The Czech Republic Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 You know what, Stuart? I like you. You're not like the other people here in the trailer park. Oh no, don't get me wrong, they're fine people, good Americans. But they're content to sit back, maybe watch a little Mork and Mindy on channel 57. Maybe kick back a cool Coors 16-ouncer. They're good fine people, Stuart. But they don't know what the queers are doing to the soil. You know that Johnny Wurster kid, the kid who delivers papers in the neighborhood? He's a fine kid. Some of the neighbors say he smokes crack, but I don't believe it. Anyway, for his 10th birthday, all he wanted was a burrow owl. Kept buggin’ his old man, "Dad, get me a burrow owl. I'll never ask for anything else as long as I live.” So the guy breaks down and buys him a burrow owl. Anyway at 10.30 the other night I go out into my yard and there's the Wurster kid looking up in the tree. I said, "What are you looking for?" He said, "I'm looking for my burrow owl." I say, "JUMPING JESUS ON A POGO STICK!!! EVERYBODY KNOWS THE BURROW OWL LIVES, IN A HOLE, IN THE GROUND!!! WHY THE HELL DO YOU THINK THEY CALL IT A BURROW OWL ANYWAY?!?!" Now Stuart, do you think a kid like that is gonna know what the queers are doing to the soil? I first became aware of this about 10 years ago, the summer my oldest boy Bill Jr. died. You know that carnival that comes to town every year? Well this year it came with a ride called the Mixer. The man said "Keep your head and arms inside the mixer at all times." But Bill Jr., he was a daredevil, just like his old man. He was leaning out saying, "Hey everybody! Look at me, look at me!" POW! He was decapitated! They found his head over by the sno-cone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr, and it's entitled, "Do you know what the queers are doing to our soil?" Now Stuart, if you look at the soil around any large U.S. city with a big underground homosexual population - Des Moines, Iowa, for example. Look at the soil around Des Moines, Stuart! You can't build on it, you can't grow anything in it. The government says it's due to poor farming. But I know what's really going on, Stuart. I know it's the queers! They're in it with the aliens! They're building landing strips for gay Martians! I swear to God! You know what Stuart, I like you. You're not like the other people, here, in the trailer park.
Giuseppe Zangara Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 Second best song on the album.
Black Lushus Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 what are you guys talking about?
The Czech Republic Posted November 30, 2004 Author Report Posted November 30, 2004 Which one is better?
Giuseppe Zangara Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 God, I got this album when I was in high school; I sold it for some stupid reason about five years ago. I have a burned copy now, but I kinda wanna buy it again just to say "sorry," or at least send a few more coins to Dave Blood's family's way.
Giuseppe Zangara Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 This thread was better before the band's name was mentioned.
Art Sandusky Posted November 30, 2004 Report Posted November 30, 2004 I knew who you were talking about when you said "Punk Rock Girl." It was on an old episode of Beavis and Butthead. "A real punk rock girl would break this guy's skull." "Yeah, and eat his brains."
The Czech Republic Posted December 1, 2004 Author Report Posted December 1, 2004 My dad introduced me to this song when I was in 2nd grade.
Guest Soriano's Torn Quad Posted August 22, 2007 Report Posted August 22, 2007 I'm glad I posted this. EDIT: Wow, I had already picked up the period-in-lieu-of-colon-when-writing-the-time affectation from my friend, all the way back in November '04? I hadn't even stolen Nellie McKay and Regina Spektor from her at that point. I still do it, too. And God, I miss her. I'm such a fucking asshole.
Henry Spencer Posted August 27, 2007 Report Posted August 27, 2007 I regret blowing the cover on the band's name.
Giuseppe Zangara Posted August 28, 2007 Report Posted August 28, 2007 I cringe now when I read one of those "this thread would've been better if no one posted in it" posts.
Henry Spencer Posted August 29, 2007 Report Posted August 29, 2007 In the case of this thread, though, you were correct.
C Dubya 04 Posted September 6, 2007 Report Posted September 6, 2007 Howard Beware -> Ringo Buys a Rifle -> Life is Shit makes this album for me. Smokin' Banana Peels too. I love that song so much I bought the EP where the first 5 songs are versions of SBP.
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now