Name the most average band you've ever heard

[Guest Loss]

Depeche Mode is the first group to come to mind. Violator is a mostly brilliant album, especially the song "Personal Jesus", but I can't think of anything else they've done that has approached greatness.

[B. Brian Brunzell 0]

Prince average? hardly.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I'd say Radiohead, Led Zeppelin, & Nickleback as the most bland, and average bands in the history of music.

Categorically wrong on the first two counts. Led Zeppelin did too much musically, influentially, and pharmacologically to be just average. Radiohead can't be average because they're fucking annoying in a distinctly unique way. With you on Nickelback though

[godthedog 0]

Second rate Massive Attack. And you know, what's with all the bands names that are (Something)head. There's too fucking many, unoriginal pricks. If a band has a name like that it's already a handicap, but it can be overcome... I do like a few of them. In fact, (Something)head would be a good name for a band.

portishead are way ahead of massive attack in terms of songwriting. oh my god do some of those lyrics on 'blue lines' suck, giving us such gems as:

 

Some have one love, two and three love

Four and five and six love

But I believe in one love

I believe in one love

Some don't feel secure unless they have a woman on each arm

They have to play the field, prove they have charm

They say don't lay your eggs in 1 basket

If the basket should fall all the eggs'll be broken

 

and:

 

We sang about the sun and danced among the trees

And we listened to the whisper of the city on the breeze

Will you cry the most in a lead-free zone

Down within the shadows where the factories drone

 

One could say that the Rolling Stones are average.

eh...i can kinda see where it's coming from, as there's a lot of posing done by them & some of their stuff comes across as them trying to be exactly what a "great rock band" should be and ends up being bland (like "salt of the earth" being their obligatory touching epic number on 'beggars banquet', or "you can't always get what you want" on 'let it bleed'). but more often than not they hit their mark, and when they did hit it they WERE exactly what a great rock band should be ("satisfaction," "bitch," etc).

[Guest Loss]

I agree with godthedog. In terms of pulling a quote from a Portishead song, the opening words of "Roads" are definitely memorable.

[Masked Man of Mystery 0]

My little brother got the Maroon 5 CD for Christmas. I listened to the first track and I said to myself "they're competant, but I don't want to listen to this." That's like the first time I've ever done that. I can usually like something or not, so I'll call them average. I mean, even their big song, "This Love" is plain. I can listen to it if I want to, but I'd much rather listen to They Might Be Giants or something.

[tominator89 0]

After reading this entire tread, I am amazed by how critical most people are on here. Tough crowd, geez.

 

 

No one mentions bands such as: Vertical Horizon, Papa Roach, Drowning Pool, Candlebox, the list goes on and on.

 

And yet we have: Van Halen, Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, Kiss, etc. named on this list?

 

Unreal.

[Henry Spencer 0]

No one mentions bands such as: Vertical Horizon, Papa Roach, Drowning Pool, Candlebox, the list goes on and on.

 

None of these bands are average.

[Nighthawk 0]

Ok, Van Halen post 1984 was average.

[The Czech Republic 0]

No one mentions bands such as: Vertical Horizon, Papa Roach, Drowning Pool, Candlebox, the list goes on and on.

 

None of these bands are average.

Vertical Horizon is pretty average. If you combined Barenaked Ladies, the Goo Goo Dolls, Dexter Freebish, and Matchbox Twenty, you'd get Baregoo Freebox, the most average rock band on the planet.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Except for Papa Roach—who at least had the good sense to do a Pixies cover—The Coat was right; none of those bands were average, they were all outright fucking awful.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

I saw The Coat reading a thread about college football earlier today. His hipster veneer is peeled away!

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Kinetic posted in sports threads, but then he was one of those assholes who think good music ceased to be after 1988, so fuck him.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Kinetic once said that Will Oldham was a Leonard Cohen ripoff, which is dumb and ignorant and suggests that he shouldn't have any opinions about music ever, regardless of time period.

[The Czech Republic 0]

haha but i ohought you and kintic were the same person so that means you can't have an opeinion oabout music haha

Thanks.

[Edwin MacPhisto 0]

I follow college football pretty closely. My hipster veneer was never there to start. Still dislike Van Halen, though.

[Red Baron 0]

Queensryche is one of the most under-rated rock bands during the 80's.

[Henry Spencer 0]

saw The Coat reading a thread about college football earlier today. His hipster veneer is peeled away!

 

I've been outed.

[The Man in Blak 0]

Except for Papa Roach—who at least had the good sense to do a Pixies cover—The Coat was right; none of those bands were average, they were all outright fucking awful.

Instant credibility for Reel Big Fish and the Get-Up Kids!

 

And I'll tack on my own sensationalist pick and nominate Morrissey.

[The Man in Blak 0]

Oooh, Pitchfork has reviews for Reel Big Fish and the Get-Up Kids (four of them, no less), so I better rescind my contentious comment from earlier.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Except for Papa Roach—who at least had the good sense to do a Pixies cover—The Coat was right; none of those bands were average, they were all outright fucking awful.

Instant credibility for Reel Big Fish and the Get-Up Kids!

Hey, hey, I wasn't saying Papa Roach was good.

[cbacon 0]

Sam Roberts

[The Czech Republic 0]

And I'll tack on my own sensationalist pick and nominate Morrissey.

Justify your selection immediately.

[The Man in Blak 0]

DISCLAIMER: I should mention that I'm working primarily from his material on You Are The Quarry but - from what I've heard - Maladjusted isn't all that different.

 

In my opinion, Morrissey's a one trick pony. He rarely strays from conventional instrumentation. His song structures, while expertly executed, still adhere to your standard verse-chorus-verse pattern. He competently mixes and matches chords, but the chordal palette that he uses to treat his lyrics, once again, harken back to standard pop chord conventions.

 

With such a pedestrian foundation, Morrissey's lyrics have to carry the entire weight of the song...which is something that most critics have already kind of figured out. Most of the reviews for You Are The Quarry focused on celebrating Morrissey's skewering of American culture; not coincidentally, I found his "skewering" to be uninspired, at best. And my distaste doesn't stop at the political commentary - I'm not a big fan of the soap opera drivel that takes up much of his stuff. (I try to convince myself that "The World Is Full Of Crashing Bores" is not meant to be taken seriously.)

 

Usually, a great songwriter (as Morrissey is reputed to be) will find a way for his music to transcend his lyrics, or vice versa, but - in Morrissey's case - both usually strike me as mediocre offerings, which combines to make mediocre music.

 

Maybe I need to make like Fred Durst and buy a Smiths T-shirt to understand.

[Your Paragon of Virtue 0]

DISCLAIMER: I should mention that I'm working primarily from his material on You Are The Quarry but - from what I've heard - Maladjusted isn't all that different.

That right there is your problem. You are judging a guy with like a catalogue containing like ten albums based on his latest.

 

I personally liked YATQ anyway, if not for the production it would be really great, but now it's just really good.

 

Slayer, Metallica, Megadeth, Iron Maiden

 

Uh oh, I think I should start embracing the testosterone in my system so I could appreciate that shit.

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

I, of course, think Morrissey is a demigod, but I accept he's always going to be a love or hate artist. That said, check out anything from Vauxhall and I, Viva Hate, Your Arsenal and the b sides collection Bona Drag, not to mention the live album from 1992 Beethoven Was Deaf. In fact, you could probably listen to that instead of Your arsenal because it's a set weighted in favour of the album and the songs just come to life. He might still not set your world alight but that's his better output.

[Red Baron 0]

And I'll tack on my own sensationalist pick and nominate Morrissey.

Justify your selection immediately.

I prefer The Smiths over Morrissey solo stuff, because I find his solo stuff, really wank. Also the lack of Johnny Marr makes me like The Smiths over his solo stuff.

 

Though You Are The Quarry is his best solo album, its not as great as many people claim it to be.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Morrissey and Marr together were never average.

[Red Baron 0]

Morrissey and Marr together were never average.

Morrissey and Marr made some excellent music ever made. Morrissey without Marr is either a hit or miss.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A girl tried playing the new Morrissey cd for me, and she turned it off after the first track made me laugh hysterically. Is that guy serious?