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King Cucaracha

PROMO: The SWF X-Mas Party~!!

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"SNOW IS FALLIN', ALL AROUND ME

CHILDREN PLAYIN', HAVIN' FUN

IT'S THE SEASON, LOVE AND UNDERSTANDIN'

...

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!"

 

It's Christmas!

 

*hooray*

 

Which means only one thing to the tireless, diehard employees of company's around the world...tired after a full year of doing the same job day in, day out for the same amount of measly pay, ignored by superiors for the majority of the time. That's right. It's a chance to get drunk and make an ass of yourself together with all of your colleagues. With the chance of making out with the females amongst them. And then regret it come New Year. It can only be the Christmas Party! And as the various members of the SWF staff and roster jig and bop around to the sound of "Merry Christmas Everyone" by Shakin' Stevens, one person in particular seems to be in the festive mood.

 

Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix.

 

Walking around the room and past various people with a smile almost engraved on his face, Maddix is patted on the back and given quick messages of congratulations from pretty much everyone he passes, accepting them all with a smile, 'thanks' and a quick thumbs up. See, for Landon Maddix, this Christmas promises to be an extra special event. After all, he's just recieved the greatest Christmas present of all. The SWF World Heavyweight Championship. And despite the rather unsightly elastoplast on his forehead covering up a multitude of stitches, Maddix is otherwise ready to party. It's just a shame that Alan Clark is standing in his way.

 

"Great party, champ!" Clark shouts over the blaring music, sounding a little like he's been at the cooking sherry, if you get my drift.

 

"It's what I do best." Maddix shouts back, despite being a little pre-occupied. "Listen, have you..."

 

"You know, I KNEW you could beat Toxxic. I said...said to Todd not a week before Slay Ride, I said 'Maddix is gonna beat Toxxic. I'd bet my house on him'. And...I was right. See, I've been in the ring with you champ and I know what talents you've got. I had confidence in you, even if a lot of people thought you couldn't do it."

 

"Well hey, if you could beat Toxxic, it can't be THAT hard." Maddix quips at his old adversary, still scanning the room in search of something. Or, someone. "And...you don't have to call me champ after every sentence you know."

 

"Okay champ."

 

"...how much have you had exactly Clark?"

 

"Whadda'ya mean?" Clark drawls.

 

"To drink Clark. How much have you had...to drink."

 

"Nothin' champ. I've been sticking to the punch. See, there's this chick in front office who I kinda wanted to impress and when I get drunk, I tend to kinda ramble on and on without saying anything of any sort of...of...you know, revelance..."

 

"Relevance?"

 

"Exactly! So, I'm sticking to the punch, so I don't get drunk and make an ass of myself in front of this chick. She works in front office you see, and I kinda wanted to impress her..."

 

"I hate to tell you Clark but...the punch isn't non-alcoholic."

 

Alan suddenly stops rambling, a little surprised...which is odd, seeing as he's clearly pretty under the influence.

 

"How much have you had?" Maddix asks again.

 

"...a few glasses."

 

"Right."

 

"And...and I stole Todd's glass."

 

"Right."

 

"...a couple of times."

 

"...right."

 

"And I finished off the last jug because I was getting thirsty with all these lights and stuff."

 

"That's great Clark, great." mumbles Maddix, again scanning the room as he continues to only half-listen to Clark. "Listen, I'd love to stay and chat to you. Well, actually, I really wouldn't. But...look, Clark, have you seen Meg..."

 

"Allison!" Clark suddenly blurts out. "I've been trying to remember her name all night! I'll be back in a moment, don't go anywhere champ."

 

With a wink, Clark staggers off in search of whoever the hell he was blathering about, leaving Maddix standing in the middle of the room with an incredulous look on his face.

 

"I never liked him."

 

Sighing, Maddix turns around and begins to look around again, but he obviously can't find who or what he's looking for, as he walks off aimlessly. You'd think the party would be centered around Maddix. He IS the new World Champion after all. He shouldn't be looking for anyone...people should be looking for him. But the party is in full swing and now, Maddix is just another party-goer. Groaning and mumbling to himself, Maddix taps a taller man on the shoulder. A taller man named Danny Dagda.

 

"Hey...oh, hey!" Dagda chuckles. "Listen, thanks for the invite..."

 

"No problem...uhm...Razor. Listen..."

 

"It's Danny. Danny Dagda."

 

"Of course, sorry."

 

"Why did you call me Razor?"

 

"Because...uhm...I have this thing, where I...create nicknames for people! Yeah. And I thought of razor...for you. 'Cause you're...uhm...sharp. Listen, I need to ask you something Dagda. Have you seen Meg..."

 

"Razor eh?" Dagda muses.

 

"Have you seen Megan?" Maddix suddenly rambles, determined to finish his sentence this time.

 

"Have I seen Megan?" chuckles Dagda. "Hot damn, I've seen Megan, yeah. *wolf-whistles* She's looking mighty fine tonight I've gotta sa..."

 

"No, I mean have you seen Megan around here anywhere? As in, where is she?"

 

Dagda shrugs his shoulders with an uninterested grunt and quickly turns back to the two nameless women he was talking too. Glaring at Dagda, the World and ICTV Champion (w00t!) sighs and starts searching around once more for his valet. Which is hard to do, when Dominic Korgath is standing in his way.

 

"Woah-ho!" Maddix chuckles. "Long time, no see. Listen, have you..."

 

But Maddix again fails to finish his sentence...as Korgath steps to the side, introducing Maddix to his new friends, Max King and Kelly Connelly. Needless to say, that sucks the party spirit right out of the double champion.

 

"Well, well, well." Kelly sneers, adjusting her own newly won World Title...of the Women's variety. "If it isn't Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. 'Congratulations' Landon."

 

"Yeah, whatever. Look, ha..."

 

"Now that you're the...'World Champion'." King suddenly interrupts. "I guess you won't be needing MY belt anymore, eh kid? But, just a word of warning. Don't go handing it to anyone else just yet, please? After all, Kelly is almost finished in negotiating my World Title shot AND my ICTV Title shot against you."

 

"Look, I didn't invite you two to get involved in some slanging match. Infact, come to think of it, I didn't invite you at all. But that's okay. I'm in a good mood, since winning the WORLD Heavyweight Championship."

 

Kelly and King exchange a look of disgust as Maddix smiles wryly at another of his old adversaries...just as "Merry Christmas Everyone" stops and someone scrambles to change the CD.

 

"I heard what you said and rest assured, I WON'T be giving up this ICTV Championship. To you or to anyone Now, have you seen Megan around?"

 

Exchanging another look, Kelly and King smile wryly at one another, before Kelly sneers at Maddix once more. Meanwhile, in the background, "Lonely This Christmas" can be heard playing now.

 

"Oh, I have NO idea WHERE she could BE!" Kelly howls dramatically, before snickering and pulling King over to the dance-floor. Leaving Maddix to scowl off in their direction, watching as King takes Kelly in his arms. Exactly what he wants at his party...one of his sworn enemies dancing the night away with the lady he loves. Or lusts after at least. Maddix continues to glare over at King and Kelly as they slowly begin to move around the dance-floor, along with plenty of other fledging couples...

 

 

 

...and Megan Skye...

 

 

 

 

...in the arms of Todd Cortez!?!

 

"IT'LL BE LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS.

WITHOUT YOU, TO HOLD."

 

And sure enough, Maddix notices them at the most musically inopportune time.

 

"IT'LL BE LONELY THIS CHRISTMAS.

LONELY, AND COLD."

 

Perhaps luckily, they don't notice him as he stares mouth agape.

 

"IT'LL BE COLD, SO COLD...

WITHOUT YOU, TO HOLD...

...

THIS CHRISTMAS."

 

As Maddix continues to stand frozen in the centre of the room, a hand lands on his shoulder. A gloved hand. Attached to some more spandex. Attached...to a mask.

 

"Happy Holiday Citizen Maddix!"

 

Pause, Spin, Pose, Trumpets.

 

"Oh, and congratulations on a great victory by the way. Secretly, I'm rather glad you finally took the World Championship off of that vagabond Toxxic. I wish you the best of lu...what's the matter? ...oh."

 

Comet finally catches Maddix's line of vision and sees Cortez and Megan dancing around the dancefloor, sighing as he does so.

 

"Oh."

 

"Yeah, oh."

 

"...but you and Megan aren't...courting, are you?"

 

"Courting? Who the hell uses that word anymore?"

 

"Superheros."

 

"Oh." Maddix groans, before sinking back into his sulk. "No...we're not."

 

"Are Megan and Cortez?"

 

"...it's Christmas and they're dancing to 'Lonely This Christmas'. You do the math."

 

"It...could be perfectly innocent. I'm sure Megan thinks a lot of you..."

 

"No, it's not that." Maddix insists. "I don't...you know. No. Me and Megan? No way. We're just friends. Colleagues. Work partners. Nothing more, nothing less."

 

"Then, what exactly is the problem?"

 

"...I don't know. It's just odd, seeing her with someone. Especially with Cortez. You know, because we're tag partners now and all. Sort of."

 

Maddix stops, deep in thought.

 

"Methinks I should go." Comet sighs before swooping off, leaving Maddix standing in the centre of the party. On his own. Alone.

 

 

 

*****LATER THAT NIGHT*****

 

3:00 AM, and the last of the drunken stragglers has been escorted from the party. The room is now clear except for five. They of course being the members of Martial Law- Maddix, Clark, Cortez and Megan. Oh, and some bint Clark has pulled in the course of his ramblings. Ever the valet, Megan is busy sweeping over the room with a broom, picking up the various decorations that have been pulled from the ceiling, the many shards of broken glasses and what's left of an autographed Tom Flesher picture (I had to mention him somewhere). Meanwhile, Cortez and Maddix are busy clearing the tables of empty bowls and glasses, dumping them in-discriminately into a black trash bag.

 

"So...Hardcore Champion, huh?" Maddix finally mumbles, breaking what had been a slightly awkward silence. "Should be fun."

 

"I'm just glad I managed to get the last laugh." Cortez smiles.

 

And just like that, another awkward silence falls.

 

"Listen...I just wanted to say, I'm cool with it."

 

Maddix has stopped his cleaning now and is looking at Cortez ready to guage his reaction. Which doesn't come, as Cortez continues cleaning, oblivious.

 

"So long as you don't want a shot, that's fine."

 

"No! No, I didn't mean that. Goodness no. I'm just saying, I'm not going to come between your relationship...it's hardly my place now, is it."

 

"Exactly. Last time we had a hardcore match, I beat your ass, remember?"

 

Maddix smiles...and then realises Cortez hasn't understood quite correctly.

 

"I...didn't mean the Hardcore Gamers...Megan!"

 

"What about her?"

 

"I'm cool with it."

 

Looking rather confused, Cortez takes a half-empty glass in his hand...eyeing up the contents, ut deciding against risking a drink of it. After all, you never know where some of these WFers have been.

 

"Forgive me for...you know, being a bit slow on the uptake here champ. But, I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about. Are you saying, you and her are..."

 

"No. I'm saying, you and her are."

 

Cortez suddenly stops, raising an eyebrow as he unconsciously drops a glass bottle into his trash bag, the bottle smashing as it hits the rest of the trash.

 

"Listen, you don't need to sneak around Todd. I saw you two. Dancing. Earlier? Remember?"

 

"Oh...that..."

 

A serious tone has filled the air now as the two allies are staring at one another, neither quite sure how to react. Until Cortez starts to fight back laughter. Only to burst out into hysterics moments later, unable to hold it. Maddix looks a little pertubed as he doesn't get the joke, but Cortez seems to find the funny side of this.

 

"You...thought me and Megan...you thought that us dancing...oh man, you're priceless." Cortez splutters in between fits of chuckling. "That was nothin'."

 

"Nothing?" Maddix asks incredulously.

 

"It's a Christmas party Landon! It's what people do. They drink, they eat and they dance. Just because Alan's desperate to get his leg over with anything that wears a dress, doesn't mean I am. Besides, everyone knows you've got the hots for her yourself. Wouldn't be right to be moving in on her now, would it. We've only just alligned with each other."

 

Cortez stops, judging from Maddix's reaction that he needs a moment.

 

"Everybody?" Maddix finally sputters.

 

"What?"

 

"Everybody thinks I've got the hots for Megan?"

 

"Well, everybody except her maybe. It's just a rumour, obviously."

 

"But...we're..."

 

"Just friends, I know. Which explains that time you wore nothing but the European Title and a pair of boxer shorts in front of her one time back in the SJL, right? And, let's face it...why would you have asked about me and her if you didn't have intentions of your own?"

 

Pausing again, Maddix picks up another empty bottle...before placing it back on the table absent-mindedly. Over his shoulder a certain someone is walking over now and Maddix seems keen to suddenly start clearing up once more.

 

"So...when do you want your title shot Todd?"

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Little Disclaimer: This isn't the seeds of a Cortez/Maddix feud over Megan, don't worry. It's taken me 12 months to follow up on the Megan/Maddix sexual tension dealy properly. And this is it.

 

And before you ask, Revolution Zero weren't invited.

 

OMG NEW GLASS CEILING INSTALLED~!

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Bwahaha, fucking priceless man. Really nice, none serious promo that actually still carries on some storyline stuff.

 

God, reminds me of lots of sappy romance movies though.

 

It's worth money if she comes out wearing the ICTV and World titles as underwear just to really take tension. And for the genius comedy of it.

 

It was a plan me and Aecas though about long, long about with tag tag tiles for the other halves, but hey.

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Jesus Christ... I'm not like *THAT*. Close, but not quite.

 

 

Also, Clark once nailed the sexual tension with Megan and Landon right before 13th Hour (Landon, you wrote that promo too).

 

 

Also, Comet's "courting" line and me blurting out a bizarre "Allison!" are tops. It seems alot of people in the fed go after Allisons. Or at least two (or three now) i guess.

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Little Disclaimer: This isn't the seeds of a Cortez/Maddix feud over Megan, don't worry. It's taken me 12 months to follow up on the Megan/Maddix sexual tension dealy properly. And this is it.

 

And before you ask, Revolution Zero weren't invited.

 

OMG NEW GLASS CEILING INSTALLED~!

I wouldn't want to be in your crappy promo.

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Maddix, expect King to go over your head here, and make a proposal to the SWF Board of Directors and Championship Committee (if they're not one in the same) about the ICTV title situation.

 

In the meantime though, Kelly is just going to laugh at Megan.

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King, expect Toxxic to come find you and kick your head in. He was quite fond of that ICTV Title, and he won't like you trying to win it cheaply.

 

Plus, you hit Sean in the nuts and made a steroid crack.

 

Plus, Max King is a dick.

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King, expect Toxxic to come find you and kick your head in. He was quite fond of that ICTV Title, and he won't like you trying to win it cheaply.

 

Plus, you hit Sean in the nuts and made a steroid crack.

 

Plus, Max King is a dick.

Hmm, interesting. A (possibly short term) face turn for Toxxic?

 

Cause I know damn well that I don't want King to be cheered."

 

<King>And how is it a cheap win? I was the previous champion, thus since the current champion has a belt that he may need more focus on, the title should rightly be returned to the previous champion.

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I'm not sure if Toxxic can ever really turn face. But no, he wouldn't turn face for the purposes of kicking your arse. He'd just kick it and tell the fans to go fuck themselves while he did it.

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I'm not sure if Toxxic can ever really turn face. But no, he wouldn't turn face for the purposes of kicking your arse. He'd just kick it and tell the fans to go fuck themselves while he did it.

Well, if that's the case, King may have to bust out "Real American" once again for his theme. >=D

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*cues up Bowie's 'I'm Afraid Of Americans'*

 

I'll see your entrance music and raise you.

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*cues up Bowie's 'I'm Afraid Of Americans'*

 

I'll see your entrance music and raise you.

Heh.

 

The question is though...has Toxxic ever actually USED that music?

 

King HAS used Real American before, on the other hand.

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