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Rob E Dangerously

Old Woman throws garden gnome at criminal

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Don't fuck with me, bitches

 

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2005171819,00.html

 

Gran has gnome security

By JOHN COLES

 

BATTLING gran Jean Collop nabbed a burglar — by laying him out with a garden gnome.

 

Widow Jean, 69, woke at 5am to find an intruder clambering on her roof.

 

She spotted him heading for a window and decided on a spot of elf defence.

 

Jean yelled at the man, then picked up a gnome and hurled it at him.

 

It bounced off his head, leaving him lying dazed on the roof.

 

Jean dashed to fetch her rolling pin and a camera — then took flash photos of the burglar as neighbours called the police.

 

Officers arrived to find the man still on the roof and half a dozen locals standing guard in Wadebridge, Cornwall.

 

Jean said: “I heard a crash and rushed out in my nightdress. I politely told him not to move and grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a garden gnome.

 

“When it hit him he lay down for a while. I got my rolling pin in case. I didn’t want to break another gnome.”

 

Neighbour Liz Owen said: “Once Jean gets riled, she goes like a good ’un.” Police later cautioned a 20-year-old.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion

Fuckin' A. She's pretty strong for being an old lady, to be able to chuck a ceramic ornament up on her roof with accuracy.

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Well, if this took place in England, with all their hippie gun-control laws the only thing you can do is chuck gnomes.

 

Way to go, grams...

But if this were the US, the crook would be suing her for it.

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I heard a crash and rushed out in my nightdress. I politely told him not to move and grabbed the first thing that came to hand, which was a garden gnome.

 

This quite dishonest of her. I mean she asked politely so I am guessing the young man stopped moving and to reward his respecting of her polite request, she hit him in the head with tacky lawn decor. Shameful.

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