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Giuseppe Zangara

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I'm a little troubled by VH1's "I Love the New Millennium" series. It's a lot like that Onion article about nostalgia becoming so accelerated that we'll eventually run out of past, which will result in us becoming nostalgic for things that haven't happened yet. I mean, the decade is still in progress. They couldn't have waited a year and a half to roll this thing out? Are people really that eager to have pop culture fads from 2005 reflected on by Michael Ian Black and Chris Jericho?

 

VH1 is seriously the worst channel. At least MTV has all those retarded/hilarious fake dating shows.

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i agree with the "I Love the New Millennium" shows. too soon. the decade isn't even over yet. what if the defining moment of the decade hasn't happened yet? though i'd love to see something be more defining than 9/11. BUT YOU NEVER KNOW!

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As has been mentioned elsewhere online, 9/11 is given the same amount of time and treated with roughly the same amount of reverence as the movie Pearl Harbor. These shows mercifully steer clear of real social commentary, focusing instead on snarky comments about things like Janet Jackson's "wardrobe malfunction" and Kramer's nightclub meltdown. The whole thing seems to be geared towards People magazine subscribers who have been in a coma for the last eight years.

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Guest !!!

Somewhere on McSweeney's is a piece about Michael Ian Black lamenting his status as a "fundit." Now, I enjoyed I Love the '80s in the summer of '03 when it was a new concept, but holy shit, did they ever ruin a good thing: not only the series, but the whole network itself. VH1 is truly the inner ass of television.

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I suppose any of the I Love the... series is preferable to Rock of Love or, worse yet, Flava of Love. There are times when, unable to sleep, I can get caught up in one of VH1's list specials, like the top 40 metal songs of all time or what have you. But more often than not, they air the worst sort of barrel-scraping reality TV dreck.

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Yeah VH1 is the worst. It became the network for D-List celebs and a bunch of neverbeens to circle jerk over stuff and try to be funny... along with watching the downfall of people who had a quick run on the A or B-List with shit like Surreal Life, Love Shows, and Celebrity Rehab...

 

Hey what happened to that show, Can't Get a Date? It was at the very least tolerable compared to the rest of the chum they aired

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Guest Vitamin X

So, I'm in an online class for the summer and some girl posted the following as her introduction on the site for the first week of class:

 

My name is Jess. I'm a liberal studies major and a student of life. My hobbies/interests are travel, literature, cinema, art, music, herbalism, sewing, sampling exotic foods, contemplating the role of corporate hegemony in society, biology, theology, philosophy, metaphysics, history, geography, astronomy, astrology, mysticism, political science, permaculture, tantric sex, shamanism, linguistics, and macrame. I have an IQ of 140 and I wear my hair in dreadlocks. My favourite colour is green and my favourite band is Pink Floyd.

 

....

 

About half of that is normal, and the other half is just fucking OUT there. Tantric sex, though? I must meet this person.

 

This is a sociology class, BTW.

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Being deliberately amoral is difficult sometimes. I'm definitely glad I'm not attracted to children, cause I'd be like "Well, I have to rape kids, who am I to deny it?" But I also spent most of my teen years actively planning to grow up to be a serial killer, and I didn't do it.

Weird how I turned out so nice.

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So it turns out that one of my new coworkers does some indy shows here in Georgia under the alias of Frank the Tank. I wonder how soon is too soon to blow him away with my encyclopedic knowledge of pro wrestling terminology.

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So, I'm in an online class for the summer and some girl posted the following as her introduction on the site for the first week of class:

 

My name is Jess. I'm a liberal studies major and a student of life. My hobbies/interests are travel, literature, cinema, art, music, herbalism, sewing, sampling exotic foods, contemplating the role of corporate hegemony in society, biology, theology, philosophy, metaphysics, history, geography, astronomy, astrology, mysticism, political science, permaculture, tantric sex, shamanism, linguistics, and macrame. I have an IQ of 140 and I wear my hair in dreadlocks. My favourite colour is green and my favourite band is Pink Floyd.

 

....

 

About half of that is normal, and the other half is just fucking OUT there. Tantric sex, though? I must meet this person.

 

This is a sociology class, BTW.

 

Oh, nobody with a 140 IQ has, does, or ever will go to Portland State.

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I'm dating a Russian girl named Svetlana Yanuknyova who tonight, after our third date, deemed it the appropriate time to take four percoset and snort a xanax in front of me. I think she may be the one.

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Guest Vitamin X
Oh, nobody with a 140 IQ has, does, or ever will go to Portland State.

Don't you underestimate me!

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It's slightly before two. I was in bed and literally woke up screaming. Hysterically screaming, like in the movies. Nothing seems to have happened... no horse head in the bed. No dream that I can recall. No pain. I think I was actually awakened by the sound of my own screams, which I might have thought were a dream themselves, except my throat is slightly sore.

 

“The depth of darkness to which you can descend and still live is an exact measure of the height to which you can aspire to reach.”

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^ I followed this up with a dream about being a harem sex slave for Cameron Diaz and a girl I work with. This was pleasurable for a while, but I end up escaping by befriending one of the attendants, an anthropomorphic bucket of slime known as Filth the Worthless. Unsure of Filth's gender, I have sex with it anyway, then betray its trust and fashion a crude bomb out of it using jailhouse Kool Aid.

 

All in all, I'd call it a good night.

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