The Worst Match in 'Wrestling' History

[Guest MideonMark]

Saw this posted on the DVD board. Be warned, this match will make your eyes bleed. The commentary is, however, fantastic.

 

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=24MBYIMH

[Placebo Effect 0]

Ohhh wow. I'm only a minute into the match and this is hilarious.

[Hunter's Torn Quad 0]

Is this the Kriss Sprules v Cage Tyler match that is doing the rounds?

[Ravenbomb 0]

it's the Sprules Belly Push~!

[Guest Stunt Granny]

Somebody give that announcer a job NOW!

[Ravenbomb 0]

or just have ICP do a british accent for the next JCW tape, it'll be about the same thing

[Robert 0]

Yes, this is it. It's a guy from some EWR message board on commentary

[JST 0]

Being in the biz, this was just THAT extra-painful for me to watch. But I definitely loved the brutally honest announcer.

 

Nice counter to the Figure Four Counter, though.

[Guest news_gimmick]

JESUS H CHRIST I THINK HES DEAD. HES DEAD.

[Guest Stunt Granny]

oh no it's the.....CLOTHESLINE!!! and now the kicks, DAMN YOU SPRULES!! DAMN YOU!!

[Ced 0]

Jesus Christ...I've seen backyard wrestling with better technical skills used. The commentator trying his damndest to sell this shitfest as wrestling clinic is the only saving grace of the match.

 

I just lost it on weak-ass chop and oversell followed by the THE MOST DEADLY LEGDROP~! that had absolutely no air. Hilarious.

[Dangerous A 0]

It's like watching Jackie v. Trish from 2002, except they are given more time. Watching this just reinforces that wrestling training is NOT overrated. I almost vomited laughing watching Sprules attempt the sharpshooter wrong.

 

It's funny at the end where the announcer apologizes for the words of Sprules. He should be apologizing for the match those 2 dipshits just had.

[Mystery Eskimo 0]

I loved the slow motion whips. And the pin reverse sequence was a sight to behold. Poor guys. Maybe they'll learn how to...I don't know...do ANYTHING properly before committing another match to video.

[Ravenbomb 0]

still, nothing > the SPRULES BELLY PUSH~!

[Prophet of Mike Zagurski 0]

I think it's one of my favorite matches ever.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

I just downloaded this out of boredom today and checked it out... holy Christ...

 

Best line IMO: Cage Tyler looking like a poor man's Jeff Hardy... but don't be fooled... he IS a poor man's Jeff Hardy!

 

That whole 15 minutes was FUCKING GOLD.

[Guest Fook]

"Don't be fooled by the BLAND haircut, the BLAND clothes, or the BLAND valet! This man is a monster of professional wrestling!"

[The Amazing Rando 0]

"...to the capacity crowd of TWELVE!"

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

"OH! OH! SPRULES FELL OVER, BUT HE STILL HIT THAT DEVASTATING MOVE!"

 

...this match makes me and my friend Chris's backyard shit look like Flair/Steamboat.

[Guest xSarahx]

Just when you think you've seen everything....holy crap, this was hilarious.

Here's some of my favorite quotes:

 

"These two have hated each other for all 30 seconds so far."

 

"Throw away your Austin vs. Rock at WrestleMania 17, this is the big one."

 

"Soneone's clapping for him"

 

"This (headlock) has ended all three matches in Cage Tyler's career."

 

"Kriss Sprules lost his traditional afro to make him more aero-dynamic for this match."

 

"A staredown, either that or they're friends again"

 

"Ooh, and the dreaded Sprules belly push. Sprules ate about another 3 chicken burgers to warm up for this match"

 

"Giving him a sympathy hug either that or its that butterfly lock again. I'm pretty confident its a hug"

 

"I don't think Cage Tyler has ever been out of the house before"

 

"Cage Tyler of course wearing that arm band in memory of his recently passed guinea pig. Either that or he's tied a knot to remember something."

 

"And look at Melina, that plain-looking hussy"

 

"I have not seen a move countered like that in my entire 9 minutes career of commentating."

 

"It's that dreaded homoerotic pin that Kriss Sprules managed to counter it."

 

"And there's his ass crack again"

 

Perfect material for signatures.