A2A Losing Matches Thread

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

One of my best matches, wrestling wise. But writing wise, it was pretty bleh. Comments, kthnx.

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“Fans, it has been a long journey for Spike Jenkins to finally get his shot at the SWF World Heavyweight Title here tonight, LIVE from The Tokyo Dome,” comes the familiar voice of Pete, “The only thing left in his way is the champion, El Luchadore Magnifico!”

 

“The only thing? You say that as if Spike actually has a chance tonight!” shouts King.

 

“Spike has been through so much soul searching and has been trying to find himself as he enters tonight’s competition. I believe that he will pull out the victory against that dastardly Luchadore!”

 

“Soul searching? Is that what you call being on the worst losing streak in the HISTORY of the SWF?”

 

“Before we bring you the main event, it is time for the Pepsi MAX © Tale of the Tape!”

 

 

EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO

HEIGHT: 71 INCHES

WEIGHT: 210 POUNDS

FINISHERS: LA DIA DE LOS MUERTOS

BAJA CALIFORNIA CRUSHER

LAST FIVE: 4-0-1

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Four Time World Heavyweight Champ

Held World Title for 258 Combined Days

(Federation Record)

Five Time Light-Heavyweight Champ

(Federation Record)

One Time Tag Team Champ

 

SPIKE JENKINS

HEIGHT: 73 INCHES

WEIGHT: 220 POUNDS

FINISHER: RATINGS CRASH

CLEAN LIVING

SILVER LINING

LAST FIVE: 0-0-5

ACCOMPLISHMENTS

Two Time Cruiserweight Champion

(Federation Record)

One Time Tag Team Champion

 

POWER ADVANTAGE: Push

LEVERAGE ADVANTAGE: Spike Jenkins

SPEED ADVANTAGE: El Luchadore Magnifico

EXPERIENCE ADVANTAGE: El Luchadore Magnifico

TECHNICAL ADVANTAGE: Spike Jenkins

HOT/COLD: El Luchadore Magnifico – Hot, Spike Jenkins - Cold

OVERALL ADVANTAGE: El Luchador Magnifico

 

“Now THAT is exactly why ELM is going to show why Spike Jenkins doesn’t belong here tonight!”

 

“Quiet you!” says Pete, “It’s time for our main event of the evening! THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IS ON THE LINE!”

 

*DING DING DING*

 

The sound of the bell gets the attention of the Japanese fans in attendance, as every light in the arena dims down.

 

*BAM BAM BAM*

 

*BAM BAM BAM*

 

*BAM BAM BAM*

 

*BAM BAM BAM*

 

*BAM BAM BAM*

 

The crushing drumming of Lamb of God’s “Black Label” hits the Tokyo Dome, sending shockwaves throughout the crowd. Finally…

 

 

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

“Hollywood” Spike Jenkins storms out from behind the curtain, walking out onto the main stage area. Standing in between the two funeral pyres, Spike throws his arms around, trying to get the crowd to give him energy as he heads into his first World Title match. Spike drops to one knee, the fog slowly covering his body as raises his arms into an X, symbolizing his Straight Edge lifestyle.

 

“There is no doubt that Spike Jenkins is nervous as he enters the big stage!”

 

“He should be more nervous about the ass kicking he is going to get by our great champion!”

 

Spike rises to his feet and makes his way down to the ring. He rolls underneath the bottom rope, straight into the middle of the ring, where he raises to one knee. Removing the hood from his “BANE” zip-up hoodie. Releasing his dyed blonde hair, Spike rises to his feet, his arms forming an X. He peels off the hoodie, tossing it out of the ring, and runs into the corner. Climbing up onto the middle rope, he slaps himself in the chest and uses his hands to show the image of a title around his waist.

 

“Spike Jenkins looks ready for his match tonight!” says Pete, “His losing streak isn’t going to take his mind off of the prize here tonight!”

 

Spike stands in his corner, using the ropes to stretch out as he awaits the champion. The lights in the arena die out for a second time, as…

 

 

“HEY HEY!”

 

 

*BOOM*

 

Atake FDD’s “Tu Final” finally hits the speakers, accompanied by a burst of red, white, and green pyro that explodes upwards from the stage. A moment later, El Luchadore Magnifico, illuminated by a single spotlight, bursts out from the pyro-induced smoke, holding two Mexican flags and the SWF World Heavyweight Title around his waist. The flags flap gracefully behind the luchadore as he quickly strides down the ramp, his eyes focused on the ring and nothing else. A cocky grin on his face as he eyes his opponent inside the ring.

 

“There is our World Champion!” applauds King.

 

“We’ll see by the end of the night if he can hold onto that title.”

 

“How do you even think El Luchadore Magnifico is going to lose the title? Spike Jenkins just lost to GHOST MACHINE!”

 

“Due to interference from OUR World Champion!”

 

“Interference? From what I remember, Spike Jenkins left the ring and got himself counted out!”

 

ELM climbs up the steel steps, still waving the Mexican Flags inside the Tokyo Dome. ELM places the flags on the ring apron, as he steps into the ring. Magnifico stands across the ring from his challenger. Spike goes to charge the champion, but referee Matthew Kivell gets in his way, trying to keep him back. Magnifico laughs at his challenger, as Funyon stands in the middle of the ring, ready to make his announcements.

 

“The following contest is YOUR MAIN EVENT and is scheduled for one fall with a sixty minute time limit and is for the SWF HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD!” the quiet Japanese crowd applauses as Funyon goes to finish, “First, to my left, he is the CHALLENGER! From Hollywood, California…weighing two hundred and twenty pounds…he is… “HOLLLLLLLLLYWOOOOOOOD” SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNKIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!”

 

Spike comes out of his corner; his arms raised in the air as the Japanese crowd throw multi-colored streamers into the ring, showing respect to the challenger. Spike backs into his corner, looking over at ELM, who mockingly applauds his challenger.

 

“INTRODUCING NEXT! From Mexico City, Mexico…weighing in at a total of two hundred and ten pounds…he is the current reigning and defending SWF World Heavyweight Champion!!! He is ELLLLLLLL LUCHADORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRE MAG-NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIF-ICOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!”

 

ELM comes out of his corner, the World Heavyweight Title raised above his head as streamers crash into the ring. Magnifico hands the belt to Referee Kivell, who then brings it over to Spike. Spike looks at the title, realizing this is the closest he has ever gotten to it besides when Toxxic held it during Revolution Zero. Soon, though, it will be his.

 

Kivell enters the center of the ring, raising the title above his head as flash photography from around the ringside area goes off. Kivell hands the title over to a ring crewmember and enters the center of the ring again, this time, calling for the bell.

 

*Ding Ding Ding*

 

And the World Heavyweight Title Match begins!

 

“Here we go, folks! The long awaited battle between El Luchadore Magnifico and Spike Jenkins!”

 

“Lets get it on!”

 

“Yeah…”

 

Both men begin circling around the ring, both men keeping their distance from across the ring. They both enter the center, keeping aware of each other’s movements as they lock up with a collar and elbow tie up. They both struggle for control, with ELM getting the advantage and controlling Spike back into the corner. Spike gets wrapped in the ropes, causing Kivell to come in and break it up. ELM breaks the hold and slowly begins to back away…

 

 

 

 

 

…But not before slapping Spike across the face!

 

“Bitch slapped!”

 

“That was uncalled for!”

 

ELM walks away from the corner, laughing to him as Spike stares a hole straight through him.

 

“Magnifico is just proving to Spike that he doesn’t belong here. Its that simple!”

 

Spike comes out of the corner he was in and storms over to ELM, where they lock up in a collar and elbow tie up. This time around, Spike pushes Mags back into a corner. Kivell gets in the middle of them, trying to break it up. Spike lets go of ELM and slowly backs out of the corner…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But not before ELM slaps Spike across the face again!

 

 

“Twice!” laughs King.

 

Spike tries to grab ELM around the throat, but ELM quickly goes for a collar and elbow tie up to stop him. ELM pushes Spike back into the center of the ring, but Jenkins uses his masterful chain wrestling skills to get behind Magnifico with a hammerlock. ELM tries to fight counter, but Spike quickly brings him face first to the mat. ELM climbs to his knees and rolls forward onto his back, which causes Spike to jump to his feet, keeping a hold on Magnifico’s wrist. ELM pulls back and kips up straight to his feet, reversing Spike’s arm wringer into one of his own, forcing Jenkins to his knees. The Luchadore wrenches on Spike’s arm, as he gets to his feet. Spike rolls forward and lands on his feet, where he then handsprings over ELM. Spike uses his arm to break the grip Magnifico has and drives his shoulder into the abdomen, and lifting the champion into the air, flipping him over with a release northern lights suplex! Spike floats over, still holding onto Magnifico’s wrist for the cover!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

Magnifico gets a shoulder up, as Spike stands up onto one knee, locking his fingers with ELM’s in a Greco-Roman knuckle lock.

 

“Spike Jenkins taking control early on in the match,” starts Pete, “Jenkins is considered to be the best chain-wrestler in the SWF today!”

 

“I really didn’t miss the fifteen minute chain wrestling sequence in Spike Jenkins matches. Considering lately, he hasn’t had the time to do it when he loses!”

 

“Very mature, King.”

 

ELM rolls over onto his stomach and climbs up to his feet. Spike switches up from the knuckle lock into an arm wringer. He wrenches at the arm, as he spins underneath it to apply more pressure. ELM tries to push him off, but can’t get it done. Magnifico brings his knee up to knock Spike back, allowing ELM to try and turn around, but he just ends up getting caught in a hammerlock. ELM pushes Spike back towards the ropes, wrapping his free arm behind the neck of Spike, as if going for a snapmare. ELM jumps straight up into the air, using Spike to hold himself up…and he comes down, flipping Spike over with a lucha-style snapmare!

 

“Lucha libre!”

 

“El Luchadore Magnifico using some of his lucha libre skills to bring Jenkins to the mat!”

 

Spike quickly climbs up to his feet, but not as fast as ELM. ELM charges at Spike and hits him with a lucha shoulder block that stuns the challenger for a moment. Magnifico runs backwards into the ropes and charges towards Spike, who leaps up into the air over ELM with a leapfrog. ELM continues off the ropes, as Spike drop down to the mat. ELM jumps over Spike and continues across the ropes. ELM bounces off the ropes and comes running in towards Jenkins…who drives his forearm straight into the jaw of the champion! Magnifico crashes to the mat with Jenkins right on top of him with the pin!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

T…NO! ELM kicks out!

 

“Running forearm smash that ROCKS the Champion!”

 

ELM tries to shake it off as he climbs to his feet, but is met with an elbow to the back of the head. Spike wields back and slams his forearm across the chest of Magnifico with a European Uppercut. Mags staggers back, but Spike lifts ELM off the mat and drives him back down with a body slam. Spike drops down for the cover.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TW…No! ELM kicks out!

 

“So far in this match, Spike Jenkins has had total control over El Luchadore Magnifico!”

 

Spike peels Mags off the mat and up to his feet. Grabbing a hold of his wrist, Spike spins underneath his arm and wrenches at the champions shoulder. ELM spins out of it, locking Spike in his own arm wrench. Magnifico grabs Spike by the hair and flips him forward with a snapmare. Spike sits up, but ELM quickly drops an elbow onto the top of his head! Magnifico quickly grabs a chin lock. Jenkins climbs up to his feet, so ELM transitions into a side headlock.

 

“Side headlock by the champion to keep Spike in place. ELM obviously trying to catch his breath after Spike having control the whole match.”

 

The Hollywood Superstar tries to break free by pushing ELM off of him, but to no avail. He bucks his hips, trying to lift the champion in the air, but ELM brings his weight right back down. He pulls Magnifico back into the ropes, pushing him into the ropes and springing him off to break the hold…but before Spike breaks the hold, ELM grabs his hair and pulls him back into the side headlock!

 

“El Luchadore Magnifico with a handful of hair there!” shouts Pete.

 

“What match are you watching?” mocks King, “I did not see any hair pulling going on in that ring.”

 

“Don’t even try to pull that one over me.”

 

ELM drops to his knees and flips Spike forward onto his back with a headlock takedown…that Spike immediately counters by pulling ELM down onto his back with a head scissors! Magnifico quickly kicks out of it and both men get to their feet…and ELM takes Spike over with another side headlock takedown…that gets countered with another head scissors! Both jump to their feet, but this time, Spike grabs the side headlock and takes ELM over with the takedown…and this time, ELM counters out with the head scissors! Instead of kicking out of the hold, Spike turns over sideways and stands up, still with his head trapped in between of Magnifico’s legs. Jenkins leans on his head, doing a handstand while locked in the hold…and jumps out of the handstand and out of Magnifico’s legs and lands on his feet! Before ELM can do anything, Spike jumps into the air and connects with a dropkick right to the forehead of the champion! ELM quickly rolls out from underneath the bottom rope and out to the ring floor!

 

“What a dropkick by Jenkins!” shouts Pete, “Reversal after reversal from the two competitors and Spike gets the advantage!”

 

“Advantage? That was a cheap shot!”

 

ELM walks around the ringside area, holding his head as he tries to catch his breath. Spike quickly jumps out of the ring, comes up behind ELM, grabs him from behind and rolls him back into the ring!

 

“Spike knows that he can’t win the World Heavyweight Title on the outside of the ring. So he rolls the champion back in.”

 

Spike slides back into the ring, looking for either a cover or to stay on the attack…but Magnifico jumps at the opportunity as he drops a sledge to the back of the head! ELM climbs to his feet and kicks Spike in the back of the head, sending a jolt throughout the challengers’ body. Spike rolls into the corner and begins to climb to his feet, but ELM meets him with a kick to the gut that knocks the challenger back down into a sitting position. Magnifico puts his boot up against the throat of Jenkins and with all his might begins pushing in the challengers’ throat! Kivell break it up, but realizes ELM will not without the count.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

 

FIV--- And ELM moves his foot from the challengers’ throat.

 

“What a dastardly display of attitude!” shouts Pete.

 

“Pete, you may not agree with the way El Luchadore Magnifico controls that ring, but he gets the job done.”

 

Mags looks down at his opponent, who tries to pull himself up to his feet. Laughing at the challenger, ELM pulls back…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…And spits on Spike Jenkins!

 

“How disgraceful!”

 

“Okay, now THAT was funny!”

 

The Japanese crowd buzzes as ELM grabs Spike by the wrist and Irish whips him across the ring to the opposite corner…but Spike reverses it and sends ELM into the opposite corner! ELM charges into the corner, before making contact with the turnbuckles, ELM grabs the top rope and springboards into the air…over the incoming Jenkins right behind him! ELM lands on his feet behind the challenger and rolls forward towards the corner they were just standing in. Spike charges behind him, not wanting ELM to get away from him as the champion leaps up onto the middle ropes. ELM jumps backwards; looking for a springboard elbow out of the corner…but only gets caught in a rear waist lock! Spike bucks his hips and lifts ELM straight into the air…and throws him backwards with a release German suplex that causes ELM to land right on his face!

 

“German suplex to the champion!” shouts Pete.

 

Spike instantly turns ELM over onto his back and covers him for the three!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

THR---NO! ELM kicks out!

 

“Spike Jenkins saw that springboard coming and dumped El Luchadore Magnifico right on his head!”

 

“Spike getting the rear waist lock and dropping ELM on his head! That should be illegal!”

 

“It’s not illegal, King; and if ELM makes that mistake again, I can tell you this match is over!”

 

Spike climbs to his feet, pulling ELM up with him. He grabs a front face lock on the champion, tucking his head under his arm for a suplex. Spike slams his foot on the mat and flips ELM over with a snap suplex! He floats over, driving his elbow into the face of the champion as he makes the cover!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TW---No! Mags kicks out at two!

 

“Magnifico winning the World Heavyweight Title over one month ago at Genesis VI against the now, once again retired, Danny Williams!”

 

“ELM set Danny packing back to Rib Town, USA! HA!”

 

“…That really wasn’t that funny…”

 

Spike climbs to his feet and again, pulls ELM up with him. Spike wields back and slams his forearm into the chest of Mags with a European Uppercut. He pulls back his arm and slams his open palm into the forehead of the champion with a shotei! ELM stumbles back into a corner, where Spike grabs him by the wrist and Irish whips him across the ring…only for ELM to reverse it and send Spike charging into the opposite corner! Magnifico takes a second to catch his breath and charges in towards Spike…who meets him with a big boot to the face! Mags stumbles out of the corner as Spike charges out of it, grabbing ELM by the face and pushing him back as he sweeps his legs out from underneath him with an STO! Magnifico immediately rolls out of the ring as Spike gets to his feet!

 

“STO by the challenger!” shouts Pete, “Spike taking control of this match once again and hitting big time moves one right after the other!”

 

Mags retreats to the outside, trying to catch his breath as he holds his aching limbs. He walks around the smoke filled ringside area, trying to figure out what to do next. He turns back towards the ring, ready to continue the match…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…When Spike Jenkins dives through the middle and top rope out onto ELM with a Suicide Dive!!!

 

“Suicide Dive by the challenger!”

 

“I really wish Spike Jenkins would commit suicide!” says a ticked off Suicide King.

 

“Spike Jenkins showing off HIS lucha libre skills!”

 

“Oh, shut up!”

 

Both men lay on the floor for a few seconds, trying to shake the cobwebs out. Kivell begins to start his count out!

 

ONE!

 

 

TWO!

 

 

THREE!

 

 

Jenkins pushes himself up to his feet and stumbles towards the ring.

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

FIVE!

 

 

Not wanting the same thing to happen with Ghost Machine, Spike rolls back into the ring underneath the bottom rope. ELM climbs to his feet and stumbles towards the ring as well. He pulls himself up onto the ring apron, as Spike gets to a standing position. Spike grabs a front face lock over the top rope and traps the arm, planning on suplex ELM over the top rope back into the ring! Spike bucks his hips and lifts ELM up…but ELM fights it off and blocks it! Spike tries it again, lifting ELM off the apron…but ELM again blocks it! Magnifico slams a right hand into the rib cage…and a second that causes Spike to break his hold. ELM grabs Spike around the head…and drops down, driving his throat across the top rope! Spike falls to one knee, clutching his throat, as ELM laughs on the outside of the ring.

 

“Did you see that, King! That was uncalled for!”

 

“What? El Luchadore Magnifico saw an opportunity and he took it! Nothing wrong with that.”

 

“Our World Champion just dropped Spike throat first across the top rope and now looks to continue his attack!”

 

ELM climbs up onto the ring apron, pulling Spike in between the middle and top rope. Mags turns him over so he is now standing backwards with half his body outside the ring. ELM grabs him around the neck for a neck breaker…and drops down, driving the back of Jenkins’ neck across the middle rope with a neck breaker! Spike cries out in pain as he holds the back of his neck.

 

“Neck breaker over the second rope that just adds that much more pressure on the neck!” laughs King, “That is why El Luchadore Magnifico is our World Champion!”

 

“Because he cheats?”

 

“Because he knows how to use the ring to his advantage!”

 

ELM climbs up to the ring apron, grabbing the top rope, and slingshotting himself over the top rope and driving an elbow into the back of Spike’s head! Spike winces as ELM turns him over for the cover!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH---NO! Spike gets a foot on the rope!

 

“Spike was just a little too close to the ring ropes,” says Pete.

 

Magnifico gets to his feet, a little ticked off, but still remaining his cool. Jenkins rolls over onto his hands and knees and crawls towards the champion, who cockily kicks at his opponent. ELM looks around at the Japanese crowd and smiles…as he blows a snot rocket right onto Jenkins!

 

“Sometimes, I just want to punch Magnifico right in the face!”

 

“Hahaha!” laughs King, “Spike Jenkins gets NO respect!”

 

ELM brings Spike up to his feet and locks in a front face lock. He tucks the arm and looks to bring Spike over with a suplex. Magnifico bucks his hips, trying to pull Jenkins over, but Spike blocks it. ELM slaps him across the ribs and tries again, bucking his hips…but nothing. ELM slaps him across the ribs again and once more, tries the suplex. He bucks his hips, but Spike sandbags to stay on the ground. Magnifico lifts his knee up, looking to drive it into the forehead of Jenkins…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Who catches it! ELM realizes he is in trouble as Spike changes his footing around and bucks his hips, lifting the champion off the mat and flipping him over with a fishermen’s suplex! Spike holds the bridge for the count!

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR---NO! El Luchadore Magnifico breaks the bridge and the count!

 

“Close call there for the champion,” says Pete, “Spike countering that suplex attempt with his own fishermen suplex for the close two count!”

 

Spike moves his way up to his feet and into the corner. He points at the turnbuckles as he steps out onto the ring apron and begins to make his way to the top rope!

 

“Spike Jenkins looking for a high risk maneuver here!” shouts Pete.

 

As Spike gets to the top rope, El Luchadore Magnifico gets to his feet and charges at his opponent, smashing him in the side of the head with a forearm, followed by two more forearms. Spike nearly falls off the top rope into the ring, allowing ELM the opportunity to grab a front face lock and pull Jenkins towards the ring, with his feet still hung over the top rope. ELM looks around at the crowd and then drops down, driving Spike head first into the mat with a DDT!

 

“A DDT off the top rope!” cries Pete, “This has to be the end of the match!”

 

“Oh, it’s over, Pete. It is ALL over.”

 

Spike bounces off the mat as he comes crumbling down. ELM climbs to his feet, grabs Spike by the wrist and drags him away from the ring ropes, so not to let Spike get the ropes for a second time. He laughs as he drives his forearm over the face of Jenkins and cockily covers the fallen challenger.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE---NO! SPIKE KICKS OUT!

 

“How did Spike kick out of that?”

 

ELM looks angrily towards Kivell. He drapes his body over Jenkins again, this time hooking the leg.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THR---NO! Spike kicks out again!

 

“Magnifico seems to be getting frustrated at his attempts to keep Jenkins down,” notes Pete.

 

ELM climbs to his feet, looking around as if thinking what to do while catching his breath. Jenkins rolls over onto his stomach and starts to get to his feet. ELM grins as he pulls Spike up to his feet…but Spike pushes Magnifico back! Mags stumbles back and receives a knife-edge chop that stuns him for a moment. ELM responds with a knife-edge chop of his own…that Spike simply ignores. Spike wields back and another knife-edge chop that knocks ELM down to one knee! Mags gets to a full stance and responds with a knife-edge chop…that Spike no-sells again! Spike leans back and sends another vicious knife-edge chop to Magnifico’s chest and ELM turns away and falls to one knee, holding his chest in pain. ELM mutters some words, obviously in Spanish, as he gets to his feet and wields back for another chest-ripping chop…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But instead simply rakes Spike in the eyes!

 

“A blatant rake to the eyes! Come on!”

 

Spike grabs at his face as ELM grabs him around the neck, spins him around and drops down, driving his opponent down with a neck breaker! Spike convulses as he holds his neck. ELM simply floats over and covers him!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE---NO! SPIKE KICKS OUT!

 

“The challenger is in a lot of trouble as El Luchadore Magnifico takes control once more.”

 

Mags climbs up to his feet, looking down at his opponent. Spike rolls over onto his stomach and reaches for the ropes. Fans in the front row hold their arms out to help him, but it’s no use. ELM sees this and comes up to the side of Jenkins. He pushes his arm to the mat and STOMPS on his hand! He walks away laughing as Jenkins rolls around holding his hand in pain.

 

“Now was that really necessary?” asks Pete, “Did he really have to do that?”

 

“What do you expect?” retorts King, “El Luchadore Magnfiico to go EASY on Jenkins?”

 

Spike climbs up to his knees, shaking his hand and moving his fingers to make sure nothing is broken. ELM comes up from behind, grabbing him by his hair and flipping him forward onto his ass with a snapmare! ELM drops down, driving the knee into the upper back, causing Spike to shout out in agony! Magnifico quickly wraps his arms around the neck of Jenkins and pulls back with a chin lock, taking his time as he keeps the Hollywood Superstar on the mat.

 

“Magnifico with a chin lock on Jenkins,” Pete begins, “ELM has been working over the neck the whole match.”

 

Magnifico wrenches on the neck. Jenkins claws at the arms of the champion, trying to pull him off.

 

“Throughout the whole match, El Luchadore Magnifico has done nothing but show Spike Jenkins no respect!” cries Pete.

 

“Maybe…because he doesn’t respect him?” chuckles King, “We all know that Magnifico only went through with this match is because he wants to make an example out of Jenkins!”

 

“Make an example out of a man who has nearly beaten up on more than one occasion tonight?”

 

“Getting a one count isn’t nearly beating him. That’s called getting lucky…which Spike Jenkins is running out on right now.”

 

“If that is true, so far tonight, Jenkins has had lady luck at ringside with him!”

 

Jenkins finds the strength to turn over to his side and begins to climb up to his feet. ELM pulls back on the neck, but Spike finally gets to full stance. He pulls back and drives an elbow into the gut of Magnifico! He pulls back and hits a second elbow to the gut, stunning the champion! He pulls back and hits a third elbow, breaking the hold the champion has over him! Spike charges into the ropes to start a new attack…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But is shot back down to the ground by a handful of hair from Magnifico!

 

“Oh, come on!” shouts Pete, “What was that?”

 

“That was called taking advantage of your opponent when he has his back turned.”

 

Spike holds the back of his neck as he begins to roll over towards the ropes. ELM stalks his opponent, who pulls himself to his feet using the ropes. He grabs Spike by the wrist and Irish whips him across the ring. Spike hits the ropes…and wraps his arms around the top rope to stop him from ricocheting back towards his opponent. ELM angrily charges at Jenkins…who ducks down and backdrops Magnifico over the top rope!

 

 

 

 

But ELM lands on his feet on the apron! Spike turns around and to his surprise, he is grabbed around the neck by Magnifico, who drops down, driving his opponents throat across the top rope!

 

“Magnifico snaps Jenkins neck across the top rope for a second time this match!”

 

ELM climbs back to the ring apron, grabs the top rope, and slingshots himself back into the ring. He turns sideways and slams his leg down across the throat of Jenkins with a leg drop!

 

“Slingshot leg drop by the champion after crushing his opponents throat across the top rope!”

 

Magnifico covers Jenkins, hoping to finally end the match.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE---NO! Jenkins gets a foot on the rope!

 

“Spike kicking out just before the three count!” says King, “Magnifico just hasn’t decided to put Jenkins out of his misery yet!”

 

“Either that, or Spike has a lot more heart and determination than we first thought!”

 

ELM gets to his feet, pointing at Kivell and angrily telling him it was a three count. Jenkins turns over onto his stomach and tries to push himself to his feet. Magnifico grabs Spike by the hair, obviously frustrated as he begins to pull him up. Mags begins to pull Spike up…but Jenkins pushes him away and falls to one knee! Magnifico grabs Spike by the hair again…but Jenkins pushes him away again! ELM goes to grab him once more…and again Spike pushes him away. Jenkins shoots up to his feet and leaps into the air, connecting with a kick to the back of Magnifico’s head that rocks the champion back!

 

“Standing enziguri out of nowhere!” shouts Pete.

 

ELM backs away, startled by the shot. Before he realizes what has happened, Spike is back on his feet and charges at him…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND CONNECTS WITH A YOU-MAY-BE-AN-ASSHOLE-BUT-THIS-IS-A-GOD-DAMN-WORLD-TITLE-WINNING-LARIAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MAGNIFICO FLIPS INSIDE OUT AND JENKINS FALLS TO THE MAT!

 

“LARIAT!”

 

“NO!” shouts King.

 

“If Danny Williams would of hit his lariat at Genesis, El Luchadore Magnifico would not be the SWF World Heavyweight Champion! Could this be it?”

 

The Japanese crowd applauds as Jenkins begins to crawl over to his opponent. Still dazed and winded, Jenkins places his arm over the chest of the almost-legally dead Magnifico!

 

 

ONE!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREEEEENOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! ELM GETS A SHOULDER UP!!

 

“Magnifico kicked out of the Lariat!” shouts Pete, “Spike Jenkins has used that move to defeat many men.”

 

“But El Luchadore Magnifico is not like every other man! He is a champion!”

 

Jenkins pulls himself to his feet, looks around the crowd and lets out a warrior-esque cry. He grabs Magnifico by the hair and rips him from the ground up to his feet. He scoops the champion up into the air and slams his down into the middle of the ring with a body slam! Spike points towards the corner, sending a surge of energy through the crowd. He walks towards the corner, steps out onto the ring apron and begins to make his way to the top rope!

 

“Spike Jenkins is going back up top for another high risk maneuver!”

 

“The last time he went to the top rope, ELM dropped him on his head!”

 

“But I don’t think ELM is going to get up this time!”

 

Spike gets to the top rope and looks down at his opponent. Magnifico still remains in the same spot, his eyes glued over after being hit with the lariat. Spike sees this as the perfect opportunity to end the match. He leaps off the top rope high into the air, pumping his arms and legs in and out…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…And comes crashing down on top of Magnifico’s chest with the Frog Splash!!!!

 

“Ratings Grabber by Jenkins! His old SJL finisher!”

 

Spike nearly bounces off the champion due to the impact. He clutches at his chest, but more importantly, goes for the cover! He hooks the leg as Matthew Kivell dives to the mat to make the three count!

 

 

ONE!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREENOOOOOOOOOO!!!! EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO GETS A SHOULDER UP!!!!

 

“The Ratings Grabber only got a two count!”

 

“I told you, Pete! Spike is not going to be able to pin Magnifico in the middle of that ring; One…Two…Three…NOOOOOO!” cries King.

 

Back in the ring, as soon as ELM got his shoulder up, Spike used the momentum to pull his opponent over on to his stomach. Spike wraps the arm around his neck and reaches to lock his fingers around Magnifico’s face with the Strong Island Stretch!

 

“Jenkins immediately goes for the Strong Island Stretch in the middle of the ring!”

 

Out of pure instinct, ELM gets to his knees and tries to break the hold…that he does! He grabs Spikes’ arm and pushes him to the mat! He traps the arm in between his legs, as if going for a Crossface…

 

 

 

 

…But instead, reaches around his opponents face and grabs a fishhook! ELM pulls back on the mouth of Jenkins, ripping at his face with the illegal submission!

 

“Magnifico is fish hooking Jenkins! This is illegal! How desperate can he be?”

 

Spike screams in pain as he tries to break free, but there is no way out. Referee Matthew Kivell jumps in Magnifico’s face and threatens to disqualify him. But ELM won’t let go until the count is being made.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

FOUR!

 

 

 

FIV…And ELM breaks the hold! He climbs to his feet and again, laughs at Jenkins who rolls around in pain.

 

“Magnifico has gone out of his way in this match to make Spike Jenkins look like an incompetent fool!”

 

“ELM doesn’t really need to try that hard to make Spike look like a fool…”

 

Magnifico stalks his opponent, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him up to his feet. He goes behind Jenkins and signals for the La Bomba Fantastica!

 

“El Luchadore Magnifico signaling for the La Bomba Fantastica! His Blue Thunder Driver that is a devastating maneuver!”

 

“Once he hits this, it will be all over! Mark my words!”

 

Mags grabs Spike with a rear waist lock and tucks his head underneath the challengers arm. He lifts Spike into the air for the backdrop…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But Jenkins uses his own momentum to flip straight over the champion and land on his feet! Taken by surprise, ELM goes to turn around, but it is too late! Spike grabs him by the arm and forces him face first to the mat for an arm bar…that he then transitions into the Strong Island Stretch!

 

“Strong Island Stretch is locked in dead center of the ring!”

 

Magnifico screams in pain as he tries to move his body around towards the ropes. He keeps his free hand stretched out as he reaches for the ropes, but there is no use. He isn’t going anywhere. Spike tears back at his neck, trying to win the one thing everyone in this company is after.

 

“How much longer can El Luchadore Magnifico last in the Strong Island Stretch?” asks Pete, “Sooner or later, he is going to have to give up! He can’t reach the ropes!”

 

Both Longdogger Pete and The Suicide King stare wide-eyed at the two competitors in the ring, as does the now clapping Japanese crowd. Matthew Kivell stays on top of things, asking of Magnifico gives up, but the champion does nothing but scream out “NOOOO!” The only logical thing to do would be to tap out. But El Luchadore Magnifico refuses to do that…and he is an asshole.

 

 

Spike starts screaming in pain as Magnifico breaks the hold the only way he can. He bites at the hand of Jenkins! ELM takes a pit bull size bite out of Spike’s hand, forcing the New Straight Edge Sensation to break his hold! ELM rolls away into the middle of the ring, clutching his neck. Jenkins climbs to his knees and yells at Kivell to do something about it, but not much can be done now.

 

“Brilliant escape by El Luchadore Magnifico!” applauds King, “A modern day McGuiver!”

 

“Are you serious? He BIT Spike Jenkins’ hand! He has done everything in his power to illegally attack Jenkins! Hair pulling, spitting, fish hooking, BITING!”

 

Spike gets to his feet and stands in the corner, waiting for the arising Magnifico. Spike stomps his foot on the ground, signaling for the Last Dance!

 

“The Last Dance superkick is on its way!”

 

Magnifico gets to his feet and stumbles around. He turns towards the corner Jenkins as in…and Spike charges out. He shoots his leg up into the air, aiming for the jaw of the champion…

 

 

 

 

…But Magnifico catches Spikes’ foot! Spike hops around on one foot before ELM spins him around. Grabbing a rear waist lock and tucking his head underneath Spikes’ arm, he lifts Jenkins into the air for a backdrop suplex and spins him around into a sit out powerbomb!

 

“La Bomba Fantastica by ELM!”

 

“Say goodnight to your so-called destiny, Spikey!”

 

ELM stays in the sit out position as Matthew Kivell dives to the mat to make the count!

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE---NOOOO! SPIKE GETS A SHOULDER UP!

 

“Spike Jenkins kicked out of the La Bomba Fantastica! How is El Luchadore Magnifico going to keep this underdog down?”

 

“Simple, Pete! The Baja California Crusher!”

 

ELM rolls Spike over onto his stomach and climbs up to his feet. He stomps his foot on the ground and yells at Kivell, obviously angry that he hasn’t put Jenkins away yet. He turns back to his fallen opponent, trying to figure out what to do next. The first thing that comes to his mind puts a small grin on his face, however, as he signals for the end.

 

“Here it comes, Pete! The Baja California Crusher!”

 

Mags reaches down, peeling Jenkins off the mat by his hair. He pulls the cruiserweight into the center of the ring, giving him a cocky smack across the face as he scoops him up for his other finishing maneuver, Dia de los Muertos!

 

“Even better than the Baja California Crusher! The Halloween head-droppy thingy!”

 

“The Dia de los Muertos?”

 

“Yeah, that thing.”

 

Magnifico scoops Jenkins up into the air, turning him upside down to drop him on his head with the sit out tombstone…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But the momentum is too fast as Jenkins falls behind ELM! Jenkins lands on his feet and pushes Magnifico away from him! ELM turns around, not ready to give up his advantage yet…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND GETS CAUGHT RIGHT IN THE CHIN WITH A SUPERKICK!!!

 

 

 

“The Last Dance by Jenkins! The Superkick that just ROCKED the Champion!” shouts Pete.

 

 

Magnifico stumbles back, stunned by the blow. Jenkins sees the opportunity to end the match and goes for it. He charges at Mags, kicking him quickly in the gut. The blow doubles the champion over. Spike pulls ELM into a standing head scissors. By now, everyone knows what is coming. Jenkins doesn’t even need to signal for it.

 

“If he hits this, we have a new World Champion!” cries Pete.

 

“No! He can’t! This can’t be happening!”

 

Spike lifts ELM straight up into the air, holding him upside down, as if for a piledriver. But instead of a piledriver, Spike uses his legs to trap ELM’s arms back. Spike jumps forward…

 

 

 

 

 

…AND DRIVES ELM FACE FIRST INTO THE MAT WITH THE RATINGS CRASH!!!!!

 

 

“RATINGS CRASH! SPIKE JENKINS HIT THE RATINGS CRASH!”

 

“NOOOOOO!”

 

Spike rolls over into a sitting position, rolling ELM over as well for the cover! Kivell jumps into the air and onto the mat with excitement as the whole arena is buzzing!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

“NEW WORLD CHAMPION!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO GETS A SHOULDER UP AT THE LAST SECOND!!!! EL LUCHADORE MAGNIFICO KICKED OUT OF THE RATINGS CRASH!!!

 

“I CAN’T believe ELM kicked out of the Ratings Crash!”

 

The whole arena is buzzing as Jenkins looks at Kivell in disbelief. ELM rolls out of the hold, looking completely dazed as he crawls towards the ropes. Jenkins climbs to his knees and just kneels in the middle of the ring, catching his breath and thinking of what to do next.

 

“Magnifico kicked out of the Ratings Crash! The move Spike Jenkins has used to defeat countless opponents! His finishing maneuver was not enough to keep the World Heavyweight Champion down for a three count!”

 

“I told you, Pete! Magnifico is not human! He is more than human! That is why he is the champion!”

 

“But does he have anything left to fight back after getting hit with the Ratings Crash?”

 

Spike gets to his feet, watching as Magnifico struggles up, even while using the ropes. Jenkins tears off his elbow pad, thinking another lariat should do the trick and end the match. He waits for ELM to turn around…

 

 

 

 

 

…ELM finally turns around…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Spike charges at him…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…AND HITS ANOTHER LARIAT!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magnifico ducks the lariat, just like he ducked three of Danny Williams Axe Bombers at Genesis!

 

 

 

 

And just like at Genesis, Magnifico reaches up and hooking Spike’s arm in mid-dodge, before reaching back and hooking Jenkins’ other arm from behind him! With Spike in a backslide-esque position, Magnifico runs towards the corner right in front of him. He leaps up onto the middle rope and goes for the top rope…

 

“The Baja California Crusher! The same way he defeated Danny Williams at Genesis!” cries King.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But Jenkins pulls him away! Jenkins pulled Magnifico off the ropes before he can hit the top rope and complete the Baja California Crusher! The crowd is taken back, as is ELM, as Spike tries to struggle out of the backslide. Magnifico refuses to let go, though, and drags Spike back into the corner!

 

“It’s come down to a power struggle between Jenkins and Magnifico over the Baja California Crusher!” says Pete, “Before the match started, on the tale of the tape, the Power Advantage went to a Push! There is no clear cut winner here!”

 

“All Magnifico has to do it get to the corner and the match will be over! He just has to hit the Baja California Crusher and Spike will NOT get up!”

 

Magnifico runs up the middle rope again…and again Spike pulls him away from the corner before he can make it to the top rope! The crowd applauds the battle between these two competitors. Jenkins tears away, trying to get his arms free, but Magnifico knows his title is on the line! Magnifico tries for a third time to drag Jenkins into the corner…

 

 

 

 

 

…And he does it!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Spike doesn’t pull ELM away from the corner!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But ELM doesn’t climb up the ropes either!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Instead, Jenkins let all his weight go with Magnifico’s momentum and caused ELM to run straight into the turnbuckles! The two hundred and twenty pound challenger comes crashing in behind ELM, sandwiching him with the corner!

 

“Spike countered the Baja California Crusher by using El Luchadore Magnifico’s own momentum!”

 

“Oh, come on!”

 

Spike is finally able to free his arms as he pulls out of the corner. Behind him, Magnifico stumbles out backwards, feeling the affects of the Ratings Grabber, Ratings Crash, and having the wind knocked out of him by Jenkins with the help of the turnbuckles. Spike turns around, catching ELM as he walks into him. He wraps his arm around ELM’s neck and pulls him into a reverse front face lock. Spike spins around, taking ELM over with him and driving the champion to the mat with the Clean Living!

 

“The swinging neck breaker from the reverse DDT position! The Clean Living! It has to be over!”

 

It might be over, but Jenkins wants to make sure. Still holding onto the head of Magnifico, Spike rolls over to his side and onto the back of ELM, pulling him up by his neck into the dragon clutch!

 

“The Silver Lining! Spike Jenkins has his submission finisher locked in!”

 

“But he is close to the ropes! All ELM has to do is turn his body a little bit and grab the ropes!”

 

ELM screams out in pain as Spike tears back with the dragon clutch. The arena is buzzing again, as Matthew Kivell jumps right into place and asks if ELM gives up. Magnifico screams out “No!” followed by some curse words in Spanish. He uses his free arm to turn his body over towards the ropes. Jenkins rips back, trying to stop him, but it is no use. ELM positions his body near the ropes! He reaches for it…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…He almost has it…

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Only a little bit more closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…The SWF World Heavyweight Title depends on this…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Magnifico is able to stand up on his knees, getting Spike off his back as he gets closer to the ropes…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…Closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…HE GOT THE ROPES!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…But Spike wraps his legs around the waist of ELM and falls onto his back, taking Magnifico over with him in the Dragon Sleeper!

 

 

“The Dragon Sleeper with the body scissors! Todd Cortez uses this move, calling it the Street Dreams! He used it to beat El Luchadore Magnifico on Smarkdown in that six man tag match!”

 

“REACH FOR THE ROPES, MAGS! This isn’t a tag team match! This is for the World Heavyweight Title!”

 

Magnifico squirms around, trying to do anything to get out of the hold, but Jenkins keeps it intact as he tears at the neck. ELM reaches for the ropes, but he is now nowhere near them. The only logical thing to do would be to tap out.

 

 

 

 

 

But El Luchadore Magnifico is an asshole.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But even the asshole knows when he is beat.

 

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

“MAGNIFICO TAPPED OUT! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! WE HAVE A NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!” cries Pete from the announcers’ table!

 

Jenkins lets go of the hold, allowing ELM to roll away in defeat. Lying breathless, Matthew Kivell brings him the prize, the SWF World Heavyweight Championship. The crowd is on their feet, applauding the underdog for doing what nobody thought was possible. He lies there, Kivell standing over him with the title, just listening to the announcement.

 

“YOUR WINNER AND NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SWF HEAVYYYYYYWEIGHHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTT CHAMMMMMPPPPPIOOOOOOOOOOOOON OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLLLLLLDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! “HOLLYWOOD” SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNKINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

!!!!!”

 

Spike rolls over onto his stomach and then onto his knees as he is handed the title belt. Clutching it close to his chest, he looks around the Tokyo Dome in disbelief. After all the struggle he went through, the losing streak, dealing with the mind games of El Luchadore Magnifico, and the final battle with the champion; Spike Jenkins has finally done it.

 

“Fans, after three long years in the SWF, Spike Jenkins has finally made it to the top of the mountain! He is finally the World Heavyweight Champion!”

 

“I am sickened by this!” cries King.

 

“Oh, Shut up!” says Pete, who applauds Jenkins.

 

Spike stands up, his legs all wobbly and his body fatigued. He walks to the corner, climbs to the middle rope, and holds the SWF World Heavyweight Title up high. In the background, the large Ashes 2 Ashes logo still burns with intensity.

 

“Fans, this has been a long night with much to remember. The Ashes 2 Ashes match, the ladder match for the SWF World Tag Team Titles, and now, the crowning of a NEW SWF World Heavyweight Champion! This is Longdogger Pete, with the Suicide King…”

 

“I really think I’m going to be sick!”

 

“Signing off from Ashes 2 Ashes 2005!”

 

Spike still stands with the World Title raised above his head. Behind him, the Ashes 2 Ashes logo shines bright from the stage. It set ablaze when the Pay Per View started and now…

 

 

 

 

 

…It goes out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It really is destiny.

 

 

 

=========================

 

SWF Ashes 2 Ashes, 11/07/2005

A Riot Act Production

”Raising Workrate by Typing Faster”

 

=========================

[Bruce Blank 0]

hm - best match I've ever written, most brutal as well. a match that takes extremely good advantage of the stipulations all

 

and I wrote it kinda in the style of horror movies such as "Friday the 13th" with Janus cast in the Jason part naturally

 

11408 words of lossitude - bummer

 

but this loser would love some feedback

----------------

Longdogger Pete and the Suicide King gets some face time as they get ready for the next match, a match that will probably be the most graphic and brutal match of the night.

 

“Ladies and gentlemen a few weeks ago Bruce Blank threw down a challenge to a most unusual and brutal match, he threw down the “Dust 2 Dust challenge” to anyone in the SWF” Pete starts out by explaining to the people at home.

 

“Yeah but I will bet you anything that he wasn’t expecting a retired legend to take the challenge. He was probably hoping for an easier match than against the Hell Machine himself” King says while rubbing his hands in anticipation of the match.

 

“Honestly fans, I don’t know what to expect from this match – it’s not for the faint of heart I can tell you all that much” Pete warns everyone.

 

“Just the way I like it Pete!! We now take you “LIVE” (on tape delay) to the cemetery of “Parts Unknown” back in the good old USA for the Dust 2 Dust challenge.” King says while doing the “spooky fingers” at the camera.

 

The picture quickly fades from King & Pete at ringside to an outside shot of a cemetery where the sun set in the horizon some time ago leaving only the faintest hints of sunlight behind. An aerial shot of the cemetery reveals the vastness of the stonewall enclosed area, and somewhere inside that area are Bruce Blank and Terrance “Janus” Bailey. The feed switches to a camera on the ground inside the cemetery, it’s silent, all that’s heard is the rustling of the dead leaves in the wind and the howl of a wolf in the distance – or at least the camera guy HOPES it’s a wolf.

 

After a few seconds of panning over the tombstones and memorials and mausoleums the cameraman focuses on a figure in a long dark oil skin coat, wearing a worn cowboy hat and banging what looks like a crowbar against a tombstone.

 

*TWACK*

 

*TWACK*

 

*TWACK*

 

“I wonder if Bruce is trying to draw Janus out” Pete speculates

 

“No he’s using Morse code to order dinner – Sjesh!” is all King can say.

 

Bruce begins to pace back and forth, the faint light from the moon revealing his heavily taped up hands jutting out from the long coat, his blood soaked jeans looking even creepier than normal in the silvery light of the moon as Bruce starts to get impatient.

 

Then the camera picks up a faint whisper, almost as if it’s the wind itself is heard

 

"Consumed with memories...”

 

Bruce stops in his tracks, silently he waits and listens trying to see if he can hear Janus anywhere in the vicinity.

 

”That preceded today...”

 

Again a ghostly voice whispers in a voice so low that it’s almost inaudible. Bruce’s knuckles crack and pop as he gets an even harder grip on the crowbar in his hand.

 

“Given a chance to bereave...”

 

Fog slowly starts to drift in from the northern part of the cemetery, the wind occasionally whistling around the corners of the church near by.

 

“Life that's slipping AWAAAAY!"

 

The faint ghost-like whispering is followed by the chiming of the church bell

 

*BONG!*

 

A sound that surprise Bruce so much that he whips around 180 and looks at the church with the crowbar raised. Bruce’s jaw drops and his eyes widen as he sees a shadowy figure walk towards him in a calm calculated manner, the light of the moon drawing a long, creepy shadow on the ground as the figure walks through the mist.

 

*OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUHH!*

 

A wolf howls, this time much closer, as if nature was Janus to command as he walked towards Bruce, his white trenchcoat parting the mist around him like a ship’s bow in water. His red and his green eye can be seen lighting up long before the individual features of his face can be made out.

 

Slowly, methodically the Hell Machine walks towards Bruce, each step echoing through the silence as Janus walks up the dirt path from the church to where Bruce is waiting.

 

Each crunch of the gravel seemingly calling out to Bruce, telling him that his doom is here. With each step the shadow elongates and reaches out towards Bruce, stretching like a dark monster trying to ensnare its prey. Even though Bruce tries to put on a brave face the paleness of his skin reveals the truth, his avoidance of Janus’ shadow tells volumes of just how freaked out The Ultra Violent champion is by the towering monster.

 

Janus’ red and green eyes are fixed on Bruce as he gets closer and closer, revealing the three dark red slashes across his chest, the pale white goatee, the sinister expression on his face from behind his long black and white streaked hair.

 

Bruce shifts his weight from one leg to the other, not really wanting to attack but also not prepared to run away either. As Janus is about 10 feet away from his opponent one last whisper is heard, like the faint echo of a thousand voices all saying the same thing.

 

He’s heeeeeeeeeere

 

Janus stops a few feet from Bruce, towering over the 6’7’’ brawler by quite a bit. The right hand is raised, the fingerless gloved hand forms into a fist with the thumb sticking out as Janus slowly, methodically drags it across his throat as he raises his eyebrows. Bruce gulps once as Janus gives Bruce both thumbs down, predicting a vicious and violent end for the Trailerpark Superstar.

 

Even Pete and King are silent on commentary, just watching as the two men face each other, the tension rising, electricity filling the air as the two warriors are face to throat. Like a couple of gun fighters in the old west both men wait for the other to make the first move, playing a mental game of chicken before the first blow has even been struck.

 

Bruce’s right eyelid twitches as the Ultra Violent champion swings at Terrence “Janus” Bailey with the crowbar, bringing it around in a short arch aimed straight at the head of the big man. Bailey raises a massive left arm and blocks the shot by hitting Bruce’s wrist to break the momentum. Janus quickly fires back with a lightning fast, super stiff right hand that catches Bruce right on the bridge of the nose.

 

*POW!!*

 

“The Knuckle Bomb!” King yells out as Janus’ wrecking ball of a right hand comes crashing into Bruce’s face.

 

Bruce staggers backwards a few steps, dropping the crowbar as he brings his hand up to his face where Janus hit him. When Bruce removes his hand from his nose the true impact of the Knuckle Bomb is revealed as Bruce’s nose is busted open on the ridge of the nose and most likely already broken.

 

“Remind me to never piss Janus off!” King exclaims while making a mental note.

 

“If Bruce has a broken nose already he could have a hard time breathing the longer the match goes” Pete points out as Bruce stares at the blood on his hand in disbelief.

 

The Hell Machine launches into an attack on Bruce by grabbing the staggered red neck by the back of the head and then driving his knee straight into Bruce’s chest with vicious force and intent

 

*KLANG!*

 

The impact did not have the desired effect as Bruce seems unaffected by it while Janus hunches over, grabbing his knee in pain from the impact. Bruce just smirks, then he taps his chest with a finger tip to reveal that he’s wearing something metallic under his jacket.

 

“That dirty cheating bastard” Pete says as if it’s news to people.

 

“How can you cheat in a match that has no rules? Come on now Pete!” King fires back at his Dudley Do-right co-commentator.

 

With Janus down on one knee Bruce quickly puts his hand in one of his coat pockets and then brings it back out obviously holding a handful of white powder that he tosses in the face of Terrance “Janus” Bailey, blinding the Hell Machine with either salt or talcum powder.

 

“Why do I even bother complaining?” Pete asks

 

“I don’t know – so stop it or go get me a beer” King fires back.

 

The talcum powder temporarily blinds the big man as he claws at his eyes by instinct. Bruce quickly grabs Janus’ white trench coat by the collar and pulls on it, dragging Janus forward knocking him knees first into a tombstone. Not loosening his grip Bruce tugs on the trench coat once more but instead of pulling Janus forward he rips the material

 

*RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!!*

 

And holds half of the trademark white trench coat in his hands, much to his surprise. The momentary lapse of concentration is all the still half blind Janus needs as he wildly swings at Bruce and knocks the Champion backwards over another tombstone with a stiff forearm smash to the side of the head that hit more out of luck than design. With Bruce down Janus now has the time to use the remains of his trench coat to wipe most of the powder from his eyes, but he’s still blinking and seeing fuzzy when he turns his attention back towards Bruce who’s still on the ground.

 

“That powder didn’t slow him down for very long King!”

 

“I noticed, he’s like a mad man… a monster with a singular purpose” King comments.

 

“Yeah to tear Bruce several new assholes” Pete so rightly concludes.

 

Bruce looks up at his opponent and then begins to back away from him, crawling backwards on his hands and feet, skidding on his ass across the grass. Janus lunges for Bruce but only manages to grab hold of the tail end of Bruce’s long oil skin coat. Bruce’s legs pump at the ground trying to get away from the Hell Machine while Janus has a tight grip on Bruce’s coat and isn’t about to let go.

 

“I’ve never seen Bruce so intimidated before.” Pete points out “I guess he’s used to being the big dog but Janus is an even bigger dog”

 

Bruce tries to escape but Janus has a vice like grip on the coat, not budging an inch. Seeing no other option Bruce unbuttons the top buttons of his coat, causing the protective piece of metal to fall out and then slips the coat off before running into the night away from Janus.

 

“I’ll bet you that Bruce had a lot of weapons stashed in that jacket, he wasn’t giving it up voluntarily as you could clearly see” King says.

 

“It was either keep the jacket or get some distance to Janus – we all know what Bruce chose” Pete replies as the camera crews in the cemetery try to get a good shot of Bruce running away from Janus.

 

Bruce keeps looking over his shoulder to see if Janus is following him or not as he stumbles away from the gravel path and heads towards the small church that’s on the grounds. After a few moments of running Bruce stops and looks without being able to spot Janus anywhere

 

“Where is he?” Pete asks

 

“Don’t worry Janus will pop up, have you never seen a horror movie? Someone thinks they’ve escaped the monster and then WHAMMO” King replies.

 

Bruce hears a crack behind him and quickly spins around expecting to see the Hell Machine coming right at him. He wasn’t expecting to see a horse though, a big black horse strapped to an old fashioned hearse right in front of him.

 

“What the…” is all he utters as he stares at the bizarre anachronism.

 

The big monster sneaks up behind him, coming out of the dark like a bird of prey, silent, focused and without any unnecessary motion as he closes in on his victim. Bruce cannot believe his eyes and has to actually touch the hearse before he can accept that it’s real and not some illusion. The second Bruce runs his fingers over the wagon wheel Janus raises one of his long legs and aims a big boot at the back of Bruce’s head.

 

*KERSSSSH!!*

 

The attack had not been as silent as Janus had hoped for, Bruce had heard the big man rushing at him and ducked out of the path of the boot at the very last minute so that instead of kicking his skull Janus kicked his foot through the glass on the side of the hearse getting his foot stuck in it.

 

“This could be the opening Bruce needs! A veteran like Janus doesn’t make many mistakes, he’s got to make the best of it” King exclaims excitedly as Bruce finally has Janus in a precarious position.

 

“He better not get too cocky or overconfident against Janus cause the big man can turn it around on a dime” Pete warns.

 

Bruce isn’t about to let a golden opportunity pass him by. He gets behind Janus who’s trying to extract his leg from the shattered glass without cutting it to shreds, then he quickly wraps his massive arms around Janus waist and locks his hands together.

 

Bruce’s arms bulge from the strain as he lifts Janus off the ground and drops him backwards with a belly to back suplex that drives the big man’s head and back into the gravel path with a hollow thud, the same sound a roast makes when it falls from a 2nd story window onto the pavement.

 

“I can’t believe he could do that!! Very few people can actually throw Janus around but Bruce is one of them!” Pete says as he feels the need to point out the obvious.

 

“He took the big man down, but he needs to KEEP him down in order to win this match Pete” King admonishes his co-commentator.

 

Bruce’s breath is raspy because the blood flowing from his broken nose obstructs every breath he takes as he goes to the back of the hearse, pulls the door open and then drags out the metal coffin that’s inside it. With the hearse now empty Bruce eyes Janus who’s on his knees trying to shake the effects of the belly to back suplex.

 

“Will he take Janus for a ride? A LAST RIDE?” King quips

 

“Oh spare me” Pete says while rolling his eyes.

 

Janus isn’t allowed to get back to his feet before Bruce is on the offence once again driving his knee into the side of the big man’s face. Then he grabs Janus around the back of the head and hooks his other arm under Janus’ arm, using his position to basically hip toss Janus onto the metal coffin.

 

*THUD!*

 

The sick crunch was either from Janus’ spine or from the coffin that’s knocked over on it’s side and then popped open, laying with the bottom towards the camera.

 

“You don’t… you don’t suppose there is a dead person in that coffin King?” Pete asks

 

“Could very well be” King replies

 

“I can’t watch this – just… tell me what’s in the coffin” Pete says as he closes his eyes.

 

Bruce kicks the coffin back in it’s rightful position and then looks inside the still open coffin. He smiles as he reaches into it and pulls out a barbwire wrapped bat, his expression turns down right demented as he grabs the bat with both hands and readies himself for a Hardcore Home Run.

 

“Oh my god!” King yells out

 

“What’?? what is it? Is there a body in the coffin?” Pete asks with his eyes still closed.

 

“Erm… yeah you keep your eyes closed Pete” King replies

 

Bruce takes a step forward as he swings the barbwire wrapped metal bat at Janus’ skull

 

*CLANG!!*

 

“THE EQUALIZER!! JANUS GOT THE EQUALIZER FROM SOMEWHERE” King yells out as Janus brings the barbwire wrapped black cricket bat up to block the blow from Bruce – both weapons must have been inside the coffin.

 

“The Equalizer?… I almost wish it was a dead body” Pete adds.

 

Bruce is momentarily stunned by the appearance of the Equalizer but soon shakes it off and swings at Janus once more, but once again only hits the Equalizer and not Janus’ body. Bruce fakes another blow and when Janus puts the Equalizer up Bruce swings the bat in a different direction knocking the cricket bat out of Janus’ hand and into the back of the hearse instead. Bruce smirks as he weights the bat still in his hand, but the smirk is quickly wiped off as Janus outstretched fingers slam into Bruce’s throat, temporarily robbing the big man of the power to breathe.

 

Janus quickly climbs inside the hearse to retrieve the bat, but before the Hell Machine can get his hand on the weapon he’s tipped over from the forward motion of the hearse. The outside camera reveals that Bruce has dragged himself onto the drivers seat and then slapped the horse on the ass to get it to move. Gasping for air Bruce isn’t really able to steer the horse, instead he basically holds on and looks around to see if Janus fell off the hearse.

 

“I think I heard a thud when the hearse moved” Pete says “Maybe Janus fell off?”

 

A hand dressed in a black fingerless glove reaches up from below the roof of the hearse and then grabs on showing that Janus was NOT thrown from the hearse by the momentum. Bruce looks back and sees the hand, then he sees Janus other hand as the Hell Machine slowly and methodically drags himself up onto the roof of the moving hearse.

 

Bruce shakes his head in frustration over not being able to shake Janus off or even slow him down. Desperation sets in as Janus’ head starts to rise over the edge of the roof and Bruce decides to gamble big time. He slides down the roof of the moving hearse and plants a foot upside the head of the Hell Machine, knocking his grip off the roof, hitting paydirt on his gamble.

 

After knocking the big man off Bruce just grabs on to one of the ornaments on the roof and breathes a sigh of relief, at least he’ll get a breather, the monster has been knocked off.

 

*Slap!*

 

Bruce opens one eye when he hears the sound of a hand slapping against wood. Then he looks down towards the back of the roof and is shocked to see a hand with a fingerless black glove on it.

 

“Aw crap” Bruce whispers as Janus’ other hand grabs the roof edge once more, always moving forward, unrelenting like a zombie in the hunt for a nice juicy brain. The Ultra Violent Champion slowly rises to his feet, gingerly trying to keep his balance on the roof of the moving hearse. Then as Janus is about to climb onto the roof again Bruce drills his steel tipped cowboy boot into the face of the Hell Machine

 

*CRACK!*

 

The impact takes Bruce off his feet again and he tumbles down into the drivers seat of the hearse where he lays with his eyes closed, gasping for air while holding on to the seat. After a moment or two Bruce begins to laugh, he vanquished the monster, he stopped the unstoppable force – if only for a moment.

 

But as suddenly as his laugh begins it also ends as a huge, strong hand wraps itself around Bruce’s throat. Bruce’s eyes open wide in terror as they look at Janus, on the roof, face bleeding from the ridge of his right brow, bent over Bruce with his hand on his throat.

 

“This is UNREAL! Janus could teach Jason a thing or two” King quips, remembering to actually commentating instead of just sitting there in silent awe of the brutal action on their screen.

 

Janus somehow manages to keep his balance while the hearse moves over the uneven ground towards the small church. The hand around Bruce’s throat tightens and then the 295 pound man is raised into the air by the Hell Machine

 

“CHOKE SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!” Pete cries out as Janus tosses Bruce over the side of the hearse.

 

The Hell Machine uses all his force to lift the big man, choke slamming him off the moving vehicle dropping the big man straight onto the grass sending him tumbling ass over elbow until his body smacks against the heavy wooden door of the church.

 

“I cannot believe they didn’t both break their necks on that move” King says in amazement.

 

“Maybe Bruce did King, it’s hard to tell if he’s moving or not” Pete adds as Janus and the moving hearse goes around the corner of the church tower.

 

Pete is excused for not being able to see that Bruce is moving, it’s almost pitch black dark in the shadow of the church and Bruce is moving very slowly, dragging himself along the ground using his hands only, inching his way closer to the massive oak church door.

 

“God I wish we didn’t have sound on this, Bruce’s gasping breath is so unnerving, it sounds like he could suffocate at any minute” Pete says.

 

“That Knuckle Bomb really took it out of Bruce” King states “Of course if Janus doesn’t return soon Bruce will recover”

 

The bleeding and hurt Bruce crawls towards the church door and finally manages to reach up and pull the brass handle down. Bruce leans all his weight against the door and the massive door swings open, letting the Trailerpark Superstar inside. Once inside the stone confines of the church Bruce pushes the door closed and then jams it with a 7 foot tall cast iron candle holder.

 

“He… he locked Janus out? What a coward” Pete says without fear of Bruce actually hearing it.

 

“If you were chased by a big unstoppable monster you’d want a breather too Pete, don’t act all tough – you ain’t the one fighting Janus after all.” King fires back.

 

Bruce drags himself back to his feet, holding his neck that’s still hurting from being hurled off the top of the hearse, staggering as he slowly walks down the center aisle between rows of pews. He grabs hold of the edge of a carved stone baptismal fond and then uses the water in it to wash some of the blood from his broken nose out of his eyes.

 

“That’s sacrilege!” Pete says like an offended little altar boy.

 

“It’s water – no big deal. It’s not like Bruce peed in it before someone used it” King says, relating a personal story in the middle of the match.

 

Bruce slumps backwards onto one of the pews, still gasping for his breath as he sits there, looking up at the painted vaulted church ceiling, mumbling something under his breath – as if he was actually praying to God.

 

A shadow moving outside the huge, elaborate stain glass window catches Bruce’s attention. He quickly gets to his feet and then stares in disbelief as the shadow flies closer and closer, ducking under a pew to protect himself as the figure comes crashing through the glass

 

*KRESSSSSSSSSSH!!!*

 

Glass shards of all colors of the rainbow fly everywhere as the huge window explodes on impact. Bruce has his hands over the back of his head, ducking and hiding, not daring to move as something heavy thumps onto the stone floor. Bruce lays there for a minute in total and utter silence, whatever broke through the window isn’t moving, nothing is moving.

 

Bruce turns his head and looks towards the now broken window, no movement anywhere. Bruce gets a bit braver and gets back to his feet and slowly moves towards the pile of shattered glass right by the pulpit.

 

“I wonder if Janus injured himself jumping through the glass” Pete speculates, trying to figure out why there is no movement.

 

In the center of the pile of glass, lit up by the moon shining through the hole in the window lies… a stone gargoyle that’s been broken off it’s pedestal somehow. It takes a few moments for Bruce’s eyes to register what he’s seeing before he realizes that its’ NOT Janus. When realization flashes across his face he looks up towards the window and sees a tall dark figure just standing there, waiting for the right time to pounce on his opponent.

 

“A gargoyle? I think that’s a first in wrestling Pete” King says impressed by the deviousness of the Hell Machine.

 

“Actually I think that Harley Race used a Grecco Roman Gargoyle in a match in 1982” Pete replies.

 

With the surprise factor on his side Janus leaps through the hole in the stain glass window and clotheslines Bruce into one of the wooden pews breaking it from the impact of a 320 pound guys flying 8-9 feet through the air. The Hell Machine rises from the broken wood and bibles and looks down on his victim. Then he stares at his right hand, more specifically at the thumb on his right hand which is in a very odd position compared to what a thumb is usually supposed to be able to do.

 

With a grunt Janus snaps the broken thumb back into place not even flinching at the sickening crunch the move makes. The crash into the pews did more than just break Janus’ thumb, as he discovers when he sees blood flowing down his right arm from several splinters lodged into his flesh.

 

“Look at how he’s totally oblivious to the pain, it’s like any other day for him” Pete marvels.

 

“Well maybe it is Pete? I don’t want to speculate on what a normal day for Janus is like, but this could be it” King replies.

 

Janus raises his right arm in the air ready to attack once more, but when the big man bends down over Bruce the wily champion swings a piece of the broken pew at him and clobbers Janus over the head with it.

 

*WHACK!*

 

Janus staggers backwards a step, then shakes it off and raises his right arm once more to attack Bruce, when Janus bends over Bruce the result is once again a blast with a sheet of wood over the top of the head

 

*WHACK!*

 

Janus staggers back 2-3 steps but is far from knocked out, in fact he raises his arm once more to attack Bruce but by now the Trailerpark Superstar is back on his feet and quickly thrusts the jagged edge of the wood into the abdomen of the Hell Machine, drawing blood from numerous small cuts all the way across the well chiseled abdomen.

 

When the blows to the head and the shot to the abdomen doesn’t stop Janus from advancing Bruce shakes his head and backs away from the advancing maniac. Backing up until he’s got his back against a large wooden cross on the altar. Bruce quickly grabs the cross and holds it out in front of himself hoping that it will slow the advancing Janus down.

 

“He’s not a vampire Bruce!” Pete replies mocking the Ultra Violent champions attempts at stopping Janus.

 

“We don’t know WHAT he is Pete!” King responds

 

Janus just stares at the cross for a moment, then he rushes towards Bruce once more, his green eye and his red eye lit up by the moonlight.

 

*CRACK!*

 

Bruce manages to bring the cross down and strike Janus over the neck and shoulder with it, finally knocking the monster down. The cross it dropped on the ground and then Bruce quickly reaches in behind the pulpit and pulls something out from it.

 

”That’s… that’s a roll of barbwire?” King says, surprised to see such an item in a church.

 

“Oh you know he planted it there! Priests do not usually use barbwire for their sermons King” Pete says as his blood pressure rises in indignation to Bruce’s pre-planned cheating.

 

Bruce quickly unravels the end of the barbwire and uses it to tie Janus to the cross at the wrist of his left hand. Then he stretches out Janus’ right hand and places it against the cross and pulls another strand of barbwire loose from the roll.

 

A swift finger to the eye stops Bruce before he can perform an actual crucifixion with Barbwire. The eye poke is quickly followed by Janus driving his fist into Bruce’s face with such force that the big man is knocked back against the wall, slamming the back of his head against the stone wall.

 

“Oh thank god he didn’t get to finish the job” Pete comments fearing for the potential backlash to such a sacrilegious incident.

 

“Who knows maybe Janus IS the next messiah?” King says, instantly setting off a letter writing campaign all across the “Bible belt”

 

With a display of pure power Janus snaps the cross and gets up with barbwire still wrapped around his left wrist with a piece of the wood stuck to it. Janus rises and walks toward Bruce who’s on his hands and knees coughing up blood and spitting out a tooth that the punch to the face knocked out. Bruce looks up just in time to register Janus left arm being swung right at him, barbwire and wood side first as it slams into Bruce’s right shoulder.

 

“I’m… oh god” Pete says all queasy.

 

The Satanic grin on Janus’ face widens as the barbwire digs into Bruce’s skin, drawing blood from each of the razor sharp barbs that pierce the skin of Bruce Blank. A second blow quickly follows the first one, quickly creating a pool of blood on the stone floor around Bruce’s hand.

 

“The Hell Machine is bound and determined to tear Bruce apart inch by inch” King says with equal parts shock and awe.

 

Pete doesn’t say anything as he’s busy NOT looking at the screen.

 

Janus readies himself to strike at Bruce once more but before he can make contact with Bruce’s torn flesh he’s blinded as Bruce spits a blood red mist right in his eyes

 

*FSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHH!!*

 

“That… Bruce’s blood… his saliva” is all King can say to one of the grosses incidents he’s ever seen.

 

“He needs to be locked up and then have the key thrown away” Pete insists, appalled by the entire match.

 

Janus staggers backwards, blinded by the liquid and surprised by Bruce’s “Blood mist”. Having finally gotten a moment to regroup Bruce notices several sharp pointy multicolored glass shards on the ground right next to him. He grabs a few as he unwraps some of the tape around his right hand. Then he places some of the shards over his knuckles and tapes them back up with the sharp tips pointing forward.

 

“He’s no… he CAN’T” Pete laments as Bruce clenches his glass shard covered fist, sneaking up on Janus who’s still trying to wipe the blood and drool from his eyes.

 

Bruce swings at Janus, driving his taped up fist into the jaw of Janus, sending blood spatter and glass slivers flying everywhere as the Hell Machine is knocked onto the cold, unforgiving stone floor. Split seconds after the big man hits the ground he’s pinned down by Bruce’s 295 pounds as the champion strikes at Janus’ forehead – each blow drawing blood, turning Bruce’s white tape a dark crimson red.

 

“King… think of the viewers… we have to cut the feed” Pete pleads.

 

“That’s not my call McDougal besides people knew what to expect from Bruce and Janus” King fires back.

 

Now that Bruce finally has an advantage he makes the most of it by running his glass shard covered fist down Janus’ left bicep drawing blood as the sharp glass punctures the skin in a multitude of places. Bruce cocks his fist back once more and then throws a punch straight at Janus’ head but the Hell Machine has enough presence of mind to move his head so that Bruce misses and punches the stone floor instead.

 

*THUD!*

 

Bruce writhes in pain, both from the fact that he punched a stone and from the glass shards on his fist that are now embedded in his hand. Janus pushes Bruce off him and then slowly sits up, the blood from the many lacerations on his forehead and jaw have colored every strand of white hair on his head a deep dark red and also left it’s gory mark on his chest as the blood drips from his jaw in large, horrifying droplets.

 

“Don’t you dare say “Crimson Mask” Pete or I’ll kick your ass” King admonishes his co-commentator as they look at the chilling image of the two combatants.

 

Bruce is the first to get to his feet, but instead of attacking Janus he decides to stagger down the center aisle of the church, heading for the big door and the outside. Bruce cradles his right hand, trying to remove the shards of glass as he staggers forward, looking for a way out. Every few steps Bruce looks over his shoulder making sure that Janus is still on the floor. When he reaches the door he checks one last time to see if Janus is still down.

 

But he’s not, instead there is a blood outline of where his head and shoulders was just moments ago, but the Hell Machine is nowhere to be seen. With a growing sense of panic Bruce grabs the heavy candle holder he used to block the door and throws it down while he keeps looking around, waiting for Janus to appear from somewhere.

 

“Where are you you bastard??” Bruce yells, but the only reply he gets is his own echo and the sound of a few bats who he disturbed with his yelling.

 

Bruce throws the heavy door open and staggers into the moonlight which, for the first time, really gives the viewers at home an indication of just how brutal Janus was to him in the church. Bruce’s shoulder and right arm is bleeding so profusely that he’s leaving a trail of blood as he walks down the gravel path.

 

“I can’t get over just how much Janus is scaring Bruce” King says “I mean here is a guy that’s not backed down from anyone in the time he’s been in the SWF. He’s had Hardcore title defense after Hardcore title defense – yet tonight he’s running like a scared bunny”

 

“Janus is unlike any current SWF competitor, hell he’s unlike ANY SWF competitor come to think of it” Pete adds as they watch Bruce nervously scouting all around for Janus.

 

In his vigilance Bruce notices that he’s not that far from the large, wrought iron gate that is the only opening in the tall stonewall that surrounds the entire graveyard and church area. Bruce looks at the iron gate, then he looks back at the church where he last saw Janus as if he’s trying to make up his mind about something.

 

Then after a few moments of looking back and forth Bruce makes a “forget this” dismissive motion with his hands and heads towards the wrought iron gates and freedom.

 

“He’s leaving? Bruce is walking away?” Pete says incredulously as the Ultra Violent champion

 

“Maybe he figure it’s better to be a coward and live?” King replies offering a potential explanation for why Bruce appears to abandoning the “Dust 2 Dust” match.

 

Bruce turns and walks straight towards the gate, not looking back once now that he’s decided to just walk away from the match. He reaches out for the handle, puts his hand on it and

 

*ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZA!!*

 

An explosion of sparks emanate from the metal where Bruce touched it and the force of the electric blast knocks Bruce backwards onto his ass.

 

“What the hell?” is all Pete can say as no one was expecting the gate to be electrified.

 

Then an old, demented looking priest leaps out from the bush on the other side and just grins at Bruce like it was the funniest thing he ever saw in his life.

 

“Who is that Pete?” King asks when he sees the crusty, creepy looking old priest.

 

“That must be Father Jack Hackett King, he came with Father Ted to America for this match. I heard he was a bit… nuts” Pete replies

 

“Nuts? He electrified the iron gate, that’s beyond nuts… that’s genius!”

 

Father Hackett just giggles like a mad man as Bruce gets back to his feet while cradling his singed right hand against his skin. Bruce’s agony just increases as Janus appears out of the mist, blood splattered all over his chest and leather pants which just adds to the creepiness.

 

Bruce stands there like a deer caught in a headlight at Janus runs straight towards him with all the speed he can muster. At the last moment Janus ducks down and drives his right shoulder straight into Bruce’s mid-section, lifting the 295 pound side of beef into the air before driving him into the ground just inches from the electrified iron gate.

 

“Janus almost got them both fried with that move, does he have like a death wish or something?” Pete asks.

 

“Quite possibly yes” is all King can think of to say in return.

 

Janus quickly gets back to his feet and drags Bruce up, the Hell Machine grabs Bruce by the back of his hair and then tries to slam Bruce’s face into the iron gate. Bruce manages to bring his right leg forward and plant his steel tipped cowboy boot firmly on the ground and thus block Janus’ move.

 

Looking to repay the favor on Janus Bruce grabs Janus by the head and tries to drive the Hell Machine face first into the electrified gate, but the big man puts up a foot against the metal gate and blocks the attack. Janus’ rubber soles keeps him insulated from the electricity but Bruce has neither Janus’ luck nor his rubber soles as he’s flung back first hard into the iron gates

 

*ZZZZZZZZZ*

 

Bruce’s whole body convulses as the electricity courses through it, huge showers of sparks shoot out from the points where Bruce’s body bridges two bars and causes the electricity to leap THROUGH him.

 

*ZZZZZZZZZ*

 

With his muscles seized up by the electricity Bruce has no way of breaking contact with the iron gate himself, the gods above smile on him though as the generator Father Jack hooked the iron gate up to suddenly explodes with a thunderous boom sending bits of generator flying every direction imaginable.

 

*BOOM!!*

 

“Oh thank the lord almighty, I thought Bruce was done for” Pete says with relief as the electricity is cut off.

 

“I’ll be you anything that he smells of fried bacon right about now, extra crispy” King quips, using humor to cover up just how shaken up he is over what they’re seeing unfold on their screens.

 

As the electricity is cut off Bruce’s muscles can finally relax and the big man slowly sinks to his knees, his eyes rolled to the back of his skull as he slumps forward without even attempting to break his fall in any way. The camera moves in to get a good shot of Bruce laying on the gravel, face down revealing two long dark burns that run down his back where he made contact with two of the bars in the iron gate.

 

Janus nudges Bruce with his foot but doesn’t get a reaction, then he nudges him again but it appears that Bruce has been knocked unconscious from the electric shock. Janus grabs Bruce by the head and the arm and drags the big man to his feet, but has to keep a death grip on him as Bruce is totally out cold, not moving a muscle. Janus quickly slides his head under Bruce’s armpit and then lifts the Ultra Violent champion up over his shoulder, he can’t win the match without stuffing Bruce into the grave after all.

 

“Look at that power King, he’s lifting 295 pounds of dead weight” Pete says

 

“Yeah “Dead” is right, if he’s not dead already it may just be a matter of time, I mean he’s TOTALLY and utterly out cold.” King chips in.

 

Janus looks around, trying to determine which way he should go in search of a grave. After orientating himself for a moment Janus decides to head towards the back of the cemetery where most of the mausoleums and older graves are. Although it’s quite obvious that Janus is in pain and that each step is a battle in itself for the battered Hell Machine he still marches on at a determined pace heading towards an old creepy oak in the oldest part of the cemetery.

 

A cloud dims the moonlight, adding to the sense of imminent doom for Bruce Blank as he has still yet to move. Janus walks through the fallen leaves across the grass searching for the open grave that can finish this match. Only the sounds of leaves rustling in the wind and Janus’ deep, steady, eerie breathing is heard as the Hell Machine matches towards the old oak tree.

 

“They should end this right now, I mean Bruce is out cold” Pete laments

 

“Rules are rules, besides he may be okay” King replies

 

“Okay? He was electrocuted for crying out loud!!” Pete fires back at him.

 

The camera catches a shot of 3 or 4 buzzards sitting in the oak tree as Janus carries the limp body of his opponent closer to the three, their eyes following the Hell Machine’s path towards them. The look of determination on Janus face reveals just how he’s suffering on the inside, the damage done to his body in the brutal war he’s hoping to finish. As he passes under the tree he passes a noose dangling from one of the branches, bringing images of lynch mobs to the minds of those watching the match on their screens.

 

Janus brushes the rope to the side and walks under the tree branches, but Bruce’s hand grasps the rope and holds on to it as Janus walks a few steps more before he feels the resistance from the rope.

 

“Bruce isn’t out!! He may have been pretending for a while that bastard!” Pete says with moral indignation as Bruce quickly slips the noose around Janus throat and slides down from the big man’s shoulder

 

“Hey why waste energy when you can travel by Janus?” King replies.

 

The Hell Machine raises his hands up to the rope, wanting to free himself from the noose. But Bruce has other ideas and drives the tip of his boot straight up between Janus’ legs hitting the ONE spot not even a Hell Machine is impervious to pain. Janus sinks to his knees, but seconds later he’s violently pulled back to his feet and then raised into the air by his neck as Bruce grabs the other end of the noose rope and pulls backwards with all his force. The branch that the rope is looped over bends from the addition 320 pounds but it does not bend under the force.

 

“Are those buzzards circling over head?” Pete asks in disgust as the buzzards from the tree starts to circle over Janus as if he was a midnight meal.

 

“I… I can’t believe what we’re seeing” King says directing Pete’s attention away from the buzzards and to the image of Janus being hung by his neck.

 

The rope tightens around Janus neck, forcing a gagging noise over the lips of the up till now silent Janus as the fibers dig into the soft tissue of his throat. The Hell Machine tries to fight the strangulation, trying to pry his fingers under the ropes as his body writhes and convulses, almost like a bass on a fishing line.

 

“STOP THIS!! SOMEONE STOP THIS” Pete screams out, totally forgetting that they’re watching a match on tape delay and that whatever happens has already taken place half way around the world.

 

“Bruce is sick!” King says making sure that everyone understands that he doesn’t mean “in a good way”

 

Bruce puts his feet against the tree as he pulls on the rope using all the power and leverage he’s got to keep Janus up in the air. The grin on his face reveals that he’s loving every single moment of this and has absolutely no remorse about what he’s trying to do to his opponent. His grin widens as Janus' jerky motions slow down, the struggle against the ropes subdue as the seconds and minutes pass by until Janus' arms hang down by his side, only the wind's impact moving him as he hangs from the rope

 

in silence

 

as dark clouds gather over head

 

the buzzards disappear into the wind

 

as Bruce's head snaps back as he looks up at the sky

 

"Uh-"

 

*KRA-KRA-KRA-KOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!*

 

Electric blue streaks across the dark sky, connecting the heavens above with the earth below, bringing hell on earth as the bolt of lighting shatters the old oak tree into a million shards of burning wood.

 

Bruce sits on the ground, hair standing on end, smoking from the jolt, his eyes open in shock

 

"-Oh"

 

Just as quickly as the clouds gathered they depart letting the moon shine down on the cemetery of "Parts Unknown" once more, illuminating the smoldering crater that used to be a tall several hundred years old oak tree. In the silence only the gasping breaths of two men who’ve put each other through hell is head

 

Bruce, who’s still holding a piece of the rope in his hand, just staring into the sky, suddenly extremely aware of his own mortality.

 

Janus, stretched out on the ground, noose still around his throat, hurting in ways he never expected anyone human inflict upon him.

 

Slowly, very slowly the Hell Machine rolls over and gets to his knees, then he begins to unwrap the barbwire that’s still around his left wrist from where Bruce tried to crucify him in the church. The 3-4 feet long strand is already stained a deep, dark red from the Hell Machine’s blood but he obviously intends to soak it in Bruce’s blood before this is all over.

 

Bruce finally snaps out of his trance as he sees Janus rise to his feet, towering over the seated Bruce like Goliath towered over David, and Bruce didn’t have a slingshot. He shakes his head as he scoots backwards, trying to get away from Janus but the big man closes the gap in mere seconds and then lashes out at Bruce with the strand of barbwire in his hand

 

*WOOOOOOOOO-PISH!!*

 

The strand of barbwire comes down on Bruce’s right leg, each individual metal tip digging into his thigh before Janus rips the wire back again, tearing off bits of Bruce’s jeans and flesh. Another swing of the barbwire brings it down over Bruce’s thigh once more with a sickening whipping sound

 

*WOOOOOOOOO-PISH!!*

 

Once again the metal barbs tear at Bruce’s skin and jeans, slicing the jeans open from Bruce’s hip to his foot.

 

“Someone stop this carnage” Pete adds as the two commentators finally shake off the shock and horror of what they’re seeing.

 

“If this keeps up we may never see Bruce Blank wrestle again” King adds in a somber, serious voice.

 

Deep in his blood rush Janus grabs both ends of the barbwire, gets behind the seated Bruce and then brings the barbwire in front of the Ultra Violent champion’s throat like he was trying to garrote him with it. Fortunately for Bruce he’s able to get a hand under the barbwire and lift it away from his throat, unfortunately it just means that Janus pulls backwards on the barbwire and brings it in contact with Bruce’s face right across his mouth.

 

Janus presses the barbwire into Bruce’s mouth, like a demented dentist flossing Bruce’s teeth with barbwire. The image is so strong and so repulsive that the camera man actually turns away for a moment while the barbs no double dig themselves into Bruce’s tongue, gums and the roof of his mouth.

 

“I…” is all King can say, once again the brutality of the match leaves them both totally speechless

 

Bruce tries to fight off the barbwire but every time he moves his body the barbs cut his face, his mouth or his ears as Janus has it wrapped tightly. After a few minutes Janus decides to wrap the rest of the barbwire around Bruce’s head, making it around 3-4 times before he runs out of wire.

 

The Trailerpark superstar is shrieking in pain, shaking and convulsing as he struggles to stay awake through the whole ordeal. He rolls over on his hands and knees and covers his face to keep Janus from kicking the barbwire that’s wrapped around his head, he’d rather sacrifice another part of his body instead of subjecting himself to that. With blurred vision and shaking hands Bruce starts to unwrap the barbwire before he notices that Janus isn’t attacking him

 

“Where did he go?” Pete asks

 

“Maybe he needs another weapon? Something more deadly than barbwire?” King ponders out loud in a thought that sends chills down a lot of spines in a lot of homes.

 

Bruce finally manages to unwrap the barbwire but in doing so he’s torn his skin even more, his right ear is flapping in a weird manner, almost as if it was partially torn off at the top. He doesn’t question where Janus went, he just counts his blessings and looks for somewhere to hide. Then he spots a run down shack by the back wall, a shack that must belong to the groundskeepers.

 

Bruce stumbles inside the wooden shack, slams the door shot and latches it from the inside. As he turns around he notices one of the mounted cameras that the SWF camera crews have put up everywhere to cover any potential action. He staggers over towards it and gets real close so that all you can see is his face from his mouth on up.

 

“He’s insane, someone come stop this” Bruce whispers, sounding like he’s on the edge of crying.

 

“It’s… I give up okay? I want out” he continues as he starts to shake like a leaf, The close up reveals just how much damage Bruce has suffered through the match, the broken nose, the cuts from the glass, barbwire, wood and everything else, the missing teeth and the blood

 

Most of all the blood – all over his face as he stares into the camera

 

“I can’t stop him! I can’t stop the monster, please get me out of here before I’m forced to do something we’ll all regret” Bruce pleads.

 

Then he stops and looks to his right where he spots something, a single glowing red dot

 

“OH MY GOD HE’S IN HERE!!” Bruce screams out as he reaches blindly for a weapon and grabs a chainsaw off one of the shelves.

 

A voice pleads from the dark “Don’t hurt me! Please don’t hurt me” and then Father Ted Crilly appears, pale, frightened as he stares at Bruce with a cigarette in one hand. “I was just waiting for someone to find the grave, I swear!”

 

“I was wondering where the priest went” King comments as the Craggy island native convinces Bruce that he’s definitely not Janus.

 

“Is the grave nearby?” Bruce asks the priest

 

“I can’t sa..”

 

Bruce quickly raises the chainsaw at him

 

“Yes, yes it’s not far from here towards the south” Father Ted blurts out.

 

Bruce’s mood seems to improve slightly, maybe there was still hope after all, maybe he could still win, maybe…

 

“Do you smell smoke?” Bruce asks

 

The two of them turn around to see the back wall of the wooden shack on fire, golden flames licking up the sides of the dry wood. Father Ted unlatches the door and they both run out of the shack as quickly as it’s humanly possible. Bruce turns around and sees the shack catch fire all around just moments after they left, then he spots Janus come around the side of the shack with an empty gasoline can in his hand

 

Bruce looks down at the chainsaw in his hand, then he quickly grabs the starter cord with his right hand and pulls on it…

 

Nothing!

 

He grabs hold of the cord once more and tugs on it hard, hoping to start the chainsaw

 

“Not a chainsaw!! Jesus what’s next? A tactical nuke?” Pete says in disbelief

 

“Why not a chainsaw? If Janus loses an arm he’ll be easier to put in the grave” King quips to cover his own uneasiness with the whole scenario.

 

Bruce tries to pull the starter cord a third time but Janus has closed the distance between them and takes Bruce down with a stiff right elbow that whips Bruce’s head backwards with such a snap that he sends out a fine spray of blood spatter that covers the camera lens.

 

After the blood is wiped off the camera pans back towards the fight where Janus has gotten hold of the chainsaw now and is trying to start it. Bruce attempts to kick Janus but the big man brings the chainsaw down and blocks the kick with the blade cutting Bruce’s boot open at the tip.

 

Then he pulls on the cord once more and the chainsaw roars to life with a sound that might just as well have been the devil laughing out loud. Janus pushes the “trigger” a few times, gunning the engine as the deadly saw teeth whistle through the air in anticipation of what’s to come

 

If anyone is expecting King and Pete to commentate while being in a state of shock and horror they’ve got to be kidding.

 

The deadly tool is swung at Bruce but fortunately he’s able to avoid the roaring blade. Janus brings the chainsaw around and swings at Bruce again, unfortunately for the Ultra Violent Champion it’s deep in human’s nature to put up their hands to block any attack

 

Which Bruce does with catastrophic results as the spinning blade nicks the side of his hand with a sharp “twang” like it just cut through a branch.

 

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRHH!!”

 

Bruce shrieks in pain, a shriek that sounds like it comes from the bowels of hell as he slumps forward and cradles his left hand, blood quickly flowing out through the fingers of his right hand.

 

“What happened??” Pete asks

 

Then a camera man zooms in on something in the grass, the moonlight reveals a finger in the grass, Bruce’s left pinky finger to be precise cut off just under the second joint.

 

Janus raises the chainsaw over his head with a demented laugh but when he presses the button the engine seizes up on him and dies in a puff of smoke which thankfully makes Janus forget about whatever sick attack he had in mind. While Janus focuses on the chainsaw and tries to get it started again Bruce is busy wrapping his mangled hand in a piece of his torn jeans in the hopes of stopping the blood flow from where he’s now missing a finger.

 

“God I hope they have EMTs standing by” Pete says as they watch with horror.

 

“EMTs? They need to clear the entire ER for these two guys, neither of them will be able to ever forget the horror of Dust 2 Dust” King adds

 

“Neither will anyone who is watching at home King” Pete adds

 

Janus takes his frustrations out on the chainsaw as he slams the tool into a tombstone in anger over not being able to start the damn thing again. Then he turns his attention back towards Bruce who is still on his knees, fiddling with something that he doesn’t want the camera to see. As Janus closes in we catch a glimpse of what looks like a spark between Bruce’s hands. And then another one as Janus bends down to grab his opponent.

 

Bruce quickly brings his right hand up in a throwing motion and hurls something at Janus

 

*FWWWOOOOOOM!!*

 

“FIREBALL!!” King screams out as a huge ball of orange flames comes right at Janus’ head as if Bruce threw a comet at him from 3 feet away.

 

The fire engulfs Janus’ head for a second before the volatile flames disappear leaving only the embers still in Janus’ hair as the Hell Machine falls backwards, clutching his face while screaming in agony from the burs to his face. The big man thrashes on the grass, putting the fire in his now very singed and burnt hair before it all went up in flames.

 

Bruce just sits on his knees, cradling his hand in agony as he stares at the damage he inflicted on Janus with the fireball, a trick he no doubt had saved until he was out of other options. Bruce slowly gets to his feet, the jean fabric wrapped around his hand has stopped most of the blood, but Bruce has to suffer the pain as he looks around

 

“Didn’t Father Ted say that the grave was near by?” Pete asks.

 

“Yeah just a bit to the south” King replies as they watch Bruce stagger over to where Janus is still holding his face in agony from the fire ball.

 

The two combatants are quite a horrific sight as Bruce uses his less mangled hand to drag Janus along by his fire singed hair heading towards a large tombstone with a pile of dirt next to it and Father Ted waiting by it as he nervously pulses on a cigarette

 

The two combatants are quite a horrific sight as Bruce uses his less mangled hand to drag Janus along by his fire singed hair heading towards a large tombstone with a pile of dirt next to it and Father Ted waiting by it as he nervously pulses on a cigarette

 

“Oh there is that idiot Father Ted again” King says with a little contempt in his voice.

 

“That must mean that they’ve found the grave! I thought they’d end up dead before they even found the damn thing” Pete adds.

 

Janus drops to his knees to stop Bruce from dragging him along by the hair towards the open grave. With the big man down on his hands and knees trying to regain some of his sense Bruce has the opportunity to head over to the big dirt mound and grab the long wood handled spade that’s been stuck in the freshly dug pile.

 

Bruce stares into the grave for a second, almost mesmerized by the darkness of the earthly tomb, but he quickly shakes it off and heads back towards Janus, using the spade for support as he limps back towards the Hell Machine. Bruce lifts the spade up in the air with his right hand despite the pain it causes him from all the damage to his shoulder and brings the long sharp metallic spade blade down in a swooping arch.

 

*CLANG!*

 

Right into the ground where it splits a stone on impact, fortunately for Janus he managed to move out of the way before Bruce split his skull instead of a stone. Janus reacts instinctively as he grabs the spade and shoves the handle backwards into Bruce’s solar plexus.

 

“I can’t believe the Hell Machine is coming back from that! Is there no stopping this man?” Pete asks

 

“It doesn’t look like Bruce has found a way yet, the big man just keeps advancing and attacking – he’s going to have to cripple him to stop him if you ask me” King adds as they both seem more intent on watching the match than providing insightful commentary.

 

Janus rises like the phoenix from the ashes, fire burning in his eyes as he wraps his right arm around the spade and tears it from Bruce’s grasp. The spade is quickly brought around with a whipping sound as the metal cuts through the night air. Bruce barely manages to put his hands up to take some of the impact of the spade as the metal strikes Bruce over the back of the head knocking the Trailerpark Superstar over like a drunk Irishman.

 

*CLANG!*

 

Janus switches the shovel to his left hand and then grabs Bruce by the ankle with his right hand and slowly starts to drag the 295 pound man towards the open grave where Father Ted Crilly is waiting for them. Each step moves Bruce a bit closer to his doom, each step drags a streak of blood across the grass from Bruce’s many cuts and wounds. Bruce stirs a little, trying to dig the heel of his other foot into the ground to stop Janus from advancing. The big man turns and quickly brings the spade round, striking Bruce on the ear with the flat of the blade.

 

*CLANG!*

 

Then the Hell Machine just turns back in the direction of the grave and resumes his dragging. As he reaches the opening in the ground Janus drops the spade and then drags Bruce over the edge of the hole and releases him with a hollow thud as the Ultra Violent champion hits the bottom of the hole.

 

Janus stares at Father Ted who’s too freaked out to do anything at the moment. Then as the Hell Machine points to him he leaps into action, pulling out his bible and quickly flips through it to find the funeral rights

 

“He’s totally useless! I mean what kind of priest doesn’t know the funeral verse?” Pete asks.

 

“Have you ever tried to remember it while a 7 foot 3 blood soaked monster stares at you?” King asks Pete in return.

 

“Well… no” Pete has to admit

 

“So don’t judge lets ye be kicked in the nuts”

 

“That’s not how it goes King” Pete replies.

 

“It is if you don’t shut up” is the only answer Pete gets back.

 

Father Ted finally finds the place and nervously starts to read the verse over Bruce Blank who’d have lost the match by now if the priest had not been so freaked out by everything he had seen tonight.

 

“Ashes to… erm… ashes” Father Ted begins nervously. “Dust to dust, and to du…”

 

Father Ted stops as a hand shoots out of the grave and grabs Janus by the leg.

 

“Holy crap I thought he had the match won Pete!”

 

The element of surprise enables Bruce to pull the legs out from under Janus and drag him half way over the edge of the grave before the big man gets a chance to react. The two blood soaked combatants exchange lefts and rights as Janus tries to stay out of the grave and keep Bruce in it. Each blow echoes through the otherwise quiet night as fist meets face over and over again until Bruce, in an act of desperation, hurls a handful of dusty soil at Janus getting it in his mouth, nose and eyes.

 

The soil immediately brings on a gagging and coughing reflex from the Hell Machine as Bruce drags himself out of the grave. Janus spits out a clump of dirt and brings his right foot up into the air to kick Bruce in the head, but the Trailerpark Superstar manages to duck under the big boot and then chop block Janus in the side of his left leg, surprisingly only staggering the big man and not knocking him down.

 

“How much longer can these two go on? I mean look at them, they already need serious medical attention and the match isn’t even over yet” Pete says.

 

Bruce places his head under right arm as the big man staggers on the edge of the grave, then he summons all the strength he’s got left in his massive body and actually manages to lift Janus up into a Torture Rack position with a Herculean effort.

 

“No way!” King exclaims in surprise.

 

The camera catches a shot of Bruce’s face, blood running over it, the only identifiable features being his eyes really as he focuses all his strength and will power on the task at hand. Then as if in slow motion he closes his eyes as the beginning of a primal scream escapes his lips

 

“RAAAAAA-“

 

Bruce’s entire body shakes under the strain as he pulls down with his left arm that’s wrapped around Janus’ head and at the same time pushes up at Janus’ legs to move the big man around in a semi circle behind his own head.

 

“-AAAAAAA-”

 

The scream gets even louder as he manages to raise Janus’ feet straight up in the air while sliding his opponent’s blood splattered body down his chest, his legs trembling from the effort of lifting a 320 pound opponent so late in the match.

 

“-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!”

 

At the last moment Bruce leaps forward into a sit out position INTO the grave where he drives Janus’ head down between his legs in a pile driver motion.

 

“PSYCHO DRIVER??!?! The Fucking Psycho Driver??” King screams out in amazement of both the physical feat and the devastating nature of the move.

 

Father Ted stands there and just stares into the grave, not sure what to do since both wrestlers are in the grave.

 

“That’s… Bruce used one of the most potentially lethal moves in wrestling INTO THE GRAVE!!” Pete exclaims loudly to really get across the viciousness of the move to the viewers at home.

 

Father Ted just waits, the bible open, his finger pointing to the correct line – nervously waiting for someone to move in the grave.

 

“This could be it for both of them, Bruce and Janus – Dace Night’s Psycho Driver… I can’t believe Bruce pulled it off” King says.

 

Finally a hand pops up, at first it’s impossible to see who’s hand it is, but when the camera moves in closer and reveals that it’s a left hand and it’s wrapped in blue fabric where it’s missing a pinky finger. Then another blood soaked hand grasps the grass and slowly, very slowly Bruce’s head appears over the edge of the grave.

 

Inch by inch, moment by moment Bruce manages to drag himself out of the grave and then roll over onto the grass, laying on his back gasping for air through his broken nose.

 

“Ashes to ashes” Father Ted starts the second Bruce is totally clear of the grave.

 

“Dust to dust” he follows up making sure to keep his distance to the grave

 

“One more line and Bruce will have done the unthinkable” King says excitedly.

 

“And to dust we shall return," Father Ted finishes and then closes his bible.

 

“Amen”

 

In the distance the church bell chimes to signal the end of the match.

 

*BONG!*

 

“This is unbelievable!! Bruce actually bested Janus – he managed to put the Hell Machine down” Pete comments in disbelief.

 

*BONG!*

 

“I’ve seen a lot of sick stuff in my time, but this… beyond words.” King adds

 

*BONG!*

 

Still on his back Bruce hardly seems aware that he’s actually won the match, he lays there on the grass, the execution of the Psycho Driver has drained him of any and all reserve energy he may have had.

 

The bell stops ringing, only the whistling of the wind is heard, the leaves rustling in the distance.

 

Then…

 

The sound of fingers scraping

 

A hand clad in a black fingerless glove appears over the edge of the grave

 

A low, growling sound from the grave.

 

Bruce sits up and

[JHawk 0]

Well, Landon, I think we got outwritten overall, although I think we gave them one hell of a run for their money wrestling-wise.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Pete: “And as this tremendous Ashes 2 Ashes pay-per-view event continues from the Tokyo Egg Dome, we get ready for our huge tag team ladder match for the SWF World Tag Team Championship. The challenger, TKO…”

 

King: “Good.”

 

Pete: “…taking on the champions, Jay Hawke…”

 

King: “Good.”

 

Pete: “…and Landon Maddix.”

 

King: “Damn. Well, three out of four ain’t bad.”

 

Pete: “A lot of heat between these four men, as TKO stole the championship belts from the champions literally seconds after they won the titles five weeks ago.”

 

King: “And anytime Landon Maddix doesn’t get his way, it’s a good day, believe me.”

 

Pete: “Well, the champions finally regained possession of the title belts recently, thanks to leaving our poor timekeeper to take the brunt of TKO’s assault.”

 

King: “And anytime Blazenwing gets beat up, that’s a good thing. I honestly can’t believe Landon Maddix had anything to do with that.”

 

Pete: “But tonight, neither team has possession of the championship belts. They are placed fifteen feet above the ring here in the Tokyo Dome, and the winners will be the first team to climb the ladder and retrieve both championship belts.”

 

King: “So Landon Maddix could retain the titles without retaining the titles. Color me apathetic.”

 

Pete: “Any thoughts as to who is going to win this match?”

 

King: “With all due respect to Jay Hawke, Landon Maddix always has been -- and always will be -- a liability to anybody who teams with him. TKO to win the titles.”

 

Pete: “Let’s go to Funyon’s introductions for this contest!”

 

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the ladder match for the SWF World Tag Team Championship!”

 

“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

 

The arena starts off in darkness, but as the pounding bass beat of “Tribe” by the Mad Capsule Markets beings thumping through the arena, strobe lights criss cross over the crowd. As the hushed Japanese voice cuts in, TORU and KOJI walk into the entrance area, and wait for a the end of the verse and the bright flash of pyro…

 

TRIIIIIIIIIBE! WHY DON’T YOU STRIKE JUSTIFY YOUR MIND?

 

…Flanked by Card and Natasha the pair walk up to the ring, stopping briefly for Natasha to whip off their long black trenchcoats with a flourish.

 

Funyon: “Introducing first, the challengers … being led toward the ring by Chris Card and Natasha … at a total combined weight of 483 pounds … TORU Takahara … KOJI Kitano … TKO!”

 

Both men hand their jet black mirrored shades to Card before leaping over the ring ropes and into the ring to a surprising chorus of boos and catcalls from the home country faithful.

 

Pete: “The challengers look focused tonight, King!”

 

King: “Indeed they do, Pete. But their opponents … one of them, anyway … are no slouches.”

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

The post-opening part of "Megalomaniac" by Incubus hits, as from behind the curtain steps Landon Maddix and Jay Hawke, stopping at the top of the ramp and thrusting his hands out to his side to boos. Landon turns back to the curtains, holding his arms to the side and soaking up the boos of the crowd, as the Dean of Wrestling makes his way to the ring with a look of intensity on his face. Landon then walks down the ramp following his partner.

 

Funyon: “And their opponents … representing Cucaracha Internacional … at a total combined weight of 433 pounds … they are the reigning and defending SWF World Tag Team Champions … Landon ‘La Cucaracha’ Maddix … and the SWF International Champion … ‘The Dean of Professional Wrestling’ Jay Hawke!”

 

Pete: “Neither team is popular here in the Tokyo Dome tonight!”

 

King: “TKO is being booed in their home country. Now that is the mark of an excellent tag team.”

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

The crowd remain pretty venomous towards their native team, which doesn't seem to concern either KOJI or TORU. After all, they knew what to expect. Heck, they'd probably be disappointed with anything less. Striding out from the corner of the ring together, TKO look every bit the team as they stand side by side in the centre of the ring and dare their opponents to face off, man (+ man) to man (+ man). For now though, Cucaracha Internacional are in deep discussion in the opposite corner of the ring. And Maddix seems to be directing some sort of plan. Eventually they break off and begin to casually walk forward to meet TKO...before Maddix suddenly takes a detour and squirms out of the ring, scurrying back down the aisleway towards the ladder. Meanwhile, the lonely Hawke is left to aim a double clothesline at TKO. The challengers duck his double swing though, taking the International Champion by top and tail before pitching him out to the floor. They then turn back to the aisle, just as Maddix drags the provided ladder towards the ring and realises that, not for the first time, TKO have scuppered his plans.

 

"Craaap!" moans Maddix, tossing the ladder down at ringside and scrambling up to the apron. Quickly KOJI rushes forward to meet him, ducking his head and firing a shoulder through middle and top ropes...right into a raised knee! KOJI remains doubled over as Maddix then vaults over the top and rolls down KOJI's back. But as soon as he lands in the ring, TORU charges and drives his knee deep into Maddix's gut. Over doubles La Cucaracha, as KOJI comes back to his senses and together with TORU sends Maddix into opposite ropes with a double whip. Luckily for Maddix though, Hawke is alert and trips his partner up, before pulling him from the ring and to safety on the floor.

 

"Well, time to rethink strategy I think." Pete muses.

 

"Time to rethink whose strategy to use too." quips King. "The fact that Jay is taking advice and following plans thought up by this idiot worries me Pete, it really does."

 

Having found some refuge, Maddix and Hawke huddle to discuss strategy. But of course, TKO aren't going to have any of that. After a brief discussion on who's going to dive, it's decided that KOJI will sprint off the ropes, gathering a head of steam...

 

 

...before soaring through the middle rope and tumbling out into the Cucaracha Internacional pile!!

 

"TOPÉ CON HÍLO!"

 

"RRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

 

Some of the fans, despite their blatant dislike and disregard for TKO, applaud the daredevilism of KOJI's dive. But, predictably, he responds with two, familiar middle fingers.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

Meanwhile, as KOJI makes sure Hawke and Maddix remain non-factors, TORU has rolled out of the ring and slides in the ladder, so kindly retrieved for him just moments earlier by one of his opponents. Not taking his eyes off the belts for a second, TORU then fumbles at the ladder, an impliment he really doesn't seem all that comfortable with. Then again, maybe if he looked at that instead of the belts, he'd open it more easily, eh? Eventually TORU does get the ladder apart though and sets it underneath the titles. The big man of the challenging team then begins his climb. Only for Jay Hawke to slide into the ring, past KOJI who is being held by Maddix on the floor and grab TORU's leg to stop him at a measly three rungs up. Hawke then pulls TORU off the ladder entirely...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

...only for TORU to swat him away with a knifedge chop, before re-starting his climb.

 

"Man, TORU isn't wasting any time here, huh?" says King, with a hint of surprise at the forthright tactics from TKO...and the lack of shit-kicking for the sake of shit-kicking.

 

Recovering quickly, Hawke grabs TORU again and pulls him down with a little more authority than last time. But TORU still lands on his feet...

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

...chops, then goes to climb again.

 

"TKO, unsurprisingly, don't have a lot of history in Ladder Matches." states LDP. "Infact, I don't think they've ever been in one before...at least not to my knowledge. But it seems Chris Card has given these two men a firm strategy here - Try and grab the belts at any and every opportunity."

 

TORU has made progress this time, reaching the fourth rung before Hawke manages to clasp hold of his standing foot. Rather than simply pull TORU down though, this time Hawke decides to punch TORU right in the back of the knee! And a second time, this one right to the hamstring. TORU's meaty right leg seems to buckle slightly as Hawke rears back with his fist again, this time going higher and catching TORU right in his well-developed thigh muscle. Luckily, we're not in America, so we're spared the "Donkey Punch" chants. Instead, the crowd watches on, eagerly waiting for TORU to be taken down and out of the running for the gold. TORU is clearly favouring his leg and kicks back, trying to rid himself of the annoyance that is Jay Hawke. But Hawke avoids the kick and the momentum of TORU's foot shooting back begins to tip the ladder with the mighty Japanese man. So, TORU is forced to jump off at the last moment. The shots to the back of the leg have turned TORU's right limb to jelly through numbness though and as he lands, his knee seems to buckle slightly. And it certainly buckles as Hawke fires a kick around into the hamstring area. A second kick leaves TORU wobbling and clutching at the back of his leg with a grimace on his face, prompting Hawke to hit the ropes behind his opponent. But a trip from KOJI causes him to flop flat on his face. KOJI then drags Hawke on out to the floor...forgetting about Landon Maddix in the process.

 

"Jay Hawke, utilising the schoolyard 'dead leg' strategy to neutralise TORU momentarily."

 

"What next, The Chinese Burn?" sighs King, before scoffing. "You know, now that I think about it, a Chinese Burn would probably hurt more than 95% of Maddix's signature moves."

 

Sliding into the ring, Maddix looks to prove King wrong as he approaches TORU. But, for some reason, Maddix ignores the fact that TORU clearly has a bad wheel and instead fires a forearm into the side of TORU's head. Followed by a second.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

...and a knifedge chop.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

...a second.

 

 

*SLAP!*

 

...and a third, none of which exactly muderising TORU.

 

"What is he doing!?!" King despairs. "His opponent is holding the back of his leg and limping, so Maddix decides the best course of action is to hit him with some piss-poor chops?"

 

"King, please, remember your impartiality oath..."

 

"Bah! That oath isn't worth the paper it's written on."

 

"Actually, I just wrote it on a napkin earlier to try and shut you up...but that's besides the point."

 

With the effects of his chopping minimal, Maddix changes tactics and hits the ropes at the side of TORU, gaining as much head of steam as he can to bundle TORU into the ladder...but, he fails. Miserably. TORU moves a step, maybe two, to the side before coming to a stop and folding his arms in mock disappointment. Panicking, Maddix hits the ropes again and barges into TORU again. But again, TORU is going nowhere. Never the sharpest knife in the drawer though, Maddix summons some puroresu "crouching to your knees and slamming your fists into the canvas" POWAH~ before he once again sprints into the ropes for another attempt...only to run right into a TORU clothesline!

 

"Monty Brown, he ain't." scoffs King.

 

As this goes on in the ring meanwhile, KOJI and Hawke have continued to battle out on the floor...a battle which ends with KOJI sending the International Champion crashing into and, with a little extra barge after impact, over the barricade at ringside and into the front row. The Japanese fans over Hawke beam and applaud the fact that an SWF wrestler is at their feet, clearly unconcerned by Hawke's moans of pain. In the meantime, KOJI now rolls into the ring. And after checking on his partner, KOJI signals that he'll take care of Maddix, which allows TORU to roll out to the apron. Rushing over, Natasha knows what to do and quickly sets to work trying to massage the numbness out of TORU's right leg.

 

"Now, why couldn't I have had someone to do that during my matches?" sighs King dreamily.

 

"Maybe it's your noteriety of being a bad tipper."

 

KOJI has Maddix in his grasp now, dragging The Next Generation off the canvas and running a thumb across his throat, while rasping one rousing cry of "SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIKEUH~!". Going to the gut with a quick kick, KOJI then applies a front facelock and grabs the tights for a little more leverage in lifting Maddix up. Shifting his body weight to the side, somehow Maddix escapes certain doom though, landing safely behind KOJI and pushing him forwards...causing KOJI to take a glancing blow, face first into the side of the standing ladder! The ladder manages to remain standing but KOJI does not, falling beside the ladder and tending to his face. Meanwhile, Maddix takes advantage by turning on his heels and charging towards TORU, who remains laid out on the apron and is currently enjoying a Natasha speciality massage. His pleasure is soon to be short lived however, as Maddix baseball slides into him, causing TORU to fly off the apron...taking Natasha with him as he falls to the thinly padded arena floor!

 

"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!"

 

Furiously, Chris Card storms around the ring to where Natasha lays stricken, pointing a threatening finger up at Maddix. The smirking Champion laughs the threat off though, turning back to KOJI and giving him a quick stomp to the chest. Glancing at the ladder, Maddix then licks his smirking lips. A plan. Hitting the ropes, much like before, Maddix barges his body weight into his target. But unlike TORU, the ladder doesn't withstand the barge and topples...

 

 

 

...topples...

 

 

*KE - RRAASH!"

 

 

...ON TOP OF KOJI!!!!

 

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

The Japanese crowd gasp as one half of the ladder crashes down into KOJI's midsection...but more importantly, the other half of rungs slams down right into the head of poor KOJI Kitano! And clearly, he was unable to cover up in time, as he writhes on the canvas clutching his right ear.

 

"The ladder coming into play as a weapon for the first time in this match and with potentially devastating effect." calls Pete.

 

"You know, these ladders aren't lightweight. They're aren't made of aluminium or some such crap. These ladders weigh a lot, you only have to listen to when they fall on the canvas. Well, that ladder just fell on top of a human body."

 

"And right on the ear." points out Pete. "That could have burst an eardrum, caught KOJI in the temple...and all that will effect equilibrium, which will in turn affect KOJI as he tries to climb the ladder."

 

Unconcerned with the science, all Maddix knows is that ladder falling on human = pain. And he's pleased at that. Pulling the ladder off of KOJI, Maddix folds it up and places it safely out of the way for now, before measuring KOJI and ruthlessly dropping a knee into the side of the head. KOJI writhes again, as Maddix scrambles to pull down his kneepad before a second kneedrop...this one aimed directly at the ear as a target has been established for Maddix to aim at. Behind this, Jay Hawke has pulled himself away from the passionate Japanese ringside fans and re-enters the ring with half an eye keeping watch for a TORU sighting. TORU is still out on the floor though. Which gives Maddix time to pull the ladder up and set it up in the corner, while Hawke takes over on KOJI and grinds the point of his elbow into KOJI's right ear!

 

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

"LAN - DON!"

 

"Ugh, these damn Japanese women and their pretty-boy obsessions." groans King.

 

A little taken a-back at the positive chants, Maddix smirks slightly as he pats Hawke on the back and makes sure he's completely aware what they're chanting. Rolling his eyes, Hawke nods before he and Maddix pull KOJI up and drag him into a neutral corner. The corner opposite the propped ladder. Grabbing an arm a-piece, Hawke and Maddix then whip KOJI out of the corner and across the ring...

 

*CRACK!*

 

...sending him back-first into the ladder! Maddix then crouches, ready to charge, taking a moment to once again make sure Hawke heard the crowd chanting his name, before charging in at KOJI. Out from the ladder though, KOJI catches Maddix charging in with a quick duck of the head and a backdrop...

 

 

*CRAAAAAACK!*

 

...CAUSING MADDIX TO COME CRASHING DOWN ACROSS THE LOWER RUNGS OF THE DIAGONALLY PLACED LADDER!!!

 

"OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"Oh LORD!" cries Pete, coming out of his chair. "Was that sound his back or the ladder!?!"

 

Maddix's crumpled frame bounces off the ladder and rolls out onto the apron, ringside positioned referee Sexton Hardcastle jogging over to check that Maddix is okay. Back in the ring, KOJI has watched all of Maddix's dramatic crashing and subsequent burning...but now he turns around, to get caught by a Jay Hawke running forearm. Now, the ringing of the ears is back and giving KOJI serious discomfort as he lies flat on the mat. But now, it's Jay Hawke with his back turned, as TORU sneaks back into the ring and despite a noticeable limp, manages to catch Hawke before he turns around and applies a Half Nelson. Hawke scrambles to escape TORU's grip, but doesn't succeed, getting hauled up by TORU and driven across the knee with a Half Nelson Backbreaker!

 

"Technically, that SHOULDN'T hurt as much as falling on a ladder...but, somehow, I'm not so sure." grimaces King.

 

"TKO have risen the stakes! They're taking the match to the Champions and they've turned up the violence a notch in the process!"

 

Both of the champions are favouring their backs now. TORU and KOJI haven't come out of the opening unscathed though. KOJI's ear is still ringing and TORU is now regretting his choice of move as he's ruined all of Natasha's good work and done more damage to his knee in the process of his backbreaker. But TORU shakes off the pain though and goes over to collect Landon Maddix, dragging his limp frame out from under the bottom rope and dumping him unceremoniously in the centre of the ring. Pointing out to a still clearly shaken Natasha, TORU then indicates that "this one is for her"...before delivering two shrift, sharp SNOTROCKETS~! to Maddix's contorted face!!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

 

The Japanese crowd don't take too kindly to TKO's disrespect...but that's all part of the fun. Fun which KOJI clearly wants in on, as he delivers a quick SNOTROCKET~! of his own. Now covered in phlegm, not to mention suffering a mild rigamortis effect, Maddix tries to get away from TKO. TORU decides to kneel down on his chest to pin him down though, while KOJI goes over and rolls Jay Hawke out of the ring...and then drags the ladder out of the corner and over to the centre of the ring.

 

"TKO aren't going for the belts now." smiles King, with a hint of relief. "Now they're doing what they should be doing. Namely, destroying this Maddix punk once and for all."

 

"You'd love that, wouldn't you King?"

 

"More than words could describe."

 

Placing the ladder flat in the middle of the squared circle, KOJI gives a nod to TORU, who almost telepathically knows what to do. Climbing off of Maddix, TORU quickly springs up and drops a quick, hard knee into the sternum of The Next Generation. He then grabs Maddix's blonde locks and flips him over, so Maddix lies frontwards down on the ladder. Stepping over Maddix, KOJI already has a sick, scary smile etched on his face as he places a foot on Maddix's back and pins him down...before grabbing both of Maddix's arms in a surfboard...

 

 

"Oh no." mumbles Pete.

 

 

...pulling up on the move for little more than a brief interlude, before removing his foot, allowing Maddix's upper body to be pulled off of the ladder...

 

 

 

"Oh no." mumbles Pete.

 

 

 

...before placing the flat of his boot on the back of Maddix's head, pausing to share a hearty laugh with tag partner TORU...

 

 

 

"Oh no." mumbles Pete.

 

 

 

...and then SLAMMING HIS FOOT DOWN...

 

 

*CRAAACK!*

 

 

...AND DARKNESS STOMPING MADDIX'S FACE INTO THE GOD-DAMN RUNGS OF THE LADDER!!!!!!!

 

 

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"

 

"Oh...YES!" beams King, hardly able to believe his eyes.

 

"THEY BROKE HIS FACE!" Pete rather overdramatically cries in response, to chuckles from King. "A Darkness Stomp, on the ladder. For God's sake, that's sadistic...that's plain sick!"

 

"Yo, he jus' got curbstomped ho! Haha! KOJI Kitano is my new favourite wrestler Pete. Infact, he may just be my new favourite human being, depending on how many teeth he dislodged and forced down Maddix's throat."

 

Maddix is motionless, flat on his face, lying on the ladder still and with a metal rung jammed up against his mouth. Possibly THROUGH his mouth, who knows? But TKO aren't done. Reaching down, KOJI and TORU take an end of the ladder each and shuffle it as best possible across the ring into a more diagonal position. Seeing this, Hawke makes a concerted effort to drag himself back to the apron and try to save his partner. KOJI spots him coming though and vanquishes him with a quick dropkick through the middle and bottom ropes, sending Hawke crashing backwards into the steel barricade. Once he's out of the way, TORU now leaves the ring to the apron and begins to climb towards the top rope. Maddix isn't moving, but just to make certain, KOJI holds his legs down, whilst his partner slowly reaches the top, his usual mobility diminished somewhat by his dead leg from earlier. TORU does reach the top though, steadying himself up top with all the time he needs, as Maddix is still not moving.

 

"TORU HAMAAAAAAHHH~!" screams TORU at the top of his lungs, to boos from his Japanese breatheren.

 

"As if the Stomp wasn't enough...this'll cave Maddix's skull in!" gasps Pete.

 

But suddenly, that's not a problem...

 

 

 

*CRACK!*

 

 

 

...as a steel chair hurtles through the air and catches TORU in the side of the head, causing TORU to topple off the ropes, over and out to the arena floor! KOJI looks up suddenly to find his partner has disappeared, looking mightily confused, until he realizes that it was Jay Hawke who had thrown the chair! And not only that, it's Jay Hawke up on the apron, leaping to the top rope and springboarding into the ring with a clothesline that takes the unprepared KOJI clean off his feet!

 

"Thank goodness for Jay Hawke...or, well, thank goodness at least as far as Landon Maddix is concerned." Pete backtracks.

 

"Yeah. Just more proof, without Jay Hawke, Landon Maddix would be nothing."

 

Clambering back up, Hawke's first instincts are to grab the ladder and go for the Tag Titles. His second instinct is to check if Landon Maddix, who scuppers instinct one by selfishly lying half-dead on the ladder, still has any teeth left. Rolling his partner gently off the ladder, Hawke sees blood oozing from Maddix's mouth and cringes...but, he has belts to retrieve, so doesn't tend to his partner for too long, instead grabbing the ladder and setting it up as quickly as possible beneath the dangling tag straps. Hawke glances up at the belts, but he tries to remain focused, so shakes that off and keeps his eyes firmly fixed on the ladder rungs at his feet.

 

 

Three rungs.

 

 

Hawke begins his climb, still seemingly in the best condition of the four men in the match. Certainly better than his partner. No real injuries picked up to hamper him.

 

 

Four rungs.

 

 

Just a few aches. A little groggy.

 

 

Five rungs.

 

 

A little slanty.

 

 

 

Wait.

 

 

Slanty?

 

 

 

 

*OOOOOF!*

 

A desperate effort from KOJI Kitano suddenly sends the ladder toppling to the side. And before Hawke knows where he is or what's going on, he finds himself falling off the ladder and landing throat-first across the top rope! The whiplash effect sends Hawke staggering backwards and KOJI is waiting, measuring Hawke and then grabbing him around the waist, before folding the International Champion up with a HIGH Angle Back Suplex!!

 

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

 

On the outside, the previously nervy Ice Queen and Technical Perfection relax and rain applause down on KOJI as he rolls to his knees, wiping some sweat from his face and taking a moment to brandish a quick middle finger to the crowd.

 

Pete: “What an unbelievable match so far! Over ten minutes of nonstop action, and you wonder how these four men are able to keep fighting!”

 

King: “Well, three of them are still fighting. Landon Maddix, on the other hand, has changed the color of the canvas from grey to red. And he’s never looked better, if I do say so myself.”

 

KOJI drags Jay Hawke to his feet and smiles an evil smile before leveling the International Champion with a disrespect slap!

 

 

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

Oh, he shouldn’t have done that! KOJI levels Hawke in the gut with a short knee, then locks the Dean of Wrestling into a front facelock. Kitano leaps, seeminging trying to drive Hawke’s head into the canvas, but Hawke puts his left foot behind his right foot, giving himself enough leverage to hold KOJI in the air. Hawke then runs forward, driving his opponent’s back into the turnbuckle. KOJI crumples into a heap to the canvas, and Hawke drops to a knee, but he quickly regains his bearings enough to grab the ladder.

 

King: “And if I know Hawke, he’s making a run for the belts right here!”

 

Apparently King doesn’t know Hawke as well as he thinks. Hawke folds up the ladder and holds it, ready to strike. He charges, driving the ladder into KOJI, making the ladder and the turnbuckle like the pieces of bread in a KOJI Kitano sandwich. Hawke backs up, seemingly ready to do it again, but out of the corner of his eye, he sees TORU Takahara return to the ring. Hawke spins around, just enough to catch TORU in the side of the face as he charges in. TORU falls to the mat in a heap, and Jay Hawke once again turns KOJI into a sandwich following a charge into the corner. KOJI falls face-first to the mat, and Jay Hawke sets the ladder up underneath the belts, seemingly ready to put the match away once and for all.

 

“Now’s the time for the champions to retain,” shouts Pete. “It could be all over right here!”

 

“Hawke’s the only one on his feet! It should be all over here!”

 

Hawke begins his climb, easily getting the first three rungs before slipping just a little bit on the fourth rung. He reaches for the title belt, but he’s still too low. He struggles to climb up onto the fifth rung, once again reaching for the title belt. He gets his fingertips on the belt, but he’s thwarted by Natasha running into the ring and grabbing him by the ankle.

 

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

 

 

Jay Hawke kicks backwards, getting just enough force to back Natasha away from him. He reaches for the gold again, unaware that TORU has pulled himself to his feet and up to the top rope…

 

 

*CRASH!*

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

 

…in order to missile dropkick the ladder, knocking Jay Hawke down to the mat as the ladder weebles and wobbles, but doesn’t fall down.

 

Pete: “A heads-up move by TORU Takahara there, saving the match for his team at least temporarily!”

 

King: “And with the ladder still in position, TORU’s going to make a run for the gold right here!”

 

Natasha returns to her place on the arena floor, standing next to a smiling Chris Card as TORU shakes the knee, trying to keep the circulation in it before ascending the ladder. He’s up to the second rung…

 

…

 

…the third rung…

 

…

 

…the fourth rung…

 

Pete: “And TORU is two rungs away from reaching up and grabbing the championships for TKO!”

 

…

 

…the fifth rung…

 

…and he’s unable to reach the final rung he needs, as somehow Landon Maddix is conscious enough to reach up and grab TORU before starting to climb behind him.

 

King: “You’ve got to be kidding!”

 

Landon climbs up after him, catching him with a series of forearm smashes to the back before locking the Japanese challenger in a reverse headlock. Taking a deep breath, Landon falls backwards, bringing TORU down with him and driving TORU’s back into Landon’s knee.

 

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

 

Pete: “My God, what a move! A backbreaker from nearly eight feet above the canvas, and both men are down!”

 

King: “The work Hawke did to TORU’s knee earlier on was the difference there! It bought Landon enough time to get up there and luck into a move!”

 

Pete: “Luck?”

 

King: “You think Landon consciously did a move like that? Only in your dreams, Pete!!”

 

All four men are down, but at this point, it is now KOJI Kitano who is probably in the best shape of anybody. However, he decides not to go for the belts, instead grabbing the ladder and pulling it toward the turnbuckle.

 

Pete: “What is KOJI thinking here?”

 

King: “Well, we know he’s the king of the top rope move. Maybe he wants to do something off the top of the ladder!”

 

That does indeed seem to be the case, as he steps to the apron and climbs to the top turnbuckle behind the erect metal ladder. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, unaware that the International Champion is rolling toward that very corner. As KOJI places himself onto the top rope, Hawke begins climbing the ladder, hoping to hit a big move before KOJI can hit one of his own.

 

Pete: “Could be a dangerous situation here!”

 

King: “Could be? The only way this in’ts dangerous is if the mat is made of feather pillows!”

 

As Hawke makes his way near the top of the ladder, he and KOJI begin trading forearm smashes. Hawke gets the better of it before slamming KOJI’s head into the top of the ladder repeatedly, with the crowd counting along…in English, no less.

 

 

“ONE!

TWO!

THREE!

FOUR!

FIVE!

SIX!

SEVEN!

EIGHT!

NINE!

TEN!

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

 

With KOJI clearly rattled, Jay Hawke hooks KOJI up for what should be an easy superplex. I repeat, what should be an easy superplex. Unfortunately, it’s not that easy when TORU is behind the Dean and leveling him with forearm smashes.

 

Pete: “TORU saving KOJI…and climbing up the ladder with Hawke?”

 

Indeed, TORU has climbed the ladder with the International Champion and appears to be setting him up for a Russian legsweep off the ladder. As he does so, Landon Maddix makes his way to his feet, stumbling over and peppering TORU with a series of forearm smashes to the back.

 

King: “Dammit!”

 

Landon then reaches underneath TORU, apparently for a power bomb. However, neither TORU nor Jay Hawke has actually let go of the moves they were trying. As a result, Landon powers bombs TORU, which leads to a chain reaction of TORU taking Hawke down with a Russian legsweep and Hawke superplexing KOJI off the top of the ladder. All four men hit the canvas with a loud thud as the crowd initially sits in stunned silence before starting another chant:

 

 

“HO-LY SHIT!

HO-LY SHIT!

HO-LY SHIT!”

 

 

Pete: “What an absolutely incredible move, and only the ladder is still standing!”

 

King: “And at this point, it might be the first man to join the ladder than ends up taking this one!”

 

Landon Maddix is the only person even remotely aware of his surroundings, and he crawls over and begins to climb the ladder, which is still standing in the corner.

 

King: “And see what I mean about Maddix? If he’d place that ladder in the center of the ring, Cucaracha Internacional would retain the championships here! Instead, he’s costing his team the title!”

 

Landon gets to the fifth rung and turns around, struggling to keep his balance on the wobbly ladder. Taking another deep breath, he leaps, landing on a prone KOJI Kitano with a frog splash.

 

 

“OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 

 

Pete: “Frog splash! With God as my witness, I think Landon has knocked the wind out of KOJI Kitano once and for all!”

 

Landon begins to drag the ladder toward the center of the ring, looking to put the match away once and for all. However, with every bit of strength he uses to pull the ladder to the middle of the ring, he stops to catch his breath. Finally he begins his ascent, only to get merely two rungs high before KOJI reaches up and grabs an ankle.

 

King: “What was that about his wind being permanently knocked out of him, MacDougal?”

 

La Cucaracha tries in vain to kick KOJI off, but KOJI hangs on to the ankle like a spider monkey.

 

King: “I love it! Any hope Landon Maddix just had of being a champion after Ashes 2 Ashes is officially done with right here!”

 

Landon tries to go up one more rung, but KOJI continues to keep a death grip on his ankle. KOJI reaches up, looking to grab a handful of tights to pull Maddix off the ladder, but Jay Hawke runs in from the side and takes Koji down with a modified spear. Both men hit the mat hard and roll down to the floor, although KOJI is clearly worse for wear. Chris Card and Natasha finally express concern as Landon Maddix continues his climb uncontested.

 

Pete: “Jay Hawke just took Kitano out of the equation! Landon Maddix is going to retrieve the belts right here!”

 

Landon does appear to be ready to grab both championship belts. He climbs to the third rung…

 

 

…

 

 

…the fourth rung…

 

 

…

 

 

…the fifth rung…

 

 

…

 

 

…

 

 

…but as he reaches unsuccessfully for the belts, TORU Takahara begins climbing up the other side of the ladder.

 

King: “Not so fast, Pete! If anybody can finish this one off with little to no effort, it’s TORU!”

 

Landon tries to climb to the sixth and final rung, only for TORU to catch him with a fist to the gut. TORU then continues to climb, reaching the fifth rung to make himself even with La Cucaracha. TORU and Landon then begin to exchange forearms at the top of the ladder, with TORU gaining the advantage. A hard forearm loosens Landon’s grip, and he begins to hang onto the ladder for dear life with merely one hand hanging on to the top of it. TORU then leans back and shouts. Leaning in, he tries to spray sake into Landon’s eyes…

 

King: “Sake mist!”

 

…but Landon puts his arm in front of his eyes to shield the burning alcohol, then spits into TORU’s face, covering his eyes in blood.

 

Pete: “And Landon countered with Blood Mist!!”

 

King: “What?”

 

A blinded TORU stumbles down off the ladder, just as Jay Hawke returns to the ring. As TORU tries to clear his eyes, he backs up right into Hawke…

 

Pete: “AND JAY HAWKE HAS TORU LOCKED IN THE WING SPAN!”

 

King: “Nooooooooooooooo! And KOJI’s still on the floor!”

 

KOJI begins to stand on the floor as Chris Card implores him to stop Landon. Landon steps onto the sixth rung as KOJI rolls into the ring. Landon reaches for the belts, and KOJI runs in and shoulder blocks the ladder….

 

 

 

*THUD*

 

 

 

…but KOJI’s a split-second too late, as Landon crashes to the mat with both title belts in his possession.

 

 

DINGDINGDING!

 

Pete: “And Cucaracha Internacional retains the World Tag Team Titles!”

 

King: “Luck! That’s all it was! Luck, pure and simple!”

 

Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, in 19 minutes 52 seconds … the winners of this contest … and still SWF World Tag Team Champions … JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY HAWWWWWWWWWWKE and LANNNNNNNNNNNNNDONNNNNNNNNNNNN MADDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX!”

 

Chris Card slams the mat in frustration as he buries his head in his arms.

 

King: “It can’t be, Pete. It simply can’t be.”

 

Pete: “After over a month, Landon Maddix and Jay Hawke will finally get to bring their championship belts home with them! What a classic matchup.”

 

King: “What you call a classic matchup I call a reason for the suicidal to go ahead and jump already.”

 

Pete: “Nonetheless, a tremendous matchup for the Tag Team Championships. Can the main event possibly top that? We’re only moments away from the battle for the World Heavyweight Championship!”

[Cuban Linx 0]

May as well post the meager effort i gave. I was going to write a 'normal' match but once i realised i had no chance of finishing i deleted what i had and used the match to practice writing a sort of semi-MMA match to see if i was any good at that (i'm not). Somewhere in here i also realied that i really cannot write for shit, but anyway:

 

= = = = =

 

“HE HAS NOT CONFESSED, HE HAS MADE NO STATEMENT, CHARGES OF MURDER HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED AGAINST HIM.”

 

Ashes To Ashes continues to the sounds of Fear Factory’s “Scapegoat”, though it does little to drown out the boos generated for the impending arrival of the Cruiserweight Champion.

 

LDP: “It’s now time for the first of three big Title matches tonight in the Tokyo Dome, as the resurgent Stryke is the latest to try and dethrone JJ Johnson from the top of the Cruiserweight Division.”

 

King: “He’s also about to be the latest in a long line of victims. Johnson has overcome every roadblock the SWF has thrown at him and I sincerely doubt the result tonight will be any different.”

 

The jeers escalate in volume as JJ Johnson walks out onto the stage, creating quite an imposing figure as he steps through the smoke billowing from the entrance, illuminated only by the flaming funeral pyres framing the stage. Johnson strides towards the ring paying little attention to the enormous crowd in attendance, focusing only on the match at hand and keeping possession of the belt around his waist as he climbs the ring steps and enters the ring. Johnson hops onto the second turnbuckle and holds the Cruiserweight Championship high as he extends his arms to the crowd, a glare that could kill across his face as he receives little love from the Japanese fans.

 

LDP: “It would seem Cucaracha Internacional is just as unpopular in Japan are they are in the States.”

 

King: “He’ll be even less popular after he demolishes another crowd favorite just a few moments from now. I’ll give Stryke some credit, he had a good win over Marcus Ward in his return and has beaten some of the best we’ve seen in the SWF, but he hasn’t been on a stage like this in a long time, nor has he faced an opponent of this calibre in just as long. Stryke’s in for a rude awakening if he expects anything less than the fight of his life tonight.”

 

Johnson goes through a few final stretches in preparation for the match as he looks back on the impressive stage set for his opponent’s arrival. He isn’t kept waiting long, Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill A Man” triggering a huge wall of pyrotechnics, as if the stage needed to be any more of a fire hazard, Stryke running out through the smoke a second later. The crowd cheers loudly for the challenger, Stryke slapping a few hands as he makes the long walk towards the ring, JJ Johnson’s eyes never leaving him as Stryke quickly slides into the ring and leans back onto the ropes, both men locking eyes and running through the match in their heads, Funyon’s introductions all that remains before the latest challenge to the Cruiserweight Championship begins.

 

Funyon: “Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is set for ONE FALL and is for the SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!!! First the challenger, weighing in at 230 pounds and hailing from Sydney, Australia, this is STRYKE!!!”

 

The crowd erupts for the Australian as the announcements are translated for the fans live in attendance, before settling down for the champion’s introduction.

 

Funyon: “Weighing in at 210 pounds from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, he is a member of CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL, and he is the REIGNING and DEFENDING SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, he is J… J… JOHNSON!!!!!”

 

As loud as the crowd cheered for Stryke they boo for Johnson, but at this point both men have all but blocked the crowd out of their minds, it’s all about the hefty piece of gold that Referee Matthew Kivell holds aloft to everyone in attendance before handing it out of the ring. The crowd is abuzz for the impending contest, and with the formalities out of the way a cheer goes up as Kivell signals for the bell!

 

DING DING DING!

 

Neither man reacts quickly; both methodically circling the other waiting to see if the other will make the first move. With neither keen to make a mistake they slowly move together, hands outstretched as they motion to lock up, but in the blink of an eye Stryke shoots forward and ROCKS Johnson with a punch straight to the face! Kivell motions to warn the Australian about closed fists but he doesn’t get a chance, both men SLUGGING it out back and forth to the roar of the crowd. Punches and forearms fly at a rapid pace, but as a Stryke swing misses Johnson drops down and puts the Australian on the canvas with a smooth single leg takedown. Not about to let the action slow down on the mat, Johnson dives through Stryke’s guard and CRACKS him on the point of the chin with a hard elbow! Johnson rears back and looks for the knockout blow, but he underestimated Stryke’s ability with the ground game, the Australian raising his legs and wrapping them around JJ’s incoming arm, the fans in a frenzy as Stryke looks to lock on a Triangle Choke!!

 

LDP: “A fast and furious opening to this title contest, both men foregoing any feeling out process and going right at it!”

 

King: “If Stryke is thinking about going head-to-head with JJ Johnson in the striking and mat games then this match will be over even quicker than I thought. Johnson has been a champion in MMA as well as wrestling, Stryke’s present strategy will only end with him knocked out or tapping out in very short order. Not that I’d complain about seeing that.”

 

Stryke struggles to get the hold locked in but JJ is not one to be trapped easily, standing and powerfully pulling his arm out of the clutches of Stryke, turning him over onto his stomach, diving on Stryke’s back and pounding away with a series of hard crossfaces! Quickfire rights and lefts find their target, Stryke covering up as best he can and managing to absorb the impact of the majority of blows, but JJ Johnson is always thinking three moves ahead, wrapping his arms around the challengers head and throat as he gets a Rear Naked Choke! As loud as the crowd cheered the attempted Triangle they boo now, the camera catching blood trickling out of Stryke’s freshly opened chin after the earlier elbow but that is little concern to him now as he struggles for breath, scratching and reaching with all his might to the nearest ropes which fortunately for him are within arms reach, Stryke grabbing hold of the bottom rope and forcing the break. Johnson obliges and releases the hold allowing Stryke to stand, rubbing his chin and throat as he prepares for round two.

 

LDP: “The ropes are all that saved Stryke there, JJ Johnson is one of the most skilled submission artists the SWF has seen and once he gets a hold locked in you aren’t getting out. Stryke needs to be very careful here, one mistake and Johnson can make you pay bigtime.”

 

Stryke and JJ Johnson move together again, and this time they do lockup together, the taller Stryke using his leverage to force Johnson back towards the turnbuckles. Not wanting to be trapped in the corner Johnson manages to slip out of Stryke’s grasp, circling behind him and latching on a rear waistlock before picking Stryke up and dropping him to the canvas. Johnson goes to drop back on top once more, but his momentary release of his opponent enables Stryke to quickly pop back to his feet, and as Johnson looks to go back on the attack he’s stopped in his tracks with a swift kick to the midsection! Stryke doesn’t relent, and utilises his greater range to pepper Johnson with kicks to the thighs, ducking back to avoid a combo of JJJ punches before SMACKING the side of his skull with a hard Jumping Enziguri! The crowd is up as one as the defending champion is noticeably shake on his feet, but Stryke climbs back to his feet and charges in a little recklessly, getting caught and DRIVEN to the ground with a nasty Belly To Belly Slam!

 

Johnson shakes out the cobwebs as Stryke is stunned by the impact, and Johnson doesn’t give him a moment to recover as he climbs on top for a full mount, straddling the Australian and swinging away with a BARRAGE of strikes to the head. Perspiration flies as Stryke is battered with punches, forearms, elbows and anything else Johnson can muster, Stryke covering up as best he can but several blows still find their way through. Becoming wearier after every successful hit and with zero chance of surviving Johnson’s relentless attack for much longer Stryke has no choice but to swing back, hitting nothing but air until a glancing blow connects with the throat of JJ, drawing several “oooh’s” from fans familiar with Johnson’s serious throat injury in the past. Johnson is caught off-guard by the blow, and that split-second gives Stryke the opportunity to make a desperate comeback, snatching Johnson’s arm and pulling him down into a Fujiwara Armbar! Stryke pulls back on the arm at a positively unnatural angle, Johnson yelling out as pain shoots through his appendage! Stryke twists and bends and stretches Johnson’s left arm anyway he can, the fans as loud as they have been all match as it looks like JJ Johnson might just tap out! Despite the pain of the hold Johnson grits his teeth, blocking out the pain as best he can as he pushes up with his other arm, releasing the pressure just enough for him to roll forward and out of the armbar! Stryke still has hold of JJ’s arm but not for long, the champion not messing around any longer as he damn near KNOCKS STRYKE’s HEAD OFF HIS SHOULDERS with the hardest Roundhouse Kick he can muster!

 

King: “What a kick by JJ Johnson! I’m sure you could hear that one right back in the cheap seats, he’s not a black-belt for nothing. If this match wasn’t a sure thing before you can put it in the record books now, this one is over!”

 

The crowd deflates as Stryke flops to the canvas like a dead fish, but Johnson is not satisfied yet and locks his legs around Stryke’s arm with his modified Juji-Gatame the FROSTBITE!!! With little resistance Johnson locks the hold on right, and just like all past victims of the hold Stryke has no choice but to immediately TAP OUT!!!

 

DING DING DING!

 

Funyon: “The winner of this match via SUBMISSION, and STILL SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION, J… J… JOHNSON!!!”

 

King: “What did I tell you, Stryke tried to take on JJ at his own game and failed miserably. Johnson’s title reign continues to march into record-setting territory, and Cucaracha Internacional picks up the first of two big wins tonight.”

 

LDP: “An impressive victory of JJ Johnson, but give Stryke credit for taking the fight right to the champ in a completely ground and strike-based contest, I don’t think a single pinfall was even attempted. It was more of a skirmish than an epic battle, but for the short length of time it went I doubt you’ll find a more action packed match up anywhere. And speaking of action packed, the highly anticipated Ladder Match for the SWF Tag Team Championship is up next, the native “TKO” team of TORU Takahara and KOJI Kitano challenging JJ Johnson’s stablemates Jay Hawke and Landon Maddix for the rightful ownership of the prized Tag Belts. I guarantee you don’t want to miss this one!”