PROMO: Two steps forward...

[Guest Joseph Peters]

Shortly after Lockdown went off the air...

 

*BANG*

 

 

 

 

 

 

*BANG*

 

 

 

 

 

 

*BANG*

 

 

 

"I really don't think it's that bad, sir."

 

 

Joseph Peters takes a quick break from slamming his head into the wall and turns around to face the group of staffers in his office, particularly the too-spunky-for-his-own-good intern.

 

 

"I mean, it wasn't in the arena, so the rules didn't apply, right?"

 

 

Joseph sighs, pulls a small notepad out of his pocket, and tosses it to the kid.

 

 

"Thanks for volunteering," says Peters.

 

 

"What's this?"

 

 

"A list of all of the parents, watchdog groups, and sponsors that we just gave the middle finger to. You're going to call them, and you're going to apologize."

 

 

"What? Bu-but I- what do I say?"

 

 

"Doesn't matter to me."

 

 

"But I-you-... I- I think you would be the best choice for this sort of thing."

 

 

Joseph sighs again, and falls back into his chair.

 

 

"Therein lies the problem - I don't know what to tell them either."

 

 

It's obvious what he's leading into, but everyone in the room remains deathly quiet.

 

 

"If I called them," Peters continues, "they would ask me 'Peter, what the hell happened?' And that is a question I cannot answer, since I myself have no goddamn idea WHAT HAPPENED!"

 

 

A glass bowl of jellybeans kindly removes itself from Peters' desk by way of being thrown into the wall. A few of the more courageous staffers consider helping themselves, but decide against it.

 

 

"So tell me, guys..." Peters leans forward, his face a cruel parody of concern...

 

 

"What happened?"

 

 

"Well, I thought it wa-"

"The Lockdown card was lat-"

"Some moron messed up the schedu-"

"Were those Jelly Belly?"

 

 

Joseph's hand goes up. The room goes quiet...

 

 

...except for the chewing of a few jelly bellies...

 

 

... finally, one man steps forward.

 

 

"S-sir, it, uh... the, the booking committee has been shuffled a bit, as you know, and it appears that in the confusion, no one took the time to properly explain the Family Friendly rules."

 

 

"How much explaining do they need?!" Joseph shouts, popping out of his chair again and pounding the desk. "FAMILY. FRIENDLY. TV-PG. WARM AND FUZZY."

 

 

"Yes sir, but uh... well... it was thought that a Hide and Seek match might make a good Family Friendly stipulation, but I guess... well..."

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

Talking stops. Jellybean chewing stops. Breathing slows dramatically.

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

"So," Peters growls through gritting teeth, "that's how the card got messed up. But did no one here bother to question it? Not the camera man, not Pete or King, not even Landon or Bruce?! It didn't occur to ANYONE here that this might be a bad idea?!"

 

 

Peters takes a remote control off his desk and swings around to point it at the TV hanging on the wall. With a couple of button presses, footage from the Hardcore Title match on Lockdown comes up: Blank's bloodied face being blurred out, Blank's constant drinking, Bruce nearly getting caught on fire...

 

 

"The Ultraviolent Title," Joseph scoffs. "We just had a match for a barb-wire wrapped championship belt, in a bar, with alcohol consumption, graphic violence, attempted murder, and over $10,000 in property damages, on Family Friendly Lockdown."

 

 

He turns to the intern.

 

 

"And you don't think it's that bad?"

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

"I can't dodge these calls forever, guys... what are we doing to fix this?"

 

 

"We've got six people checking and rechecking every card from here on in. The Family Friendly rules have been clearly explained to every member of the booking committee, and will be posted at all arenas, and regularly circulated amongst the crew. And I've already spoken to Maddix."

 

 

"Not Blank?"

 

 

"Not yet."

 

 

"Don't. I'll talk to him myself."

 

 

"Sir?"

 

 

Once again, Joseph sighs, and sinks back into his chair. He makes no attempt to hide his sarcasm.

 

 

"I have to show the concerned parents that I am doing everything I can to protect the children. What kind of CEO would I be if I simply delegated that authority?"

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

"Ok, everybody out."

 

 

Everyone quickly files out. The intern begins to speak, but six different hands clap over his mouth and drag him out the door.

 

 

 

*ringringringring*

 

 

 

 

*ringringring-*

 

*CLICK*

 

"Hello?"

[Justice 0]

This promo proves, single-handedly, that I am the greatest booker that ever was.

 

And this could be an interesting turn of events...

[JHawk 0]

I'm afraid.

 

Very afraid.

[Toxxic 0]

No Family Friendly Rules means less rules for TKO to break. And that's a bad thing.

 

And incidently, why the hell is there a Joseph Peters profile? What happened to good ol' fashioned Chuck Woolery?

[Chuck Woolery 0]

How do you think I felt when I logged on last night to discover that I had made the most recent post? And not my board name, but my actual name?

 

Surreal shit. But damn, I'm one hell of a promo-writer.

[Toxxic 0]

Ha ha. Zed pwns j00.

[the.weej 0]

Why yes, I do believe I remain the only one wearing the crown of, "Only head booker to personally involve themselves in an angle and have it not suck, but rule 18 different kinds of ass."

 

-Z

[janusd 0]

Why yes, I do believe I remain the only one wearing the crown of, "Only head booker to personally involve themselves in an angle and have it not suck, but rule 18 different kinds of ass."

 

-Z

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

Including mine!

 

*rimshot*