PROMO: Adjustments

[King Cucaracha 0]

Having finally agreed to let his Cucaracha Internacional team-mates re-invent him as a new, improved wrestler, Landon Maddix arrives at the Cleveland training facility that Jay Hawke likes to call home...or, a second home at least...with a great deal of trepidation. Which means worry, for all you non-educateds out there. This is the beginning of a new era for Landon. And obviously, he's nervous. All this talk of Wristlocks and STFs and Stretched Plums is completely new to him. Now, he's got to put it into practice. So, taking a deep breath, Landon takes a last look at the Old Landon before entering the training room.

 

"So, what's this then?" asks Maddix as he walks into the room, to find Hawke and JJ hunched over a TV. "Slacking off already are we?"

 

"Far from it." smiles Hawke in responce. "We're scouting."

 

Confused, Maddix glances at the TV screen...noticing that he is on the screen and his teammates are busy scouring through a stack of videos. Maddix picks up one of the videos, noting the label, "'Best' of Maddix 2004 Jan-Jun" before placing it back on the stack. As he does, Maddix finally notices what Hawke and JJ are actually doing. In Hawke's lap sits a pad of paper, a pen stuck between his teeth as he muses. Beside him, JJ suddenly points at the screen and without a word, Hawke takes the pen and jots something down on the pad. Of which, almost half the page is full. On the TV screen meanwhile, the match just happens to be Toxxic versus Landon Maddix and Landon just happens to have finished off the Straight Edge Sensation to win the World Title. Which in real time brings a grin to Landon's face...until Hawke and JJ switch off the video and turn to him.

 

"That thing I did at the end was great, eh?"

 

"Mmmm..." Hawke replies, without a hint of agreement.

 

"So, you managed to get a few notes then? I just want you two to know, before you go any further, I really appreciate you two doing this for me and I'm willing and ready to learn and change in any way. So give it to me straight...what do you think."

 

Hawke adjusts his notepad and, much to Landon's horror, turns back the page he was writing on to reveal he and JJ have already filled two full pages with notes. Giving his team-mates a nervous laugh, Maddix decides he'd best pull up a chair. This could take a while.

 

 

**HALF AN HOUR LATER**

 

 

"...and the way you actually work the neck, WHEN you do, is a little too...'elaborate'." Hawke continues, seemingly in the middle of a rather long lecture. Sat in front, Maddix is just about staying awake, mainly through despair than interest. "You don't control your opponent enough. Rather than use holds to work the neck, you rely on headdrops and DDT variations. You're going the long way around and not very efficiently."

 

"Right."

 

"And, that's about it."

 

"I see." smiles Maddix in relief. "And you got all that from one tape? Very...thorough."

 

"Well, that's just the beginning. We've picked out some flaws..."

 

"Some?" scoffs Maddix.

 

"...now we have to consider what action to take. You're not a lost cause by any means though."

 

"Oh, that's good to hear."

 

 

Flicking through his notepad, Hawke finds the page he wants, ignoring Maddix's sarcastic quip.

 

"Okay...you have some decent forearms and you can chop. So, JJ will give you a few pointers on how to improve them and work on your kicks, which are a little weak, but could be a valuable asset to someone of your size and agility. The main area we need to work on is clearly your technical ability. Now, JJ can give you a few pointers from his Ultimate Fighter days I'm sure. I can help you with your chain wrestling a little, which needs some work. Infact, quite a bit."

 

"Nobody ever won a match with a headlock." protests Maddix.

 

"I will focus on some more 'punishing' submission holds as well. That way, you can still work the neck, towards the Land Of Nod. I suggest you get rid of that ridiculous move you do off the ropes while you're at it."

 

"The Crash Landon?"

 

"Yes...that." Hawke shudders.

 

"But, I've used that my entire career!"

 

"And it's shoddy at best."

 

Groaning, Maddix throws up his hands conceding defeat.

 

"A lot of your more 'flashy' offence should go too. A high-flying move, used in moderation, can be valuable, but you should really cut down a little. Also, a lot of your 'impact' moves can be canned. Some of them are much too much about showmanship and not enough about damage. That dive you stole from Taka Michinoku, for a start. Too risky, not enough pay-off."

 

"Anything else?"

 

"Yes. You need to get more serious if you want these changes to have a mental effect. For starters, your ring attire. Wrestling in shorts may be acceptable for training but it doesn't give off a good impression in the ring. We'll get you some proper ring gear. And some kickpads, if you're going to be improving your kicks. Don't worry, you can still bootscrape with them. You could do with putting some more muscle on now that I think about it. Nothing over the top, just a little more physique."

 

Maddix glances down at himself, wondering what's wrong with his current body, offended.

 

"And the hair needs to go."

 

And now, Hawke has crossed the line.

 

"..."

 

"Stopping mid-match to fiddle with your hair isn't very intimidating."

 

"..."

 

"And the floppy, girly locks haven't been fashionable for years."

 

"..."

 

Landon still doesn't seem convinced and wipes the hair from his eyes, in a weak attempt to make it seem less floppy.

 

"...so, let me get this straight. You want me to cut my hair, so that I look more intimidating?"

 

"Well, maybe not 'intimidating'. think of it more as..."

 

"Less girly?" JJ finally chimes in.

 

"I think I liked it better when you didn't talk." scowls Maddix, still reeling from the suggestion his precious locks be chopped off. "Jay, are you sure about this?"

 

Hawke nods.

 

"Well, it sure worked for Samson." Maddix sneers sarcastically, before again conceding defeat. "I must be insane...but fine. Consider it gone."

 

 

*BBZZZZZZTT!*

 

Good job JJ has the hair clippers ready and waiting then, eh?

 

"No time like the present." smiles Hawke, as Maddix clasps his hands over his head fearfully.

 

"I may be insane, but I'm not THAT insane. If anyone's going to start hacking away at my hair, it's going to be a professionally trained hairdresser."

 

"Fine...but you're paying."

[JJ Johnson 0]

"Nobody ever won a match with a headlock." protests Maddix.

 

 

*cough*Jun Akiyama*cough*

 

 

Excuse me. I've had a nasty cold.

 

 

And both of these promos have been great. Two of the more sadistic men in the fed, given someone who wants to learn submissions and strikes by any means necessary = ratings.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

"Okay, Landon. You see this flippy thing you did here? Yeah? Don't do that."

[Bruce Blank 0]

Two of the more sadistic men in the fed, given someone who wants to learn submissions and strikes by any means necessary = ratings.

Submission & Strikes = Lost on 90% of the american audience, which is a sad fact.

 

You know I never really saw the Hawkester as "Sadistic" and Joey Joe Johnson Shabadoo Jr well Sadistic isn't the term I would have ascribed to him either but maybe that's just me

 

Shame I don't have a protoge or a stable mate I can teach how to "wrestle" using only a steel chair and a beer - none of that fansy-schmansy headlockery but well Blank doesn't bathe so he tends to spend most of his time alone

 

and in closing: Great promo, if we face again it'll have to be a totally different match write up

 

in closing part two: No "Cucaracha" mask and split ethnicitity gimmick? for shame

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

......

 

 

 

 

What the hell are you talking about?

[Bruce Blank 0]

I’ll presume you’re talking to me Holla-wood

 

So what do I mean when I never considered Hawke or JJJ to be “Sadistic”?? …. Hmmm yes what could I have meant by that??

 

Or maybe it was my cryptic message about how 90% of the American fans don’t appreciate submission wrestling or strikes – a more Japanese way of working a match compared to say the WWE or TNA or even 90% of the indies out there… yes that’s a moooostery what I meant by that

 

Or was it the part where I made a joke about how the same scenario would go down with Bruce as the teacher? It’s already been established that you don’t get my sense of humor so I ain’t even going to try.

 

Now if you’re confused about my “great promo” comment – then well I thought that this promo (look it’s up at the top of this thread) was… well

 

Great

 

If you don’t know what the “Split Ethnicity” gimmick is check this out

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?showtopic=74602

 

All clear now Spike-a-rooni? or do I get out the alphabetti-spagetti and spell it out in big, sloppy pasta letters?

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

I’ll presume you’re talking to me Holla-wood

 

Or maybe it was my cryptic message about how 90% of the American fans don’t appreciate submission wrestling or strikes – a more Japanese way of working a match compared to say the WWE or TNA or even 90% of the indies out there… yes that’s a moooostery what I meant by that

 

All clear now Spike-a-rooni? or do I get out the alphabetti-spagetti and spell it out in big, sloppy pasta letters?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

Four words. "American Dragon" Bryan Danielson.

 

 

Two words. Strong Style.

 

 

You have no idea what us American fans appreciate considering you AREN'T AN AMERICAN FAN.

 

 

 

 

And you're petty insults make me laugh. Har har.

[Bruce Blank 0]

So Bryan Danielson uses the style .... you know you're right about that, but so what? is he a "ratings grabber?" does he draw 5-6000 people houses?

 

That style appeals to a limited section of the fans, hell a limited section of the fans even SEE Danielson wrestle at all

 

Strong Style as a ratings grabber is an oppinion at most since it's not backed up by any facts, there is no evidence that it's true

 

I don't want to argue with you, I honestly just don't care enough - so here is the deal, show me where it's been proven that the Submission/Strikes style is a ratings grabber anywhere in the United States

 

if you do that then I'll be happy to admit I'm wrong.

 

Anything else will be ignored

[King Cucaracha 0]

So Bryan Danielson uses the style .... you know you're right about that, but so what? is he a "ratings grabber?" does he draw 5-6000 people houses?

 

Who draws 5-6000 houses anymore.

 

Besides me, because this is my promo and stuff so yeah let's talk about that and nothing else so I can mark out for myself and stuff.

 

 

EDIT: Joe/Kobashi must have drawn a strong crowd, at least for ROH.

Edited November 24, 2005 by King Cucaracha

[Bruce Blank 0]

because this is my promo and stuff so yeah let's talk about that and nothing else so I can mark out for myself and stuff.

Landon am the Strong Stylez killa!!

 

and in addition to that he rocks should have called that one :landon: instead

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

So Bryan Danielson uses the style .... you know you're right about that, but so what? is he a "ratings grabber?" does he draw 5-6000 people houses?

 

That style appeals to a limited section of the fans, hell a limited section of the fans even SEE Danielson wrestle at all

 

Strong Style as a ratings grabber is an oppinion at most since it's not backed up by any facts, there is no evidence that it's true

 

I don't want to argue with you, I honestly just don't care enough - so here is the deal, show me where it's been proven that the Submission/Strikes style is a ratings grabber anywhere in the United States

 

if you do that then I'll be happy to admit I'm wrong.

 

Anything else will be ignored

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

 

1) Like Landon said, who draws 5-6000 crowds anymore?

 

2) Strong Style is a ratings grabber as you can see by IWA: MS. The Samoa Joe/Roderick Strong match from last years TPI was considered a great example of a strong style match and was praised as the best match at the show. IWA:MS even held a Strong Style Tournament, which I'm sure sold a good amount of tapes that they brought it back again this year.

 

4) Proving Submission/Strikes style is a ratings grabber? Well, look at any Indy fed out there today. ROH, IWA MS, PWG. All with their hybrid wrestling, which is mostly submissions and strikes.

 

 

Admit it.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Alright then show me how cards that have Strong Style competitors in key matches tend to always outdraw shows that do NOT have Strong Style competitors instead of who draws 5-6000 people. (shows put on by the same federation otherwise it's hard to compare) if it's such a "draw" then matches with these practitioners must outdraw cards without them right?

 

IWA: MS... who has how many fans out of the total number of fans in America? I'd be less than 10% (which would make my estimate of about 90% of the US fans not really even "getting" the style - cause they're not even exposed to it and wouldn't be drawn in by that alone)

 

4) Proving Submission/Strikes style is a ratings grabber? Well, look at any Indy fed out there today. ROH, IWA MS, PWG. All with their hybrid wrestling, which is mostly submissions and strikes

"any" - and you just mention 3 where granted RoH is one probably the top of them all, but that's far from representative of all indy feds (hell RoH was founded on being DIFFERENT than most indy feds with their approach to in ring action) most Indy feds that I have seen (either live or downloaded videos from) rely more on CW spot action than anything, and then sprinkle in the occational "strong style" performer

 

but "mostly"? that's an exagaration and a half

 

so what's to admit?

[Bruce Blank 0]

Okay before this spins off in some ugly "Bruce hates Strong Style" type of direction let me remind you what I originally said that got Holla-wood all misty eyed

 

Submission & Strikes = Lost on 90% of the american audience, which is a sad fact

now you can argue if the RoH fans of IWA:MSNBC fans or whatever like the Strong Style or if it draws more than RoH shows without strong style

 

But don't tell me the average WWE or TNA fan (who make up the MAJORITY of the wrestling fans out there) has any kind of appriciation for submission style wrestling.

 

The same fans that chanted "Boring" at Lance Storm

 

The same fans who pop for any move the Rock bungles and so on

 

so it doesn't matter if you drag out how Super Munjecho Jr Vs James Blunt drew good crowds for the XPY fed - because we're talking minorities here that would fall within the 10% of the US fan base that actually appriciates the Strong Style matches.

 

Thank you and good day

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

Ignorance is an ugly thing.

[Toxxic 0]

I'm going to stick my nose in here and point out that anyone claiming that ignorance is an ugly thing would do well not to number his points '1, 2, 4'. Just a little observation, Spike.

 

And Bruce, I appreciate that you and Spike have had a history of calling each other names, but I think this whole thing might have gone a little nicer if your first response to him hadn't been laden with enough sarcasm to sink the entire US fleet. Just sometimes, two people can disagree about something without trying to make the other person look like a moron.

 

And finally, both of you can take this elsewhere -say, General Wrestling?- because this promo should be about LANDON, who has written yet another brilliant promo about his character's development. And seriously, the chemistry between the members of CI (even if Landon is writing them all) is great. The only problem I'd have is that J3 and Hawke seem awfully friendly for two guys who were fighting and betraying each other at the end of the Battle Royale.

[JHawk 0]

The only problem I'd have is that J3 and Hawke seem awfully friendly for two guys who were fighting and betraying each other at the end of the Battle Royale.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

 

The key to that is "at the end of the battle royale". What were we supposed to do, flip a coin? This isn't WWF circa 1982.

[King Cucaracha 0]

What happened to Sheriff Kibagami?

[Bruce Blank 0]

And Bruce, I appreciate that you and Spike have had a history of calling each other names, but I think this whole thing might have gone a little nicer if your first response to him hadn't been laden with enough sarcasm to sink the entire US fleet.

Yep it would have

 

then again if Spike had pointed out which of my statements he getting all "moody blues" about it would have been nice too - but hey we don't live in a perfect world, I'm the first guy to admit that

 

and I can't believe I'm arguing over fucking Strong Style unreal - resume the Landon love, he deserves it after all

 

Cause Landon Rocks

 

Ohio-io-io-io

/Drew Carey

[muzz 0]

Who really cares?

 

This was a good promo.

[Toxxic 0]

What happened to Sheriff Kibagami?

 

 

He returned with promise and attitude, then forgot about it and no-showed since then. Come on, it's Kibagami - what did you think was going to happen?