Sandman9000 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 samoa jake 1 (12:54:03 AM): in order to keep piss from leaving, we're gonna get alfdogg banned OAOAST Hoff (12:54:11 AM): wait, what? OAOAST Hoff (12:54:14 AM): I mean Im for it samoa jake 1 (12:54:28 AM): not just from tsm, but the entire internet OAOAST Hoff (12:54:37 AM): wow! samoa jake 1 (12:57:55 AM): however, it will require every single thing you own OAOAST Hoff (12:58:29 AM): worth it samoa jake 1 (12:58:51 AM): first, you have to stick everything you own into a woodchipper with a blender on the other side OAOAST Hoff (12:59:08 AM): done samoa jake 1 (12:59:15 AM): that was quick OAOAST Hoff (12:59:56 AM): I work fast samoa jake 1 (1:00:06 AM): are you sure you're not homeless? OAOAST Hoff (1:00:41 AM): ...... OAOAST Hoff (1:00:44 AM): I have a computer OAOAST Hoff (1:00:49 AM): and...an ethernet cable OAOAST Hoff (1:00:52 AM): and....a hat OAOAST Hoff (1:00:54 AM): so I live in the hat samoa jake 1 (1:01:18 AM): so the computer and ethernet cable went through the woodchipper OAOAST Hoff (1:01:25 AM): ........wait OAOAST Hoff (1:01:33 AM): no I...stole them OAOAST Hoff (1:01:40 AM): so I'm on the computer still samoa jake 1 (1:01:46 AM): do you own the woodchipper? OAOAST Hoff (1:01:56 AM): .......y--no OAOAST Hoff (1:01:59 AM): no. samoa jake 1 (1:02:26 AM): good, otherwise i was gonna ask how you got the woodchipper through the woodchipper samoa jake 1 (1:03:06 AM): now, is the blender somewhat full? OAOAST Hoff (1:03:24 AM): I don't have a blender. OAOAST Hoff (1:03:29 AM): I have....blacktop... samoa jake 1 (1:03:33 AM): why not? OAOAST Hoff (1:03:45 AM): I....well I have a computer. OAOAST Hoff (1:03:51 AM): and an ethernet cable.... samoa jake 1 (1:03:56 AM): sigh OAOAST Hoff (1:03:57 AM): and I had a hat but...you know. samoa jake 1 (1:04:03 AM): can you "borrow" a blender then? OAOAST Hoff (1:04:12 AM): sure OAOAST Hoff (1:04:19 AM): okay done samoa jake 1 (1:04:36 AM): now, scrape up everything that went through the woodchipper into the blender OAOAST Hoff (1:04:45 AM): done samoa jake 1 (1:04:59 AM): it might be a little pulpy, so puree it all up OAOAST Hoff (1:05:18 AM): got it samoa jake 1 (1:05:38 AM): now, you've got a half-dozen syringes, right? OAOAST Hoff (1:06:11 AM): of course! samoa jake 1 (1:06:41 AM): put your pureed possessions into the syringes OAOAST Hoff (1:07:09 AM): k samoa jake 1 (1:07:24 AM): now, this is going to be the tough part samoa jake 1 (1:07:33 AM): you...you need to eat a car OAOAST Hoff (1:07:36 AM): was I supposed to....... OAOAST Hoff (1:07:37 AM): wait OAOAST Hoff (1:07:39 AM): ..... OAOAST Hoff (1:07:44 AM): do I need to eat ANOTHER car? samoa jake 1 (1:07:46 AM): not just any car, but a car that seats 7 OAOAST Hoff (1:07:53 AM): .....still a valid question samoa jake 1 (1:07:57 AM): so, like an escalade or something OAOAST Hoff (1:08:05 AM): Navigator ok? samoa jake 1 (1:08:13 AM): how's the gas mileage? OAOAST Hoff (1:08:30 AM): ....I don't know. it gave ME some gas samoa jake 1 (1:08:40 AM): how long ago was the car eating? OAOAST Hoff (1:08:55 AM): about an hour samoa jake 1 (1:09:04 AM): geez. i don't know samoa jake 1 (1:09:14 AM): you might want to go ahead and eat another car, just to be on the safe side samoa jake 1 (1:09:24 AM): remember, this isn't about you or me, this is about piss, and finally banning alf OAOAST Hoff (1:09:52 AM): yeah, you're right. OAOAST Hoff (1:09:58 AM): for the common good. OAOAST Hoff (1:10:01 AM): one sec samoa jake 1 (1:13:29 AM): WELL? samoa jake 1 (1:18:18 AM): h000000000000f... OAOAST Hoff (1:18:27 AM): okay....done. samoa jake 1 (1:18:39 AM): at least i'm sure you chewed samoa jake 1 (1:19:25 AM): so now we have a half-dozen syringes filled with all of your worldly possessions, and you've eaten a large automobile, right? OAOAST Hoff (1:19:30 AM): right samoa jake 1 (1:20:14 AM): now, this one comes directly from piss, so don't yell at me about it, ok? OAOAST Hoff (1:20:31 AM): ok samoa jake 1 (1:20:38 AM): we.....we have to.... samoa jake 1 (1:20:42 AM): christ, i can't believe this samoa jake 1 (1:20:48 AM): this is for piss, this is for piss samoa jake 1 (1:20:55 AM): we have to get......cwm.....a college degree OAOAST Hoff (1:21:00 AM): I'm out. samoa jake 1 (1:21:05 AM): and not just a college degree, but a master's degree OAOAST Hoff (1:21:09 AM): pffffffft samoa jake 1 (1:21:11 AM): and say that he's smarter then us OAOAST Hoff (1:21:21 AM): well I mean I can lie, sure OAOAST Hoff (1:21:28 AM): but CWM, a college degree? samoa jake 1 (1:21:32 AM): yeah, we can easily lie to his face samoa jake 1 (1:21:41 AM): i don't know how we're gonna get a college dgree samoa jake 1 (1:21:48 AM): how fast does that university of phoenix work? OAOAST Hoff (1:21:55 AM): it IS online...... samoa jake 1 (1:22:28 AM): do they have master's? samoa jake 1 (1:22:43 AM): think it might be possible to print out a fake degree in photoshop or paint or something? OAOAST Hoff (1:22:51 AM): I got it samoa jake 1 (1:22:59 AM): excellent samoa jake 1 (1:23:05 AM): heh heh. piss underestimated our brilliance samoa jake 1 (1:24:34 AM): done yet? OAOAST Hoff (1:24:42 AM): one min samoa jake 1 (1:24:59 AM): last time you said that it took almost ten OAOAST Hoff (1:25:17 AM): http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v342/hoffv1/degree.jpg samoa jake 1 (1:25:32 AM): perfect OAOAST Hoff (1:25:41 AM): pretty authentic, eh? samoa jake 1 (1:25:42 AM): ok, let me check the list here OAOAST Hoff (1:25:44 AM): k samoa jake 1 (1:26:03 AM): possessions, check, syringes, check, car, check, degree, check, gonna just say we did the man secks, so check OAOAST Hoff (1:26:17 AM): good call samoa jake 1 (1:26:27 AM): yeah, part of piss' list is that we have secks with each other samoa jake 1 (1:26:34 AM): i'm just gonna tell everyone we did OAOAST Hoff (1:26:38 AM): yeah we did that, you were catcher samoa jake 1 (1:26:42 AM): follow my lead if people question us OAOAST Hoff (1:26:51 AM): yeah okay you were the bitch though samoa jake 1 (1:26:54 AM): actually...his list said you were on bottom samoa jake 1 (1:26:56 AM): sorry OAOAST Hoff (1:26:59 AM): ! OAOAST Hoff (1:27:01 AM): it did not samoa jake 1 (1:27:12 AM): we didn't even do it, so stop bitching samoa jake 1 (1:27:15 AM): this is for piss, remember? OAOAST Hoff (1:27:17 AM): :-( OAOAST Hoff (1:27:18 AM): ok samoa jake 1 (1:27:28 AM): remember, if he questions us, let me do the talking OAOAST Hoff (1:27:38 AM): k samoa jake 1 (1:27:43 AM): so, the last item on the list is to go over to alf's house OAOAST Hoff (1:27:48 AM): k samoa jake 1 (1:27:56 AM): and cut his power lines samoa jake 1 (1:28:24 AM): piss figures that no one knows how to repair things in indiana, so if we break something expensive and important, and can run away fast enough, he'll never get back on the intarweb OAOAST Hoff (1:28:48 AM): nice samoa jake 1 (1:29:02 AM): i guess that's why you had to eat a car samoa jake 1 (1:29:07 AM): no, wait, piss included bus fare OAOAST Hoff (1:29:12 AM): tight samoa jake 1 (1:29:13 AM): that's rather nice of him samoa jake 1 (1:29:18 AM): we should thank him for that later OAOAST Hoff (1:29:43 AM): yep samoa jake 1 (1:30:17 AM): so, do we have anything to cut the power with? OAOAST Hoff (1:30:31 AM): syringes? samoa jake 1 (1:30:45 AM): i don't think that will work samoa jake 1 (1:30:52 AM): we can try samoa jake 1 (1:32:10 AM): we there yet? OAOAST Hoff (1:32:21 AM): yes? samoa jake 1 (1:32:32 AM): did the syringes work? OAOAST Hoff (1:32:59 AM): no :-( samoa jake 1 (1:33:04 AM): fucknuts samoa jake 1 (1:33:22 AM): we need something big and sharp OAOAST Hoff (1:33:40 AM): MY PENI5! samoa jake 1 (1:33:51 AM): um, fear of electrocution? OAOAST Hoff (1:34:03 AM): nope samoa jake 1 (1:34:14 AM): well, if you put it like that... OAOAST Hoff (1:34:50 AM): *SCHLONG* samoa jake 1 (1:35:11 AM): did it work? OAOAST Hoff (1:35:31 AM): nope OAOAST Hoff (1:35:33 AM): felt good tho samoa jake 1 (1:35:35 AM): um samoa jake 1 (1:35:59 AM): well, that's great and, um, all samoa jake 1 (1:36:05 AM): but we still need to cut alf's power supply OAOAST Hoff (1:36:08 AM): *shrug* samoa jake 1 (1:36:19 AM): you just wanna chew through it? OAOAST Hoff (1:36:24 AM): okay! OAOAST Hoff (1:36:28 AM): *chomp* OAOAST Hoff (1:36:32 AM): *chomp* OAOAST Hoff (1:36:35 AM): *CHOMP* OAOAST Hoff (1:36:39 AM): bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... OAOAST Hoff (1:36:42 AM): got it! samoa jake 1 (1:37:02 AM): and the final, final step is to burn down his house samoa jake 1 (1:37:05 AM): i've got this covered samoa jake 1 (1:37:14 AM): seems awfully mean of piss, but i'll do it OAOAST Hoff (1:37:19 AM): go for it samoa jake 1 (1:37:34 AM): ::YOGA FLAME:: OAOAST Hoff (1:37:40 AM): YEAH! samoa jake 1 (1:37:59 AM): WE WIN! OAOAST Hoff (1:38:05 AM): WOOT! samoa jake 1 (1:38:07 AM): NO MORE ALF AND PISS WON'T LEAVE! samoa jake 1 (1:38:09 AM): wait, there's more OAOAST Hoff (1:38:11 AM): YES! OAOAST Hoff (1:38:12 AM): wait OAOAST Hoff (1:38:14 AM): ok? samoa jake 1 (1:38:23 AM): we have to say the name of bob barron three times each samoa jake 1 (1:38:26 AM): that's....odd samoa jake 1 (1:38:28 AM): but ok samoa jake 1 (1:38:37 AM): bob barron bob barron bob barron OAOAST Hoff (1:38:47 AM): bob barron bob barron bob barron samoa jake 1 (1:39:11 AM): i don't know what that will do, other then cause barron to come in and flame us. but he's a hater anyway samoa jake 1 (1:39:26 AM): so, just gotta let piss know. samoa jake 1 (1:39:27 AM): ok? OAOAST Hoff (1:39:32 AM): opk samoa jake 1 (1:40:01 AM): make a new thread, or post in the one you made OAOAST Hoff (1:40:09 AM): you do it samoa jake 1 (1:40:25 AM): new thread then Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
geniusMoment 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 I read the first two lines, but I just do not have the attention span to read a post that long. Next time condence it into a couple of sentences. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sandman9000 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 Don't think you're living up to your name there, sparky. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Failed Bridge 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 I don't think people truly realise the ramifications of a world without Alf. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Art Sandusky 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 The things I miss. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Team Angle Pusher 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 It was funny, it made me laugh. Thanks for that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 Black Lushus thinks Hoff uses too many ellipses Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 yeah really, stop stealing my gimmick, hoff... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nl5xsk1 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 Gimmick poster, ban plz Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Team Angle Pusher 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 yeah really, stop stealing my gimmick, hoff... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Â You lost your gimmick. Steal it back Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slayer 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 Lushus would just sell it for a couple rocks Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Black Lushus 0 Report post Posted November 30, 2005 heh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sideburnious 0 Report post Posted December 2, 2005 *claps* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tekcop 0 Report post Posted December 2, 2005 That was entertaing. Good job, boys. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
