RAW Spoilers from Afghanistan

[Guest JMA]

Any theories on exactly why Shelton is getting the jobber push? Are they expecting the fans to give him sympathy heat?

[haVoc 0]

WWE Raw Taping Results From Afghanistan (SPOILERS)

 

All of the action for the December 19th Edition of Raw!

 

We had this sent into us by a member of the Army that was in live attendance. Special thanks to them.

 

pre-show:

 

Okay, let me preface this by saying this was on of the worst days of my life. That being said, I had an incredible time, it was truly a once in a lifetime experience, and I hope they come back next year, cuz I know I will.

 

I got to the location about 3 1/2 hours early, and there were MAYBE 30 people in front of me in line. So time went by really fast, we got to see all the wrestlers come in, and HHH (and only HHH), came out and walked down the line and shook every single persons hand, which at this point was about 500 people. When he got to me and my buddy, Sgt. Allende, he stopped and pointed out Allende's sign "I came all the way from Italy to see RAW". Trips asked him if he really flew in from Italy just for today, Allende says "No, but I'm pretending" and Trips says "Badass"

 

Now this is where it starts getting shitty. I'm in line for 3 1/2 hours, and my arm is killing me because of my small pox vaccine(Check Raw & Uncensored) and then so MP comes out and just lest everyone got running in, so I waited for that long for nothing, and to make matters worse, We get to the stage, and there already 1000 people there. WHAT THE FUCK!!!!

 

Ok, so I'm standing, cuz there were no chairs, and I see my buddy Miguel on the other side of the guard-plywood I guess. He told the WWE security guys that he was a camp photographer, so they let him hop over the guardrail and take pictures ringside, backstage and along the ramp. he took over 1000 photos (see Meehan's column next Tuesday).

 

Lots of Troops camera time before the show, and I held up my "WCF 4 Life" sign many times before and during the show, until the wind picked up and destroyed all my signs. Hope you guys manage to see it at least once!

 

Ok, showtime..

 

"No Chance" plays and the flightline explodes when Vinny Mac powerwalks down to the ring. He gets on the mic and tells us how he came for us, and how the media completely ignores Afghanistan. But since we're good Soldiers, he even convinced Santa to swing by! He also said something about Santa giving the media a "big bag of reindeer poop" (quote). He introduces Lilian Garcia, who sings the Star Spangled Banner, and makes me cry. It was amazing.

 

"I Spit in the Face, of people who don't want to be cool!!!"

 

Carlito comes out to the HUGE pop, especially from the huge group of Puerto Rican soldiers behind be. That wears of soon, though, and we all do what Vince wants us to do and boo him like good little fans. His opponent is the Big Show. Starts out with big guys little guy action, I couldn't see anything they did on the mat. At one point, Carlito locked Show in a sleeper, which he cleverly reversed using the dreaded "Afro-Lock" (HA!), and slammed Carlito. Show went for a chokeslam, but Carlito escaped. After more big guy little guy action, Carlito comes of the top rope into a chokeslam, and Show gets the 3.

 

Next, Lilian (she was wearing this pink midriff and skirt, and looked very hot) stood and looked sexy for a minute before The Coach came out and introduced "Santa."

 

We get JBL in the worst Santa beard I've ever seen, but his cammo Santa suit was very funny. So, he starts yelling about how Afghanistan sucks and we have no beer and all the troops have been bad little soldiers. So, he cancels X-Mas, New Years, Valentines Day, St. Patricks Day, Mardi Gras, Bastille Day, Oktoberfest, and every other holiday you can think of.

 

But then Santa's music plays, and we get the REAL Santa, which of course is Mick Foley (he is the *real* Santa, you know) and Santa says that this year and every year, Santa will be making his stop, RIGHT HERE, IN AFGHANISTAN (CHEAP POP!!!). So Coach is confused, cuz there can't be two Santas - so "Mick Santa" (Lilian call him that, it's great) challenges John 'Santaw' Layfield to a "No Ho-Ho-Holds barred match". "JSL" start beating down Mick and eventually Mick comes back with a bag of presents to the head. Foley pretty much dominates the whole match until a "JSL" big boot. "JSL" then sets up for "the Clothsline from the North Pole," but Mick ducks, and hits a double arm DDT. Then we get Mr. Socko and JSL is quickly down for the 3 count. Very fun match.

 

After the match (maybe at commercial) "JSL" got on the mic and said "I feel like the Taliban. I just got my ass kicked!"

 

Next, Lilian stood around looking how for the commercial break (on a taped show?!) and then we get the next match, which I believe was...

 

"Brrrrrrrr hahahahaha... AFADOOO!!!!"

 

Cena comes out, and Bagram AFB is FULL of Chain Gang soldiers. Cena grabs one of the companies flags and carries it to the ring, and they freak out and run down to get it back. He had a very sustained pop through most of the match. His opponent Chris Masters, however, got no reaction (except from the females). *(This guy is put together, and if you were wondering, while he's doing his flexing he says "It's pecs and peaks time baby"). This was also a very fun match. Masters powered Cena around, Cena played good guy in peril to a "T." At one point, Masters was about to put the Masterlock on, but Cena practically broke it before Masters quickly panicked and threew him down and said that Cena hadn't broke it. (But he SO did... I SAW it!). So, Cena makes a comeback, shoulderblock, clotheslines, 5 knuckle shuffle (Whole audience sreamed, "YOU CAN'T SEE ME" - very cool), and then the FU for the 3.

 

During the COMMERCIAL (?!), the wind picked up, and Lilian was freezing, so guys starting throwing their tops into the ring. Quite funny.

 

I'm pretty sure the next guy out was The Coach. He introduces a man who is a 16 time World Champion, but lately has been on a tremendous losing streak in the ring, and in life, The Nature Boy, Ric Flair. So Flair comes out, ready to fight. (I was trying to WOOOO, but I had no voice, and then I noticed that an MSNBC camera was two feet from my head, pointed at me. Fantastic).

 

Anyhow -

 

Coach berates Flair cuz he's old and Triple H beat him at Survivor Series, and Coach challenges Flair to an IC title match. Pretty quick match. (At one point I could see Flair obviously calling spots.) Flair wins it by submission. Fun match, but not very good. Still, seeing Flair live is incredible.

 

Next up was Shelton Benjamin vs. Snitsky. Decent match, Snitsky's back is NASTY. Couldn't see much, but I know Shelton hit his top rope move, at one point, the ref went down, and Snitsky won the match with a big boot or something.

 

Now this was what all the guys were waiting for...

 

A Santas Little Helper Tag Team Match!

 

Trish & Ashley vs. Candice & Maria. (Sadly, I couldn't see any of this match, and spent it talking to Mick Foley. Very nice guy, though) I caught a few spots - like Trish licking her hand and chopping Candice, then Ashley licking Trish's hand and Trish chopping Candice. It was kinda nasty, but very sexy. Near the end, Trish hits a hurricanrana on the referee, somehow, Ahsley got in the ring and Candice pinned her. All the Divas celebrated and Candice jumped into the crowd right where I was standing, and it was really cool.

 

Then Lilian announces the main event will be a "boot camp match." It ends up being Triple H vs. HBK.

 

They lock up to start (so I yelled "Why are you wrestling, it's NO DQ!!!" - listen for it!) Michaels thought he was Ricky Steamboat tonight and hit something absurd like 457 deep arm drags. They went to the outside and fought, and I couldn't see it, but Shawn got whipped into the barrier right in front of me Back in the ring, they wrestler some more, Triple H has an abdominal stratch and grabs the ropes, which of course, the ref breaks cuz it's a No DQ match (!). More fighting, and both guys are down for the count of 9. Shawn gets the advantage, kips up, hits the elbow drop, tunes up the band, and Triple H ducks and goes for the Pedigree. Michaels escaped and hits a slingshot, hits the superkick and gets the 3.

 

End show.

 

Afterwards, Lilian called a general out and he called all of the WWE guys out. They stayed in the ring for about 15 minutes, Snitsky was crying, Shawn had a mini cam (he had it during his entrance too, which was awesome). So all in all I had a great time, despite the fact that everything that could go wrong for me did. Hope y'all like this, and I should have TONS of pictures for you in a day or two (see Tuesday's MeeThinks!).

 

 

Big Show defeated Carlito

 

John Cena © defeated Chris Masters

 

Ric Flair © defeated Jonathan Coachman

 

Gene Snitsky defeated Shelton Benjamin

 

Candice & Maria defeated Trish & Ashley

 

Shawn Michaels defeated HHH

 

credit: 411wrestling.com

[Si82 0]

...I hope these are fake....

"Wrestling's not fake!!!!!"

That's the only time that film has made me laugh.

[fisticuffs 0]

...I hope these are fake....

"Wrestling's not fake!!!!!"

That's the only time that film has made me laugh.

 

Is that where you quit watching? I think that movie's funny as hell.

[Vyce 0]

*reads spoilers provided by FearHavoc*

 

Eh, so they're real. And though this show is yet another one of Vince's masturbatory "see? I'm really a NICE guy, and a good American!" publicity stunts, at least the troops seemed to have a good time.

[Guest JMA]

Why do media whores always claim to hate the media?

[Guest Fook]

I got to the location about 3 1/2 hours early, and there were MAYBE 30 people in front of me in line. So time went by really fast, we got to see all the wrestlers come in, and HHH (and only HHH), came out and walked down the line and shook every single persons hand, which at this point was about 500 people.

 

That's classy. Wonder why Trips was the only one who did this.

[haVoc 0]

I got to the location about 3 1/2 hours early, and there were MAYBE 30 people in front of me in line. So time went by really fast, we got to see all the wrestlers come in, and HHH (and only HHH), came out and walked down the line and shook every single persons hand, which at this point was about 500 people.

 

That's classy. Wonder why Trips was the only one who did this.

 

I can see it now from Bryan Alvarez.....

 

"As I reported a few days ago, Triple H is still upset after discovering the Internet and finding out he may be the most hated man ever in sports entertainment. On top of having problems conceiving a child with Steph, he is said to be obsessed with changing his image.

 

Triple H told management, other wrestlers and just about anyone who would listen that he wanted the spot light and he would be the only one to shake the troops hands on the trip. At one point, Triple H saw Shelton Benjamin shake hands with a few troops and as you all know by now Shelton was jobbed out on the tribute show.

 

Other then this, Triple H is determined to make people think he's a really nice guy who works hard so his legacy will carry WWE, and, wrestling in general, into the next era and beyond. "

[Guest The Z Man Tom Zenk]

Honestly, there is no pleasing some of you. This was a show for the troops, not for us. To skip it because Shelton Benjamin lost. Man, I bet the troops are really pissed Shelton lost...

[Gary Floyd 0]

...I hope these are fake....

"Wrestling's not fake!!!!!"

That's the only time that film has made me laugh.

 

Is that where you quit watching? I think that movie's funny as hell.

Ok, I think it's ok to declare you officially insane now.

[Guest Zarock]

"PREPARE TO BE VARNISHED!!!" was a good line, too.

[haVoc 0]

Today's San Francisco Chronicle has an article on the WWE Raw taping at the Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan yesterday. The story said for most of the servicemen there, they were more into seeing the women wrestle than the guys, noting that people like Big Show, HHH and Ric Flair "could hardly excite a similar response." Article is at www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/c/a/2005/12/10MNGGEG62C61.DTL

 

Credit: Observer

 

Can't say I'm surprised the girls were the most popular.

[Si82 0]

...I hope these are fake....

"Wrestling's not fake!!!!!"

That's the only time that film has made me laugh.

 

Is that where you quit watching? I think that movie's funny as hell.

That's not what I meant. I meant it was funny in the context of the post. The film itself is a big pile of shit, why did I watch it all the way through?