PROMO

[Guest bennerisbetter]

Mohammed Koran patted his scrotum. When the whore bit it the pain was intense, yet ironically not as intense as the pain she felt when he tortured her to death. The look on her face when he peeled back the….

 

“Mohammed!”

 

“Sorry sir.” Koran immediately felt guilty for letting his mind wonder during a lecture by his new master, Colonel Headwort.

 

“Good. As I was saying, it’s a shame that my plan to kill all the black people in New Orleans by creating a hurricane didn’t work, it was thwarted by that Ghost Machine.”

 

Koran adjusted his turban. “I know, in fact I almost died when he blew up my helicopter. He thought I died, but actually I jumped out right before the explosion. The blast blew me over water, so I landed in that and survived.”

 

“That was lucky, eh? Now for my next scheme! See this gas? Guess what it does.”

 

“I don’t know, Colonel.”

 

“It kills black people. If they breathe it, they die! So I’m gonna shoot it from a space rocket and aim it at all the continents, essentially killing all black people on earth!”

 

Koran cackled. Once the black people were dead, it would be easier to pick out all the white infidels to kill in Allah’s name. And the crime rate would go down. “But what about our black Mooslim friends?”

 

“They shall die for God – or to you, Allah.”

 

Headwort was a white supremacist, but Mohammed was not, but they shared a common goal.

 

“So! I have already sent the space station into orbit to shoot the rockets, but you will need to go to the secret base to activate them. Good luck killing those niggers.”

 

<><><><><><><><>

 

Ghost Machine practiced wrestling moves in the gym, but since his fall out with JL Crunk he wasn’t gay anymore so he didn’t get boners wrestling, so more people would wrestle him. All the sudden, his watch beeped.

 

“Ghost Machine! This is commander Kex! Intelligence reports report that Colonel Headwort of the AAN is trying to send rockets from space to kill all black people. Go to the secret base at coordinates 109.67.89, 123.45.11”

 

Ghostie nodded. He liked black people and didn’t call them the N word, he knew that was wrong. One time he used that word and JL tried to beat him up, but he wasn’t strong enough.

 

Ghost Machine arrived at the HQ airport and got in his helicopter, piloted by a new recruit.

 

“I just want to say Ghost Machine is someone whose work I am a fan of in a big-time sort of way and since you are him that is even greater.”

 

The helicopter took off and started to fly, but strangely it wasn’t flying in the right direction. The recruit started to sweat and say stuff like “Um, don’t be worried.” Ghost Machine was suspicious. He knocked the guy out with a karate chop and landed.

 

<><><><><><><><>

 

“….wuh..?.?...” when the guy woke up he was entirely covered in plastic, except for his eyes and mouth.

 

“What the fuck is going on here!!!???” He demanded of Ghost Machine. For some reason there was a fire truck next to him. Ghost walked over and placed a strip of clear plastic over his eyes.

 

“Hey! What’s the big idea, see?” Ghost took a fire hose and put it in Bob’s mouth.

 

“Mmm! Mmmphf!!! Mllp! Mllp mm!” He turned it on full blast. A huge jet of water shot through the guy, and it almost came out his ass but GM had corked it. His organs were shredded and the pain was so intense. It was the worst torture ever to him. He began to swell, and finally he exploded. Water and guts shot everywhere. Ghost shit on the guy’s body parts and ate the dick and took a picture. Then he got in the copter and flew to stop the koon killing.

 

 

BLAAR BLAAR

 

“Sir! Radar indicates GM is here!”

 

“Koran! Go stop him. We must kill dirty niggers.”

 

Ghost landed and stepped out.

 

“Hahaha! Hello, Ghost. Thought I was dead? Fool! Would I die before every stinky black on this planet died, so then I could kill the infidels easier? No!”

 

Ghost took out a gun.

 

“Huh. Pathetic. Ghost Machine, I know you are no robot! And no man could hit me from that distance.”

 

BAM Ghost shot Koran’s dick off.

 

“ARARRRAGHGHHAHRHCHI”

 

He then walked over and stepped on his nuts. Then he mounted the screaming man and fucked him up the ass, and then he shit in his mouth and set him on fire. He melted.

 

Ghost then took out a rocket and blew up the rockets designed to kill blacks.

[Bruce Blank 0]

Somebody think of the children of SWF!!

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

What the fuck?

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

What the fuck?

 

Thanks for beating me to the punch.

[zyon 0]

Nigger, cracker, sand nigger, dick, ass, fecal matter, shit, piss, urine, missing limbs, blood guts, fagat, gay, homo, bitch, fuck, bastard, cock, karate chop.

 

Ok look, it sucks (kinda) that someone is stealing your character without your permission. However, writing a PROMO that's sole purpose is to offend others is pretty dumb. I know your related to one of the better writers in the fed (who happens to still be on his vacation from the fed) so I would expect more from you. Please don't attempt to explain the promo by stating Ghost Machine's good intentions.

 

You did your job...I'm offended.

 

However, not because of the above words, and maybe one or two I missed from your promo. Im offended that someone would write such a promo in response to a meer joke. Dude, it's like throwing a fit. Grow up. Ask one of the higher ups what is going on if you feel that strongly about the Ghost Machine character. But hey I'm being nice feel free to write these brilliant promos, I'm sure you'll offend someone and feel darn proud of yourself.

 

*Thumbs up*

[Guest bennerisbetter]

This is no response to that, and in fact I wrote it months ago and never bothered to post it; seeing this character revival just reminded me.

[Toxxic 0]

You shouldn't have bothered. It's a crying shame that you stick around here and your brother can't come back yet.

[Guest Ghost Machine]

BennerCorp also fixed the BigotryBug in version 2.0.

[Smartly Pretty 0]

No one ever actually respected this guy, did they?

[Toxxic 0]

What do YOU think?

[Smartly Pretty 0]

I think not, but I've seen weirder.

[Toshiaki Koala 0]

You shouldn't have bothered. It's a crying shame that you stick around here and your brother can't come back yet.

 

Well, he only excretes a promo every three months or so, and edits a different wrestler name into his match slightly more often. I could do that, but would anyone want me to?

[JJ Johnson 0]

*raises hand*

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

:: raises hand::

 

Recycled Preztler matches > Everybody on the active roster not named ELM.

 

Come on back, Pretzler

[Toxxic 0]

What they said. A Pretzler promo once every three months would be like rain to the desert.

 

...or something.