THE BIGGEST FUCKING DORK ON THE BOARD

[Hank Kingsley 0]

I just want my kids back!

[nl5xsk1 0]

Tell me what you don't think is real because every single word I wrote in there is true.

I didn't even read a word of it, my friend. You lost me as a believer (and post-reader) when you talked about making out with your thumb for practice.

 

Oh, and I'd presume that you would have had a nocturnal emission (like most males) long before you lost your virginity to a weight bench. I think I had my first one at like 12 or 13.

[Guest wildpegasus]

I believe WP is a real person... whether that's good or bad is up to you... either way, he wins.

 

Thank you. At least there are a few people out there who believe.

 

 

I hate how you kids force me to read WP's posts

 

You know, if you starting dating me than my posts would take a turn for the better.

 

 

I can't believe you fucked a weightbench

 

Accidently.

 

You know, I kind of regret posting this story up here in the first place though I'm glad people find it memoarable and got enjoyment out of it.

 

And I regret it somewaht because there was only one person in real life that knows this story (though one person overheard some of it while I was talking; I hope he didn't tell anyone) but now thanks to this board there are more people in my life who know. I just hope it doesn't spread too, too much. Let this be a lesson to everyone. Be careful what you post on message boards.

[The Czech Republic 0]

if you starting dating me than my posts would take a turn for the better.

I thought you said you were smart.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Tell me what you don't think is real because every single word I wrote in there is true.

I didn't even read a word of it, my friend. You lost me as a believer (and post-reader) when you talked about making out with your thumb for practice.

 

Oh, and I'd presume that you would have had a nocturnal emission (like most males) long before you lost your virginity to a weight bench. I think I had my first one at like 12 or 13.

 

Did you ever try the thumb technique? Lots of people have done it before. I learnt it from a good friend who unlike me is not a dork.

 

Yes, I believe I did have a couple of nocturnal emissions though memory's starting to play tricks with me. I do know I was a late bloomer so it didn't happen quite that young for me.

 

I faintly remember (I know this didn't happen too much) getting up one morning and finding something down there. I remember asking my Mom about it and her being uncomfortable about it.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

The idea of wildpegasus is a lot funnier than the actual wildpegasus.

[The Czech Republic 0]

The idea of wildpegasus is a lot funnier than the actual wildpegasus.

Yeah, that pretty much sums things up. Hey, is Soon Over Babaluma any good? It won't be the same without Damo Suzuki

[Carnival 0]

Thomas J Mayer Wildpegasus --- wins

 

Oh and he's a real person I think.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

The idea of wildpegasus is a lot funnier than the actual wildpegasus.

Yeah, that pretty much sums things up. Hey, is Soon Over Babaluma any good? It won't be the same without Damo Suzuki

I never ventured further than Future Days, so I dunno. It's supposed to be, though.

 

Have you ever checked out Monster Movie? Malcom Mooney's voice is grating at times, but I love the crunchy, raw rock sound on that record.

[The Czech Republic 0]

All I've heard is Tago Mago. There were like two days after MLK Day or so where that was all I listened to.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Ege Bamyasi and Future Days are both arguably better. The stopgap Soundtracks is worth checking out if only for "Mother Sky," which is the best of their epic jams.

 

Tago Mago loses me during the two lengthy musique concrete tracks; I wouldn't do away with either one, entirely—I love the percussion breakdown at the end of "Aumgn"—but each could've been much shorter. The rest of the album is superb.

 

I remember telling Gene about Can awhile ago and he seemed interested, but I don't think he ever followed through.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Thank you carnival. Another believer. Maybe I should do a poll.

 

 

Incadanza, CR -- What on earth are you talking about? Music? Is this some kind of desperate attempt to talk about some obscure music so you can get dorkness points or something?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

wildpegasus, you're hurting my feelings.

[Carnival 0]

[Guest wildpegasus]

wildpegasus, you're hurting my feelings.

 

Sorry, that was not my intention. Please accept my apalogies.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

In all seriousness, Matt Young. Has bahing him become passe? He still deserves it.

[Matt Young 0]

In all seriousness, Matt Young. Has bahing him become passe? He still deserves it.

 

 

Fucking finally. I can't believe it took 46 posts.

 

Also, in unrelated news. Incandenza is probably the 3rd worst poster here, although not the biggest dork.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

Princess Leena

[Guest Quik]

I read that entire wildpegasus post, and I'm now scarred for life. I will never forget just how uncomfortable I felt while reading through it. His parents had to be some sort of psychotic Bible-thumpers... seriously. Wow, just fucking wow.

[Ted the Poster 0]

Czech wounded me!

[Vyce 0]

I'm still unsure whether WP is real. What's throwing me is that I know that the possibility of someone like him existing in real life is very high, but I just don't know if he actually is the real deal or just someone doing a gimmick for their own bizarre amusement.

 

A point against him being for real: what guy discovers masturbation at TWENTY? Shit, I don't think I was any older than 12.

[Matt Young 0]

I never masturbated til after I lost my virginity at age 16.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I remember Kotz said he learned at a late age, but he meant like, 14. Not 20. Jesus Christ. Boys touch themselves in their cribs.

[Guest wildpegasus]

I read that entire wildpegasus post, and I'm now scarred for life. I will never forget just how uncomfortable I felt while reading through it. His parents had to be some sort of psychotic Bible-thumpers... seriously. Wow, just fucking wow.

 

I'm interested in why you think my parents had to be some sort of psychotic Bible-thumpers. What would give you that idea?

 

 

For the record, my mother is pretty religious but not a psychotic Bible-thumper. My father I don't think is too religious but he could possibly be. It's hard to tell. I do have some cousins that are pretty religious. I am not religious.

 

Since I'm talking about religon I thought I'd point out that religon was more prevalent back when I was younger than it is today.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Since I'm talking about religon I thought I'd point out that religon was more prevalent back when I was younger than it is today.

Yeah, Jesus went out of style along with Members Only jackets.

[Guest wildpegasus]

I'm still unsure whether WP is real. What's throwing me is that I know that the possibility of someone like him existing in real life is very high, but I just don't know if he actually is the real deal or just someone doing a gimmick for their own bizarre amusement.

 

A point against him being for real: what guy discovers masturbation at TWENTY? Shit, I don't think I was any older than 12.

 

I'm real. I should get someone on the bord to verify my dorkness some day.

 

 

Look at it this way. I'm obvioulsy a big wrestling fan on one of the marquee wrestling boards on the internet. If I was fake and just worried about my gimmick than I would be putting no effort at all into wrestling posts but yet I still put in a fairly descent bit of effort into them. In fact, I never really talked about anything besides wrestling when I first signed up to the board. So what got me here was wrestling; not a gimmick -- I just happened to start talking about my life because I started to feel at home here(It also takes awhile for shy people to open up some) and I could talk about more stuff than I could in real life. Not concrete proof or anything but something to think about.

 

The "twenty year old" thing (I could be off a bit;not too sure) is true. In fact, I've heard of people marrying before and not knowing how to make babies because they didn't know about sex partly due to their upbringings. I actually knew a little bit more about sex than masturbation when I was around 16 or so thanks to a sneak watching of a hollywood movie but that however didn't tell me everything. It wouldn't be until I was 24 yrs old or so that I discovered you put the penis through a circle; I always thought you just rubbed it up and down along the vagina -- Maybe it's a good thing I didn't have sex thing since the embarassment of not knowing that would've been huge. Yes, like I said before I touched myself a couple of times but I never did realise that you were supposed to keep on doing that. I didn't even know if it was healthy to touch yourself too much there. Yes, I worry about everything. Today I worry about if I'll be able to find that special little hole if I ever do lose my virginity.

 

I have had the pleasure of having some great friends in my life but I've never had too, too many since I'm the shyist person alive. So that means you're not around people as much to hear them talk about sex. And since when you're shy you have a hard time talking about ANYTHING in the first just imagine what it's like to talk about sex. You just simply don't because A)it's extreamly uncomfortable and B)when you are so worried what other people think about you it makes you want to make sure than nobody knows how unknowledgable you are so you don't bring up the subject. Couple that with no access to ANY information about women/sex and you're only left with your imagination which in my case wasn't too good. The only thing I ever had was the Sears catogue bra/panties section (when nobody was home) and my imagination. I remember one time I almost got caught looking at the catogue! With that I would pretend to kiss the women on the lips and than down around the bra area and once or twice around the panty area. I had no idea if what I was doing was right or wrong (especially when I kissed around the panties) but at least it proves I wasn't a complete moron trying to figure out this stuff. You kids today don't know how lucky you got it. So my imagination did indeed take me to some places but it could not figure out everything on its own. That's why I didn't put all the pieces together and discover masturbation until I was 20 and the circular thing until I was 24. Don't even ask me when I found out about the hymen.

[Open the Muggy Gate 0]

The only thing I ever had was the Sears catogue bra/panties section (when nobody was home) and my imagination. I remember one time I almost got caught looking at the catogue! With that I would pretend to kiss the women on the lips and than down around the bra area and once or twice around the panty area. I had no idea if what I was doing was right or wrong (especially when I kissed around the panties) but at least it proves I wasn't a complete moron trying to figure out this stuff. You kids today don't know how lucky you got it.

 

Ok, now I don't have a fucking clue if he's real or not.... God...

[Carnival 0]

wow, just wow.

 

i'm starting to doubt he's real now.....

 

and if you are real....why in fuck's sake would you tell us that shit?

[Art Sandusky 0]

I remember Kotz said he learned at a late age

Last time I tell you anything. And I didn't figure it out until I was 17.

[Rob Anybody 0]

I want more trainwreck.