Im going to need some advice..

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Lets see how many things I can address

 

A) Doormat. Well, I guess I am and while I dont like it, I've accepted it since Im the only one without a 2nd job and its easier for me to work on my day off with no plans than it is for the others who would have to try and get off from their other job or whatever. I'll take the overtime in heartbeat however so I dont care.

 

B)

I get it.

I finally get it.

Marvin doesn't want women.

It's all so simple.

He just wants money.

He has no desire for sex, he can just mastubate for the rest of his life!

Its a decision he has made.

 

Ive said before..Im to the point where it bothers me more that I haven't even had one relationship than it does that Im still a virgin. Surprisingly enough, all the porn in the world isn't helping that..shocking! I wouldn't say Im putting money in front of everything. Its just that Id rather be working and making money than doing nothing, which is what I do 90% of the time Im off.

 

C) At the start of this, I was thinking that my ugliness (and lets face it..scale of 1-10 Im a proven 1.5 or 2 via the one rate my picture site I put one of my pics up on), but I realize that whats hurting me more is my overall crappy attitude towards everything/negativity.

 

D) I have close to $5000 in the bank. Thats money Im saving for a new car and just in case money..Im not broke. I've put off the massive spending I was going through when I first got my job (HDTV/HDTivo etc) and thats helping.

[Vyce 0]

Perhaps Marvin needs to baby step this process.

 

Have you ever been to a strip club? Perhaps you can start there. Start off by at least being in the same room with a naked woman. Just to get the experience of it.

 

Next might be a good massage parlor. Could even be a legit one, but there you'll have a woman actually touching you.

 

Then we work our way up to the whores.

 

If you think I'm making fun of you with this, I'm not. There's no shame in going to a strip club, getting a massage, getting a whore.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Perhaps Marvin needs to baby step this process.

 

Have you ever been to a strip club? Perhaps you can start there. Start off by at least being in the same room with a naked woman. Just to get the experience of it.

 

Next might be a good massage parlor. Could even be a legit one, but there you'll have a woman actually touching you.

 

Then we work our way up to the whores.

 

If you think I'm making fun of you with this, I'm not. There's no shame in going to a strip club, getting a massage, getting a whore.

 

That's what I did. I figured it would be a gradual step that I needed to improve my confidence. And it did do that. Every time I went I tried to do something harder each time. I'll just recap this story really quickly for those who might not remember

The first time I went I was fine. However, after a bit I decided I wanted a close up dance (no lap dances allowed) but the problem was I had to ask for a coupon or something before you got a dance. This made me real nervous and I was feeling very,very anxious just on the thought of going up and asking for a coupon. However, I did eventually do it and than sat down thinking about how on earth was I going to ask a dancer for a dance.

I went back to sit down and tryed every mental reasoning bit I could think of on how I should be able to do this. However, it wasn't working. My heart was pounding so hard it was literally scaring me. For non exercise it was beyond a shadow of a doubt the hardest my heart ever pounded in my life. It was scaring the daylights out of me and I think I was having an anxiety attack or something. Anyway, I got up and out of my chair 4 or 5 times over the course of a good amount of time to ask the lady I had an eye on for a dance but each time I cowarded out.

Long story short, I'm very sure that she realised how shy I was so she came up and asked me I wanted a dance. She had a HEAVY French accent so I had a hard time making her out. Basicaly I just hope I didn't offend her by saying something. I believe she was even flirting with me some. That helped my confidence some and I'm glad it was her who I got my first dance with because she was seemingly the nicest girl I ever met at a strip club. I owe a lot to her (as well as another nice girl in my life) and I'll be forever grateful to her. I just wish she could know that.

 

2nd time I went I managed to ask a girl for a dance. It was a struggle though. So I improved and I was happy I did that.

 

3rd time I managed to compliment a girl.

 

Last time I went to a strip club it was a different one that allowed lap dances. And there were some good lapdancers at this place. I'll recap this real quickly as well. Being touched for the very first time was an experience I'll never forget and that helped to boost my confidence as well. During my first dance I was embarassed because I said something that was probably really dorky but still it went well I think. In fact, she masturbated for a lot of it and in all my porn watching life I don't think I've ever seen anyone masturbate like that. I had dances with about 5 girls that night and I think I managed to compliment every one which is something I couldn't do only a few months ago. Other events there helped my confidence as well.

 

So yeah, my plan really did work. Inspired by the Napolean Dynamite movie I decided I wanted to work on my confidence level because I was scared I was going to go through life without ever touching a girl. And it worked but it still has to grow higher. The outside world is tougher and I'm often embarassed by myself which makes it even tougher out there. That may actually be my biggest problem.

 

I will have to work on myself some more. Just like the gym you gotta get a little stronger and stronger.

 

 

Edit -- When talking to my high school crush in the gym years later (she initiated it, not me) I remember being extremely nervous. Heart pounding out of my chest and all that. It wasn't as bad as my first time that I was going to ask for a dance at the club but it was close and probably would've been worse if I was thinking of asking her if she wanted some help with donkey calf raises. I'm mentioning this because I have to give her credit too for making me so nervous. I couldn't sleep right for days after that.

[Guest]

Perhaps Marvin needs to baby step this process.

 

Have you ever been to a strip club? Perhaps you can start there. Start off by at least being in the same room with a naked woman. Just to get the experience of it.

 

Next might be a good massage parlor. Could even be a legit one, but there you'll have a woman actually touching you.

 

Then we work our way up to the whores.

 

If you think I'm making fun of you with this, I'm not. There's no shame in going to a strip club, getting a massage, getting a whore.

That's probably a good idea.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Perhaps Marvin needs to baby step this process.

 

Have you ever been to a strip club? Perhaps you can start there. Start off by at least being in the same room with a naked woman. Just to get the experience of it.

 

Next might be a good massage parlor. Could even be a legit one, but there you'll have a woman actually touching you.

 

Then we work our way up to the whores.

 

If you think I'm making fun of you with this, I'm not. There's no shame in going to a strip club, getting a massage, getting a whore.

That's probably a good idea.

 

All the strip clubs are in Delaware...never been to one though. And I dont think Im up for a massage..I had 4 months of physical therapy when I was 16 (ironically the same place I now work) and I dont want to go through anything like that again.

[Guest Felonies!]

HE MEANS HANDJOB

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

HE MEANS HANDJOB

 

Well see he did say even a legit one...

[tominator89 0]

Perhaps Marvin needs to baby step this process.

 

Have you ever been to a strip club? Perhaps you can start there. Start off by at least being in the same room with a naked woman. Just to get the experience of it.

 

Next might be a good massage parlor. Could even be a legit one, but there you'll have a woman actually touching you.

 

Then we work our way up to the whores.

 

If you think I'm making fun of you with this, I'm not. There's no shame in going to a strip club, getting a massage, getting a whore.

That's probably a good idea.

 

All the strip clubs are in Delaware...never been to one though. And I dont think Im up for a massage..I had 4 months of physical therapy when I was 16 (ironically the same place I now work) and I dont want to go through anything like that again.

 

You're missing the point here. Physical therapy is an actual medical procedure. A massage would give you the experience of having female hands making you feel good.

[Vyce 0]

You're hopeless, Marvin. I haven't read through all of this thread but I'm beginning to question whether you're just terrified of women.

 

* if the strip clubs are in Delaware, than drive there and visit one. Why not? What have you got to lose?

 

* There's probably something very weird going on with you psychologically where I mention a massage and you automatically think of some negative experience in your background. Maybe instead of being afraid of women it's just intimacy.

 

BTW, I didn't necessarily mean a handjob (it's not a given you'd get one anyway), but just the physical intimacy of having someone of the opposite sex actually TOUCHING you would probably do wonders.

 

* I'm serious about considering a whore.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

It's an amalgam of various fears. They include women, rejection, intimacy, and there may even be a little fear of acceptance in there too. Like, if he actually did find someone that would accept him, his brain would boil from the paranoia of trying not to screw it up.

 

 

It happens to people sometimes. Usually it revolves around self-esteem issues or maybe some past experiences, or both. My reccomendation is start on the platonic side of things, to a degree, and just try to find a few females in close proximity to yourself that you can share casual conversation with. You might luck out and hit it off with someone.

[EricMM 0]

I think the long and short (emphasis on long) of this is that we've found out that we cannot fix him.

 

Marvin, you need help, this is not healthy.

 

You are not mentally healthy. You're not well. If you had a light fever, you would be dealing with it in your way, this is something like that. You're unwell, deal with it. Get counseling, get a psychologist. Because a bunch of 1's and 0's turned into data obviously isn't sinking into your head. Have you ever hugged a girl, ever danced with a girl, ever had a girl lean against you just for physical comfort? Have you ever done the same? These things are nice! This isn't even about sex, this is about comfort and intimacy.

 

These are creature comforts that all living things need and indeed thrive on. You are not thriving. Go ... water yourself, you wilting plant.

 

At a strip club

[2GOLD 0]

All the strip clubs are in Delaware???

Fucking WHERE?!?!

 

All the strip clubs are in Baltimore, not in Delaware. Wilmington has maybe one, Seaford has one and that's it for Delaware. And Delaware has a policy of no complete nudity, so it's basically like seeing ladies who really are not that attractive dancing around in a swimsuit.

 

Go to Baltimore, there are still so clubs there that have the discreate, "Give me some money and I'll fuck you against the bar and no one will know but us" girls.

[EricMM 0]

Shit, even I know THAT.

 

AND, even if you don't want to do all that and break the law, you're going to find thick enough ladies there who will do you proper.

 

Was it Sandman or Milky that talked about the thick ass stripper who made it feel like he was fucking her through his jeans?

 

Go out there, these chicks want money, you want honey.

 

With where you're coming from, I doubt you'd last three minutes anyways...

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

All the strip clubs are in Delaware???

Fucking WHERE?!?!

 

All the strip clubs are in Baltimore, not in Delaware. Wilmington has maybe one, Seaford has one and that's it for Delaware. And Delaware has a policy of no complete nudity, so it's basically like seeing ladies who really are not that attractive dancing around in a swimsuit.

 

Go to Baltimore, there are still so clubs there that have the discreate, "Give me some money and I'll fuck you against the bar and no one will know but us" girls.

 

Which shows you how much I know about strip clubs. I know theres also a place up in Dover though based on last weekend. And the only reason Im driving 2 1/2 hours to Baltimore is for an Orioles game, a Wrestling Show, or a Ravens game.

[EricMM 0]

Um.

 

*cough*

 

I think you're more due for a lapdance (or 12) than you are for a Wrestling Show.

[Guest wildpegasus]

Um.

 

*cough*

 

I think you're more due for a lapdance (or 12) than you are for a Wrestling Show.

 

Just drive to the club. I had at least a 3hr drive to the club to get there and if I had the money I'd go at least 3 times a week. There I had at least 15 dances with 5 different girls when I went to the club. Girls are way better than a hockey, baseball, football or basketball game. Maybe not wrestling but that's only if you were fortunate enough to see a match along the quality of Benoit vs Johnny Smith. Or if you were to see the Cuban Assasin in person.

[JangoFett4Hire 0]

Marvin, why don't you move to a place with a younger population?

[Murmuring Beast 0]

Vietnam.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Marvin, why don't you move to a place with a younger population?

 

I totally forgot about the fact that I had done one of those Eharmony profile things a while back...and one of my few matches lived in Anchorage Alaska. I had a good laugh over that at the time.

[Guest Princess Leena]

I hate those fucking commercials. Every damn break on the Tennis Channel has them. I hate you for reminding me of them. Feel everlasting pain for you.

[Hawk 34 0]

So what excuse are you going to use this weekend?

[MrRant 0]

The board crapped out for a day and he needs to catch up on his board life.

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

I hate those fucking commercials. Every damn break on the Tennis Channel has them. I hate you for reminding me of them. Feel everlasting pain for you.

 

I see more of the ones for Match.com now though and they arent that annoying.

 

I admit the Eharmony ones got annoying, but at the time it sounded like a cool idea cause it was free..however my closest match ended up being in Florida and they charge an arm and a leg..

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

The board crapped out for a day and he needs to catch up on his board life.

 

Aww come on now..I didnt notice that post about moving until today and it reminded my of the fact that my supposed ideal match is in Alaska somewhere.

 

oh, and to answer Hawk34, um..I dont have an excuse, but since I haven't heard from my friend or this girl since, Im asuming, to quote the magic 8 ball.."outlook not good". Of course, I never really got my hopes up about this anyway cause I figured I blew it to start with so its no big deal.

[Sideburnious 0]

Fuck setting up a fund to get him a stripper. We should just set up a fund for a mail order bride. Have that pussy on tap for him

[Hawk 34 0]

The board crapped out for a day and he needs to catch up on his board life.

 

Aww come on now..I didnt notice that post about moving until today and it reminded my of the fact that my supposed ideal match is in Alaska somewhere.

 

oh, and to answer Hawk34, um..I dont have an excuse, but since I haven't heard from my friend or this girl since, Im asuming, to quote the magic 8 ball.."outlook not good". Of course, I never really got my hopes up about this anyway cause I figured I blew it to start with so its no big deal.

 

Yeah, you blew it. No question. I hope that meager paycheck you got will provide comfort.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Wait, so Marvin is really gonna skip the chance for a date so he can put in time at his going-nowhere-fast job? Call and ask her if she's still free, then just go already so we can close this awful thread.

[The Niggardly King 0]

Do you really wanna be this same type of guy 10 years down the road Marvin?

 

So far everything points to yes... but really, do you?

[2GOLD 0]

Wait, so Marvin is really gonna skip the chance for a date so he can put in time at his going-nowhere-fast job? Call and ask her if she's still free, then just go already so we can close this awful thread.

 

I wonder if he got a date with a attractive girl who made it clear she would date him and fuck his brains out every minute until the day died...I wonder if his boss called and said someone needed to cover because one of his co-workers decided to go to Cancun for the weekend, I wonder if he would cancel the date to go to work?

[MarvinisaLunatic 0]

Wait, so Marvin is really gonna skip the chance for a date so he can put in time at his going-nowhere-fast job? Call and ask her if she's still free, then just go already so we can close this awful thread.

 

Well..Id call if I had a phone number. All Ive got is an email address/IM SN.

 

Oh, and Im not working this weekend (Im off Sat/Sun/Mon) so work has nothing to do with this.