Lockdown comments

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Mad propers to Triple J; that was only my second singles loss this year (the other being to Muzz). Congratulations.

 

Now, I can set my sights on the real Championship...

[the.weej 0]

Munich better watch out. WC's coming straight for the Western United States championship!

 

Better show than I expected. Aecas is back! Aecas rocked the midcard pretty good before he left, so I wouldn't be surprised to see him pick up where he left off. I don't have the results for the Vodka match thing yet, but I don't think there were any no-shows for this one. I can't remember the last time we got a chance to say that.

 

Well, alright, I don't think Spike finished on time, but come on. That hardly even counts.

 

I'm still working on the card, but it's shaped up fairly well. Lots of singles matches, but I think you'll like the main event. I'm rather a fan of the upcoming House Rules match, myself.

 

-Z

[Mr. S£im Citrus 0]

Munich better watch out. WC's coming straight for the Western United States championship!

Damn right! The Western United States Title is made out of wood, right? I look good with wood!

 

Hey, I should trademark that...

[Toxxic 0]

"I look good with wood"

 

...and WC joins Rush Hadrian on the 'should be a pornstar' list from the SWF (come on, Rush Hadrian? That name screams pornstar to me. Gay pornstar, actually).

 

Further comments when i don't have band practice to go to. But YAY! for Aecas returning, YAY! for J3 kicking shit, and YAY! for Landon beating the fuck out of me.

 

...wait, what?

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Hey now! EUS is wooden because it came from the JL. All ML titles are made of lucite and other stuff. ML > JL and all that jazz.

 

I might read the show, but everyone knows that is a lie. lolz

[Guest The Satanic Angel]

It's not much, but I tried to entertain a little with the vodka match.. it's been edited in.

[JJ Johnson 0]

Hey, look. JJ am comment.

 

BRUCE BLANK > PROPANE. HOW? HE IS THE CHEAPER SOURCE OF HEAT. ALSO, HE'S ABOUT TO GET DRUNK OFF OF HIS ASS. LET'S SEE PROPANE DO THAT. THAT WOULD BE STRESSED, BUT THIS IS ALREADY BOLDED, AND I'M RAMBLING BESIDES.

 

Blank torments Hardy, because all the hip kids torment Hardy, and then brings up some Russian stereotypes before noting that he's going to get drunk to high hell, and if he can't feel anything, he can wrestle. He also refuses to share his vodka with the Russians, and since Russians are nothing without their vodka, they wither and die. Or perhaps they boo. I CAN'T DECIDE.

 

THE CARD, FEATURING ME AND OTHER PEOPLE AND ME. ALSO, ME.

 

and dangerous lolz shoot?>

 

Nah, just kidding. WC's awesome.

 

MANSON vs. ??? vs... MANSON? NO, ONLY ONE MANSON. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MANSON.

 

CRUSHER DESTROYER. Sorry, I have to do that every time Mastodon is brought up. Manson comes out, the crowd doesn't like him - it's because they fear him - and he enters the ring and does things. And then...

 

...Aecas! This would be a surprise if I hadn't known about it days before the show went up, and if the card featuring him weren't already up, but still, neat. I also mark for "Death In Fire". Hooray for Amon Amarth.

 

So, commentary puts over that Aecas is ca-razy, and I'm inclined to believe them, because he's ca-razy. That doesn't make sense, but whatever. Bell's gone, we're underway, Manson starts things off with a punch. Which Aecas no-sells, because he doesn't feel things except hsi key weakness: tickling. Another punch, another no-sell, so Manson goes with the boot to the gut. THAT works, Manson pops him with some elbows, then runs and nails him with a knee that actually, you know, makes Aecas say "Alas, pain!". Aecas goes for a Decapitator - for the uneducated, a lariat - off the rebound, but Manson ducks under it, spin kicks him in the gut/side, couldn't tell, and then runs and nails him with a YAKUZAAAAAA kick that finally puts the Black Angel down. Manson follows up with an Eddy Guerrero bootscrape, then goes to the second rope and nails a flying knee for 1 1/2.

 

Aecas sits up with Manson, showing he's mad strong, and Manson tries to escape with elbows to the back, but Aecas says "hellz no" and drops him with a backbreaker before throwing him over with a big Fallaway Slam. He follows up by picking Manson up and popping him with a forearm, then sends him off the ropes and tries for another Decapitator...that is not to be, as Manson ducks under it, and the speed advantage gets put over on commentary. Yakuza Kick from Aecas, but Manson slides under it and pops up before hitting the turning Aecas with a gamengiri - I love that spot - for a two count. Then there's a bit of a snafu, as Aecas gets up selling the back of his head; the gamengiri targets the face, so I think you meant enzuigiri there. It's still a cool spot. Manson tries to keep his momentum with a rolling elbow, but Aecas says "hellz no again" and finally gets him with the Decapitator. No cover; instead, he pulls him up into a sidewalk slam before releasing and turning it into an elbow drop, kind of like Matt Hardy's back-suplex-to-elbow thing that I loved so much. The Ricochet, was it? Anyway, Aecas pulls him up again, and lawn darts him with a BIIIIIIIIIIIG German for 2.

 

Aecas pulls him up and nails him with a forearm, then another, but Manson finally has had enough and he nails him with a chop! Only to be hit with another forearm! Manson off the ropes, tries for a roundhouse, but Aecas catches it and Manson catches HIM with an enzuigiri that gets called correctly this time. Manson uses this to recover before charging Aecas in the corner, but Aecas is all "Hellz No Episode III: Revenge of the Sith" and gets him with a second Decapitator. Not done, Aecas hauls him up and nails a Dragon Suplex that you know just kills Manson, but only kills him for a close two-count. Manson kicks out, but he's pretty much dead in the water, and Aecas pulls him up before hitting a sheer-drop BRAINBUSTAAAAAHHHH~! for ALMOST three as Manson survives. Aecas decides that not winning is for squares, and goes for the Electric Chair Driver, and Manson is all "Hellz Gno: Like Zombi, In That It's Night Of The Living Dead With A Different Director and Name, But It's Hellz No With A Different Director And Name" and hits an inverted Pedigree (which is actually a reverse Pedigree, as an inverted Pedigree would look like very flexible cunnilingus. But that's a minor nitpick, and I digress.). I think Kidman used to do that, actually.

 

Manson rolls Aecas over and goes up top, looking for possibly the SAVAGE ELBOW~!, but Aecas is all "Hellz No IV: The Revenge", which isn't nearly as good as the other three "Hellz No"s and doesn't make as much at the box office, like that one movie nobody's heard of about that shark, by that guy that made the dinosaur movies. But anyway, Manson gets crotched as Aecas is back from the dead, and then goes from crotched to clinically dead with an avalanche brainbuster for the win! Good big man match, a little short, but fun for what it was, and with some cool spots. **1/2-***.

 

Spot of the Match: Yakuza Kick, Manson slides under and hits a gamen/enzuigiri. Clear that up?

 

WHEN I DO PART TWO LATER TONIGHT: BLANK IS GETTING DRUNK, SLY IS FACING SPIKE, AND BLANK IS GETTING DRUNKER!

[Smartly Pretty 0]

JJ sucks because he doesn't finish things.

 

Alright, so Lockdown starts, and WHO BETTA THAN KANYON? Well, apparently Bruce Blank promos are, and I’m inclined to agree. Comparing Ben Hardy to Larry King is pretty nice, I liked that. Cheap heel heat in the beginning, making fun of Russia, it just screams Bruce Blank. It wasn’t ‘super important main event omgz the swerve1!elventy”, like a lot of opening promos are, and I liked that.

 

Ok, so first match was Manson vs Aecas. Reading this probably would have been a lot easier if I knew how to pronounce Aecas, but I’ll figure it out eventually. “Eh-cus”, maybe? Someone fill me in. Alright, well before the match started we’re reminded that Aecas was in Japan, and making a return. To you older guys, probably nothing, but I have no idea who Aecas is, so this is pretty helpful, and a good bit of commentary to start.

 

Early on Manson uses some dick heel tactics, which is always a good thing when done creatively. The little boot scrape spot was pretty cool. Really cool spot ducking the Yakuza Kick and hitting the gamengiri. This was followed by a nearfall, which is cool, because I feel like the only one who uses nearfalls ().

 

Also, gotta love avalanche brainbusters. Who doesn’t? That’s 2nd only to like, Backdrop drivers. So, yeah, I like what I read, because honestly I had no idea who Aecas was, and now I’m looking forward to seeing him write with a word limit that allows him to write really good stuff.

 

Next segment was a totally awesome Blank promo. Remember that sentence, you’ll read it more than once. Mikhail correcting Blank on his name, dressing up as Zhukov, shaving his mothers beard, singing the Soviet National Anthem…it’s all great, and in that classic Blank way of mixing humor in with his tough guy persona.

 

Sly vs Spike. Right away we know that this is a winner, because it means one of them actually wrote. That’s always a step in the right direction. Really nice bit where Spike uses the ropes to choke Sly over and over, and refuses to let go, holding on for the 5 count he gets.

 

Spike making references to Zyon and Sean Davis is always a plus. This isn’t WWE—Remembering things that happened in the past can’t go wrong. One of the best parts of this match is that the crowds seems so into it, which really puts over Spike’s heel turn. One would think that losing to Zyon would kill heat for the turn, but it seems to be going pretty well. Now, the finish…I don’t actually know what The Ego Trip is, so I felt kind of awkward reading that…but Sly really put it over, so yay.

 

Next segment was a totally awesome Blank promo (see? Told you). ”I mean the guy is about as intelligible as an Ikea build instruction and once you’re done with him you always have a few parts of it left over”. That right there is absolutely brilliant. Rock on, Bruce.

 

Next was Akira/Wayne. This match was totally amazing. Nothing better. Run away match of the year, fo sho. Also, Akira has the best theme music ever. Word.

 

Vodka match next. Now, to be honest, I’m not exactly the biggest fan of house rules. But this was actually a pretty fun idea, looks like. Sean trying to bribe the referee is pretty funny, and Kings comment the proceeds it is gold.

 

The next segment was a totally awesome Blank promo. Bruce does such a great job writing Ben Hardy, it’s unbelievable. Blank then reminds us all that he did indeed beat JJ…he’s beaten a pretty nice list of people, it seems.

 

Next QMM had a promo. Not often does Question Mark Man appear on the show via promo. This beginning of this promo reminded me of one ELM did…I think before the Todd Cortez match, where he paid a hooker to distract Joey Petes. This promo does such a great job of making you say “who the hell IS that?!”. Making references to his past, being a draw and whatnot, you just really want to know who really wrote it. I liked it a lot.

 

JJ vs Wildchild. Let me just say, the signs that opened this match were hysterical. This match was made a bit better because I was hearing about it all goddamn week, and if JJ lost I would have been all “yeh thanx 4 the waste of time hookur”.

 

Really, JJ. You’re entrances are too long. I realize mine are way too short, but it almost becomes a pain to read the entrances when they’re dragging out so much. No one can squeeze as much into a small word space as you can, dude, but really, you wouldn’t need to if you didn’t waste 1000 words on Intros. No one cares about your pyro.

 

Wow. That was the first piece of negative criticism, and I’m 800 words in.

 

Awesome.

 

 

But yeah, you definitely had some really cool spots in the match. Like Frostbite III into the Canadian Hammer. That was really such a great end, because you had nice spots, after nice spots, and it ended really dramatically, but it all made sense. Like a spot fest…but you know…not. We can tell you were former CW champ…just more mature

 

 

Ok, so Grendel vs Zyon. Let me start by saying….why is this non-title? Also, Grendel got Zyon’s hometown wrong. Everyone knows Zyon is from India. It’s common knowledge that it’s a typo in his stats page. AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO NOTICED THIS?!

 

One thing I noticed, the paragraphs all seem to start and end the same way. It’s like…

 

Move move move move-

 

CRACK

 

Commentary

 

-move move move move

 

CRACK

 

And that works most of the time. If that’s the way it goes on in your head, then that’s how you should right it, but when you see it EVERY paragraph, it gets a little distracting. What the match does do very well, is build up the Redeemer as death. Putting over your finisher when you start is a really good idea.

 

Ok, never read anything of Va’aiga, but I know one time he literally hit a burning lariat, so winz. Two new guys in one show, totally marking out for the roster.

 

The main event…great, great stuff at the end. It really puts over Amy as this tough son of a bitch, but more importantly, the angle is REALLY starting to heat up, and is absolutely fantastic. You can’t help but ask yourself how Amy retaliates next week, or what Megan has to say about the whole thing, or what. Really, really, good stuff. Also, one chair shot in particular was sold like…well like it should be. Too often in hardcore matches do certain weapon shots get no-sold because in the grand scheme of the match, it’s irrelevant, and I’ve never really liked that.

 

 

Really, really, really great show this week. Nice job all around.

[Toxxic 0]

Yeah, more YAY! for the return of Va'aiga.

 

Also, I think J3 has been corrupted by Drea. Who wants to do the reboot?