BloodRayne

[Guest Grendel]

 

 

I’d have to say this is the best of the boll films…which doesn’t say much except that maybe in 15 films he’ll finally have a 4 star film. I never remember this getting released in the theaters so it surprised me that it was available at Blockbuster.

 

I have to admit that I decided to check this out primarily because I heard Kristanna Loken gets naked in it, and it was the only copy(of about 15) that was left on the shelf. I was thinking, at that moment in my life that perhaps since it appeared to be a popular rental that this might be a decent flick! I should have stopped to wonder why I making such reasons up in my mind to rent the flick for in the first place.

 

Anyway, this game that has probably lived past its shelf life already gets the big screen crap treatment. It’s not that the story itself is that bad as I have heard that it is the same story from the game…it’s just rather lacking.

 

For those wanting a synopsis I decided not to write one myself but past one from IGN.com.

 

For the uninitiated, BloodRayne is a videogame that features a scantily-clad female Damphir (half-human/half-vampire) who is taken in by the Brimstone Society, a group of vampire hunters who are desperately trying to keep the balance between the human and bloodsucking elements in society. The Damphir is named Rayne and played in the film by Kristinna Loken. Loken is instantly recognizable as the female Terminator from Rise of the Machines, although she has cropped, red hair in this film. Rayne is on a serious mission to rid the world of the top vampire, Kagan, who also happened to murder her mother before her young eyes.

 

The Brimstone Society is led by Vladimir (of course), who is played by Michael Madsen and counts Sebastian (Matt Davis from Blue Crush) and Katarin (grossly miscast as Michelle Rodriguez) as members. After the two get wind of the existence of the Damphir legend, they track her to a circus sideshow, where she is kept in bondage and, as part of the act, is forced to endure horrific pain, which is cured in front of the audience by drinking the blood of a lamb.

 

Although the sideshow makes use of her abilities, Rayne doesn't fully realize what she is until an attempted rape sends her into a rage and awakens her nature. She terrorizes the camp and feasts on everyone, friend and foe, in her vampiric naïveté. When the bloodbath is over, she vows she will only attack and feed on vampires themselves, and further cements her quest against Kagan.

 

This set-up leads to a fairly singular quest—hunting and destroying the ultimate evil—and if the plot sounds straightforward, it is. In fact, it is every bit as straightforward as the videogame source material that spawned it. The film is exactly structured like a game, as well. It's complete with mini-boss and boss fights, weapons and ability upgrades, collectibles (Rayne has to grab three items in order to have the power to defeat Kagan) and a final encounter. Boll has taken the videogame blueprint as literally as a person possibly could, which sounds like a terrible idea. However, unlike House of the Dead and Alone in the Dark, this structure works a lot better in BloodRayne.

 

Anyway, the gore is over the top, campy - Geysers of blood squirt everywhere when someone is cut. The acting is as wooden as a stick and predictable to boot. However, the picture quality is quite well. Also, the ending of the film is rather…odd…and nonsensical.

 

All In all it’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen (i.e. Alone in the Dark, Crow 3) but it’s not the best. For now, and ever more, if I ever want to see Loken naked I’ll just pray she does Playboy. Sorry if everyone hates my little post on this film. I’ll try not to waste bandwith with Boll movies again.

[I like Forums 0]

Pics?

[AndrewTS 0]

How was the "OMGHAWT!!!~" lesbian sex scene that Boll gushed over? Apparently not that interesting. Not that I'm surprised, since he managed to give Alone in the Dark the funniest sex scene around outside of Team America.

 

Oh, and for the record this movie was in theaters, but in extremely limited distribution. Like, nowhere within 100 miles of me limited, and I'm fairly close to Pittsburgh and the West Virginia border. I intend to see this, but not until I get a free rental coupon; I don't pay for Uwe Boll films out of principle.

[cabbageboy 0]

Well I didn't pay full rental for it. I got it (and also Phantoms, which was a free rental) on an overnight rental for 1.99. I didn't really think it was too bad really, aside from Madsen's blatant cash the paycheck performance. I mean seriously, I was in awe of how much he didn't give a shit.

 

To be honest I really don't think a lot of Boll stuff is THAT bad, not like 2.2 on imdb.com level bad. Aside from Alone in the Dark, which was truly a hideous atrocity I'd show people if I was going to torture them. House of the Dead? Eh, it had some fun gore and killing in it.

 

I will say the end credit music from Alone in the Dark had me almost rolling on the floor. Some kind of German rock band, haha.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

For the most part, Bloodrayne is like... Diet-Underworld-Lite. Sugar-Free, to boot. Same kind of short-haired, raspy vamp chick -- except where Selene looks as if she could kick your ass, Rayne [in the movie] was pathetic; really, she seemed barely able to hold the blades let alone fight with them.

 

I actually laughed at the end with the dungeon scene. 'I wont' stop fighting' 'Me either' *cue swelling orchestrals* Apparently, that's Boll's version of 'big inspirational moment'.

 

Kingsley was highly amusing, going for the minimalist approach, as in, wide-eyed and stiff as a board, speaking in complete monotone. Rayne's outfit was like something you'd find on the 75% -discount rack at Hot Topic. Could they not afford skin-tight leather? Good grief...

 

Still, it wasn't too bad of a film. The sex scene was entertaining, as I expected the guy's legs to give out at any moment.

[AndrewTS 0]

What the hell? They actually had her use the same blades on the poster?!

 

How the hell could anyone fight with those things? Let alone two of them?

 

I'll see it at some point though, but it's a shame this is the best Loken can do right now. I have no idea if she can do regular acting, but there's not much anyone could do with a Boll script anyway.

[cabbageboy 0]

I am kinda looking forward to Boll's next debacle, that In the Name of the King (Dungeon Siege) movie. I think it's supposed to be about 3 hours long. It's like his LOTR or something.

 

If there is one thing I can say for Uwe Boll, he does have a style. Whenever I see one of his movies, I know the look and feel immediately. Not that that is a good thing exactly, but it's worth noting.

[Mole 0]

Who the fuck is this Boll guy? And did he get famous for making bad films or something?

[Golgo 13 0]

Keep up, Mole.

 

Bad, extremely low budget video game movies, specifically, mostly in the last few years with more on the way, and the only reason he's able to do it is due to some kind of German tax shelter law. I want to say he's manipulating and abusing that law, but from all accounts he does it by the book and uses it as originally intended. That and some of the ridiculous things that come out of his mouth.

[Special K 0]

House of the Dead's one of the worst movies I've ever seen. I'm not spending a red cent to see any of his others.

 

I'll dig up the awesome Something Awful article on him.

[Special K 0]

http://www.somethingawful.com/index.php?a=2649

 

Pretty damn funny.

[Anya 0]

How the hell could anyone fight with those things? Let alone two of them?

 

 

Peter Moore could.

[2GOLD 0]

Keep up, Mole.

 

Bad, extremely low budget video game movies, specifically, mostly in the last few years with more on the way, and the only reason he's able to do it is due to some kind of German tax shelter law. I want to say he's manipulating and abusing that law, but from all accounts he does it by the book and uses it as originally intended. That and some of the ridiculous things that come out of his mouth.

 

That law is gone now so he might be seriously screwed.

[Golgo 13 0]

Yeah, I heard about that. One can only hope.

[Gary Floyd 0]

It seems like he's sueing the company that distributed "Bloodrayne"

[DangerousDamon 0]

"Then came "House of the Dead," the film that would finally put to rest the eternal debate over whether Boll was as gifted a director as Scorcese, Kurosawa, or Schumacher."

 

HA!

[AndrewTS 0]

Yeah--it was widely known that it was pulled from a crapload of theaters (I remember especially since i was considering going to it so a friend and I could make fun of it). There's probably a strong case there.

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

Keep up, Mole.

 

Bad, extremely low budget video game movies, specifically, mostly in the last few years with more on the way, and the only reason he's able to do it is due to some kind of German tax shelter law. I want to say he's manipulating and abusing that law, but from all accounts he does it by the book and uses it as originally intended. That and some of the ridiculous things that come out of his mouth.

 

That law is gone now so he might be seriously screwed.

I think I might've missed something, but... what was the law-that-is-now-gone?