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Vote Kinky Friedman

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I'm totally voting for Kinky. He wants to make Willie Nelson the head of the Texas Rangers. It don't get better than that. Also, he wants to legalize gambling in Texas in order to give teachers a payraise and to decriminalize marijuana. I don't smoke dope, but...Willie do. I'm not sure if I agree with his plan to get 10,000 armed National Guardsmen to monitor the border, but I'm still gonna vote for him. His slogan is "Kinky Friedman: Why the Hell not?" ...I concur, Kinky.

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I also think the word "negro" is charming. The last time he was accused of racism for calling the Hurricane refugees crackheads and thugs, he was taken out of context. However, the Houston murder rate has risen some 6% since the hurricane. He's gotta win. I mean...he's running against this 70-year old comptroller whose biggest campaign issue was that she wanted the word "Grandma" to precede her name on the ballot, the current governer Rick Perry who's a flip-floppin' Republican and Chris Bell...who nobody knows anything about. Kinky's on the radio doing call-in shows every week and he's out and about all over the state. Everywhere you look, you see Kinky bumperstickers, Kinky signs, and Kinky shirts. And he's got the best campaign slogans: "Kinky Friedman: Why the Hell not?", "He ain't Kinky, he's just my governor.", and "My governor is a Jewish cowboy." He also is a pretty decent singer and author. I think that if Kinky gets elected, he'll be more along the lines of Jesse Ventura and not Arnold Schwarzenegger.

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Holy relevance, Batman! Next week on Wednesday, Kinky Friedman and Jesse Ventura are going to give a joint lecture at my school. This is gonna be so much cooler than last week when Maya Angelou came and talked. She never even told me why the caged bird sings!

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