John Kerry screws up saying anti-Bush punchline

[SuperJerk 0]

Bush on Kerry remark: U.S. troops are 'plenty smart'

 

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush joined GOP lawmakers Tuesday in blasting Sen. John Kerry for telling a group of college students they could either work hard in school or "get stuck in Iraq."

 

"Even in the midst of a heated campaign season, there are still some things we should all be able to agree on, and one of the most important is that every one of our troops deserves our gratitude and respect," Bush said.

 

Kerry told reporters in Seattle, Washington, that the remark was a "botched joke" meant to target the president, not U.S. troops.

 

Bush added that U.S. troops deserve the full support of the government. (Watch Kerry say he won't apologize for criticizing the president and "his broken policy" -- 9:33)

 

"The senator's suggestion that the men and women of our military are somehow uneducated is insulting and shameful," Bush said. "The men and women who serve in our all-volunteer armed forces are plenty smart and are serving because they are patriots -- and Senator Kerry owes them an apology."

 

Republicans unleashed a firestorm of criticism against Kerry after the Vietnam veteran's remarks on Monday, but Kerry said Tuesday that he made a mistake.

 

"The White House's attempt to distort my true statement is a remarkable testament to their abject failure in making America safe," the Massachusetts senator said. "It's a stunning statement about their willingness to reduce anything in America to raw politics."

 

Kerry's comment did not sit well even with leading members of his own party. A number of top Democrats told CNN they were upset with the senator for giving the Republicans election-time ammunition -- even if the GOP was hyping the remark.

 

"He has already cost us one election. The guy just needs to keep his mouth shut until after the election," a top Democratic strategist said Tuesday.

 

But not all Democrats concurred. Vietnam veteran and former U.S. Sen. Max Cleland of Georgia defended Kerry and applauded the senator for showing "our party how to fight back with the truth."

 

"John Kerry is a patriot who has fought tooth and nail for veterans ever since he came home from Vietnam. He has stood with his brothers in arms unlike this administration, which exploits our troops to make a political point and divide America," Cleland said in a statment.

 

Before Kerry's clarification, White House press secretary Tony Snow, House Majority Leader John Boehner and Sen. John McCain, R-Arizona, lambasted the four-term senator and demanded he apologize. (Watch Kerry's 'botched joke' that launched the political stink -- 1:50)

 

A CNN poll suggests that Iraq is the second-most important issue, behind the economy, as voters ponder for whom to cast their ballots in next week's midterms.

 

White House: 'An absolute insult'

"This is an absolute insult," Snow said at a daily press briefing. "Senator Kerry not only owes an apology to those who are serving, but also to the families of those who've given their lives in this."

 

Boehner, an Ohio Republican, said the remark was "insulting" and called on "Democrat candidates across the country" to publicly denounce the comment.

 

"These Americans who are risking their lives in the fight against terrorism in Iraq deserve better than to have their service demeaned by a United States senator," Boehner said in a statement. "Our soldiers need John Kerry's support, yet John Kerry offers nothing more than disparaging commentary."

 

Kerry, who is not up for re-election this year, fired back at the White House and the GOP, saying he was not disparaging U.S. soldiers.

 

"If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy," he said. "No Democrat will be bullied by an administration that has a cut-and-run policy in Afghanistan and a stand-still-and-lose strategy in Iraq."

 

Kerry, the 2004 Democratic presidential candidate, spoke to students at Pasadena City College in California on Monday.

 

According to the San Gabriel Valley Tribune, the senator took the stage to roaring applause before regaling the crowd with one-liners, Bush barbs and tales of surfing at nearby Mission Beach.

 

He then said: "You know, education -- if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well.

 

"If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

 

Comment 'mangled in delivery'

A Kerry aide told CNN that the prepared statement, which had been designed to criticize President Bush, "was mangled in delivery."

 

Kerry was supposed to say, "I can't overstress the importance of a great education. Do you know where you end up if you don't study, if you aren't smart, if you're intellectually lazy? You end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq."

 

Before the announcement that the statement was botched, McCain, a Vietnam veteran and former prisoner of war, joined his GOP colleagues in condemning the remark and demanding an apology.

 

"Senator Kerry owes an apology to the many thousands of Americans serving in Iraq, who answered their country's call because they are patriots and not because of any deficiencies in their education," McCain said in a statement.

 

U.S. troops "deserve our respect and deepest gratitude for their service," he added and said the notion that only those with poor educations serve in the Iraq "is an insult to every soldier serving in combat."

 

"Without them, we wouldn't live in a country where people securely possess all their God-given rights, including the right to express insensitive, ill-considered and uninformed remarks," McCain said.

 

But Kerry refused to relent, calling the criticism part of the "classic GOP playbook."

 

"I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed-suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq."

 

He further expressed disgust with "Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country."

 

Kerry added that President Bush and Vice President Cheney "owe our troops an apology" because they "misled America into war."

 

Bush and Cheney "have given us a Katrina foreign policy that has betrayed our ideals, killed and maimed our soldiers, and widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it," the senator said.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/POLITICS/10/31/ker...cain/index.html

 

Kerry was talking about Bush getting stuck in Iraq, and was not saying the soldiers weren't educated. Kerry didn't say anything about soldiers in the quote, but the Republicans are literally acting like he said "Soldiers are ignorant and uneducated."

 

Of course, there's a few people try to claim Kerry was actually publicly insulting American soldiers during an election campaign. Anyone who says Kerry would do this is being intellectually dishonest, and anyone who claims to really think that's what he meant is lying to score political points.

[CheesalaIsGood 0]

I need oxygen.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Kerry's response to the attacks:

 

If anyone thinks a veteran would criticize the more than 140,000 heroes serving in Iraq and not the president who got us stuck there, they're crazy. This is the classic G.O.P. playbook. I'm sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did.

 

I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium, or doughy Rush Limbaugh, who no doubt today will take a break from belittling Michael J. Fox's Parkinson's disease to start lying about me just as they have lied about Iraq . It disgusts me that these Republican hacks, who have never worn the uniform of our country lie and distort so blatantly and carelessly about those who have.

 

The people who owe our troops an apology are George W. Bush and Dick Cheney who misled America into war and have given us a Katrina foreign policy that has betrayed our ideals, killed and maimed our soldiers, and widened the terrorist threat instead of defeating it. These Republicans are afraid to debate veterans who live and breathe the concerns of our troops, not the empty slogans of an Administration that sent our brave troops to war without body armor.

 

Bottom line, these Republicans want to debate straw men because they're afraid to debate real men. And this time it won't work because we're going to stay in their face with the truth and deny them even a sliver of light for their distortions. No Democrat will be bullied by an administration that has a cut and run policy in Afghanistan and a stand still and lose strategy in Iraq.

 

Why couldn't Kerry have had a sack like this, I dunno, about 2 or so years ago?

[NYU 0]

Al Gore had the same problem. The Democrats don't realize that the American people love to elect someone that has a distinct personality. That's partially why Clinton held onto office for eight years, while Gore and Kerry came close to winning but couldn't quite get there.

[SuperJerk 0]

Why couldn't Kerry have had a sack like this, I dunno, about 2 or so years ago?

 

Probably because of every poll where people say they're tired of politiicans bashing each other instead of talking about issues.

 

Of course, those polls are full of shit.

[Guest Felonies!]

Kerry was talking about Bush getting stuck in Iraq, and was not saying the soldiers weren't educated. Kerry didn't say anything about soldiers in the quote, but the Republicans are literally acting like he said "Soldiers are ignorant and uneducated."

 

Of course, there's a few people try to claim Kerry was actually publicly insulting American soldiers during an election campaign. Anyone who says Kerry would do this is being intellectually dishonest, and anyone who claims to really think that's what he meant is lying to score political points.

I find that hard to believe. It's a worst-kept secret that recruiters prey on kids who won't be going to college. And to be honest, "go to school if the alternative is the military" is pretty sound advice for that borderline contingent of kids who could either get it together and be good students or wind up as townies. This explanation makes a hell of a lot more sense than his own. Besides, hasn't Kerry played the "you is gonna die" card in the past?

 

"You know, education -- if you make the most of it, you study hard and you do your homework and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well.

 

"If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

I don't know, I think "if you don't work hard and get good grades, you will lose attractive options for your future and may resort to unpleasant and unjustified military service" is easier to infer from this than "if you don't work hard and get good grades, you will coast through an Ivy League school on your surname, be elected to the highest office in the nation, and make ill-advised foreign policy decisions due to an inner circle that is less than trustworthy." Or am I just being intellectually dishonest here?

[Dobbs 3K 0]

Yeah, but I really doubt a Vietnam veteran is going to be bashing our troops in public, joke or not. He was talking about the President.

[JHawk 0]

Hell, I'm all for some good old George W. Bush bashing, but how else were people going to take Kerry's comment, as least in the context it was presented here?

 

I loved the shot at Limbaugh though. Good stuff there.

[EricMM 0]

Yeah, no, I think it's fairly clear that he was talking about people no going to college and ending up enlisting, like Felonies said.

 

I mean come on, it's called context. And its halfways true, honestly. But the other half is going to take some serious offense.

[Guest Felonies!]

Yeah, but I really doubt a Vietnam veteran is going to be bashing our troops in public, joke or not. He was talking about the President.

I'm sorry, but you really have to take the scenic route to arrive at "go to school or you'll go to war" as a direct ad hominem against Bush.

[BUTT 0]

No, the joke is:

 

Bush is dummmmmmb

AND

Bush is "stuck in Iraq" (you know, all the problems there and whatnot)

 

 

I know the left hates freedom and the troops and all, but that's what I'm getting from Kerry's bad joke.

[snuffbox 0]

Kerry definitly fucked his 'joke' up, but it is nice to see him finally acting like a passionate human being...something he only did at a few rallies in '04.

 

This is not nearly as disgusting as a Commander-in-Chief dressing up like a GI Joe doll to give a John Wayne speech underneath a banner saying 'Mission Accomplished' while Americans would fight and die for years to come. Kerry's mindless joke attempt pales in comparison so get over it GOP & ball-less Dems.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Let's not forget the President at that banquet a couple of years back joking about not being able to find weapons of mass destruction while a picture of him looking under a table was shown.

[snuffbox 0]

And the Liberal Terrorist Media spends more time on this Kerry 'issue' than on both Bush debacles combined.

[bobobrazil1984 0]

on the plus side, maybe this bad publicity will put the final kibosh on his oft-mentioned possibility of running again in 2008. I was really getting that vibe from him based on his comments.

[Art Sandusky 0]

http://yougetstuckinarack.ytmnd.com/

[The Robfather 0]

[Downhome 0]

"He was for the joke before he was against it." - Dick Cheney

 

[NoCalMike 0]

The funny thing is now the media will be the typical sensationalistic media and run with this story ad naseum, instead of oh talk about how shiate militias have inflitrated the Iraqi army.....

 

In Baghdad, a Force Under the Militias' Sway

Infiltration of Iraqi Police Could Delay Handover of Control for Years, U.S. Trainers Suggest

 

By Amit R. Paley

Washington Post Staff Writer

Tuesday, October 31, 2006; Page A01

 

BAGHDAD -- The signs of the militias are everywhere at the Sholeh police station.

 

Posters celebrating Moqtada al-Sadr, head of the Mahdi Army militia, dot the building's walls. The police chief sometimes remarks that Shiite militias should wipe out all Sunnis. Visitors to this violent neighborhood in the Iraqi capital whisper that nearly all the police officers have split loyalties.

 

Members of the 372nd Military Police Battalion visit the police station in Baghdad's al-Amil district, where a U.S. report found the commander "afraid to report suspected militia members." (By Amit R. Paley -- The Washington Post)

 

And then one rainy night this month, the Sholeh police set up an ambush and killed Army Cpl. Kenny F. Stanton Jr., a 20-year-old budding journalist, his unit said. At the time, Stanton and other members of the unit had been trailing a group of Sholeh police escorting known Mahdi Army members.

 

"How can we expect ordinary Iraqis to trust the police when we don't even trust them not to kill our own men?" asked Capt. Alexander Shaw, head of the police transition team of the 372nd Military Police Battalion, a Washington-based unit charged with overseeing training of all Iraqi police in western Baghdad. "To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure we're ever going to have police here that are free of the militia influence."

 

The top U.S. military commander in Iraq, Gen. George W. Casey Jr., predicted last week that Iraqi security forces would be able to take control of the country in 12 to 18 months. But several days spent with American units training the Iraqi police illustrated why those soldiers on the ground believe it may take decades longer than Casey's assessment.

 

Seventy percent of the Iraqi police force has been infiltrated by militias, primarily the Mahdi Army, according to Shaw and other military police trainers. Police officers are too terrified to patrol enormous swaths of the capital. And while there are some good cops, many have been assassinated or are considering quitting the force.

 

"None of the Iraqi police are working to make their country better," said Brig. Gen. Salah al-Ani, chief of police for the western half of Baghdad. "They're working for the militias or to put money in their pocket."

 

U.S. military reports on the Iraqi police often read like a who's who of the two main militias in Iraq: the Mahdi Army, also known as Jaish al-Mahdi or JAM, and the Badr Organization, also known as the Badr Brigade or Badr Corps.

 

One document on the Karrada district police chief says: "I strongly believe that he is a member of Badr Corps and tends to turn a blind eye to JAM activity." Another explains that the station commander in the al-Amil neighborhood "is afraid to report suspected militia members in his organization due to fear of reprisals."

 

American soldiers said that although they gather evidence of police ties to the militias and present it to Iraqi officials, no one has ever been criminally charged or even lost their jobs.

 

Among the worst of the suspected Mahdi Army members is Lt. Col. Musa Khadim Lazim Asadi, station commander of the Ghazaliyah patrol police. "He has stated to us that he does not believe the Mahdi Militia is a bad organization," a military report said. "He had a picture of Sadr in his vehicle until we said something about it."

 

"He is a cancer to the station and the people of Ghazaliyah," the report concluded.

 

On a recent visit to the blue-and-white facility, located in one of the most violent parts of the city, even other police officers in the building complained that Asadi and his subordinates are corrupt and tied to the militias. "They steal vehicles and kill people," said 1st Lt. Sarmad Sabar Dawood, assistant commander for the local police, which is independent of the patrol police. "In fact, we are investigating Colonel Musa and the patrol police for criminal behavior."

 

But when U.S. military officials visited Asadi on a recent afternoon, he not only denied that his men were involved in the militias or crime but refused to acknowledge that there had been any killings in the area at all. Although scores of tortured bodies are often found in the neighborhood, Asadi said the murders all took place somewhere else.

 

 

At his response, 1st Lt. Cadetta Bridges shook her head in disbelief. "This guy is a crook and a liar," said Bridges, 31, of Upper Marlboro. "They're all crooks and liars."

 

Shaw, 32, of Alexandria, turned the conversation to the confusing division of Iraqi police forces into three autonomous parts: patrol police, regular police who investigate cases, and traffic police. The U.S. military has proposed reorganizing the force so that there is one commander in each neighborhood responsible for all the police. So far, Shaw said, Iraqi officials have not been receptive.

 

The problems with the tripartite division were evident in Sholeh. Sitting in Asadi's second-floor office, Shaw asked him if he worked with the regular police on the ground floor.

 

"Of course not," Asadi replied brusquely. "Why do we need to coordinate with them?"

 

Visibly exasperated, Shaw and Bridges quickly left and headed for a police station in Mansour, a relatively safe neighborhood in central Baghdad, to meet with a police major they described as one of the better cops they'd encountered.

 

When Shaw asked what the police in Mansour were doing to reduce the violence, the major said: "There is nothing the police can do. The only solution is to create a government that will take away the militias. Then everything will be fine."

 

The major, who asked to be identified as Abu Ahmed because he feared for his safety if his full name was published, sat in a closet-size room that he hardly ever leaves. Orange-and-brown sheets covered a tiny bed next to his desk.

 

"I can't go home or I'll be killed," said Abu Ahmed, who sees his children only when police officers can bring them to the station. He sighed as he looked at photographs of two recently assassinated officers. "And it's getting worse. So much worse."

 

"I think I must quit soon," he said quietly.

 

Arabi Araf Ali, a police officer in the southern neighborhood of Dora, said police do little more than pick dead bodies up off the street. In the station's parking lot nearby, a colleague washed off a police truck that had just been used to retrieve the corpses of five Shiite men slaughtered that morning. Brain matter littered the ground.

 

"Some parts of Dora are so dangerous," Ali added, "that we cannot even pick up the bodies there without Americans. We are just too afraid."

 

The Iraqi police are not the only ones who feel unsafe. The American soldiers and civilians who train the Iraqis are constantly on guard against the possibility that the police might turn against them. Even in the police headquarters for all of western Baghdad, one of the safest police buildings in the capital, the training team will not remove their body armor or helmets. An armed soldier is assigned to protect each trainer.

 

"I wouldn't let half of them feed my dog," 1st Lt. Floyd D. Estes Jr., a former head of the police transition team, said of the Iraqi police. "I just don't trust them."

 

Jon Moore, the deputy team chief, said: "We don't know who the hell we're teaching: Are they police or are they militia?"

 

The trainers agree that Ani, the new police chief for western Baghdad, is an honest cop who is trying to get the police force in order. But Ani acknowledged in a meeting with U.S. officials that he does not plan to root out and fire militia members.

 

"I don't have that power," he said. "There are people higher than me that control that."

 

Among Ani's bosses are the police chief for all of Baghdad, who has been linked to the Mahdi Army, and the minister of the interior, who is a member of Sadr's political bloc.

 

"I think he's trying to do the right thing," said Lt. Col Aaron Dean, the battalion commander, as he walked to his Humvee after the meeting with Ani. "But I know they're all under certain influences. If you take a big stand against the militias, they're going to come after you."

 

The difficulty of eliminating corruption and militias from the Iraqi police forces can be exasperating for the American soldiers who risk their lives day after day to train them. "We can keep getting in our Humvees every day, but nothing is going to work unless the politicians do their job and move against the militias," Moore said.

 

Sitting in the battalion's war room with four other members of his team, Moore estimated it would take 30 to 40 years before the Iraqi police could function properly, perhaps longer if the militia infiltration and corruption continue to increase. His colleagues nodded.

 

"It's very, very slow-moving," Estes said.

 

"No," said Sgt. 1st Class William T. King Jr., another member of the team. "It's moving in reverse."

 

....and some will still have the audacity to say "the media is sooo uber liberal"

[Guest Felonies!]

Okay Mike, I'm sure that was some fascinating shit, but what does that have to do with the John Kerry slip-up? Aren't you just misdirecting us from the topic at hand, irrelevant as it may be?

[NoCalMike 0]

Okay Mike, I'm sure that was some fascinating shit, but what does that have to do with the John Kerry slip-up?

 

My point was basically to say that the John Kerry joke or whatnot is a total fucking NON-STORY, yet the media is going to run with it and basically play right into the republicans hands, because that has been the republican's strategy for what, 6 years now? Turn the attention AWAY from the issues and onto bullshit like this....and I guess for the fun of it, I included a story about Iraq that SHOULD BE getting ten times the attention that the Kerry-Joke is.

[Guest Felonies!]

Okay, ha ha. You just rocked my pretty little world. Anyway, I do find this non-story to be kind of interesting. It was a risky comment on Kerry's part, since it's triggered this GOP counter-attack, but the guy does have a good point. Unless you're altruistic and patriotic to a fault, you're probably going to elect to do something other than fight this stupid war of ours if there are better plans for your future.

 

This sounds so patronizing and I'm beating myself up for it, but in a lot of cases, military service is probably the best option for a lot of guys my age. A distant cousin of mine joined the Marines a while ago, and I think he just arrived in Iraq within the last month. The prevailing sentiment in the family seems to be that it's really scary that he's wrapped up in this, but if he makes it out of this thing, God willing, he'll come out of it with a better future than he would've gotten if he was just hanging around Rhinelander selling worms or something. So it's not that these guys are idiots by any means, they're just not in a situation to go right to higher education. If you can find a place for yourself where life after military service isn't the only thing you can really look forward to, then by all means make that happen. It beats dying.

[SuperJerk 0]

I find it funny how the Republicans assumed Kerry meant the solidiers when he was talking about people being stuck in Iraq.

 

Are they finally admitting that our sodliers ARE stuck in Iraq?

 

edit: I also find it funny that the only person who seriously thinks Kerry meant the soldiers is also trying to argue that soliders are uneducated.

Edited November 2, 2006 by SuperJerk

[2GOLD 0]

The end result of this story is John Kerry just sucks at telling a joke.

Next time he should start simple, like with knock knock jokes. Or some yo mama jokes. Then he can work up to the complicated ones.

Followed by ironic musings and riddles.

 

Once he masters joke telling, it's smooth sailing to the Presidency.

[Guest Felonies!]

If John Kerry is this great orator that we were told he is two years ago, why is he always botching lines like this?

[Guest Overworked]

And of course this will get magnified a hundred times over in these next precious few days in order to use it to keep the republicans in power.

 

And why does Kerry and Gore for that matter show more political teeth when they are Not running than when they are running? Simply put they don't do it because it might offend voters who aren't solidly in their camp.

[Dobbs 3K 0]

I'd rather vote for a guy who tells it like it is and doesn't pull punches in his speeches, then someone who sidesteps everything and gives vague answers (like Kerry did in '04, though I voted for him anyway). I think most voters would basically agree.

[EricMM 0]

Actually, I heard that if you read his notes, the joke was supposed to be something like, if you don't go to school, you end up dumb and do stupid stuff like getting stuck in Iraq, like Bush did.

[Dobbs 3K 0]

See, that makes a little more sense than for him to be attacking the troops.

[The Robfather 0]

John Kerry is the gift that keeps on giving.

 

"I was for the joke before I was against it"