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Kinetic

The Incredible Threadable Egg

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I made a little egg mcmuffin thing today- here's how!

 

1. get an english muffin, cut it, put it in toaster to however you like it. butter if you like it as well.

2. get like a small bowl. no bigger than say 5" in diameter and a few inches high. The more cylindrical the better. Try to find one that will be about the size of your english muffin.

3. crack open the egg, put it in the bowl. use a fork, break the yolk. don't make it scrambled though, make sure you can clearly see yolk. split the difference between scrambled and not scrambled.

4. put the egg shit in the microwave, about 40 seconds.

5. place cooked egg (it should probably look all psychedelic at this point) on bottom half of toasted english muffin

6. place slice of cheese on other side of english muffin, microwave for about 20-30 seconds.

7. assemble

8. put in eating recepticle

9. chew

10. swallow

11. shit out a few hours later.

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I make something similar to that with Spam. I don't give a shit, Spam is fucking good. As a Hawaiian, I'm sure you're used to that, pbone. It was all over the place when I was there.

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Egg McMuffins are easy... go to the store, by some canning lids (the small ones) break the egg into that sitting on your skillet and cook however you want it. Perfect size for English Muffins.

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Guest Vitamin X

Yeah it's just a small, flat, poached egg with cheese on top and a slight amount of butter on the inside of the muffin. Not very difficult.

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise
Egg McMuffins are easy... go to the store, by some canning lids (the small ones) break the egg into that sitting on your skillet and cook however you want it.

The use of the preposition where there should be a verb for "to purchase" changes the instructions here quite a bit!

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I'm currently fatter than a house, due in no small part to my love of the humble scotch egg. I believe that in between the egg and sausagemeat there is a gas which exists nowhere else in the world. Yum!

 

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You know, with the exception of the Italians, French and occasionally the Spanish, I talk a lot of shit about European food, but sometimes it's just insanely good, the Scotch egg being one of those times.

 

(Not that I'm being xenophobic, as the actual Scots are by far the worst, betraying my own Scottish heritage. The truest thing Mike Myers ever said was that most Scottish cuisine was based on a dare. Good liquor, though.)

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Guest My Pal, the Tortoise

WHAT is THAT. Is that an egg wrapped in sausage wrapped in breading? How did you guys beat the American South to that? I mean, I know you had a head start, but still!

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Czech, you should know that the Scotch egg was invented in 1738, well before there were even British colonies over here. I learned this from wikipedia, which also tells me that serving them hot is mostly a US thing, which is how I've had them.

 

Cold Scotch eggs? A little weird, but I think it would be ok. It also says here that they have gained a bad reputation from being pre-made, plastic wrapped and sold at convenience stores. That I don't think I'd be cool with.

 

Also, speaking of haggis... it's supposed to taste really good even though it doesn't sound good. They make vegetarian versions which are supposed to taste the same. I might try that so I can see what it tastes like without triggering projectile vomiting due to the content. I've toyed with the idea of getting a Scottish Coat of Arms tattoo, but I wouldn't feel right about it unless I'd eaten haggis at least once.

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Haggis is pretty nondescript if you don't get involved in the prepairing side. I've had it a fair few times and it's just kinda like mince and oats, not served up as a big ole stomach ball or anything. Spretty good though, especially with a bit of whisky on drizzled over and some strong mustard. Hard to describe the flavour, salty meat like - good texture too, not to much gristle and the like.

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