Man Charged w/ battery for farting on cop

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26877682/

 

SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A man has been charged with battery on a police officer for allegedly passing gas and fanning it toward a patrolman.

 

Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, W. Va., was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.

 

As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.

 

Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.

 

"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.

 

He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.

 

'I couldn't hold it no more'

 

Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.

 

"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.

 

He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.

 

Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.

 

"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I couldn't hold it no more.

[Copper Feel 0]

I'm not going to lie to you, that definitely has the air of a new member title to it.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

It's times like these that I really miss Socksquatch.

 

 

FART.

[Dandy 0]

This is all over the news here. This happened about 35 minutes down the road. The charges have been dropped. Well, the fart charges...he is still being charged with the DUI.

[2GOLD 0]

 

Judd Apatow must be pissed he didn't think of it for one of his HILARIOUS scripts.

[At Home 0]

What the fuck are you talking about, 2gold? Apatow flicks are almost completely devoid of fart jokes.

[2GOLD 0]

 

Yeah, I know. Judd was currently on my rage. Rough f'n day and it's better to take it out on a guy who I don't know than take a shot at someone I do know. Ultimately it makes no sense and I don't even know what the FUCK I was thinking at the time. need a vacation from shit, I swear.

 

No offense Judd fans, just not a fan of the guy and his Knocked Up was the person's who I'm really pissed at favorite movie.

[The Niggardly King 0]

I could see this happening in a Seth Rogen film... gold call 2Good.

[BX 0]

I could see this happening in an Ingmar Bergman film, good call 2gold

[Ravenbomb 0]

If it were in a Bergman movie it'd have to have been an SBD.