Mom sucks baby's wee wee

[Nighthawk]

His larger point is true, though. One of the funniest things I ever saw Sarah Silverman say was, in answer to a question about what her erogenous zones were, "My vagina, asshole." Very true, and most women would not say that.

 

Meh, I shouldn't be threatened. She fucks Jimmy Kimmel, I'm definitely more attractive than him, and at least as charismatic, if not more so.

[Gary Floyd]

Eh, I like Maria Bamford. She amuses me.

[Lord of The Curry]

Did Jimmy and Silverman break up a while back?

[Nighthawk]

Yeah, but they got back together. I actually looked that up before I made the reference... loser that I am.

[Jingus]

I've never quite understood the "women are never funny" meme. Uh... why? When I pose that question to anyone of that opinion, they always go "man, they just aren't, period" with no further analysis. Then half the time they'll talk about something Adam Sandler did that made them laugh their ass off.

[Nighthawk]

Well what more reason do you want? They just aren't. I don't fucking know why.

 

That's like saying "Why are the Chinese bad drivers?" or "Why are black people good at rapping?"

[Kinetic]

Kinetic's friend is funny because she's a lesbian, and more manish than women.

 

Not true. She was actually pre-lesbian when I associated with her. She was just a really cute, smart girl who also happened to be funny. We had the same sense of humor, was what it was. We'd get together and it'd be a big old laughing party.

 

I do see the broader point about men being funnier than women, however.

 

[naiwf]

I tend to not find female comics funny simply because they try too hard to either fit into/avoid racial stereotypes if they're not white, or their whole set is about how hard it is/easy it is to find a man or the pressures of being 30something and childless. The subject matter isn't funny and then they just drone on and on about something that your average guy just doesn't give a shit about at the end of the day. I've had female friends who are funny, but I agree with the person who said women tend to filter their thoughts and I think that takes away from the comedy most times.

[At Home]

Look, the real issue here is that men are better than women.

[TheFranchise]

Look, the real issue here is that men are better than women.

I concur. I also had an argument on the shop floor at work a few months ago now, with a 40 something year old woman. This was after I was telling a co-worker (a member of this very forum no less) that how I treated my girlfriend was right, and that she accepted that men were better than women. The (male) co-worker then proceeded to tell me if you ever argue with a woman, then no matter who's wrong, the man is wrong.

 

Yes, he said that.

 

Well, of course I wasn't having that.

 

What followed was a near hour-long argument about why women or men were better, between me and the 40-something woman, all the while that the (male) co-worker (and forum member) backed her up.

 

I don't know why I told you all that, but hopefully the (male) co-worker reads this just as a reminder than in an argument, the man is indeed right, no matter what the subject.

[The Niggardly King]

Lisa Lampanelli ...funny.

No

 

No

 

Just... no

 

HEY I'M FAT WHITE AND SUCK A LOTTA BLACK DICK, WHERE'S THE WETBACK AND DEM FAGS AT??!!

 

You mean... that this, sir... is not comedy in your opinion?

[The Niggardly King]

I've never quite understood the "women are never funny" meme. Uh... why? When I pose that question to anyone of that opinion, they always go "man, they just aren't, period" with no further analysis. Then half the time they'll talk about something Adam Sandler did that made them laugh their ass off.

 

You just have vagina envy. It's pretty obvious if most people read between the lines of your posts.

[Angle-plex]

I don't know any females in my personal life that I would classify as "funny". Maybe they'll come back with a funny line after we're already bantering about nonsense, but that only happens 5% of the times and they never initiate the funny conversation on their own.

[At Home]

Look, the real issue here is that men are better than women.

The (male) co-worker then proceeded to tell me if you ever argue with a woman, then no matter who's wrong, the man is wrong.

 

That's mostly true. Arguments with women are usually a losing battle, no matter how good your case is or how much you win. It's tragic, really.

[BruteSquad_BRODY]

I thought that was common knowledge

[Nighthawk]

It's wrong. Just don't argue with them like a man, argue like a woman.

 

I'm telling you, dudes, if you can really hurt her feelings, I mean really make her feel like shit about herself, then you've won. Doesn't even matter what you're talking about.

[TheFranchise]

What the hell is wrong with you guys?

 

If a woman thinks shes right, simply make her believe she's wrong, then she'll be under the thumb forever.

 

It's really not a trick, its just common sense.

 

Oh, and (not that this would ever happen to me, ahem) if she ever says you're too small, say she's too big.

 

It shuts them up instantly.

 

Edit: Or just do what I do when you really can't win, just fuck her off and get a new woman.

[Nighthawk]

My nigga!

 

You guys are just some bitches. Especially pbone. I didn't realize how much of a faggot he was until recently.

[Copper Feel]

Look, the real issue here is that men are better than women.

The (male) co-worker then proceeded to tell me if you ever argue with a woman, then no matter who's wrong, the man is wrong.

 

That's mostly true. Arguments with women are usually a losing battle, no matter how good your case is or how much you win. It's tragic, really.

 

This coming from the man who was claiming that men are better than women with absolute certainty just a couple of posts ago? Show some genetic pride!

[At Home]

No one argues with women more than I do. I've been right on 95% of the issues, but you can't debate against a brick wall. I'm saying that even if you clearly win an argument, you've lost something. Not your dignity or anything like that, but that bitch just won't want to talk to you again (unless it's like a girlfriend) because she knows she's been bested. So, for better or for worse, there's going to be changes a-stump.

 

Also, what's this shit with making girls believe they're wrong? Once a bitch has an idea, it's stuck in there forever.

[Nighthawk]

Don't debate. There's your problem right there.

 

You don't just make her believe she's wrong about her idea, you make her believe she's wrong about everything.

 

They love it. Yeah, she's a feminist, and I think that's adorable, but this is grown up time, and they all want a man to tell them what to think.

[Kinetic]

I think a lot of you are associating with the wrong sort of woman, see. You need to find girls that are your, uh..."intellectual equal," if you can imagine a woman being such a thing.

 

The post Dave just made is the worst thing I've ever read on this forum. I don't know if I can post here anymore.

[foleyfanforever88]

Sarah Silverman is the exact opposite of funny.

[TheFranchise]

Who's Dave?

 

I really should learn the peoples names on here.

[Kinetic]

Nah, Sarah Silverman is funny. That show she had on Comedy Central, now...that wasn't funny at all. The girl I was talking about earlier kinda looked like her, but without the big flared nostrils.

 

Anyhoo, yeah, "intellectual equals." It's tough, because girls often aren't encouraged by either their parents or society to be smart. Intelligence isn't regarded as a feminine trait. So you gotta go with either Asians or feminists. If you can nail an Asian feminist...jackpot.

[Nighthawk]

Asian feminist? That's like Christians Against Christ.

 

But hey, I'm just saying if you want to be psychologically manipulative, play to what society has already given you. You can do it with men too. And frankly, if a woman is the kind of woman who won't listen to reason, she also thinks about nothing but makeup and stickers and ponies and myspace.com, and wants to forget all her troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Those women are less than human. You cum in them, then you crumple them up and throw them in the garbage. You've done the world a favor.

[Copper Feel]

The topics with the least inviting titles are always the ones that contain the best discussion.

[Kinetic]

But hey, I'm just saying if you want to be psychologically manipulative, play to what society has already given you. You can do it with men too. And frankly, if a woman is the kind of woman who won't listen to reason, she also thinks about nothing but makeup and stickers and ponies and myspace.com, and wants to forget all her troubles with a big bowl of strawberry ice cream. Those women are less than human. You cum in them, then you crumple them up and throw them in the garbage. You've done the world a favor.

 

Sure, but these girls belong with their male equivalents. I'm thinking of someone along the lines of the two guys who talked my ear off for fifteen minutes at work the other day about condoms, claiming that their dicks were too big to fit in no LifeStyles. These people go together like geese and ganders. A lot of dudes have a low opinion of girls because they only associate with girls who are dumber than they are. They're intimidated by smarter girls and therefore won't approach them. Me, I can't date no dumb bitch. She doesn't have to be a Rhodes scholar or anything, but she's at least gotta be pretty good at Scrabble.

[Nighthawk]

That's true. As essentially a failure at life, I've traditionally been around girls who are intellectually bankrupt, and use sex as a weapon. As I've raised my standards, I've discovered that well educated and intelligent women feel much more comfortable. That has to do with my own confidence, though, as you said... I used to just not approach them.

 

I'm still not above fucking street trash, though.

[Copper Feel]

Someone being intelligent does not automatically make them funny though. I wouldn't date a stupid woman either, just because of how frustrating any and all conversation would be with her. Nonetheless, I am yet to meet a woman who is capable of making me laugh on a regular basis.