Weird Girls In School

[At Home 0]

Jessica Jo: A rail-thin dancer from my high school who was about as innocent and shielded from the world as one could possibly imagine. All the basic symptoms: never kissed, never went party, never saw alcohol, didn't know basic sexual euphemisms, and was raised by an ultra-protective single mother. My dad once struck up a conversation with her mom, and when asked about what colleges J-Jo was apply to, she said, "her and her brother are going to go on a college tour with the school over spring break to look at campus security." Campus security. The girl wanted to become a doctor because her favorite TV show was Grey's Anatomy. Smart nonetheless, but the human equivalent to Yeats' little white lamb. Our friendship was cut short when her mom saw a piece of paper that one of her friends wrote as a joke, blamed it on me and a friend, and made us have a whole intervention thing about harassment for 3 hours. I assume that she is now a prostitute, preferably of the crack variety.

 

Tara: Friends with this girl in middle school. I went over to her house, and she pissed on a heap of towels because she didn't want to use the toilet in front of me.

 

Saira: Her parents must've been the two oldest parents I've ever seen, and yes they were her parents and not grandparents. She was of some weird middle-easter descent, but had an unfortunate haircut, a frumpy body, voice like a belled trumpet, and those zip-up leather shoes that are quintessential to the whole weird-girl persona. She tried being a teacher's pet, but her annoyingness permeated the deepest emotional reserves of her teachers, and even they hated her too and would make cruel (yet unendingly funny) jokes at her expense. Ended up blowing some guy at a school dance who never brushed his teeth.

 

 

[King Kamala 0]

Ashley: Girl in my 4th and 5th grade class that was absolutely obsessed with unicorns. Now this was the stage where liking unicorns was absolutely uncool. All of the creative writing assigments she did seemed to revolve around them, drew a bunch of pictures of them. She was also an obsessive clean freak. When a paper would fall out of her desk, she'd burst into tears. No exaggeration. She moved away before middle school. Last I heard of her, she was the mark in a somewhat elaborate, mildly amusing practical joke where she IMed one of our old classmates in 8th grade and they told her that me and a few other male classmates had formed a boy band called The Electric Sharks that was getting interest from Lou Pearlman.

[Kinetic 0]

In my senior year of high school, I was in a creative writing class with this frumpy fat girl who somehow managed to turn every assignment into an opportunity to write Europe fan fiction. Yes, Europe as in "The Final Countdown" Europe. This was in 2001. How she had ever even heard of Europe, let alone developed the sort of obession with them that would lend itself to composing multiple pieces of fan fiction, I never really understood. And her stories were so awful. "Ian slayed the dragon and then walked through the desert for 20 days and then stopped in a quiet town and then ate a giant boar leg and then played a guitar solo." I just had to sit there and listen to that shit.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Kim: Girl I knew throughout high school. Relatively normal girl except she had an extreme phobia surrounding anybody or anything touching her collarbone. Shoulders, back, all good. The minute something came into contact with the collarbone she fucking flipped her lid.

[Maztinho 0]

Alicia: Note, it's pronounced A-lee-see-a. Any other possible way of saying it was considered unforgivable and she'd lecture you for twenty minutes about how simple her name is. She was an annoying tag along to my group of high school friends. I never considered her one of the "group" since she was inevitably and glaringly the odd-woman out most of the time. She played bass clarinet in band, but she aspired to becoming a film actress, eventhough she couldn't land parts in any of the school plays.

 

In three years of high school she didn't make the cut for any of the 16 productions put on by my high school. Not even as a chorus member. I got tossed in the chorus a couple times cause I wanted to hang out with my girlfriend who was into theater as well.

 

Alicia would often spout off about how horrible men where, then fall heads over heels for whatever dreamboat random upperclassman made eye contact with her.

 

Once she got it in her mind she'd ask the lead saxophonist Tom out for the Sweetheart's Dance which was girls choice. I tried to tell her she'd get shot down, and she was like, "Tom's not like that, I'm sure he'll go out with me." Honestly Tom was kinda nice about it, he gave her the cookies she'd given him back and turned her down face to face. For a month anytime anyone mentioned Tom she'd rant until someone stopped her about what an asshole he was.

 

This exact situation occured at least 4 times that I remember. Her falling in love with someone, getting rejected, and her hating all men.

 

She happened to go to the same university I did and since I was a music major and she was a theater major at a smaller school we occasionally had joint major meetings. She stood up once and started ranting about how she wanted to be an actor but was forced to take all these technical stagemanagerial classes and make up and shit, after about 30 minutes of her ranting, I just yelled, "Shut up and sit down Alicia." The dean of the Theater department thanked me afterwards.

[TheDevilAndGodAreRagingInsideMe 0]

At my college there was this girl simply known as "The Pink Girl." I think her name was Christine, or Christina. Anyway, she wore pink everyday. Everything she had was pink. (Shoes, jacket, rolling-luggage backpack...hell, her eye makeup) She was a nursing major (I used to pass her along the way to/from the main health class building) and was the only one who had pink scrubs when all the rest of them wore blue. Also, always at her side around campus was...her mom! Yes, her mother went everywhere with her. I had even heard that she used to sleep in her bed with her from a girl who used to be TPG's roommate. Supposedly her story was that when she was little, her father died and the last thing that she remembered him telling her was that she looked beautiful in pink. So there you go.

[At Home 0]

I just cleaned out my email inbox and found this, from a girl who had a crush on me when I was a freshman.

 

Take me away

To your favorite place.

Hold my hand,

Run away with me!

 

Atop a cliff, kiss me.

Make a wish,

Drop a penny to the bottom,

Watch the birds fly away.

 

Whisper me a secret,

Tell me your middle name.

I'll admit I'm afraid of the dark,

Unless it's dark with you..

 

Tell me a joke, make me laugh.

I'll look into your eyes, your hypnotizing eyes.

You'll smile, I'll laugh, We'll kiss.

 

Around you, my heart beats 3x faster.

Sometimes, I have to catch my breath.

You tend to leave me speechless,

And always begging for more.

 

Lets travel to Europe together.

Make love in Italy,

Make out in Paris,

Eat great food, drink fine wine.

 

Lay next to me on the beach.

Watch the sun go down.

Count all the shooting stars at night.

Maybe, I'll show you my rack..

 

This poem.. sucks.

But I hope you've enjoyed it.

With 1000 Kisses; I hope this, not trite.

I fare thee well, and Bid thee Goodnight

 

 

 

With all my Heart,

Your secret admirer.. ; )

 

 

 

 

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

 

[Mike wanna be 0]

Man, fuck secret admirers. I had one tape a note to my locker the day before winter break my junior year of high school, and I ignored the note until I got hungry enough to eat the candy cane she'd taped to it and took it down just to get the cane. Never heard a word out of her beyond that, but it served her right for drawing hearts on the back in crayon.

 

So there's my weird girl story. One of them liked me and I judged her based on her choice in art medium.

[Star Ocean 3 0]

Alicia: Note, it's pronounced A-lee-see-a. Any other possible way of saying it was considered unforgivable and she'd lecture you for twenty minutes about how simple her name is. She was an annoying tag along to my group of high school friends. I never considered her one of the "group" since she was inevitably and glaringly the odd-woman out most of the time. She played bass clarinet in band, but she aspired to becoming a film actress, eventhough she couldn't land parts in any of the school plays.

 

In three years of high school she didn't make the cut for any of the 16 productions put on by my high school. Not even as a chorus member. I got tossed in the chorus a couple times cause I wanted to hang out with my girlfriend who was into theater as well.

 

Alicia would often spout off about how horrible men where, then fall heads over heels for whatever dreamboat random upperclassman made eye contact with her.

 

Once she got it in her mind she'd ask the lead saxophonist Tom out for the Sweetheart's Dance which was girls choice. I tried to tell her she'd get shot down, and she was like, "Tom's not like that, I'm sure he'll go out with me." Honestly Tom was kinda nice about it, he gave her the cookies she'd given him back and turned her down face to face. For a month anytime anyone mentioned Tom she'd rant until someone stopped her about what an asshole he was.

 

This exact situation occured at least 4 times that I remember. Her falling in love with someone, getting rejected, and her hating all men.

 

She happened to go to the same university I did and since I was a music major and she was a theater major at a smaller school we occasionally had joint major meetings. She stood up once and started ranting about how she wanted to be an actor but was forced to take all these technical stagemanagerial classes and make up and shit, after about 30 minutes of her ranting, I just yelled, "Shut up and sit down Alicia." The dean of the Theater department thanked me afterwards.

 

Sounds normal to me.

 

[At Home 0]

Man, fuck secret admirers. I had one tape a note to my locker the day before winter break my junior year of high school, and I ignored the note until I got hungry enough to eat the candy cane she'd taped to it and took it down just to get the cane. Never heard a word out of her beyond that, but it served her right for drawing hearts on the back in crayon.

 

So there's my weird girl story. One of them liked me and I judged her based on her choice in art medium.

 

She emailed me. Wasn't all that difficult to guess.

[MFer 0]

I just cleaned out my email inbox and found this, from a girl who had a crush on me when I was a freshman.

 

Take me away

To your favorite place.

Hold my hand,

Run away with me!

 

Atop a cliff, kiss me.

Make a wish,

Drop a penny to the bottom,

Watch the birds fly away.

 

Whisper me a secret,

Tell me your middle name.

I'll admit I'm afraid of the dark,

Unless it's dark with you..

 

Tell me a joke, make me laugh.

I'll look into your eyes, your hypnotizing eyes.

You'll smile, I'll laugh, We'll kiss.

 

Around you, my heart beats 3x faster.

Sometimes, I have to catch my breath.

You tend to leave me speechless,

And always begging for more.

 

Lets travel to Europe together.

Make love in Italy,

Make out in Paris,

Eat great food, drink fine wine.

 

Lay next to me on the beach.

Watch the sun go down.

Count all the shooting stars at night.

Maybe, I'll show you my rack..

 

This poem.. sucks.

But I hope you've enjoyed it.

With 1000 Kisses; I hope this, not trite.

I fare thee well, and Bid thee Goodnight

 

 

 

With all my Heart,

Your secret admirer.. ; )

 

 

 

 

 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Pretty sweet that Natasha Bedingfield had a crush on you.

[FroGG_NeaL 0]

"Maybe, I'll show you my rack" is romantic as hell.

[Maztinho 0]

Alicia: Note, it's pronounced A-lee-see-a. Any other possible way of saying it was considered unforgivable and she'd lecture you for twenty minutes about how simple her name is. She was an annoying tag along to my group of high school friends. I never considered her one of the "group" since she was inevitably and glaringly the odd-woman out most of the time. She played bass clarinet in band, but she aspired to becoming a film actress, eventhough she couldn't land parts in any of the school plays.

 

In three years of high school she didn't make the cut for any of the 16 productions put on by my high school. Not even as a chorus member. I got tossed in the chorus a couple times cause I wanted to hang out with my girlfriend who was into theater as well.

 

Alicia would often spout off about how horrible men where, then fall heads over heels for whatever dreamboat random upperclassman made eye contact with her.

 

Once she got it in her mind she'd ask the lead saxophonist Tom out for the Sweetheart's Dance which was girls choice. I tried to tell her she'd get shot down, and she was like, "Tom's not like that, I'm sure he'll go out with me." Honestly Tom was kinda nice about it, he gave her the cookies she'd given him back and turned her down face to face. For a month anytime anyone mentioned Tom she'd rant until someone stopped her about what an asshole he was.

 

This exact situation occured at least 4 times that I remember. Her falling in love with someone, getting rejected, and her hating all men.

 

She happened to go to the same university I did and since I was a music major and she was a theater major at a smaller school we occasionally had joint major meetings. She stood up once and started ranting about how she wanted to be an actor but was forced to take all these technical stagemanagerial classes and make up and shit, after about 30 minutes of her ranting, I just yelled, "Shut up and sit down Alicia." The dean of the Theater department thanked me afterwards.

 

Sounds normal to me.

 

Yeah, it was all the little things she did though. Like she was kinda chunky, but not in the "might be cute if she dropped a couple pounds" she carried her weight horribly. And she was always sweating. Like all the time, she was a hug-greeter too. So you'd be talking to someone and then BAM! Sweaty tit hug from behind.

 

Also once she wanted me to take her someplace so she jumped on the hood of my car while I was trying to pull out of the parking lot and wouldn't get off until I did.

 

I guess she did normal high school girl behavior, but she annoyed everyone I knew of that knew her so it wasn't just me.