100 Posts of Solitude

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Allyssa Hall.

 

It wasn't a complete lie. I've shared accounts with Czech here before, just not his main one.

Well then, I retract my apology to Czech and apologize to you.

 

Why would I hate it? I enjoy looking at attractive women. Ms. Bloodgood is quality. I will see her soon in the Terminator film.

 

You probably want me to hate on "Bikini Girl". I hear she bought herself a chest to show off for the 2-hour filler finale.

Partially because of Bikini Girl, yes. She's awesome. I don't mean genuine hate—just that it's nonsensical like ESPN's Who's Now.

 

I was introduced to Ms. Bloodgood in the unappreciated NBC TV series Journeyman. I liked that show a lot while it lasted.

 

I think that Mr. Bale's tirade is probably more entertaining than Terminator Salvation. I didn't see it, though.

 

Futurology is a large reason why the common man is stuck paying for stupid bullshit like "man-made global warming".

1. My understanding is that climatologists are the scientists who determine whether and by what means climate change occurs. Futurologists incorporate scientific information into their predictions (e.g., population and culture moving away from New Orleans and South Florida). They really aren't partisan. They offer a fascinating look into what life might be like soon.

2. I believe that politicians and government agencies are responsible for taxation and its enforcement. 10 years ago, would you have called counter-terrorism "stupid bullshit" if 97% of the CIA agreed that a major terrorist attack on America was extremely likely? I am of the opinion that we should attempt to secure the United States from the irreversible loss of 50,000 square miles of land.

3. "The overwhelming majority of climate researchers have reached the understanding--based on decades of evidence, modeling and debate--that it is extremely likely that human activities are responsible for rising temperatures on Earth."^[1][2][3]

 

84. TSM Memories.

 

1. Princess Leena.

 

I tried to explain to Gary Floyd that Leena and I are friends—in part—because we complement each other very well. Look at the above example. Leena and I do not agree on climate change, but we do not get into the usual angry, divisive silliness. We challenge each other to express our views well. We respect the other person's intellect. Sometimes, we can even admit that the other person was correct. We can count on each other to be willing to discuss the things that we want to discuss. We have many similar interests. She is (usually) kind and understanding toward me. When TSM becomes a mere faded memory to me, she will likely still be my friend.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Oh hey Xavier, this is what I really look like:

 

[TheFranchise 0]

I knew it.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I understand that straight males are not the only ones who watch porn. However, I do not think that one porn film should try to satisfy both straight males and bisexual females. Make films for straight males that do not show the male actors, and also make films for bisexual females that show both the male and female actors.

 

When I watch POV, I don't really care how fake or awkward it seems. I care about whether the girl is attractive and that she simulates blowing or fucking me. I want at least 30 continuous seconds of a shot of the girl's face/tits/vagina, because I don't want the director to switch to a shot of the guy's balls while I'm ejaculating.

 

I really like Allyssa Hall. She'd be in the tournament fo' sho.

 

I understand that wristwatches have a role in fashion, but they have little practical use nowadays. Sales will continue to plummet and watchmakers will stop making them.

 

Regarding cable, we're simply moving in the general direction where people get whatever specific things they want, whenever they want them.

 

Arcades try to survive with DDR-style interactive games, but Wii and Guitar Hero bring this technology home. Arcades may have a chance if they can stay ahead of home technology. I'd go to an arcade to test out brain-controlled headsets and virtual reality helmets.

 

Gasoline-powered vehicles may still be declining instead of completely dead in 2020. We've been notoriously slow about making changes in transportation, but we'll see major changes in the next 50 years. We'll get electric cars pretty soon, then entirely automated cars, and then finally the much-dreamed-about flying car.

 

Yeah, I don't know how those sports franchises can continue when they lose so much money.

 

Regarding extraterrestrial life, I believe that it will be confirmed. Maybe on Mars, maybe on Europa, maybe on an exoplanet. You're vastly underestimating the consequences of this discovery, especially if we can communicate with them.

 

Girl of the Now:

Demetria Devonne Lovato.

 

85. Now we're in a new 12-part series called 'Last Post.' I'll make a last post for each of the major folders of the forum.

 

Last Wrestling Post

 

For my last wrestling post, I'll rank my five favorite wrestling moves.

 

5.

. Regular moonsaults do not make the list. It's only when Kurt Angle does it that it becomes something greater. His form was flawless.

4.

. It's such a devastating-looking move when done properly.

3.

. Dazzling motion.

2. Fisherman's Suplex. Mr. Perfect was the best at this move. He made it my favorite pinning maneuver. I like it overhead with the arched back and the clasped hands. Amazingly pretty move.

1.

. Wow, when Lesnar pulled this move off correctly, it was phenomenal to see. The Kidman and Bourne versions kind of suck, though.

[Matt Young 0]

You and crazy man Leena leave me out of this stuff.

[Dear Leelee 0]

I have Alyssa's scene from Barely Legal #88. Her body is excellent. Fit and thin, with ample breasts and bottom. The face leaves a little to be desired, but she's quality.

 

Demi is too cute in that pic. I may have been wrong about her potential.

 

I guess Matthew wants us to leave here, and remove 20% of TSM's user base.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Anna Benson.

 

86. This futurology article seems like something that you'd be interested in:

 

Last World (CE) Post: Seven Predictions for the Coming Age of Micronations

Here are a few forecasts for the impacts of island micronations.

 

1. Island countries will begin to emerge within the next 10 years, and they will dramatically shift the face of global politics.

2. New forms of government and unusual political models will begin to emerge, including corporate nation-states, religious states, tax-free zones, single-function countries, cause-related countries, and even rental nation-states, where organizations can “rent a country” for a year or two to test a specific project.

3. Many experimental nation-states will fail, giving rise to a resale market for island countries.

4. Existing nations will buy their own island countries as a way to extend their influence in other parts of the world, creating a subsidiary country to test new systems.

5. “Open enrollment” citizenship may emerge. The concept of creating a virtual citizenry, where citizens do not have to reside in the country they are affiliated with, gains popularity. Open enrollment will cause many new laws to be created to sort out responsibilities between countries and their people.

6. Once the number of new countries created starts to climb, many existing countries will begin asking that a moratorium or limits be placed on the building of new countries.

7. As more and more countries come into being, vying to attract the wealthy and talented, existing countries will be forced to compete to retain their own citizens. A great migration of wealthy families will begin to cause grave concerns among established governments.

I can see a lot of potentially bad ideas for artificial island nations as well: terrorism training, interventionist experiments, pandemic experiments, Lord of the Flies scenarios, eugenic states, Guantánamo clones, and 1984 states. But, there could, of course, be some ideas that turn out to work far better than anyone anticipated (like Wikipedia did). It might be a good opportunity for libertarianism to gain serious momentum.

 

It will probably happen. It's highly profitable, and you can't test some of these ideas in virtual worlds or when you have to answer to another country's laws.

[TheFranchise 0]

Can I pick tomorrows Girl Of The Now?

[TheFranchise 0]

And if not, why not?

[Czech please! 0]

I bet we accidentally approved Ortonsault at the other board already. He's the smartest man in the whole board universe, after all, so how could he have not outwitted us by now?

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Come on Czech, why you gotta be like that? You're one of my favorite posters. I'm not at TRTSM. You can check all the IPs, block every proxy on Earth, purge anyone who hasn't posted, or do whatever, because I was never approved. I attempted to sign up twice in April as Xavier Cromartie and was denied both times.

 

Girl of the Now SPECIAL EDITION: PRESENTED BY THE FRANCHISE.

Taylor Swift.

 

Tell us more about your selection, Mr. Franchise.

 

87. Last Sports Post: 2009 Fantasy Football Sleepers.

 

I haven't thought about the upcoming season too much yet, but here are some guys who could easily outperform their draft positions.

 

QB

1. Kyle Ortonsault (DEN). The Broncos may start as a rushing team, but I think that Josh McDaniels will let Mr. Orton air it out around midseason.

2. Matt Cassel (KC). They should stick with the spread, and they have good WRs with Bowe, Bradley, and Engram.

3. Shaun Hill (SF). Hill was pretty good last season when he got in. Now he has Crabtree and improved young WRs.

4. Jason Campbell (WAS). Campbell should be in 'fuck you all' mode after the trade attempts.

5. Sage Rosenfels (MIN). Talented WRs.

 

RB

1. Cedric Benson (CIN). He's a workhorse and they've upgraded their o-line.

2. Julius Jones (SEA). Solid starter available in the middle rounds.

3. Jerome Harrison (CLE). Should develop a Leon Washington-like role, if not more.

4. LeSean McCoy (PHI). Westbrook is wearing out.

5. Michael Bush (OAK). You have to like a guy who is being described as "swift and fearsome."

 

WR

1. Josh Morgan (SF). #1 guy, sexy pick.

2. Devin Hester (CHI). He should be more developed as a WR and has Mr. Cutler chucking it.

3. Jerricho Cotchery (NYJ). Also the #1 guy now.

4. Domenik Hixon (NYG). Surrounded by rookies and mediocre talents.

5. Ted Ginn, Jr. (MIA). Maybe he'll figure it out.

 

TE

1. Vernon Davis (SF). If he sucks again this season, he'll never be good.

2. Dustin Keller (NYJ). He doesn't block.

3. John Carlson (SEA). Quality rookie season.

4. Brandon Pettigrew (DET). They must have big plans if they used a first-rounder on him...

5. Brent Celek (PHI). You're the man now, dog.

[TheFranchise 0]

Girl of the Now SPECIAL EDITION: PRESENTED BY THE FRANCHISE.

Taylor Swift.

 

Tell us more about your selection, Mr. Franchise.

 

There's nothing in depth about this selection as to why I chose her, but I watched her video for 'Love Story' (Where that photo is from) and I just thought she was the most beautiful girl i'd ever seen.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Taylor Swift is high-class, but I'm oddly apathetic toward some of these pale girls.

 

Girl of the Now:

Sarah Shahi.

 

88. Last Television & Film Post: one-sentence synopses of films that I've seen recently.

 

La Jetée (7/10) is a creative cyberpunk short film that is more artistic than philosophical.

Alien (5/10) is a dull cyberpunk/sci-fi film that is overrated because of the chestburster scene.

The Matrix (10/10) (rewatched) is the best cyberpunk film ever and among the greatest films in history.

Superbad (6/10) is a realistic, not-terrible comedy.

Star Trek (7/10) is a character introduction to a series of films that will be much better than this one.

Tyson (8/10) is a very good Mike Tyson documentary that is more impactful if you don't read his Wikiquote page beforehand.

Doubt (8/10) is a liberal metaphor for how George W. Bush was wrong to invade Iraq.

The Interview (8/10) is an honest look at the conservative justice system.

City of God (9/10) (rewatched) is about how empathy is rarely found in reality.

Futurama: Into the Wild Green Yonder (7/10) is barely memorable except for the fan service at the end.

Hannah Montana: The Movie (4/10) is downright horrible in the first half, slightly better in the second half, and has a mind-numbingly dumb ending.

Futurama: Bender's Game (4/10) is lame spoofing.

Futurama: The Beast with a Billion Backs (9/10) is a highly creative film with philosophy, spirituality, and love.

Futurama: Bender's Big Score (6/10) is well-written (like always) but has a dull plot.

Lord of the Flies (1963) (10/10) (rewatched) is true to the greatness of the novel, unlike the shitty 1990 version.

Slumdog Millionaire (8/10) is "filmmaking neo-colonialism" but difficult not to like.

Man on Wire (2/10) is perhaps the most pretentious piece of shit I've ever seen.

[Dear Leelee 0]

About new island countries:

 

I'm sure there will be financial benefits (I'm far from an economic expert), but I think the writer is incorrect in assuming it will be simple to obtain country status. There's unrecognized areas like Pridnestrovie and Northern Cyprus that fall within those guidelines with a much larger population, area and support. And I'm sure larger nations are well aware of the potential dangers of this.

 

But, I'm all for more vacation areas in the Persian Gulf. Let's keep 'em cheap, though. And less ancient Mohammedan beliefs.

 

I don't understand your synopsis concerning Doubt.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Adriana "I've been creampied" Lima.

 

Those breakaway areas are a different story. With an island country, the current owners of the land (e.g., the UAE) would voluntarily give up their sovereignty over the land so that it's worth much more money. They probably wouldn't care about what the buyers do with the islands as long as the buyers pay handsomely.

 

I don't believe Doubt is truly left to the viewer to fill in the pieces. The creator had a motivation, and he told only the actors who played Father Flynn in the play and film whether Flynn was guilty. I read this interview, and it contains these lines:

“My mother and all we kids read a lot and the family held generous, liberal views.”

So Iraq fired him up; how come, then, he wrote about child abuse and the religious politics of the Sixties? “I wasn’t interested in the church scandals themselves,” he says. “I was looking for a polarising situation, one in which most people would not hesitate to condemn a person, and throwing those assumptions back at them.”

 

89. Last Music Post: Examination of Lyrics.

 

I'm not super-secret enough to post intelligently about music, but I thought I'd give it a try anyway. Let's look at what the 'legit' top-5 songs on iTunes are possibly about.

 

1. Black Eyed Peas - Boom Boom Pow: a future gimmick song about how awesome/desirable the Black Eyed Peas are.

2. Sean Kingston - Fire Burnin': a dance song about a very attractive girl on the dance floor with whom Mr. Kingston wants to have sexual relations.

3.

: a dance song about how attractive girls want to have sexual relations with the wealthy Mr. Pitbull.

4. Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas: a Vegas night is fun but it's the next day that sux!

5. Lady GaGa - Poker Face: Lady GaGa fantasizes about women while having sexual relations men.

 

These songs are enjoyable to listen to, however. I'm not really criticizing them. I just like to hear a more meaningful message as well sometimes, such as in K'naan's songs:

 

1.

: Somalia's fucked up but he's still a proud Somali.

2. K'naan - Dreamer: Somalia's fucked up but they can still live and dream (about being in the NFL Draft).

3. K'naan - ABCs: Somalis learn to survive instead of reading and writing.

4.

: American rappers are a bunch of fake no-talent pussies.

5. K'naan - What's Hardcore?: Somalia is really fucked up.

[TheFranchise 0]

I really do hate Lady Gaga.

 

Her 'Poker Face' song is half-okay, apart from the metallic sounding voice throughout the track.

 

If the song lost the 'pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-poker face' bit, it would get 100 times better.

[Dear Leelee 0]

K'Naan has grown on me since the draft.

 

Black Eyed Peas and Lady GaGa are proof that if something is popular, it is garbage. This is true for all genres. Music, sports, television, politics...

[King Cucaracha 0]

5. Lady GaGa - Poker Face: Lady GaGa fantasizes about women while having sexual relations men.

 

Which'd explain alot. Chiefly her mannish facial features.

 

That video is ass too. The shots where she's laying next to the dalmation look like they belong in an Electric Six video they're so cheesy and stupid.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Jessiqa "With a Q" Pace. Too hot for Monte Carlo.

 

Lady GaGa's blue outfit in that video is hideous.

 

90. Last Video Game Post: TAS Review.

 

I'm going to review a TAS of the greatest NES game ever made: Spiritual Warfare!!

 

Part 1

Spiritual Warfare is a combination of The Legend of Zelda and the Epistle to the Ephesians. The premise of the game is that a young Christian (I believe his name is Big Ol' Smitty) must equip himself with the armor of God and use the Fruit of the Holy Spirit in order to save the eternal souls of those who have been influenced by Satan. It's coherent in Christian terms.

 

Big Ol' Smitty begins his quest by obtaining a fruit that allows him to love from an angel. He travels underground and starts saving some souls, culminating with the salvation of the weird-hide-behind-a-rock boss (Gary Floyd). He quickly acquires the Belt of Truth, which gives him the inner strength to move heavy objects (whereas Link's atheist Power Ring utilizes the power of murdered embryos). The TAS player, tmont, does a good job of consistently getting a boost from enemy damage.

 

Big Ol' Smitty heads downtown. tmont has to collect some spirit points along the way in order to save time later in the game, and so he saves some construction workers and douchy businessmen. This section could be slightly better optimized with a bot. He gets a key and uses the wrath of God against the bald boss who thinks he's in a handyman porn fantasy (Al Keiper). He acquires the Breastplate of Righteousness, completing Ephesians 6:14.

 

Big Ol' Smitty travels through the airport and converts a liberal security guard. He enters the warehouse district, where REAL MEN work... and randomly fire bullets like it's Mogadishu. There's some waiting in this area; tmont probably shouldn't have taken a damage boost elsewhere. Big Ol' Smitty reaches the 'I'm above you' boss (guess who?). When tmont uses the wrath of God at the end, it makes me think this part could be done faster. He obtains the BOOTS OF WALKING.

 

Part 2

Big Ol' Smitty traverses the Slums of Brody and walks over the hot lava. He acquires grapes that allow him not only to love, but to bring peace. He saves a few prison guards who let the prisoners rape each other and enters the cell block. tmont picks up 3 vials of God's wrath here, and it was unnecessary to do so. In the next room, we see a major glitch exploitation in the TAS. The dynamite should have killed Big Ol' Smitty, but tmont uses prayer on the exact right frame so that Big Ol' Smitty survives with half a heart and enters the Demon's Lair.

 

The biggest problem in this game is that it uses the same music all the time, even in the Demon's Lair. Even the woefully incomplete Super Pitfall changed the music in the Dark World. It kills the mood. Appreciate good video game music when you hear it. Chrono Cross, for example, is greatly improved by its calming music.

 

Big Ol' Smitty makes a long trek through the Demon's Lair, which is quite visually impressive with its lava and pillars. I should try editing in better audio and see how much it improves this part of the game. Finally, Big Ol' Smitty reaches Satan himself (or herself, according to 99% of TSM). Satan is unlike anything else in the game. It's a shock when you see this big, red, wild beast with an evil laugh, protected by a lava river and stone shield. I think that tmont could have completed this battle a bit faster. Eventually, the presence of God triumphs, just like in real life. God bless you all.

 

For entertainment, I give this TAS a 7.2. That score isn't very good when you consider that I think that The Legend of Zelda TASes are worthy of scores between 9.5 and 10. The Legend of Zelda isn't much longer, but it has many more dungeons, more items, more secrets, and more tricks. Spiritual Warfare has a lot of walking and one dungeon. As mentioned before, the audio is a big problem. Satan may be more impressive than that invisible fat pig Ganon, though.

 

For technical skill, I give this TAS a 7.9. Some other TASers would consider that score generous. I base my technical ratings on how obvious the mistakes look and the amount of time that could be shaved off. I don't think there's a whole lot of time that could be saved unless some items can be skipped. But, never underestimate the creativity of TASers. ###

 

No post tomorrow. Big party in Minneapolis.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Ashley Tisdale-Cromartie.

 

91. Last Technology Post: Chemicals React.

 

So, Google Wave is on the way, essentially combining e-mail and Facebook. Sounds like a success.

 

My idea for this post is, first, to list a bunch of Internet "chemicals" that could potentially "react" in an interesting way when combined with something else. Then I'll try to come up with a few interesting combinations from the list that haven't been done yet as far as I know. (For example, "Tweeting Too Hard" is Twitter + Digg.)

 

CHEMICALS:

Twitter, wiki, YouTube, maps, news/blogs, literature, Facebook, e-mail, search, commerce, Flickr, porn, dating, music, Digg, games, torrents, forums, reviews, comments, cell phones, podcasts, Skype, computation (WolframAlpha).

 

REACTIONS:

1. News/blogs + comments + Facebook. One of the features of Google Wave is that you can reply to each particular section of the e-mail instead of replying at the end of the e-mail or manually breaking up and inserting your comments into the e-mail. It's more like a conversation instead of a Lincoln-Douglas debate. When reading news/blogs/forums, it would be good to have this option. Maybe people would write more carefully if they expected more direct responses to each point instead of the totality of the article. Of course, commenters may totally miss the point of the article when focusing on the minutiae.

 

2. Wiki + Flickr. It's sort of like Google Street View, but it would be expanded to pictures of the whole world and include some information about what exactly I'm looking at. For example, imagine I want to see what Eyl, Somalia looks like. Not just the view from a road, but an organized index of every part of the city, with descriptions.

 

3. YouTube + wiki. Not the same as wiki + YouTube, which would be the same as #2 but with videos. In this case, I mean that YouTube could be more of a collaborative effort like a Hollywood film. People on YouTube have a variety of talents (acting, music, etc.)... get them all together and produce a great video.

 

4. Commerce + computation. It would be great if I could simply type in, "What's the cheapest way to purchase [item] online?" It's a step up from the current Google Product Search.

 

5. Dating + comments. Anyone you've dated would comment on/rate how you are as a partner. I'd expect a lot of negativity. (My profile would be all positive, though.)

 

6. Twitter + Flickr. Instead of asking what you're doing, it asks where you are.

 

7. Literature + comments. Not comments from Internet dipshits... I mean that when we're all reading our e-books, it would be nice to have interesting annotations. Basically I'm talking about merging SparkNotes into e-books. (But you could read the e-book without reading the notes if you didn't want to, of course.)

 

8. Forums + Skype + podcasting. A lot of people don't type well. It could be easier for them to speak a reply. The audio clip would have an automatic text transcription.

 

That's enough from me. I'm sure that there are many more interesting combos, though!

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Big Ol' Smitty traverses the Slums of Brody

 

Gah?

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Kristinia DeBarge.

 

92. Last Food Post: Sashimi.

 

Nutrition is secretly the topic into which I could go into the deepest pedantic scientific details. But, no one wants to hear that stuff. You're happier not knowing how horrible everything that you're eating is.

 

Instead, I will tell you about one of my dreams. My girlfriend-of-the-now and I will take a vacation out to California. We'll spend an afternoon relaxing at the pier with some fishing. At some point, I will get a fish on the line. It will be an exciting fight, but I'll reel it in. It will be a mackerel (no other fish is acceptable). Rather than release it, I will immediately slice off its head and tail. Then, as the saying goes, "Knife goes in, guts come out." I will check the flesh for anything unusual. And then I will devour it raw. It will be the most delicious fish I will eat in my life.

 

[Masked Heel 0]

Girl of the day= win

dreaming about california fishing/sushi eating= fail

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

lol.

 

Girl of the Now:

May J.

 

93. Last Literature Post: Keitai Shosetsu.

 

I read an article on salon.com about "keitai shosetsu, the so-called cellphone novel." Basically, Japanese teen girls enjoy reading very short "novels" on their cell phones.

 

Most of the auteurs of keitai shosetsu are Japan's vast demographic of girls and 20-something young women, who thumb out ultra-lurid, mawkish teen romances on their cellphone keypads in scraps of manga-like dialogue, skimpy action, texting slang and emoji (emoticons).

Sounds like my kind of thing! I'll review the three sample "novels" that the author (Barry Yourgrau) provided for the article.

 

Meant for Each Other

 

You make a date through the Internet. You meet the girl for the first time at a sake bar. She gulps down a whole bottle of sake by herself. "Okay," you think. "I guess we know what sort of problem she has. But man, is she cute."

 

After two more bottles, the girl falls asleep on her bar stool. "That's our sweetheart," grins the bartender, shaking his head at the girl's snores.

 

"You mean you know her?" you inquire, uneasily.

 

"Sure, she's here every night, with a different guy," says the bartender. "Whoopee, whoopee." He winks.

 

"Really," you reply. You eye the unconscious girl slumped headfirst on the bar counter. And you decide no matter how cute she is, this first date will also be the last, thank you very much.

 

And this is how you two meet, you and the love of your life. Four months later you get married and move into a lovely apartment together, where you start to raise a large and happy family.

 

How you get from point A to point B is a long, complicated, heart-warming, and in many ways wonderfully unbelievable story. But alas it requires someone with far greater narrative powers than mine to properly relate.

My first reaction is "what the fuck." Afterward, however, I looked at the positive message of the story. Maybe it's worth keeping an open mind if you had a horrible first impression of someone. I also could see this story as a harshly honest commentary of typical boys. The girl may be a total trainwreck, but the guy will do anything for her because she's attractive. Married after four months? Dude. I give this story a 7/10.

 

Edgar Allan Poe Rice Ball (Medieval Landscape)

 

Disease strikes a distant town. The victims develop loathsome sores all over their bodies; at the same time they're maddened by extreme lascivious impulses. Down street after street door after door is splashed with a crude red cross: inside, the lunatic disfigured coupling rages on nonstop -- men, women, even children -- until exhausted dawn, until death.

 

In the hills beyond town, a monk makes his way along a darkening road. He chews a stale rice ball for his supper as he goes, so as not to interrupt his march. His sandaled feet move one in front of the other inexorably. His staff leaves a trail of dots behind him in the dusty distances. At last he comes around the side of a hill and he stops. The prospect of the dim town spreads before him. A look of disturbance moves over his face, as he slowly chews the last of his rice ball. Even here the uneasy wind carries the grisly minglings of lamentation and carnal grunting. The monk becomes watchful; he looks uneasily around him and grips his staff in both hands. Two figures are moving feverishly in the darkness ahead. They seem to prance toward him, half-naked, hideous, moaning hoarse endearments. The monk calls to his god as he raises his staff and prepares to meet them.

Again, my first reaction is "what the fuck." But, then I think about the story metaphorically. The monk is transitioning from the known to the unknown. We deal with these situations throughout our lives, such as the first day of school or work or when moving to a different place. The key is when the rice ball—the last of the "known"—is gone. The monk must make a choice. It's scary, but he bravely goes ahead into the unknown. You have to face reality and do what's best, even though it may be emotionally difficult. 8/10.

 

Woolly

 

A man goes for a swim in a creek. When he gets out of the water, he sees a sheep standing on the bank, watching him. The man looks at the sheep. The sheep looks at the man. Slyly, the man smiles. He checks up and down the creek. There's no one in sight. The man steps toward the white, woolly mammal. "Here sheepy, here woolly," he says softly. The sheep backs up slowly into the bushes, looking confused by the state the man's in. But the sheep is only faking.

 

Later, the man dresses by the creek. The sheep lolls next to him, watching him, warm-eyed. The man combs his hair and says, looking down the creek in the direction of his off-road vehicle, "So that was a lot of fun. Maybe I'll be back up this way sometime. I'll get in touch." He puts his comb back in his pocket and gives the sheep a quick pat. He gets to his feet. "Okay?" he says, dusting off his pants.

 

The sheep lies perfectly still and watches the man picking his way awkwardly down the creek into the distance. "Yeah sure, bud, I believe you," it thinks.

At first, I thought this story was going to be about sheep rape (instead of consensual sheep sex). You can't look at this story as just a guy talking to a sheep that understands him. It's about people. People always say stuff like what the guy says without really meaning it. Was it really a lot of fun? Maybe it was somewhat fun. Will he be back sometime? Questionable, at best. Will he really be in touch? Unlikely. To how many people did you say that you were going to keep in touch after high school? How'd that turn out? Even the easily misled "sheep" know that people are just being polite when they say stuff like that. 8/10.

 

＼（＾ ＾）／ d(-_^)good!!

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Anna Friel, co-star of the upcoming piece-of-shit Land of the Lost.

 

94. Last No Holds Barred Post: Re: TSM posters who look like things.

 

Continuation/spin-off of the poorly titled thread "TSM posters who look like things." I haven't seen a picture of the following posters, and so the following pictures represent what I think they look like.

 

Czech Republic:

 

Crimson G:

 

Cheech Tremendous:

 

Sensei John Kreese:

 

Gary Floyd:

 

909:

[Dear Leelee 0]

Reviews are saying Land of the Lost is probably the worst movie of the year. Therefore, I can't wait to watch it.

 

Half the pics aren't showing.

 

Czech must be some very nerdy looking jazz band art fag, with huge thighs.

 

Cheech must look like Michael Schur. Or, since he's from around Seattle, one of the other zipperhead writers from FJM.

 

909 posted his pic a few times. He's fug.

[BUTT 0]

Sensei John Kreese:

 

Ha.

[Jingus 0]

Alien (5/10) is a dull cyberpunk/sci-fi film that is overrated because of the chestburster scene.

Aw, fuck you. I haven't felt strongly enough about much else you've posted recently to bother replying, but I will fite U poser over this motherfucking cinematic masterpiece. Almost as good as its sequel Aliens. Almost.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Dead porn star Tiffani DiGivanni. This post is dedicated to her memory, because she was totally hot.

 

Reviews are saying Land of the Lost is probably the worst movie of the year. Therefore, I can't wait to watch it.

I need to watch a bad film soon in order to maintain proper perspective of how good the good ones are.

 

Half the pics aren't showing.

 

Czech must be some very nerdy looking jazz band art fag, with huge thighs.

 

Cheech must look like Michael Schur. Or, since he's from around Seattle, one of the other zipperhead writers from FJM.

 

909 posted his pic a few times. He's fug.

They're on TinyPic and work for me. I did initially search for a male model with huge thighs, but I think Mr. Podolski is more suitable. I remember now that 909 was the guy carrying the groceries.

 

Aw, fuck you. I haven't felt strongly enough about much else you've posted recently to bother replying, but I will fite U poser over this motherfucking cinematic masterpiece. Almost as good as its sequel Aliens. Almost.

I am generally a fan of sci-fi and especially cyberpunk, and so I wanted to enjoy this film. I usually don't like horror films, though, because I find them pointless. Why is this film a masterpiece? Is it the phalli? The beginning is terribly dull. Then people are murdered one-by-one. A masterpiece should change the way I view life.

 

95. Last Love, Sex, & Dating Post: Porn.

 

This folder is Leelee's specialty, and so I let her choose the topic of discussion. And the topic is:

A long post concerning pornography.

 

I can try, but I already made my main points about porn in post 69. I've already established that my favorite current porn stars are Sunny Leone, Allyssa Hall, and Raven Riley. I would creampie all three and hope that all three got pregnant. And I've established that I'm not interested in any atypical sexual acts.

 

It has been a while since I last downloaded porn to my hard drive. It's archaic. I've never used torrents for porn. I use XVideos most of the time now. I'm aware of the other flash sites, but I don't like them as much. I check out a few of the others in addition to using Bing/Google video search when I'm looking for more of a particular girl.

 

Things that I like in porn: POV, lingerie/bikinis, poolside sex, deep internal creampies, deepthroats, schoolgirls, office sluts, public sex, nuns, college/dorm sex. Things that I don't like in porn: any paraphilias, whenever the camera isn't on the girl, fat people, eating pussy (boring), solo stuff (boring), "alt porn", groups.

 

I've read on this forum that black penises ruin the scene for some of the non-black males here. I don't agree with such nonsense. Your penis isn't black, but it isn't nine inches either. I don't see how it impacts enjoyment of the girl. I've also heard Leelee's lack of interest in sexual relations with a "dark" black male. Why does the color matter? I'd fuck the green chick in Star Trek. There are plenty of wankable black porn stars (e.g., Candice Von, Lori Alexia, Audrey James, Lacey Duvalle). Somali babes are hotties. I remember watching a Miami Hurricanes game with Jacory Harris at QB, and I thought to myself that he looked like me (because he's skinny).

 

I'm nostalgic for some of the more gorgeous porn stars of the recent past. Tia Bella, Stacy Valentine, Kira Kener, Kiki Daire, Anita Blond, Alexa Rae, and Taylor Hayes were high-quality ladies. Nowadays I see a lot of chicks with huge tits and nice bodies but average faces.

 

It's simultaneously surprising and not surprising that porn is still extraordinarily profitable. Pre-Internet, of course it was. You had to discreetly buy magazines and videos. Now you can find basically anything you want online for free, if you know what you're doing—I assume that most people don't. I also know how impulsive, emotional, and pathetic men can be. I saw it at that party last Saturday. (It was a fun party overall, though.)

 

That's all that I have for now. You may add any related points that you wish to discuss.

[Jingus 0]

I am generally a fan of sci-fi and especially cyberpunk, and so I wanted to enjoy this film. I usually don't like horror films, though, because I find them pointless. Why is this film a masterpiece? Is it the phalli? The beginning is terribly dull. Then people are murdered one-by-one. A masterpiece should change the way I view life.

Why do you find horror movies pointless? If you don't like them, you won't like Alien, because its single primary goal is to scare the audience shitless. I think it's one of the more tense and claustrophobic things I've ever seen, one of the few films that have legitimately scared me. Plus, bonus points for being the rare sci-fi movie which even attempts to flirt with realism, instead of the usual Star Wars/Star Trek shiny silver spaceships and aliens and lasers and shit.