The One & Only SmartMarks Battle Royal Thread

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(hurls the gnome off of himself against a wall, and the gnome breaks into a thousand pieces. BUT! each gnome fragment turns into a little gnome!!! Kotzenjunge pulls out a blowtorch and sizzles the little fuckers, then goes after CWM)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

::CWM pulls out a dozen gnomes and they all attack Kotz...plus they ones Kotz sizzeled reform and go back on the offensive.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

*calls the action from ringside*

 

By gawd those gnomes are hosses!!! Just look at em come back to life!

[Guest CED Ordonez]

*runs like hell from the gnomes and takes an announce table bump instead, hoping LPYC will scream, 'Bah gawd, CED is broken in half!'"*

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

By gawd CED is broken in fourths! Oh whatta slobberknocker!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(hangs on a chandelier above the gnome army)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

Folks I've seen it all. In my 50+ years in the business I have never seen a man hang from a chandelier. I can hang up my Black Resistol Hat and retire a happy man now by gawd!

[Guest CED Ordonez]

*blindfolds himself and attempts to pinata attack Kotz with the Long Wooden Stick of "NO POBO!"-NESS-NESS~!

[Guest Thunderkid]

::does something very painful to everyone in the thread::

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

::Begins EATING the gnomes::

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Provides various sauces to AoO and tells him to keep up the good work::

[Guest T®ITEC]

(*The Rock, now dressing as Jerry Lawler*)

 

PUPPIES! LOOK AT THE PUPPIES ON THAT GNOME, JR !!! WOW! THEY'RE BIGGER THAN THE ONES ON MY LAST GIRLFRIEND, EVEN !!!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(chills in BLACK MANTA~! after the gnomes are taken care of, puts the top up, the seat back, and listens to KYLIE~!)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest T®ITEC]

(*Slashes Kotz's tires for giving me the NO POBO~!!! treatment, as he [rightfully] ignored my dumb post*)

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(says "oh FUCK NO!!" because you DON'T FUCK WITH BLACK MANTA~!, and promptly powerbombs TRITEC off of the parking garage in which the car was sitting. He then pushes a button on the dashboard and the tires repair themselves)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kingpk]

*Sneaks a copy of Barenaked into Kotz's CD player while he's distracted and hides in the bushes.*

[Guest T®ITEC]

(*Points out PK's actions as The Rock bleeds internally*)

 

If The Rock is to die, The Rock doesn't want to die dressed as Lawler! HELP THE ROCK!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(gets back into BLACK MANTA~! and says "what the hell is this?" After getting into it a little bit, the sheer unremarkability of it gets to him, and he grabs THE TECHNO~!, popping in Club Nation America and making the parking garage tremble with the extreme bass and coolness of it)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest T®ITEC]

(*Raven© spasms*)

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

::out of nowhere comes BAH GAWD MIKE VAN SICLEN, who runs to a door::

 

*knock knock!*

 

::an old guy opens the door::

 

Guy: No, I don't want any of your Girl Scout Cookies.

 

Mike: Die.

 

::VAN SLAMINATOR~! on the old guy. Mike leaves, leaning on a car and basically going back to contributing nothing to the boards::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(kicks MVS off of BLACK MANTA~!, because only SPOON can lean on BLACK MANTA~!)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

::fine. Leans on SIlVEr MAnTA~! because it's cooler than BLACK MANTA~!::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(doesn't care about the loser car that MVS is leaning on, and hurls an open bucket of paint at its hood from the safety of BLACK MANTA~!, which, with its(future) TURBOCHARGED ENGINE, can rocket away at speeds UP TO AND INCLUDING 200 (kph) if it ever gets into trouble!!!!!!!!)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Chuck Woolery]

::decides he hates cars and buys a bicycle.::

 

Mike: Save the tr33s!

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(runs down MVS and his bicycle, because he has no other targets right now)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Comes in and assists Kotz in disposing of MVS.::

[Guest T®ITEC]

(*The Rock continues to die*)

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(welcomes Zack Malibu into BLACK MANTA~!, since Zack appreciates the car styles of the 80s and early 90s, surely. They blast That Club Mix and run over The Rock, finally killing him)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(after events in the WWE folder, kicks Zack out of BLACK MANTA~! and sits CC in his place. They listen to No Doubt and wait for Anglesault to show up)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

::AS drives in the AnglesaultOffRoad Vehicle (Formerly the aWoffroad Vehicle) and runs Kotzen over.::