The One & Only SmartMarks Battle Royal Thread

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Laz breaks Li'l Bow Wow's neck with a Ganso Bomb off of the apron otno the shards of broken lightbulbs on the rignside mat. Laz then grabs Bear and tosses him over the top rope, dropkicking him through the ropes to ensure that both of Bear's feet touch the floor.**

 

Laz: TOSS MY SALAD, HO~!~

 

**Corey turns to Sandman, smiles, and then kicks him 4 times extremely hard (we're talking field goals here) in the groin, knowing full-well that there is no cup.**

[Guest Sandman9000]

::However, Corey is unable to get any velocity on the kicks, since, well, he just can't. Seven lightbulbs to the head of Corey and another one is down. STILL plently to glass to go around::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Corey wobbles on the ground, and then trips Sandman down face-first into bits of broken glass, applying the modified bow & arrow stretch that Dan Severn tore D'Lo Brown's abdominal muscles with**

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman counters the bow and arrow into a camel clutch, which allows Sandman to carve open Corey's face with the broken glass::

[Guest The Superstar]

::Superstar walks behind Sandman and taps him on the shoulder.::

 

"This ain't the OAOAST, so we can do whatever the hell we want"

 

::Superstar nails Sandman 5 times with the (borrowed) aWoSLEDGE~ in the head, and gives him the *STAR POWER II* on the shards of broken glass lying around. He writes "In Crowd 4 Real" on Sandman's head and walks away, admiring his new sig::

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman sidesteps the aWo sledge, which is too heavy for SuperShit to lift. Sandman takes SS down with a Yakuza Kick, then breaks 25 lightbulbs over SuperShit's back, one by one by bloody one. Sandman finishes the beating off by grabbing his staple gun and stapling an OAOAST promo flyer for Beach Blast, July 14, to the back of SuperShit's head::

[Guest alfdogg]

::AD appears out of nowhere and NAILS Supershit with a lead pipe::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Laz gets up, removes the pieces of glass stuck in his forehead, and then runs to the back, smiling. Laz emerges with a steel chair with some devices taped to one end with electrical tape, and then runs back down to ringside. Laz taps Sandman on his shoulder, and Sandman turns around.**

 

Sandman: What the fu...?!

 

**Laz smashes the chair over Sandman's head, and small explosions go off from the devices. Yes, the devices taped to the steel chair carried by Laz were explosives.**

[Guest alfdogg]

::CL charges at Alfdogg, but Alfdogg lays down, causing CL to trip and tear his quad::

[Guest NaturalBornThriller4:20]

::NaturalBornThriller-sees-CL-in-pain.Instead-of-helping

him,NaturalBornThriller-locks-CL-in-the-Walls-Of-Jericho,

making-CL-scream-in-pain::

[Guest Jerome Drake]

***Gets back up, and Book Ends Naturalbornthriller, and takes a leak on him***

[Guest GenerationNever]

::nails Jerry Drake over the head with a pipe::

 

"Singin' in the rain!"

 

::nails Jerry again while he is on the ground::

 

Just singin' in the rain!"

 

::nails Jerry with the pipe, in the legs area::

 

"What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again;I'm laughin' at clouds so dark up above! "

 

::nails Jerry in the mouth with the pipe several times::

 

"The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love!"

 

GenerationNever smiles as the red, red kroovy begins to ooze out of Jerry's lips. GN smiles when he sees Jerry laying in his own piss and blood.

 

"Let the stormy clouds chase, everyone from the place. Come on with the rain, got a smile on my face. I walk down the lane with a happy refrain.

I'm singin', just singin' in the rain!"

[Guest Jerome Drake]

***Gets up and gives GN his finisher! BIG HUG AND KISS***

[Guest Sandman9000]

::While Jerome is molesting GN, Sandman comes up from behind Jerome and slits his throat with a piece of glass::

[Guest Jerome Drake]

***But Drake ducks, and he gets GN instead! and Drake nails Sandman with the BIG HUG AND KISS**

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman could care less about slicing GN. Instead of doing anything overly fancy, Sandman just punches Jerome in the face, knocking his ass out::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Laz forces himself out of NBT's Lion Tamer, and then locks on a Tazmission. Laz grabs a mic and holds it in the hand that is applying the half-nelson.**

 

Laz: Did you really think I tore my quad? You dumb bitch! TOSS MY SALAD!

 

**Laz drops the mic and Tazmission-Plex's NBT onto the top of his head. CL gets up, and grabs a keyboard from his cart of goodies from earlier, and gives it to NBT.**

 

Laz: THERE!

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman reaches into Corey's bag of goodies, pulls out a golf club with lightbulbs attached to it, and smashes it over Corey's back. Sandman also pulls out a cookie sheet with thumbtacks glued on, and wraps it around Corey's skull::

[Guest caboose]

::Out of Nowhere, Reigning OAOAST World Champion Caboose dropkicks Corey and his Cookie Sheet with Thumbtacks!

Caboose shakes Sandman's hand and leaves::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Laz takes the cookie sheet off of his head, and pulls the thumbtacks out of his face, and then looks at Sandman. Corey smiles, and does a Golf Clap as Sandman bows. Corey then kicks Sandman in the bridge of his nose with so much velocity Sandman does a full backflip and lands face-first onto a spool of barbed wire laid out by Laz earlier in the match. Corey then grabs Sandman, rolls him into the ring, follows him into the ring, and then tosses Sandman over the top rope, pushing him off the apron to ensure that both of Sandman's feet hit the floor.**

[Guest Sandman9000]

::As Corey tosses Sandman into the ring, Sandman grabs three bulbs taped together, which he had brought earlier. As Corey tries to toss Sandman out, Sandman breaks the bulbs over Corey's head. Sandman thinks about tossing Corey out, but decides to keep him around. Sandman grabs a can of gasoline and some matches::

[Guest GenerationNever]

::no-sells since everyone else is doing it, annoyingly::

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Hits GenNev in the back with a lightbulb, and tells him he can sell that if it makes him feel better::

[Guest GenerationNever]

"Damn, you never get used to getting hit in the head with lightbulbs. But, did you mean you'll sell or I'd sell? I'm confused, I'm going to go lie down."

 

::leaves::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Laz superkicks the gasoline tub into Sandman, spilling its contents all over him. Laz then picks up a Zippo lighter, clicks it, and tosses it onto Sandman, who ignites into a large human torch.**

 

Laz: Flamer...

[Guest Sandman9000]

::However, during his last trip backstage, Sandman slipped into a fire-prevention suit, like the ones stuntmen wear. So, while Sandman is burning, the fire is not affecting him. Sandman tackles Corey and burns him horrifically::

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**What Sandman doesn't know is that Corey is a master of hypnotism, and only made Sandman THINK he's on fire...**

 

Laz: HA!

 

**Corey kicks Sandman in the Adam's Apple and rolls under the ropes, escaping through the crowd.**

[Guest alfdogg]

::Alfdogg runs in and gives Laz the BACKSLIDE OF DOOM~!::

[Guest TheBlurricane]

The Blurricane comes running in.......woooosh.......seeing as he's only a Tough Enough contestant he hits a hiptoss on Jerome landing him in the glass....then I yell my tradmark catchphrase......"I'm gonna rip your bitch tits off!!!"

[Guest Shaved Bear]

Bear comes in dressed as a Conquistador and hits the Bear Bottom on Blurricane