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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

How To Vibrate
 

I Love "Ewe"

-Well, things are alright. I got a job volunteering at a computer workplace. Work starts next week.   -Henry Rollins has a new show on the IFC channel. It's pretty damn boring, and mostly just him ranting and interviewing people (He's not a very good interviewer). Personally, I don't know what CheesaaisGood see's in him. Plus, I hear he's a major asshole in reality.   At least his "Letter to Ann Coulter" was amusing, mostly because I hate that fucking bitch.   -Speaking of Ann Coulter, sooner or later, I think people are just going to get tired of her. You can only say so many stupid things before people finally just grow bored with you, and she'll become irrelevent eventually.   -It seems like Carnival and Leena have quit posting. While I really don't miss Leena (she eventually just got boring), I do miss Carnival. He was one of my favorite posters.   Well, that's all for now. Next time: Bad Chuck-E-Cheese memories.  
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

I'm a Fister

Recently on a radio show interview, Anne Coulter attacked liberals, and for some reason, mentioned anal sex and fisting. Well, in honor of that. here's a song just for you folks   I fist the old brown eye and I'm proud I use to feel alone in a crowd But now you look around these days And it seems theres anal fisting CRAZE I'm a fister he's a fister she's a fister we're fister Wouldn't you like to be a fister too? I'm a fisterer he's a fister she's a fister If you aim for the stink wrinkle you're a fister too! Us fisters are an interesting breed A good old stinkhole is all we need Ask any fister and they'll say "only fisting feels that way" I'm a fister he's a fister she's a fister we're a fister wouldn't you like to be a fister too? I'm a fisterer he's a fister she's a fister we're a fister wouldn't you like to be a fister too?
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Foley's Missing Ear

-It seems like Mel Gibson was caught being a drunk jackass. Oh, and he hates the Jews. I would talk about how I'm not suprised, but I'm still waiting for kkktookmybabyaway to make an offensive statement.   -I watched some show called "Little Britain" last night, and to be honest, I still don't see what all the fuss is about. It's funny the first few times, but it loses all that it is when you realize that it's basically the same jokes over and over again. Kind of like the "Astronaut Jones" skits: It was funny at first, but it soon get's repetitive.   -Also, "Moral Orel" isn't too funny either. I know it's a parody of "Davey and Goliath", but it tries so hard to be offensive, that it's just boring instead of funny. Also, the creators seem to have a real ax to grind with religion and their parents, which just adds to the tedium. Just quit trying to shock people, and try to focus on actually being funny.   -Ann Coulter claims that Bill Clinton is gay. I can confirm that this is true. Hey, I was drunk, he's famous, and one thing led to another.   -I really can't wait for "The Descent" to come out on Friday. Out of all the movies this summer, this is the one I'm waiting for the most.   That's all for now.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

See "The Descent" you Motherfuckers

-I saw "The Descent" last Friday night, and all I have to say is this: See it now. Hell, see it twice if you have to. Seriously, this is the best horror movie that you will see this year. It's got some nice gore, realistic characters instead of the normal dumb teens you normally get, and it's intense and scary as hell. Basically, fucking see "The Descent", because it kicks all of your collective asses, and is better than any other horror movie you will see this year. Oh, and I won't quit talking about it until more people have seen it.   -I had no idea Masked Man of Mystery had a blog. He's a decent guy, and while a bit of a geek who takes things a bit too seriously at times, I like him.   -See "The Descent"   -If you've been on Youtube lately, you probably have heard of a weird ass web cartoon called Bart the General, which is what would happen if a Simpsons fan with ADD took MDMA and made a web cartoon. This is possibly the strangest thing you will see this year, and it's already gaining a cult following on the web.   -See "The Descent"   -On Rick James B1tch: Dude, change your name, because that "Chapelles Show" skit stopped being funny the second people started quoting it.   -See "The Descent"   -Brendon Smalls is a genius. His new show "Dethklok Metalocalypse" debuted on Adult swim last night, and it rules. Also, they are showing new episodes of "The Venture Brothers" again, and that show is now the best cartoon on TV.   -See the Descent
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Down In The Park

-Well, it seems like Muslims are angry at the Pope for his recent quoting of an old text condemning Islam. I can understand their anger, and I do think that the Pope owes them a better apology besides a simple half-assed "I'm Sorry." That out of the way, they don't need to go around killing nuns and burning churches. Come on, leave that to the retarded Black Metal fans in Norway. Yeah, that was a rip on Black Metal.   -Bush talked to the UN today. I didn't see it (I was in class), so I have nothing to say about it.   -I miss Trish Stratus already.   -Neighbors upstairs are still making a recket at night. They are about on thin ice with me.   -Marvin left the boards. I never payed too much attention to him, but I guess he was alright.   -Oh, and this entry is named after a Gary Numan Song.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

gary floyd vs. Hugo Chavez, and more

-I have a feeling I probably did better on my test yesterday than I did on Monday. So you don't need to worry about me.   -My neighbors upstairs are making a racket again. I'm telling the CA tomorrow.   -Bill Clinton wentr off on some guy on Fox News. Now, I know kkktookmybabyaway will disagree with me on this, but I don't blame the guy. If I were on Fox News, I would have lost it too.   -Also, Hugo Chavez, who's probably a hero to CheesalaIsGood, called Bush the devil. My thoughts: You know hippies, just because he ripped on Bush does not make him a hero. I rip on Bush, and I'm not a hero because of that. Where's my high-five from Danny Glover? Hell, Jon Stewart seems to hate the guy, so of course, obnoxious Che Guvera shirt wearers turn on him when he does so.   Oh, and Venezuala ain't all that great. Hell, just be glad you can rip on Bush without being arrested here. If you rip on Hugo in Venezuala, you get sent to jail. Yeah, he's a real fucking hero, isn't he you socialist wannabes.   There, I'm done ranting.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Starring Nathan Wind as Cochese

-If you didn't see Pat Buchanan on TV talking about Mark Foley recently, then you missed a hilarious treat. Here, he repeatedly called Foley "That Flamer." Funniest thing I've seen in ages.   -To David Cross: I think you're a funny guy, but 1.) Come on, picking on Jim Belushi and LArry the Cable Guy? Come on, I know they suck, but they're such easy targets. Oh, and 2.) Your mew Comedy central Cartoon "Freak Show" isn't very good.   -JustPassinBy was banned. Here's a guy who was a treasure trove. A guy who unlike guys like Rant, wan't joking when he said he hated black people and gay people. Oh, and he asked "What's wrong with Sean Hannity" without being sarcastic.   -The "Scream Awards", which honered everything geeks love (comics, sci fi, and horror) was on last Tuesday. It was a great idea, but disappointed me in execution. Seems like the "Fangoria Chainsaw Awards" will do the same as well.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Inuyasha aka CronoT aka Cronoyasha is back.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...     ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...   ...Ok, I'm done. Wait a minute...   ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   Now I'm done.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Wedding day blues

No, I'm not getting married. I'm going to a wedding on Saturday though. A cousin of mine is getting married.   Anywho, weddings are a weird thing to me. Sure, you stay around afterwards, talk shit with folks, and eat cake, but it's weird to know that this person's life will never be the same, and neither will they.   Could I get married? I really don't know. I'll admit, staying with the same woman for your whole life doesn't sound that bad. I mean true love only happens once in a lifetime. On the other hand, there's parenthood. I really can't see myself as a father, since it's such a grave responibility. Granted, I'm not irresponsible. It's simply the thought of the fact that you have to take care of this person you brought into the world is somewhat strange to me. Also, what if they fuck up. And I mean really fuck up. You can punish them, but what good does that really do.   I know, I usually don't get this personal or emotional. It's just that this is just that things like this really make you think.   Anyways, I'm sure it will be alright.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

TSM 2006 Year in Review

Title says it all   Best Poster: Kotz. He's a good poster, a YTMND fan, and an all around cool guy.   Worst Poster: wildpegasus and Cronoyasha are almost tied, but I'll give it to the now banned WP. Honerable mention goes to Oblivious Heel. I know he was a PBP, so who was he?   Best Thread: Pictures I Like. It's the only thread I'm actually worth a damn in.   Best Sig: KOAB's "We Don't Dance, We Step!"   It's not Interesting Anymore: Leena.   Best Blog: kkktookbybabyaway. We may not see eye to eye on a lot of things, but damnit, his blog is entertaining.   Best Nice Guy: MaskedManOfMystery. A dork, but harmless, and never does anything to piss me off. In TSM's odd cliqueishness and sometimes too-cool-for-school attitude, his anime nerd stylings and love of wrestling and MMA is something of a breath of fresh air. CronoT, take note: This is how an anime nerd should act.   Represent: 2Gold and NoCalMike, two fellow horror fans.   Thank God They're Banned: wildpegasus, Cronoyasha, Oblvious Heel, JustPassinBy, Hotbutter Spoontoaster   Worst Revelation: Matt Young Likes 'Em Young. Possibly the creepiest thing I've ever read on TSM. Yes, creepier than the thread about wildpegasus's dad and his schlong.   Worst Attitude: JustPassinBy's attitude towards blacks and gays.   The MikeSC Award (Always Thinks He's Right): SuperJerk.   CronoT Award (Bad At Comebacks): EHME.   Underrated Posters: Special Peru, Si82, and Zorin. Zorin's a fellow fan of electronic music and post punk, Si82 keeps the "What are You Listening To" thread alive, and Peru is a fellow David Lynch fan and great poster.   Funniest Post: Czech comes up with "Steve Hitler." I don't remember if it was this year or last year, but it's still great.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

28 Weeks Later, Kirk Cameron, and New Order

-I saw "28 Weeks Later" on Friday, and it's great. I'd dare to say that it's just as good as the first one. It's a bit more depressing than the fisrt one, since there is no hope in this one, unlike "28 Days Later", where there was some hope. Also, to quote Joe Bob Briggs, "Anyone can die at any moment." I like to call that the "Psycho" rule, since some people who you expect to live don't. I won't tell you who, you have to see for yourself.   -Remember when I ranted about Kirk Cameron and his jackass buddies on my rant last week? Well, he's still at it, trying to prove that God exists on ABC news. If you didn't see it, here's how it went: Cameron made an idiot of himself while giving shitty evangelical responses that you'd see from a televangelist, and the Athiest did the typical "make fundies look stupid" stuff while having the charisma of a snail. So basically, I learned nothing from it, though it once again shows that people from both sides can be annoying. You can see it on the ABC news website, and on Google video. Oh, the Kelly chick was hot though, and had really great tits.   That out of the way, I'm going to repeat myself in a way, but shut the fuck up Cameron. Nobody is trying to turn you into an Athiest, so drop the Goddamn persecution comples. Christians make up the majority when it comes to religion in the U.S., so nobodies persecuting you.   Also, have you ever noticed that these kinds of debates never teach us anything?   -New Order broke up. I would be upset, but let's face it, their last two albums were horrible, and it was pretty much about time to break up. So yeah, good for them.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Crazy Preacher, Prince Harry, Season Finales, and Phelps

-Lately down at the quad at the university (it's by the library-I'm at Wright State, BTW) there has been this crazy preacher guy. I say he's crazy because he hates gays, Catholics, Liberals, and a host of the other usual suspects (insert joke by kkktookmybabyaway here). I haven't gotten to see him yet (a few of my friends have) but I've been wanting to, since I could use a good laugh. Also, he has about 15 or more people yelling at him, so I probably wouldn't have a word in.   There were also two old guys outside two days ago (same day as the crazy preacher) protesting the war. I kind of felt bad for them. I mean, two people? That's not too good.   -Fred Phelps is still at it (like you are suprised), ready to picket Jerry Falwells funeral (Phelps is one of the few people one Earth who almost makes Falwell look good-almost), and putting together a lovely video called God Hates the World.   -Remember when it was announced that Prince Harry was going to serve in Iraq? Think Again. I guess his family found out that war is dangerous. That out of the way, you knew there was no way in hell he was going to fight over there.   -Finally, tonight's the season finale of "The Office", which I'm looking forward to. What can i say, I love the show (especially Mindy Kaling, who plays the uber adorable Kelly Kapoor. To hell with Pam, I like Kelly)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

I Need Something To Chew On

-I'm back. I had to do finals, and I went to my brothers graduation party (beer was good, party was so-so), and I saw "Hostel Part II" (pretty good)   -Paris Hilton went to jail, and I don't care. Seriously, why does anybody still give a shit about this woman? She's completley worthless, has contributed nothing to society, yet people won't shut up about her. I don't care, and I don't want to hear about her.   - Just thought you should know.   -Finally, here's a man singing while fucking a girl's ass. NSFW obviously, but great none the less.     Sorry for the boring journal entry.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Live Earth, Children of Men, The Fountain, Transformers movie

-Live Earth sucked. Aside from a few good performances (Roger Waters, Metallica, Crowded Houses, & Duran Duran), it was largely dull. The Police were horrible, Yellow Magic Orchestra (think Kraftwerk, only Japanese and a bit more lighthearted) were dull and their set was too short, Al Gore looked more like Darrell Hammond playing Al Gore than the actual thing, and well, it sucked.   -If you haven't seen "Children of Men" yet, go rent it. It's one of the best movies of last year, and it has an awesome soundtrack. That out of the way, avoid "The Fountain", which aside from an excellent score, is really boring and pretentious.   -Transformers is the top movie in America (bet yer suprised), and as I already mentioned, is a blast. It's amazing that out of all the huge budget blockbusters, this one is the best. "Spider Man 3" was a dissapointment, "POTC 3' is pretty much milking the franchise for all it's worth, and I'd rather stuck my nuts in a vice than watch "Shrek 3" again. Besides, "28 Weeks Later" was the best sequal of the summer so far.   -Finally, how stupid can hippies be?   In the following days, look for:   A sequal to the Metal albums thread Some of my favorite hip hop songs
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Favorite Hip Hop songs, part 1

Zapp & Roger - More Bounce to the Ounce More R&B/Funk than hip hop, but the amount of artists that have sampled it (Coolio, Compton's Most Wanted, Brotha Lynch Hung, Ice Cube, Public Enemy, Insane Clown Posse, EPMD, and many more) makes it impossible to resist, especially the awesome beat. The best use of the song as a sample source goes to EPMD's "You Got's Ta Chill" and Ice Cube'ss "Steady Mobbin'"   Public Enemy - Shut 'em Down One of their angriest songs, with an incredibly hard hitting beat, vitrolic lyrics, and more, it's one of the groups last hurrah's before they hit mediocrity.   Wu Tang Clan - Grave Pit Awesome rhymes, a great use of Gap Band samples, excellent chorus (I hum it to myself regularly), and we go back, and forth...   Ice Cube - Ghetto Vet Carnival mentioned this song in the past, and it's a good one. Probably Cube's most underrated song.   Erik B. & Rakim - I Know You Got Soul One of the early examples of using James Brown samples, it's also one of the best. Rakim may be the closest thing Hip Hop has ever had to having God on the mic, and the samples and breaks just makes it a great cut.   Man Parrish - Boogie Down Bronx Though "Hip Hop Be Bop" is more well known (and was used to great effect in "Shaun of the Dead"), "Boogie Down Bronx" is Man Parrish's best song.   Big Daddy Kane - Ain't No Half Steppin' "I stop and stand strong over MC’s/ And devour with the power of Hercules" That is still one of the best lines in Hip Hop history.   Afrika Bambaataa + Soul Sonic Force - Planet Rock Yeah, so some old school hip hop has mediocre rhymes, but this is still great. Everything from the Kraftwerk sample, tot he influence the song has on Hip Hop, House, and Electro. It would be a crime not to include it.   Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Doggy Dogg - Deep Cover While I also love "Nothin' But a G Thang", "Deep Cover" is the best Dre/Snoop collaberation.   Dr. Dre - Lyrical Gangbangs One of the most underrated Dre songs, with a pounding, metallic snare drum beat, and maybe some of his best wok on the mic.   Don't worry, there's more to come.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

That's pretty gay dude

-The reason for this entry's title: "Hairspray" and "I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry" are in theatres. That's pretty gay.   -There's a thread in CS right now that started with something MikeSC said. I'm I really missing something over at The Pit. Last I checked, the music folder isn't too active. Also, how did Mike try to spin the Mark Foley thing?   -In case you didn't see Larry King last night, it seems like Tammy Faye Baker will be kicking the bucket soon. A shame really, as she's one of the few fundies I can think of who's tolerable, and who seems like a nice person.   -A creepy looking couple was caught having sex in public. The Couple themselves: It's never the couples who you want to see. He looks like a white trash version of David Cross.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Return to the mall

Sunday was interesting, as I returned to the mall. Was it a fun experience?   Unlike last time, I saw no Juggalos. I even found t-shirts I wanted (all horror movie related). The guy working at the store though, hoo-boy. He was a loud talker. I mean a really loud talker. I was practically worried he was going to skin me alive, the way he went on about horror movies and whatnot, practically seeming like he was about to come out of his skin. In short, he scared the shit out of me. Oh, and the guy he was working with him looked like a chick. Also, the music they played in there sucked.   I thought of going into the Hot Topic for a laugh, but changed my mind. I already went to one store for shirts (called Cosmic or some bullshit) so I didn't want to suffer. I did go to the bookstore there (Waldens, which sure as hell ain't Borders) and got John Skipp's book "The Long Last Call." It's a good, quick read, with interesting characters, as well as a great introduction by Brian Keene.   All this out of the way, it would be nice if the people working at the mall knew where certain places were. Come on, they work there at the mall, and they don't know where the mall's book store is? Also, why do bookstores all the sudden have to be flooded with Anime merchandise? I go there to get a horror or sci-fi novel, or a magazine, not to have Inuyasha (no, not CronoT's attempt at being a master of disguise) look at me.   I then went to FYE, then left. In case the music industry is wondering "why aren't people buying CD's like they used to?", it probably has to do with the fact that CD's cost $19.99. I'm not paying that much for a Neurosis CD, no matter how much I like the band. That's too fucking expensive.   So yeah, that's my return to the mall in a nutshell.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

The 2 Lamest Forms fo Pornography

No description needed. With NSFW examples.   5.) Hentai-Hey, why not wack off to something that isn't even real! Come on, why masturbate to animation or drawings? Just go with the real thing, it will save you the embarresment. Another reason hentai goes here is because of it's fantasy element. And by that, I mean tentacles. Just watch a gang bang video if you want to see a girl surrounded by a swarm of cocks.   4.) Erotic Fanfiction-Believe it or not, this used to be dominated by lonely guys without a chance of getting laid. Now it's dominated by sexually repressed teenage girls and housewives who like to think if Goku or Harry Potter taking it in the ass. Oh, and fictional males becoming impregnated.   3.) Furry Porn-What's worse than spanking it to anime? Spanking it to anthropomorphic animals and dressing up like said animals for sex. Someday, the internet will become so ingrated into the minds of humanity that normal consensual sex will be frowned upon and looked at as taboo.   2.) Second Life-Can't get laid? Masturbation just not doing it anymore? Then go to Second Life and pretend that you're getting pussy! It's pretty much virtual sex, only more widely used, and more pathetic. Oh, and apparently, furries have now gotten in on it. And yes, they watch anthropomorphic animals fucking instead of virtual people, which is even more pathetic than watching virtual people.   1.) Girls Gone Wild-Compared to the other examples, this one is tame. That's one of the reason's I included this, and why it is the most pathetic form of pornography available: porn that really isn't porn at all. Sure, there's all the tits and ass you'd expect, but it's so tame. It's pretty much porn for those who are too weak to look at actual porn.   And that's the list.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

People I have on ignore-and why.

I have posters on ignore, and for obvious reasons. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Here's who and why:   Deon-Every post he makes is horrible. He annoys me in every way. In a way, he is the worst poster on TSM who has never been banned. C-Bacon-"Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff"-Frank Zappa. Think about that Bacon. cabbageboy-I've known of his badness for a while, and just recently put him on ignore. He's a pretty bad poster, especially in the movie and WWE folders-which are known for having bad posters. razazteca-He seems to have disappeared. Maybe I should put him off ignore. VanHalen-Also M.I.A. Should have been named VanCherone. Banky-Hard to enjoy the music folder without him on ignore. The Truthiness-Put him on ignore last night. I am fully convinced he is a gimmick. Here's people I should have on ignore, and probably will someday.  CheesalaisGood-I am absolutely certain this man is a truther. Narcoleptic Jumper-He is a truther. Enigma-Would make going to the WWE folder more enjoyable. EHME-Do I really need to explain? Marvinisalunatic-Ditto, though he's a little less annoying lately.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

2008 so far

We're about halfway done, so here's a look at the year so far.   -Heath Ledger died, and TSM was struck by the "Serial Pillist." Also, people are already raving about "The Dark Knight", even though it hasn't come out yet.   -Marvin got progressivley worse, reaching levels not reached since the reign of wildpegasus, and Deon got stupider. Both made it to the finals of the "worst TSM poster" tournament. I still hate them both. Amazingly, Marvin seems aware that he sucks and annoys people, while Deon is oblivious to it. Deon bumped a Jay-Z/Linkin Park thread, not realizing everyone with functioning braincells hates Linkin Park, and Marvin loves Glenn Beck, 3 Doors Down, and Staind.   -The Campaign 2008 Thread became horrible, with Marvin trolling the thread, Jerk arguing with everybody, CheesalaLovesRonPaul calling me a Republican (sorry cheesy, you are wrong), and Marney-my God Marney. She has to be a gimmick.There is no way a hardcore, insane conservative stereotype lesbian exists. No way. And that's not an insult to conservatives, as she's more insane than actually conservative. I dread her return. Still, she's better than Marvin at least, as she seems approchable outside of the CE folder.   -As far as music goes, Portishead have the best album of the year so far. Best Metal album so far is either Boris' Smile, Earth's The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull (not really metal though) or Nachtmystium's Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1. Best hip hop album is probably The Re-Up Gang's mixtape We Got it for Cheap Vol. 3. I think that The Carter 3 doesn't live up to all the hype it's been getting. It's a listenable album with a few great tracks, but it's not as great as everyone says it is.   -As far as horror goes, the best horror movie overall seems to be "Inside", with "The Lost", "[REC]", and "The Signal" as runners up.   -We were all reminded that Juggalos are the lowest rung of the music fan ladder, thus making me feels bad for Carnival. Speaking of him, I wish he'd post more.   -EHME finally had that kid.   -Obama is the official nominee, which means more bitching from Czech.   -Czech, Kingof909, NYU, and Vitamin X became mods.   -cabbageboy may be one of the dumbest or at least most annoying people, in the WWE folder right now. Everybody hates him for a reason.   -In spite of winning the worst poster tournament, Marvin was never banned, though he's tuned it down some. He's still terrible. Deon had posts in the "Things that Anger You" thread that are CronoT posting levels.   -Corey Lazerus prefers Nerd Rap to Real Rap.   -VH! Presents: I Love The New Millenium. Or: VH1 needs to be cancelled.   -Finally, "Kobe, How Does My Ass Taste?" No, not Kobe Tai...
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

A Letter to Leena

Dear Leena,   I doubt you are reading this-actually, since you seem to have OCD when it comes to TSM, you probably are, so here goes: People don't like you not because you just happen to be a woman. People don't like you because you're you. You are completely unlikable, do nothing but act superior to others, have mood swings, and behave like a total bitch. Maybe if you didn't obsess over this place (seriously, there's other message boards better and worse than this one), and got an attitude adjustment, then you wouldn't be a punchline. And who obsesses over a fucking message board anyway? How much free time do you have in your hands? We aren't forums.somethingawful.com ya know. My guess: a lot. Really, we aren't worthy of so much attenton. Maybe you just do this because it gets you the attention you cannot obtain in the real world (you know, that amazing place outside of the internet-yes, it really exists!) So in short: get a life, and drop the martyr complex.   Love, gary floyd   P.S. Paul fucking sucks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
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