8 a.m.
• So here are some updates to my super-wonder family.
A while back the out-of-control niece-in-law got knocked up. While she’s “seeing” someone this has all the makings of “Who’s the baby’s daddy” episodes you see on Maury Povich’s show. Now the niece is taking a page out of her crack mother’s book and applying for HUD, food stamps, etc. And this is why whenever I hear a Democrat or some “social activist” bitch about how we aren’t spending enough on the poor I want to take a brick to the side of their skull. But why am I talking about this particular welfare leech? Well earlier this week the better half told me she was going to start working Saturdays at a local pizza place she’s worked off-and-on for the past 16 years. Why was she going back one day a week?
Was it because she wanted us to put away even more money away due to the BUSH ECONOMY? No.
Did she want to pay off her student loans quicker? Not quite.
Could she be trying to save up for a big-screen television for her favorite husband? Don’t think so.
What was the reason? Mrs. kkk, along with her mother, were going to spring for a BABY SHOWER for the niece. Her reasoning: “Well you wouldn’t want to spend any money for this.” My reply: “You’re right.”
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Sorry, that was me banging my head on the keyboard. Actually, I don’t care what the better half does with her time. I told her my opinion of the whole situation and that was that. Oh, here was another reason she gave: “I want to give the kid a chance.” So buying a stroller and box of diapers will be that edge which will give this spawn the chance he/she needs? Good God. I then said to Mrs. kkk that the niece-in-law will now be coming back to her every time she wants something. After all, this is the really cool aunt that sprang for my baby shower. Just five years ago when the niece was 15 she went to live with the better half’s mother because the niece’s mother was/is a crack-whore. What did the niece do during this time? Not a goddamn thing except bitch about having to live in such a draconian house with rules like “no staying out after 2 a.m.” After three hours of saying how she couldn’t wait until she turned 18 and was “free,” she proceeded to stay at this same death camp and drunk/inject/screw her life away.
Now instead of completely disconnecting from this cancer, Mrs. kkk is about to open up an avenue where the stupidity of her niece’s future life decisions will also take an emotional toll on the better half. I told the her months ago when we learned of this impregnation that I want nothing to do with this branch of the family tree, and I guess it’s a good thing that she didn’t try to guilt me into spending money we already have on this baby shower.
Oh, but this isn’t the only white-trash loser I have an update on.
Remember my favorite welfare brood? Well it turns out the matriarch is knocked up again. Now you may think, “Well poor people always have kids – they can’t afford to go anywhere so all they can do is stay home and breed.” This isn’t one of those cases. The husband, who’s at least 20 years older than the wife, is sterile after having a half-dozen or so kids from previous relationships. (I think that is God’s way of saying “you reeled in your limit.”) But that’s not stopping the wife from reproducing. She BUYS SPERM and has it SHIPPED TO HER HOUSE. The then TAKES AN EYEDROPPER and KNOCKS HERSELF UP. (Previously I thought she went to a clinic. I didn't know she did it herself at home. Then again, that explains why her second kid's head is shaped like a Hershey's kiss, still cannot talk after several years and just started taking Ritalin.) Well now she’s got Bun Number Three in the oven. Have I mentioned lately how much I loathe these people? You don’t understand, I have a burning hatred for this clan.
Here are some “highlights” from blog entries past:
December 27, 2006: The family newsletter, where we learn that the husband will be soon working FULL-TIME as a janitor.
January 4, 2007: Those damn bill collectors.
April 18, 2007: Damn housing market getting ruined by the BUSH ECONOMY.
July 7, 2007: Because it deserves repeating.
July 31: 2007: We liked the visit to your neighborhood so much we want to live there. Besides, your school is better and we didn't realize that if we are going to send our kids to government school that maybe we should have looked at what district our current house resides at.
September 17, 2007: Rose-petal bubble bath -- the perfect gift for dad on his 57th birthday.
I almost forgot. The crack-whore sister-in-law (mother to the niece-in-law mentioned above) just had all her Rent-A-Center merchandise taken out of her trailer. I think she's getting the boot from said trailer park, too. The funny thing is that she collects disability but yet has just about all her utilities/phone shut off. So even when you give these welfare bums MONEY for BILLS they still can't manage their lives. But yet we still don't spend enough money on our disadvantaged.
5 p.m.
• So I've had the Euro game between the Netherlands and commies and I was about to make some smart-ass remark about the cameramen only showing crowd shots of attractive Dutch women. Then they showed several shots of shirtless Russian males. Uh, guys. I wasn't saying NOT to show the women of Holland.
6:30 p.m.
• Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?
So the better half had a job interview today. I don’t know what it was about – something about a research study about old people killing themselves. Or was it about old people peeing themselves? It doesn’t matter. In the end it’s a bunch of wasted money. Anyway, she spoke with this one guy who runs the study. So far so good. Mrs. kkk like him. He gave her wrong directions to the interview location and admitted his mistake. Hey, that’s a good sign. He’s normal. In academia. Then we got to the woman who’s some big shit with the study.
Oh man.
Here was one her questions to the better half: “You plan on having kids?” When Mrs. kkk revealed to her that she miscarried earlier this year, the interviewer paused and then made some remark about if she’s going to try again. She also asked some other questions like, “So do you have a boyfriend?” Good God. And of course I get a phone call from the better half after this was all over bitching about the interview. Then me, playing the GODDMAN OPTIMIST, says, “would you rather know this bitch is a cunt once you were working there?” I still don’t know how I got to be the positive thinker in all this – she’s got three more interviews in the next two weeks. When you have an employable skill in demand YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST JOB OFFERED TO YOU. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to convince Mrs. kkk to file a complaint regarding this illegal line of questioning (I’m tired of working; I want a seven-figure settlement), but she has already informed the person who runs the study that she is withdrawing her name from consideration due to the treatment she received at the interview and gone into detail about the cross-examining. That’s my girl.
I almost forgot. Mrs. kkk's soon-to-be ex-boss has also made the "You're just going to get pregnant again" comments over the last few months when commenting on whether or not she's going to be around. This was of course before she got laid off.
• Speaking of the better half -- she was on a Thursday news broadcast on one of our local television stations. No, she wasn't interviewed. She was in the background for about half-a-second. And naturally her story didn't come on until 50 or so minutes into the program.
• I don't care what anybody says, I like these ads.
7 p.m.
• So I was at work Tuesday when I heard a rustle up against a tree near my office. I had the window open, so the noise was loud enough force a turnaround and looksee. Turns out it was a groundhog. In the tree. As I watched him trying to stay on the branches, he got freaked out by my observing and ran back down to the ground. What was the reason? There was a cat eyeing him up. The groundhog then bolted across the street with the cat in pursuit. The funniest thing about all this? The groundhog was at least TWICE the size of the cat and could probably crush the kitty without a second thought. Oh well. Attitude plays more of a factor in intimidation than one would think.
• While unloading groceries yesterday I had ESPN on as background noise. And what did they have on? A THREE-HOUR special about the Lakers v Celtics. Good God. The games don't even last that long. Is this the basketball version of Yankees/Red Sox?
9 p.m.
• So I found out today that my former place of employment is now making its employees pay for part of their health insurance. But kkk, you might ask, don’t many employers do this to help curb the cost of premiums? Sure they do. However, this place doesn’t pay its workers jack shit to begin with. In fact, I remember when the job offer was made to me I was told REPEATED times that the big benefit to working here is that the health insurance was paid for. Guess that’s not the case anymore. So now do my former co-workers have the lowest wages in the industry (this is a fact – our actuary did a report on this a few years ago) but now they have to pay for the one reason many of them stay there. Well they stay for that and their inability to actually go out and get a different job. While I’m on this subject, my ex-coworker got all the i’s dotted and t’s crossed and will be starting his new job shortly. Well after he gets his June commission check because he wrote several hundred thousand dollars worth of business and doesn’t want to get cheated out of his money.
Oh, and while everyone at the office has to pay for part of their health insurance, the person who replaced me at my job is starting out at a much higher wage than my starting figure (once again, more power to her) and getting thousands of dollars of new equipment that isn’t necessary because the current office equipment is more than satisfactory (it’s only three years old; I had to go through hoops in late 2004 to get a new computer to replace the 1998 model I was working on at the time). Oh, and the idiot boss has also hired a third-party contractor to work on the web site, which is what I used to do. Of course, the web site hasn’t been updated in almost FIVE MONTHS and this person has been on the job for almost two months. Then there’s going to be the full-time assistant my successor is supposed to get as well. And my ex-coworkers, the same ex-coworkers who have been picking up additional responsibilities since my resignation, now have to chip to control workplace expenses. I swear to Christ this is soooooo entertaining to observe when you aren’t directly affected by this stupidity. Then again, there comes a time when you have to realize the shithole you are spending one-third of your day isn’t worth it anymore and that the time to look for another way to pay the mortgage is now. Sadly, there are some people I used to work with that will never get this. Fortunately, my one co-worker who worked next to me isn’t one of those sad sacks.
• You know, I actually wouldn’t mind this idea – if you got a discount/banked space for not going over your allotment. Then again, what’s the point of offering incentives? Then again … again … I know I don’t download that much porn so I don’t have to worry about this extra billing. I hope.
9:30 p.m.
• Reason #5479834 why karma is going to kick me. Hard.
Last night the better half got a call from her co-worker. Turns out her boyfriend (who was married but on the outs with his wife -- whatever) killed himself and she was the first to find the body. My first response? “Does this mean we’re not going out with them to Kennywood later this month?” Sue me for trying to incorporate some much-needed humor into this otherwise gloomy situation.
However, in some good news, several years ago I talked about the happy times the kkk household had when I found out just how much credit card debt Mrs. kkk accumulated over the years. Well, a while back this debt was vanquished and Phase II of this master plan went into effect. After the credit cards were paid off I wanted to put a sizable amount of money in the checking and savings accounts. I go over the finances at the end of each month, and I was waiting for the day when, after all the bills were paid for the month, we got to a certain balance in both accounts. June 1 had us at $68 above this targeted minimum. What did Mrs. kkk do to celebrate? Go out and buy two shirts at Kohl’s (at least it was a BOGO) along with buying a hose container for the newly purchased “kink-less” hose she purchased a week or so ago. Sigh.
Now it's onto Phase III -- pay off the car (only 5 more installments until it breaks down) and my school loan. This should be completed by October/November -- just in time for Black Friday.
7:30 p.m.
• So Friday I talked about going to my first Pirates game since PNC Park was built. Actually, I think the last time I went to a Pirates game was in 1993, but whatever. No, wait. There was a game after that a few years later when my old man informed a group of us that due to being exposed to toxic chemicals he grew two added balls. What a night at the ball park that was. But I digress.
So we got there before the game started, but the problem was the two people coming from out-of-state were still in Shittsburgh traffic. I knew they would be. No problem. It’s not like I’m in any hurry to watch the Bucs. And of course, during the first inning, I hear via an outside speaker that the Cubs have already scored. Now that was a surprise. Our guests showed up and we headed to our seats. It was still the first inning, so I only wasted 1/9 of my ticket. No biggie.
My impressions? It was a ball park home to a shit team. Who cares? The better half actually liked the experience more than she, or I, thought. Then again, she was looking at just about everything around her BUT the actual play on the field. I guess that’s the point. And what is up with showing stock quotes on the narrow electronic marquees up around the stadium? One thing I will give props to is that the out-of-town scoreboard not only shows every other major-league contest but also who is on base and how many outs left in the current half-inning. I’m not sure how often this gets updated, but whatever.
Oh, yeah. The Pirates. Holy fuck are they awful. I don’t pay any attention to this team during the season, so I never really observe just how they accomplish losing season after losing season. Here’s the box score:
CHC (29-19) 2 1 1 1 3 1 0 3 0 12 19 0
PIT (22-26) 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 1 0 3 8 2
The Cubs scored in ALL but TWO innings. The Pirates had a runner on third with NO OUTS and couldn’t bring him in. The Cubs let Carlos Zambrano in the top of the seventh and brought in a relief pitcher in the bottom of the inning. Yeah, I know he’s a good hitting pitcher. And of course, when your pitcher goes FOUR FOR FIVE with TWO RBI, why not leave him out there? The Pirates clean-up hitter is hitting .220; the Cubs clean-up hitter (a former Pirate) is hitting .296 – that’s about all I need to say.
Then there was the pitching. For as bad as Zach Duke was in his 4 innings, he looked like an ace once Sean Burnett took the mound. This performance was so bad it was laughable – in fact, my one guest said by the 4th inning that, as an outsider, watching the Pirates play was an “interesting experience.” I think she said this around the time a ball was hit to the shortstop and after spending a few seconds pondering to throw the ball to second base (or was it third base? No matter) he decided to throw it to first, which was too little too late. Then there were the several botched double plays – I can’t remember what innings these took place in because it seemed the Cubs had multiple runners in scoring position each inning.
I will say this though: I never thought I’d say a $6 order of nachos is worth the price, but damn that was some good shit. Too bad I had to go to FOUR DIFFERENT STANDS before getting them. First stand? They didn’t sell them. Fortunately, I didn’t stay in line too long for that one. I went to the stand next to this one. After a 5-10 minute wait I discover they are out – in the bottom of the 5th. I then went two stands over to some fancy place. There’s a lady behind the register. Someone just left that register with food. I walk up and learn that she doesn’t sell nachos. But there are nachos behind her. She says to go to the middle of the stand. The hell? I go there. Guess what? In order to get nachos I have to GO BACK TO THE LADY I ORIGINALLY SPOKE TO. Good fucking Christ. Finally, I get to the next stand and buy my overpriced shit. Hey, I’m going to a MLB game – the food’s going to be expensive. For as cheap as I am I do spend the cash pretty freely at occasions like these. And after all that I have to reiterate – those nachos were good shit.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. The game. While I was away the Pirates scored a few runs, but by now it was 8-2. Yeah, there’s going to be a rally. One observation I made during the course of this game was that there were a number of Cubs fans, and nobody from Shittsburgh cared when they cheered their beloved Cubbies each time a run was scored, which was often. I remember back in ’90 when the Pirates played the Mets fans throwing popcorn on a Metropolitan fan when he and his kid cheered a big play by the visiting team. I remember a Pirates fan getting into a drunken brawl with a Braves fan in the ’92 NLCS. This game? Nothing. It’s like those Pirate fans in attendance knew their team sucked and the visiting fans had every right to clap, hoot and holler.
And if you can’t have fireworks on the field during the game, you can have them after the game is over. Uh, yay. Mrs. kkk loves fireworks. I’m indifferent. Here’s another PNC compliment: The seats are WAY more comfortable than the Reds stadium. And the vendors are nearly as annoying as those in Cincinnati. I’m also amazed that with this horrid economy people would pay $10 for parking and more than $6 for a giant hot dog. Damn you George W. Bush and your tax cuts for the rich.
8 p.m.
• So that's why Mark Madden hasn't been on the air the last few days.
I didn't make a comment here about Uncle Ted's condition because I have a feeling the minute I do karma is going to bite me in the ass ... hard. Good thing I had Mark to say it. Yeah, I know. It's cold in here. Brrrrrr.
Hmm, where I have heard this story before? I person on ESPN says some OFFENSIVE and nothing is done for days after the fact.
Oh fuck you all. "Longer look." Much like anything that takes place at ESPN, these faggot-ass cunts waited until a bunch of people who don't like Madden to begin with bitched.
So what if he goes after certain people -- are they untouchable? Yeah he's a pig. And that's why I listened to him several times a week.
OK, now that was funny. Wrestling fans, if you think he shilled for WCW back in the day, that's NOTHING compared to what he does with the Penguins.
So?
It's amazing. Whenever some conservative group with their panties in a wad complains about sex/violence/blacks on television/movies/radio we're always told by liberal elites to just not watch/listen to this stuff. But when it's something like Madden or Michael Savage it's HATE SPEECH. Oh well. And for the record, Madden is no conservative.
If the local Fox Sports Radio had any brains (and balls) they would hire Madden after his contract expires (he's still getting paid by ESPN). They probably won't, but I could be wrong.
10 p.m.
• Well, I knew it was going to happen someday. Remember this from 2+ years ago?
Well guess who's going to see a Pirates game tomorrow because his one out-of-state friend and her husband are visiting and want to see a game PNC Park? Yep. Well, it's the Cubs so the Bucs will probably get pounded 10-0. Oh well, at least I got $5 off each ticket because of some Comcast deal.
4 p.m.
• So today the better half and I went to the bank to open up a savings account. After Mrs. kkk’s credit cards got paid off, I said we were going to have an initial rainy day fund that would eventually be turned into a savings account. This would happen once we got to a specific figure in our checking account. Well this past month we met that figure, so it was time to move that money to a savings account. This of course meant it was time to go to the bank and watch the bank person react in surprise when they find out how much money we have in our account. This happened when I first moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 and opened up an account. This also happened earlier this year when I went to get a debit card for my account. And just to show that I wasn’t crazy about the surprised facial contortions, I asked the better half to watch for such a reaction. The best part came when the banker asked, “Well do you know what account you would like to open?” After I said what account would work best for us, she spent a few minutes looking at her notes and said, “That’s right. You have enough to get into the higher-tier interest rate!” Pft. Like it matters. Now the plan is to keep the checking account at the amount we predetermined and any extra money left over in that account at the end of the month will be spent paying off my school loan. I figure that should take a few months, and then it will be onto the next task at hand.
• I just realized that the postage rate went up yet again. I knew it was going to increase, but I wasn’t sure when. It must be nice to run an industry where you don’t have to worry about your competition setting prices lower than yours. But I digress. I discovered a reason to keep pennies – to get 1-cent stamps. Earlier this year at Sam’s Club trip we got a 100-roll of stamps. How many stamps do we have left? 68. How many 1-cent stamps did I get today? 68. How many pennies did I use? 68. Unrolled. Hey, if they want to raise postage rates by a penny, then they should expect a similar brand of currency. Actually, it wasn’t that tense a transaction. Here’s what I hate most about the post office. No matter who’s in front of me in line, it takes 5-10 minutes (at least) to complete their order. When I step up, it takes a minute – two tops. Then again, I don’t stand there and carefully pick out the design of stamps I want to purchase. Goddamn I hate old people.
9:30 p.m.
• You know, it's not the actual story that caught my eye.
A 4-3 opinion over a hot-button topic whose final decision favors the liberal side of the debate. Odd how there's no mention of a "splintered" or "divided" court decision, although we learn that this court is REPUBLICAN-DOMINATED (whatever the hell that means in California).
Yet a while back I posted this story, also published by the Associated Press...
Wait a second, I was about to do a "how come one case is divided and the other case is splintered," but then I decided to actually, you know, LOOK UP the word in question.
Fudgesicles. Damn you liberal media.
10 p.m.
• So earlier this week I was at Target picking up the better half’s birth control pills when the lady in front of me asked around as to when the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out. Since nobody else knew, I decided to end the awkward silence by saying “May 22.” She then got as giddy as this chick at the grocery store…
…but I digress.
After she picked up her prescription and paid for that and her Indiana Jones DVD set, I shook my head, which prompted the one pharmacist to ask, “What’s wrong?” The following conversation took place. You’ll figure out who is who.
“No self-respecting Indiana Jones fan will look forward to this.”
“Why? I heard it was going to be good.”
“No, it won’t.”
“I have some friends who are in film school and they said the special effects and action will be great.”
“No, it won’t.”
“Why do you think that?”
“They should have stopped with ‘The Last Crusade.’”
“Why?”
“Because it was the perfect ending. Indiana riding off with his father, Sallah and Brody into the sunset. Connery won’t be in this one. Neither will Sallah. And Brody’s dead. Everything in that last scene in ‘The Last Crusade’ has just been wiped away.”
“So you’re not going to see it in the theater.”
“No, but I’ll probably get it on DVD.”
“Why?”
“Because, whether I like it or not, it’s INDIANA JONES.”
*Sigh* I feel the same way about the Star Wars prequels.
Wow, I point out my inability to understand the English language and show how much of a sucker I am with movie franchises just as old as me – all in one entry. I need to inject myself with some manliness. That last line isn’t helping my case much, either...
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (without using naughty words)
PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (thug lyricz)
You know, for a song that has the line:
I find it funny that the following is also included in this track…
…
Wait a second:
Uhhh, that’s not the correct line, Lyrics Freak.
What the hell?
Lyrics Depot
MP3 Lyrics
STL Lyrics
E Lyrics,
Complete Album Lyrics
Lyrics on Demand
Lyrics Time
Thank you Metro Lyrics. Finally, someone gets the line right.
No, I'm not repeating an entry I made last year. In that post I was remarking on the "Give strong blows to the heads of my foes," line, not the "dick in ya ass" line. With this entry, I'm also pointing out that I may not know what "splintered" means, but I can remember a song's line about anal sex from 16 years ago.
...
God what the hell is wrong with me?
Hmm, interesting take on the YouTube comment section:
That's actually a valid point. Maybe Sadat was a late bloomer.
11:59 p.m.
• As an avid rap listener back in the 1980s and '90s, I remember hearing a number of edited songs on the radio and on albums. While many of these "kid friendly" versions were awful with the non-thug words and gaping pauses, one of my favorite edits came in one of my favorites songs of the early 1990s…
…and my jimmy runs deep … so deep … so deep put her BUTT to sleep...
Speaking of this time, I was listening to Comcast’s Old School Rap music channel. It’s not a permanent channel, but it pops up often enough. However, today they played “Nothing but a G Thing” and “Rump Shaker.” Old School? Fuck. Old school is Doug E. Fresh and the Treacherous Three. Oh well, I’m sure someone in his 40s would disagree with that. C’est la vie.
• From my 5/7 post:
Actually, the better half used to not be a vengeful bitch. That is until meeting me. Now she is almost as bad as me, although she still has way more tact than me. However, in this instance, I have to say she won’t need to torpedo the operation because her boss will have no trouble doing that shortly after she leaves. We’re still trying to figure out the best way to exit. Because we don’t have a crystal ball, she’s looking now for a new job. However, if we knew that she would be gainfully employed September 1 at a new workplace, I would want her to stay until her final day of work on August 31. This way she can suck up as much money from this grant as possible and make her boss feel more uncomfortable than she already feels. Then again, the sooner she leaves, the greater the train wreck will be. Oddly enough, when I knew my time at my former place of employment was going to be limited, I actually worked harder. The reason? Whenever I would leave, the quality of work I did would be magnified, and believe me I was right. Not only is the work downright embarrassing, but also it’s taking FOUR people (not including the person who replaced me) to do what I did by myself. And the work is also getting out almost a month later than it should be. Sometimes it’s best to not do a thing to torpedo your ex-employers; many of them can do that without your assistance.
• Speaking of SFAJack and his possible 15 minutes of fame, back when the Clinton/Lewinsky was unearthed I was part of one of those “man on the street” interviews. I was headed to my job at the theater and I noticed this reporter and photographer trying to get people to give their opinion of the story. I figured I’d help them out – besides, my one journalism class had a project where I needed to interview a reporter so I figured I’d do a quid pro quo. I gave him a nice quote and he gave me an easy way to accomplish an annoying class project a few weeks later. My quote? It went something like, “It’s too early to say anything one way or the other, but I think he should resign for other reasons.”
7 p.m.
• Well today was a bit of a shocker. We found out that Mrs. kkk got laid off. Actually, she’ll be out of work August 31. Why? According to her idiot boss, because the boss doesn’t like working in the academic world and will use her grant money to pay her salary and not the better half’s. All I have to say is that for as fucked up as my former place of employment has been since my departure, this has the makings of a classic. Why? Because without the better half there, her soon-to-be ex-boss will have to do the vast majority of work.
The same person that comes in at 11 a.m. and leaves at 2 p.m. yet bitches about being “overworked.”
The same person that once put salad dressing on a salad the night before some social function and wondered why the salad was ruined the next morning.
The same person who poured sugar instead of parmesan cheese over her pasta during dinner.
The same person who (just a few weeks ago) saw an expense sheet and didn’t know what “balance” meant.
The same person who never locks the petty cash drawer and had checks stolen that racked up thousands of dollars in theft.
The same person that fights with every department and vendor there is, even though she is wrong 99 percent of the time.
The same person.
Oh this has the makings to be a classic. Did I mention this chick has a Ph.D.? No? Well, I'm sure you figured that out by the "expense sheet" line.
As for Mrs. kkk – she’ll get another job, hopefully within the university system. The only adjustment will be that we would carpool a bit later in the morning and afternoon. The busier traffic will be a downer, but it’s nothing major – most the time I leave late from my job anyway because I get a lot of last-minute calls/etc. The odd thing is even if I was to lose this job I really wouldn’t care. If my current employer’s funding gets discontinued and I have to start looking at the classifieds again, I would actually be comfortable with doing so. I don’t hate where I work, but rather the time I spent here has shown me that not EVERY workplace situation has to be a dysfunctional affair.
8:30 p.m.
• I wonder what it would be like to be the target of a GLOBAL man-hunt?
That's when you know you done fucked up. Then again, I'm sure I could sleep at night knowing the Frenchies are after me.
• Idiot.
It's not like the poor gas station owner is reaping the profits. You know, what the hell is going to happen when there's a real fuel shortage or when rationing is forced upon us? Maybe having a Democrat in office, along with a Democrat congress, won't be so bad. After all, Medium-Large Media would then tell us what a bargain $4/gallon gas really is.
• I've been meaning to talk about this gem of a story for a few days now. Here's the latest.
God bless the K-9 unit. Too bad the dog did more for society than that two-bit piece of shit who shot it. The sad thing about all this? When I first heard this story on the drive in to work earlier this week, I joked to the better half that the cops shot the dog on purpose so they could then kill another young black man. Why am I not surprised by what happened next?
And here's the real payoff...
Do I even need to answer this one? Here's some more about the framed innocent.
God, Democrats must be glad to have these peons in their back pocket, even if a sliver of them bother to vote. And thank Christ for that.
7 p.m.
• Yeah, baby. I just checked my bank account today and my $1200 tax rebate check got deposited a few days ago. Now I'm going to go and...
...not do a damn thing with it.
8:30 p.m.
• Remember last season when the Pirates TRADED for THIS?
Well, guess what.
Stabilize a young rotation? So that's what the company line is for this? And people wonder why I don't bother with this team. That may change sometime this year if my friend from Ohio visits and wants to take in a Bucs game. Fuck.
9 p.m.
• So today was primary day for the Keystone State. For a registered Republican there wasn't much to do other than nominate a bunch of people running unopposed in local elections. I was thinking of casting a write-in vote for president, or even throwing Ron Paul a bone for kicks, but then I saw that Mike Hickabee is still in the race. McCain for me and Mrs. kkk.
Sadly there weren't any stories to report. No fights with Democrats at the polling place. No nothing. Oh well.
• I think I'm going to side with the docs on this one.
Doctors are busy run late enough as it is -- I don't want to imagine them typing away at some medical issue to a patient. Besides, I'm sure whatever a doctor puts into writing would be red meat for a trial lawyer should something go wrong with said patient.
• Memoirs? How old is she again?
You know, I hate to admit it, but I actually watched part of an episode of "Hannah Montana" while in Buffalo. It wasn't as bad as I thought. The one niece-in-law is a fan of the show, so for the last few years all we have bought for her for holidays and birthdays has been this Montana shit. I can't wait until this phase is over and all that money is wasted.
8:30 p.m.
• For those that frequent the other place. What that hell happened when I was away?
• So Barack Osama said something "clingy" about certain people...
So now Hitlery has pounced on this, and who suffers the most? Me. Because I have to watch shit like this every time my TV is turned on.
What's the difference between Hitlery and Osama on this issue? Osama was dumb enough to say it and have others hear him, even in friendly confines.
• From Smues' neck of the woods. Ever hear of these people?
9 p.m.
• You know, I generally side with so-called smokers' rights. However, I don't blame people for wanting smoking banned at beaches.
The few times I've been to the beach it was disgusting how many cigarette butts were all over the place.
• Man, who did the Rooneys piss off to get a schedule like this?
9 p.m.
• So this past weekend I had to get my driver’s license renewed. Actually, I forgot all about this until I went to rent a car for my recent business trip. The rent-a-car guy took one look at my license and noted that I had a few days before it expired. Oops. This of course meant it was time to go to the DMV. Woo-hoo.
As I entered this public works cornucopia there was the “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” I was number 56. They were serving some number in the low 40s. The time was 10:14 a.m. and the ticket stated that there would be “an estimated 14 minute wait.”
…
At 10:50 a.m. my number was finally called. And the only way I was able to get served so “early” was because a half dozen people didn’t respond when their numbers were up. I think what burns me up the most in these situations is that while it takes other people 20 minutes to perform such feats as check into a hotel, pay for groceries or order stamps at the post office, when I get up to the counter my transaction lasts about 30 seconds. And of course this time was no exception.
An estimated 14-minute wait turned out to be 45 minutes. I sure can’t wait until we get government health care – you think the lines are long now at the doctor’s office. You ain’t seen nothing yet.
Before I leave this entry, I also have to relay the story of the two people sitting behind me who didn’t realize there was a “take ticket here and wait for your number to be called machine.” They sat behind us for a good 20 minutes before realizing that the names being called out were for people who already had their photos taken and were being called up to receive their ID. The fact these people are allowed to vote sometimes scare the hell out of me.
7:30 p.m.
• So on Easter Sunday it was off to the in-laws for lunch/dinner/whatever the hell they did this year. The brother-in-law and his family made their usual trip and it’s funny to observe their kids as they are getting older. However, they (or at least the niece) are still kids in some respects – especially when my mother-in-law made some crack about her cat and how he started getting fat years ago after the vet “chopped his balls off.” The niece then asks, “what’s balls?” OK, I’ll be remembering that one for a while.
• Opening Day was just played?
Well, with that little reminder, it’s time to go up TSM’s resident baseball guru for another round of who knows more about the current state of America’s National Pastime.
Here’s that other person’s selections.
Time for Al kkk-eiper to do his thing:
Baltimore Orioles 66.0 – Over
Florida Marlins 69.0 – Under
Pittsburgh Pirates 70.0 – Over(!)
Kansas City Royals 71.0 – Over
Washington Nationals 72.0 – Over
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 73.0 – Over
San Francisco Giants 73.0 – Under
Oakland Athletics 74.0 – Under
Texas Rangers 75.5 – Under
Minnesota Twins 75.5 – Under
Houston Astros 76.0 – Under
Chicago White Sox 77.0 – Under
Cincinnati Reds 79.0 – Under
St. Louis Cardinals 80.0 – Under
Colorado Rockies 83.0 – Over
San Diego Padres 84.5 – Under
Seattle Mariners 85.0 – Over
Milwaukee Brewers 85.0 – Under
Toronto Blue Jays 85.5 – Over
Arizona Diamondbacks 86.0 – Over
Los Angeles Dodgers 86.5 – Under
Philadelphia Phillies 86.5 – Under
Atlanta Braves 87.0 – Under
Chicago Cubs 89.0 – Under
Cleveland Indians 89.5 – Over
Los Angeles Angels 92.5 – Under
Detroit Tigers 93.0 – Under
New York Yankees 93.5 – Under
New York Mets 94.0 – Under
Boston Red Sox 94.5 – Under
OK, now it’s time to see how the standings will look like:
NL EAST
New York Mets 94.0 – Under
Atlanta Braves 87.0 – Under
Philadelphia Phillies 86.5 – Under
Washington Nationals 72.0 – Over
Florida Marlins 69.0 – Under
NL CENTRAL
Chicago Cubs 89.0 – Under
Milwaukee Brewers 85.0 – Under
St. Louis Cardinals 80.0 – Under
Cincinnati Reds 79.0 – Under
Houston Astros 76.0 – Under
Pittsburgh Pirates 70.0 – Over
NL WEST
Arizona Diamondbacks 86.0 – Over
Los Angeles Dodgers 86.5 – Under
Colorado Rockies 83.0 – Over
San Diego Padres 84.5 – Under
San Francisco Giants 73.0 – Under
AL EAST
Boston Red Sox 94.5 – Under
New York Yankees 93.5 – Under
Toronto Blue Jays 85.5 – Over
Tampa Bay Devil Rays 73.0 – Over
Baltimore Orioles 66.0 – Over
AL CENTRAL
Cleveland Indians 89.5 – Over
Detroit Tigers 93.0 – Under
Chicago White Sox 77.0 – Under
Minnesota Twins 75.5 – Under
Kansas City Royals 71.0 – Over
AL WEST
Los Angeles Angels 92.5 – Under
Seattle Mariners 85.0 – Over
Texas Rangers 75.5 – Under
Oakland Athletics 74.0 – Under
O’righty then. And wtf is up with those “.5” over/under spreads? Only an asshole would do something like that.
10:30 a.m.
• So it looks like courtneywasmurdered is taking his act on the road. (The video clip can be found via the link.)
Well, if it keeps the kids off the streets and out of trouble, then what's the problem? Besides, I'm sure this is all on the up and up.
• There is some sanity -- in Philadelphia of all places.
This isn't like the "White/Coloreds Only" signs that were plasted in this country a generation or two ago. And, if this article is correct, with the ever-increasing immigrant population sprouting up around this business, if the masses are offended they can go to the other cheesesteak place and drive Geno's Steaks out of business.
10:45 p.m.
• So I was feeling a bit down today. I’m not depressed, but the last few days I haven’t been getting much sleep and I’ve been feeling it. So where do I go when I need a quick pick-me-up by observing the underclass in all their glory?
That’s right.
Now there’s this one Wal-Mart that opened up a year or so ago about 15 minutes from me. However, it hasn’t quite been overrun with the typical white and ghetto trash that flock to this cornucopia of commerce. Now the Wal-Mart that’s closer to Shittsburgh and attracts a lot of black people? That’s another story.
I was walking around the store and was on my way out when I noticed this kid – couldn’t be older than 10 or so – in tears and near a full-blown breakdown. Nothing surprising there. This is Wal-Mart. However, I then soon realized that the man in this group was an employee (the lack of a blue vest threw me off) and it seemed that the talk was focused on something that this kid tried to steal.
Uh oh.
The woman in this group was PISSED. I’m not sure if this was the kid’s mother – she could have been a babysitter or counselor – but one thing was for certain: this kid was about to have a really bad day. All I could gather from the passing words I heard was that the woman wanted this kid, dressed in a Silver Surfer t-shirt and blue sweatpants, to get punished to the fullest extent of the law. Oddly enough, the employee just took the item back and that was that. Interesting. Believe me, this woman was not trying to get this kid out of trouble. As they were walking out of the store I followed close behind hoping this woman would unload on this low-grade thief. Sadly, nothing transpired. But you know the most amazing thing of all.
This woman had three children with her – and the lone white kid was the one busted for shoplifting. Then again, I’m sure the two black kids are more seasoned at this sort of thing.
11:30 p.m.
• Oh please Democrats keep this primary fight going. It's funny enough there's talk about disenfranchising voters in Michigan and Florida, but then we get this.
Man, if this is what Osama's Democrat critics are getting hit with, imagine what will become of Republicans when they start questioning the Junior senator from Illinois.
8 p.m.
• Don't you know that bringing in immigrants to a country is one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male?
Wait, I don't know what's funnier -- the pork remark or Muslims offended by another group's "abuse of women"?
I don't know what the big deal is. Those Poles are just doing the jobs Muslims don't want.
8:30 a.m.
• So this article got my interest today in the Shittsburgh Post-Gazette (I picked up the publication’s “early edition” yesterday while filling up the car on the way home from an extra day at work – yes, I’m doing the “work on Saturday” thing again. And I didn’t get this liberal rag because this article was the top-of-fold cover story. I got it because it had $98 worth of coupons.)
Here’s the headline: Rising costs, frugal customers pinch restaurants at both ends
Basically, it’s talking about how it’s HARDER THAN EVER for restaurants to attract customers due to the TERRIBLE ECONOMY. Here were my favorite parts.
OK, I love how vendors are now adding “fuel surcharges.” Just increase your total bill. Will there be a “wheat surcharge” or “dairy surcharge” at pizza shops when vendors increase their prices due to rising costs for these products? No. Then why fuel? Because we can blame BIG OIL and their OBSCENE PROFITS. I’m not saying increased fuel prices don’t hurt a business. One of my biggest fears about increasing gas prices isn’t the extra few dollars I have to pay to put fuel in my car – it’s how increases the price of everything. However, taking this one extra cost of doing business, singling it out and itemizing it is lame.
Here was another golden nugget.
But… but… I thought raising the minimum wage wouldn’t affect anybody or anything. I thought all those “you raise the minimum wage and the people who need these entry-level jobs the most won’t get them” chicken littles were practicing right-wing fear-mongering tactics. Maybe Kings restaurant donated to Bush in the ’04 election. Yeah, that’s it.
And despite all of these obstacles and doom-and-gloom, restaurants still experienced sales growth, albeit at a reduced rate.
4 p.m.
• Yeah, "creative solutions." Read: Rate hike.
• Well, at least the Post Office has this windfall to rely on.
I got my letter yesterday. What's really funny is that people who get this letter and don't read it will then bitch about something or other related to this program in May. And Schmuck Jewmer, what would you like to have on the letter: every name of every Democrat in Congress? For the record, this sort of bitching went on back in '01 when W. got those rebate checks mailed. Personally, I don't think these letters should be mailed. There should be some civic-related requirement, meaning if you don't pay attention to the news and don't know about this give-away then you deserve what you get -- or don't get.
5:15 p.m.
• So if you know a couple who went through a miscarriage, and you actually care about these people, DON’T do the following:
1) Say “Well that means the baby was probably deformed or something.”
2) Mail a Jesus booklet with a headline on the cover that says “You baby is dead.”
Did I tell you who did both things? My mom. And the sad thing is she’s trying to be supportive. I’m not offended or anything, but it’s bad enough when the “baby” or “new parent” free magazines show up in the mail.
Speaking of my mom and the mail, when that dead baby booklet showed up in the mail, there was a letter from the mailman that said I owed 32 cents. My guess is that the dead baby book wasn’t accurately weighed. So I went into the ol’ piggy bank, put in 32 pennies and placed the “IOU” envelope back in the mailbox. But hey, at least the post office figured out the right address this time.
Uh oh.
• I finally got around to watching the “My Big Redneck Wedding” show in which my region was featured. Let’s run down the checklist of what I saw on the program that made me feel right at home:
Pickup truck that’s cleaner than their house? Check.
Steeler jersey? Check.
Lemieux jersey? Check.
Reception held at fire hall? Check.
OK, now here’s what scared me. The groom’s wedding band was purchased at the same place I bought mine. Additionally, Mrs. kkk’s wedding dress and the show’s bride-to-be got both of their garments from the identical location. Hilarious.
5:15 p.m.
• Snow snow I hate snow. Actually, the drive wasn’t that bad home from work today. It took twice as long, but traffic was slow. Eh, whatever. At least we were moving. Funny thing was some jangala Oryctolagus cuniculus coming home from school hit our car with a snowball. It would have been funny to put it in reverse and plow into the herd, but then I’d be charged with a hate crime.
7:30 p.m.
• I don't know how Smues can do it -- I'm already sick of the snow and it hasn't really been all that bad a season (so far).
• Bad break for the Rockets. I've always liked Yao and T-Mac -- even though neither can get out of the first round of the playoffs.
• I have no clue who any of these people are, but Mark Madden said on his radio show today that he didn't like the trades. He follows this stuff much more than I do. All I have to say is that it feels weird for a Pittsburgh team to be active at the trade deadline trying to get talent for the here and now rather than dumping payroll and snagging "prospects."
• Now I really don't care for the Black Crowes, but shouldn't you at least listen to a band's entire album before giving a review?
I remember years ago a local film critic panned Halloween H2O but gave an inaccurate body count because he showed up to the film late. SPOILERZ~! Myers offed a couple kids in the early minutes and the critic made some remark about how so few people died and counted two less dead than there actually was (or whatever the miscount turned out to be). SPOILERZ~! That's all I got for this.
8 p.m.
• So I talked about this show a while back, but tonight I actually got around to watching a few episodes. Oh. My. God.
But the best part was the eHarmony ads during the commercial break of a program which featured a bride with dentures and a groom who spells his beloved's name while peeing on the street.
• I found this in the "odd" story section, but I don't find it strange at all. In fact, I think it's a good idea.
I remember seeing a TV show that talked about this girl raising funds for the local police dogs to wear bullet-proof vests. Hey, these animals are many times the first to run into a skirmish so they should get protection. And if you think I'm being an animal-rights wacko, remember all the money spent training these K-9 cops and that some simple protection could mean the difference between several more years on the job and a quick trip to the big doghouse in the sky. Besides, many police dogs contribute more to society than the trash they're often urged to take down.
8:15 p.m.
• So the better half and I had a bit of a disagreement today. Of course it was serious. Was it over money or family planning? Of course not. We were at Kohl’s going through the clearance racks, and after picking out a pair of pants for 80 percent off retail price and several “spa” things that chicks like that were marked 90 percent off (early Christmas presents – good job, honey), we went to a register to check out. The first casher told us that she was closed, even though she was waiting on another customer. Oh shit, did I miss the “closed” sign. Well, where the hell is it? There? You can’t even see the damn thing. Oh well, not a big deal. I just pride myself in seeing if a register is open before walking up to it. Hell, in baseball you’re an All-Star if you only get out seven of nine plate appearances.
Then we went to the second register. Oh Christ, this guy has about 20 kiddie outfits and the casher doesn’t know how to ring the discounts up. Oh well, there’s no other cashier around so I just have to bide my time. At least when this happens at the grocery store I have the tabloids to keep me occupied. In fact, this past week while waiting for someone to figure out how to self-checkout, I picked up “Star” (I think) and read about how Paris Hilton got kicked off a stage by 50 Cent during some Super Bowl party. The photo alone more than made up for my time waiting. I’ll tell you what though, I’m now realizing how much the Weekly World News meant to me because now most of the magazines by the grocery store registers are aimed at either cooking enthusiasts or teenyboppers. (God only knows what will happen to me if I pick up the latter magazine whose cover teases us with 10 ways to get that cute guy to notice you in math class.) Yeah, there’s the Enquirer or Star, but I hate thumbing through those issues because people might actually think I take that shit seriously. At least when you had Batboy or a public figure next to a UFO landing, it was presumed that this checkout read-through was not meant to be taken seriously.
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
So I was zoning out at this register when someone said the common, “I can help whoever is next in line over here.” Now my policy when it comes to this situation is that if I’m next in the current I just bide my time. I already invested a small chunk of my life standing in this aisle so I might as well follow it through much like someone endures a shitty book or movie. Then there’s the other speed factor: by the time you get your stuff and move over, that “open” register will be occupied. Of course, the people standing behind me in line were telling me to go there and Mrs. kkk grabbed her spa shit and walked over. There was no going back now. What a surprise, there was someone already at the register and she had even MORE shit to scan than the person I was originally standing behind. Well at least the people who encouraged me to change lanes followed and were stuck, too. Fuckers. It’s just like those motorists who give you the “wave” to go ahead at an intersection even though they have the right of way. JUST GO ALREADY! It’s situations like this when an accident occurs. You may have all the best intentions in the world, but you are not controlling the flow of traffic in other lanes. I have the Stop sign, you have the right of way: I’ll wait an extra minute because I know if I pull out in front of you there will be a vehicle speeding in the lane next to you not knowing of my presence because you’re blocking his view.
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
Well, there’s not much more to say. The person who I was originally behind was out the door while I was waiting for the new person in front of me in the new aisle to get her shit and go. I really wasn’t all that annoyed, but one thing that does get me a bit is that when you are in front of someone that takes 5-10 minutes to get a transaction processed it only takes your purchase about 20 seconds. It’s like chipping in for a prostitute, waiting an hour for the guy in front of you to finish his thing and then blowing your load after four thrusts. (Not like that’s ever happened to me before … ohhhh no. Four strokes? Not me.)
…
What the hell was I talking about? Oh, yeah. Kohl’s.
As we were walking to the car, Mrs. kkk was pissed because that lady we were in front of at the newly opened register went ahead of us because we were “next in line.” I disagreed because when it comes to open registers it’s survival of the fittest. We then drove home.
…
I just typed 860+ words on my wait at a checkout aisle and I didn’t get into a fight with a customer, cashier or Mrs. kkk. The hell? Oh well, at least it wasn’t me who had to read through all this. Well I want to leave my adoring readers happy. Hey Ho! Here we go.
Yeah, I know it’s not the “Blitzkrieg Bop,” but I always liked “Judy is a Punk” better, and it’s from 1974. Guess there wasn’t enough in the petty cash account for everyone to have leather jackets (or shirts for that matter).
