So I recently got a Facebook account. Want to link up? PM me your name/e-mail. I have Carnival confirmed so I figure it can't get worse.
10 p.m.
• So I saw the following headline on Drudge: HITWISE INTERNET NEWS RACE: YAHOO OVER CNN.COM... GOOGLE TOPS DRUDGE... MORE...
Oh what the hell, let's give this a shot. I opened it up, and it was a PDF. I looked at the Top 10 News and Media Category Websites Ranked By US Market Share of Visits.
Yahoo! News
The Weather Channel - US
CNN.com
MSNBC
Google News
Drudge Report
Yahoo! Weather
OMG FAUXFox NewsLOL2008~!
The New York Times
People Magazine
I then went to Top Search Terms for News and Media Category. From the PDF file description: "The following report lists the most popular search terms for the 1 week ending 12/13/2008, that resulted in traffic to websites classified by Hitwise within the 'News and Media' industry. For example, the most popular search term was 'cnn' representing 0.69% of all search terms that delivered users to websites classified by Hitwise within the 'News and Media' industry."
Now I wonder why someone puts "CNN" in a search engine when "www.cnn.com" would make more sense, but whatever. Here is the list. Take a gander at what was #19.
cnn
weather
OMG FAUXfox newsLOL2008~!
drudge
drudge report
weather.com
msnbc
weather channel
cnn.com
news
caylee anthony
huffington post
tv guide
noaa
people
accuweather
national weather service
yahoo
jennifer aniston
new york times
• Get used to this. Today a state computer. Tomorrow your home PC (after they take your guns away first, of course). If the speech gestapo ever stumble across this place I'm fucked.
LOL
"State officials were unaware..." Yeah, I'm sure some Alaska public servant is working 40 hours/week going through other people's e-mails. Then again, there probably is an entire department for this. I may stand corrected on this one.
You deserve to get into the playoffs after what you did at 0:12.
And LOL at the player that threw a snowball at 0:07. Also, one of the million reasons Alan Faneca is the man -- peep 0:37.
7:30 p.m.
• Remember when high gas prices were supposed to be BAD? This was from my local liberal fishwrap last week.
STOP THE PRESSES~!!!! You mean to tell me that when you tax an evil money-making company, that evil money-making company passes on the cost to the CONSUMERS? But ... but .... we're supposed to punish the evil money-making companies!
So I guess now when President Hussein raises gasoline taxes, it will be applauded by Medium-Large Media because it's going to fund welfare road construction. Actually, I'm not guessing on this one.
Jesus tap-dancing Christ, when are we NOT in a crisis? Everybody get in their bunkers.
• We could possibly have four NFL teams with double-digit win totals miss the playoffs but have two teams at 8-8 win their respective divisions. Awesome.
• Is anyone really surprised?
Hell, I'm starting to think giving out welfare to individuals might be the better bet. At least they don't pretend to be leeches.
• So I just had a Scott Keith's Biggest Fan moment. In my own house. The better half and I got a camcorder on Black Friday. She’s playing around with the thing and trying to burn her recently film creations to DVDs. I have no motivation to figure it out. Well, here’s a conversation we just had. Figure out who’s who.
“I can’t get this video to appear on the computer. What do I do?”
“I dunno.”
“I want to burn this to a disk. I’m putting in a blank disk and nothing is happening.”
“Are you using a DVD disk?”
“No.”
“You need a DVD disk to burn DVDs.”
“You do?”
It was at this moment that infamous TSM thread popped into my head. I’m dead serious.
I never thought I'd say this again, but you guys really ARE the Party of small(er) government. Of course that's not saying much.
I'm torn. On one hand I'm sure President Hussein could be bracing us for his New Deal/Great Society/Euro-Welfare-State, but on the other hand this could be a great strategy to make future deficits look good. "See, it could have been $1 trillion, but now it's just $700 billion." Mad props, yo. And lol on the "tighter fiscal discipline" crack.
9 p.m.
• So the better half decided to get a hobby and started reading those stupid Twilight books. Vegetarian vampires -- WTF? Since when does drinking animal blood instead of human blood constitute going vegan? Wouldn't a vampire have to drink chlorophyll or something?
Oh there's no way in hell I'm ending today's entry like this. ... OK, here we go.
Over in the draft folder there is a dinosaur draft going on. Now as I've stated before, I was all about the dinos back in the day. Why didn't I take part in this draft? Two reasons. 1) I don't post nearly as often as I once did here, which I guess is a good thing. It's not like I'm helping out in soup kitchens with this "free" time; I'm just wasting my life doing other meaningless things. How the hell did real men that built the foundation of this country do it? Manually constructing railroads, storming Normandy -- yikes. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Dino Draft.
My second reason is that I knew my top lizard would be taken before I had a chance to snatch him up, and I was right. I know it's petty, but there's no way I can participate in any kind of Dino function without my dawg the Triceratops. So, much like my pseudo-basketball draft, I will make my own draft. Unlike the b-ball experience, I'm not going to care if my other dinosaurs were already picked. How many rounds is this draft? Dunno. Let's just go with five.
Round 1: Triceratops.
My n*gga. Two long horns plus the mini third; by far my favorite dinosaur. I'd like to say how many replicas of this guy I had but I can't. No, I'm not embarrassed by the number -- I simply can't remember them all.
Round 2: Styracosaurus
I always liked the fancy horns jetting out from his shell. Not enough to pick him over the Triceratops, though.
Round 3: Monoclonius
The opposite of the Styracosaurus, I think this guy would be bad-ass due to the fact he only had one horn as compared to most of his counterparts and would have a chip on his shoulder.
Round 4: Protoceratops
Now we're going with NO horns. Sure he'd be in trouble with large predators, but his stomping ground was in the desert. In just about every illustration I've seen him in he was always going after scrawny two-legged egg-stealers -- should I be saying "she" instead of "he" in this case?
Are we detecting a trend here?
Those were my four favorite creatures from the Ceratopsian family. I really don't have anyone for the final round. I guess I'll go with another herbivore.
Round 5: Ankylosaurus
As if it isn't obvious that I'm a freak, here's some more evidence. I remember the wall-length poster that Ankylosaurus image is a part of. It was a timeline of sorts showing all the prehistoric eras. Damn was that one big-ass poster.
I'll tell you guys what -- you're sure on the ball. During last week's Steelers/Chargers game, the signal was lost with my Comcast Digital cable service. After a few minutes the signal didn't return. "Eh," I thought, and went upstairs to the television set which has Comcast cable but not Digital cable. So this morning I'm listening to RIGHT-WING RADIO and there's a Direct TV ad that is goofing on Comcast for not being able to broadcast the third quarter of Sunday's game. Great effort, guys. Seriously. I can't imagine the thousands of calls the poor Comcast people received when the game was off the air. I'm positive there were a few service cancellations as a result of this.
8:30 p.m.
• So today the boss was out as was two other full-timers. The new chick who was hired a few weeks ago was going over something with me and made a remark that we were having a three-day weekend. The following conversation took place.
"Huh?"
"We have Monday off."
"No we don't."
"Yes we do. It's in the employee manual."
"No it's not."
"Yes it is." *Shows me her manual that she received upon being hired that says we get MLK day off.*
"The hell?" *Shows her my manual that I received upon being hired that says we don't get MLK day off.*
"Weird."
Ah, office communication. And you want to know the sad thing? I was looking forward to working Monday because the contractor I deal with will be closed, thus giving me a free "catch up" day. But it's all good. It now gives me a chance to get the best view in the house at President Hussein's inauguration.
Brrrr.
Weird. My nipples are hard and I'm really not all that cold.
9:45 p.m.
• Uhhhhhh...
Did I previously post...
What I meant to post was...
Because our new president is going to sink the battleship of economic ruin and emerge from the oceanic depths with welfare stimulus checks for us all. Up periscope, President Hussein!
That ought to cover me for a while. Like maybe four or five seconds...
...I know, I'll just post some of my favorite Offspring songs.
Aw, fuck.
So you retired from coaching to focus on ministry stuff. Best of luck to you, bro. I have always been a huge fan of yours. How much of a fan am I? If Tony was ever to find KK's Korner and read some most all of the stuff I post here, I might actually feel ashamed of myself. ... I said "might."
For as much as a Dungy fan I am, I will say this: He should have been fired from Tampa Bay. I remember when the Bucs got rid of him all the ESPN talking heads, among others in the sports reporting biz, were shouting OMG RACSIM BLAHBLAHBLAH~! Fuck that. It was the right move. Did Tony turn a joke of a franchise into a contender? Yes. Was he able to get this team over that hump to advance in the playoffs? No. Bringing in the asshole-ish Gruden got the Bucs a Super Bowl win in his first year. Of course, that's all he's done, but would you rather have one Super Bowl win or none? And when Dungy was fired, I said to those who would listen (all three of them, and they had no choice because we were all at the same bus stop) that he'd get hired again and all would be right with the world. Turns out I was correct. And now both Dungy and Gruden are unemployed.
Now before you think I just point out my correct predictions, I'll provide equal time for something I was way off base on this past NFL season: I thought Matt Ryan was a poor draft selection for the Falcons. Happy now?
10 p.m.
• So I was flipping through channels today and noticed that CNN is having nine hours of coverage on the "Osama Express;" his choo-choo ride from wherever to D.C. And then I saw some promo for cBS television on "Yes We Can Monday" that featured the cast of "Two-and-a-Half Men" getting that Soviet-style red/blue portrait President Hussein's followers plastered all over the country. Just for shits and giggles, I wonder if I can find this anywhere. Well that only took one Google search, and half a cyber-kettle of tea brewed.
Good Christ. I think I'm going to be playing DVDs and video games Monday.
On a side note, at what age does that kid have to be in order for the show to no longer be called "Two-and-a-Half Men"?
• And here I thought shooting for "Notorious" wrapped up months ago.
Welcome home, guys.
This part made me laugh.
"Reputations?" These guys are going to be idols along the conservative circuit.
From now on, just let the invaders come on in. Hell, it's not like President Hussein and a Democrat Congress are going to try and stifle the tide of illegals from swallowing the Southwest.
When your better half asks how long you intend to keep this up, don't say, "Four to eight years."
8 p.m.
• I guess the day wasn't a total loss.
Yeah, I know. Freeze/froze/blahblahblah.
Yeah, I'm going to embrace what's right. By calling you a no-good race-baiting piece of shit.
Now it's time for the PeTe RoCkKk ReMiX~!!!
Lord, in the memory of all the saints who from their labors rest, and in the joy of a new beginning, we ask you to help us work for that day...
--When Black will not think wedlock births are wack...
--When Brown, after realizing the importance of border security, will not frown...
--When the Red Man will finally own up for letting Euros kick his people's ass several hundred years ago, man...
--When Yellow will stop taking shit from the other groups and start to bellow. Seriously, what is up with you guys? You don't bother anyone, you save your money, you send your kids to good schools, yet the trash surrounding you hates this and tries to keep putting you down. Fuck that... err, where was I? Oh, yeah...
--And when White, upon hearing threats of RACISM~!, will stop reacting in fright.
That all those who do justice and love mercy say Amen, or at least go...
My n*gga.
11 p.m.
• While some may think President Hussein may be able to walk on water, he sure can't walk through windows/doors/walls.
Remember when a certain ex-president made such a flub?
• Boy, it's a good thing Osama didn't pick this former senator to head anything in the Treasury department. That would have been embarrassing.
• If Bruce shouldn't have made a deal somewhere, it should have been with his vetting team. Who WOULDN'T think a deal with Wal-Mart would go over well with the commies he frolics with?
• OK, if you can't see the writing on the wall here, then you deserve to show up to work one day and find the doors locked.
I heard your comment about Bud Selig making $17 million in 2007. Nobody deserves to be paid that much? Don’t worry, I’m sure YOUR BOY President Hussein will make your wish come true. I know you're a commie and all, but you do entertain me on PTI. And to your credit, you do keep your unAmerican comments at bay for the most part.
8:30 p.m.
• So the city of Shittsburgh was involved in some game the other day. I caught a few minutes of it. Here’s some stuff:
1) Great game, but not THE BEST OF ALL TIME. Get a grip, ESPN.
2) The Harrison beat-down that got 15 yards isn’t an eject-worthy offense. Jesus Christ, I’ve seen MUCH worse in terms of beat-downs during punt coverage.
3) Santonio Holmes deserves to be the MVP. Yes, Ben made the throws, but Holmes made the catches. And there were a number of catches that Santonio made during the game that he turned into big plays.
3a) Actually, Kurt Warner should be the MVP of both teams. After all, he had just as many touchdown passes to Steeler players as did Ben.
3b) One of the things I like about Ben is his movement in and out of the pocket. It’s amazing to see him avoid defenders and make a throw. Sometimes the results are disastrous, but no pain no gain. It was interesting to see Ben do what he did all game and then to watch Warner try to do the same thing on Arizona’s final play of the game.
4) The Cardinals beat themselves. They should have won that game.
5) That roughing penalty on Ben Roethlisberger was bullshit. That roughing penalty on the field goal holder later in the drive wasn’t.
6) When the Steelers kicked the second field goal deep in Cardinal territory I knew there was going to be a comeback. If the Cards would have won this game, the decision not to go for the touchdown early in the first quarter was going to haunt Tomlin for quite some time.
7) Holmes' feet were both down on that touchdown catch. And I did get a laugh out of his LeBron impersonation. I’ve heard “why wasn’t that excessive celebration penalty enforced.” I don’t know. Here’s a thought, though. It looked like Holmes’ back was to the field; my guess is that the officials just thought he was going to spike the ball or something mild and thus weren’t paying attention to Santonio’s antics.
8) I still don’t know what’s worse: “One for the OTHER thumblol” or “Six-pack.”
9) Since when did President Hussein become a Steelers fan? Stop sucking Rooney's cock -- the election is over. And for the record, the Cards were actually a Chicago team once upon a time, so you should have been pulling for your relocated loveable losers.
10) Broadway Joe, you can present all the Lombardi trophies you want. I'll always remember you for this:
9 p.m.
• Holy crap. Scott Keith's Biggest Fan is a prophet.
Link.
In today’s editorial titled: "Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard," your editorial board starts out with the following:
Now after a few paragraphs of “blahblahblah” I notice this passage:
Now let’s look at today’s editorial headline one more time.
Drop Dasschole: The health nominee is not up to Osama's standard
I’m curious to know why there isn’t any concern about Osama’s “standard." You even took the time to list the gang President Hussein thought would be ideal to tell us how to lead our lives -- Mr. Holder, Mr. Geithner and Mr. Lynn. How come no "concern" is expressed about Mr. Osama's judgment in people? Oh, yeah. I remember. Because your publication is nothing more than left-wing trash and is in financial dire straits.
At least one good thing has come out from all this. For years you liberal faggots whined about being called "unpatriotic." Well, after having the current vice president tell us that paying taxes is "the patriotic thing to do," I completely understand why President Hussein's posse don't bother to fulfill their civic duties when it comes to filling the public coffers with their hard-earned money.
You're a fighter. Stay on the court for another four, maybe eight years, before stepping down.
10 a.m.
• This is one fucked up story. And don't even bother with the "Big Beaver" jokes. I beat you to the donkey punch. The last sentence is ... well. Just read.
This is too long to type out to make a “comment” when I can milk it for an actual post.
The cats are fine for the most part. We have the two males in one room upstairs and the two females in the other upstairs room. They haven’t been around our cats for the most part because the “Welfare Four” have never been fixed or taken for a vet appointment. We also don’t want them getting into trouble with the various wires around the house as well, so for now they are quarantined.
What’s funny is that the three litter mates (two males/one female) aren’t a problem at all. However, the mother is a pain in the ass. Much like her owner, she’s a whiny cunt that always wants out and constantly scratches the door and cries at the top of her lungs. Every time I hear her it reminds me more and more about the crack-whore niece-in-law. Earlier this week we introduced her to Max, who is always hanging around the two closed rooms. Of course, after a week of trying to get out and interact with the other cats of the house, this little bitch starts growling and hissing. Integrating her with the rest of the group is going to be a joy – while Max just stood there dumbfounded, if she pulls this shit with JJ or Dessa, the result will be different. Ha. Even as I’m typing this, the mother cat (named “Princess”) is swatting her female 8 month-old kitten because she went up and sniffed her. Man, Princess is so much like her owner it’s hilarious. (Guess I could make the comment here that both parties went out and got knocked up.)
Semi-related story. I’m actually amazed that our three cats haven’t been carrying on with the new additions. They HAVE to know something is up, what with the closed doors and meowing. Last night I was cleaning the house and noticed JJ on the living room couch looking outside with his tail puffed out – a sign that something was out there. Sure enough it was another cat. Sure enough I was correct. About 15 minutes later I was cleaning the female’s upstairs room, and in order to do that whenever I went into one room I herded that room’s occupants to the upstairs bathroom. When I did this with the female’s room I kept the door open. JJ came in and looked around. Now even though the scent of foreign cat was in the room, along with a multitude of other “clues,” the first thing he does is go over to the food dish and start eating. No puffy tail. No investigation into the bathroom, which was closed and had meows emanating from the inside. No nothing. Christ is he dense.
So I was watching ESPN today and saw some stupid ad talking about how the Dominican Republic or some other second-tier country that's really good at baseball had an AMAZING RUN in the first-ever WBC. The title of this ad was something like "Great WBC moments." This is the SECOND FUCKING TIME this baseball exhibition has been played. Even the Fu-Schnickens went through two albums before putting out a "greatest hits" CD.
Nice to see you have enough time to go on late-night television and fill out a March Madness bracket -- It's not like you have anything better to do, o' favorite Son of Kenya. On second thought, if this Bread and Circuses routine keeps you distracted for any length of time from implementing your socialist schemes, I'll ask you to fill out a bracket for the remaining NIT rounds. Actually, during the whole Clinton impeachment period, I was all for the process. It wasn't partisan; it was more because it kept Congress and the Prez from doing anything else.
Speaking of which, I need to fill out MY brackkket. Oh who am I kidding? I haven't even posted last year's baseball results from that annual competition I have with that pseudo-baseball expert we have at this place.
I actually did fill out an office bracket earlier this morning. Problem is I don't remember who I picked. I have Memphis winning it all, though. Don't ask why.
6 p.m.
• Before you start saying OMG TAX THE RICH, remember that one day it may be you in the government's cross-hairs. Hell hath no fury like a public official with an ax to grind.
Then why did you do this, you cunt?
And let's also strip the retention bonuses of these people.
And while we're at it, let's have Barney Fwank take a bit out of his account just for shits and giggles.
I haven't really paid attention to your new solo show weeknights on OMGFAUXNEWSLOL2009~! However, when I heard back in February that Gilbert Gottfried was going to be one of your GREAT AMERICAN PANELISTS, I couldn't resist. Finally got around to looking up a clip on YouTube of this segment to replay one of the highlights.
What also made me laugh was George Allen (to the left) then trying to make a serious douchey statement about roids in baseball. You're not running for office anymore. Lighten up for God's sake.
Here's another clip. The first 0:54 pretty much sums up why I don't bother watching these shows on a regular basis. The rest of the clip is why I watched this particular episode.