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New location, same lame blog

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Quick blurbs before I head home for the day

- So the Giants won the Super Bowl. Whatever. I didn't even turn the game on until halfway through the 3rd quarter, but I guess I saw the most important parts of the game. What a spectacular 4th quarter. If you'd offered me a $1,000 bet that ELI MANNING of all people would lead his team 83 yards in just over 2 minutes to win the Super Bowl, well, you'd have $1,000 of my money because I'd have taken that bet.   As for the result of the game, well, it sucks...and yet it doesn't. As a Cowboys fan, I fucking hate the Giants. Plus, I wanted to see the Patriots go 19-0 just because 19-0 is really fucking impressive and will probably never happen again in my lifetime, if ever. On the other hand, neither Randy Moss nor Junior Seau will be getting Super Bowl rings. So I'm torn.   Pitchers and catchers report in a couple of weeks. That's all that matters at this point.     - Tax cuts my ass. After doing a quick estimate of our income taxes this past year, it appears that getting married did nothing for me except reduce the amount of my refund by a little more than half. Of course, total income reported is more than double what it was last year, but still?     - sfaJill is pissed off. We turned in our wedding album to the photographer in September and still have not received the final copy of it despite it being promised to us "no later than January 10." She just called to say that she is on her way over there right now to (presumably) beat the hell out of someone. I told her I'll stop by the bank on my way home to pick up her bail money. She laughed.     - After FOUR MONTHS of discussion, my company's latest "reorganization" has finally been completed. I've been here just over six years and this is the SIXTH official "reorganization" during that time. It's mindboggling.   Anyway, this one has actually affected me because I am being pulled out of my little corporate accounting black hole and switched over to our projects group, which is a total change in job responsibilities--and exactly what I needed.   What's ironic is that the day this was announced was the very same day that I spent some of my time in the early morning browsing the job listings in the paper for the first time in three years.     - sfaJill and I signed up with 24 Hour Fitness over the weekend. I don't want to pay $50 a month for this, but since our gym here at work closed and we have no room in the house for workout equipment it is the best option (especially since I hate jogging and will do damn near anything to avoid it). Our first workout is tonight. Should be fun.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Presidential travel troubles

So it looks like Kucinich is out of the Presidential race. And I was so sure that this was his year, too...   On a related note, during an endless, boring day of "online training" at work last week, I was scanning TSM and noticed a thread called "A Presidential Quiz" on the main forum page under 'last post info' in the CE folder. Thinking this would be a fun little way to test my knowledge of our Chief Executives and/or kill some time, I stepped into the abyss and clicked the link. What did I find? This page, which isn't really a "Presidential quiz" at all.   The results of said quiz and the guy (and I say "guy" because Hillary has no chance) who should get my vote for President this year?   That's fitting--that result is pretty much a perfect summary of how I feel about the Republican field this year.   Incidentally, my "top Dem" was Obama. Of course, when the alternative is Edwards, Hillary, Kucinich, etc., well, that's not really saying much.   ------------------------------   So kkk was forced to get out and about amongst the flying public last week. Reading his entry caused me to reflect on some of my recent air travel experiences. Allow me to reminisce for a moment...   Christmas Day 2007: On our flight home from Kansas City, sfaJill and I witness a guy a few rows in front of us have a mini-meltdown because his GIANT WINTER COAT wouldn't fit in the overhead bin and the flight attendant told him he would have to either check it or hold it in his lap.   April 2007: Moments before our honeymoon flight to Orlando was supposed to take off, we were told that there would be a "slight delay" because some light came on in the cockpit and maintenance had to come check it out. Two hours later, we're still sitting there. And this is after being told that it was not a safety issue and that the problem could be fixed upon landing in Orlando but "someone downtown" wanted to fix it now. So...yea. By the time it was fixed, the later 7:30 flight to Orlando had arrived just prior to our 4:00 flight...   August 2007: On our way to Boston, I am the fortunate winner of the "have a screaming 3-year-old sit in his mom's lap in the seat behind you" sweepstakes. That little bastard was relentless. Three solid hours of whining and crying, all the while his mom just sat there saying "Shhhh!" When we were over Tennessee, I couldn't take it anymore and resorted to the childish act of putting my seat back just to make their flight a little more cramped. Not one of my better moments, I'll admit...   August 2006: Another friend and I are going to Chicago for the weekend. The plane is taxiing down the runway when it suddenly comes to a complete stop. Pilot comes on and says that there is some "congestion" on the runway and that we are 33rd in line to take off, so it will be a while.   What he didn't mention was that it would be an hour and a half and that they would be shutting the engines off while we waited. On an August afternoon. In Houston. Hot times in Texas!   January 2007: I was in Amsterdam waiting to catch my connecting flight to Cairo that was supposed to depart at 8:45 p.m. The weather outside was horrible; winds are blowing ridiculously hard and it's about 35 degrees. I'm tired--I'd arrived from Houston at 7:30 local time that morning and had only slept three hours since waking up in Houston the day before (I can't sleep on planes). 8:45 passes with no call for us to even board the plane. Another hour...then another. All of this time in the terminal is made worse by the fact that all the restaurants/shops closed around 9:30 so I couldn't even walk around and look at anything. Finally, just before midnight we are ready to go.   Wrong.   We had barely pulled away from the gate when the pilot announces that we've got a flat tire and can't take off with that. It will be "10 minutes" to fix it. Five minutes later, he comes back on and says that there's actually two flat tires and it will be more like "one hour" before we are ready to go. Finally, just past 1 in the morning, we depart--a few minutes after we were already supposed to have arrived in Cairo.   I was uncomfortable, tired and very annoyed to say the least (how could no one notice TWO flat tires when they're doing all their loading/inspections of the planes in preparation for our flight??). Even the hot Dutch girl in the seat next to me wasn't enough to distract me and boost my spirits. I felt bad for the driver waiting to pick me up in Cairo though--he had to wait an extra five hours for me.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Birthday crap, Redball's staying

My birthday is a week from today. Hooray. I really haven't cared about my birthday much since I was 18. So last night while watching TV, this conversation happens. I'm sure you can guess who's who:   "What do you want to do for your birthday?"   "I don't know."   "Oh, come on. There's got to be something you want to do."   "I might take the day off work, I guess."   "That's it? You don't want to go eat or do something fun?"   "Like what?"   "I don't know! You decide. It's your birthday!"   "I'll think it over."   *two minutes later*   "Ok, well, what do you WANT for your birthday? I have no idea what to get you."   "Nothing." (note: with sfaJill, 'nothing' is never an acceptable answer to this question)   "What if I got you a pair of fuzzy pink slippers then? You'd be ok with that?"   "Only if you think I really need a pair of fuzzy pink slippers..."   "Well, if you don't tell me what you want, you just might get some then."   "Did you see that Circuit City is offering 36 months of no interest financing on all TV's $999 and up?"   "No. So what?"   "So there you go. That's what I want."   *she thinks this over for moment*   "You want me to buy you a big TV for your birthday?"   "Yes."   "Hmfph. Good luck with that one."   Ah, wedded bliss...   ---------------------   Jason Garrett has apparently turned down both the Falcons and Ravens head coaching jobs and will stay on as Offensive Coordinator in Dallas for at least one more year. Good. After four years of Bill Parcells's conservative style and the overall futility of the offense the five years before that, it was refreshing to see Redball (as he's affectionately known) open the playbook wide open and actually use all of the weapons available to him.   Sure he didn't run the ball enough at times and apparently went insane in the fourth quarter of this last Sunday's loss to the Giants (calling a 65-yard bomb into triple coverage on 3rd & 20 from your own 40 with just over 4 minutes to go when you must score a touchdown and then sending everyone into the endzone against a dime defense on 4th & 11 instead of having one guy run underneath the defense and get the first down when you still had time to spike the ball and run at least one play into the endzone before the game ended is the definition of insanity), but there aren't too many guys I'd rather have running the Cowboys' offense for the near future than Garrett. Good move, Jerry Jones.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

So it's been like a month since I've blogged...

I'm sure at least one person has missed the high-quality posts I churn out here, right? Right?   ...   Hello?   Anybody?   Shit.     Oh well. So what has happened in that month? sfaJill and I went to Kansas City over Christmas for her cousin's wedding (DRAMA~! ensued), I returned to work on Dec. 27 only to go home after three hours because of a NASTY illness that prompted me to wish for death a bit later that same day, 2007 went away (thank God), and the Jack household acquired a new puppy. There was also more work drama that caused me some grief, but that's so par for the course these days that I've stopped caring about it too much.   Here's the highlights:   As I stated, sfaJill and I flew to Kansas City to attend her cousin's wedding on Dec. 22. I was actually excited about the trip because, as a guy who has lived in southeast Texas my whole life and whose family is all in Texas, I've never seen real snow. So when I heard that the KC area was supposed to get a heavy snowfall after we arrived, well, I got excited. Sure enough, about four hours before the wedding, the white stuff started falling, slowly at first and eventually turning into a blizzard heavy enough to prevent a few local family members from attending the wedding. I was delighted. SNOWii   (Side note: I was ecstatic about the snow until I realized I was going to have to drive in the shit.   I wasn't aware of it, but, apparently, as the husband of a bridesmaid, I was eligible to be volunteered for random jobs related to the wedding. It was determined the day of the wedding that I was to chauffer the bride and her accompanying bridesmaids to the spa where they were getting their hair and nails and shit done, sit around and wait until they were finished, and then drive them all to the church (thank God said spa was in the middle of a shopping center that had both a Borders and a GameStop within it). By the time they were ready to go, a solid sheet of white had covered the ground, meaning my first snow driving experience would be with the added pressure of having a nervous bride on her way to her wedding in the car. Nothing bad happened--so it's all good--but when you have zero experience with snow and that black ice shit all over the road, well, it is a little unnerving.)   The drama of the weekend came later that night, after the wedding. As we would learn the next morning, upon arriving at her room for the night, the bride discovered that the nearly $300 in cash she had had in her purse earlier that day was missing. She conferred with her sister and discovered that $60 was missing from her purse and one of the bridesmaids noticed that her purse was cleaned out as well. It was determined that someone had stolen it during the ceremony from their purses, which were left unattended down in the bridal room.   The problem? sfaJill, her sister, and the groom's sister (yet another bridesmaid) didn't have any money stolen from their purses.   This led to sfaJill's brother being accused of the crime. The theory was that he had the opportunity (someone said they heard him say he was "going to the bathroom"--just down the hall from the bridal room--just before the ceremony started) and a motive (needed money to buy more weed, which he does smoke from time to time); the fact that he was arrested last year for having beer in the trunk of his car when he was only 20 years old is further proof of his being a ruthless criminal. Also, there is supposedly a tape that shows he was the last one to come back up the stairs, but no one but the bride and her parents have seen that tape so who knows.   Well, once THAT little accusation came out, all hell broke loose. sfaJill was livid (if there is one thing you don't do in her presence, it's talk shit about her family). Her parents were livid. Lots of ugly words were exchanged from all sides, and the entire rest of the trip was just an ugly, drama-filled mess that has cooled off only slightly since. What fun. God bless family.     On a happier note, we got a new puppy. sfaJill's one aunt is a breeder and gave us one that she won't be able to sell because of a double-jointed front leg. He's a Siberian Husky that we've decided to name Wrigley. sfaJill's cat is less than happy about the dog's arrival.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

6
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The NFL v. Comcast

Oh, yes. This is EXACTLY the sort of stuff I love to see the Texas Legislature get involved with...   Link     I have Comcast. I can get NFL Network if I want. I choose not to. Why? Because I don't think it's worth paying $7.95 a month for what amounts to eight (mostly crappy) regular season games and expanded combine/draft coverage (something we already get enough of thanks to ESPN and the bajillion draft websites that exist).   Would I watch the NFL Network if it were on basic cable? Yeah, probably, at least from time to time. Do I want the cable companies to be forced to put NFL Network on their basic packages, thus causing my cable bill to go up a couple of dollars a month? Hell no. Do the thousands of people that have no interest in the NFL at all want to pay that extra couple dollars a month? Definitely not.   There is no way that Comcast and their money-grubbing brethren should be forced to carry the NFL Network on their basic package. Not when the NFL wants an insane $0.70 per subscriber from the cable companies (more than CNN charges) that would just raise everyone's rates, and definitely not when there is no overwhelming public demand for the NFL Network. If that tide shifts one day and the public is suddenly in favor of the NFL Network being widely available, sure, bring it on. Until that happens though, keep the NFL Network exactly where it is. As with nearly everything else in this country, the market will dictate what should happen. Certainly there shouldn't be any legislation on this under any circumstance.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

$5 strippers

Well, not exactly. The strippers aren't $5, but it might cost you that to see some boobies:   Link   Huzzah, I guess. I don't remember hearing of this latest sneaky attempt by our state Legislature to increase sin taxes (again), but, much like per pack cigarette taxes, I don't care too much since I don't go to strip clubs and thus am not affected by it. And, frankly, anything that might help prevent taxes I actually do pay from rising is fine with me.   The problem is that, of course, the government will win the suit, collect this tax, completely waste the money, and then find a new way to tax everyone anyway. So, uh, go strip clubs! Stick it to the man!   My favorite part of the article is this:     One of my favorites (behind "seperation of church and state" and "RAYCISM~!"): the "FREE SPEECH VIOLATION" card.   I know some commie judge will agree with this and overturn the law, but how much of a restriction of free speech is this? The government is not banning strip clubs or imposing more "5 feet away" rules--it's just requiring a $5 cover charge to get in the club. Debate all you want on whether it's fair to levy the fee or not, but I don't get how it's a free speech infringement.    
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

The customer is always right

mole started a thread about some con artist that tried to get their hands on a free GPS thingy that seems to have turned into yet another “retail horror stories” thread. Reading it made me reminisce about my days working in a grocery store deli/bakery back in college—the one and only job I’ve ever worked where interacting with dumbass customers is/was an integral part of the job—and, since I only bring interesting, hard-hitting content to this blog, here are a few of my fondest memories of that job, presented in no particular order, in a countdown format.   The year was 1999…   #3 The store was understaffed on an unusually busy day, so the courtesy booth clerk and assistant manager were forced into checker/bagging duty, making it our job in the bakery/deli to answer the store’s phone. I was the lucky one to answer this call:   “Good afternoon, thanks for calling Brookshire Bros. How can I help you today?”   “Uh, yeah…I’ve got a question for you.”   “Ok.”   “Are ya’ll still gonna sell gas after Y2K? ‘Cuz, uh, you know, I hear there won’t be gas and stuff like that.”   “Yes, sir, I imagine we will.”   “Oh. Well, ok. That’s good.”   *click*     #2 One week, there was an unadvertised sale of 8-piece fried chicken dinners for $2.99 (insert joke here). Or at least it was supposed to be unadvertised—when the weekly circular ad ran in the paper that Sunday, the 8-piece deal was listed. Problem was that, since it was supposed to be unadvertised, our manager had only ordered a bit more than our usual amount of raw chicken for the first part of the week.   I’m sure you can guess what happened. By early Tuesday afternoon, we ran out of chicken. This was bad news for me since I worked the evening shift.   So this one bluehair comes in around 5:00 or so and, of course, asks for the special. I launched into the same “I’m sorry; we don’t have any more chicken” speech I’d already given 35 times in the past 3 hours. This was incomprehensible to her.   “But your ad says you have chicken meals for $3.”   “I know, ma’am. But we are completely out of fried chicken.”   “So if you don’t sell chicken, why do have chicken on sale in the paper?”   “No, ma’am. We do sell fried chicken. We just don’t have any in stock at the moment.”   …   (points to the rotisserie chickens) “But isn’t that a chicken right there?”   “Yes ma’am, but that is a rotisserie chicken. It’s not on sale.”   “So which chicken is on sale then?”   “The fried chicken.”   “But I can’t buy any?”   “No, because we don’t have any in the store.”   …   “I don’t understand why I can’t buy that chicken right there.”   “You can buy it. But it’s not on sale.”   “I can’t buy that chicken for $3?”   “No.”   “Well, I just don’t think that’s right.”   And just like that she was gone.     #1 It was a normal Saturday afternoon. I had been mostly working the meat slicer that afternoon, but thanks to my coworker’s impeccable timing, he went on break just minutes before a big, angry guy came into storming over to our counter, carrying a bag of our fried chicken. He put the bag on the counter and said, “I need a refund.”   “Ok, sir. What’s the problem?”   “This chicken ain’t cooked, man. It’s all raw.”   “Alright, well, I apologize for that. I can definitely help you out. Would you just like another bag of chicken instead?”   “Nah…I just want my money back.”   “Ok. Give me just one moment.” I took the bag and looked inside to see if the chicken was actually raw. What did I find inside?   A pile of chicken bones, stripped almost completely clean.   After a double-take, I spoke up. “Sir, did you eat this chicken?”   “Well, yeah, man. How the hell do you think I know it ain’t cooked?”   “So…wait a minute. You ate this chicken, even though it was raw?”   “Uh, yeah.”   “I can’t give you a refund.”   “Why not?”   “Because you ate the chicken!”   He protested again and asked that I call for the manager, which I was more than happy to do. The manager, who wasn’t all that sympathetic to customers’ problems to begin with, listened to my recap of the story, took one look in the bag and told the guy that not only would he not be receiving a refund but that he was not to order chicken or anything else from our bakery/deli or bother any of his store’s staff with anything else ever again. After bowing up and trying to look intimidating, the big guy declared this to be “shitty customer service” before leaving rather quietly.
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Awkward company parties

So sfaJill's company's Chirstmas Holiday Party was last night at the fabulous Houstonian Hotel. This is the third one of these things that we've attended (although this is the first one at her new company) and I absolutely hate them because, for me, it's four hours of standing faithfully by her side, making small talk and cracking terrible jokes to a bunch people I've either never met or only see once a year at these parties (and thus don't remember their names anyway). Not exactly a good situation for me, given my general lack of ability to socialize.   Toss in the guarded tension in the air (as in people always seem to be reluctant to cut loose and say and act they way they really want to out of fear of harming their career by offending either the boss or one of the affirmative action hires) and the usual office cliques still being in effect and it's usually a pretty awkward situation. Last night's gathering also featured a balcony where all the smokers spent most of their time and, since I am allergic to cigarette smoke, sfaJill and I spent a lot of time sitting at our table entertaining each other because she was afraid to leave me by myself out of fear I would have a totally miserable time (as opposed to the semi-miserable time I ended up having).   The comedy highlight of the nights were these:   - The little DJ they hired. Dude had so many problems with songs either cutting off or skipping uncontrollably that, at one point, one of the drunk guys in the back (it was open bar) yelled, "Great job with the music man! YOU ROCK!" I do have to give the DJ a little credit though--any guy that can seamlessly merge "Stayin' Alive" into George Strait's "I Cross My Heart" has to have some mad skillz.   - sfaJill's boss. Dude is from deep Louisiana Cajun country, which is almost enough entertainment by itself. However, last night, he was wielding a camera and insisted on taking several pictures of damn near everyone in the place, including a couple with me, sfaJill, and...a couple of the other office females sitting my lap. Maybe you had to be there, but the way he basically ordered them all to just have a seat and smile big while sfaJill just sat there with a WTF look on her face was priceless.   Oh well. At least that's over for another year. Now I just have to get through another party next Saturday night, this time at the home of one of her coworkers. I've been told to be ready for a few "party games." Oh, God...   On Dec. 22, my company is hosting their first "official" company Christmas party in nine years at the Hilton downtown. Fortunately, we won't be attending. We have to go to Kansas City for sfaJill's cousin's wedding, which is the same night. Oh, damn the luck. sfaJill is really annoyed by this though, because I've been at my place of employment for over six years now and, because I do NOT hang out with any of them outside of work, the only time she's ever met any of my coworkers was back in September at my Mom's funeral when four of them showed up (and that wasn't exactly a social occassion). She claims she is dying to meet those people because she can "finally put a face to the names you come home bitching about" but I think she just wants to see if I have any hot female coworkers she can get jealous about. I don't know. I told her it's just as well we have to be in KC that night because I probably wouldn't go to the party anyway.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Thanksgiving fallout

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone and what a glorious day it was. The Cowboys rolled over the Jets, the temperature outside FINALLY dropped out of the 80's around here, and I enjoyed a tremendous Thanksgiving sirloin at Benigan's (the only thing open in Dallas on Turkey Day, besides IHOP, which sucks). What about all the family stuff? Well...   At the last moment Thursday morning, sfaJill decided that she'd rather go with me and my dad to Dallas to watch the Cowboys than to her sister's house to hang out with that clan. Her reasoning was some crap about being together on our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife, but I think she just didn't want to deal with all the potential drama I wrote about last time. The plan was for us to go to the game and then hook up with her family upon getting back to Houston on Friday, which sounds easy enough.   So Friday morning rolls around; her dad calls about 10:30 to find that we're still a few miles north of Houston's far northern suburbs. Plans are made for us to go home, get unpacked and call them back when we're ready to meet up (note: it took sfaJill nearly 15 minutes on the phone to decide THAT because God forbid anybody on her side make a decision about anything ever). Whatever. We've still got nearly an hour's drive to get home.   Around noon, after we've gotten home and my dad has headed off to work, sfaJill and I are ready. She calls her dad back and thus begins another 20 minutes of that world-famous game "where do you want to eat?" The choices are finally narrowed down to Golden Corral (which is awesome) and this Chinese buffet near the house (which is also awesome), so, really, we can't lose either way. After some back and forth crap on the subject, I'm asked for my "opinion" (translation: nobody wants to decide everyone else's fate so they're going to try to get me to do it); I reply that since I had just eaten breakfast a few hours earlier, I'm not really hungry and thus don't really care where we go since I probably won't eat much either way (which actually was true). That frustrates sfaJill to no end, but it is somehow finally decided that Golden Corral is the choice.   Not five minutes later, while sfaJill is still running around the house frantically searching for a hair brush to toss in her purse, the phone rings. I answer. It's my father-in-law.   "Hello, Jack."   "Hey, Martin."   "We've got a change of plans."   "Oh?"   "Yeah, your mother-in-law wants to go to the Chinese place instead."   Sigh. I swear...   So, anyway, we all meet up at the Chinese place to find her dad, mom, brother, and 3-year-old nephew. No sign of sister or brother-in-law. We were told they didn't want to come. Good. That made the lunch actually kind of enjoyable because there is always less tension without sister there. Father-in-law even pcks up the check (score!).   It was going really well...and then sfaJill invited everyone over to our house for the afternoon. The problem? They're not allowed to bring the nephew to our house, says mother-in-law. Apparently, sister has decided that since we had such a problem with his behavior the last time he was there that it's best if he just not go over to our house anymore. Thus, my in-laws are afraid of taking him here, out of fear he will mention to mommy that he was at Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill's house and then they will catch hell about it.   (I should note that the "problem" with nephew's behavior last time was that he kept pulling cushions off our couches, jumping all over them/throwing them everywhere , and then didn't put them back on the couches after both sfaJill and I told him to stop. Sister wrote that off as "He's three! What, you think he can sit still for 10 minutes?" and after I told her "Uh, yeah" and sfaJill backed me up, sister's been "punishing" us for it ever since. This happened back in June, by the way.)   sfaJill was PISSED.   We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Sam's Club in an effort to spend some quality time together, but I wouldn't call it that. sfaJill and her mom did nothing but bitch about sister the whole time, which just made everyone but the kid unhappy. It was a long day that ended with an invitation (from the in-laws) to us to come to sister's house today for something called "turkey pie." I have no idea what that is. sfaJill said she doesn't want to go if she's not welcome there, to which her dad said "Well, I'M welcoming you". So, I think we're gonna go. Should be awkward silences for everyone!   Yesterday was not a total waste though. I did find 7lbs of 90% lean ground beef for $16 at Sam's Club yesterday. Can't pass up a deal like that.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Thanksgiving: avoiding in-laws and watching football

I wandered around the floor here a few minutes ago and counted 15 people. In my group, there are exactly two of us here (out of 11). That raises the question: is everyone else lazy or am I an even bigger sap than I realize?   Probably the latter. Oh well. At least I've gotten a lot of work done today. No coworkers = no obnoxious noise, which makes me happier and more productive.   The only downside is that now I'm going to be watching the clock as it is customary for management to dismiss us a few hours early today. That usually happens around 1:00, which is 25 minutes away. It will seem like an eternity...   -------------------------------   So Thanksgiving is tomorrow. That will make for a nice four-day weekend. Yay. sfaJill's family will be gathering at her sister's house tomorrow for the traditional Thanksgiving crap. I'll bet $100 that this gathering will include her brother and mom yelling at each other about whatever his girlfriend has done lately to piss mom off, sfaJill's sister continuing to give sfaJill the silent treatment over some shit that I said/did three months ago regarding their son, and my brother-in-law's mom pissing everyone else off just because she's a total bitch and that is her specialty.   Fortunately, thanks to the magic of the Cowboys playing their usual Thanksgiving Day game, I will be 250 miles away, basking in the glow of what should be an easy win over the Jets. Thank you, Cowboys. Thank you. I will have to listen to a phone call from an exacerbated sfaJill later that night during which she will declare that's she tired of their "bullshit" and is THIS CLOSE to cutting them out of her life, but that is a small price to pay for getting out of sitting through all the fun.   So, in the spirit of celebrating Thanksgiving, all of its excesses, and football, I'm going to steal an idea from kkk and post my picks for this week's games. The difference is that I'll pick them straight-up because, well, it's easier.   Green Bay @ Detroit I'm taking the Packers, but I hope the Lions can pull one out here because that would mean the Cowboys would effectively have a three-game lead on the Pack in the race for home-field after they beat Green Bay next week.   N.Y. Jets @ Dallas Cowboys were flat against the Skins last Sunday, which is to be expected after two huge road wins over Philly and the Giants. That will not happen again. Cowboys by 17.   Indianapolis @ Atlanta Injuries or not, the Colts should kill them. Joey Harrington sucks, yes, but Byron Leftwich has been even worse this year.   Buffalo @ Jacksonville I actually think Jacksonville has a chance to mess with the Patriots in January, if Mike Peterson gets well and Garrard can have a really good game.   Denver @ Chicago What a horrible game. Denver is like three last second field goals from being 2-8 and the Bears just suck. Bears to win, but only because they're at home.   Houston @ Cleveland Texan fans, who are desperate for ANYTHING resembling mediocrity, are whispering about possibly grabbing that second wild card. Well, that train gets derailed this week.   Minnesota @ N.Y. Giants Just a hunch here. I just can't believe in the Giants (and no, it isn't just because they're a rival for the 'Boys). They've beaten exactly nobody of note, unless you count beating the Lions on the road as a "somebody." And I don't.   New Orleans @ Carolina I'm only picking the Saints because the Panthers seem incapable of doing anything right.   Oakland @ Kansas City If JaMarcus Russell doesn't get at least a few snaps this week, Lane Kiffin should be fired.   Seattle @ St. Louis Seattle isn't very good, but they will be good enough to beat the Rams.   Tennessee @ Cincinnati I don't care how much VY sucks, I'm not picking the Bengals again this year. They've screwed me over many times already.   Washington @ Tampa Bay Just because Washington can go to Hell.   San Francisco @ Arizona Let's go Cardinals! Time for somebody other than Seattle to rule the West. That and the Niners are really, really horrible.   Baltimore @ San Diego I'm picking the Chargers, but I'm secretly hoping the Ravens blow them out so that (hopefully) LT will start to become so angry about having to play for Norv Turner that he demands a trade to Dallas so he can come home and lead the 'Boys to another Super Bowl next year. Hey, Dallas does have an extra #1 to offer...   Philadelphia @ New England Won't even be close. No comment necessary.   Miami @ Pittsburgh Ditto. The Steelers should be good and angry after getting slapped by the Jets.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

PC Santas, raining on our moving parade

Well, at least this latest example of ridiculous PC bullshit isn't happening in America.   Yet.   Link     -----------------------------   So how did the second part of helping my brother move go this past weekend?   Since the heavy furniture was already gone, it was mostly boxes left to move. Boxes are always easier, especially when you have the help of a dolly. There was a still a little too much disorganization, in that the kitchen hadn't been packed at all and the few remaining furniture pieces still had stuff in them and thus couldn't be moved without having to be cleaned out first, but, to my great surprise, it was a pretty easy day.   Well, unless you factor in these events:   - sfaJill wanting to kill my sister-in-law, who, for the second week in a row, perfected the art of sitting on her ass doing nothing all day (using the excuse of "I'm watching the kid") while sfaJill packed box after box of crap in the kitchen. (Note: sfaJill found no less than NINE crock pots in the one cabinet).   - Despite a few menacing clouds earlier in the morning, the rain held off and the sky cleared...right until brother and I were making a run to the storage unit to drop off the first load of crap. At that point the heavens opened completely, dumping an insane amount of rain on us for 5-10 minutes. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that we hadn't covered anything (because there were no rain clouds at the house!), so every box and piece of furniture we had packed was left completely soaked. Among the wreckage was the queen sized pillowtop mattress they paid $700 for just last year...   - I got into a fender bender on the drive over Saturday morning, leaving my truck with a busted turn signal and an estimate of $2,500 to replace the bumper and fix the dent in the hood. Fucking people who don't use turn signals...
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Putting swimsuit models on blast

Because sfaJill has moved into the next phase of our her home renovation process--a phase that requires us to buy all new towels for our bathroom (in colors that are almost exactly the same as what we currently have)--we spent yesterday morning at JC Penney. They were having a Veterans' Sale and, between that sale and the coupons we'd saved, we could get these towels at just more than 50% off. Score.   The highlight of the trip for me came later though, when we stopped in at Barnes & Noble to browse around for a bit. I was thumbing through some book about the Cowboys on the bargain table; sfaJill walked over, curious about what I was reading, when she noticed that on the table next to the Cowboys book was the Sports Illustrated "painted on" swimsuit book. No joking--she picked it up and spent the next 20 minutes dissecting each picture inside with such constructive remarks as "Oh, God how slutty is she?" and "Whore" and "Wow, look at that--another nipple!"   I have no idea if she did it solely for my benefit or not (I suspect not--she's very much the jealous type), but it was fucking hilarious.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Weekend wrap-up

Anybody show up for work/school an hour early today? If you did, you're a retard...   -----------------------------   I think the Patriots and Colts played a football game of some importance yesterday that apparently lived up to the hype. I can't be sure of this though as those of us in the Houston TV market were not allowed to see the game thanks to existence of the Houston Texans. Because of them, we were stuck with the scintillating Texans-Raiders contest which was, um, not as good as the Pats-Colts game.   Fortunately, I did not have to suffer through that game because, on Thursday, my brother called and asked if I would come out to his place on Sunday and help him move some furniture. They are building a house and will be moving in (hopefully) shortly before Christmas and I had promised him about six weeks ago that I would help once their current house sold. Well, this past week, they accepted a cash offer for their current house. That's the good news.   The bad news is that, in order for the deal to go through, they have to be completely moved out by the 12th of this month.   So when sfaJill and I show up yesterday ready to go, what do we find? Chaos. Nothing in the house has been packed and clothes are strewn about all over the place; if you didn't know they had sold the place, you'd have no idea they were moving. We spent two hours just clearing drawers and shelves of stuff so we could move it all the storage place.   Then, after we FINALLY get a load of furniture onto the trailer and make a run to the storage place, it is revealed that the unit they have rented is only 5' X 12' in size. Can you guess what happens next? Yep, we don't have enough room to fit the stuff we brought with us in there, much less the rest of the stuff still at the house.   They're supposed to call about renting another (bigger) unit today and I've been asked to go back out there Saturday to complete Phase Two of this big move. Brother is on notice that if they haven't finished packing up all their crap enough to where all we have to do is load up boxes and the remaining into the trailer, I'm walking. We'll see what happens.   Ah, family. Too bad you can't pick 'em.   -----------------------------   Friday night, I was suffering from a fairly severe case of insomnia. Bored and desperate for something to watch, I chose RV, which was running on Encore. What a mistake. Somebody get Robin Williams back on coke, stat.   The only redeeming thing about this movie is Kristin Chenoweth. Between this show and Pushing Daisies, I have developed quite the little crush on her.   -----------------------------   Election Day tomorrow for us Texans. It's expected that no more than 15% of voters will turn out statewide. I'm sure the other 85% will bitch incessantly about whatever the result is though.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Trick or treat!

Halloween has come and gone again. Yea, I guess. I haven't been excited about Halloween for at least 15 years. sfaJill, however, is a BIG Halloween fan and really enjoys putting on a costume and greeting all the little monsters that knock on the door. Consequently, I spent half this last weekend helping decorate the front porch in a spider theme (i.e. cobweb, black lights, some glow-in-the-dark wall covering, etc) and standing in the candy section at Wal-Mart waiting for her to decide which is the best kind of candy to buy (my argument: who gives a shit? It's free; if the kids want to bitch about free candy, they don't have to come back next year).   Last night, sfaJill handled 95% of the trick-or-treat duty, meaning I bothered to get up out of my chair only two or three times when there was a knock at the door. Of course, after having a few kids walk right past our house without stopping, sfaJill was convinced that they didn't know we were offering candy (because, according to her, the house wasn't all lit up like a Christmas tree so it didn't look inviting and/or because there was nobody sitting outside waiting with a big dish of candy like many of the neighbors were) and decided to setup a camp on the front porch so that nobody would miss our house.   Since I had no interest in sitting outside getting bit by bugs, I retreated to my office in the house and popped in Freddy vs. Jason (yeah, I know it's a crappy movie, but I just chose a slasher at random) and waited for the end of the night. It was nearly 9:00 before she declared the night to be over and came in. I'm told Spiderman was the most popular boys' costume and Disney princesses were the most popular for girls. Sounds about right, but I'm disappointed nobody decked their kid out in this.   It's weird; every year I always hear a few folks lamenting how trick-or-treating is a dying tradition. I don't buy it. After a slow start, there were so many kids running through our neighborhood that it looked like a locust plague. I don't know. Maybe our neighborhood is the exception to the rule.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Is renting an apartment to a Muslim...

...the worst thing you can do to them?   sfaJill has a friend who used to work as an apartment manger. The friend still keeps in touch with a couple of people there and recently learned of this story that happened:   A Muslim couple came in looking for a place and were told that only one apartment was available at that moment. They wanted to see it, so the leasing agent took them out for a tour of it. Immediately upon arriving at the apartment for a look around, the couple got angry. Why? Because the apartment for rent was #911.   They were apparently very insistent that this would not be acceptable because "people here will think we are terrorists" and the other tenants would make their lives "miserable" if two Muslims moved into apartment #911.   Oh, how I love our overly sensitive society.   ---------------------------   In other news, it looks like the latest plan to renovate the Astrodome is dead.     Since the Astros left for Minute Maid Park in 2000 and the Houston Rodeo moved to Reliant Stadium in 2003, the Dome has basically been sitting there collecting dust, save for the occasional high school football playoff game. The final scene of that Friday Night Lights movie was filmed there a couple of years ago. And, of course, we all remember the Dome's last bit of infamy back in 2005 when George W. Bush had all those Katrina refugees locked inside, hoping they would all suffocate in a pile of their own waste.   There has been much talk about what to do with the Dome. One proposal was to turn it into an indoor track and field arena; that coincided with Houston's ill-fated attempt to land the 2012 Summer Olympics. Another was to turn it into a huge parking garage to alleviate the parking issues at Reliant Stadium, but I think somebody figured out that that would be nothing but a giant cardon monoxide death chamber. Still another would have turned it into a "world class" hotel/casino, the sole purpose of which (as proposed) would be to stop Texas gamblers from driving a few hours to the boats in Louisiana.   Thankfully, all of those proposals died. In addition to being idiotic, they would have required tax money to fund and Harris County has already spent over $1 billion on stadiums in the last 10 years; I don't think we need more. Especially for a building that is rapidly turning into ugly, purposeless eyesores in an unattractive part of town. Just tear down the Dome and be done with it, please. Nobody cares about its historical value, and visitors are no longer wowed by it, given the fancier playpens built elsewhere over the years. Please...just let it go so we can stop talking about it. It's for the best.      
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Dirty old man

A semi-humorous bit from this morning. I have to admit, occasionally, the people here can bring some entertainment.   There's this older guy here at the office that, according to a couple of my female coworkers, is a dirty old man. About the only things I know about him are, his name, the fact that he's worked here for over 30 years, and that his daughter just squirted out another kid (I know this because they had a cake party here to honor that glorious occassion a few months back). I really only speak to him when we exchange greetings when passing each other in the halls, so I've never seen this dirty side of him, but whatever.   So I'm at the copy machine this morning when he walks in. After exchanging our usual greeting, he starts this off:   "Man, sometimes I wish I was 25 again." "Really? Why's that?" "Have you seen that new chick in Billing? Lauren?" "Yeah, I've seen her." "She was over here earlier, getting water. Doing something with these people over here. Man...WOW."   (NOTE: Lauren is not that hot. There's nothing wrong with her, but she's not even close to being the hottest chick at this place.)   I continued: "She always looks angry to me. Like she'd be a total bitch about everything." "Yeah. But don't you think that's kind of hot?" "Depends." "Well, either way, I'd like to get some of that anger out of her. I know that." "Uh huh..." "You know what I mean, right?" *sighing* "Of course." "So yeah...you know."   I guess his reputation is well-earned.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

All for one and one for...me

Inspired by kkk's latest bout of wedded bliss, here's one that happened yesterday afternoon:   (I'm in the kitchen eating one of those "fun size" 3 Musketeers bars when sfaJill walks in) "What are you eating?" "3 Musketeers." (flabbergasted) "Where'd you get that??" "From the bag in the pantry." "What bag in the pantry?" "The bag of 3 Musketeers on the second shelf in there." "I didn't know they where in there. When did we get those?" "Wednesday. I picked them up at Kroger. Remember when I stopped to grab that chicken on the way home from work that day?" "I can't believe you hid them from me." "I didn't hide them from you. They were on the freaking shelf in the pantry." "Well, you didn't tell me they were in there. You know I never look in there!!" "No, but I also didn't tell you that I bought some more milk that day, too." (pause) "Well, you know I love 3 Musketeers and you didn't tell me you bought some. You hid them so you could have them all to yourself." "Uh...yep. That's it."   She stomed off to our bedroom and slammed the door. I just went outside for a while and, when I came back in, she apologized and said that she didn't know what was wrong with her or why she was getting pissed off about "stupid stuff." I just told her it's part of that whole "being a chick" thing. Surprisingly, she didn't smack my arm.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Painted into a corner

Nope, this entry has nothing to do with the painting going on at my residence right now. Rather, there is controversy in Farmers Branch again. You might remember that Farmers Branch is the little community south of Dallas that recently tried to pass a city ordinance that would ban the rental of apartments to illegal aliens.   Story     Let me start by stating that I don't like homeowners associations. I understand why they exist and I acknowledge that they can be useful in some instances. But, usually, it's just a bunch of obsessive-compulsive types who nitpick over a lot of stupid, little shit that really has zero effect on property values either because they have nothing better to do or because they enjoy bossing others around a little too much. I especially detest the idea that someone else can dictate to me what I can and cannot do with property that I own, espeically when it's a non-government entity telling me to do so. My neighborhood has a HOA, but I deal with it because it's practically impossible to find a Houston suburb that doesn't have one and I do not wish to move back into the city.   This story is a little different because it would be a government dicating what is and what is not acceptable, but the same principle applies: don't tell private property owners what they can and cannot do with their own property.   "Some residents." What does that mean? According to the article:     So a whole two residents ask the council, who has not said they will act on it, to ban some exterior colors and it's portrayed as some sort of community-wide referendum on the matter? Fine journalistic work, indeed.     LOL. Now that's a racist statement. Who paints their house tropical colors? Someone who likes the tropics? Someone who wants to be reminded of their vacation? Someone who just happens to like tropical colors? What exactly is a "tropical color" anyway?   What better way to accuse someone of profiling a group than to profile that same group yourself.   Besides, there are plenty of white people that have awful decorating taste and would paint their houses ridiculous colors if they were allowed. I don't see a racial angle to this at all. Just another example of someone wanting to be angry about something.   This argument is used a lot, but no proof that it's true is ever offered. Besides, anyone who won't buy a house because there is another house nearby painted in an "unsightly" manner is probably someone you don't want in the neighborhood anyway because there's a good chance they'd be the stereotypical nightmare of a neighbor.   As with all things in the U.S., the free market will ultimately determine what your property is really worth. All the mowing and beige paint in the world isn't going to save your property value from a downturn in the housing market, nor is it going to suddenly turn a shitty area of town into a property hotbed. If you maintain and clean your own property, your house will sell just fine in any market.   I wish someone that lived in these folks' neighborhood would paint their vehicle an outlandish color, park it in front of their house every day, and see how long it takes for their heads explode.    
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Home Makeover: Jack Edition

Another reason for me to be upset about the Cubs' getting bounced from the playoffs this past Saturday night:   I (stupidly) had promised sfaJill that, after the Cubs had completed their World Series run, we would begin work on painting and re-doing our guest bathroom (sans the bubble towels we she registered for but didn't get as a wedding gift) before moving on to the rest of the house. Barely three hours after the Cubs lost on Saturday, she turns to me and says, "We should go buy some paint tomorrow."   Oh, goody.   A little backstory:   I bought/built the house four years ago because I'd grown weary of both apartment life and renting and basically haven't done anything to it in regards to decoration since then (i.e. all the walls inside are white and there isn't much of anyting hanging on them to liven the place up a little bit). I'm fine with it. Every room is furnished with nice stuff and there isn't much clutter clogging things up. I also kept the place pretty neat and tidy, as is my nature.   sfaJill, however, is not fine with it. And that is where the conflict lies. She HATES the plain white walls and the nice, neat way I had things organized. Apparently, the house doesn't look "lived in" enough and is "boring." Whatever.   I've been successfully delaying this whole remodeling thing since she moved in last December, but now I'm out of excuses that she will accept.   So, yesterday, we spent two hours of prime football watching time wandering around Lowes. We picked out shades of blue, green, brown, and "sand" color paints. We looked at new light fixtures, towel rods, shower heads, etc. She tried to start picking out stuff for our bathroom (which we are going to pay someone to overhaul), our bedroom, and the kitchen, but I was able to put the kibosh on that by convincing her that we should probably just start with the guest bath and see what happens from there.   $300 later, we returned home with paint, a new light fixture, shower head, two towel rods, a paper holder, and a whole list of other crap she wants for other rooms.   Now...do I know anything about electrical wiring and/or hanging a light fixture? No.   Do I know how to take apart a toilet so we can paint behind it? No.   I should be able to change out the shower head, but is it likely to take me less than hour's worth of cursing and breaking shit before I get it right? No.   I have painted before and do a pretty good job at it, but it's a tedious chore I'd rather just skip. Plus, I just know that if there is the slightest hint of a streak in any area I paint, I will be asked to do it again.   This should be fun!  
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

99 years

.194   .087   37   6   What are these numbers? They are a quick summary of how completely incompetent the Cubs were against the Arizona Diamondbacks in their NLDS series that ended last night in a 3-0 Arizona sweep.   .194 = the Cubs' batting average for the series   .087 = their batting average with runners in scoring position (2-for-23), and one of those two was a weak infiled single   37 = the numbers of baserunners they had in the series   6 = the number of those baserunners that scored   How do you lose a playoff series and look completely pathetic in doing so? That's a really good start.   It also helps to have two of your biggest bats (Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez) combine for two hits, your best reliever over the second-half of the season implode, and to hit into about 14 rally-killing double plays.   I really don't know why I thought this year might be different for the Cubs. Maybe I'll never learn. Still...being swept in the first round is a better end to the season than finishing with the worst record in the league as they did last year.   At least that's what I've been telling myself for the last 12 hours...
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Tired of wet backs

During these long, hot Texas summers, what better way to beat the heat than to buy a vehicle with air conditioned seats?   ----------------------------   There isn't one single goddamn radio station in this town that is carrying the MLB playoffs. I mean, seriously--what the FUCK is up with that? We have FOUR sports radio stations in this town (including an ESPN radio affiliate) and not one of them can pick up even the shitty Westwood One network calls of the games? Christ. I knew I should have taken the rest of this afternoon off.   ----------------------------   So I just got this invitation through the mail here at work from something called the "Houston Energy & Finance Forum." I've never heard of it, but apparently they know who I am ( ) because I've been invited to attend some luncheon/seminar they're hosting next Wednesday at the Hyatt downtown. The topic? Building a career and a life, which apparently means they're going to speak about integrating my professional, personal, and spiritual life into one big harmonious pile of crap. I'm not sure I want to know who thought this up or what the purpose is.   What I would like to know is how they got my name because, after discussing this with a co-worker and asking a few individuals around the floor, it looks like I might be the only one invited to this thing. Nobody else seems to know anything about it. There hasn't even been some lame company-wide e-mail sent out informing us of this prestigious event.   Oh, wait, what's this? Does it say here that the CEO of my company is part of the host committee? The same CEO that I've never met and whom probably wouldn't know who I was if I walked up and punched him in the face right now? Or...wait. Does he actually know who I am and is fully expecting me to attend this thing? Have I been put on some sort of "rising star" list around here (just as one co-worker/partial supervisor has been saying for months) that requires me to go to things like this? Should I ignore it completely? Should I call them to say I'm not coming? Should I go and indulge in a free lunch?   I have no clue. And I have no idea what to do.    
sfaJack

sfaJack

5
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

MLB Playoff Predictions

What a game last night between the Rockies and Padres to decide the NL wild card. I missed the ending because my need to get some sleep before work today forced me to go to bed...after the 12th inning (of course!). Another 15 minutes or so and I would have seen one hell of an ending.   Nevertheless, here are my official, non-scientific, mostly off-the-top-of-my-head picks for the MLB playoffs. I normally don't do these but since the Cubbies are in this year, I figure what the hell. Feel free to mock when I'm wrong about every single series:   NATIONAL LEAGUE:   NLDS: Chicago Cubs v. Arizona Diamondbacks The Cubs have the NL's best record since June and possibly the strongest rotation of any NL playoff team. Arizona's success this year is a mystery; 14th in the league in runs scored and a -20 run differential for the year really shouldn't translate to 90 wins, but here they are. The Dbacks bullpen is solid, partly evidenced by their exceptional record in 1-run games. The Dbacks also won the season series 4-2. What does all of that mean? I don't know. You could dig up all the stats in the world to show why Arizona is better than the Cubs and it wouldn't stop me from picking the CUBS in 4.   NLDS: Colorado Rockies v. Philadelphia Phillies The Rockies' rotation and bullpen is better than most people think and they're carrying a ton of momentum into the playoffs, having finished the season on a 14-1 roll. The Phillies squeaked past the Mets to get in (yeah!) and also bring a lot of momentum into the playoffs, finishing on a 16-7 roll themselves. Does season-ending momentum matter in the playoffs? Not really (see: Tigers v. Cardinals, 2006 World Series). What matters here is that these two teams led the National League in runs scored for the season and are capable of putting double-digits on the board at any time. However, given that the Rockies' bullpen does not completely suck, I'm going to pick the ROCKIES in 5.   NLCS: Colorado Rockies v. Chicago Cubs CUBS in 6     AMERICAN LEAGUE:   ALDS: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v. Boston Red Sox The Angels posted the best home record in all of baseball. Unfortunately, they don't have home field in this series, so who cares? Angels were 4th in the league in runs scored (822), just behind Boston (867). Angels finished 5th in the league in team ERA; Boston was 1st. The Angels have Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson; Boston trumps them with Manny Ramirez/David Ortiz. Mike Scioscia's a better manager than Terry Francona but the Angels' lack of a high-priced, Japanese hired gun hurts them. But at least they have the "good" Weaver brother. On a bright note, the Angels did average nearly 5,000 more asses in the seats per game this season--that has to count for something other than extra bucks in the owner's pockets, right? Wrong. The Rally Monkey's gonna have to work some overtime. RED SOX in 5.   ALDS: New York Yankees v. Cleveland Indians Too bad the Indians blew their chance at having the AL's best record; the chance to possibly start C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona twice each in this series would really help them knock the EVIL~! Yankees out of this race and spare us all the horror of watching yet another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS. Instead, we'll have to hope that the Tribe can hold down the Yankees' vaunted offense long enough to take advantage of NY's mediocre pitching, featuring a washed-up Roger Clemens in Game 3, and win a few games. Cleveland's 0-6 mark against the Yankees this year would suggest that might be asking a bit much, but I'll pick them anyway because I'm sick of the Yankees and want them out of the way as soon as possible. INDIANS in 5.   ALCS: Cleveland Indians v. Boston Red Sox INDIANS in 7     WORLD SERIES: Chicago Cubs v. Cleveland Indians Nothing against the Indians, but I pick the Cubs to win the Series every year. Chicago Cubs in 5.
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

One more confirmed Romo-sexual

The Cowboys looked damn good in crushing the Bears last night. Tony Romo looked like a top 3 quarterback once again in shredding the vaunted Chicago defense. With his performance last night, I have to finally admit that my crush on Romo and his awesome playmaking ability has turned into full blown man love. Romo can flat out play and anyone who was convinced that the botched snap in Seattle last year would ruin him has been proven wrong. Watch him any time he makes a mistake--he just shakes it off and goes out and does something to make up for it.   A few Cowboy thoughts:   - The defense is still shaky without Terence Newman fully healthy, but at least they finally had something resembling a pass rush last night. Maybe they're coming around.   - Patrick Crayton shouldn't be playing if his broken finger is going to prevent him from catching easy touchdowns, but with Sam Hurd showing some skill, his absence might not be as noticeable.   - Marion Barber is a beast. If only he had a little more speed.   - Ken Hamlin is a big upgrade over Keith Davis.   - The Leonard Davis signing isn't the "worst move of the offseason" as some pundits were saying. Yeah, he's overpaid but he's so much better than Marco Rivera's corpse was that it's worth the $$$.   - I still don't like T.O. and all the baggage he brings to a team, but at least he's catching the ball and making plays this year.   - Jason Witten is no longer the best kept secret in the NFL. Jeremy Shockey and Antonio Gates are good, but they ain't Jason Whitten.   - Terry Glenn isn't even playing yet. Once he gets back, look out.   - There's a decent chance the Cowboys and Patriots will be 5-0 when they meet Oct. 14 in Dallas. In the four years we've had Cowboys season tickets, I don't think I've ever been more excited about attending a particular game.   One thing: if my 23 years of experience rooting for the Cubs have taught me nothing else, I have learnved to never get too excited until the season plays itself out. But if you wanted me to make an argument that the Cowboys are not the class of the NFC at this point in time, I'd have a hard time doing so.     One note on the referees, Ron White and his crew from last night should be, if not outright fired, suspended for a couple of weeks. At the very least they should not collect their paychecks for this week. What a horribly officiated game. For all the blustering and cracking down that Roger Goodell is doing on everything else around the league, why are the referees allowed to continue to be this shitty without some real measure of discipline? Get on it, Commish.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

3
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

ALICIA SILVERSTONE GETS NAKED

One of my top fantasy babes from my younger days, Alicia Silverstone, wants us to go vegetarian. This article claims that Houston and Dallas-Fort Worth were chosen for the rollout of PETA’s latest campaign because we are perennially near the top of those fattest city surveys. Whatever.   I’ve never taken much of what PETA does seriously because they’re so over the top with how they choose to get their message out, but if Alicia Silverstone is getting naked for this particular cause, I’m willing to listen.   I tried accessing the video of the commercial from work and got a message saying it was blocked by our firewall. Apparently peta.org has been classified as "Advocacy Groups, Tasteless/Gross". I chuckled.   ------------------------------   This morning, on the door inside the men’s room on our floor, some joker posted a copy of an article that claims that 33% of men do not wash their hands after going to the bathroom (only 12% of women do not). This figure was obtained after “extensive observation of over 6,000 people in four major cities” over the past couple of months. Doctors everywhere are outraged at this news though I’m not sure why. I’ve seen tons of guys not wash their hands afterwards over the years that frankly I’m shocked it’s only at 33%.   Other “do not wash” findings (for both sexes) from the article: 44% after petting a cat or dog 39% after coughing/sneezing 56% after handling money 22% after changing diapers 9% before handling food   I’ll admit that I’m often guilty on the petting cat/dog and handling money charges and even sometimes on the coughing/sneezing, but I rarely touch food with unclean hands. The diaper changing thing doesn’t apply to me since I have and will continue to do anything necessary to avoid that chore, but who are the nasty bastards that make up that 22%?   ------------------------------   Finally, a big “CONGRATULATIONS” is due my company’s management. It took some hard work, but they found another little perk to yank away from us when we were least expecting it.   Last week, it was announced that our on-site fitness center is closing at the end of the year. The company-sponsored discount membership program we have had with the YMCA is also being canned. The reason given is “cost considerations.”   Apparently, management is contending that the member base isn’t big enough to support the ongoing costs of the fitness center. One well-placed source told me that our real estate group claims to have “many studies” that show each member would have to pay out an extra $5,000 a year in order for the center to break even. If that’s true, then I need to polish the ol’ resume because this company is going to be led into bankruptcy by a bunch of idiots that clearly have no idea how to manage money. The fitness center is small in size and has a grand total of four company employees (as opposed to expensive outside contractors) on staff and is housed in a building on a campus this company has owned outright for over 30 years. There is simply no way the it is that expensive to operate.   One of the members started a “save the fitness center” petition and posted it at the check-in desk there. Management found out and ordered that the petition be scrapped immediately or there could be consequences for creating disharmony in the work environment. Hmmm. Would that be the same sort of disharmony they created when they suddenly decided to close the fitness center for questionable reasons?
sfaJack

sfaJack

7
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

September can kiss my ass

Just what the title says. The month of September can just kiss my ass and go away already.   Between sfaJill (TM kkk) needing an emergency appendectomy back on the 4th, having the A/C in my truck (a necessity down here) become mostly non-functional two days after that (after just buying new tires and shocks/brakes for it last month), and my mom finally losing her battle with cancer on the 10th, it’s been one fucked up month.   But at least the Cubs are clinging to first place and the Cowboys are 2-0. And we had a nice vacation in the lovely communist utopia of Massachusetts (more on that in another blog). Problem is, I feel like I need another one even though this is only the seventh day I’ve actually been in the office since August 22.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
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