Stephen Joseph

COLE Folks, we are about to cross live to the Tokyo Dome in Japan for a very special event in partnership with the OAOAST. Why the Tokyo Dome? Well, it’s the only Japanese arena that this writer actually knows. In the Tokyo Dome are your usual UFC commentators Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan. Take it away guys! MIKE GOLDBERG Thank you Michael, and welcome, fight fans, to the Tokyo Dome for the very first Knock Out Ultimate Fighting Event, where we are about to see the debut of one of the most successful professional wrestlers of our era. But this is a different world, Joe Rogan. JOE ROGAN Certainly is Mike, The Octagon and the wrestling ring are like chalk and cheese. You can’t escape the octagon. You can’t take shortcuts in the octagon. You give up, you tap out, or you’re goin’ to sleep. GOLDBERG Absolutely. And in this next fight, debutant Ray James, who has had moderate success in kickboxing, takes on former OAOAST Worlds Heavyweight Champion, ‘Axel’ Adam Webster. Both debuting tonight Joe. ROGAN Well Webster’s got an advantage over James straight away; he’s a hardened athlete, he wrestled a couple hundred times last year, and he’s had to deal with the burden of being the top guy over the past six months. GOLDBERG Take nothing away from Ray James, he’s worked hard to get here, done some extensive training, learnt all different types of fighting, just done the hard yards. ROGAN Yeah Mike but he hasn’t been in a hostile atmosphere like Webster, Adam Webster has faced off with some of the toughest men you’re ever likely to meet. GOLDBERG You like the wrestler in this one? ROGAN Liddell is going to kill me for saying it, but this kid is good, not good enough to make a huge impact yet, but good. GOLDBERG Okay, here we go, live in not only Japan, but across OAOAST HeldDown in the United States! A generic rock track starts, and out comes Ray James, flanked by his two corner-men. James is about 6 feet tall, pretty good build, not jacked, but looking in top shape. He walks down the short ramp, disrobes, and with little fanfare, enters the octagon, and does a couple laps, which rather than make him dizzy, fire him up. GOLDBERG He’s been a kickboxing champion throughout the US, and has been training with some top guys for the past year to try and get him physically and mentally ready for a match like this. ROGAN He looks psyched, he really does. He’s ready for this. We’re going to see just how much he’s learnt about ground-level fighting, submission fighting, because I think Webster’s going to try and wear him down. Axel knows a lot of submission moves, a few judo throws, and he’s got a good straight fighting base, so we’ll see. The rock track is replaced by Fear Factory’s ‘Moment of Impact’, and the man OAOAST fans have come to know as Axel, appears with his entourage. He is met by a large ovation from the Japanese crowd, who obviously already know him from HI-YAH shows. Dressed in a black jacket with red trunks, Axel looks supremely focused for his upcoming challenge, not stopping to pose, or anything similar. He gets to the entrance to the cage, slaps hands with his trainers, takes off his jacket, and bows before entering the cage, showing his respect for the environment he is about to enter. Once he enters, Axel does a little Brock Lesnar happy dance, before going over to his corner of the octagon. GOLDBERG He is usually a showman, known for his entrances. Not tonight. Tonight, its all business. Any insight into his specialties Joe? ROGAN Webster has a good kickboxing base knowledge, but it isn’t his strong point. His strong points are his takedowns and his ground work. He’s used submission moves in wrestling, but not to the extent that he will in the octagon. He’ll be looking for the guillotine mainly on the ground, but if he gets a nice takedown, Webster will move in for the kill and knock Ray James out. GOLDBERG For those of you that haven’t seen much Ultimate Fighting before, this match will go three 5-minute rounds. The winner of each round will receive ten points, with their opponent gaining nine points or less. This is based on effective striking, grappling, aggression and octagon control. The Japanese introductions are underway, with James being introduced first to a mild applause, followed by Axel, who gets a huge ovation. The official in charge of the bout asks both fighters if they are ready, and we are underway. Both men touch gloves, and begin in fighting stance, in somewhat of a feeling out process. James, with a kickboxing background, is light on his feet, whereas this is not a strength of Axel’s. GOLDBERG James is going to try and keep this fight vertical, because ‘Axel’ Adam Webster might just tire out if he isn’t on the mat. James comes in with a left jab, but Axel eludes it. James goes for a left jab, Axel blocks, but he doesn’t block a right hook, which rocks his jaw! GOLDBERG Nice right hand by James! That rocked the wrestler. Axel keeps his composure and backs away from James for a sec, rocked by that right hand. He soon comes forward and tries a one-two punch of his own, but James eludes them, the right hand only just. With four minutes on the clock in the first round, Axel fakes a left jab and connects with a leg kick that surprises James, who tries a left jab, only to leave room for a left jab from Axel! ROGAN That first blow rocked Webster early, but he is starting to get a rhythm. Axel goes for another blow, James eludes it, James tries a leg kick, but Axel skips out of the way, Axel with a left jab, it hits, a right cross, but it misses, James ducks, and tries to take Axel down! GOLDBERG James is in a good position here; if he gets Webster down on the mat he’ll be able to start clubbing away. ROGAN Webster has to be careful, he might be letting James in here. Axel struggles to stay on his feet, but James takes him down to the mat, and begins teeing off, with Axel trying his best to cover up. Axel uses his strength to try and reverse James and get into the dominant position, and gets halfway there, landing a couple shots to the side of James’ head, before gaining the advantage. ROGAN He turned that around Mike, he’s got the advantage now! And look at this, might be going for the guillotine! Axel is indeed going for the guillotine, and he’s halfway there with one of his arms locked around the head of Ray James. James fights desperately, and Axel tries to get his hands locked together, but he can’t do it. With three minutes remaining on the clock, James uses his leg strength to kick Axel away, and he is successful, as the former OAOAST Champion backs off, and James gets to his feet. GOLDBERG Webster very close to getting that guillotine on that exchange, but James’ control and leg strength allowed him to get out of jail. Here they go again.. James lunges forward and tries to take Axel down again, but Axel is wiser, and rocks Ray James with a vicious knee to the head! ROGAN WOW! What a knee! James is on dream street right now! Ray James, momentarily forgetting where he is, is rocked by the knee, and Axel takes advantage, hooking him around the waist, and taking him down with what could be accurately described as a shoot version of a spinebuster! Axel looks at James, and to a groan from the crowd, knocks him the FUCK OUT with a straight right hand! GOLDBERG It is OVER! What a dominant win! Axel, psyched after the knockout, jumps up and poses for the crowd, who are cheering him all the way. ROGAN Your winner, in two minutes, forty-eight seconds, ‘Axe;’ Adam Webster. Lets hope this is the start of something big for this guy. GOLDBERG You’d better head in and get his thoughts Joe. And while you’re doing that, lets have a look at the replay. You’ll see Ray James go for the takedown here, but Webster knows what’s coming so he greets James with that vicious right knee. At that point the fight may have been over had Webster just let James go, but he put the exclamation point on it, taking James down hard, and knocking him out cold with one straight right hand. Joe, you’ve got the winner there. We cross to Joe Rogan in the Octagon, as he stands beside Axel. ROGAN Axel my man, you trained for this for a while, its been a dream of yours, how does it feel to win your first professional fight. AXEL Its great Joe, Ray really rocked me with that right hand early on, but I was able to get him with that knee and the takedown, and made sure of it with the knockout shot. I can’t wait for my next fight mate. ROGAN You showcased a new style tonight, you were going for that guillotine earlier, was that part of your gameplan? AXEL Well I knew Ray wasn’t strong on the ground, so I figured if he went there, I’d have a good chance of locking in a submission and getting a tap out. I almost did it, but either way, I got the right result in the end. To all the guys in the OAOAST, I’m coming back there soon! ROGAN And they’d better take notice of this man, ‘Axel’ Adam Webster. Mike? GOLDBERG Definitely Joe, but for now, lets cross back to OAOAST HeldDown, where Michael Cole and crew are standing by. For KOUF, this has been Mike Goldberg and Joe Rogan. COLE Thanks guys, and what an impressive knockout victory to our very own Axel. COACH Certainly was Cole, he showed us that he’s not just trying this for a change, Axel is deadly serious about fighting. COLE We can only wait and see what his next move is. We go backstage where Christian Wright is standing next to the HI-YAH Heavyweight Champion Bohemoth, who is sitting down next to the catering table. WRIGHT I know Parka's here this week. I saw that car of his outside. BOHEMOTH Oh yeah? Does it look as good up close as it does on TV? WRIGHT I don't know. I didn't go up for a closer look. I just want to know his answer to what I had to say last week. BOHEMOTH Well you won't have to wait long. Here he comes. Bohemoth points over Wright's shoulder and Wright turns around quickly. Parka walks over and stops in front of Wright. PARKA Christian Wright. Just the man I wanted to see. Bohemoth stands up and walks over to Wright's side. PARKA Whoa there big fella, I don't want any trouble. BOHEMOTH I was just stretching my legs. Bohemoth stares at Parka unblinkingly. PARKA Anyways, what I was saying was that I heard what you said last week and you have yourself a match. At Dirty Deeds you will have your chance to prove yourself to Drek, to me, to whoever you want. I've seen you wrestle and you are exactly the kind of person I am looking for a match with. You're a great young talent in this business, but your choice in running buddies is what concerns me. WRIGHT What do you mean? PARKA Last week you said that I was the kind of person the Upstarts should try and rid the OAOAST of, and that didn't settle too well with me. One man has already tried to rid the OAOAST of me and he failed. WRIGHT Well I don't take back anything I said. You are the kind of person we're looking to rid the OAOAST of. It is time to change the OAOAST by driving the old filth out and making way for the young stars. I've watched you since you first started here. You tried to hold back your original partner Shattered Dreams, but he broke free from you. Then you did a good job of holding back Peter Knight, just look at what he's done since ditching you. I'm sure if you stuck around you would be just as bad as the rest of the old guard. So like I said, you are exactly the kind of person the Upstarts would love to rid the OAOAST of. PARKA I'll admit my treatment of Shattered Dreams was not something I'm really proud of, but he and I are good friends now. As far as Peter I always told him that he should break away and start a singles career. I knew he was destined for great things. I'm out here now to give a young star a chance and you are insulting me. I'm not here to hold anyone back, but if you feel I'm in your way then you'll just have to move me. The two men get face to face. WRIGHT Oh I will, trust me on that. Vitamin X may have failed to put you away, but I'm a different story. I will not go after your car, so don't let yourself become distracted by your material possessions like you did with him. I want you 100% focused and 100% ready. PARKA That I can do. WRIGHT Good, then it's settled. At Dirty Deeds I will succeed where others could not. (The camera fades out on the two men staring each other down.)

The opening theme and video take us to a control center at OAOAST Headquarters, where Michael Cole stands. COLE Welcome to a special Saturday night HeldDOWN, everybody. I'm Michael Cole and I am here to address the avalanche of complaints regarding the fact that this week's show was not on it's usual Thursday timeslot. The fact is, a major sattelite snafu caused the show, which went on as scheduled from Portland, Oregon, to not appear on TSM Network. We apologize to each and every OAOAST fan for this problem, and assure you that it will never happen again. Unfortunately, the tape of the show we are about to play for you is incomplete, as it seems that someone taped over our main event, which was Hoff defending his OAOAST World Championship against Tha Puerto Rican with the first Survivor. Hoff won that match, which we hope to have for you soon. For now, please enjoy this week's (slightly tardy) HeldDOWN~! The camera cuts to the back to show HeldDOWN GM Calvin Szechstein, on his cell phone in his office. There is a knock on the door, and Calvin, looking bothered, speaks to his cell. CALVIN Look, August, I'll call you right back, I know we can work something out... yeah, thanks for hanging up on me, asshole. Calvin looks at the door. CALVIN Come in! Thunderkid and Reject enter the commissioner's office to boos from the crowd. CALVIN What can I help you boys with? REJECT Look, Calvin, let's cut right to the chase. Forget what happened at AngleSlam, that was a fluke! I mean, how long had it been since we competed on such a high stage like that? THUNDERKID The bottom line is that we're one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history, and we want to know why we weren't included in last week's TLC match? Calvin gets out of his seat and walks around his office. CALVIN And here I was, assuming that one of the requirements for being one of the greatest tag teams in OAOAST history, as you like to call yourselves, was to have held the OAOAST tag team titles at some point, something you two have never achieved. The crowd cheers. THUNDERKID Well, how many shots did we get at those titles in the past? REJECT Besides, you put Zack and Leon in the match! They're not even a real team! CALVIN ...well, they kinda won, didn't they? And, I mean, now they're the OAOAST tag team champions, something that... oh, wait, you boys have never done. The crowd cheers again, and Calvin grins, nodding to the camera. THUNDERKID Well, that's all going to change soon. You see, we've come in here to ask for a shot at the tag team titles at Dirty Deeds, Thunderkid and Reject, challenging Zack Malibu and Leon Rodez. The crowd cheers again, the enthusiastic bastards. CALVIN Well, I'll tell you what. Tonight, I'm going to book the two of you in a match against the former tag team champions, the Sk8er Boiz. If you guys impress me out there tonight, you can have your match at the PPV. THUNDERKID Sounds like a deal. REJECT I assure you, Calvin, you won't be disappointed. TK and Reject leave the office. Cole What a way to open SmackDown. Tonight, Reject and ThunderKid look to become contenders for the Tag Team Championship Caboose Dem boys is stepping up! Coach Next thing you know Naz Mistry will return to challenge Hoff Caboose Coach you know that ... Cole Wow, what a night. Commercial break, and then a match! Caboose I'm always getting cut off...

PRL vs. Dan Tony vs. SJ

are we like, gonna see the show @ somepoint?

you were talking to a chick for 5 months? and you say she seemed willing? buster, if she wanted to go out with you, it wouldve happened. She wasn't willing, and this was her dumbass way of getting you out of her life. sigh

All Hail Big Government!

oh, the show isnt up what the?

since no one else had a thread for this

Actually, since I'd pretty much be high all the time, I imagine we'd get along.

WHatever the opener, you must parody the bloody sock

Ah, the old *nudge nudge* friend of a friend deal. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Yeah, you know, the old "let me introduce you to my friend xxxx" And then you all start hanging out some.

Sayid would be with Locke, but a skeptical one. By the way, what's down the shaft?

help?

He's been released, so us LJ owners are okay, its just a misdemeanor anyways. He'll plea out. I do want some help though. I'm trying to decide my 3rd WR in a friend's league Go with Kennison against Oakland or Mason against the Titans or Randel El against the Texans? Choose two.

::Stephen Joseph stands in the middle of the ring as we come back from commercial break, admist a chorus of boos.:: I know, I know. I'm out here yet again with a microphone, and everyone in this arena has decided that I'm about 1 shade worse than the devil himself and so the Boos are raining down on me. Enjoying yourselves? ::pause:: Good, glad to know it. Now I've got something from the heart to say. ::And the crowd boos and jeers as SJ pauses to clear his throat. He turns slowly to his left as he scans the crowd, settling in a gaze on Sofa Central.:: I know why you boo me, at least right now. With this "revolution" going on, I turned on Dan, Tony, and though it should be no surprise, Zack Malibu. Have you ever really considered why I did what I did? Have you ever thought how you would have acted? ::Stephen Joseph pauses, giving Sofa Central a chance to comment:: Cole SJ trying to plant a seed of doubt in the true OAOAST fans. Coach He's got a point Coach. Have you ever thought about it Caboose Oh, I've thought about it all right... I'd... Let's rewind here. Look at my career. It started off great, I was winning matches, had a dominant tag team run, and was for awhile the number 1 contender for the World Title. Remember the Trinity? Remember Intensezone as a great show? Los Infernales, my idea. Mystery Weirdness Connection, my idea. Hell, I made Eskimo in the fans eyes when he first started out, does anyone out there remember our USTV Title matches? I do. Then, because of some punks, I lost my smile, and with it, my position in the company. Because some punks thought making light of my, now, ex-fiancee was humorous. Sophomoric hijinks were in, and my personal life was exposed to the business. Let me ask you fans a question? Would you like it if your family was exposed to those are around you, your secrets, your home? How'd you like to have people camping outside your house chanting degrading things as you and your family go about their business, try to live a normal life? It takes a damn toll, its a circus, I know how that feels. And what did my company do, my 'veteran' friends do? They allowed it. None had any gumption to step up and say "This is not right". They made it clear they preferred the insulters to the insultee. No longer was I even wanted around here, and it became clear when good boy Malibu and Co. fled to their own show of HeldDown, took any talent that came around, and left the flagship show to rot and die. And where are the insulters now? Disgraced, like they deserved, but it took time. And did anyone of them ever, ever apologize? Well, I'll be honest. One did. But what about my friends, those who should have had? No, they didn't. Coach Stephen's being very real here. Caboose Talk about crossing the line between a shoot and a shoot. Now, out of everyone who stayed with IntenseZone till the end, I had nothing but respect. Until, that is, Dan and Tony decided to not look after themselves anymore. Now they pander. It's pathetic. They're not thinking of their families, their friends, they're just thinking of themselves. That's selfish. Cole WHAT? And your NOT? Coach Of course he isn't. He's thinking of his family! Caboose. Ego. Every company must eventually go in a new direction. You've either got to embrace the change, or let it destroy you. Now, I don't know about you all, but I have a job. I wrestle. Some of you work in cubicles, some of you own companies, and some of you serve hamburgers. But what we all have in common is that we have a job. Caboose I pray every day that you don't have a job Coach That's more likely to happen to you...or Cole Cole Hey, Josh Matthews is going first! And why do we have a job? That's right, to take care of those near and dear to us. Would you throw away your job if it meant not being able to support those whom you love? I don't think so, and neither would I. We're the same in that respect. Caboose No. We are not. Coach That's because you lack integrity. Now, let's go back again. Who on IntenseZone didn't change? Tha Puerto Rican, that's who. I don't really like like PR, I mean, he's a freaking arrogant prick. But you know what I do like? He trains 6 hours a day, watches tapes for 2 hours, and then spends the rest of the time with his family. He treats them well. He may have an ego about it, but damn if he doesn't take care of them. And he wants to take even better care of them, he wants to be World Champion, and he's puttting forth the effort to get there. You have to admire that. And deep down, you do, because that's why you all were so stoked for PRL/Cappa last week. There was a point to that match. Cole Whatta match last week that was! Because to me, out of everyone in the OAOAST, PRL is family. And come hell or high water, we're going to take care of each other. Coach You want loyalty? That's loyalty, to the 24/7 Champ no less! Put yourself in my shoes. The winds are changing, and I've muddled it out here, hanging on, in a job I hate, just to put food on the table. And a roof and a few cars, but I stayed in a job I disliked for my family, for my friends. How is that any different from you? ::Crowd boos as SJ pauses, but a smattering of hands clapping. A very small smattering. OAOAST production crews are quick to edit it out:: But, but recently I woke up. See, here's where ole BPP imparts a little wisdom. If you want anything in life, you have to take a chance at it. Nobody becomes a somebody without risking a chance to be a permanent nobody. Our leaders took a risk like that (well, except for Daddy's boy Bush...) If you remember back to MSG, Jimmy Snuka took that risk. ::The crowd pops at the mention of Jimmy Snuka:: You have to take that risk. So I did. I took that risk because, while I don't doubt for a moment that Drek and Co only care about themselves, maybe, just maybe, they'll take better care of me, of PRL, of the LC, and of my family than the whole old order of the OAOAST did for us. Maybe PRL will get that title shot he's been deserving for TWO YEARS! And I'm not even mentioning my claim to it. ::Crowd boos, again. Some fans clap, but you can't hear them. They're mostly in the front seats of the arena. And here's where we differ, you fans and I. When I saw this opportunity to improve my lot, I came back. I returned, I went for it. I've got...cajones. I'm trying to live my dream. Now look around at you all, how many of you have put it all on the line for your dreams, or how many of you have let your dream pass you by, you've settled for something less than what you know you could have been. Coach That's it. Motivate these low-lifes! Cole I like my job just fine. Coach But you could have been more Cole. You can have been. Caboose Yeah, if he took steroids... See, that's the difference. I'll risk it all. You won't. Well, not all of you. There are some of you, who are like me, who'll take that risk. And I salute you, and those who will be inspired by you to take that risk...finally. How many people lose their dreams and wonder why? But that not for me I'll get my dream or die trying. And you know what my dream is. OAOAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION. Caboose OH FUCK NO! Coach Oh HELL YES! Popick's stepping it up! Hoff, I'm serving notice to you. I will be coming for that title. And if not from you, from the next person, or the next person. I will have that title. I'll live my dream. And starting tonight, by any and all means necessary, I will start the climb back up to get there. By any means necessary. This week, I'll beat Dan Black 1,2,3 in the middle of the ring. Next week, I challenge former World Champion Tony Brannigan. I'll beat your ass too. It's not over for me. And if you don't like that, then well... Fuck You. (minor crowd echo, which is quickly gone). CUE: It Ain't Over (Terrence Howard) Look this is my life, and it's a battle within I gotta survive, even if I'm sinnin to win And if I show no remorse I reap the devil's reward He said he'd, give me riches but I'm lookin for more This is the gift I was given so I just live by my hustle [Chorus 2X: Djay] + (singer, ad libbing at times) (Keep hustlin) It ain't over for me, no it ain't over for me (Keep, flowin) I'ma step my game up and get what's comin to me [Djay] So I give it my all, you feel my struggle and pain If you ain't feelin what I'm spittin trick you late to the game But the closest ones to me know I'm holdin it down You gon' feel me one day, we gon' be heard in the town [Chorus] - 2.5X, singer ad libs to fade

That's honestly fine. I've been working out a big time promo in my head, and it wouldn't suit it well if SJ lost on HD Dan, my match writing skills suck still, so could you take the match, or part of it?

Mark is a good friend of a good friend, that's all it is.

Wasn't that already agreed upon? At least between you, me and Eski? <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Couldn't remember Uhh, Tony, PM COMING~!

I'm thinking either SJ/DAN or SJ/Tony or perhaps SJ/PR vs. Dan/Tony

Ummm Didn't we do this once, scratch that, twice before? I mean, I like you guys and all (okay, some of you) but unless there's an insane amount of drug usage, I'd flip channels

Who?

Just so you all know, Hassan isn't wrestling right now. I wish I could tell you more, but he asked for us not to talk about what he's up to right now.

Oh so more than just overpriced union guys can work on the rebuilding? Score!

Then you know nothing of privatized education then. If we incentived them (via tax law) to bring up the lower half, it would work. The current educational system is creating a permanent underclass. Youhave two options. Let it happen, or at least try something different

Like the current edumacational system is doing a good job...