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Coffin Surfer

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Everything posted by Coffin Surfer

  1. Coffin Surfer

    TSM TV Badass Tournament nominations thread

    From "La Femme Nikita" Madeline-One cold hearted bitch who never had a problem with the torture and murder of the innocent if it met her objectives. Michael-A pretty boy type but seemingly invincible and emotionless before the series got sappy and went into the crapper. Nikita-Uber assassain. And unless Dopussy's post doesn't count. Sayid from Lost as an offiical nomination.
  2. Coffin Surfer

    Danny Williams speaks

    Mold and other urban decay linger in the dirty air as a lone naked light bulb casts menacing shadows on the brick walls of the old gym. The room is damp, claustrophobic, and ancient, the last place one would expect to find a modern athlete training his heart out in. Thunderous explosions, like cannon fire, rhythmically shake the room. Working up a sweat, Williams relentlessly pounds a tough old punch bag with his forearms. Hanging from an iron chain, the heavy bag dents under the pressure of the crushing blows; the duct tape thickly wrapped around its body seemingly the only thing holding it together. Ben Hardy (Voiceover): Earlier day we caught up with Danny Williams, who was training rigorously in preparation for his upcoming PPV bout with Michael Stephens. Seated on an old cast iron bench, his swollen arms protruding from a filthy muscle shirt, Williams speaks in a worn but stern voice. "I came back for the fans plain and simple. My last couple title runs were disappointing and now that I have my health back, I’m ready to give it another try, and see what I can do. Hopefully, I can give the fans a more satisfying run this time around on." From a foldout chair across the room, Hardy nods. "So would say that is your only goal?" "My goal is the same as always, to win the World Title, or give it my all trying." In deep contemplation, Hardy pauses before asking the next question, as if he's struggling for the right words. "And yet you turned down a title shot upon your return." Williams shakes his head. "I don't want to be given anything unless I've proved I earned it. Going up against an athlete of Stephen's ability will be a great test to see where I stand." "Is that why you wanted to face Stephens?" "Aside from the fact the little punk talks too much, of course that's the reason. He feels he belongs in the Main Event, I feel I belong in the Main Event, it's only fitting we face each other. Hopefully, will both end up looking like Championship material and the fans will get their money's worth." "Do you feel that after such a long lay off that you have a lot to prove?" Williams nervously laughs. "I think Stephens himself brought up some very good questions, and I'm going to have answer them if this comeback is going to go anywhere." "Do you have any prediction for the fight? Do you think it will resemble your previous matches together?" Williams chuckles again. "No way. We're both completely different wrestlers now, for better or for worst. Hopefully, he won't bring a chair this time." Danny and Ben share a laugh as the camera fades out. Hardy (Voiceover): Regardless of who comes out on top on March 28, the bout has stirred a great deal of interest in the wrestling community. Both men have something to prove, and it will no doubt be a highly competitive match that could determine the future of the Main Event scene. I'm Ben Hardy, signing off.
  3. Coffin Surfer

    TSM TV Badass Tournament nominations thread

    I'll throw in Macgyver as well. He could probably take out most of the guys mentioned with a paper clip and underwear elastic.
  4. Coffin Surfer

    NBA Roundtable Discussion

    "Are we pretending that Dwayne Wade doesn't get more love than anyone, also because he might happen to be a defending champion. " 100% correct. Wade has at least one commercial per NBA break, and is constantly given mind boggling verbal blow jobs by announcers, hosts...etc.. I recall the Dallas/Miami ABC Sunday game a few months back when they were down by about 10 with Dirk off to a monster 4 out of 4 start or something. Dirk makes a big play. Announcers, "Wade is such a student of the game, Wade is such a team player...blah, blah, blah. " It was so annoying, I had to turn the sound off. I would say Lebron, Kobe, Ming, and Wade are much more heavily marketed than any players in the NBA. Of course Nash and Dirk are loved by the media, but I don't see them getting more attention than the 4 I mentioned. I mean look at the air time the Cavs get, despite not even being that good. Kobe was in talks for MVP by the media until the losing streaks, suspensions..etc.
  5. Coffin Surfer

    TSM TV Badass Tournament nominations thread

    Giles-Buffy Al Bundy-Married with Children Duncan MacCloud-Highlander Dexter-Dexter I'll probably think of more later.
  6. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    "Shadows Fall - The Art of Balance Not necessarily a slump in the sense that it's not successful, because it was even more successful than their first Century Media release Of One Blood, but it's not nearly as good as Of One Blood. So it doesn't count per se, but it does because of the huge drop off in quality." I prefer "Art of Balance" actually. They toned things down a bit, but I think the more controlled/patient approached allowed them to create good memorable riffs, while also making moments llike the climatic solo on "Art of Balance" and the closing riff "Fire In Babylon" all the more impactful. They strike me as better overall song composers on that outing, though I must "Destroyer of Senses" and the title track were really weak. Here's one: Down II-Ugh. NOLA is a modern classic though.
  7. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    "Speaking of punk albums, this one doesn't really count in that it wasn't a true album and more of a soundtrack, but The Great Rock & Roll Swindle was clearly a huge drop off from Never Mind the Bullocks. Also, it didn't really feature the original band either." Nah, I wouldn't count that. Not really an official album, just a bunch of random recordings collected and thrown together. Still, I must say Johnny Rotten's original vision of "Anarchy in the UK" crushes the one that made the album. "I have not yet heard Black Sabbath, but Paranoid most certainly is a classic." Personally, the theatrics of the debut sometimes comes off a little too heavy handed and cheesy for me but it's certainly a landmark release. I think they got it just right with "Paranoid."
  8. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    No, the UK version instead has: "White Riot"-A different, rougher take that I perfer. "Deny "Cheat" "Protext Blue" "48 Hours "Cheat" and "Protex Blue" are very good, borderline classic Clash songs. "48 hrs" is fun amd "Deny" drags. The US has version has the better songs(singles and what not scrapped together), but the album just doesn't feel right to me.
  9. Coffin Surfer

    Boxing Thread

    It looks Oleg/Vitali is pretty much a done deal for June 2. Peter will be facing the winner for a huge stand aside fee. I think Peter/Oleg would be more competitive and fun, but who knows what kind of shape Vitali is in. Oleg might have a chance but my gut feeling just says he's looking for a payday to retire with. Unforunately, Briggs/Sultan has took their venue and date....eh.
  10. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    "ha. no. you can have your opinion. " Well, obviously. " this wasn't a stink bag album." Nor does it need to be to qualify as a slump. " just because it dopesn't have a legendary status placed on it, doesn't mean EVERYONE must bow down & proclaim thee to be a slump." A slump is a dip in an ascending or straight line, no? Just because you may prefer the album doesn't change the fact that it's always been regarded as a disappointing follow up to the debut in pretty much every way possible. Sorry, but it is the exact definition of a sophomore slump. Yeessh, I'm not even that big a fan of "London Calling" but I wouldn't try to you use my personal preference for the debut to argue it as being a disappointing album in a topic like this as it was a huge, beloved success. This simply isn't the same as the "Paranoid" or "Zep II" argument you tried to link it to. Both of those albums have been argued as being the best the band has ever done while featuring some of their more well known regarded songs. Precious few would say the same for "Give Em Enough Rope."
  11. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    I prefer the flow and rougher edge of the U.K. version, only one real weak track in the annoying "Deny." Nearly every other track is a signature anthem for them and I would very much consider it a classic album. The U.S. version does have "Complete Control" though. Still, outside of a small minority your not gonna find many Clash fans that prefer "Give Em Enough Rope," it was never a well recieved album and I doubt that will change. It will always be sandwhiched between two albums that regardless of your personal prefence have the classic stigma attached to them. You really can't argue this, sorry.
  12. Coffin Surfer

    Boxing Thread

    "Me either, well not too much anyway. His loss to Sanders I almost blame on his corner since Wlad was ice cold coming out of the lockerroom, when any common idiot knows your boxer should be warming up and in mid-sweat by the time he enters the ring." I barely remember the fight but that would explain a lot. "Against Brewster, it seemed like conditioning, as he got up and wasn't wobbly at all, just tired as hell. I still don't quite understand that fight, but it would explain why Wlad is way more picky about throwing punches now then before." I remember hearing all sorts of strange stories about that fight, not sure what to believe. I heard about Wlad being possibly drugged, Wlad's skin pores being suffocated by some sort of lotion from an ill advised rub down before the fight. It all sounds goofy as hell to me, but after watching the fight at the time; it does some wierd. At any rate, Wlad getting gassed is the simplest and most grounded explantation so I'll go with that. And Ill go with Barrera decision also.
  13. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    Are you talking about the Clash? I really wouldn't call "Give Em Enough Rope" a good overall record, sorry. If a barely decent forgotten album sandwhiched inbetween a universally regarded classic debut and all time great isn't a sophmore slump what the hell is?
  14. Coffin Surfer

    Boxing Thread

    "Supposedly, these 7 foot giants like Valuev, are "commonly" seen in the Eastern European circuit, it is just that none of them have gotten as far as Valuev has. The dude is a giant, and is a size mismatch for anyone, however when I saw him on HBO he didn't look too impressive as far as skills go and I think WLAD would have a relatively easy time painting the guy with punches." His stamina, chin, and workrate surprised me, but Wlad shouldn't have a problem outboxing him. "Wlad is definately born again hard, but the problem is, if you have a glass chin, there is ALWAYS a chance to get beaten by inferior competition." I never bought into the glass chin case for Wlad. He got shocked and overwhelmed by Sanders, gassed against Brewster, and I would have a hard time calling most of the Peter knockdowns legit with a straight face. The last knock down was probably legit but Wlad had no problem recovering; I also suspect his struggling confidence coming into the fight had a lot to do with sloppy performance. Peter is also one of the more heavy handed fighters in the division. Besides if he keeps fighting the way he does, he won't have to take too many clean shots.
  15. Coffin Surfer

    Sophomore Slumps

    From my understanding, a great deal of the trouble with Buckley's follow up was that he didn't see eye to eye with producer Tom Verlanie. Buckley wasn't pleased with the raw quality of the songs and wanted something similar to the densely produced "Grace." But Here's a big sophomore slump. Clash-Give Em Enough Rope. Not a bad record, but disappointing and almost written out of history. One would think "London's Calling" is their second release these days.
  16. Coffin Surfer

    Boxing Thread

    And apparently a shockingly inshape and fired up Sultan ran over Mora. Too bad it wasn't Briggs. Sorry, I'm not sold on Peter. He improved against Toney in that he figured out he could outjab the smaller man (duh), but he is still sloppy and awkward as hell. Meanwhile, Wlad is far more confident, sharper and patient than he was when he was coming off two terrible TKO losses, and would most likely pick up where he left off in their last match with Peter doing the chicken dance. Again, I wouldn't be surprised if the suddenly game Oleg beats Peter(assuming the match takes place). Wlad is also in talks with Valuev(assuming gets past his mandatory) for a possible June bout. That should be interesting. I think Wlad will outpoint him, but I can't see him scoring the KO.
  17. Coffin Surfer

    Your Five Favorite Anything

    They weren't dancing by the end of "Squeeze Me Macoroni?" My girlfriend doesn't mind Bungle too much, but she loves "Peeping Tom." Fantomas and Patton's solo albums are another story. How about top five albums or songs that freaked out your girlfriend/friend/wife/ or anybody. Not the same as annoyed(Beefhart would be number one them), I mean really bothered them. 1. Diamanda Galas-"Dancing in the Dark" My girlfriend had to turn it off after the opening piano lines. 2. Fantomas-"Rosemary's Baby" 3. Minton/West-"Gemini" 4. Can-"Peking O" 5. Prince-"If I Was Girlfriend" Yeah, gives alot of people the creeps for some reason.... Honorable mention goes to the entire album, Toby Driver-"In the Li...Li....Library Loft."
  18. Coffin Surfer

    Your Five Favorite Anything

    70s Lennon-Plastic Ono Band Can-Ege Bamyasi Stooges-Fun House Rolling Stones-Sticky Fingers Bowie-Ziggy Stardust 80s Prince-Purple Rain Roxy Music-Avalon Diamanda Galas-You Must Be Certain of the Devil Cure-Kiss Me, Kiss Me Stiff Little Fingers-Go For It 90s Talk Talk-Laughing Stock X Japan-Dahlia Mr. Bungle-Mr. Bungle Tom Waits-Bone Machine Slint-Spiderland
  19. Coffin Surfer

    The Condemned

    "Oh but it is, which is what baffles me" I've seen it billed as thought provoking, which it is to some degree as the concept is very interesting. To be honest, I rarely see people reading to much into it and if they do, it's probably for the same reasons people read too much into movies from America, Europe..etc. I seriously think your decieving yourself if you believe the movie has developed such an enduring cult following simply because it's a Japanese film; those are dime a dozen. It takes more than that to be a beloved cult classic. "I personally think it is what this film is going to be. Mindless fun and violence." I don't think this is a fair critique of the film. In addition to an obvious overall theme of "friendship and caring for others" , the overall approach of the film vastly differs from mindless violence romps, too much focus on the characters and their motives for that to work. "Ju-On," -Which one? The theatircal remake is bloody awful. The direct to video original is fantastic. "Marebito" -A stone faced Shinya killing people and feeding a nude girl blood in sexually suggestive ways, rules. Rest of the movie, not so much. I'm not saying there are people that love movies soley because their Japanese.... But I think the movies that get most of the attention generally have something unique and enjoyable about them aside from the language and shape of the actor's eyes. Even an overall stinker like Marebito is a rather different kind of movie that is going to get attention and perhaps what I percieve to be underserved praise regardless of what country it is from. The same goes for Battle Royale as well. Now let's talk about how if "Suspira" and "The Beyond" were American they wouldn't be cult classics.
  20. Coffin Surfer

    George Romero talks "Diary of the Dead"

    Ugh, I dislike the The Dawn Remake as well. Promising pre-credit opening but that's it. Lame characters I could give a damn about, no dread, really bad jokes, little to any zombie carnage, and plenty of annoying forced conflicts in a desperate attempt to keep things interesting (see: security guard crap, "your not gonna take my zombie baby!", "not without my dog" and "let's find an island for the hell of it.") Give me the decent Night remake over this garbage any day. Land on the other was a very enjoyable movie. I think people found the action movie approach disappointing, but I think it worked for what it was. Besides Romero's real masterpiece was "Martin" anyway. And of course Zombies can run, Return of the Living Dead is a genre classic.
  21. Coffin Surfer

    Boxing Thread

    I've always been a huge Holyfield fan, but I have to agree. Still doesn't change the fact that prime Holyfield was one of the smartest and toughest fighers I've ever seen, but this does destroy what was left of his legacy. His rapid decline has been apparent ever since the mid 90s, and roid abuse is very telling.
  22. Coffin Surfer

    "The Devil and Mr. Williams"

    Pulled blinds eclipse the bright rising sun, basking the office in a nauseating orange glow. Hard at work, Flesher force feeds gobs of paper into a growling shredder. The piling confetti that remains has long out grown the meager office size trash can, spilling onto the floor like rolling snakes. Suddenly, a knock at the door sparks paranoia in the sleep deprived eyes of the stressed commissioner. "Hang on!” he urgently calls to his unseen guest. Thinking fast, he kicks the trash can and it’s overflowing contents beneath his desk; cursing to himself as he does so. Looking to the pile of papers, he nervously licks his fingers and searches about the room. Scooping up the towering pile, he begins to sloppily shove handfuls beneath the decorative rug. Madly hopping up and down on the lumpy carpet, he gives up and rushes behind his desk. Wiping sweat from his brow, he forces a relaxed posture. His eyes dart down to an open drawer, his hand reaching for the exposed gun resting inside. “Now, how can I help you,” he announces to the door. The knob turns and the door slowly glides open. A mammoth figure outlines the light from the hall, scaring Flesher into action. Putting the gun to his head, he jumps up and screams,” Take one more step or so help me I’ll…..” The earth shakes as the figure lurches into the room, the door closing behind him. Flesher’s eyes adjust, and the shadow transforms into a familiar face. “Oh Danny, great to see you!” he exclaims with surprise. Red faced, he squirts water out of the toy gun and forces a laugh. “Sorry I thought you were someone else.” Williams eyes Flesher oddly, and looks about the room; the strange lumps beneath the carpet earning his attention. “I need to fire that damn cleaning lady,” jests Flesher, motioning for Williams to take a seat in front of his desk. Williams uncomfortable takes a seat, his wide, muscular frame having difficulty squeezing into the office chair. “Join me in a belt of bourbon?” asks Flesher, anxiously stumbling to his trashed mini-bar. Williams shakes his head. “Sorry, I know you don’t drink anymore, I was just thinking out loud again. You know how it gets, not sleeping for the past week or so. My Valium script ran out.“ Flesher apologizes without a hint of irony. Pouring strong smelling liquor into a shot glass, he quickly downs the rest of the bottle like John Belushi from Animal House. Than he has the shot and returns to his desk. Williams watches with a worried expression as Flesher stumbles into his chair, and grumbles, “You have to excuse me, I’m preparing for the big meeting next…uh….soon.” Williams nods, the worried expression on face refusing to leave. “So how’s Japan?” asks Flesher. “I can’t complain. Annie says hello.” “Annie?” “Or her twin sister, or not, whatever.” “Nah, I think I know what Allison's been up to," Tom snickers. He sighs wistfully. "Those were the days weren’t they?” “I guess.” groans Williams,” I thought the whole thing was a big, confusing mess.” “I mean overall, damn it!” insists Flesher, drunkenly slamming his fist into the desk. “It was safe as houses than, the peak of our great sport. We could do no wrong! Now we can’t even draw fleas at a Mississippi whore house. Wrestling, real wrestling is dying a slow, agonizing death in this country. No one's watching and no one's coming up through the developmental system, nobody wants to be real wrestlers anymore, they just want to be Hollywood superstars. Don’t get me wrong, I was a showman but I was always a wrestler first. ” “To be fair, movie stars don’t break bones and tear ligaments for a living.” Flesher sits back, nodding in agreement.” Perhaps you’re right. Maybe we did take things too far in the old days, where’s the glory in a career that will only leave you brain damaged or crippled for your trouble?” “I’m coming back,” expresses Williams with calm confidence. “What!?” exclaims Flesher, jumping up right in his chair. “Are you even in ring shape?” Williams looks at him with a face that says he should know better. “Shit, this must be another hallucination. You’re really serious?” Williams nods. Flesher laughs manically, "Danno, you’re a godsend. When can you start?” “As soon as possible.” “We can get a big ratings spike out of this. We can even have a live contract signing to announce your return to the Championship scene.” “The Championship scene?” “Danny, your one of the biggest stars in the history of the company. One of the only survivors from the glory years, we need you in the Main Event scene. It’s for the good of the company, for the good for the sport. Right? ” preaches Flesher, extending his hand. Williams shrugs his shoulders, and uneasily commits to the hand shake. Rising, Flesher opens the door. “We’ll be in touch, Danny. I'll have Bill call your people, hammer out the contract. I think we have just the slot for you.“ Pondering as to what exactly he’s got himself into, Williams leaves the office in a confused blur. The door closes and he hears Flesher dance a jig. Heading down the hall, he ponders the nature of the agreement and if he done the right thing. All he wants to do is help the company, but not if it means holding anybody deserving back.
  23. Coffin Surfer

    SWF STATS THREAD, 2007!

    Name: Dan Williams Height: 6'2†Weight: 270 Hometown: Louisville, Kentucky Age: 26 Face/Heel: Face Stable: None Tag Team: None. Ring Escort: None. Weapon: Chair when he needs one. Taunt: Adjusts elbow pad. Doesn't speak much. Looks: Strong featured and broadly built with an emphasis on mass rather than definition. Very rough looking and intimidating, though his face has a rugged kindness to it; it is fairly obvious he is not a mean spirited or vicious person. Long wavy brown hair and clean shaven, think of Arnold from the first Conan movie. Mostly stoic but intense, and passionate in the heat of battle. Wears black tights cut off at the knee, white boots, and wrist tape. Also wears a black elbow pad on his Lariat arm. Ring Entrance: Comes out to the marching, heroic guitar of In Flames' "Jester's Dance." Intense and focused as he makes his way to the ring, looks like a guy that's come to fight and little else. May raise an arm to the crowd if the mood strikes him right. Stats: Strength: 8 (Can throw most anybody around with a little effort.) Speed: 2 (Agile but not very quick. Can still manage the Suicide Dive but little else.) Vitality: 8 (Battled tested vet, tough as hell to hurt. Can no sell weaker strikes and such.) Charisma: 2 (Super over but not for his flash and mic skills. His dramatic in ring heorics are the stuff of the legend, giving him a rather mythical quality with fans.) Style: Power/Brawler. Few can stand toe to toe against his devestating elbow smashes. His power, fire and toughness makes him a hard fight for most anybody, and his alarming experience doesn't help matters. However, he is highly prone to injuries with a history of bad facial cuts, broken noses, concussions, arm injuries, and suspect legs and lower body. Nowhere near as athletic as he used to be and his amateur mat wrestling days are looking further and further away. Rare Moves: -Apron Powerbomb for bitter fueds. -Cross Armbreaker (a deadly surprise move) Common Moves: -The basics: Scoop Slam, Headlock stuff. -Press Slam -Powerslam -Elbow Smashes -Back Elbow -Spinning Back Elbow -Rolling Elbow -A Heavy Dropkick -Elbow Drops -Big Shoulderblock Signature Moves: -Elbow Suicida -German Suplex -Powerbomb -Step Over Facelock Finishers: Axe Bomber-Hard Lariat to the face that mostly connects with the elbow. Notes: Williams is an honorable, modest athlete that rarely breaks the rules or even bends them. Exploiting serious injuries is something he strays away from, prefering to beat his opponents in a fair fight without crutches. Does his best to wrestle without malice, simply doing enough to get the job done; not looking to seriously punish or injure anybody. Very patient and composed, though he does have a mean streak when pushed too far repeatedly; yet his retorts are often very controlled these days. History: Former junior heavyweight, high flying, mat wrestler. The least successful of his legendary peers(Flesher, Frost, TNT), though possibly the most endured by the fans. Turned heavyweight in SWF, helping to introduce a highly influential hard hitting, strike based style to the fed. Though often plagued by career threatening injuries, he managed to captured the World Title 4 times(none lasting very long). His dramatic battles, global touring, likable but reserved personality, and superhuman athleticism made him into a huge star; one of the highest grossing ones ever in fact. Forced into retirement after a brutal string of concussions and arm injuries. Popping up from the occassional exhibition over the past two years with much success, he has returned with newfound health in the hopes of giving the now struggling SWF a boost.
  24. Coffin Surfer

    Storm Comments for 2/28

    Great Main Event! Drake reminded me of Aja Kong on a vicious mean streak with even less vunerability. I love the way that Clark never really has a chance or any real momentum outside of a few cool hope spots that only serve to reinforce how unstoppable Drake. The finish was great but just to nitpick if I may, I think it would have been more effective and brutal had Drake just pinned him after the pounding him down. Best match I've read here in some time. Very low key and blunt dramatic storytelling.
  25. Coffin Surfer

    Frank Zappa

    I'll second "One Size Fits All" as a great place to start. More straightforward rock but still full of the weird freak outs, great guitar wankery, and sarcasm that makes Zappa special. The solo in "Po-Jama People" scorches. "I don't like "San Ber'dino" or "Andy" very much" Beefhart's intro harmonica rules, as does the faux soul vocals that close. As far "Andy" I thought it was actually the climatic high point of the album, great memorable chorus and vocal freak out. Anyone that wanders where Patton gets some of his stuff should take a listen to that song. "Florentine Pogen" This may be the one song from the album I didn't care too much for, outside of the funny lyrics.
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