chirs3

Explanation here.

Markers edited in.

If that's the case, I already know who's winning Davis v. Coyote and Bruce v. Amy.

I love how no one pointed out the fact that I put: Rules: 4000 For the last three matches.

Never on the USS Alabama specifically, no, but I have been on a battleship before. Boy Scout tour. I forget the name. Never been on a sub, though. All I know about them is from what I saw in U-571.

Descriptions in. Markers to be added. And I think the Battleship has more fun options for violence than a sub does. But that's just me.

No clue, WC. And I really do mean my sincerest apologies about this mess of a card - Judge turned into a Cell zombie or something yesterday, and I was up til all hours trying to just get something together. I had hoped to get a Wildchild defense in for this show, among other things, but by 4 AM I was just plain fried. Anyone I missed on this card - consider yourselves Top Priority for Storm booking. Again, I'm really sorry about this.

Main Event's up.

Almost every replacement announcer we're testing was after my time. I know he's supposed to be both a face and super cocky. And I know he has a weird name. And I'm pretty sure he's neither gay nor Canadian. After that, though, you'd need to ask someone else. Bed. Sleep. dmmdef.f fewfjf. dweidne. hiweff j

The Smartmark's Wrestling Federation Presents... SWF SMARKDOWN LIVE, MONDAY, APRIL 3rd, FROM THE SOLD OUT MOBILE CIVIC CENTER IN MOBILE, ALABAMA ! (7:00pm PST, 10:00pm EST; check local listings) Guest Commentator: MAK FRANCIS~! Someone describe him please. MOBILE, ALABAMA! The whitest, the trashiest, the downright dirtiest little patch of the South we could find! It's no wonder, then, that Hometown Hero and Ultraviolent Champion, gets the Main Event billing in a title defense against Amy Stephens! PLUS! Ghost Machine 2.0 cashes in his shot against Akira Kaibatsu, the Cruiserweight Champion who has stumped all-comers so far! Has he got what it takes to put the poltergeist-prototype away? -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- THE MAIN EVENT - SWF ULTRAVIOLENT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH House Rules - Crimson Tide Match Bruce Blank © vs. Amy Stephens ---> Drunk and Disorderly, certainly an odd pairing, made quite a showing in the Lethal Lottery. But once the LL was over, Bruce Blank abandoned his partner and hasn't looked back. Amy takes offense to this. She takes offense to a lot of things. In any event, Bruce has welcomed all comers for his Beat the Champ challenge, and Amy is only too happy to accept. It's Drunk vs. Disorderly, for the UV Title, and it's House Rules! Rules: The match begins on the deck of the USS Alabama. Once the match begins, it will leave port and head out to sea. The object of the match is to first bloody your opponent, then toss them over the side into the water. The entire ship is open for brawling, though I have no clue what these ships might contain. If you can't find a better description, just make stuff up, you won't be penalized. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: janusd -=-=-=-=- SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH "The Divine Wind" © Akira Kaibatsu vs. Ghost Machine 2.0 ---> Akira beats Zyon. Akira beats Spike. Ghost beats Spike. Zyon beats Ghost. I'm getting confused. Alls I know is the Cruiserweight Title has become a hot item in recent weeks, with more than a few big names vying for a shot. Tonight, GM2.0 gets a crack at the champ - can you imagine the ramifications if a person... or... thing... like Ghost Machine were to pull out the win? Wildchild would spin in his grave! If he was dead, I mean. He's not. Rules: Standard, with Cruiser addenda. Outside count to 20, no tossing over top ropes, etc. Word Limit: 5500 Send to: Evolution -=-=-=-=- Jay Hawke vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix ---> Landon wants ring time? Landon gets ring time! Jay Hawke couldn't quite seal the deal on Lockdown, and I'm betting he's none too pleased about it! La Cucaracha gets a crack at the former #1 Contender - let's see if he can make good on it! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 5500 Send to: realitycheck -=-=-=-=- WACKY CONTENDERSHIP MATCH Arch Griffon vs. JJ Johnson © vs. Michael Cross ---> This is what happens when you book at 3 AM. In chat. After drinking too much soda. Besides, we've got lots of champs, and no one to challenge them! It's time we sorted out who's who, what's what, and... other stuff. Arch Griffon, former International Champion of some note. JJ Johnson, current tag champion and all around jolly fellow. Michael Cross, fresh-ex-champ. All worthy contenders, and that's good, because this match for a whole mess of contenderships. Rules: First fall wins. Depending on who pins whom, different contenderships will be awarded. JJ - Pin either Arch or Cross to win an INT title shot. Arch - Pin Cross, get an INT shot. Pin JJ, get a tag shot w/ partner of your choice. Cross - Pin Arch, get an INT shot. Pin JJ, get a tag shot w/ partner of your choice. Word Limit: 6000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- Sean Davis vs. Kevin Coyote ---> A plane ticket snafu kept Coyote from competing on Lockdown, and he's been chomping at the bit for some competition! Peters, always willing to please, has matched him against the eternally angry Sean Davis. FIGHT! Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4500 Send to: Justice -=-=-=-=- Christian Fury vs. Manson ---> Fury's had a rough show on Lockdown, getting beaten by a girl. Ha ha! A girl! That's hilarious! Anyway, tonight he goes one on one with a man who has enjoyed quite a bit of tag success recently - let's see if he can still bring his singles game. Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4500 Send to: The Superstar -=-=-=-=- Opening Bout David Cross vs. Stryke ---> Two crowd favorites, just wrestling to put on a good show. What's wrong with that? NOTHING. Rules: Standard singles match. Word Limit: 4000 Send to: chirs3 -=-=-=-=- Opening Promo: Unclaimed! -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- (Send all promos, marked matches, etc. to chirs3...) -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Booked very late. Need sleep. I promise, full descriptions and markers will be edited in after work tomorrow. My sincerest apologies for the lateness and all.

Ooooh. Ok. No, I didn't do that. You're supposed to double-tag it, you doofus.

I use the Fast Reply option - I didn't know that made a difference in formatting, though. I'll make sure to start using normal from now on. Sorry about that.

GRIUFCNJNCJWENJWNXJNWFJRIJIOEW You guys EVER write that many promos again, I'll murder every last one of you.

I hate to be a nit-pick... well, actually, I don't, but anyway... I think it was closer to "You need his love more than you need mine."

Correct. The woman was Sayid's little sweetheart, Nadia.

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the girl whose house Locke was inspecting. We've seen her before.

"Mad World", by Gary Jules. I'm having a hard time seeing what this show will be like week to week, and how it can be sustained for a long time. Nip/Tuck and (to a lesser extent) The Shield carry long story arcs against a "blank of the week" kind of backdrop (I don't regularly follow Rescue Me, so I can't draw any comparisons there), but Thief looks like it's just building up to the one big job - are the next ten episodes just going to be building up to that? I'm not complaining... yet... just curious as to what kind of formula it will follow, or even if it will follow one at all. On a more positive note, this beat the everloving shit out of the Heist premier. I doubt this comes as a shock to anyone, but still.

I really hope Audrey turns out to be dirty after all. Especially since CTU's cleared her. So, are the last 8 hours just going to be a big Christopher Henderson manhunt, or what?

.... I can't top that. So I'll just say Happy Birthday, Mark!

A side of Amy Stephens you've never seen before.

I mean, haven't we all wondered what Exploding Chicken is up to these days? Chris Raynor Chris works with the Chimala School of Preaching and leads evangelistic efforts in the Usangu Plains, which lie north, east and west of Chimala. I also sell garage doors. Bruce Blank - The shocking truth is revealed! Michael Cross - You never told us you had an art gallery! Looks... um... quaint? Tom Flesher's IBM Slideshow Wes Davenport - Famous actor, or drunken lout**? YOU DECIDE. ** near the bottom. Andrea Montgomery - Jewelry Designer? BELIEVE IT. And just in case anyone out there didn't believe us when we said Bobby Riley was gay.

My original plan for the LSU House Rules was a "First to get mauled by Mike the Tiger loses" match, but honestly, I thought the Fever Pitch thing was a pretty neat idea. Most hardcore matches boil down to beating your opponent in the head with something heavy - here they were trying to not only keep their opponents conscious, but work in creative new ways to abuse weapons and submissions to make them scream... seemed like fun. I hope the writers didn't mind...

JUDGE~! TWENTY TWO~! ... kinda sucks, having to follow up twenty one like that. Poor twenty two never gets a fair shake.

Didn't watch the preview, so this may be common knowledge, but I'm guessing the German op sells Bauer out to the Chinese. And I'm also guessing that Audrey is dirty, though they'll try to pull a Nina and fake us out as long as they can.

Also note, that since this is my hometown, any and all positive/flattering/suck-upping references to Chris Raynor will be awarded bonus points. However, no bonus points will be awarded for using the Death Valley Driver.