alfdogg

Reasons All-Star Fan Balloting is a joke, v. 2009 Exhibit A Player Votes LeBron James (Clev) 1,259,764 Kevin Garnett (Bos) 905,506 Yi Jianlian (NJ) 762,162 Chris Bosh (Tor) 500,700 Paul Pierce (Bos) 313,474 Which of these is not like the others? Exhibit B Tracy McGrady is currently slated to start. Again. Even though his production has declined the last three years and he can't stay healthy. But hey, Chris Paul can't throw alley-oops to himself, so who needs him, I guess. Exhibit C Brandon Roy is ninth among West guards. Jason Terry and Rafer Alston have more votes than Brandon Roy does. What the hell are these people watching?

Sun, Dec. 28 Denver @ New York, 1:00 Dallas @ LA Clippers, 3:30 Miami @ Cleveland, 7:00 New Orleans @ Indiana, 7:00 NBATV Boston @ Sacramento, 9:00 Golden State @ LA Lakers, 9:30 Mon, Dec. 29 Denver @ Atlanta, 7:00 Orlando @ Detroit, 7:30 NBATV Chicago @ New Jersey, 7:30 Memphis @ Minnesota, 8:00 Phoenix @ Oklahoma City, 8:00 Washington @ Houston, 8:30 Philadelphia @ Utah, 9:00 Toronto @ Golden State, 10:30 NBATV Tue, Dec. 30 New York @ Charlotte, 7:00 Atlanta @ Indiana, 7:00 Cleveland @ Miami, 7:30 Phoenix @ Memphis, 8:00 Washington @ New Orleans, 8:00 Minnesota @ Dallas, 8:30 Milwaukee @ San Antonio, 8:30 Boston @ Portland, 10:00 LA Clippers @ Sacramento, 10:00 Wed, Dec. 31 Orlando @ Chicago, 2:00 New Jersey @ Detroit, 3:00 Milwaukee @ Houston, 7:00 Denver @ Toronto, 7:00 NBATV Golden State @ Oklahoma City, 8:00 Philadelphia @ LA Clippers, 9:30 Fri, Jan. 2 Miami @ Orlando, 7:00 Houston @ Toronto, 7:00 Washington @ Boston, 7:30 Chicago @ Cleveland, 7:30 Atlanta @ New Jersey, 7:30 Indiana @ New York, 7:30 NBATV Sacramento @ Detroit, 8:00 San Antonio @ Memphis, 8:00 Golden State @ Minnesota, 8:00 Denver @ Oklahoma City, 8:00 Philadelphia @ Dallas, 8:30 Charlotte @ Milwaukee, 8:30 LA Clippers @ Phoenix, 9:00 New Orleans @ Portland, 10:00 Utah @ LA Lakers, 10:30 Sat, Jan. 3 Houston @ Atlanta, 7:00 Milwaukee @ Charlotte, 7:00 Sacramento @ Indiana, 7:00 New Jersey @ Miami, 7:30 Minnesota @ Chicago, 8:30 Philadelphia @ San Antonio, 8:30 NBATV New Orleans @ Denver, 9:00

The Grizzlies have the Spurs in double OT right now. Now I don't feel so bad about losing to them without having Danny Granger in the second half.

[i]Oh No[/i] by Mos Def, Nate Dogg, and Pharoahe Monche hits, and Todd Cortez makes his way through the curtains. COLE And here comes Todd Cortez, as he gets one more crack at Alfdogg's United States title! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! If the champion is disqualified or counted out, the championship WILL change hands! Introducing first, the challenger, hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, weighing in at 226 pounds...representing Cucaracha Internacional, he is the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! COLE And you can see Cortez limping noticeably as a result of that heinous attack by the Deadly Alliance two weeks ago, Sandman bringing out a PORCUPINE to attack Cortez's knee! Josie Baker told Cortez he could have a rematch if he was up to it tonight, and here he is! Cortez waits in the ring, as [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg makes his way through the curtains. BUFFER [i]His opponent...weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST United States champion...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!![/i] Alf rolls into the ring and raises his belt in the air, drawing boos. The referee checks Cortez, then checks Alf, who then gives the referee his belt. The referee raises Alf's belt in the air, then calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf and Cortez circle the ring, then tie up. Alf takes Cortez down in a side headlock, but Cortez quickly grabs Alf in a headscissors. Alf kips up to escape, then taunts Cortez. COLE Some wrestling here to start us off! COACH Well, I think if it comes down to a wrestling match, you'd have to give the advantage to Alf! COLE And remember, if Alf is disqualified or counted out here, he loses the title! The two tie up once again, and this time Cortez goes behind, then takes Alf down by the legs, and starts to grind his face into the mat! Alf gets to his feet and goes after Cortez, who catches him with an armdrag! Alf rolls to the outside to regroup! COLE Alf frustrated over that last sequence! Alf slides back into the ring, and goes in to tie up, but delivers a thumb to the eye instead. He then wrings the arm, and takes Cortez down to the mat, switching to a standing wristlock. Alf then lightly kicks Cortez in the head a couple times. COACH And that's insult to injury right there, Cole! Cortez fights his way to his feet, then backs Alf into the ropes and whips him across. Alf takes down Cortez with a shouldercheck, then hops over him. Cortez leapfrogs Alf, then catches him with a monkeyflip! Cortez gets to his feet, and clotheslines Alf to the floor! COLE And Alf to the outside once again! Cortez follows Alf out, then grabs him and tosses him back inside. Cortez follows Alf in, then takes him down from behind with a neckbreaker! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez then catches Alf with an armdrag, then bars the arm. Alf works his way to his feet, then backs Cortez into the ropes and shoves him across. Cortez ducks a clothesline, then catches Alf with a crucifix! 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez sets up Alf for an Irish whip, but Alf reverses. Alf drops down, then leapfrogs Cortez, before catching him with a SPINNING WHEEL KICK~! COLE Big kick from Alf! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf stomps away on Cortez, until Cortez rolls to the outside. Alf follows Cortez outside, then scoops him up, and rams his lower back into the ringpost! COLE Cortez back-first into the post! Alf rolls Cortez back inside, then whips him into the ropes, and catches him in a sleeper! COLE Submission hold applied! Alf positions Cortez in mid-ring, and Cortez slowly fades. The referee checks the arm... 1!!! 2!!! ...but Cortez holds through! Cortez pulls himself up, then delivers an elbow to the gut! And another! And a third! Alf releases the hold, then Cortez runs to the ropes. Alf drops down, then comes up and catches Cortez in a AA SPINEBUSTER~! COACH Yeah! COLE Beautiful recovery by Alf! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE But Cortez not out of it yet! Alf backs Cortez into a corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf attempts an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses. Alf hops to the second rope, and comes off with a bodypress...but Cortez rolls through! 1... 2... NO! Kickout! COLE And Cortez almost able to sneak out of here with the title! Alf gets to his feet first, then catches Cortez with another CHOP~!, knocking Cortez right back down to the mat! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf scoops up Cortez, but Cortez slips behind, and goes for a slam of his own, but Alf falls on top! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE I think Cortez's knee may have given out on him on that slam attempt! Alf goes to the floor with the momentum, but quickly climbs back onto the apron. Cortez tries to suplex him back inside, but Alf floats over, then executes a GERMAN SUPLEX~! 1... 2... Kickout! COACH Almost! COLE VERY close call there! Alf executes a snap legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf complains to the referee about the count, which gets him nowhere. He then attempts a suplex...but Cortez counters into a small package! 1... 2... Kickout! COLE Another close one for Cortez! Alf delivers another CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then attempts an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses. Cortez attempts a tilt-a-whirl, but Alf spins through to his feet, then scoops up Cortez, and plants him with a TOMBSTONE~! COLE Tombstone piledriver! COACH That is IT! Alf makes his way over to the corner, and starts his climb. COACH No, THIS is it! Alf gets his balance, and attempts the FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH~!!!!!11111...but Cortez rolls out of the way! COLE But nobody home! With both men down, the referee begins a count. 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! Cortez sits up, then turns to his side, then Alf does the same. Alf goes after Cortez...but gets caught in the CROTCH DROPPAH~! COLE Cortez with that inverted atomic drop! Cortez backs into the ropes, and floors Alf with a clothesline! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez follows with an STO~! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Shoulder up! Cortez picks Alf up, and delivers a foot to the gut, then follows with the URBAN ASSAULT~! COLE The Urban Assault! That could do it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE WOW! How close was that! Alf tries to crawl to the outside, but Cortez grabs him by his foot. Alf pulls himself up by the ropes, then floors Cortez with an ENZIGURI~! COACH What a move! Cover... 1... 2... NO! Cortez gets the shoulder up! Alf then picks up Cortez in an atomic drop, then sets him up on the top rope, pulling him back into a tree of woe! COLE And that injured knee of Cortez hung up in the ropes! Alf kicks away at Cortez as the referee lays a count on, then backs off. Alf lets the referee free Cortez, while taunting the crowd, to their negative reaction. Once Cortez is free, Alf moves in, taking him over with a BELLY-TO-BELLY~! COLE Alf setting up the big kill! Alf follows up with a T-BONE~!!, then rolls through to the legs of Cortez, and hooks him in a FIGURE-FOUR~! COLE And a figure-four locked in by Alf! Cortez holds his face in his hands, as Alf locks in the hold. COACH Cortez has got to give it up here, I think! His career could be at stake! Cortez lays on his back. 1... 2... Cortez springs up, then lifts his right arm in the air and spins it around, as the crowd gets on his side! COLE And Cortez could be trying to reverse this, Coach! Cortez lets out a yell, as he turns the hold over! COLE And the hold is reversed! Alf gets to the ropes, then turns the hold back over, using the ropes for leverage until the referee's count reaches four, at which point he breaks. Cortez moves to a corner, where Alf continues to work on the knee, then picks Cortez up...but Cortez lands an ENZIGURI~! COLE And Cortez with an enziguri now! Cortez lays on the mat for a few seconds, then pulls himself up, and whips Alf hard into the corner! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Alf gets the shoulder up! Cortez picks up Alf, and executes a Russian legsweep, followed by a legdrop! Cover... 1... 2... Shoulder up! Cortez gets up and waits on Alf, then delivers the SITOUT SPINEBUSTER~! Cover... 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COLE Cortez coming so close! You get the feeling that one more big move could put Alf away! COACH Come on, Alf! Cortez picks Alf up, and delivers a CROTCH-DROPPAH~!, followed by the HOLLOW POINT~! COLE And that could be it! 1... 2... NO!!! Shoulder up! COACH And now you've got to give some credit to Alf here, taking some of the best moves of Todd Cortez and still fighting! COLE Absolutely, that's why he's a former two-time World champion, and the reigning US champion! Cortez hammers away on Alf, who takes a big swing, which Cortez ducks, and hooks him in a sleeper! However, Alf gets to the ropes, and as the referee attempts to break the hold, kicks him leg up between the legs of Cortez! COLE And a low blow by Alf! The referee didn't see it! Alf turns to Cortez, and hooks him in the SHARPSHOOTER~!!!!!11111 COLE And now Alf with the Sharpshooter! Cortez is in tremendous pain, but fights his way over, and reaches the ropes! COLE And Cortez to the ropes! What a match! Alf hammers away on Cortez in the corner, then picks him up and sets him on the top. Alf starts to follow him up, but Cortez counters with right hands, then grabs him in a front facelock, and lifts him in a suplex, dropping him face-first to the mat! COLE Alf going face-first right down to the mat! As Alf tries to get to his feet, Cortez slides down, jumps on Alf's head...and executes the RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!!!11111 COACH Oh no! COLE He got it! Cover... 1... 2... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE NEW CHAMPION!!! COACH Damn it! BUFFER [i]Ladies and gentlemen...the winner of the match...and NEWWWWWWWWW OAOAST United States champion...TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!![/i] COLE Todd Cortez has done it! Injured knee and all, Todd Cortez has kicked off the new year as the NEW United States champion! The referee presents Cortez the belt, and Cortez raises it high in the air, to the delight of the fans, while still hobbling on his bad knee. COLE The first singles title for Todd Cortez in the OAOAST! And you wonder if this will raise the respect level of Todd Cortez within Landon's stable! COACH I can't believe this. COLE Well, you better believe it, because it's official, Todd Cortez is the new OAOAST United States champion!

I'm not sure that Philly is going to right the ship this season. Keep in mind Elton Brand is out for the next month or so. I know he was underachieving, but that's a big piece for that team. And they're another team that's gone through a coaching change. One thing to keep in mind about the Nets is that they've had a pretty easy schedule so far (.463 SOS, which is third-lowest in the league, behind Orlando and Miami). But I'm not going to take away from Harris's play. MVP is probably far-fetched, but he could definitely be at the All-Star game.

OAOAST United States title Alfdogg © vs Todd Cortez

The Spurs were really getting boned by that officiating crew, so that ending was only fitting. Great game. You know, the Pacers interviewed Stan Van Gundy before hiring Jim O'Brien. Is it wrong of me to start thinking they made the wrong choice, or should I give O'Brien some more time?

I'd actually rather play at San Diego than at Denver. I just don't feel that confident playing in that climate against a team that can score like Denver has shown they can. We couldn't manage an offensive TD against the goddamn Cleveland Browns in that weather. Thankfully, they had no offense to speak of, but Denver does. That said, I kind of hope Denver wins, because I hate the Chargers and want to see them fail. Also, I don't really care to hear the "Philip Rivers for MVP" talk that's sure to follow a SD win.

Oakland Detroit Philadelphia N.Y. Giants Chicago New Orleans Atlanta Cincinnati Jacksonville Tennessee Pittsburgh Miami New England Seattle San Francisco San Diego Colts - 13

Pink Panther

And black people.

Count Duckula

Sorry guys. Harley did send me a PM, but I was in a hurry to get to work at the time, and just now remembered about it. I'll have my pick shortly.

Forgot about this last night. Mon, Dec. 22 Golden State @ Orlando, 7:00 Houston @ New Jersey, 7:30 LA Lakers @ Memphis, 8:00 Sacramento @ San Antonio, 8:30 Portland @ Denver, 9:00 Toronto @ LA Clippers, 10:30 NBATV Tue, Dec. 23 Oklahoma City @ Atlanta, 7:00 Washington @ Charlotte, 7:00 Houston @ Cleveland, 7:00 New Jersey @ Indiana, 7:00 Philadelphia @ Boston, 7:30 Golden State @ Miami, 7:30 Chicago @ Detroit, 8:00 Utah @ Milwaukee, 8:00 LA Lakers @ New Orleans, 8:00 NBATV Memphis @ Dallas, 8:30 Minnesota @ San Antonio, 8:30 Denver @ Portland, 10:00 Thu, Dec. 25 New Orleans @ Orlando, 12:00 ESPN San Antonio @ Phoenix, 2:30 ABC Boston @ LA Lakers, 5:00 ABC Washington @ Cleveland, 8:00 TNT Dallas @ Portland, 10:30 TNT Fri, Dec. 26 Chicago @ Miami, 5:00 ESPN Charlotte @ New Jersey, 7:30 Minnesota @ New York, 7:30 Oklahoma City @ Detroit, 8:00 Indiana @ Memphis, 8:00 Houston @ New Orleans, 8:00 Philadelphia @ Denver, 9:00 Dallas @ Utah, 9:00 Toronto @ Sacramento, 10:00 Boston @ Golden State, 10:30 NBATV Sat, Dec. 27 Chicago @ Atlanta, 7:00 New Jersey @ Charlotte, 7:00 Oklahoma City @ Washington, 7:00 Orlando @ Minnesota, 8:00 Utah @ Houston, 8:30 NBATV Detroit @ Milwaukee, 8:30 Memphis @ San Antonio, 8:30 Toronto @ Portland, 10:00 In today's games, it was Atlanta over Detroit, Boston over New York, Dallas over Washington and Cleveland over OKC.

What was that the referee just said about a "tie"? Is that possible?

...AHAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

you dumb fucking stupid nigger you should smash that god damn piece of shit its the gayest fucking system out there it got anal raped by the xbox 360 so the ps3 is the 360's bitch you little no balled cock fucking loser,your mother never loved you thats why she bought you that system that came out of a niggers asshole,grow some balls you stupid little virgin nigger fuck.

Granger, Troy Murphy and Marquis Daniels all came down with viral infections today and were hospitalized. Jim O'Brien said they'll probably miss the next game, too. That stuff's only supposed to happen before road games!

[i]Oh No[/i] by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoahe Monche hits, and the crowd gets to its feet as Todd Cortez comes through the curtains. COLE Todd Cortez, with another shot at Alfdogg, this time for the United States title! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER [i]The following no-disqualification contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST United States championship! Making his way to the ring, the challenger...hailing from Hollywood Boulevard, and weighing in at 226 pounds...representing Cucaracha Internacional...he is the URBAN LEGEND, TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODD COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZ ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!![/i] Cortez slides into the ring and waits patiently, as [i]Magnum Opus[/i] hits, and Alfdogg walks through the curtain, wearing the United States title belt around his waist. BUFFER [i]His opponent...weighing in at 237 pounds...he is the leader of the Deadly Alliance, and the REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST United States champion...ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLFFFFFFFFFFFFFFDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGG!!!!![/i] COLE And of course, at November Reign, Todd Cortez able to eliminate Alfdogg from their elimination match, getting a pinfall after the Riot Act Plus! He fought valiantly, but Sandman9000 was the survivor of that match, thanks to Alf! Alf steps into the ring and removes his belt, raising it into the main camera, to the boos of the crowd. He then hands it to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Alf meets Cortez in mid-ring, talking trash to him, then the two begin to exchange blows. COLE And a slugfest developing from the start! Cortez begins to get the better of the exchange, but Alf delivers a foot to the gut. Alf then drags Cortez into the corner, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf sets up an Irish whip, but Cortez reverses, then follows Alf, who slings himself into the air, but Cortez stops and Alf lands right in front of him, and gets floored with a clothesline! COLE Nice presence of mind by Cortez, stopping himself and catching Alf with that clothesline! Cortez covers... 1... 2... Kickout! Cortez stomps Alf, who rolls out of the ring. Cortez follows, and rams Alf's face into the apron! COLE And now Cortez taking it to the outside! Alf tries to get away from Cortez, who comes from behind and shoves him into the post! Cortez grabs Alf by the foot, as Alf goes under the ring, and drags a chair with him as Cortez drags Alf back. Alf gets to his knees, then jams Cortez in the gut with the chair! COACH Alf got a hold of a chair, and now using it to his advantage! Cortez doubles over, and Alf gets to his feet, then brings it down across his back! COLE And Alf is right in his element right now! Alf rolls Cortez back inside, and follows him in, bringing the chair down on his back again! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Alf tosses Cortez to the outside, and follows him, hammering away on him on the guardrail, then delivering a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! Alf then backs up, and charges Cortez...but Cortez ducks, and backdrops him into the crowd! COLE And they're into the stands here in Kansas City! Cortez delivers right hands to Alf, who tries to get away. As security guards tries to keep the fans back, Alf pulls one in the way, then reaches over him and lands a cheap shot on Cortez! COACH Alf using everything to his advantage! Alf delivers a kick to the gut, then sets up a suplex. COLE And Alf setting up a suplex on the floor! Cortez blocks, then blocks again, and delivers a suplex of his own! COACH Oh, no! COLE But Cortez counters to one of his own! Alf holds his back, then starts to crawl away, with Cortez in pursuit. Alf then gets to his feet, and walks through a curtain into the backstage area, and Cortez follows. Cortez catches up to Alf, and tosses him onto a table with various deli trays/coffee/etc. Cortez then makes his way to a broom closet, and opens it up, to find... [b]RICKY CALDWELL???[/b] [img=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v197/alfdogg/garbageday.jpg] [color=blue][b][size=7]GARBAGE DAY!!![/color][/b][/size] ...just kidding. in reality, Thunderkid is inside, and busts a mop handle over Cortez's head! COLE HEY! This was a setup! TK stomps away on Cortez, and Reject comes into the picture shortly after, stomping away, as well. COACH The tag team champions to the rescue! I love it! And there's no DQ's, Cole! Alf slowly gets off the table, then drags it out away from the wall. After he does, TK and Reject lift Cortez up in a double team spinebuster, DRIVING HIM THROUGH THE TABLE~! COLE And Todd Cortez put through the table! Alf then calls down the hall, and Sandman can be seen walking some sort of animal. COLE It's Sandman9000, but what does he have with him? COACH What is that, some kind of animal...is that a PORCUPINE? Indeed, it is a porcupine, as Sandman walks it onto the scene. COLE I've never seen a porcupine that big! COACH What are they doing with it here, though? COLE I can only shudder to think. Sandman, holding the leash with his right hand, lifts the porcupine and strokes it with his hand a couple times...then TOSSES IT DOWN ONTO THE KNEE OF CORTEZ!!! COLE NO! The porcupine begins going crazy, leaving several of its huge quills embedded into the right knee of Todd Cortez! After a few seconds of this, Sandman pulls the porcupine off, as it hisses at the fallen Cortez, screaming in agony. COACH Wow...I've never seen anything like this, Cole. COLE I mean, who knows...those things could be poisonous! EMTs and backstage officials pour backstage to back the DA off and tend to Cortez, as Sandman moves the porcupine towards some of the EMTs, then pulls it back quickly, much to his amusement. COLE And this obviously a setup by Alf and the Deadly Alliance...this is just heinous. COACH Well, Cortez agreed to make this a no-DQ match, and Alf said, you better think about it before giving the DA a license to do whatever they want! COLE But I don't think he had in mind the possibility of being attacked by a rabid animal! EMTs quickly lift Cortez onto a cot in the back of an ambulence, and get inside, then depart the arena. COLE Well folks...hopefully we'll get an update on the condition of Todd Cortez as soon as possible, but who knows what could be in his future after what we just saw.

Sack. Game over. From 3-4 to 11-4, and the Colts are in. You know what this calls for.

Fuck you, Dominic Rhodes.

[i]The Wall[/i] by Kansas plays, and Alfdogg walks out, followed by the rest of the Deadly Alliance. COLE And here comes the Deadly Alliance, obviously with some things to say! And considering what happened to Tha Puerto Rican last week, I'd say they do in fact have some explaining to do! COACH Oh man, last week was one of the greatest experiences of my life! COLE You finally got to see a woman naked? COACH No! Because Tha Puerto Rican is gone at last, thanks to the Deadly Alliance's newest member, Mr. Dick! COLE Well, hang in there, sport, your day will come eventually. Melissa Nerdly walks around to the timekeepers' table and grabs a microphone, then steps into the ring. MELISSA Melissa Nerdly here! And I'm conducting an interview with the hottest stable in the OAOAST...no, make that in the HISTORY of WRESTLING...the Deadly Alliance! *crowd boos* MELISSA Which includes the World tag team champions, Thunderkid and Reject! *crowd boos* Melissa walks up and puts her arm around Reject, who responds in kind. MELISSA Hey babe. The Anderson Cup's coming up. What do you guys think? REJECT Ah yes, the Anderson Cup. 16 of the finest teams the OAOAST has to offer, competing in a tournament in which the "prize" is a shot at me and Thunderkid. TK "To the victor goes the spoils?" I don't think this is what they had in mind. REJECT Not that it matters, since we've already mowed down all the teams in this baby...except for one team which just so happens to be representing our stable, and are just in it for the trophy! COLE Reject of course referring to Mr. Dick and Malaysia. REJECT (arm around Melissa) Say, you two wouldn't have a problem..."sharing" the trophy with us on occasion? ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- (You can stick Mr. Dick's part right here if you want, Tony) ----------------------------------------------------------------------------- MELISSA Now then, Alf...let's talk about this PRL thing a little further. ALF Absolutely. You know, a lot of people may not believe this, but I happen to think that when it was all said and done, PRL was a tremendous fighting champion. As much as I hate to admit it, he did manage some victories over yours truly, so he must have been doing something right! *crowd boos* ALF And I did give him his props after the Halloween Spectacular, when he scored his first LEGIT victory over me. He gained a lot of respect from me that night...but in the weeks that followed, a remarkable thing happened to this man. You know, Melissa, I know as well as anyone that the drive for the belt can do strange things to a man. And just to watch PRL go out there and disrespect, and degrade Leon Rodez...not like you can grade him much lower, but that's beside the point! Melissa laughs. ALF My point is, that after all these months of PRL running with this facade...PRL became the very non-believer that he made a career out of proving wrong. *crowd boos* ALF When I saw him doing these interview bits with Leon, running him down...it was like a flashback to about nine months ago, when PRL was standing on the other side fuming, and Popick was holding that mic! And we all know how that turned out...Popick hasn't been heard from since. COLE Thank God. ALF So, I thought it was only fair that PRL met the same fate. And what a better way to initiate our newest member, than to bestow this honor upon him? ...the Conquistador stuff was kind of weird, but Mr. Dick did the Deadly Alliance proud! *crowd boos* MELISSA Now, let's talk about tonight, you defend your United States title in a no-DQ match against Todd Cortez. You know, he got that flukey pin on you at November Reign, so I guess that makes him worthy of a title shot or something. ALF You know, I just laughed when I heard that Cortez asked for the no-DQ stipulation. Cortez, you better think it through before you tell the Deadly Alliance "no disqualification." You see, we're here in Kansas City! *crowd cheers* ALF And all you have to do is ask Joe Montana...this is where careers come to die. *crowd boos* ALF And you just might find that out the hard way tonight. [i]The Wall[/i] plays, as the DA departs. COLE It should be an exciting match tonight, US title on the line, Alfdogg vs Todd Cortez! Let's go to...

Actually, it's the other way around. Phoenix has beat Portland 11 in a row, including twice this season.

Nene dunks on Yao