Actually cleaning out my old messages in my in-box, and found a promo Zack sent me for an IZ when I actually used to do things. I think. I doubt Zack even remembers that he wrote this.
From July 22, 2002:
The theme from "Austin Powers" plays over the P.A. system, and The In Crowd video flashes on the Angle-Tron.
Tony:"It's time, JR! Here's comes this week's popularity promo!"
The In Crowd make their way down the ramp, each member dressed like Austin Powers, except for Alison, who's looking rather "shagadelic". Fans pop like crazy as The Best Damn Thing Going Today climb into the ring. Superstar hops up on the turnbuckles, raising his arms up, while Zack Malibu stands in the center ring, soaking up the cheers. EfDDT and Alison are laughing about something, and as the music fades, all 4 members gather in the center of the ring.
Austin Malibu:"Oh yeeeah baby, The In Crowd has arrived!"
-pop from crowd-
Austin Malibu:"You see, this week, we're undercover baby...there's a supersecret organization of suckiness that has to be dealt with, before they spread their vial disease of ineptitude amongst the world, baby!"
'Flow Powers:"Oh behave, Mr. Malibu! It's no secret man, that we're talking about The Deadly Alliance!"
Austin Malibu:"Ah yes, well...IT'S NOT A SECRET NOW, AGENT FLOW! Sheesh...always spoiling thin...anyways, yeah baby, The Deadly Alliance are evil baby, they..."
Zack starts cracking up and "breaking character".
Super Austin Star Powers:"Zack, what's up...did you forget your line?"
Malibu:"I'm sorry man...it's just...The Deadly Alliance? They're supposed to be this big, badass group, and that's the best name they came up with? That sounds like a group that Snidley and Muttley would have had on Hanna Barbera cartoons!"
All In Crowd members laugh.
'Flow:"Hehe, yeah, it'd be like this..."
-snaps his fingers. Unknown individual comes out from under the ring, and does the EVIL LAUGH~! He then exits the ring, and walks away through the crowd.-
'Flow:"I love that!"
Malibu:"Who IS that?"
'Flow:"I...uh...I don't know..."
Superstar:"So are we still doing the Austin Powers gag, or is this just a regular promo?"
Malibu:"Good point...I mean...YEAH BABY, It's the totally randy, supremely shagadelic In Crowd baby, here to save the world from The Deadly...The Dead...pffft..."
Zack again starts laughing.
Malibu:"Oh man, that name...that name just SUCKS! What, did you open up the Generic Wrestling Villain handbook and find that, or did your little pea brains actually sit there and discuss this seriously?"
Superstar:"Yeah, it's like 'Hi, my name is Sandman, and I think that our name should be the Deathcore Barbed Wire Warriors!"
'Flow:"Or Alfdogg could have been like 'No, no, no, our name is going to be Alf and his Dogg Pound!"
-more laughter-
Malibu:"They couldn't do that because of copyright laws...remember Alf on TV, that little brown furry dude."
Superstar:"Oh, that was a dude, I thought that was his mom!"
Alison:"Look boys, I don't know about you, but I'm feeling a little horny baby, yeeeeah!"
The In Crowd members look at their valet in disbelief. Evenflow's jaw drops.
'Flow:"Did you just say that in front of ALL THESE PEOPLE!?!?"
Alison:"I was TRYING to save this Austin Powers promo, honey!"
'Flow:"Ooooh!"
Evenflow wipes the sweat of his brow.
Superstar:"All right, Austin Malibu, maybe it's time you took us home?"
Malibu:"Right. So anyways baby, this Deadly Alliance, they've threatened us with World Domination baby, and no one wants to see them in charge. They're bad baby, very bad. So we special agents plan on traveling back in time to stop these menaces from growing up to so rotten, baby. We're going to...we're...dude, what ARE we going to do?"
'Flow:"I don't know. I'm still in shock over Ally's horny comment."
Malibu:"OK, jokes over. Hey, Alfdogg, I hope you've been listening. I hope you think what you see is funny, because while The In Crowd is all about entertainment, there won't be anything funny when we meet. We might be dressed up like Austin Powers now, but I guarantee I'm not chasing a Goldmember, I'm just chasing gold...specifically, yours. I might've lost the first time, but I won't lose again. Zack Malibu and The In Crowd refuse to be denied their destiny, and it continues tonight. Reject, man, you've proven your just that. Desperate for acceptance, you tried to help us. You wanted a spot in The In Crowd, a spot in our family. You didn't get it, so you tuck your tail between your legs and run to the Gay Pride Alliance and...
Superstar:"I GOT IT! I know who Sandman is!"
Malibu, Evenflow and Alison:"WHAT?!?!"
Superstar:"Dude, this whole Sandman thing is a front. He's ERIK WATTS!"
Malibu:"You mean the super sucky son of our new commisioner, vice pres...whatever, Cowboy Bill Watts?"
Superstar:"Yeah, I mean, think. He's a sucky wrestler...that's Erik Watts. And this whole lightbulb obsession...lightbulbs...WATTS...get it...?
The rest of The In Crowd just look at Superstar, jaws dropped.
Superstar:"OK, so maybe I think too much. But at least it made sense!"
Malibu:"Superstar, you're too much. Bottom line...Deadly Alliance, watch out, because The In Crowd has your number!"
Evenflow:"What's their number? I'll have to put it in my rolodex."
Malibu:"Not literally!"
Evenflow:"Dude, just playin'!"
Superstar comes over and whispers to his partners. They have a quick chuckle.
Malibu:"Actually, it's been brought to my attention that maybe, just maybe, we can be gentlemen for a second and salute you, The Deadly Alliance, because we do have your number...you're number one!"
Each In Crowd member turns and faces the AngleTron and entrance ramp, and proceeds to raise their middle fingers.
Malibu:"Now, I think it's time to go find some fembots baby, yeah! That promo made me a little randy in the candy, yeeeeeehah!"
Evenflow:"Dude, what are we talking about?"
Malibu:"I dunno. Maybe the British slang isn't for us."
Flow:"So, how do we end this?"
Malibu:"The only way we can...The In Crowd's not For Life, The In Crowd's not Forever...The In Crowd is just...
(Crowd chants along)
"FOR REAL!"
"Popular hits, and fans go wild, as their heroes exit the ring after another trademark Super-Sweet promo.
Friendly reminder to you n00bs that even the bestes of writers have to start somewhere.
I guess that means something...
