Mr. S£im Citrus

Am I being whooshed? Fuck do you mean "Of course they're the Jonas Brothers," like it's blatantly obvious? I couldn't have picked those three fucks out of a lineup.

0-27.

Wait, back up: who the hell gave Hillbilly Jim a radio show?

... And they show their appreciation by getting worked by Marcin F. Gortat...

I'm not too thrilled with the way Artest set my team's rebuild back by two years, but anything that pisses off lakers fans is aces with me.

Yes. Extension is good. I've got all of my portion of our match plotted out, some of it even typed... but a recent discipline issue with my son has occupied all of my writing time the last week or so.

I've been to every state west of New Jersey, except for Alaska. Countries I've been to (in chronological order): Mexico, Italy, Greece, Spain, France, Tunisia, Turkey, England, Canada, US Virgin Islands (St. Thomas/St. Croix), Puerto Rico, UAE, Iraq, Guam, Thailand, Singapore. Least favorite state to visit: New Jersey. least favorite country to visit: France.

I can whistle, but not the fingers-in-mouth way.

I'm Bruner, Thoth; send it to me. I only log into that profile when I need to make changes to the stats.

I decline to name the person I'd really want to kill, due to pending legal action, so I'll put the person who's number-two on my shit list: Stephon Marbury.

I recall him pinning Beefcake at the first Survivor Series after SRR but, aside from that, I can't remember.

The year that Sacramento "would have won it all," had Webber not blown out his knee, blah, blah, blah, the Kings were #2 in the league in point differential, #1 in Opponent's FG%, and #1 in Opponent's 3FG% (the latter two of which are generally acknowledged as reliable indicators of true defensive effort). They were also #2 in the league in Defensive Rating, according to basketball-reference.com, which is a measure of points allowed per 100 possessions. The year that the Suns "would have won it all," were it not for the suspensions, blah, blah, blah, they were ranked #2, #17, #9, and #13 in those same categories, respectively. The Kings played defense, the Suns didn't; I'll thank you kindly not to compare the two.

Egad.

Did Rock ever use "It doesn't matter" before the Billy Gunn promo?

That's certainly fair criticism. I'm personally pleased with the match I wrote against MANSON; I think I did well enough having Bruner sell for him. But yeah, Taiga (kayfabe-wise) pretty much had no chance.

:: Bruner and Nunez are hanging out in front of a barber shop in Brooklyn :: "Yo, what you fin'ta do with that crane?" "... Nuthin'..."

Dwight Fuck Howard.

Is there any reason in particular you'd immediately go with the disclaimer that you promise not to hurt your tag team partner? Got a bit of the Shawn Michaels in you, eh? Fuck, man, go for it.

I should be able to write as Bruner.

I take nothing away from Guerrero as a worker but, aside from appreciating his ring work, I was never an "Eddy mark," to speak of. I can't think of any feud, off the top of my head, where I was rooting for a heel Guerrero over the other guy. And, with the exception of whichever heel was feuding against Hogan, I can't think of any other feud where I did, either.

I gotta beg to differ with that, Toxxic: in the first place, I rather liked the match that Mad Scientist wrote to beat me in the CFC, and I think it establishes well enough that a mat wrestler can beat a big man like Bruner. Granted, there really any other wrestlers in the SWF right now that are of Alexander's character, but you need to take that up with the other writers. ( ) In the second place, I disagree with your assessment of Bruner's mobility; as mentioned in Bruner's bio, he used to play (American) football, so I would venture to say that he's pretty mobile in his own right. More mobile, in fact, than Taiga's characterization leads me to believe that she is; at least, that was my interpretation. Greg Valentine might have been able to outmaneuver Bam Bam Bigelow, but I wouldn't have wanted to bet on it, and I wouldn't have bet on Taiga being able to outmaneuver Bruner.

I applied simple pro-wrestling logic for that: The referee allowing a match to go out into the crowd without counting both guys out, or issuing a disqualification for what happens outside the ring is well established in precedent. I can cite matches going as far back as '85 as establishing precedent for the latter, and I can go at least as far back as '97 as establishing precedent for the former. As to the explanation that was given on commentary, I'll grant that I haven't seen it much in WWE (or perhaps not even in WCW, at least, that I can immediately recall), but in TNA and the limited experience that I have in watching indy shows, whenever a match ends in a double-disqualification, the fans, rather vociferously, shit all over it. As the SWF has ostensibly been reduced to "the number one indy fed in the world," it makes perfect sense, from my perspective, for the referee to recognize that giving the live crowd a double-DQ result in a match that was barely five minutes in as it was, would be very bad for future business, especially given the relative size of the crowd. And, since the SWF primarily caters to a "smark" crowd, it makes just as much sense (to me, at least) that the announcers would want to put over that fact on commentary, in a "In the SWF, we give the fans what they want, and we don't cheat them out of the matches they paid for" kind of way. Yeah... that was never going to happen; when the card was first posted, the very first thought that popped into my head was Andre/Jake from WMV. And then, when I found out that Taiga had this super-heavyweight accompany her to the ring, my thoughts went to: 1 - Bruner's not only bigger and stronger than Taiga, but also faster, and Taiga has neither the benefit of being able to outwrestle him, nor the pedigree (pun intended) of a "cerebral assassin," so to speak. How do I make it "believable" that she can even make him break a sweat? Answer: Chair = Teh Grate Equh-lizuh! I've got to put her in her element and, since her element is brawling, the only "believable" way that she could brawl with Bruner is if she had help. Since I couldn't reconcile her being able to use a chair within the framework of the in-ring action, I had to take the match outside. Maybe Taiga will ask for a no-DQ rematch, and we won't have to worry about such things. 2 - How can I get the fat guy involved without him actually getting in the ring? Answer: brawl in the stands. Besides which, I made it a point to not have Gordo really get physical with Bruner, anyway. Foreign object or not, I wanted it to be as much of Taiga versus Bruner as possible and, if you re-read the match, you'll notice that Gordo never actually hit Bruner, at least, not by his own initiative.

Why? I mean, I was a teenager for the majority of Hogan's run in WWE, and I didn't like Hulk Hogan in particular (mostly because he was a "face" who got cheered for heelish behavior) but, aside from that, I've pretty much always preferred faces over heels.

Okay, I give up... I need some help/feedback here: I'm almost thirty-four, male, straight, I like Cena, and I don't like Edge. What is it that I'm just not getting? I ask this because the last two or so pages of the NWO thread gave me a headache, and I'm tired of not grokking why most everybody here seems to feel that Edge is the best thing going in pro wrestling today. I mean... what the hell?

If anything astonishes me more than the fact that an SWF legend is in his early thirties, it's that 1) I was around when he was still an active writer, and 2) I'm older than he is. In fact, I think Bruce Blank might have had me by a couple of weeks, but otherwise it was GSMS, Blank, me, and then everybody else, IIRC. Damn, here I am, finally writing a heel, and I don't even do anything for Kingmas... :: knocks Landon out and takes his candy ::