Ed Wood Caulfield

Okay then. We've got everything. I've just gotta finish Heat/Riggs, so everyone pray that I have the show up and posted before midnight okay?

Yeah, I was about to ask where was the main event? Even if I was done with Heat/Riggs, which I'm not, but even if I was done, I didn't really want to post the show without a main event. So yeah, thanks for the update. And where's Patty anyway?

TV-14 L,V * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! We fade in on a beach in California. People are shown having a good time. Tropical music plays. NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE IT'S SUMMERTIME! WHICH MEANS FUN AT THE BEACH! Cut to three buxom blondes walking down the beach wearing bikinis. NOT-VINCE BEAUTIFUL BABES WEARING VERY LITTLE CLOTHING! Cut to a what is presumbly a shot of a bunch of college kids getting drunk during Spring Break, but for the sake of this segment, we'll pretend it's summer. NOT-VINCE AND MEMORIES THAT'LL LAST A LIFETIME! Cut to a shot of Big Ben. A majestic royal horn plays. We then return to the tropical music. NOT-VINCE TONIGHT, THE OAOAST TRAVELS TO LONDON, ENGLAND... Cut to Colombian Heat walking down the entrance ramp. NOT-VINCE WHERE YOU'LL SEE FUN AT THE BEACH! (Not really.) Cut to shots of Chicks Over Dicks and Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez walking down the entrance ramp. NOT-VINCE BEAUTIFUL BABES WEARING VERY LITTLE CLOTHING! Cut to Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, Zack Malibu, and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican getting into a three-way yelling contest. NOT-VINCE AND MEMORIES THAT WILL LAST A LIFETIME! Cut to another shot of London, England. NOT-VINCE THE SUMMER'S JUST HEATING UP HERE IN THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD! IT'S TIME FOR ANOTHER EXCITING SATURDAY NIGHT EDITION OF OAOAST SYNDICATED! "ACROSS THE COUNTRY AND AROUND THE WORLD..." The OAOAST Syndicated theme song starts playing (have we settled on what it is yet, guys?). The OAOAST Syndicated logo fades away, replaced with a shot of the hyped up crowd at the O2 Arena in London, England. The camera does a wide pan of the sold out crowd inside the recently opened arena. Loyal British OAOAST fans are in attendance, holding up their handmade signs, mugging for the camera, and generally going wild as they are thrill to be having One And Only AngleSault Thread action in their own backyard. The set is the same as always: an AngleTron sitting on top of scaffolding, with only some curtains used for the wrestlers to enter through. However, since we're in England, there's also a little twist: two gigantic United Kingdom flags hang on both sides of the entrance. The following words appear on the top left hand corner of the screen: LONDON, ENGLAND TONY SCHIAVONE (Off-Screen) The OAOAST takes a trip across the pond as we continue the countdown to our annual summertime spectacular, AngleSlam! Welcome to another Saturday night edition of OAOAST Syndicated! SWOOP~ on down to our hosts for this evening, standing on top of the world famous OAOAST INTERVIEW STAGE~! More cheering fans are behind them. The OAOAST Syndicated theme song (whatever it is) dies down. TONY SCHIAVONE Hello everybody, I'm Tony Schiavone, and with me as always is the legendary Hall of Famer, former Governor of Minnesota, Jesse "The Body" Ventura! And fans, do not touch that dial AT ALL over the course of this program, because we have got one HELL of a show for you tonight! Isn't that right, Jess? JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA I'll tell ya what, Tony Schiavone! AngleSlam may be a month away, but we have got a card tonight that could conceiveably BE the AngleSlam card too! It's like we're being blessed with TWO AngleSlams in one year! SCHIAVONE It certainly feels that way, Jess. We always have something special planned for these primetime Syndicateds, and this one is no different. 5 excellent matches are planned for you tonight, including our main event, a "Dream Partner Tag Team Match". The three men who will collide for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at AngleSlam will be in action later on tonight as the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, teams up with his AngleSlam opponent, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, to take on the other man in the AngleSlam main event, Zack Malibu, and a partner of his choosing! And Jess, the lockerroom is abuzzed with just who Zack Malibu will pick for this GIGANTIC main event! VENTURA Zack has had some great partners in the past. Caboose, Leon Rodez, Evenflow, The Superstar. There's alot of hype as to who he picked to help him take on Tha Puerto Rican and Landon Maddix, two guys who personally can't stand each other, but who are teaming up in the hopes of making the Triple Threat Match at AngleSlam into an one-on-one encounter! SCHIAVONE It's all about Divide And Conquer in our main event. PRL and Maddix have agreed to put aside their differences in order to remove Zack Malibu from AngleSlam! But can they do it? Can they actually put Zack Malibu on the shelf and make him miss the 2007 AngleSlam? VENTURA Well, you never know, but if the Bruce Blank feud taught us anything about Zack Malibu, it's that as long as there's a breath in his body, he will fight! SCHIAVONE And that's a lesson Landon Maddix and Tha Puerto Rican need to take very seriously if they want to leave AngleSlam on August 26th the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. Speaking of AngleSlam, it may be five weeks away, but the card is already shaping up to be the biggest AngleSlam EVER! And two more matches may be added to that card tonight! Colombian Heat, the new OAOAST 24/7 Champion, will take on James Riggs in a non-title contest. However, if James Riggs wins, then he gets a 24/7 Title shot against Colombian Heat at AngleSlam. And we've also got the 16-man Battlebowl Battle Royal with the winner to meet Alfdogg for the WDW World Heavyweight Championship at AngleSlam on August 26th! VENTURA The WDW has folded, but the OAOAST has accepted all the wrestlers and the belts with open arms. And now tonight, 16 wrestlers from the OAOAST and WDW will duke it out in the squared circle, with the winner to meet a future OAOAST Hall of Famer in Alfdogg at AngleSlam from Madison Square Garden in New York City! Talk about a golden opprotunity right there! SCHIAVONE Indeed it is, Jess. Battlebowl qualifying matches were held all month long, and the Sweet 16 will rumble in the ring later on tonight! Just look at some of the names involved: "After Hours" Felix Strutter, Thunderkid, both members of Team Heyross, Jumbo, "Sensational" Chris Stevens, MISTER WARRIOR! VENTURA How did MISTER WARRIOR get involved in this!? SCHIAVONE He has his ways, Jess. He's not like us mere mortals! VENTURA SCHIAVONE ...Moving on. In addition to the matches just mentioned, we've also got TWO title matches scheduled for tonight, including one with a very unique stipulation. The OAOAST Six-Man Tag Team Championship will be on the line as the Champions, The Beverly Hills Blonds and Christopher Patrick Allen, CPA, take on the team of D*LUX and "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez! And then, are you ready for this one, Jess? VENTURA Oh yeah! I most certainly am, Tony Schiavone! SCHIAVONE Chicks Over Dicks will take on the team of Mackenzie DeCenzo and Jade Rodez in a Tag Team Bra And Panties Match for what is, at least currently, the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles! First time in OAOAST history that the Tag Team Titles will be defended in this type of a match-up, Jess. VENTURA Thank God all the participants involved are women! I am most looking forward to this one, Schiavone! Four of the most beautiful women on TV are going to be clawing at each other, trying to rip each others clothes off, all for the tag team gold! It combines two of my favorite things: hot women and tag team wrestling! What gods did I please? SCHIAVONE Theodore Moneymaker hopes this match will be the last stand of Chicks Over Dicks. VENTURA In this type of match-up, it's a level playing field. You don't really have to rely on any wrestling skills. All you have to do is, well, strip your opponents down to their bra and panties. Jade was worried going into this match, but all she has to do is make sure Alix and Krista are in their underwear at the end of this match, and she and Mackenzie AT LEAST have a shirt or pants or skirt on. I'm secretly hoping that we have a little 'wardrobe malfunction' with all four of the ladies, if you know what I mean. SCHIAVONE I'm sure red blooded heterosexual males all over the world will stay up late just to watch that match! Skin To Win is the name of the game. This will certainly go down as an OAOAST Syndicated for the ages! THREE matches that you will only see here tonight on OAOAST Syndicated, TWO title matches, ONE HELL of a show from the just recently opened O2 Arena in Jolly ol' London, England! Now, let's go to the ring for our opening match on the July 2007 edition of OAOAST Syndicated! Michael Buffer, take it away! *DING DING DING*

Let's put this after the first segment this week, Patty. [IMG=http://embarqblog.wri.org/wp-content/uploads/2007/04/new-york-city.jpg] We fade in on a shot of the New York City skyline as the sun sets. Mellow music plays. We then see rapid fire shots of various New York City landmarks: the Brooklyn Bridge, Times Square, the Empire State Building, Grand Central Station, the Statue Of Liberty, Central Park. [i]The World's Most Famous Arena.[/i] Cut to a shot of Madison Square Garden. [IMG=http://www.newyorkrangers.com/tickets/images/msg_night_lg.jpg] [i]The World's Greatest City.[/i] Cut to a shot of the New York City skyline at night. [IMG=http://abodenyc.com/images/New%20York%20City%20Images/New-York-Skyline-Night%20-%20Fixed.jpg] [i]The biggest event of the summer.[/i] Cut to the OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 logo. Triumphant music plays. [b]OAOAST ANGLESLAM[/b] [b]LIVE FROM MADISON SQUARE GARDEN[/b] [b]NEW YORK, NEW YORK[/b] [b]FIVE WEEKS AWAY![/b] NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUNDALIKE ANGLESLAM 2007! THE SINGLE GREATEST ANGLESLAM OF ALL-TIME!!! Fireworks explode. We fade out. [b]COMMERCIAL BREAK[/b]

-Colombian Heat promo -Yet another OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 Countdown ad

Where ever you want to stick it in, Patty. Cut to Maria at the HeldDOWN~! interview set. MARIA Ladies and gentlemen, my guest at this time, the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion, COLOMBIAN HEAT! Colombian Heat appears in the shot. The crowd cheers loudly. Colombian Heat is in his wrestling attire, in addition to wearing tons of jewelry and his sunglasses. Colombian Heat is holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He checks Maria out. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo. Yo. Wat up. Damn girl. You is one fine young chica. Youse a fly honey. I like to get me some of that, lil' mama. MARIA Lil' Mama? I LOVE Lil' Mama! My lipgloss is poppin'! My lipgloss is cool! All the boys they see me/They chase me after school! Maria then starts doing the Running Man, garnering a huge laugh from the crowd and Colombian Heat. HEAT HA HA HA! I's loves me a girl wit a sense of humour! MARIA So, Colombian Heat, can I call you Colombian? HEAT You can call me anything youse want, suga. MARIA Great! So Colombian Heat, this Saturday on the Saturday night OAOAST Syndicated, you're going to be taking on James Riggs. And if James Riggs wins, then you'll have to take on Riggs AGAIN at AngleSlam...only this time it'll be for the OAOAST 24/7 Title. Have I got that right? Heat nods his head. MARIA Cool! So, what are you thinking about heading into this matchup? Are you worry you might have to face him two times instead of once? HEAT Maria, I's ain't worried about a thang! Whateva happens, happens. If I's beats James Riggs this Saturday, cool, if I's lose, then I ain't gonna be happy, but I'ma man, and I'ma be ready to take him on and defend mah Title at AngleSlam! I've been blessed wit a once-in-a-lifetime opprotunity, so I's ain't gonna take it for granted. Anytime I defend dis Title, I'm on my feet ready and willing to go. And if a match happens at AngleSlam, then shawti, it ain't gonna be any different. James Riggs wants some, then he can come GET SOME! The crowd cheers. Heat adjusts the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. HEAT JR thinks he's got mah number. But dawg, you ain't got nothin'! See, there's alot more than what'chu see in Colombian Heat. I's got me some hidden talents. MARIA Me too! Like I can play a flute with my va-- Heat puts his left hand up in Maria's face. The crowd laughs. HEAT Let's save that for later. When it's just you and me. MARIA Ohhhhhh. Okay! *Giggles* Heat chuckles to himself. HEAT Where was I? Oh yes. James Riggs, I's got me some hidden talents. Just when youse think youse got me, BAM! I unleashed mah hidden talents, and shock the hell out of you! So James Riggs and JR Nation, all two of you, go ahead and do your worst this Saturday. Hell, try and do your worst at AngleSlam if we even get that far. It don't matter. Because James Riggs, whether it's on OAOAST Syndicated or at AngleSlam 2007, sooner or later, you will feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- CROWD BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCHHHHHHH~! HEAT Hells yeah! Heat turns his attention to Maria. HEAT And dat's it. As for you, I'ma staying at-- Heat whispers what is presumbly his hotel room number to Maria. Maria smiles. HEAT A'ight? Peace. See you later, baby gurl. Colombian Heat winks at Maria. Maria giggles. Heat winks to the camera. He walks away with a swagger in his step. Maria watches him go, staring at his ass. MARIA Guys, back to you. HE IS SO HOT! Maria has to fan herself, she is so hot for Colombian Heat. COLE Looks like Maria got more than what she bargained for with that interview! COACH I don't get it. Colombian Heat talks to her once, and she's puddy in his hands. I've known her for two years now, and how far do I get? Nowhere! COLE Coach, asking Maria if she wants to 'Ride the Chocolate Sausage' isn't such a good pickup line. COACH Well, it is to me. COLE That is why you fail.

-NON-TITLE MATCH Colombian Heat vs. James Riggs (with Staci) STIPULATION: If James Riggs wins, then he gets a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Championship at OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 on August 26th.

Place this wherever you want, Patty. The camera cuts to the backstage area and the HeldDOWN~! interview set where Maria is standing by with James Riggs and Staci. The crowd boos. Riggs is in his wrestling attire and has a cocky smirk on his face. Staci stands next to him looking lovingly at her man. MARIA Maria here with James Riggs, who made his return to the OAOAST last week in a very rude manner! Last week, you attacked Colombian Heat after he just won the 24/7 Title from Cuban Wall! What would make you do such a thing? JAMES RIGGS Well, Maria, it's quite simple, so simple even you can understand it. You see, I attacked him after his match because I just could not understand why the OAOAST would go ahead and give Colombian Heat a rematch after he BLEW his first match against Cuban Wall. I mean, Cuban Wall squashed him in under 10 minutes! What the hell was the point of having a rematch? What did Cuban Wall need to prove? Does Colombian Heat have incriminating photos of someone on the OAOAST Board of Directors or something? Anyway, it's completely and totally unfair that he gets two shots at the 24/7 Title in the span of two months despite not wrestling on OAOAST TV since April! Sure, I haven't been seen since April either, but that was because I was taking on the best the world has to offer in HI-YAH. What has Colombian Heat done since April? Lie around his apartment doing nothing? Write some crappy rap songs? Smoke some of that 'sticky icky' if you catch my drift? MARIA No, I don't. RIGGS You know, you're much more beautiful when you don't speak. MARIA Really? RIGGS Uh-huh. MARIA Okay then! I'll stay quiet for the rest of the interview! RIGGS That's a good girl. Staci stifles her laugh. JR chuckles. RIGGS But now I'm back in the One And Only AngleSault Thread, and I'm going to make it my mission to unseat Colombian Heat and give the OAOAST and JR Nation a 24/7 Champion they can be PROUD of! And as for Colombian Heat-- Suddenly, Colombian Heat appears in the shot. The crowd cheers loudly! Heat is also in his wrestling attire, but is also wearing a New York Yankees baseball cap backwards. He is holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. James Riggs and Staci both look at Heat with looks of disgust on their faces. RIGGS Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. How you doing, Champ? COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo, peep dis, son. I's never had any beef wit you, a'ight? Youse the one dat started tha beef. Well, I's is gonna finish it, ya heard me? RIGGS I hear you loud and clear, Heat! Now, tell me, when do I get my title shot? HEAT Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold up! Wait a minute! I's never said nothin' 'bout no title shot. First things first, I gotta see if you're worthy of gettin' a shot at mah new title. RIGGS Me? Worthy? Heat, do you realize who you're talking to? I'm a future Hall of Famer! I'm the Next Big Thing in the OAOAST! I'm the guy who puts asses in those seats! And you're seriously wondering if I am worthy enough to get a shot at the OAOAST 24/7 Title? HEAT Yessir. JR scoffs. He and Staci can't believe what they're hearing. Riggs puts his right hand over his face and takes a deep breath. He then turns his attention back to Heat. RIGGS All right. All right. If that's what I have to do, then so be it. What do you want? HEAT There's a primetime Syndicated show in two weeks. How's about me and you have a match on dat show? If I win, then you stop with dis business about gettin' a 24/7 Title shot a'ight? But if you win...then, we'll face off again for the 24/7 Title at AngleSlam in August. Sound cool wit you? JR quickly thinks this over. Staci smiles. RIGGS Colombian Heat, I have absolutely no problem beating you two times in a row! I accept your challenge! HEAT A'ight then. See, we can do this tha civil way cuz we is grown ass mang. No need for sneak attacks and whatnot! We can do dis tha grown folks way. RIGGS Yeah, yeah, yeah whatever. I'll see you in two weeks, Champ! HEAT See you then, Riggs. Colombian Heat and James Riggs both nod their heads at the same time. Heat then turns and walks away. RIGGS And hey, hold onto that Title tight, because in six weeks time, that Title will be taken away from you, and you'll be remember as the guy who lost both his belt AND his girlfriend on OAOAST Television in the same year! That comment causes Colombian Heat to stop walking and rush towards Riggs! HEAT What'chu say? What'chu say? SAY THAT TO MAH FACE, BOI! COME ON! SAY DAT TO MAH FACE! Heat shoves Riggs! Riggs and Staci just laugh it off. Heat gets in Riggs face, which causes OAOAST Road Agents and security to come and break things up before things get out of hand. Heat continues spitting venom at James Riggs, who just laughs evilly while Staci smiles evilly. Both Heat and Riggs are separated by the OAOAST Road Agents and security. The crowd boos. COLE James Riggs has accepted the challenge! If he can get through Colombian Heat on OAOAST Syndicated in two weeks, he gets a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam! COACH Finally, the moment JR Nation has been waiting for will finally happen. James Riggs with OAOAST gold around his waist! COLE Well, he has to beat Heat on OAOAST Syndicated first. COACH And he will, so let's look into the future. August 26th. James Riggs vs. Colombian Heat for the 24/7 Title! What a moment that will be in JR's career. Winning the 24/7 Championship at Madison Square Garden! That's something he can tell his grandkids about! COLE Who knows, Coach? What we DO know is that another match has been added to an already explosive OAOAST Syndicated on July 28th from London, England! Colombian Heat vs. James Riggs, with a 24/7 Title shot at AngleSlam 2007 on the line!

White Town - "Your Woman"

-Cuban Wall squash. Oops, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. -James Riggs promo -And I know Jacob Cross is gone, but I feel bad knowing I STILL haven't done our Great Angle Bash 2007 match yet, especially when I had a great match in mind, so on the next HeldDOWN~!, you will finally see the Vitamin X/Jacob Cross No Disqualification Match from OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2007 -And another OAOAST AngleSlam 2007 Countdown Commercial

I've stuck in the OAOAST 24/7 Championship Match into the show. Finally. In addition to that, I've also added in an extra Colombian Heat segment, which is actually somewhat important as it pertains to the future. Now to work on my *other* match from OAOAST The Great Angle Bash 2007! Oy vey.

Okay, I really mean it this time. Srly. -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -Colombian Heat segment

Yeah, this is the last segment King Cucaracha told you about, Patty. He and I wrote this one together. So enjoy! As we return to HeldDOWN~! from our final commercial break, yellow banners are draped from the ring ropes the ring has been decked out with a lavish red carpet. A lavish red carpet with a long stripe of yellow carpet placed down the middle, signifying the flag of Spain. Which must mean it's time for the new World Champion's big celebration party. That or Spanish Fly is coming out, I guess. Although, isn't he from Mexico? Oh, wait, shhh. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the NEEEEEWWW One And Only AngleSault Thread Heavyweight Wrestling Champion Of The WOOOOOOOORRRRRLLLLLLDD... LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MMMMMMAAAAAAAAAADDIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" On cue, a small mariachi band come piling out of the entrance way playing some celebratory music. The camera pans to the rafters, as a veritable shower of confetti begins to fall from the air, before a sudden explosion of pyro releases another shower, this time of red and yellow balloons. As the carpetted ring begins to fill with the confetti, as well as the drinks of all the crowd, the band suddenly break into a special mariachi version of "Personal Jesus". COLE That's certainly... different. In the midst of all the trumpeting and... uh, what ever else is in a mariachi band... beaming from ear to ear comes LANDON MADDIX, arm in arm with Megan Skye and proudly wearing his newly won Championship over his right shoulder. Landon greets his adoring public with a royal wave before lifting the title off of his shoulder and raising it in the air! COACH There he is Michael, the new World Champion! COLE Landon Maddix pulling out all the stops here tonight, the confetti, the balloons, the band. I'm sure this must be making Zack Malibu, who is no doubt watching us live back in Providence right now, sick to his stomach. COACH Oh, who cares? Zack Malibu is yesterday's news! Here's the man of today! Landon and Megan continue to walk arm in arm to the ring, as the mariachi band plays on. Behind them follow the other 'guests' invited this celebration. Vincent Santana and Marcellus "One Eye" Wallace of The South Central Miltia, plus Todd Cortez, all of whom position themselves at ringside as Landon and Megan take centre stage in the ring. The hundreds of popping balloons eventually begin to drown out the band and threaten to drown out Landon, even before he's taken the microphone from Michael Buffer. Thanking the crowd for their applause, which has been picked up by Landon's selective hearing over the jeers and bangs, Maddix takes the mic. MADDIX Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the new era, the Landon Maddix era of the OAOAST! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Yes, thank you. Thank you. You know, from the moment I stepped through those sliding doors for the first time that this day would come. From day one, not one person in that OAOAST locker room looked like he was capable of matching up to me. Not the bumping and grinding doctors, not the flaming homosexual luchadors, not the [i]countless[/i] guys who looked like they were involved in some sort of boyband reunion. Nobody. Call it what you will. Call it arrogance. Call it a premonition. Call it 'destiny'. (Randy Orton pose) The fact is, it happened. Landon Maddix came, he saw, he conquered... I proved to be the Saviour Of The OAOAST that I proclaimed myself right from the get-go! "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" "LAN - DON SUCKS!" Looking over his shoulder, Landon glares at the hundreds of fans on their feet, trying to ruin his celebration. MADDIX As a great man once sung, [i]#Who told you you're allowed to rain on my par - aaaaade#?[/i] In the background, The Militia and Cortez pool together their knowledge of rat-pack singers and still can't prevent that reference from going over their heads. MADDIX Nothing can spoil this mood baby! So save your collective breath. See, I'm right back where I belong, on top of the world! Higher than anyone has ever been before. You see, the whole divide between the SWF and the OAOAST isn't so bitter nowadays, so I'm sure you'll all have no problem recognising me as the four-time... four-time... four-time... four-[i]time[/i] World Champion that I am. And above all else, you'll recognise me as the ONLY man in HISTORY to have won both the SWF and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championships! COLE Well, that is true. MADDIX And right now, there's so many people to thank. This didn't happen by accident. Myself and Megan here, we planned every detail of our plan. We always have a plan. And I've gotta say in all honesty, this was one of our best. Megan playful tells Landon to stop before he embarrasses her. MADDIX Now, I could yak on all day about just how great I am and I could stand here all day saying 'I told ya so, I told ya so'. But let us not forget, this title being around my waist right now is in no small part down to our former World Champion. Let's face it, he played the role of 'nice but dim people's champion' to perfection! And I'm sure he's wondering just what went wrong. So let's talk about what happened last week. Let's talk about Zack Malibu... "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" The crowd pop for the ex-champion, drawing a little smirk from La Cucaracha. MADDIX Ah yes, everyone's favourite poster-boy, Zack Malibu. The scourge of the evil-doers of the OAOAST. Blah, blah, blah. Well let me clue you all in. Your precious 'poster-boy' isn't here tonight. While yours truly is out here revelling in the glow of this World Title, Zack Malibu is probably busy changing diapers and preparing bottle-feeds right about now. If he can move yet, that is. "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" "WE WANT ZACK!" MADDIX Did all that balloon-popping damage your hearing or are you just morons!? HE'S. NOT. HERE. TONIGHT. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" MADDIX Zack, did you not think I'd remember everything you've done to me since I've been in this company? Or did you just underestimate me? Either way, you made the biggest mistake of your life! Don't think I've forgotten War Games. Don't think that you trying to castrate me with a metal spike in front of thousands of people doesn't still eat at me. And don't for a second think that I don't forget you dumping me out of the Lethal Rumble this year! Zack, I would have taken this belt whoever was holding it, trust me. But the fact it was you I humiliated and sent packing made this victory all the sweeter! Landon adjusts the belt over his shoulder. MADDIX Your whole crusade to be a 'fighting champion' was all the opening I needed Zack. You just made it that bit easier by falling into the trap so willingly. You accepted my challenge before I could even coax you into it! And how ironic, that you thought you'd got rid of me at The Great Angle Bash. Zack, I could have cashed that Money In The Bank contract in any time in the lead-up to The Bash. There were so many perfect opportunities. But you just kept digging that hole deeper and deeper for yourself with your relentless bravado. I knew sooner or later, your body would self-destruct. And I, ingeniously, kept that contract in reserve, [i]just incase[/i]. Just how much damage you've suffered, I don't know. Must be quite a bit, considering you were so delusional last week, you actually thought these guys were coming to [i]save[/i] you! The SCM laugh away in the background. MADDIX The moment these two cleared the deadwood, you should have high-tailed it, while you still could. But yet again, the brave, proud Zack Malibu just couldn't run away! And yet again, you paid the price. It's not a mistake I'll be making Zack. See, unlike you, I'm not ruled by the cheers of these people! I'm ruled by my head, not my heart. So let's hope playing house husband suits. Because as long as you let that bleeding heart of yours carry you along through life, you're always going fall short to the new Power Couple of the OAOAST! COACH Ouch! COLE Another slap in the face to the former World Champion and of course, former Women's Champion Candie, his wife and the mother of his child. As Megan and Landon cosy up in the middle of the ring, none of the three in the background look all that impressed. Cortez in particular, of course. The love-in is interrupted by the fact they're in front of a worldwide audience and a capacity crowd in the arena though. Thankfully. MADDIX Now, with that out of the way, let's start celebrating already shall we? Without any further ado, I'd like to lead you all in a rendition of one of my favourite songs. It's a song near and dear to my heart. Feel free to join in if you know the words... Todd, Militia, that includes you too... [b]*AHEM! -HEM!*[/b]. COLE What the hell is this? COACH He's clearing his throat. COLE Yeah, I get that bit, but... MADDIX [i]#I've paid my dues#[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE ...Oh dear lord. MADDIX [i]#Time after time!#[/i] C'mon Todd, don't be shy. [i]#I've done my sentence... but commited no cri...#[/i] The lights go down in the arena. The crowd instantly start buzzing, probably just pleased that the unexpected blackout has stopped the World Champion's singing. But after a few seconds the fans aren't quite so cheery, as Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: [b]*THE CHAMP IS HERE!*[/b] With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. COLE What the hell is THIS now!? COACH Uh, I get the feeling that this isn't part of the celebrations somehow. The entrance doors slide open, and out comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and his manager and "Career Consultant" Stephen Joseph Popick! The crowd boos louder. PRL is standing in his wrestling attire holding his black briefcase spray-painted with L.C. in yellow which contains his Golden Contract inside. Popick is holding a microphone in his right hand. Both Popick and Tha Puerto Rican stare intensely at Landon Maddix, while The South Central Militia and Todd Cortez get into their fighting stances. COACH Tha Puerto Rican is out here! What does he want? COLE Well last week, Todd Cortez attacked PRL backstage. Think that has something to do with it? COACH You don't think Tha Puerto Rican's still bitter about that, do you? COLE Coach, it's Tha Puerto Rican. OF COURSE he's still bitter about something! Landon is as confused as the crowd as to why PRL is out here. But their confusion is about to end as Stephen Joseph Popick brings the microphone to his lips as "Know Your Role '99" dies down. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Landon, Landon, Landon. You know, I gotta hand it to you, Landon. What you did last week was quite clever of you. Having other guys beat up Zack Malibu, and then going in for the kill. I gotta say, that was quite impressive. People, please give a nice warm round of applause for Landon Maddix, YOUR NEW OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! The crowd, naturally, responds with a nice round of boos for the Champ. Maddix is a little leary of what Popick is saying, knowing full well the history of The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. COLE Where is this going? COACH Shut up, Cole. We're about to find out! POPICK Now, Landon, if I were you, I'd just...take a break. Yeah, relax. Take a vacation. That's what I would do. You've worked really hard to become World Champion, and you deserve a little R&R. So, why don't you take your little girlfriend and go to Bahamas or back to Spain or whatever. Take most of the whole summer off! You'll need all the relaxation you can get. Because by the time Labor Day comes, you will no longer be the World Heavyweight Champion! This piques Landon's interest. LANDON What? What do you mean? POPICK That's because, Landon Maddix, on August 26th, from Madison Square Garden in New York City, at AngleSlam 2007, MY Client, MY CORPORATE Champion, Tha Puerto Rican, is cashing in his Golden Contract and is coming after you and the World Heavyweight Title! COLE Whoa! We finally have a date! Tha Puerto Rican is going to cash in his Golden Contract at AngleSlam! COACH What a main event that's going to be! Tha Puerto Rican vs. Landon Maddix one-on-one for the World Heavyweight Title! POPICK The countdown is on my friends. We are now on the Road To Glory with the final stop at Madison Square Garden, the Mecca of Sports-Entertainment! In 8 weeks time, the Era of Lightning will begin in the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Popick hands the mic over to Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos. Landon is stunned at the fact that he already has an opponent for the next OAOAST pay-per-view. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. Last week, you stuck your roody poo candy ass where it didn't belong! I was going to cash in my Golden Contract last week against Zack Malibu, but you stuck nose in and took WHAT SHOULD BE MINE! Landon cracks a smile, while the crowd boos. THA PUERTO RICAN I sent Mr. Boricua and Vitamin X out there as a 'warm up match' for Zack-- COLE I knew it! THA PUERTO RICAN But then that jabroni you call a friend, Todd Cortez, Pearl Harbor'd me and held me there while you went ahead and stole the Title from Zack! COLE Held him there? More like beat him up to a bloody pulp! COACH Hey, we didn't see everything that happened! Maybe he did just hold him back! COLE Oh come on! PRL Now normally, I would applaud such tactics...BUT NOT WHEN I'M THE VICTIM! But no, oh no, I'm not going to cry over spilled milk. What's done is done. And I'm not an idiot, so tell your men I'm not going to rush into the ring to kick your monkey ass. Not tonight! No, I'm going to save it for AngleSlam, not for these pieces of trailer park trash here in Tampa, Florida! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL Shut up! You know you guys can't compare to Miami! COACH He's right you know. TPR At AngleSlam, on Sunday August 26th, at Madison Square Garden in New York City, in front of thousands upon thousands of Puerto Ricans, MY people, and in front of the millions-- CROWD --AND MILLIONS! Tha Puerto Rican gives the crowd a dirty look. THA PUERTO RICAN ...Don't do that. As I was saying, the millions AND MILLIONS of Tha Puerto Rican's fans watching around the world, they will see "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican whup that candy ass from pillar to post and in the end, finally, FINALLY win the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Championship! The crowd boos. Landon stands in the ring unimpressed. THA PUERTO RICAN So, I think the OAOAST made a huge mistake in letting this celebration take place tonight. Because then they won't have any money to plan the celebration of MY title victory on HeldDOWN~! on August 30th! But it's okay. Vitamin X and Popick will pull through, I'm sure. So Landon, get ready, because that Title is coming home where it belongs, to Tha Puerto Rican! I'll see you in 8 weeks, Landon! THE CHAMP HAS-- CROWD SPO-KUN~! PRL once again gives the crowd a dirty look. Popick shakes his head. THA PUERTO RICAN Tampa, Florida, this is not sing-along with The Champ. Tha Puerto Rican does it himself! PRL tilts his head back and takes a deep breath. THA PUERTO RICAN THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! Tha Puerto Rican throws the microphone down. "Know Your Role '99" starts playing again. PRL and Popick have smirks on their faces as they stare at Landon. Landon is now annoyed. LANDON MADDIX Oh yeah? Well, Just Bring It (does hand gesture), you second-rate Rock impersonator! I don't need anybody's help to beat your ass at AngleSlam! I've got you in my scope, P.R.! Your ass is mine! You ain't taking this away from me! I own your ass at AngleSlam! You hear that? OWN. YOUR. ASS! Landon raises the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his head and points to it. PRL raises the black spray-painted briefcase over his head. Popick points to the briefcase and then to the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title belt, and then to PRL's waist. He then puts up eight fingers to symbolize there's 8 weeks left until AngleSlam. Landon discusses this current situation with Megan while The South Central Militia and Todd Cortez just stare angrily at Tha Puerto Rican and Popick. COLE Well, it's only July 5th, but we already have our AngleSlam main event! COACH And what a main event! It's going to be the greatest AngleSlam of all-time! PRL/Landon. First Time Ever! Live from Madison Square Garden! COLE The countdown is on. We are on The Road To Glory. In 8 weeks, 52 days, Tha Puerto Rican and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix will collide for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship at AngleSlam! I wonder what Zack thinks of all of this? COACH Bah! Zack is old news! PRL vs. Landon is the wave of the future! The OAOAST marketing machine better go full blast for this one! This is going to be the biggest AngleSlam EVER! I SO cannot wait for this one! Tha Puerto Rican mouths off to Landon, who mouths off back. Megan Skye has to hold Landon back, since he's about to blow a gasket. COLE What a way to end tonight's HeldDOWN~!. While HeldDOWN~! may be over, on the horizon is quite possibly the biggest AngleSlam main event in the history of the OAOAST! We have it confirmed now. Tha Puerto Rican will cash in his Golden Contract which he has held since August of LAST year at AngleSlam on August 26th! And what a match that's going to be! COACH I'm calling it now. Match of the Year Candidate. COLE This will certainly be a much anticipated match. The first ever meeting, the first ever interaction PERIOD between these two! But we've still got quite a way to go before then, so for Jonathon Coachman, I'm Michael Cole saying good night, and we'll see you next week for more exciting OAOAST action on HeldDOWN~! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican points menacingly at Landon Maddix and does the "I-Want-The-Belt" hand gesture. He laughs manically and then he and Stephen Joseph Popick exit through the entrance doors. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix stands in the ring fuming, with Megan Skye trying to calm him down. The South Central Militia and "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez discuss what just went down outside of the ring. Landon slings the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt over his right shoulder and stares at the entrance even though PRL and Popick have left. All the while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. This is the last image we see before we fade to black. [b]FADE TO BLACK[/b]

I'm working on the final segment now.

Because I never wrote it for The Great Angle Bash and it's too late to edit it in now... -OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -Colombian Heat segment

Dang dude. That was fast!

Yes.

Yeah, the Vitamin X/Jacob Cross match is definitely going to be late. I haven't even begun on Cuban Wall/Colombian Heat and I'm going to bed now. So just post the show and I'll edit in that match when I finish it, depending on whenever I do finish it. Yeah.

Hey Patty O'Green, if you're doing one of those segments from the OAOAST Action Zone with Maggie Nerdly, insert this promo into that segment. kthxbye. The camera cuts to Colombian Heat standing in front of a blue screen. Inserted onto the blue screen is the words COLOMBIAN HEAT written in grafitti style font on a chainlink fence. A boombox is at the bottom right hand corner of the screen. Heat is in his wrestling attire. COLOMBIAN HEAT Hey yo, dis Sunday I'ma get anotha shot at gettin' some goal here in tha OAOAST. I'ma get things poppin' when I step into tha ring wit tha big mang, Cuban Wall. But yo, I ain't afraid of dis goof. Yeah, I got mah ass whopped last week. I ain't gonna front. I didn't do good. But in life, it's not how many times youse fall, it's how many times youse get up. And dawgs, I'ma up, and I'ma ready to kick some Cuban ass! I ain't gonna cower, and I ain't gonna bow down to him cuz my momma always told me dat tha only person youse is supposed to bow down to is tha almighty Father. And Lord willin', dis Sunday night at The Great Angle Bash, your boi Colombian Heat is gonna steamroll into Washington D.C., kick some ass, dance a little like you know I do, and then beat dat scrub 1-2-3 to become tha NEW One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion! And afterwards, tha OAOAST will bear witness to tha most poppin', most illingnest, most dope, most fresh, most unbeliveably CHILL 24/7 Title reign EVER! Oh yeah, we is gonna get CRUNK in D.C. dis Sunday, betta belee dat boi! A'ight peace I'm outtie 5,000. I'll see you later. One. Colombian Heat throws up the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal as the promo ends.

-Brains & Brawn vs. Colombian Heat and Jacob Cross (This will be written by Jacob Cross by the way) -Colombian Heat promo

-OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -"The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican will also be in the building

A piano plays a melody, causing the crowd to cheer. The lights go down in the arena, turning back on in tune with the melody. "COME ON!" *BOOM~!* Pyro explodes, leaving behind fire that burns on both sides of the entrance stage. "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull starts playing. COLE Can you feel the Heat? The entrance doors slide open, and Colombian Heat comes out. Heat runs out onto the entrance stage and raises his hands, acknowledging the fans. Colombian Heat points to both sides of the arena, and then walks to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Championship! Introducing first. The challenger. Coming to the ring at this time. Originally from Bogotá, Colombia but now residing in Miami, Florida. Weighing in at 180 lbs. He is a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion. He...is...COLOMBIANNNNNNNNNNNN HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Colombian Heat slaps some fans hands and then climbs the ring steps. Heat hops into the ring. COLE Colombian Heat going for his first singles title tonight! And he's doing it against a former running buddy! COACH The history between Colombian Heat and Cuban Wall has been talked about again and again. So let's just sit back and watch the slaughter! COLE Coach, can't you give Heat a *little* credit? COACH Nah. He's boned. COLE Coach. Oy. Colombian Heat gets on the second ring rope and does the "WESTSIIIIIIIDE" hand signal, receiving cheers. Heat then gets on a second turnbuckle and throws up the "W" hand signal again, receiving more cheers. Colombian Heat gets off the second turnbuckle, and grabs a microphone. COLE Colombian Heat came to the rescue of Spanish Fly after his match against Cuban Wall last week. Tonight, Heat looks to do what Spanish Fly couldn't do last week. Colombian Heat hasn't wrestled on HeldDOWN~! in quite some time, but he has been in action around the globe, wrestling in HI-YAH several times over these past few months. COACH They can take him and keep him for all I care! If I never ever see Colombian Heat ever again, it will be too soon! Colombian Heat has a smile on his face as "Gasolina (Remix)" by Daddy Yankee featuring Lil' Jon and Pitbull dies down. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLOMBIAN HEAT COT DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK ON HELDDOWN~! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" HEAT And wot betta place to return home than right here in MEMPHIS, TENN-E-SEE! (CHEAP POP!) HEAT So, Memphis, we's in tha dirrty dirrty, and I knows that in tha dirrty dirrty youse likes to get CRUNK! And we's about to get CRUNK cuz I's am leaving herre tha NEW 24/7 CHAMPION! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" HEAT So, if all of y'all are ready to see me make Cuban Wall feel the Heat and become the new 24/7 Champion...then Memphis, Tennessee, make some noise UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!" The crowd goes wild. Colombian Heat smiles a wide smile as he puts the microphone away. Heat jumps up and down and stares at the entrance with his game face on. COLE Colombian Heat is ready for this match! He wants to become 24/7 Champion tonight on HeldDOWN~! "LIGHTNING CREW!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. *[i]No chance (No chance) That's what ya got! (Ha. Ha. Yeah!) We're up against no machine too strong (Too strong) Pussy polticians buying souls for us are...PUPPETS! (Puppets!)[/i]* A few seconds later, the entrance doors slide open, and Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall has the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face. COACH Here comes the biggest 24/7 Champion EVER! Colombian Heat's in trouble now! BUFFER And his opponent. From Havana, Cuba. Weighing in at 285 lbs. He is the reigning and defending One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion of the worrrrlllllllllldddddddddddddddddddd. He is The Muscle for The Lightning Crew. CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit as he walks to the ring. COLE Cuban Wall has no love lost for Colombian Heat. Here is what he had to say earlier about his opponent tonight. A small box appears on the upper left hand corner of the screen. Cuban Wall stands in front of a blue background while holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He is in his wrestling gear because he lives, breathes, and eats wrestling DAMNIT! CUBAN WALL My name is Cuban Wall. I enjoy drinking beer, smoking fine Cuban cigars, listening to heavy metal, and having sex with some fine fine ladies. But the one thing I love more than any of that is kicking some serious ass! Now my opponent tonight is no stranger to me. Suffice to say, I've hated his guts ever since I first met him! He's always been an annoying, idiotic, obnoxious, untalented, ASS to me! And tonight, I hope this will be the last time I will ever EVER have to get in the squared circle with him! I will make sure of that! This is NOT about big vs. small. This is NOT about rock vs. rap. This is about a talented superstar kicking the crap out of the least talented superstar in all of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! Colombian Heat, say your prayers, because you're going to need all the help you can get when you step into the ring with me! It's almost game time, are you ready? Because YOUR ASS IS MINE! COLE Cuban Wall with some big words for Colombian Heat tonight! COACH He'll back up his words too. This is not going to be pretty. Not at all! COLE We're about to find out in only a heartbeat away! COACH Oh boy! I've been waiting for this all week! Cuban Wall uses the ropes to pull himself up onto the ring apron. He enters the ring--Colombian Heat attacks him! Heat keeps on attacking him, preventing Cuban Wall from entering the ring! COACH What the hell? COLE Colombian Heat wanted to get a heads up I assume! COACH What is he doing? STOP HIM! STOP HIM! Referee Mike Chioda calls for the bell. "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. *DING DING DING* [b]OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH CUBAN WALL (Champion) vs. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Challenger)[/b] Colombian Heat beats on Cuban Wall to the crowd's delight! COLE Colombian Heat going for first blood right now! Colombian Heat punches Cuban Wall repeatedly as he finally enters the ring! But then, Cuban Wall grabs Heat and gives him a headbutt, knocking him down! COACH Ha! Ha! Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks Cuban Wall again! But Cuban Wall shrugs off the attack and headbutts Heat again! Mike Chioda grabs the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt that Wall dropped, and hands it over to a ringside attendant. COLE Cuban Wall is just too big for Colombian Heat! Colombian Heat gets right back up, and attacks again! Cuban Wall headbutts Heat AGAIN! He then starts punching Colombian Heat in the face! Heat stumbles around ringside. Wall grabs Colombian Heat and gives him the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! Cuban Wall grabs Colombian Heat and whips him into the ropes. He follows with a big boot that causes Colombian Heat to tumble through the first and second ropes and onto the floor! COLE Cuban Wall is in control of Colombian Heat as this match gets started! Cuban Wall raises his hands in the air. The crowd boos loudly. Wall taunts the fans. Mike Chioda begins his 10 count. COACH If Heat knows what's good for him, he'll just stay down. COLE Colombian Heat has the heart of a champion, Coach! He won't back down until he gets what he wants! And right now, he wants the 24/7 Title! COACH 'Heart of a champion'? Come on, Cole! Stop looking into the big book of cliches, and make up something of your own next time! Colombian Heat gets on his knees. He takes a deep breath, already groggy, and slides back into the ring at the count of 6. Cuban Wall quickly starts stomping him into mush. "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" "HEAT!" COLE This crowd trying to rally Colombian Heat back into this match! Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up, removing his Colombian flag bandana in the process. Cuban Wall punches Colombian Heat in the face! He does it again! And again! And again! Cuban Wall gives Colombian Heat an Irish Whip into the ropes. Heat bounces off the ropes. Wall follows with a Bossman Slam! He goes for the cover. 1... 2... SHOULDER UP! Cuban Wall eyes the referee, but carries on. Colombian Heat's eyes are glazed over. CW picks CH up and punches him in the face again. And again! And again! And again! Wall scoops Heat up. Wall charges forward towards a turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against the turnbuckle! Wall charges forward towards another turnbuckle, hitting Heat's back against that one too! Wall heads towards a third turnbuckle, slamming Heat's back against that one. He finishes it off with the fourth turnbuckle, and completes his signature move with a powerslam! Cuban Wall goes for the cover! ONE! TWO! THR--KICK OUT!!! COLE Colombian Heat will not give up! He will not quit! COACH And he will not win the 24/7 Title the way this match is going! "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" "LET'S GO HEAT!" Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while he picks him up. Wall gives Heat a double-armed DDT! Wall goes for the cover. 1....2....KICK OUT! Wall sneers at the referee. He then picks Colombian Heat up again. Wall scoops Heat up. Bodyslam! Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, jumps up, and down with a legdrop, NO! Colombian Heat moves out of the way! COLE Colombian Heat escaped just in the nick of time! COACH What? Come on Wall! Don't let the stupid idiot beat you! Colombian Heat gets up. He picks Cuban Wall up. He goes for the COLOMBIAN NECKTIE~! Not even close, as Cuban Wall shoves him into the ropes, and then hits him with a MASSIVE clothesline! COLE Oh! And Colombian Heat's comeback has been cut short! COACH Good. We're back on track now! Cuban Wall chokes Colombian Heat with his bare hands! Mike Chioda orders Wall to stop at the count of 5. 1! 2! 3! 4! Cuban Wall lets go of Heat's throat. Wall grabs Colombian Heat, and lifts him up onto his feet by his throat! Cuban Wall throws Colombian Heat over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Uh-oh! This isn't good! Cuban Wall is on the outside with Colombian Heat! That's no man's land right there! COACH It's not like this is anything new! Things haven't been going Colombian Heat's way all match! The crowd boos loudly as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope. Colombian Heat is crawling on the outside. Cuban Wall slowly follows him then picks him up by his shirt and yellow basketball jersey. Heat is dazed and confused. Cuban Wall whips Colombian Heat into some ring steps. Heat hits the ring steps right shoulder first with the top ring steps falling off due to the impact! COLE Whoa! COACH That's right, Wall! Do your thing! You're the man, Wall! You the man! Colombian Heat is lying on the floor, breathing heavily. Cuban Wall taunts the fans at ringside. Wall has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks over to where Colombian Heat is lying and picks him up. Cuban Wall measures Heat up, and punches him square in the nose! Heat stumbles, but Wall holds him up by his jersey. Wall grabs Heat by his head and throws him back into the ring. Wall follows over the top rope. COLE Colombian Heat has gotten barely ANY offense in this match! COACH And that's the way it should be. Are you surprised? COLE No...I Just thought he might put up a little bit more of a fight! COACH He wouldn't, Because Cuban Wall is better than Colombian Heat in every way including arts and crafts! Cuban Wall picks Colombian Heat up again. CW places Colombian Heat in between his legs, lifts Heat up, and gives him a Piledriver onto the mat! Cuban Wall gets up and lifts his right hand in the air! The crowd boos. COLE Oh no! Oh no! COACH CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! CHOKESLAM! Cuban Wall has an evil smile on his face as he watches Colombian Heat get up. Heat slowly gets to his feet. COLE Cuban Wall is going for the Chokeslam! This could be the end of this match! COACH It WILL be, Michael! It WILL be! Cuban Wall motions for Heat to get up. Colombian Heat is on his right knee. Wall is yelling for Heat to get to his feet. COLE Wall signaling for another one of his signature moves. The Chokeslam! Colombian Heat is slowly standing up straight. He turns around...Cuban Wall grabs him by the throat! COACH GOOZLE~! GOOZLE~! Cuban Wall taunts Colombian Heat while still clutching his throat! COLE Chokeslam coming up! BUT THEN Colombian Heat kicks Cuban Wall's right knee! He does it again! He does it a few more times, breaking the goozle! Colombian Heat hits Cuban Wall with forearm shots to the face! The shots daze the big man, but that's all they do! COLE Colombian Heat making the comeback! COACH Stop him, Wall! Colombian Heat grabs Cuban Wall's left arm and whips him (after trying twice) into the ropes. Cuban Wall reverses--Colombian Heat bounces off the ropes. Cuban Wall grabs him, lifts him up onto his left shoulder, and falls to his knees, giving him the WALLBREAKER~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 COLE Wallbreaker! Cuban Wall just gave Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker! COACH YEAH! Big time man! Big time! Colombian Heat squirms on the mat! Cuban Wall stares down at Heat, and then rushes forward, bounces off the ropes, rushes forward, jumps up and down crashing onto Colombian Heat! COLE The Lightning Crew Splash! COACH Just like Spanish Fly last week! Cuban Wall gets up to smile evilly, and then covers Colombian Heat. Referee Mike Chioda counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (5:09) "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Cuban Wall absolutely DOMINATED Colombian Heat! "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds starts playing. Cuban Wall gets up, scoffs at Colombian Heat, and then gets his hands raised by Mike Chioda. BUFFER Here is your winner...and STILL One And Only AngleSault Thread Twenty-Four/Seven Champion...CUBANNNNNNNNNNNNN WALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! COLE Cuban Wall controlled most of the match! He barely gave Colombian Heat any offense! Another successful title defense for the current OAOAST 24/7 Champion! COACH Two weeks in a row, baby! First Spanish Fly, now Colombian HACK! And that's all he is, a HACK! Cuban Wall proved it tonight! COLE Well, Cuban Wall IS 6'7" 285 lbs, Coach! This was going to be a challenge for Colombian Heat anyway! COACH Wouldn't a superior athlete be able to overcome the size and weight difference? COLE Maybe... COACH Maybe? No, DEFINITLEY! Cuban Wall proved tonight once and for all that he is better than Colombian Heat! Now hopefully, they'll never have another match against each other ever again! Mike Chioda hands Cuban Wall the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt. Wall raises the belt over his head with his right hand. The crowd boos loudly as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Colombian Heat is lying on the mat, breathing heavily. Mike Chioda checks on him. COLE Colombian Heat tried, but Cuban Wall was just too much for him! Cuban Wall's 24/7 Title reign continues on for another day! Let's take a look at the replay! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to a replay of the match, starting with Cuban Wall headbutting Colombian Heat at the beginning of the match. COACH My man Wall dominated from the beginning! Poor little Colombian Heat tried to fight in the beginning, but Wall just shrugged him off like he should! *Cut to Cuban Wall hitting Colombian Heat with the CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms.* COACH (CONT'D) Watch this! BAM! Cuban Wall with those CLUBBERIN'~! THEY BE CLUBBERIN'~! forearms! *Cut to Cuban Wall clutching Colombian Heat's throat for a chokeslam.* COACH (CONT'D) Cuban Wall went for a chokeslam, and yeah, Colombian Heat managed to escape *that*, lucky bastard. But, you know what? Cuban Wall came back! *Cut to Cuban Wall giving Colombian Heat the Wallbreaker, followed by The Lightning Crew Splash.* COACH (CONT'D) BAM! Wallbreaker! And then, BOO-YAH~! The Lightning Crew Splash! 1! 2! 3! That's it! That's all! That's all there is! *Cut to Cuban Wall raising his right fist in the air when he came out.* COACH (CONT'D) Your winner and STILL STILL OAOAST 24/7 Champion, CUBAN WALL! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. Cuban Wall slings the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his left shoulder. He looks down at Colombian Heat and scoffs, saying something under his breath. Mike Chioda is still checking on Colombian Heat as Cuban Wall exits the ring over the top rope. COLE Colombian Heat tried to avenge his friend's loss last week, but came up short this week! COACH Yeah, life is good for Cuban Wall right now! COLE You maybe right! I mean, who can stop him and end his title reign? COACH NO ONE! That's who! HA HA HA HA HA! COLE Cuban Wall walks away with his head held high. Another victory under his belt as he has been on a roll since winning the 24/7 Title at AngleMania VI! Colombian Heat tried, but in the end, Cuban Wall was just too much for him! But if I know Colombian Heat, I know that he will live to fight another day! Cuban Wall walks up the entrance ramp holding the OAOAST 24/7 Championship belt over his right shoulder. He has a cocky smirk on his face as he walks. Cuban Wall jaw jacks with some fans, threatening to give them a knuckle sandwich should they touch him. He laughs maniacally as he gets to the entrance stage. Colombian Heat is still lying on the mat, his eyes glazed over, breathing heavily, and coughing like mad. He tries to get up as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds continues playing.

-OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Cuban Wall (Champion) vs. Colombian Heat (Challenger) -The Lightning Crew promo

So, we agree? The 24/7 Titles and X-Division Titles will be merged into a brand new belt? Because if that's the case, a storyline idea just popped into my head. Can we possibly hold off on merging the belts till after AngleSlam?

When would we go ahead with the change? Because, what happened last Thursday between Cuban Wall and Colombian Heat is the start of a feud over what is currently the 24/7 Title. And even if we merge the X-Division and 24/7 Titles, I still like the idea of a name change.