Ed Wood Caulfield

Cut to an exterior shot of the Dunkin' Donuts Center. The crowd cheers. The classic WWF Royal Rumble theme song plays while a graphic appears which says LIVE!. COLE We are in the sold out Dunkin' Donuts Center for Anglepalooza 2007! And fans, OAOAST Anglepalooza 2007 is brought to you by The Wicker Man, now on DVD. You owe it to yourself to watch the most hilarious unintentional comedy of the past five years! Today! COACH And by Krispy Kreme Donuts! So good, you'll suck a dick! COLE Wh--what? COACH Yeah, I'm a rebel. Screw you. What what. Boo yah. The lights in the arena go down and then... *”When I die and they lay me to rest Gonna go to the place that's the best When I lay me down to die Goin' up to the spirit in the sky”* MICHAEL COLE That's “Spirit in the Sky”, you know what that means. COACH Oh... yippee *rolls eyes* The entrance doors slide open, and the HI-YAH Champion Faqu is seen standing illuminated by a single spotlight, a spotlight that gleams off the gold over the Samoan's shoulders. FAQU Each year HI-YAH hosts the biggest tournament in Japan. The AngleTron flashes a sign that says “H1 Grand Prix 2007” in big bold letters. FAQU This year, I have persuaded the HI-YAH owner to open the tournament to wrestlers outside of HI-YAH. Several organizations have already staked their claim on a spot in the tournament. The logos of the WWA, the Australian AWF, the European CWF and the Mexican Lucha Libre Munidial flashes across the screen to indicate some of the participating federations. FAQU I will enter this tournament personally along with another representative from HI-YAH and one from the splinter organization HI-GATE, tournaments for the slots are already being planned as I speak. Faqu walks over to his right on the entrance stage as a light shines on a huge 6 foot tall golden trophy and an oversized check with the amount of $1,000,000.- on it. FAQU This is the grand prize of the H1 tournament, in addition to a shot at my HI-YAH Title in case I do not win the tournament. The always serious Faqu gives his title belt a light tap to indicate that he's got no intentions of letting it go anywhere. FAQU OAOAST, I am here to announce that there will be a four man tournament to determine who will be the official OAOAST participant, starting next week on HeldDOWN!! "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!" FAQU I have in my hand the official sign up sheet. Faqu holds up a clipboard and a pen. FAQU The first four men to sign up will be allowed to compete for a shot at the H1 Tournament and ultimately a shot at the HI-YAH crown. I will be on hand for the next two weeks to keep an eye on the OAOAST tournament and give you updates on who else has qualified for the H1 Grand Prix!! The arena lights go back to normal as Faqu has delivered his message. But if you thought this segment was over then you --AND--Faqu has another thing coming. Apparently someone has already decided to sign up for the tournament. MICHAEL COLE Is that... that's James Blonde Faqu looks surprised to see Blonde out there but Blonde doesn't spare his buddy a glance as he reaches for the clipboard and the pen. COACH Is he signing up for this? I thought the two of them were friends? FAQU Hey man what are you doing? JAMES BLONDE You said anyone right? FAQU Well yeah. JAMES BLONDE Well then I'm signing up for it, pal. Faqu reluctantly raises his hand and gives James Blonde the clipboard. FAQU Come on we're friends Jimmy, we've been all over the world together. JAMES BLONDE This isn't about friendship, this is strictly business. I got a tournament to win. And on that note James Blonde signs his name on one of the four boxes on the paper. MICHAEL COLE Did you notice how tense Faqu was when he handed Blonde the clipboard? COACH Well he obviously didn't expect his friend to sign up so eagerly. Blonde finishes writing and then hands the clipboard back to Faqu who angrily snaps it out of Blonde's hand. MICHAEL COLE There you have it fans, this Thursday we'll have a mini tournament to determine who will be the OAOAST entrant into the prestigious H1 Grand Prix tournament. COACH If you thought Faqu was tense now, how will he react if Blonde wins? MICHAEL COLE I'm sure he'll be happy for his friend. COACH Right.... That's his reaction, sure. COLE Anyway, fans, coming up next is a much anticipated match-up. The OAOAST World Tag Team Titles are up for grabs as the Champions, Chicks Over Dicks, take on the challengers, The Sooner Bruisers! The Sooner Bruisers have been on the warpath ever since they lost the belts to C.O.D. at New Year's Spectacular: Mainframe Monday. Can Krista Isadora Duncan and Alix Maria Spezia retain their Titles against the brute force of Big Frank Bruiser and Uber Bruiser? Or can The Sooner Bruisers regain the Titles they believe have been theirs all along? Let's go to the ring, where Michael Buffer is standing by with the introductions. The cameras pan down from a shot of the excited Providence natives to show Michael Buffer waiting in the ring. The legendary announcer smiles to himself, as the buzz of anticipation builds around him. He raises the microphone to his lips, preparing to begin his latest introduction. BUFFER The following Anglepalooza contest is scheduled for one fall, with a time limit of forty minutes, and it is for the OAOAST World Tag Team Championship! (Providence goes wild at the announcement) The official for tonight's contest is Charles Robinson. The affable referee smiles into the camera, enjoying his fifteen seconds of fame. But the majority of the focus sits on the darkened entry way as the working class guitars of Frankenstein bang through the PA system. Crooked maroon letters that read “Sooner Bruisers” flash onto the Angletron, followed up by sights of the men by that name decimating their numerous victims. An explosion of jeers is heard from the rafters, signaling the arrival of the bestial challengers. The entrance doors slide open, and the two men stride out from the back, cracking their necks from side to side, and bouncing up and down, as they try to loosen themselves up for the biggest match of their long wrestling careers. BUFFER Introducing first, the challengers. From Oklahoma, weighing in at a combined weight of five hundred and thirty five pounds, they are former OAOAST Tag Team Champions, and NCAA all Americans, combined between them they have won six NCAA wrestling championships, two world championships, eight high school championships, and seven USA wrestling championships, they are The Pyscho Gremlin, Uber Bruiser, The Man of Tomorrow, Big Frank Bruiser.....THE SOOOONER BRUISEEEEERSSS! Frank rips off his brand new Anglemania T-shirt and chucks it into the audience, before diving into the ring and ascending to the nearest turnbuckle, where he flexes his stunning muscles, and scowls at the booing New Englanders. Uber patrols the outside, growling at those young fans, who are easily intimidated by his tough guy routine. COLE The Sooner Bruisers first appeared in the OAOAST on August Eighth of 2004 as a lovable, but ultimately harmless duo, who wanted nothing more then to win the Tag Team Championship. Since then they've degenerated into deranged, vulgar, psychopaths, but the mission has remained constant. Win those Tag Team Titles. They have one title reign on their trophy case, now they have a chance to add a second. But they have to do it against a team that is like no other they've ever faced before. I'd think the closet team to Chicks Over Dicks they've ever wrestled is the Sk8r Boiz, and the Boiz aren't exactly known as the most consistent tag team on earth. A red pyro waterfall illuminates the entrance stage, and all eyes lock onto the currently vacant entranceway. The sonic drum beats of Sugarcult's Los Angeles rip to life while the red waterfall is courted by a beautiful pink pyro fountain. Standing next to the gorgeous display of pyrotechnics are miniature Angletrons, showcasing COD's entrance video, a highlight reel filled with clips of their breathtaking moves, interspersed with fly through images of the City of Angels, and shots of the champions in various seductive poses. COACH I hate this next part! Cover your ears, Cole. Cover them shits! BOOOOOM!!! A violent explosion of gold pyro destroys the once docile pyrotechnics showing, and causes the capacity crowd to put forth a gargantuan cheer. As the smoke clears, the entrance doors slide open, and Krista Isadora Duncan emerges through the hazy remnants of the fireworks. She sports a stomach exposing red Obey™ tank top that reads "Make Art. Not War" and a black open sided mini skirt that reveals her entire left leg, a show of skin that's always a crowd favourite! Her baby blue eyes cut a hole through her ring based rivals, while she strikes an alluring pose for the screaming audience. BUFFER And the cham......(a huge cheer rises from the stands, drowning out the announcer)....And the champions, first, from Los Angeles, California, she is the CEO of Mrs.Spezia's sweeties, the Hollywood Bad Girl, ALIX MARIA SPEZIA! And her partner, from Los Angeles, California, she is a best selling author, a fitness queen, and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, she is Miss California Krista Isaodra Duncan! Together they are the OAOAST World Tag Team Champions, America's Sweethearts, Chicks Over Dicks! Amidst the resonating cries Alix Maria Spezia skips out through the entrance way in a white tie-up front tube top that's cropped all the way to the chest and white booty shorts. Although her fur wristbands, scarf, and leg warmers are fake, the excitement of the fans is very real as they watch her settles down long enough to join hands with Krista. Krista twirls Alix around, then pulls her into her arms. Alix turns over her shoulder and blows a cute kiss to the camera, leading super imposed red lips to pop on the screen. COACH Hot damn! Those chicks are as hot as a whore house on nickel night! COLE Nickel night? I'd hate to see what kind of whores you can get for a nickel. My guess is that many of them probably have a branch on the Coachman family tree! Anyway, fans, or fans with money, please don't forgot to log on to OAOAST.com or Ebay.com and bid for your chance to spend a day with Chicks Over Dicks. All proceeds go to the Tibetan Freedom Organization! Ally skips down the ramp, passing out her world famous Miss Spezia's Sweeties' brand gingerbread cookies to the appreciative crowd members. Krista is far more focused on the beasts in the ring, never once letting her hateful glare leave their bodies. She takes position at the center of the ring apron, where she offers her rivals several vulgarity filled choice words. Alix slides into the ring, making herself the “starter” for her team. Frank rushes Uber out of the ring, and with our two competitors chosen, Robinson calls for the bell. DING DING DING DONG Alix (foolishly?) accepts Frank's offer for a collar an elbow tie up. The size difference between the two warriors is comical, and Frank plays this up by feigning a mammoth struggle with The Hollywood Bad Girl. Once he grows tired of toying with her, he drops to his side and flings her over with an arm drag. The tug on her limb was strong, and she shoots him an annoyed glare while nursing her sore arm. Frank responds to her complaint by flexing his gargantuan muscles, and informing her that this what she'll be dealing with all night. Not exactly intimidated by his cautionary tale, she stands up to meet him in the center of the ring for another lockup. This time Frank wastes little time with shenanigans, and spins behind her to coil his arms around her skinny waist. He then takes the lightweight off her feet and roughly deposits her onto the mat with an elementary amateur wrestling slam. As she lies face first on the grey canvas, the big man drops to her level, then performs a grounded switch, so that he lies stomach first along her much smaller body. Then he allows her to rise to all fours, only to straddle her like they were about to play a game of horsey. For Alix a simple round of horsey would be much more preferable to the perverse act that Frank actually performs; wildly smacking his palm against her sumptuous BUTT! COACH Oh, boy, that's worth the fourty dollar pay-per-view price tag alone! COLE Why must you think with your penis? COACH Because it's the smartest thing to come out your mouth all day. Obviously enraged by the spanking, the slippery gal quickly backs through Frank's legs and storms to a vacant corner. While the crowd boos her adversary, she fastens an expression of a sheer hatred upon him. Frank ignores their combined anger, and instead turns to Krista, telling her that anytime she wants some of that hot action all she has to do is ask. Krissy's response is to give Frank the finger, which merely draws a smile from The Man of Tomorrow. He refocuses his attention on Alix, and leans into her for another lockup. However he feints on the move, and ducks low to grab hold of Alix's bare legs. He lifts her onto his shoulders, while allowing a devious chuckle to escape his mouth. But his actions are anything but chuckle worthy, brutally slamming Alix to the mat with careless disregard for her physical health. She lands with a violent impact in her corner, and gasps of agony immediately hiss out of her bright red lips. COACH I don't even think that move has a name, it's just picking someone up and tossing them aside like they weren't nothing. Bored with tossing Alix around like a ragdoll, The Man of Tomorrow points a meaty finger at Krista and demands she enter the ring so that he can have some “real competition.” Uber seconds Frank's plea, even going so far as to deem Alix “useless” and a waste of their “good time”. Though Krista would heartily disagree with that assessment, she looks on with a mixture of confusion and anger. Part of her wishes to give Al the chance to prove them wrong, but another part of her wants these loathsome animals all to herself. However her wishes are a moot point, as Ally isn't willing to leave the match anytime soon. She confidently strolls towards the Oklahoman bully and engages him in another lockup. Again Frank spins behind her for a quick waistlock. Alix instantly and unsuccessfully tries to free herself from his clutches. The futile nature of her effort brings a smile to his face. For a moment Alix gives up on her attempt, and her body sags in weakened depression. Pleased that he's squashed her fighting spirit, Frank prepares to hit her with a german suplex. But before he can even get her an inch off the ground, Alix drives the heel of her shoe into his size 14 boot! The pain of the sneaky move causes the Bruiser to release the hold, and hop around the squared circle in misery. Both audience and foe mock his misfortune, the crowd by cheering his woe and Alix by mimicking his wild hoping. Her taunting angers Frank enough to push aside the pain and charge her with a shoulder block. But she counters the attack with a drop toe hold! However, The Man of Tomorrow rises as quickly as he fell, and proceeds to dart towards her with another shoulder block. This time Alix ends all his forward momentum by slamming her fur covered boots into his kneecaps! The strike sinks a moaning Frank to his knees, and gives Alix all the time she needs to leap onto the second rope, springboard off and lance her leg into his thick neck! COLE Alix is bringing Frank down to her size! Cole may have spoke to soon, as Frank rises to his full vertical base. However he spends his time upright in a most ridiculous fashion, hobbling to and fro like an inebriated cripple. The brunette babe takes advantage of his wounded state by latching onto his arm and thrusting him towards the corner. But Frank reverses Alix midway through the move and forces a torturous back first meeting with the ringposts upon her. The Okie charges her, employing a body splash in his effort to splatter her across the venue. But Ally avoids the move by sticking her feet into the air, and letting Frank get up close and personal with her furry footwear! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” scream the audience. While poor Frank tries to remove the gob of faux fur from his mouth, Alix uses his moment's distraction to ascend to the top turnbuckle. The sold out audience belts out a deep throated roar of anticipation, as her brown eyes narrow in on her target. The cute Californian flashes a peace sign to her adoring fans then springs off the ropes. She wraps her athletic legs around his thick neck then pulls forward, using the velocity of the move to turn Frank head over heels! The onlookers bellow with delight when they watch Frank get flung across the ring into a vacant corner. In spite of the nauseating nature of the hold, Frank quickly rises to his feet and makes another blind charge to Alix. Once again Ally Cat is ready for him and greets his arrival with a drop toe hold! Unable to mount a suitable defense for the move, Frank lands with a disgusting face first thud onto the canvas. Krista and the audience applaud Alix's exhibition of skill, but Uber nervously paces along the apron, afraid his over confident brother may not be able to handle Alix's quickness. But Ally's speed becomes the least of Frank's worries when The Hollywood Bad Girl decides to serve him a taste of his own perverted medicine. She takes seat on his muscular back, and after a sly nod to the buzzing crowd, proceeds to ram her hand into his fleshy BUTT! As her hands bounce across the horrified warrior's backside, she indulges her inner gangsta by singing Disco Inferno by 50 Cent. “Little mama show me how you move it, go ahead and put ya back into it. Do ya thang like it ain't nothing to it. Sh-sh-sh-shake that ass girl!” The spectators are throughly amused at Miss Spezia's mistreatment of her challenger. Uber, on the other hand, is all like “WTF DOOD? U SUK FGT!” or some such nonsense. COACH So if I shell out fourteen grand to the Tibetan whatever organization for that auction, that's the kind of hot action I can look forward to? While many men, and more then a few women, would kill their own mother to be in Frank's position, the Man of Tomorrow isn't so thrilled to be in this predicament. In an effort to end this embarrassing charade, he uses his herculean strength to stand up and hurl Alix off his back. Ally quickly composes herself, and thankfully so, because Frank is barreling down on her with an axe handle smash! Fortunately, she dives underneath the ropes before he can lay a hand on her. He leans over the cables and spews vulgar orders for her to return to the squared circle. Alix is more then happy to not oblige his request and instead further enrages Frank by leaping onto the announce table and doing the RUNNING MAN. This latest show of disrespect dunks Frank into new depths of rage, and he takes his anger out on poor Charlie Robinson's shirt collar. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” chant the audience. Alix renters the battlefield on her volition, but refuses to cease her taunting of Big Frank. While Robinson desperately tries to bring The Man of Tomorrow under control, Ally imitates his bodybuilding-esque poses, by doing her own set of poses complete with a face that's best compared to one you might make if you have explosive diarrhea. COLE Big Frank has been totally thrown off his game. Alix applies the tag to gal-pal Krista Isaodra Duncan, denying Frank a chance for desperately sought after vengeance. Krista's arrival is greeted with a resonating ovation, and chants of “K-I-D!” spring forth from every corner of the venue. Back in the center of the ring, Robinson is having a devil of a time calming down The Man of Tomorrow. It would seem the burly strong man isn't able to put Alix's boorish abusage of him aside, and once again demands that she return to face him. Unfortunately for him, his wish will not be Krista's demand, and Miss California swings behind him to grab a waistlock. She then drops to her knees, and hauls The Man of Tomorrow to the canvas with double leg take down. However Frank is able to use his superior amateur technique to thwart her takedown and roll behind her to grab a seated hammerlock. The moment the move is applied, the fitness queen feels a sharp pressure build within her limbs. This burning pain immediately forces her to make moves to escape the hold. She rises to her feet, thinking that she'll be able use her free arm to elbow her way out of the hold. Yet this plan is snuffed out the second Frank transitions to a side headlock. He tightly wrenches the hold, torquing her neck and making every effort to rip her head clear off her body. The bitter agony of Frank's death grip becomes too much for Krista to bear, and she begins to dig her nails into his eyes in a sick attempt to free herself from his clutches. Frank wiggles his body back and forth, trying his hardest to avoid her berserk efforts to claw his eyes out. However his quick body movements take him into the ropes, where Krista hooks her ankle around the bottom cable. Using the rope as a stabilizing base, she puts her hand onto his expansile midsection and heaves him towards the opposite end of the ring. She pursues his path, ready to overtake him with a leg lariat. But before she can get off the ground, a rebounding Frank pushes her to the mat with a shoulder block. She rolls onto her six packed stomach, praying that Frank will hop over her and continue his running of the ropes. He takes her bait and leaps over her body on his trip to cables, and comes back with the lethal Soonerline. But the blond bombshell is adequately prepared for the move, and grabs onto his attacking him to flip him over with an arm drag! “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” sing the fans. Face aflame with anger, Frank rises, looking to decimate the recipient of the audience's love. But no such action will come to pass, because Krista overtakes him with another crowd popping arm drag! Again Frank stands just as quickly as he fell. But he's given no opportunity to mount an attack as Krissy knocks him over with a fabulous flipping dropkick! Krista plays to her legions of adoring fans, and to her own by beauty, by fluffing her gorgeous blond tresses. The simple motion sends the crowd into a state of absolute rapture, but leaves Frank in a phase of utter anger. With his blood pressure rising to lethal levels, Frank determines that he can no longer preserve his sanity and combat COD at the same time. Thus he applies the tag to his younger sibling, Uber Bruiser. The Pyscho Gremlin arrives into the squared circle amidst a chorus of jeers and taunts. But he pays them no mind, instead focusing his attention exclusively upon Krista. He orders her to engage in a lock up, and she happily grants the request, locking horns with Uber in the center of the ring. Uber uses his brute strength to raise Krista's left arm above her head, allowing him to slip behind her and hook in a waistlock. Problematically, he's never given a chance to do much more then that, as Krista grabs onto his right arm, then dives to the mat, pulling Uber down with her. The Pyscho Gremlin moves quickly, scissoring his tree trunk sized legs around her neck, briefly regaining control of the bout. But his grip on Miss California isn't nearly as tight as he would've hoped, and she succeeds in kipping up to freedom. She patiently waits for her frustrated foe to rise, then attempts to a deliver a knee into his midsection. However he counters the strike, by stepping to his side and snaring her into a side headlock. Again his grip is dangerously weak, and the Los Angeles native has little difficulty in breaking it by turning the hold into a standing key lock. The now desperate Bruiser calls upon his most basic of amateur training to turn the tables on his pesky rival. He drops backwards pulling over with a modified arm drag. Working with great speed he tries to hold Krista down with a top wristlock. But that holds last for nary a second, before Krista spins to her knees and reverses it into an armlock. COACH I gotta say Krista's holding her own when it comes to mat wrestling with Uber. Looks to me like he underestimated her, but I don't see this pattern repeating itself throughout the match. Krista's hold wasn't designed to do much besides put in an end to the flurry of amateur based counter the two were engaging in. But that simple fact doesn't stop the fitness queen from gleefully ripping and wrenching Uber's limb, causing irritated grunts to leave the lips of the former Tag Team Champion. Twenty painful seconds into the move, Uber begins to feel as if the woman is planning on separating his shoulder from it's socket. This obviously being something he doesn't want to have happen, Bruiser utilizes his leg strength to push himself to his feet. Krista has no choice but to follow him up, lest she'd run the risk of losing control over her foe. Uber takes his free hand and presses it against her attacking arm, hoping that it will prevent her from applying additional pressure. In actuality, the technique manages to loosen her grip just enough to allow him to maneuver her towards a neutral corner. She's unable to stop Bruiser's counter and thus finds her tan figure wedged against turnbuckles. The dutiful official steps in and requires her to release Uber, a request she quickly grants. Yet this leaves her open to a cheap shot in the form of a knee to the stomach from her retribution seeking rival. “BOOOO!” goes the crowd, prompting Uber to howl towards them in response. Her ribs burning almost as hot as the hatred she holds for her rivals, Krista begins to slowly crumple to the mat. But Uber shoots her upwards with a flesh searing knife edge chop. As she whimpers in misery, he snakes his fingers through her vibrant hair and drags her towards the middle of the ring. His tattooed arms coil around her neck, trapping her within another side headlock. Desperate to rid herself off the man's treacherous tentacles, Krista hooks onto his spandex tights, hoping against hope that she'll be able lift him into a backsuplex. However her ludicrous desire goes unanswered, and Uber drags her to his domain with a headlock takedown. With the headlock still applied, he drives his left shoulder into her deltoids, pushing her shoulders into the mat for a pinning predicament. Robinson makes the count. ONE TWO Krista gets her shoulders off the mat well before the three count. COLE I may not like the guy but I'll give credit to Uber for getting Krista into a pinning situation while still doing damage to her neck. Stricken with a burning desire to escape Uber's dungeon, Krissy delves into her bag of tricks in order to mount an escape attempt. She slashes her nails across his face liked a crazed feline, making a grand effort to slice out her foe's frosty eyes. When that approach meets with failure, Miss California turns towards slamming her fist into his ear, praying that the sudden jolt and devilish headache will win her freedom. Unfortunately The Pyscho Gremlin proves to be impervious to these underhanded tactics, and the hold remains stable. Eventually he hauls Krista upright, where he begins to drag her towards his corner. But the sudden movement causes his grip to adjust ever so slightly. This minuscule change in pressure is all KID needs to shove him into the ring ropes. However her offensive salvo has a depressingly short shelf life, and the Okie is able to steamroll her with a shoulder tackle. Acting on instinct alone, she rolls onto her stomach, where Uber hops over her and journeys to the ropes. He returns to her her, thinking he'll be able to squash her with a body splash. Imagine his surprise when his pug ugly face is introduced to the underside of her Adidas snow boots by a kip up dropkick! The Bruiser plummets to the canvas, as the audience comes alive with cheers for their heroine. COLE Krista just taking Uber off his feet with a dropkick. And those aren't exactly the cheapest shoes you can use in a wrestling match. While Cole educates the viewers on the intricacies of women's snow boots, Krista grabs Uber by his mullet and pulls the groggy brawler to his feet. She entraps him into a half nelson, then shoots her body forward. The momentum of the move causes Uber to follow her downwards, and his face endures a viscous meeting with solid as steel canvas. Krista offers him no time to lick his wounds, as she hooks his leg for the pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO The Psycho Gremlin shoots his shoulder off the mat, drawing several boos from the audience. He rises under his own accord, only to be instantly pounced on by the champion. She underhooks his right arm, then drops her knees to the canvas causing his square jaw to be violently driven into her shoulder. Blood forming at the tip of his mouth, he wobbles from side to side, left dizzied by her attack. Krista capitalizes on his brief disorientation by clamping onto his tights and pulling him down for a small package. ONE An effortless kickout by Uber follows the one count. Despite the ease of the pin escape, he's unable to regain control of the contest, and his enemy punishes him with grounded knee strikes to the chest. After she finishes devouring his pectorals with her kneecaps she drags the amateur wrestler to his feet. From there she entangles him within an inverted headlock. He shoots knees towards her pretty face in an attempt to escape the hold, but his stubby legs fail to reach the champion. As such she's easily able to spin to his side, slice her arm through his neck, and push him down to the canvas with a variated DDT! While Uber lays a battered wreck on the floor, the onlookers loudly ovate Krista's flashy move. Once again she attempts a lateral press... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber pushes himself out of the pinning situation! COACH It's gonna take a little more then an inverted snap DDT to pin a collegiate All-American. A look of frustration over the pinfall escapes takes shape on Krista's face as she watches her vexing foe writhe along the canvas. The snarling diva directs her anger onto Uber, throwing stomps towards the neck her DDY just violated. Eventually Uber is able to rise to his feet past the wave of hate filled kicks. Yet this proves to be a terrible course of action, as one spinning back kick from Krista forces him into a neutral corner. She stalks his position, but by the time she reaches The Pyscho Gremlin, he's recovered enough of his strength to paste her with a knife edge chop. The fearsome blow rocks Krista to her very core, but she summons enough gusto to return fire with her own chop. Unphased by a back hand slap from a 150 pound woman, Bruiser blasts her with a duo of overhand chops that tear away at the fabric of her shirt, and push her back towards the center of the ring. He then exits the corner, and takes firm hold of her hair. He violently jerks her head downward, while at the same time driving his other arm upward, catching her chin with a rising elbow. The pain doesn't even get the time to settle in Krista's body, before The Pyscho Gremlin is attempting to whip her to ropes. It's an attempt that fails, however, and KID painstakingly reverses the hold. Uber hits the ropes, returning to bulldoze Krista with an elbow strike. But the blond bombshell counters this tactic, by hitting the mat and grounding him with a drop toe hold. The Okie was able to get his hands up to protect his face from the harsh mats, but that defense does nothing to protect him from getting Oklahoma Rolled by Krista! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Despite the nausea Krista's series of moves induced, Uber is able to move his shoulder off the mat. COLE What irony that would've been, a Sooner Bruiser getting beat by a move called the Oklahoma Roll. The latest kickout only managed to escalate Krista's already towering level of frustration. Once more Uber becomes the target for her ire, getting hauled to his feet, and led to a vacant corner. Growling with primal rage, Krista plunges his bearded face into the turnbuckle, delighting when she hears a distinct groan of agony bubble in his throat. Her barbaric pleasure is momentarily ended when Uber shoots an elbow into her well developed stomach. But thanks to the “abs of steel” nature of her midsection Krista is able to shrug aside the pain, and launch Uber towards his corner. But he reverses the move and sends Krista running towards the turnbuckles. This innocent reversal turns deadly the second Big Frank's knee is driven into Krista's back! She instantly sinks to her own knees, howling in marked pain that just adds to the audiences hatred for the Bruiser brothers. Ally and the crowd urge Robinson to lay down the law. But Charlie, who's scared shitless of Frank, isn't overly willing to incur any more of The Man of Tomorrow's wrath. COACH Out of the ring these cats may be way out of control, but within it they are a cohesive well oiled wrestling machine. COLE Of course they are Coach, they've beaten Black T, The Heavenly Rockers, South Central Militia, and like I said they haven't actually lost a match in a year. I hate to say it, but you can argue that they are the best active tag team in the OAOAST. Uber hurls a dazed Krista into the black ring cables. Thankful her cloud of grogginess disappears just in time to avoid his standing lariat! Her feet move her towards Frank, who's eagerly awaiting a chance to impale her with a shoulder block. But his dream remains just that, as Krista blasts him off the apron with a running knee strike! Teeth, sweat, babyoil, and blood filled spit join Frank in a tumultuous crash to the ringside mat, as the audience shake the rafters with a mighty roar. “K-I-D! K-I-D! K-I-D!” Spurred on by a rush of adrenaline, Krista directs a running elbow smash towards Uber. But he avoids the strike by lowering his body and locking her down with a waistlock. His body movements say German Suplex but his adversary says otherwise, shooting a round of elbows into his noggin. The unanswered series of blows cause his grip to weaken, and allow KID to execute a standing switch. Unlike he, she has no disillusions of hitting a German Suplex, and instead goes for a simple but effective school boy. C-Rob counts the pin... CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber makes another last minute escape, by reaching up and shoving her into his vacant corner. But the area doesn't stay vacated for long, as Frank, like a monster rising from a swampy morass, returns to the apron to latch onto Krista's head and drive her throat first into the cables. She recoils off the ropes, pawing at her wounded neck, making a useless effort to stop her last bit of breath from abandoning her. Krista's troubles only increase when Uber nearly decapitates her with the lethal Soonerline. She folds to the mat in a whimpering heap, unable to discern what's worse, the suffocating pain in her neck, or the feeling that her chest just got torn through with a buzz saw. The Pyscho Gremlin adds another choice to her option of maladies, by dropping his elbow squarely onto the top of her forehead. COLE Just like you said, Coach, these men operate like machines. They've been involved in wrestling competitions since they were five years old, they know the ring, the mat, inside and out, and that's what makes them nearly unbeatable. Uber takes Kris by the arm and pulls her upright. Still holding her limb, he drags her towards him, then leans forward to punish her with a lariat, the forward motion of the devastating hold making it even more horrific to endure. She sags to the canvas, clutching her badly injured chest, and desperately seeking some sort of aid. But jailed within the Bruisers' dungeon, the most she, or any one else, can do is watch helplessly as Uber applies the tag to his older sibling. A front row fan, sitting with his ten year old daughter, offers Krista a suggestion on how to battle The Man Of Tomorrow “Hey, Krista, if you wanna scare Frank, tell him you're gonna make him take a piss test!” “ONLY IF I CAN USE YOUR DAUGHTER'S MOUTH AS MY CUP!” Frank retorts, causing the enraged spectator to attempt to hop the guardrail and fight Big Frank. COLE Uncalled for! While security tries to subdue the livid fan, Frank rifles stomps into Krista's chest. She's so wounded by Uber's prolonged assault that she can't even think to protect herself against the barrage. After the tenth kick, Frank abruptly calls his stomping to a close. Krista has little reason to be thankful for this action due to the fact that Frank then presses his maroon boots onto the bottom rope, driving the coarse cable into her sore neck. The ropes strangle Krissy, and muffle her screams into weakened sighs of desperation. These cries are barely heard over Frank's own bloodthirsty shouts of triumph. Meanwhile, Charles Robinson gives Frank to the count of five to release his tortured prisoner. “ONE! TWO! Come on, Mister Bruiser! THREE! FOUR! FI...” Big Frank ceases his death choke of Krista before Robinson is presented the opportunity to disqualify him. The official weakly warns him about his suspect tactics, but one “Shut the fuck up” later turns the spineless zebra into a mute. Frank moves his attention back to his rival, and stands her up, readying a punch that's certain to be a knock out blow. However evades the potential death strike by wildly slamming her shoulder into his gut. Frank doubles over in a mixture of minor discomfort and sudden shock, allowing Miss California to pepper him with kicks. When she feels that he's been properly weakened by her strikes, she makes an effort to toss him into the ropes. He's not quite as weakened as she believed, though, and she's exposed to this annoying fact when he reverses the hold. Her feet carry her to the ropes, then sprint her back into waiting knee to the gut from her advesary. COACH Let me tell you another reason why the Sooner Bruisers are going to win this match. Because they were conceived, born, raised, and will do in the gym. These guys were bred to do nothing but be athletes. This is their entire life, they have no other reason to exist otherwise. COLE I'm sure they thank you for that lovely backhanded compliment. With Krista a quivering mess of flesh and bones, her attacker stands upon her legs and awkwardly bends them backwards. He then sits back, raising her into the air and taking firm hold of her unmoving arms. She's lift staring into the bright arena lights, her limbs being painfully contorted by this blue collar psychopath. COACH That hold is commonly referred to as the bow and arrow lock. Alix is left aghast by Krista's predicament and immediately does everything within in her power to rally her partner to battle against the treacherous villain. She frantically beats her hands against the top rope, and pleads with the crowd to get behind her cause. The Rhode Islanders quickly and boisterously throw themselves into the task of motivating Krista towards freedom. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” COLE The fans are getting behind Krista like always, but it's more of a matter of Krista getting out of this bow and arrow lock. Krista doesn't have to map out an escape route, because Frank shockingly lets her go free. This is no merciful respite, however, and The Man of Tomorrow moves her into an equally deadly rear chinlock with a body scissors. He makes certain to position Krista so that she faces her worried partner, then cruelly informs the both of them that once she chokes Krista out, he and his brother will have their way with Alix. COLE Frank's playing mind games right now, but not only is he doing that she's sucking the wind and the breath right out of Krista. Drawing strength from Alix's and the crowd's support, as well as motivation from Big Frank's vulgar taunts, Krista shifts her body to the left and manages to head upright. But Frank tracks her movement with expert precision and clamps down on her with a front facelock. As Alix shouts out even more cheers of encouragement, Kris takes up the monumental task of raging against his hold, tugging at his iron like arms to wade off the mounting tension. But she can't peel them away long enough to break free or even breathe comfortably for that matter. He then makes her all her rebellious efforts for naught, using a DDT to blast her to mat with carefully calculated force. Krista lets out a resonant cry that seems capable of leveling the ring with it's volume. COLE Not a whole lot of flashy offense from The Bruisers that many of our fans like to see. But the attacks that these guys use have one very important property: they hurt like heck! COACH I'm glad to see that you're finally showing these cats some mad respect. COLE I never said anything about not respecting their athletic technique. It's their behavior outside the ring that leaves much to be desired. Fairly pleased with the damage he's caused, Frank tags his brother into the fray. Uber hits the ring and instantly tries to take advantage of his bro's hardwork by attempting a pin. ONE TWO The SoCal Beauty defiantly kicks out, leaving annoyed Uber to direct a menacing stare Robinson's way. While the ref shyly holds up two fingers, Krista expends a great deal of energy by standing up on her own power. Bruiser instantly pounces on her, sucking her into the oft-used front facelock. Feeling the pooling warmth of pain around her neck, Krissy wildly fights back, and somehow succeeds slipping her head out of his arm and scoring an Irish Whip But the amateur wrestling legend saw the move coming and reverses the attack, bouncing her off the ropes. As she returns to the center of the ring Uber throws up his leg for a big boot, but she evades the move by rolling underneath it and continuing her run of the ropes. After she returns from the opposite cables, Bruiser hits his deadly mark with a knee to her six packed stomach. Krista is reduced into a wheezing, coughing, mess and is totally incapable of preventing The Pyscho Gremlin from shoving her into the ropes and hitting her with another kneestrike. Wailing in defiance, she stays on her feet, refusing to accept defeat at the hands of her relentless opponents. But Krista's defiance just gives Uber further license to pulverize her, and he belts her with three more knee strikes. “LET'S GO KRISTA! LET'S GO KRISTA!” bleat the crowd, led on by Jade and Alix. COACH These dudes is cutting the ring off and stomping the life out of Krista. I can think of better ways to double team a woman who looks like that, but I ain't gonna be the one to tell 'em how to do their jobs! Uber buries the under sole of his boot deep into Krista's back, causing the fitness queen to spasm in pain. Three more brutal stomps follow, each being accompanied by the same disheartening convulsions. Upon completing the stomping, he drags her to her feet, where he fastens her into a waistlock. The Pyscho Gremlin raises her into the air, then dives backwards, executing a mammoth suplex! While the fans react with cringes and cries, the extraordinary force of the move carries Krista upright and directs her staggering body towards The Bruisers corner. Always looking for an excuse to inflict as much pain as possible on Krista, Big Frank leans over the ropes and rudely slugs her in the back of the head with a forearm, knocking her to the mat. COLE Robinson, you've got to do something about that! It's your job! “Owwwwww owwww owww!” Uber howls, standing proudly over the body of his soon to be vanquished enemy. In a most unusual display of aerial showmanship that Frank is imploring him not to take, Uber ascends to the third rope. The crowd murmurs in anxious anticipation, unsure of the last time they have saw a Bruiser offer a move from the third rope. However they won't witness that rare sight tonight, thanks to Krista gathering enough of her strength to crotch the man on the ringpost! Shaken and miserable, The Pyscho Gremlin teeters back and forth on the ropes, clenching his little warriors and making sure her cruel move hasn't shattered his prized possessions. Perhaps sniffing blood in the air, and sensing a chance to avenge the past ten minutes of utter hell, Krista scorches towards Uber like a blond bat out of hell and joins him atop the turnbuckle. She leaps into the sky, and ties her toned legs around his neck. Their glorious strength then rips him off the turnbuckle with an audience pleasing hurricanrana! Both competitors gracefully travel through the air, before encountering a far less graceful collision into the canvas. COLE What height on that hurricanrana! I don't think the Bruisers have ever dealt with a team that uses nothing but cruiser weight moves, and whenever Alix and Krista use a speed based attack, The Bruisers are left dumbfounded. COACH They've been stomping on Krista for the past thirteen minutes and you wanna give the most prized title in all of tag team wrestling to COD because of one little hurricanrana? You a gender traitor and a fool ass mark. His immense desire to torture Krista taking a momentary backseat to a primal urge to survive, Uber rolls away, creating some much needed distance between he and the suddenly resurgent champion. Krista seems to be swimming against an agonizing current, the duress she's under making her crawl to her corner an extremely arduous one. Alix, sensing that she's COD best chance to capture the gold, furiously beats on the turnbuckle, trying to mobolize her fallen partner. Soon the entire crowd joins in, stamping their feet in unison, sending encouraging noises to Krista's frayed spirit. Drawing on their heartwarming show of support, Kris, face steeled with gritty determination, digs her nails into the canvas and claws her way to the corner. Suddenly The Pyscho Gremlin stirs, giving rise to concerned gasps from the crowd. Unwilling to afford Krista the chance to make a much needed tag, he locks his hand around her ankle, trying his hardest to freeze her in place. Despite his tight lockdown, Alix's unwavering encouragement sparks Krista to fight past the cutthroat bully. With one titanic lunge, she surges forward make a hot tag to her perky partner! “YEAAAAA!” The fans are brought to a state of euphoria as The Hollywood Bad Girl reenters the bout! She temporarily ignores Uber, and makes a bee line for Big Frank, dropkicking the HGH enhanced monster off the apron! Seeking to defend his brother's honor, as well as curtail COD's new found momentum, Uber rampages towards Alix. But the agile warrior defends against his strike by jumping onto the third rope and flying back at him with a splendid lionsault press! He tries to step out of the way, but frustratingly moves himself into the line of fire for an inverted face lock that Alix easily morphs into an Inverted DDT! “Owwwww, owwww, owww!” Alix howls, mimicking The Pyscho Gremlin to the Rhode Islanders' unrestrained joy. Disgusted with Alix's mocking, Uber stands up with the intent on making her pay for her comedic routine with a clubbing forearm. But Ally snuffs out his attacking flame by grabbing onto his descending limb, lacing her leg between his and driving him into the canvas with the True Life: I just got beat up by a girl (STO)! Now sooner then Uber smacks against the mat does his big brother interject himself into the fracas, bearing down on Ally with a shoulder tackle. But the ferocious tiger is turned into a docile pussycat by Alix who nearly knocks his head off with a standing enziguri. Dazed and mortally wounded by the thunderous kick, Frank rolls his carcass out the ring, leaving his sibling to fend for himself. COLE The quickness of COD continues to confound the Bruisers! With Uber momentarily incapacitated, Alix stands at The Pyscho Gremlin's side and puts her big ol' booty on duty, bouncing her voluptuous backside up and down to the delight of the audience. Those home based viewers who are to proud to jerk off to Girls Gone Wild commercials like the rest of us begin to shake hands with their one eyed milk man at the glorious sight of Alix's thrusting and pumping tush. But she leaves them with a serious a case of blue balls when she cuts short her display and hurls herself at Uber with a standing moonsault. Yet, Uber rolls out of the way the exact second she begins her ascent! He stands up, expecting to see the pleasing image of her remains splattered across the canvas. Picture his shock and horror when her boots impact solidly against his face with a dropsault! “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” bleat the audience. Similar to his relative, a woozy Uber begins to beat a hasty retreat to the outside. Alix isn't as willing to let him escape as she was his brother, and he only gets as far as the ring apron before her hands snag his mullet and drag him upright. She lays him back first across the second rope, and pelts his chest with overhand chops to further subdue him. Once she's assured that he lacks the strength to escape his awful position, she makes her way up the turnbuckles. The now standing crowd screams with eagerness for what's sure to be a breath taking move. ALIX Miss Spezia certainly doesn't disappoint her legion of adoring fans, launching herself off the top rope with a leg drop. Still stuck on the ropes, Uber finally revives himself from his groggy state. Unfortunately his freshly unblurred vision is engulfed by the entirety of Alix's tan leg descending upon his face. Her limb cuts right through his muscular neck, and the force of her amazing strike flings him off the ropes and into the ring. While he gasps for the air that's all but abandoned him, she covers his body with a lateral press. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE--- Big Frank ends the pinfall by driving an axe handle smash into her back! “BOOOOOO!” Franks reappearance in the contest is short lived, however,as the moment he stands up to deliver a beating to Alix, Krista delivers him to the outside mats by knocking him over the ropes with a high flipping lariat! COLE Frank did his part by keeping him team alive, but it looks like it's back down to Alix and Uber. Upon assuming a standing position, Uber lobs another lariat towards Ally's face. But the speedy lady slips bellow his outstretched arm, and pops up behind him. With fist clenched for a discus punch, he whirls around, thinking he can floor her with one mighty strike. No such action occurs, though, as Alix lights his chest up with a trilogy of knife edge chops. Each strike does a beautiful job of ripping away at the man's pale skin, but his mounting anger allows him to brush the damage aside and land a harsh knee into her stomach. Another knee follows, and Uber assumes very tenuous control on this match. He let's her go free, and she crawls to a neutral corner, nursing her stomach, moaning pain, and wondering how's she going to regain the advantage over this terrible monster. Uber's answer is that she can't, and he lays a thick forearm into her back to hammer that point home. The pain from that single strike is so immense that Alix has to turn to face him, just to protect her now seriously wounded back. Problematically this leaves her open to what ever strike Bruiser's vile mind can concoct. Rather then try anything fancy, he simply whips her towards the ropes. This proves to be an amazingly boneheaded blunder, as upon her return Alix slides into him for a wheel barrel set up. She then elevates her body towards his head, and snares her arm around his neck for a flashy bulldog. But her high risk move never materializes in reality, thanks to The Pyscho Gremlin grabbing hold of her slender waist and slamming her face first into the canvas. Alix's hands immediately go up to attend to the burning pain in her face, but their soft touch is quickly replaced by the rough feel of Uber's skin as he locks her into a Crippler Crossface! The agony brought on by the hold builds at an alarming rate, and Alix begins weeping with sincerity, unsure of how much of this torturous hold she'll be able to withstand. Stuck in the center of the ring, the ropes appear so distant they might as well be in on an other continent. Thus she sadly raises her hand to submit to the lethal submission hold and award her Tag Team Title to the brothers grim. But Krista drives her point of her boot into Uber's skull, causing him to involuntarily break the hold! Incensed over Krissy denying his team their second Tag Team Titles, Frank reaches into the ring and drags her to the outside where he plans on mangling her face with an assist from the steel guardrail. But the only one who gets their face mangled in this exchange is Frank, as Krista obliterates his stout nose with an audience popping superkick! Frank hits the mat like a sack of bricks, blood streaming out of his nostrils, tracing along the jagged contours of his puffy cheeks. Being the sweet soul that she is, Krista pulls her compact mirror out of her pocket and holds it up to Frank's face so he can see just how “great” his remodeled nose looks. “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Meanwhile, Uber has Miss Spezia prepped for a basic body slam. But the elementary hold turns into a complex mess for the Okie when Alix's baby oil soaked body slips out of his clutches and lands behind him. Before Uber is even made aware of the fact that she's no longer within his grasp, her shoes are dropkicking him towards the ropes. Never the most graceful OAOAST superstar, Uber manages to trip over his own two feet, and deposit his chunky frame onto the second rope. His klutzy loss is actually Alix's gain, because she believes that he's in the perfect position to be eradicated by one of her famous high risk attacks. Alix charges towards her vulnerable foe and leaps through the second rope, while latching onto the third and second cable to maintain her precious balance. She uses her generated momentum to swing back towards Uber, seeking to strike him with the 619, or 310 in her case. Perhaps a better name in this particular instance would be “failed attempt” because Uber somehow succeeds in catching her twirling body within his arms. While the crowd jeers his otherwise impressive counter, he backs away from the ropes, scanning his brain for a devastating move to unleash on helpless Alix. No one will ever know what his pea sized mind came up with, because Krista dismounts her perch on the top rope and drives a missile dropkick into his forehead! The move “blesses” him with an excruciatingly miserable headache, and more importantly pushes he and Alix into a lateral press. Robinson makes the count! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO But Uber kicks out well before the three count is made. Shifting his focus away from the downed competitor, Robinson beseeches Kris to depart the ring so that some semblance of order can be granted to this contest. Needless to say Krista would prefer to continue the repeated double teaming of her hapless rival, and an argument ensues. COACH How the hell did Uber kick out after getting kicked right in the dome? It looked like her boot went straight through his cerebellum. But ole boy stay steady kicking out. While Krista fights a losing verbal battle with Robinson, her partner in state endorsed civil union has taken position on the top turnbuckle. An excited buzz comes from the many fans who expect Alix to enchant them with one of her many dazzling displays of aerial technique. But rather then use a shooting star press, or a 450 splash or even a friggin' fist drop, Alix chooses to remain on her pulpit and offer a eulogy to Julius Cesar. “Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears! I come to bury Julius Cesar, not to praise him!” she bellows, confusing the hell out of the crowd, many of whom read on the same level as that of a dead skunk. Her audition for the role of Mark Anthony is cut short by the troubling sight of Big Frank Bruiser, blood stained face and all, darting across the ring. Alix readies herself to meet his charge with a ruinous aerial counterattack. But he moves with preternatural speed and by the time she properly balances herself, he's joining her at the height of the ring post. She stages a defense of her position, but Frank's brute strength renders her efforts pointless, and he propels her through the sky with a Kurt Angle-esque belly to belly suplex! Alix plummets into the canvas, scarcely able to do more then sob in misery and pray that the powerful move didn't manage to fracture any of her bones. To make matters worse for COD, by the time Charles is finally able to convince Krista to leave the ring, Frank runs towards her position and shoves her off the apron. She slams into the guardrail, where concerned fans instantly begin patting her on the back and make sweet efforts to nurse her back to health. Her pride seems more hurt then any part of her body, and she dedicates her time on the outside not to thanking her admires for their support, but to yelling “ I told you so, asshole!” at an apologetic Robinson. COACH That's why you don't go fuckin' wit Midwest thugs! Soft ass Cali bitches get merked trying that shit! Robinson is required to pull his attention away from the beautiful, but enraged blond on the outside, in order to count Uber's pinfall. ONE TWO THRE...but Alix kicks out, and her escape causes Rhode Island to shout in happiness. Uber isn't able to comprehend how Alix evaded certain defeat, and his appalled eyes turn on Robinson, who he vehemently accuses of being involved in a mass conspiracy to deny him his rightful gold. In fact Uber's confusion over the failed pinfall is so intense that it permits him to do nothing more then shake his head and weakly mouth the words “Impossible”over and over again COACH Uber's straight buggin out! Get it together, duke. Still in disbelief, Uber drags his depressed remains to his corner where a tag brings Big Frank back into the contest. Quite unlike his little sibling, Big Frank wastes little time in feeling sorry for himself, and makes moves to finish the task that Uber failed to complete. Taking Alix by her chocolate colored hair, The Man of Tomorrow drags her to her feet. She mounts and admirable rebellion against his clutches, but he easily snuffs out her fire with a clubbing forearm to back. With the energetic fighter temporally subdued , Frank foists her high into the sky in a press slam position. He twirls around, showcasing his prey to the furious audience, increasing their rage with each one of his contemptuous smirks. Finally he lets her go free, unceremoniously dumping her from his grasp. The drop from the peak of the move to the ring floor is a significant one, and leaves her short of breath and in a great deal of agony. For his part, Big Frank turns to the referee and sadistically informs him that he'll be a first hand witness to the first ever in ring death in OAOAST history. Crass exaggeration aside, Frank continues making her life a living hell by pumping stomps into her sobbing face. Concerned for Alix's safety, Robinson pleads with Big Frank to show even a miniscule sign of spotsmanship. But BFB has no capacity for mercy and proceeds to further torture Alix with these stomps. Finally he completes his assault, and lies across her heaving chest for a pinfall. ONE TWO Alix kicks out, infuriating Big Frank, but popping the audience who thought that this contest was all but over. He decides to make her regret the day she ever escaped his pin attempt, and ensnares her into a sleeper hold. COLE Right now Alix is down on the mat with a multi time NCAA wrestling champion, and a former amateur wrestling world champion. That is not a place you really want to be. Alix has got to get to Krista, and far away from Big Frank! The affects of the sleeper are immediate; a painful constricting of her breathing. This is more then a mere rest hold for Alix. Rather it is an onerous battle to remain conscious. Big Frank does her effort to stay awake no favors, violently cranking on her neck, torquing it as roughly as his strength will allow, putting a look of evident discomfort on her normally cute face. The supportive crowd promptly takes up the task of cheering on the babyface, singing her name in unison. “ALIX! ALIX! ALIX!” they shout, while the camera focuses on an apron based Krista yelling words of encouragement. Gaining strength from their kindness, Miss Spezia bucks and roars against the strongman's epic restraints. BFB's response is to simply tighten his grasp, and let her drift into a comfortable slumber. But this doesn't manage to stop our adorable heroine from continuing to war against his move. Eventually her frantic movement is able to weaken his clutches just enough that she's able to bring herself to her feet. Bruiser follows her upright, wrought with panic that his move is dangerously close to evaporating. His worry turns out to be well founded, as Miss Spezia launches a calvary of elbows into his ribcage that shred at his clutches. The eighth strike shatters the hold altogether, but Alix is far from free from psychotic strongman, and he drives this point home by hooking her into a front facelock. Rather then bother to try and bleed a submission attempt out of her, Frank decides that he'll simply break her neck with an Implant DDT. Thus he lifts her into the air, ready to scramble her brains with one deadly move. But Alix turns the tables on him, taking a precarious hold of his neck, then shooting her body backwards and driving him into the mat with a modified DDT! “YEAAAAA!” But the crowd's era of good feelings is morbidly short lived, as they watch Frank immediately rise to his feet like a demon emerging from the simmering flames of hell. His arms quickly coil around her waist, snapping her slender frame into pieces as if they were twin boa constrictors. Once the air is totally dragged out of her lungs his anacondas fling her overhead, imprinting her into the canvas with a belly to belly suplex. He heralds his triumph by kissing his 25” bicep as he confidently strolls towards her battered body. Upon reaching her, BFB dives sideways and drives the tip of his elbow into her face with pinpoint accuracy. A pinfall attempt follows shortly thereafter. ONE TWO Somehow Alix summons enough fighting spirit to lift her shoulder into the air, driving the Rhode Island natives wild with surprised glee. Heard loud and clear over the burning heat of the crowd is Big Frank Bruiser proclaiming that Robinson is a “Fucking pencil dick faggot who's too god damn stupid to count to three!” COACH You'd think after Robinson's enormous screwup at Mainframe Monday that he'd be trying to get himself back in the good graces of the Bruisers. I can't believe they even let this moron officiate anymore tag title matches. Tired of dealing with an opponent who's obviously not weakened enough to be pinned, Frank allows Uber the chance to deliver more abuse to their nearly crippled enemy. COLE You have to ask yourself how much more of this punishment Alix can take? She's much tougher then she looks but she's in the ring with two of the nastiest men in all of pro wrestling, and can't last much longer. Alix winces in stringent pain, as the redneck her bulldozes into a neutral corner with lightning quick kicks to the stomach. Ally Cat is pressed against the turnbuckles, where she desperately tries to regain her rapidly depleting breath. But Uber keeps his attack steady like a metronome, and launches her towards the opposite corner with an irish whip. Alix smacks against the pads, then staggers towards the center of the ring, the salty combination of sweat and tears in her brown eyes making it impossible to see more then a few inches in front of her face. So it comes as a tremendous surprise when The Pyscho Gremlin upends her with a back body drop. The physical shock of the move is even worse then the mental version, and she rests on the mat spasming in pain. Uber is able to still her body long enough to attempt another pin. ONE TWO But Ally kicks out, upsetting the few audience members who don't wish to watch her take any more of the brutal beatings. Uber, on the other hand, is thrilled to inflict more damage upon her body, and acts on these desires by scrapping her off the mat, then driving her back down with a bodyslam. Another cover follows the basic hold. ONE TWO Alix delays defeat just a little bit longer by kicking out. Unfortunately there is no rest for her weary bones, and Uber grabs hold of her bright white tube top and hauls her to her feet. He lathers her with an ensemble of forearms, each beating her ample chest like a drum, causing Alix to sing sorrowful blues. Uber then whips the champion to the corner, and trails her path with a clothesline. Right as the immense pain of the attack settles on her body, her assailant commences ripping into her badly bruised midsection with stomps. A female fan in the front row actually has the unbelievable audacity to heckle Bruiser for his treatment of Alix. Not about to let such discourtesy go unpunished, Uber hurls a wad of spits towards the young lady! COACH Uber doesn't go down to the crack house and tell that chick how to suck dick, so she shouldn't come down to the arena and tell him how to wrestle. While the moralistic fans decry his savage display, Uber is already executing his next move, a standard brainbuster. However Alix prevents her brain from being busted by latching onto the ring ropes as if her approaching middle age life depended on it. Despite his unrivaled strength, Bruiser can't manage to overpower the rope aided resistance of his foe. The frustration of the failure overwhelms Uber, and twists his face into a dark grimace as he allows Alix to go free. He then attempts to separate her head from her body with a lariat. Yet, Alix barely manages to dodge the beheading, rolling bellow the deadly weapon and turning Uber into even more of an irate madman. He tries to bust the Los Angeles native wide open with a fearsome running forearm smash. But Alix evades the strike with a swift kick to his gut. She snags a doubled over Uber into a front facelock, then spikes his cranium into the mat with a textbook DDT, drawing a huge ovation from the fans! Refusing to accept defeat at the hands of his much smaller foe, Uber makes the fatal error of standing right up, and eats a second DDT for his gaffe. He doesn't quite his learn lesson and makes a less then triumphant return to his vertical base. This time his headstrong blunder earns him Alix's version of the tornado DDT the Sucker Free DDT! The rabid fans heartily applaud for the DDT triplets, as the world seems to wave and swim before Uber's blurred vision. “LET'S GO ALIX! LET'S GO ALIX!” Frank is much less encouraging to his brother then the crowd is to Alix, demanding that he either get up and fight or “puss out” and tag him. His head a jumbled mess, Uber choses option B, and slogs his way towards his waiting partner. No one in the arena seems to be paying any attention to the Bruiser's situation, as they are much to focused on mobilizing Alix to her corner. Sweat pouring down her face, and turning her hair into something resembling a damp mop, Ally begins the perilous journey to her corner. She looks on the verge of passing out, and each step she takes towards Krista seems like it might be her last. For her part, Krista promises Alix the world if she can just find it within her to somehow make the tag with her. Krista's prayers don't go unanswered, and Alix finally reaches her trembling hand, causing the sold out crowd to erupt with joy. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” chant the fans, not detecting that Uber has made the tag to The Man of Tomorrow. The newest competitors blaze a trail towards one another. The monumental meeting of the tag team's de facto leaders ends with Frank being leg lariated off his feet. Krista doesn't bother to celebrate her minor victory, instead deriving her pleasure from blasting Uber with a dropkick. But just as soon as he goes down, does big brother come back up, ready to end this COD nuisance once and for all. But Krista has other ideas in mind, namely whipping Frank into the ropes. She lowers her head as BFB returns from the cables, but the big man leapfrogs the champ and lands behind her. He twirls around to knock her head into the third row with a discus punch, but Krissy counters the strike by stunning him with an inverted atomic drop! The Man of Tomorrow clutches his (allegedly) 10” python, and screams in white hot pain, as the crowd hoots and hollers over his misery. Their soon given even more to cheer about as Krista winds up and annihilates what's left of his blood soaked nose with a superkick! COACH She calls that sequence Krista's Great California Adventure. But ain't nothing great about having to wear that Rip Hamilton mask for the rest of ya days because a fitness instructor kicked ya nose off ya face. Uber retries his poor luck with Miss California, attempting to sneak attack her with a clubbing forearm. But thanks to a cry of “look out” from a little girl in the first row, Krista is able to block Bruiser's blow with an elbow strike. Uber stumbles backwards, instinctively nursing the fresh cut above his eye. This leaves him prey to any manner of viscous assaults, and Krisy capitalizes on this fact, by leaping into is back, and putting her knees to her chest to pulverize him with a lung blower! This time Uber's howls aren't ones of triumph, but rather of raw agony. Hearing his siblings cries of distress, Frank rises to his feet and crazily directs a Soonerline towards Miss California's lovely face. What the move packs in rage, it lacks in technique, form and most importantly speed, and Krista is easily able to duck bellow it and move herself behind Frank. The momentum of his miss clumsily carries him forward, but he's held into place by Krista's hands being wrapped around his bloodied face. His entire body is violently dragged downward by the force of Krista's ode to Redd Fox the Elizabeth, I'm coming to join ya, honey! It's the big one!” (Reverse X-Factor). The fans squawk with excitement, getting louder when Krista hooks the leg for a pinfall. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THREE! No, no, no, no! At the last possible minute, Uber breaks up the count, infuriating the pro-COD fanbase. But their dour mood begins to improve when Krista and a recovered Alix begin seizing on The Pyscho Gremlin with brutal stomps. He manages to rise to his feet past their torrent of kicks, but this only puts him in a far worse situation as the girls launch him into the corner. He smacks against the posts with a booming thud, too worn down by the night's festivities to effort any sort of escape. Taking advantage of Uber's weakness, Alix charges in with a lariat. Needless to say a lariat from a bulimic woman doesn't exactly bring much hurt to Uber's world. But the pain quickly begins to mount when Krista follows Alix by slashing her bare knee into Bruiser's face! As the cut on Uber's head begins to ooze gobs of blood, Ally lies on the mat, and Krista takes hold of her shapely legs. The blond bombshell dives backwards, lifting Alix into the air, and shooting her towards their rival. Uber tries to evade his approaching attacker. But the blood in his eyes causes him to misjudge her movement, and the speeding bullet rips into his stomach with a shoulder block! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” Big Frank, head lowered like a rampaging bull, rushes towards Krista. However the blond bombshell effortlessly avoids his approach by leapfrogging over him. Undettered by the avoidance, Big Frank continues his charge, fixing his murderous intent upon Alix. This becomes a severe error in judgment, as Alix counters the attack by striding forward, wrapping her arms around his waist, flipping into the air, and liquidizing his skull with the Burning Sensation When You Urinate! (Sunset flip piledriver) While the audience reacts with pleasure to the showy attack, Alix pins bone weary Frank. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber descends upon the pinfall with a body splash! Rather then be smushed between the muscle bound brutes, Ally quickly slides her body out of the way, leaving Uber to collide with his partner. Unlike his brother, who emits horrible groans of pain, Uber is seemingly unhurt by his humiliating folly. He stands up to get a measure of revenge on the plucky lasses, but the only thing that he receives for his troubles is a double dropkick that sends him out the ring! COLE These fans are on the edge of their seats, and the action is just going to continue later on tonight in the Lethal Rumble and with the second ever Survive Or Surrender Match, but right now these two teams are battling over the most prized possession in all of tag team wrestling! With Bruiser incapacitated for the time being, Krista turns to pin Frank and bring this contest to a close. But The Man of Tomorrow has risen to his feet, and a look of solid hatred burns through his crimson mask. Easily able to match BFB's rage, Krista skids along the canvas, lunging for him with a Yakuza Kick. But, in one sickeningly smooth motion, Big Frank sidesteps her attacking leg, snakes his hands around her waist, then shoots her backwards with a release German Suplex! The second she hits the ground, Big Frank stands up, ready to turn his powerful attacks upon her bubbly partner. But Alix is several steps ahead of him, and uses her considerable speed to rock him with an enziguri! Frank plummets to the canvas and immediately rolls himself to the outside to attend to his bloodied and beaten head. Not wishing to give her enemy anytime to recover his strength, Ally stalks him outside where she vigorously pumps his face into apron. Back in the ring, Krista unsteadily rises to her feet, not at all sure of where her fellow competitors went. She becomes aware of Uber Bruiser's location in a most painful manner, as The Pyscho Gremlin stuns her with a Crippler Crossface! The audience promptly and loudly begs her to fight free of the deadly submission. And fight out she does, desperately scrambling her way towards the salvation of the ring ropes. Yet, Uber isn't willing to allow her the freedom she seeks, and rains forearms into her face right as she reaches the cables. But his efforts to withold her in his grasp become moot, as Alix knocks him off her gal pal with a majestic 619! Surprisingly the crowd chooses to the boo after the move, rather then let loose with the expected cheer of approval. Their ill feelings no longer come as much of a shock as the camera pans out to show Big Frank Bruiser in the ring, body stained crimson, and eyes staring daggers at Ally. Despite the audience screaming a plethora of warnings, Alix endures a mighty shock when her opponent takes her off her feet with a side Russian leg sweep! He turns Krista, who's still seeking to recover from the crossface, and grabs her left leg, seeking out a half crab. But Krista isn't nearly as helpless as Frank would've liked, and her right leg kicks the big man into the cables. The ropes push him back into a small package from Krista, that has the crowd blaring with frantic elation! CROWD ONE CROWD TWO CROWD THRE... Frank kicks out, generating a wealth of heat from the Providence natives. Krista shares in their annoyance, but doesn't let her negative emotions prevent her from dealing with an opponent she knows is near defeat. She bounds off the ropes, delicately timing her movement so that she reaches The Man of Tomorrow right as he stands up. Her carefully planned move is executed perfectly and she SPEARS the off balance superstar to the mat the moment he rises, thrusting the fans into a frenzy! A pin follows the impressive move. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO Uber, who had been outside the squared circle, reaches into the ring to pull Krista off his brother just as Robinson was about to make the pivotal three count! “BOOOOO!” Ally greatly pleases the enraged spectators by bouncing off the ropes and delivering a baseball slide into Uber's face. The strike pushes Uber back several feet, and expands the gaping wound on his forehead, but it fails to bowl him over. Thus the girls are required to come up with a technique that will exterminate the fierce canine permanently. After a moment's discussion, Alix elevates herself onto Krista shoulders. Taking great care not to drop Ally from her risky perch, Krista glides towards the edge of the ring. Once Kris is in position, Alix arches backwards, in a movement resembling a reverse hurricana. Krista keeps hold of Alix's furry boots, then uses them to lever her back over, and catapult her onto prostrate Uber with a modified splash to the outside! Krista, the referee, the announcers, and everyone in attendance watch with enchanted awe as the high risk move yields a high reward, when Alix's attacking body knocks Uber out of this contest, and possibly out of this industry! “C-O-D! C-O-D! C-O-D!” COLE Wow! That's their little used double team finisher called the Lesbequick! With fate of The Bruiser family legacy in his hands alone, Frank darts towards Krista, only to be met with a kick to the stomach. She hooks him into a lazy front facelock, thinking she can easily end his night with a simple DDT. As always, pride comes before the fall, and Krista pays for her over confidence when Frank spins out of her weak hold, and drags her to the mat with an Anklelock! COLE I don't think we've ever seen Frank use this move before! That turns out to be for good reason, because his unfamiliarity with the move may cost him the match! Krista, with unerring ease, turns over onto her back, then rockets her upper body upright and pulls Frank down into a small package! CROWD ONE! CROWD TWO! CROWD THREE! But Frank pulls out of the pinning situation, but with a hand still on Krista's foot, he's able to do so while moving back into the Anklelock! The hold is far tighter then before, and Krista can feel the tendons and bones in her foot began to snap away as the pressure of the move increases by the second. Her hands reach out for the ropes, but Big Frank drags her back towards the center of ring, demanding that she tap out and relinquish her belt to him. Spit pours out of his vulgarity spewing mouth, and dried blood cakes off his screaming face as he wrenches her limb, causing her to shriek in terror. “KRISTA! KRISTA! KRISTA!” bleat the audience. Krista isn't willing to wave good-bye to championship, but but by the same token she's no longer able to stomach the building pain. Thus she's pressured into putting forth one last make or break effort to outwit the dreadful animal. Once again she manages to turn onto her back, but not without causing great discomfort to her ankle. She struggles past the misery and sits up to overtake Frank in another rollup. As she says a prayer to gods above that this pinfall will be the final one of the match, Charles Robinson makes the crucial count. CROWD ONE CROWD TWO COACH Kick out, Frank! CROWD THREE!!!!!!! There is no last minute kickout, no 2.9999999 escapes. This match is finally over, and the arena shakes with the spectators' cheers as a result. Frank can't believe that this isn't some sort of terrible nightmare and pleads with Robinson to restart match and give him a second chance. Charles, who's had his fairshare of issues with the Bruisers as of late, simply screams, “DON'T START NO SHIT, IT WON'T BE NO SHIT!” then runs away. BUFFER THE WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS......CHICKS OVER DICKS! Alix isn't very concerned with the fact that Krista's ankle nearly got broke, and leaps into her arms in celebration. She orders Krista to carry her towards the back, a request Krista is much too tired to argue over. While they depart, The Bruisers sit in somber silence, wondering how they failed to reclaim their title belts. COLE The Bruisers coming up short tonight, but they still have a chance to get back in title contention by winning the Anderson Cup. The road isn't easy for them, though, as they will face Black T in the second round in what should be a fantastic match up! FADE OUT

We cut to the backstage area and a shaky frame as the camera follows Josh Matthews jogging towards a group of men chatting. JOSH PK! Can I talk to you for a minute? The other road agents tell Knight they will catch up with him later and leave, leaving Josh and Knight. JOSH I just wanted to get your thoughts about tonight's Survive or Surrender match. You and Zack Malibu never really had a match together, but you and Axel did put a $100,000 bounty on his head for the Lethal Rumble match last year and then cost him the match. Will you be rooting for Bruce Blank tonight? Knight ponders the answer for a minute. KNIGHT Do I want Zack to lose this match. You know, my opinion of Zack Malibu hasn't changed much in the year since I laid him out after I won the title. I still think that, though he's a hell of a wrestler, he has no problem stepping on people that get in his way and has one of the biggest egos that I have ever come across in this buisness. When he brought Bruce and those guys in last year only to have them turn on him.....I gotta admit, that made me smile a bit to see Zack get his for once. On the other hand, I can't really agree with some of the things that Bruce has done over the last few months. I may not like Zack all that much, but from the dealings I've had with the SWF, I don't really hold anyone that comes from there in very high regard either. JOSH So.....who would you like to win tonight? KNIGHT Honestly......I don't care if they send each other to the hospital for a month after this match. Is that all? Josh nods and Knight takes his leave as we go back to ringside. COLE So much emotion going into the Survive Or Surrender Match! Peter Knight just came out and said that he doesn't give a damn who wins tonight. COACH Can't say I'm surprised with his answer, Mikey. We all know what happened at LAST year's Anglepalooza. Some things never change. COLE I know, Coach. Still, I was hoping that Knight would pick either Zack or Bruce to root for, preferably Zack. But nothing we can do about that now. All we can do is wait, and keep on waiting until the Survive Or Surrender Match between Bruce Blank and Zack Malibu finally happens later tonight! Cut to A nice ass~! In tights~! And it's a girl too~! It's Princess Stacey, doing some last minute stretching in the backstage area. COACH Look Cole! LOOK! TIGHTS! STACEY IN TIGHTS! COLE I know, Coach. I know. Princess Stacey warming up for her match against Jade Rodez coming up in just a few moments. COACH IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! The crowd boos. Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez shows up on screen. Princess Stacey spots her and turns around. MS. LINDSAY GONZALEZ So, you're ready to do this? PRINCESS STACEY Ummm...I think so. *Gulp* LINDSAY *Chuckles* Don't worry, girl. You'll do fine. You know I've got your back. Now come on! Let's teach that PUTA a lesson! STACEY Okay. Princess Stacey makes sure her tiara is in place, and then takes a deep breath. Lindsay puts her right arm over Stacey's shoulders as the two of them walk out of the shot. The crowd boos. The AngleTron lights up with the words PRINCESS STACEY in pink cursive font as "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado starts playing. Which can only mean one thing. And if you don't know what that is after that opening line, you might as well stop reading now because you're an idiot. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COACH Woo-hoo! COLE Well, it looks like Stacey actually going to go through with this. Not that she has much choice with a contract signed and sealed, but still. COACH Oh, I wish we had a contract signed and sealed together. COLE Try to control yourself would you? The last thing you need is another restraining order filed against you. The entrance doors slide open, and Princess Stacey comes out with a look of disgust on her face. With her left hand on her left hip and a sneer on her face, Stacey points to the tiara on the top of her head, and then walks to the ring, jawing with the fans along the way. She's not alone though, as The Lightning Crew's other female member, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, follows Stacey out. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following women's match is scheduled for one fall! On the way to the ring, being accompanied by Ms. LINDSAY GONZALEZ! From Tampa, Florida... she represents THE LIGHTNING CREW... PPRRRRIIIIIIINNCCEEEEEEESSSSSS... SSSSSTTAAAAAAAAAACCCEEEEEEEYYYYYYY!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Princess Stacey climbs the ring steps, wipes her shoes on the ring apron, and then enters the ring under the second rope. Stacey stretches her arms out and walks around the ring, an arrogant smirk on her gorgeous face. Which isn't enough to prevent the boos, Lindsay about the only one in the arena applauding The Princess in the entire state of Rhode Island right about now. To her credit, Stacey has come dressed to compete, actually wearing a blue sports bra and customized black short tights with PRINCESS written on the rear in pink cursive font, with a small diamond used to dot the I. Not bad for a non-wrestler, huh? COACH Alright, Stacey looks ready! COLE I wouldn't go that far. Stacey... COACH That's Princess Stacey to you! I don't have to use the prefix because we're close friends, you however do. COLE Okay, Princess Stacey, has never wrestled in her lifetime. That we know of. I heard some rumours from Colombian Heat about something she got up to in her college days, but at the risk of a lawsuit I'll steer clear of them. On a completely unrelated note, I happened to bring some Jello out here with me. Just incase, you know. COACH As Stacey goes through some very half-hearted looking warm-ups in the centre of the ring, Daft Punk's "One More Time" starts up. To a much warmer reception than her opponent's music, as the pigtailed Jade Rodez storms out, already pointing fingers and making threats to The Princess as she stomps down the aisle! BUFFER And, her opponent! From Grand Rapids, Michigan... JJAAAAAAADDEEEE RRRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Jade doesn't take so much as a backwards step, rolling into the ring and sending Princess Stacey ducking for cover. Referee Charles Robinson is forced to step in and hold Jade at bay, as Lindsay rushes around ringside, pretending to hold back Princess Stacey, who looks on wide-eyed. COLE Well, unlike Princess Stacey, Jade Rodez at least has some professional wrestling experience. She's got a couple of matches under her belt, but progressed into a managerial role once the Women's Division mysteriously disappeared. COACH Yeah, did we ever find them girls? COLE Missing Presumed Dead. COACH Oh. To go with the purple and black boxing shorts, Jade also has some mad boxing skills, shadow-boxing as she looks down at Princess Stacey. Suddenly The Princess doesn't look quite so confident with life, Lindsay trying to give her a pep-talk, but struggling to be heard over the chants of "JADE!", "JADE!", "JADE!". COLE Well folks, first time we've had women's action on Pay Per View in a long time. Don't expect this to be a catch-as-catch-can classic. This going to be more of a catfight than a wrestling match, but it should be entertaining nonetheless. Jade Rodez, looking to give Princess Stacey a little of what she's got coming after her turning of coat and dumping of Colombian Heat to join The Lightning Crew. COACH What the hell does 'catch-as-catch-can' mean anyway? COLE *groans* Cautious to say the least, Princess Stacey climbs the steps into the ring, Lindsay yelling at the referee to keep the firey Rodez sibling back. Once Stacey is finally in the ring, the referee then calls for the bell... *DINGDINGDING!* ...and as soon as Jade moves in, Princess Stacey moves out, scrambling out of the ring before any physical contact can be made! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Oh come on! COACH Hey, don't rush her! You wouldn't rush Picasso in mid-painting, you wouldn't rush Beethoven in the middle of one of his pieces, why rush Princess Stacey? As Lindsay and The Princess go into a conference on the floor, Jade sits back and waits, arms folded. Eventually the girls high-five and Princess Stacey is ready to go. Stacey even goes so far as do dare Jade on as she climbs back into the ring, putting up an unconvincing fighting stance. In moves Jade, her fighting stance a little more threatening. And seeing the two balled up fists ready to pound the good looks out of her, Stacey freaks out again and scrambles back out of the ring! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE We could be here all day at this rate. COACH What's wrong with that? The sofa's comfortable enough, we've got Mountain Dew on tap and one thing's for sure, the view is EXCELLENT! COLE You do know that Jade's brother Leon is watching on PPV tonight, right? COACH I wasn't talking about her, idiot. Another team conference starts up between Stacey and Lindsay, who seems to be guiding The Princess point by point through what she should do. Unfortunately, her plan doesn't reason for the chance of Jade Rodez exiting the ring on the two Lightning Crew ladies' blindsides, grabbing them both by the hair... *CLUNK!* ...AND THROWING THEM TOGETHER WITH A DOUBLE NOGGIN' KNOCKER!!! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH HEY! No fair! As both girls go down, Jade finally has her hands on Princess Stacey and throws her back into the ring. Despite being clearly groggy already, begging off is Stacey's first instinct. Of course, it won't work as Jade climbs to the apron and heads after The Princess. But as Stacey fears for her life and clings onto referee Robinson, Lindsay does some clinging of her own, grabbing Jade's ankle before she can get fully into the ring! Jade tries to kick Ms. Lindsay off, but can't do so, before Stacey runs over and boots Jade in the head! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Well, so far Lindsay has been as involved in this match as Stacey is. COACH And she's got a legally binding manager's license, so she's got every right to be out here tonight. COLE If she keeps this up, she might not last long. If Robinson catches her, no manager's license is going to stop him from throwing her BUTT out of here. COACH He'd better not do. Her BUTT is the only thing keeping me sane with you jabbering on next to me! Princess Stacey almost looks stunned that she's even on the attack. She boots Jade in the head again, but after that she looks lost, asking Lindsay for advice on what to do next. Lindsay tells her to make the cover and she does just that... 1... ...getting hardly any body-to-body on the shoulders and allowing an easy kickout. COLE I'm not sure how much work Princess Stacey has done in preparation for this match. Her fundamentals look like they need some work. COACH They look fine from where I'm sitting. Beginning to pull herself up, a scowl has formed on Jade's face. She came in POed and now she's even angrier. Again Princess Stacey seems to panic, but Lindsay encourages her to stay on the offence. So Stacey measures Jade, making a big deal out of dropping the big elbow... ...and missing, hopelessly! COLE Oh dear. The Providence crowd laugh it up at Stacey's expense, as she comes back up holding her right arm. Jade is waiting on her and rears back, landing a big elbow strike that knocks The Princess back off of her feet! Going back into retreat, Princess Stacey tries to crawl on her hands and knees to get away. Jade drags her back up though, rearing back and popping 'poor' Stacey with another elbow to the jaw! COACH Come on, show some mercy! She's not a wrestler! COLE Then she's kinda in the wrong business. It's looking bad for Stacey now, which prompts Lindsay to climb to the apron, complaining about the use of the elbow. That distraction seems to work, as Jade turns her attention to Lindsay. Allowing Princess Stacey a window back into the match, sneaking up behind Jade and grabbing hold of her by the pigtails, dragging her to the canvas hard! Off the apron jumps Lindsay, the plan taken care of, leaving Princess Stacey to pick up the offence with some blatant choking! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOU..." Princess Stacey knows just about enough to break before five, still earning herself a warning from Robinson. "GOLD DIG - GER!" "GOLD DIG - GER!" "GOLD DIG - GER!" "GOLD DIG - GER!" Ignoring the chants, the suddenly confident Princess drags Jade back up by the hair. And with the pigtails in hand, she throws Jade forward, turning her inside out with the ever popular Hairmare! Stacey holds out her arms and laughs maniacally as she sees Jade writhing on the canvas, nursing her scalp. COACH The Princess is taking over now. Maybe little Jade bit off a little more than she could chew, daring to challenge The Princess. COLE Maybe she didn't think she'd be getting into a Handicap Match. COACH What are you talking about!? COLE Oh, please. With the hair again, Stacey sets Jade up once more, performing the Hairmare for a second time. Jade ends up hurt by the ropes as Stacey pulls the left-over strands of hair from between her fingers. Another warning is coming from Robinson. And Lindsay Gonzalez takes complete advantage, as she grabs Jade's head and begins to choke her across the bottom ring rope!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Come on Coach, what about that!? Do you not see that!? COACH I'm looking at Princess Stacey and so should you be! COLE You're too much, really. Lindsay breaks the choke just before she can be caught by the referee. Leaving Princess Stacey to dot the Is and cross the Ts on the situation with a cover... 1... 2... No! With Jade still down, Stacey quickly leaps up and hits a Kneedrop! The crowd boo react like she just Pedigreed someone. COACH Oh yes! Perfect execution! Princess Stacey pulls Jade up now and Lindsay tells her to 'go for it'. Nodding in agreement, Stacey reaches down, managing to muscle Jade up and down with a Bodyslam!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!" COACH YES! COLE Scoop and a slam from Princess Stacey. COACH Oh boy, this is great! The Princess is making you and everyone moron in this arena eat their words right about now, she's out-wrestling Jade Rodez. COLE I wouldn't go that far. COACH I would! Go for the IntenseZone Elbow next Stacey!! Princess Stacey sneers out at the crowd now and laps it up. After the mocking she's recieved so far, she's going to soak up every moment of this dominance. Unfortunately though, she gets a little too arrogant. With Stacey's back turned, Jade begins to pull herself back up on the ropes. Lindsay sees another opening and jumps to the apron to try and interfere. She pays for it though, as Jade catches her by the hair and pulls her up on the apron, firing off an elbow strike that knocks Lindsay back to the arena floor BUTT first!! "YYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE There goes the first line of defence! COACH Turn around Stacey! Please turn around! Hearing the cheers of the Rhode Island natives, Princess Stacey knows that something must be up. As she turns around, she finds herself confronted with Jade Rodez, fists clenched and ready to kick some royal ass! Princess Stacey's lip quivers as she tries to beg off. But it's not going to work, as Jade grabs her around the neck and drives her into the corner, Stacey trying to claw her away, to no avail... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...as Jade lands a knifedge chop! Princess Stacey's eyes bug out and she screams in pain, as Jade pins her back again... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...and lands a second knifedge to the chest! Stacey obviously isn't used to the stinging effects of getting chopped in the chest and doesn't cope with it well, jumping around in the corner, flapping her hands like a maniac as she complains about the pain! COACH Stop it! Why, of all the things in the world you could to to a young woman like Stacey, would you do that!? COLE Probably for the enjoyment of the Grade A hissy fit she's throwing now. The Princess looks close to tears right now, a bit of a pathetic sight. One which every fan in the arena is enjoying right now. Hey, let's face it, she had it coming. As Stacey still tries to stop the stinging, actually trying to fan her own chest in a lame attempt to quell the pain. Jade drags her out of the corner with an Irish whip, Princess Stacey going coast to coast into the opposite turnbuckles. As Stacey lays hurt in the corner, Rodez then runs in and lands two knees in the already hurting chest! COLE Double Kneeeees! The end is in sight! Curled up against the bottom turnbuckle, Stacey looks like a stroppy child who doesn't want to play anymore. A stroppy shild with a possible bust sternum. Her defence doesn't work, about to be taken to the naughty step by Jade Rodez as she's pulled up by the hair. There's only one thing left for Princess Stacey. The eyes. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Ugh, she clawed her right in the eyes! Those fingernails might have blinded Jade right there! For a moment Princess Stacey is too hurt to follow up. But as the stinging begins to subside a little in her chest, Stacey finally realises she's in a fight. And if she's going to survive, she's going to have to fight back. Stacey goes to the eyes once more with another cruel rake of the face, now talking trash to the youngest Rodez sibling. Letting out an evil laugh, Stacey then pulls back... *SLAP!* ...and slaps Jade right across the cheek! Biiig mistake. "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE Uh-oh. COACH Uh-oh? What do you mean uh-o... uh-oh! Uh-oh! RUN STACEY! The slap doesn't put Jade down. It doesn't even put her on the backfoot. It hurts, don't get that wrong. But it also pisses Jade the hell off!! Princess Stacey's sneer quickly disappears as she sees Jade is still standing and now glaring a hole right through her, panicking and looking for some help from Lindsay Gonzalez. Of course, Lindsay is still down though. So Stacey starts to plead for her li... ...WHAM! Elbow strike ends the pleading! Another elbow! Another! Another! *SLAP!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" ...and a reciept for the slap, Jade paintbrushing the stunned Stacey right across the face! As Stacey falls back into the ropes, Jade grabs the arm and sends her across the ring with an irish whip. As The Princess comes back, Jade ducks her head and sends her overhead with a hair-raising BAAAAACKbody Drop!! The force of which dislodges Princess Stacey's tiara, which ends up a couple of feet away. Symbolically, Jade walks over and STOMPS ON THE TIARA, BENDING IT IN THE MIDDLE!! COACH (howling) OH NOO! COLE I think The Princess has been dethroned! COACH How dare that fat peasant crush The Princess' crown with her giant manly feet!? How dare she! How dare she!? COLE Calm down Coach! She can probably find the brand of Christmas crackers she found it in cheap now it's January! COACH If Stacey knew what just happened, no doubt she'd be furious. It's doubtful she knows anything about much at all right now as she is dazed from the backdrop. As she slowly climbs back to her feet, Stacey does notice something is up though. She glances up, feeling the lack of a tiara, reaching up and checking her head. Nothing. No time to worry about that though. *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE GAMENGIRI!! STACEY JUST GOT KNOCKED OUT!! COACH No! The cover! 1... 2... 3!!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* COLE Paybacks are a bitch! COACH Nooo-oh-ho-hoooo! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your winner of the match... JJJAAAAAAAAADDEEEE... RRRROOOOOOODDEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Just now sitting up on the outside, Lindsay looks into the ring and is horrified, as Jade Rodez stands over The Princess, victorious. And, to boot, THE TIARA HAS BEEN BROKEN~! I can't put over how serious that is, people, I really can't. Jade looks down at The Princess with a vengeful smile, pointing down at the motionless Stacey and telling her 'that was for Colombian Heat', before working the crowd behind her. COLE In the end, Princess Stacey was out of her depth. And she might need to dip into her boyfriend's wallet after this one. A new tiara and possibly some expensive dental work, Vitamin X better get the cheque book ready. COACH How can you be so heartless!? Poor Stacey got kicked in the face, she shouldn't have to be subjecting to this sort of abuse! This never should of happened! COLE But it did. COACH You're a cruel, cruel man Michael Cole. COLE Don't judge me! COACH ... COLE ...more coming up on AnglePalooza. Jade now leaves the ring and begins to tag hands all the way up the aisle. Meanwhile, Lindsay checks on Stacey, who is still seeing stars. Lindsay picks up the mangled tiara and quickly hides it behind her back as Stacey woozily sitting up, trying to hide the damage from The Princess who's emotional enough as it is right now, close to tears as she looks up the aisle and sees she's been beaten. FADE OUT EXCITING! EXHILIRATING! SOME OTHER WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "E"! IT'S THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE! February 1 - Halifax, Nova Scotia for HeldDOWN~! February 8 - Ottawa, Ontario for HeldDOWN~! February 15 - Albuquerque, NM for HeldDOWN~! February 22 - Baltimore, MD for HeldDOWN~! February 24 - Cleveland, OH for OAOAST Syndicated March 1 - Tokyo, Japan for HeldDOWN~! CATCH ALL THE EXCITMENT OF THE ONE AND ONLY ANGLESAULT THREAD LIVE!

We go backstage where OAOAST Tag Team Champions Alix Maria Spezia and Krista Isadora Duncan linger by a catering table, engaged in a heated argument over what they should do with the family of rats in their basement. One says to hire an exterminator, the other says the rats have the right to file an appeal with the UN to be recognized as a sovereign nation. Try to guess who's making which argument. Just try. Suddenly the camera switches to a shot of Colombian Heat, bouncing down the hall, and flowing like Dre in his NWA prime. Outfitted in a pair of Bathing Ape Jeans, and red camouflage Bathing Ape t-shirt with black combat boots, while wearing his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist, he parts the sea of stage hands and random wrestlers like a hip-hop Moses. COLOMBIAN HEAT (Rapping. Loudly. Incredibly loudly) Fuck what ya heard, this is what you're hearin, Colombian Heat up in ya television, tellin ya a vision with Nostradamus like precision. Got money on mah mind but no mind on da money, got time for the honeys, but no honeys for mah time. KRISTA (spotting Heat) Oh god! Don't come over here, don't come over here, don't come over here. Please god, I'll do anything you want if you keep him from coming over here, I'll go to church, I'll give money to charity, I'll save orphans from burning buildings, I'll stop using my dead uncle's handicap parking sticker from 1988 to get preferred parking, I'll even be nice to Terry Taylor! Well, maybe I won't do that last part. A devious smile creeps onto Alix's lips as she watches Krista try to gain the favor of a god she doesn't actually believe in. ALIX Hey, Cypress Hill, where ya goin', dude? Come and chat with us, babe! KRISTA I hate you, Alix. I hope nothing but terrible things happen to you for the rest of your life. I hope all the millions of bad things that were reserved for other people, get shifted to you and you alone, that is how much I hate you right now. ALIX Oh, hush, you know you love me. Our new age Young Joc comes to an abrupt halt when he spots Chicks Over Dicks. His eyes bug out of his head and he does a complete double take at the sight of the Tag Team Champions. Krista recognizes this look and knows it means nothing good. COLOMBIAN HEAT God dayum, there some fine things goin' on up in hurr! Why don'tcha turn around and let a ballla see whatcha workin' wit'? Ya'll bitches lookin' so fine playas in the next room'll nut! KRISTA (muttering to herself) Of all the days to forget the can of mase. HEAT Mamis be lookin good enough to eat, and Colombian Heat's always bout dat sexual appetite! Ask Beavis I get nothing BUTT-Head! KRISTA So, who is this new character that God, who obviously wishes me a lifetime of misery, has introduced to further ruin my already horrible and unbearable life? ALIX Colombian Heat, Krissy! He used to be in The Lightning Crew. HEAT Lightning Crew be way in the past, babygirl. Here today, I’m my own thug. I ain't need no crew 'cause I am a one man fuckin' monster. I ain't need to join up with nobody no more. I ain't need nobody’s help on shit. Man, I am the OAOAST, breathing, shitting, eating, sleeping OAOAST. And I can’t be fucked with right now. I’ma forced to be reckoned with. Anybody dat don’t like it, they can drop a promo 'bout it and I will dismantle 'em piece by piece lyrically and physically. You smell me? KRISTA (muttering to herself) I smell something alright..... ALIX Oh snapple! For real tho Fives Angels, I heard thru some peeps about your mad mental clout, so I ain't even tryna fuck wif you. It's all love, b. I gots nuthin' but bowed head and e-fed hitz for ya, big daddy, to tryna get some of that knowledge, widsom, and understandin of self you be rollin heavy wif. HEAT Word? ALIX Word and life. Life and word. Colombian Heat the substance that'll make your third eye cry-too potent, too high in intelligence quotient. KRISTA Jesus Christ, Alix, don't encourage him or he'll never leave. Good lord, only by the grace of god there go I. HEAT Yo, what thar mean? ALIX It means she's going to start drinking early. HEAT Hells yeah, mami! Sip on that Alize and get dis party right. I'm feelin ya sexy style, girl. And Alix, you feelin' the mental and physical clout that Heat be comin' hard with. But I got bustas like Tha Puerto Rican still tryin' to assassinate mah character. To that I say getcha mind right, Puerto, because you can't assassinate nothin' about Heat. I've always walked the walk and talked the talk. My shit is impeccable. I'm the boss round here. If me and Puerto were on a deserted island together, it'd be cool. I wouldn't have to tell him nothing. He would get the fish, cook the fish, get the firewood, start the fire, build me a hut and a stage and entertain me. Why? 'Cause I am the boss of that dude, and if he, Vitamin X, Popick, and the rest of 'em keep tryin' to roll on me, then they all gonna get they lives slowed. Ya'll go and ya'll tell him dat! KRISTA Wait, was that just a figure of speech or an honest to good invite to leave? Because if I could get out of this conversation without having to first commit some kind of bloody and horrific murder/suicide, that would be a miracle of turning water to wine proportions. No, Krista, no you can't just walk away that easily! Why? Because the cruiserweight sensation, partner of Heat, and one half of the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Spanish Fly walks onto the scene, making things a bit more interesting. SPANISH FLY What's up, Heat? Whatcha doing round here, man? We gotta go meet with those reps from HI-YAH for a quick photoshoot. What do you think is my good side, right or left? HEAT You ain't got no good side, dats why you wear a mask. A lightbulb-not a real one, that would be weird-pops above Krissy's head. She seems to think that she can insult her way out of this conversation. KRISTA Hey, what are you doing? You're not supposed to be here! You've got to take the magic ring to Mount Doom before Lord Sauron and his evil horde get their hands on it! Hurry along, my sweet hobbit, the fate of Middle Earth rests in your hands! Fly steps towards Krista in anger, despite probably having heard that joke a million times before. KRISTA Woah, don't come any closer dude, you're so tiny that if you stand between my legs people might think I have a penis! SPANISH FLY That's a nice shirt, lady. How much? Twenty five cents? KRISTA Try three hundred, Smurfette. You're four foot eleven and you've got a fat gut, I'd bet you'd be taller if you just laid on your back. If you don't like the shirt, I can always change it. But you're short, ugly and broke, there's no shirt change for that. ALIX Hold the Boost mobile cellphone, sister from another mister, or maybe from the same mister, which would make our couples therapy sessions a lil bit more interesting to say the least, I can't have you talking like that to my people! KRISTA Your people? ALIX Di-di-did I stutter? Alix Maria Spezia holdin it down for Latinonation and Lesbination. For real tho, we got nuthin' but love for you both. One love, one life, one Virgin Islands. West Los Angeles, where the grass is greener, the crips are meaner, the gangstas ride and the snitches die. One for the homies on the mind, and one for the homies on the grind (points to Fly and Heat). That's my word, my bond. Peace Blood. Peace God. KRISTA Why must every Thursday of my life, and one Sunday a month, be filled with such unendurable hell? FLY Hey, Heat, that's one hard lyric Alix just said. HEAT Word. Mad love for the blessings, mami. Ya'll stay fly and keep doing whatcha doin' in the OAOAST. And we gonna keep doin what we doin' in HI-YAH. And both of ya'll better be at mah victory party after I take that Lethal Rumble, because we gonna be up in da club beatin' that bitch loud! Ya heard? KRISTA Unfortunately. With that the two parties shake hands. Or exchange a dap, if you keep it in the hood as I have been known to do. Passing a final nod to Alix and Krista, Heat and Fly depart for their HI-YAH photoshoot, while pontificating on how Expressionist playwrights may have interpreted the representation of the psychoanalytical interior world in this chance meeting of champions. KRISTA (turning to a nearby stagehand) Is there some kind of gas leak in here? Cut to Sofa Central. Coach is speechless. COACH I think my brain just melted! COLE Colombian Heat and Alix sure are quite the characters, aren't they? COACH What were they saying? I've never heard anyone in the hood talk like that before! COLE That's because you've never BEEN to the 'hood', Coach! You lived in a middle class neighborhood growing up! COACH Yo, don't insult me dawg! I'm down with the homies! Word to your mother, G! COLE Stop it. Just--just stop it. COACH Okay. COLE Okay. So from that we go to our next match-up for the X-Division Title as Jamie O' Hara-- COACH Who PRL says is the 'white Colombian Heat'. COLE (ignoring Coach) --takes on the reigning Champion, Reject! This match was a late addition to Anglepalooza, made only just last Thursday on HeldDOWN~! when Reject and The Five Burroughs came out and insulted the city of Boston. J-OH surprisingly came out and made the challenge, and here we are today! COACH This should be a good one. Reject vs. loud-mouth O' Hara. This has X-Division classic written all over it! COLE Indeed it does, Coach. X-Division action is coming up next! Let's go to the ring! Fix Up, Look Sharp plays, the entrance doors slide open, and Jamie O'Hara walks to the ring, getting a tremendous ovation. COLE And the X-Title on the line at AnglePalooza, coming up next! Let's go to Michael Buffer! BUFFER The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the OAOAST X-Division Championship! Introducing first, the challenger! He hails from Birmingham, England, and weighs in at 170 pounds...here is "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! COLE And Jamie O'Hara made this challenge just this past Thursday on HeldDOWN, Coach! COACH A very unwise move, considering that he's also got to go through the Lethal Rumble match after getting beat here! O'Hara waits in the ring, as Renagade hits and Reject comes down the aisle, to the boos of the crowd. BUFFER His opponent, hailing from the Bronx, and weighing in at 235 pounds...he is the OAOAST X-Division Champion...RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREJECT!!!!! Reject steps into the ring, and poses on the buckles, drawing more boos. He then hands his belt to the referee, who calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* Reject and O'Hara circle the ring, and tie up. Both men jockey for position, then break. COLE Should be a tremendous, fast-paced matchup here! They tie up again, this time with Reject executing an armdrag! Reject celebrates his feat, as the crowd boos. O'Hara gets back to his feet, and ties up once again. Both men go around in circles with the tieup, with Reject able to back O'Hara into a corner. Reject slowly releases the hold...then slaps O'Hara across the face! COACH Oh, here we go! O'Hara comes out at Reject, who grabs O'Hara in a side headlock. O'Hara shoves Reject off into a corner, but Reject grabs the ropes and jumps backwards, thinking O'Hara is going to run underneath. But instead, O'Hara stands behind, and when Reject turns around, returns the earlier slap! COLE Uh-oh! Reject holds his face, then charges, but gets caught in a drop toehold! Reject quickly gets to his feet, to be slapped again by O'Hara! This time Reject backs into his corner, as O'Hara waves him on. COLE And it's getting heated here early on! Reject slides to the outside to buy some time, as the crowd boos. Reject trash talks with some fans, then steps back into the ring. Reject and O'Hara tie up, and Reject backs O'Hara into the ropes. He backs off, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! And another! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! Reject then whips O'Hara into the ropes, and attempts a hiptoss, but O'Hara spins through, and hooks him, delivering a snap suplex! COLE And a terrific counter by Jamie O'Hara! O'Hara hits Reject with a dropkick! Reject gets to his feet, and takes another dropkick, sending him over the top to the floor! COLE And O'Hara with the clear advantage! O'Hara runs to the corner, and springs himself over the top rope onto Reject! COACH Whoa! COLE Springboard bodypress to the outside onto Reject! O'Hara hammers Reject on the floor, then picks him up and delivers a European uppercut, followed by a kick to the side of the hip. He then tosses Reject back inside, and wrings his arm. He delivers a kick to the midsection, and wrings the arm once again. He delivers another kick, but Reject is able to use his free arm to push his head back, and back him into a corner. Reject gets free, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! COACH Geez! Reject whips O'Hara across, and O'Hara jumps to the second buckle, and fakes Reject out. Reject drops down, and O'Hara climbs to the top, and hits Reject with a flying bodypress! 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara picks Reject up, and delivers a bulldog out of the corner! Cover... 1... 2... Kickout! A snap suplex follows, and O'Hara goes to the top rope. COLE And Jamie O'Hara looking for the early finish here! O'Hara attempts the 450 KNEEDROP~!!!...but Reject rolls out of the way! COLE Nobody home, and now both men hurting! Reject slowly gets to his feet, and shakes the cobwebs off. He then hammers on the back of O'Hara. COACH And O'Hara, I think he may have hurt a knee on that one, Reject may not have noticed! O'Hara gets to his feet, amidst the pounding, and Reject grabs his leg and trips him to the mat. COLE Yes he did! Reject hooks a FIGURE-FOUR~! COLE Submission hold applied! Will O'Hara give up? COACH He may want to here, if he wants to be in good shape for the Rumble later! O'Hara struggles, screaming out in pain. He valiantly reaches for the ropes. COACH Reject knows everything in there, how could I underestimate him? O'Hara makes one last big reach, and grabs the bottom rope! The referee forces Reject to break the hold. Reject does, then grabs O'Hara in the corner again, and delivers a CHOP~! Crowd: WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!!! COACH And those chops of Reject are really being laid in tonight! Reject whips O'Hara across, but O'Hara gets out of the way of Reject's charge, then rolls him up! 1... 2... Kickout! Reject goes for a spin kick, but O'Hara ducks, then gives Reject a kick to the midsection. He goes for a whip, but Reject reverses. O'Hara comes out, and executes a CRUCIFIX~! 1... 2... Kickout! O'Hara hops to the second rope, looking to deliver OH, SNAP~! COLE Could be that Blockbuster of his! COACH Oh, SNAP~! O'Hara comes off, but Reject ducks and avoids the move...then grabs O'Hara, and delivers the EULOGY~!!!!!11111 COLE He got it! The Eulogy from Reject! Cover... 1... 2... O'Hara gets a foot on the rope... 3!!! COACH He got him! COLE Wait a minute, O'Hara's foot was on the rope! The referee hands Reject the belt, as O'Hara complains to the referee from the mat. BUFFER The winner of the match, and STILL OAOAST X-Division Champion... Buffer is cut off, as another referee slides into the ring, and supports O'Hara's argument, explaining to the official referee that O'Hara's foot was on the bottom rope. The referees then confer with Buffer. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the second official has informed me that Jamie O'Hara did get his foot on the rope during the count! *crowd cheers* BUFFER Therefore, this match for the X-Title will CONTINUE~! *crowd cheers* Reject is highly upset, complaining to the referees. He attacks O'Hara from behind, as the match resumes. COLE So the match continues! COACH That's not right! Reject got the pinfall! The referee raised his hand! Reject stomps away at O'Hara on the mat, then picks him up. He carries him over to a corner, and attempts to ram his head into a buckle...but O'Hara blocks! COLE And Jamie O'Hara not done yet! O'Hara blocks a second time, then rams Reject's head into the buckle! Then continues, as the crowd counts along! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! Reject slumps in the corner, as O'Hara turns him around, then climbs to the second buckle, and the crowd counts again as he lays in punches! 1!!! 2!!! 3!!! 4!!! 5!!! 6!!! 7!!! 8!!! 9!!! 10!!! O'Hara calls out to the crowd, which cheers him on in response. He then sets up an Irish whip, but Reject blocks, then brings him back into the same corner, where the referee stands, as the two collide! COLE Oh, and down goes the referee! All three men are down, in fact, as the crowd chants for Jamie. COLE And you hear the chants of "Jamie" going through the Dunkin' Donuts Center! Reject rolls over, and gets to his knees. He leans on the ropes for a few seconds, then pulls himself up. He picks up O'Hara, and executes a fisherman's buster! COACH And Reject's setting him up now! If that idiot referee comes around, we can put this one to bed with no controversy! Reject next drags O'Hara over to the ropes, backs to the other side, and hits him with the ROLLING THUNDER~! Reject gets to his feet and plays to the crowd, drawing boos. COLE And things looking very good for Reject, but he's got to save some for the Rumble, as well! Reject slams O'Hara in the middle of the ring, then goes to the top rope. COACH This is it, right here! Reject comes off with the MACHO MAN ELBOW~! He covers, but still no referee, so he counts a fall himself. COACH See? That's twice he's pinned Jamie O'Hara tonight! COLE That doesn't count! Reject slides out of the ring, and grabs the X-Title belt. COLE And now Reject with the X-Title belt, so much for winning without controversy! COACH Hey, when it comes down to it, you gotta win any way you can! Reject slides in, and waits for O'Hara to get up. However, the referee is getting up as well, sees Reject with the belt, and tries to grab it from him! COLE And now the referee is back... O'Hara gets to his feet, and tackles Reject from behind, right into the referee! He then grabs the belt off the mat, and clocks Reject! COACH OH NO! COLE And Reject is out of it! O'Hara covers, as the other referee comes back out to the ring... 1... 2... Reject puts a foot on the rope... 3!!! *DING DING DING* COLE And we've got a NEW champion! COACH You can't be serious, Cole! Reject's foot was on the rope, just like O'Hara's was! BUFFER The winner of the match...and NEW OAOAST X-Division Champion...JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO'HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! COACH This is ridiculous, Cole! COLE Jamie O'Hara has just won his first singles title in the OAOAST! Reject is going crazy in the ring, as O'Hara makes his way to the back, cradling the belt in his arms as tears well up in his eyes. COLE An emotional moment for Jamie O'Hara, he is the NEW X-Division Champion! Back to the ring, Reject is still explaining to both referees that his foot was on the ropes. COLE And a tough break for Reject, as he was able to get his foot on the rope, like Jamie O'Hara did earlier in the match, however, the referees didn't spot it in this case! I'm sure we'll be hearing more on this issue, but as it currently stands, Reject is no longer the X-Champion, that honor now belongs to Jamie O'Hara! Right now, let's go back to the tumbler! The camera cuts to the Lethal Rumble tumbler room. Vitamin X walks into the room, where "After Hours" Felix Strutter is already at. The crowd boos. VITAMIN X All right! I'm here! Now we can get things going! X stands next to Felix. Strutter just looks at him and sneers. VX Nice to meet you too! You're Canadian, right? Shouldn't you be cutting some trees or making maple syrup instead of being here at Anglepalooza? HA! HA! STRUTTER Yeah, let's go. I got a nice, little red-haired honey waiting for some After Hour delight. VX All right, let's do this! STRUTTER (holds his hand out) Say, where is your woman, anyway? (smiles) Vitamin X steps over to get in Strutter's face, with a half-smirk. VX I hope that was a joke. WATTS Just draw the numbers, please. VX turns the tumbler around and around for a few seconds. He has a smirk on his face the entire time. VX stops turning the tumbler. VX (to Felix) Now watch this! X opens the little opening and puts his left hand inside. He pulls out a plastic ball. X opens the plastic ball, and then pulls out the piece of paper inside of it. He unfolds the piece of paper and reads it. X smiles. VX HA HA! YES! BOO-YAH~! Today is a good day for me! X turns his attention to Strutter. VX Good luck, FELIX! Heh, Felix. Seriously, THAT'S your name!? Really? I mean, I know that Canadians are ass backwards compared to Americans, but man, I didn't know you guys had such lame names too! Well, who knows, maybe you'll become OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion at AngleMania VI! Just think, OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion...FELIX Strutter! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Keep dreaming, bud! See you in the Lethal Rumble Match! X slaps Felix's right shoulder. STRUTTER Yeah, I'll see you there, "Prince Vitamin". Make fun of my name, but at least my father wasn't named after a breakfast cereal. VX (In Strutter's face again) You take that back! WATTS Draw the number, Felix! Felix draws his number, and sighs. STRUTTER (deep breath) Looks like I'm in for a long night...in and out of the ring, haha! Strutter walks away as VX looks on angrily. *cut to Sofa Central* COLE Some very interesting interaction between those two, but right now, let's go to Josh Matthews, who is looking to get an interview with a very special guest!

* DINGDINGDING * BUFFER The following contest LIVE on AnglePalooza, tag team action scheduled for one fall. Now arriving at the red carpet, accompanied by the Chief Financial Officer of the Enterprise MACKENZIE DECENZO...from Beverly Hills 90210, at a total combined weight of 460 pounds, SIMON SINGLETON and "THE HANDSOME HUSTLER" NED BLANCHARD, THE BEVERLY...HILLS...BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! Mackie works it as she leads the former three-time OAOAST World Tag Team Champions down the aisle, swaggering her hips as men -- and some women -- drool at her feet. COLE What a busy week it'll be for the Beverly Hills Blonds. Tonight it's Los Diablos de Fuego, then D*LUX on Thursday in a second round Anderson Cup bout with a trip to the Conference Finals on the line and perhaps a rematch with Los Diablos if they win and Los Diablos defeat the Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew as well. COACH Let's not walk before we can crawl. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew pulled off the biggest upset in Anderson Cup history... COLE Thanks to help from the Sooner Bruisers. COACH Still, they beat the former World Tag Team Champions, the Heavenly Rockers. Everybody but myself thought Rico and Lucius didn't stand a chance, but they proved everyone...but myself, of course...wrong. The crew places Mackie's director's chair at ringside and everyone takes their places. *Humidity's risin' Barometer's getting low According to all sources The street's the place to go* Geri Halliwell's vocals booming overhead, the entrance doors slide open, and Los Diablos prance onto the pink and yellow lit stage bumping and grinding to the music. Then they put their border crossing skills to the test and make a run for it, tossing their sombreros and other accessories aside as they make a full sprint to the ring, catching the Blonds in the middle of removing their silver vests, i.e. off-guard. COLE Los Diablos aren't going to waste anytime. They want them some of the Beverly Hills Blonds right now. COACH Figures. So do all the women. And we all know Los Diablos are women trapped inside men's bodies. How's that for irony? Women trapped inside men's bodies yet they love being inside men. Speaking of trapped, the Blonds rush to remove their vests once they spot Los Diablos racing towards them and get their arms caught in the sleeves! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!" The crowd is smart enough to know the bad predicament the Blonds are in and so do Los Diablos, who slide in and wail away with stinging overhand chops. The sound of flesh meeting flesh echoing throughout the arena as Los Diablos chop the hide off the Blonds chests, which they caress beforehand. Mackenzie can't bear to watch the public molestion of Simon and Ned any longer. She jumps on the apron to show off her "assets". One problem: Los Diablos are gay and thus immune to her charm. Not the referee, however. Nick Patrick ready to jump her bones, but Mackie pushes him away and demands order be restored. COACH Bless her heart, she tried. COLE Having been on the receiving end of many sneak-attacks from the Beverly Hills Blonds, Los Diablos de Fuego have returned the favor and the Enterprise representives are rattled. Rarely do you see Mackenzie DeCenzo behave in the matter she just did and forget something obvious like Los Diablos de Fuego being gay. You can tell they didn't see this coming at all. In fact, I'm willing to bet they took this match for granted. They're looking ahead to Thursday night and their Anderson Cup match against D*LUX. COACH Oh, shut up! It's way too early to write-off the Blonds. See last week's AFC Championship game as proof it's not how you start but how you finish. On their heels the Blonds dig into their bag of tricks and rake the eyes. Finally freed from their own attire, the Blonds whip Los Diablos into the ropes, but too hard. Before they can set for their next move Moraca and Mariachi are already on their way back, so the Blonds leapfrog and turn...right into a pair of armdrags and standing dropkicks! MACKIE Cut! Cut!! The Blonds regroup outside while Mackenzie throws a fit on the floor, chucking her high heels at Los Diablos, which Mariachi puts on and parades around in like the little queen that he is, waving to the people. COLE COACH There's a surprise. Not! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, their opponents...from sunny Cabo San Lucas, the sexiest tag team in all of Mehico, MARIACHI and MORACCA... LOS DIABLOS DE FFFUUUUUEEEEEGGOOOOOO!!! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" MARIACHI * DINGDINGDING * Though the bell has sounded Ned is perfectly fine delaying the start of the match to confer outside with his partner and manager, much to everyone's chagrin, including the referee. So Mackie hands Nick Patrick a wad of money for the inconvenience and is scolded. COACH Give me a break. Since when did Nick Patrick become a man of integrity? COLE The day he signed a OAOAST contract. COACH Hey, it wasn't until a few years ago the company actually hired lawyers. Anything signed before then is like monopoly money -- worthless. 1... 2... 3... 4... Simon finally enters the squared circle under threat of countout, and is quick to point out the high heels belonging to Mackenzie DeCenzo still being worn by Mariachi, the Diablo who will begin things on his side. Despite a brief protest Mariachi gives in and hands over the shoes, which are returned to Mackenzie who dusts them off on the ring skirt. Now the action is set to begin. Some jaw jacking to start. Singleton letting the flamboyant luchador know what he's up against, poking him in the chest, and Mariachi reciprocates. Simon laughs it off and SLAPS him! COLE Gay or straight, black or white, you don't do that to any man, let alone somebody with a Latin temper. * WHAP * Mariachi returns fire and much more. Overhand chops and forearm smashes to the face. Amidst a war Mariachi still has time for love, kissing Moracca on the cheek to simulate the tag prior to whipping Simon into the ropes. Spinning wheel kick finds its mark, and Los Diablos teach Simon HOMIES HUG~! Ned steps in to save his partner and winds up on the receiving end of a DOUBLE TILT-A-WHIRL FACE FIRST SLAM! As if having their asses handed to them isn't embarrassing enough, it gets worse as Los Diablos feel Simon coming hard from behind (!) and step away to view the lastest Enterprise production and Fox TV special: When Blonds Collide! COLE Ned just landed on the cutting room floor! Singleton staggers towards the center and a Mariachi SHEEP DIP. Mariachi cartwheels his way out of the ring, blowing Mackenzie kisses as Moracca wrings Simon's arm and rubs his hands against his genitals! COACH (sarcastic) Yeah, a slap is much worse than this. Anytime you want me to rub your privates, let me know. COLE I knew you'd finally come a... COACH ... COLE Don't playing games with my heart! Simon circles around as he desperately tries to escape the arm-wringer, swiping at his corner in hopes of creating magic, that of a miracle tag. Ned does everything he can to make it happen too. Holding onto the tag rope Blanchard climbs to the top and leans forward...only to CROTCH HIMSELF ON THE TURNBUCKLE as Mariachi pulls the proverbial rug out from under him by shaking the ropes! NED Forced to improvise Simon forearms Moracca hard in the face and lays in with brutal knife-edge chops. Sent in for the ride Moracca counters Singleton's tilt-a-whirl backbreaker into a tornillo armdrag takeover. Simon storms up and at Moracca, and is swept off his feet. Faster than you can say "OAOAST" Moracca leaps off the middle rope and onto Singleton with a legdrop. The cover! ONE... TWO... Kickout. * MUAH * The unorthodox tag is made, and Simon is brought down by a springboard twisting armdrag, his momentum sliding out under the ropes to the floor where he is happy to stay. Until Mariachi fakes diving through the ropes, then it's back in but quickly out as the Video Voyeur decides to let Ned have a stab at it. The cheers and applause from Simon and Mackie drown out by the boos from the fans. As is the trend, Los Diablos are disrespected by their opponent(s). The Handsome Hustler points his finger at Mariachi's face in righteous indignation...and has it sucked! Ned's like, "Oh, hell no!" and unloads with heavy rights. Mariachi retaliates and both men start exchanging chops. Knee to the midsection stops Mariachi in his tracks. Blanchard shoots him off to the far side and drives the back of the elbow into the heart, then down onto the sternum from the second rope! ONE... TWO... Kickout. Blanchard looks to slam Mariachi, but he's rolled up in a small package! ONE.. TWO... Reversed. ONE... TWO... Mariachi kicks out and catches Ned in a victory roll. ONE... TWO... Kickout. Blanchard attempts a sunset flip...but Mariachi rolls through and grapevines the legs, struggling to turn the Handsome Hustler onto his stomach as he puts up a fight. COLE Mariachi trying for Escorpión, or Scorpion Deathlock to all our American fans... COACH Or Sharpshooter to our Canadian fans. COLE (CONT'D) ...but Ned fends him off, jabbing the thumb into the eye. Blanchard clubs him to the mat and tags Simon, who waits for his cue while Ned places Mariachi in a double chicken-wing. Trapped in no man's land Mariachi grinds his backside against Ned's genitals, creepy him out long enough to escape as Simon springboards off the top and clotheslines his own partner! COACH What a dirty-handed trick that was. Mariachi played to every red blooded American male's fear. He oughta be ashamed of himself. COLE Well, some would say you'd need a psychological edge to be succesful in wrestling. COACH Explioting a man's deepest, darkest fear shouldn't be one of those tools. Simon and Mackie can't believe it. Mackenzie cries foul when Mariachi sneaks up behind the Video Voyeur and dropkicks him over the top to the floor! And while Mariachi is kept at bay, Moracca scrambles around the ring and cannonballs himself off the apron onto Simon below! Absolutely livid Mackie gets herself tossed after continuing to argue with referee Nick Patrick. The fans are happy to see it but not Simon and Ned, who pick up where Mackenzie left off and pay for it in the form of HANDSPRING CORKSCREW PLANCHAS!! "YEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" The fans are loud and proud, as are Los Diablos de Fuego. They toss Simon back in and hop on the apron. Moracca leaping to the top rope while Mariachi scales the turnbuckles. Los Diablos hit a SPRINGBOARD FAMEASSER and FROG SPLASH in succession! ONE... TWO... THR-- NO!! Count broken up by Blanchard. Pleading ignorance, Ned "apologizes" for his actions. Nick Patrick doesn't buy it and neither does Moracca, who's about to take care of business when he's restrained by the referee, allowing for some heel shenanigans as Ned rakes Mariachi's eyes and throws him outside. There he slams Mariachi on the floor, making him regret countering his earlier attempt, and WHIPS him with his own RHINESTONE BELT! COACH Careful. He might like that. COLE Will you stop! The referee turns around the moment Ned loses the belt and places Mariachi on the apron. Of course he denies any wrongdoing when questioned, crossing his fingers behind his back in the process. The tag is made, and Isiah Washington's favorite wrestler suplexes Mariachi inside. The cover. ONE... TWO... Kickout! Ned smashes Mariachi into the top turnbuckle in the Blonds corner and hammers away, driving the shoulder into the midsection before stomping a mudhole and walking it dry. Then steps aside at the referee's request to allow Mariachi out. Nick Patrick having forgotten just which corner Mariachi's in, as Simon CHOKES him with the belt! COLE Behind you, Nick. Damnit! The Handsome Hustler is sure to capture the moment on his imaginary camera phone, which he shows off to Simon before re-focusing his attention on Mariachi, and eats a right hand. Again. And again. Mariachi fighting his way out of enemy terrority, crawling between Ned's legs to reach his corner, but the speedy Simon Singleton is there to cut off the tag. Moracca is forced to be restrain again as the Blonds drag Mariachi back to their corner and show him how straight guys tag team, beating him to a not-so-bloody pulp. COACH Haha. There you go. Show him how it's done, fellas. Although it might be a hate crime in more than one state. COLE I'm sure Theodore would be able to place a few calls on their behave. You know, pay a few people off here and there. COLE Watch your tone, or they'll have a case against you for defamation of character. Following an illegal switch, Simon slams Mariachi and connects off the top with a big elbow. ONE... TWO... KICKOUT! Mariachi is stood up and dropkicked square in the face. ONE... TWO... Mariachi's kicks out again. For his effort he's reward with forearm shots to the face, then sent for a ride into the far corner, tailed from behind by Simon who's unable to react fast enough when Mariachi's leaps off the second rope and brings him down in a sunset flip! ONE... TWO... TH-- KICKOUT! One step ahead of Mariachi, Blanchard knocks Moracca off the apron before Los Diablos even have a chance at making the tag. Ned reminds everyone of that as he returns to the corner pointing at his head. Another exchange by the Blonds, a proper tag this time around. Simon firing Mariachi off into the ropes and down with a drop toehold as Ned plants the point of the elbow across the neck. ONE... TWO... But only two. The Blonds a half-a-count away from winning the match. Gutwrench suplex and a beauty. Ned looking to pick up steam as he hits the ropes and drops the knee...but it's caught and turned into a FIGURE-4 LEGLOCK! COLE How devastating a loss would this be for the Enterprise if Mariachi gets Ned to submit. COACH Ned Blanchard isn't Roberto Duran, Mikey. He isn't a quitter. COLE Ro--Roberto Duran? Who are you, the Coach or JBL? I mean, Roberto Duran? Wow. Simon and Moracca both enter to prevent the other from interfering, with Moracca swatting down Simon's attempted dropkick to place him in an INDIAN DEATHLOCK! COLE Now both Blonds are trapped, and there's no Mackenzie DeCenzo to help bail them out! Keeping a close eye on the situation is Nick Patrick. And what a task it is. Checking for a submission on one side, counting both men out on the other. Moracca breaks the Indian deathlock to avoid a disqualification. They want to win badly, whereas the Blonds are just looking to survive. Patrick escorts Moracca to the corner, leaving Simon free to gouge Mariachi in the eyes. Once he reaches his corner Ned looks to tag, but Simon can barely stand. Panic sets in as the Blonds spot Mariachi nearing his corner. Blanchard forced to suck it up in order to prevent the tag, bad limp and all. He closes in and... "YEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" ...throws his hands up as the tag is made! A devilish smile comes across Moracca's face as he knows he has Ned right where he wants him. Spring fresh from spending all that time on the apron, Moracca goes off like he hasn't had sex for six months, ravaging the Handsome Hustler in the corner with shots to the face. ONE... TWO... THREE... MORACCA UNO... DOS... TRES... CUATRO... CINCO... SEIS... SIETE... OCHO... NUEVE... Moracca pauses to peform a pelvic thrust, adding insult to injury. DIEZ! Moving at a snail's pace, Simon sneaks up from behind, and gets leveled by a dropkick. The roar of the crowd making Moracca feeling all tingly inside. * THUD * MORACCA COLE Oh, my! COACH You don't think... COLE Yes, I do. Stinkface! Blanchard gets a faceful of ass. He crawls on all fours to the center of the ring, coughing and wheezing. Moracca actually helping the Handsome Hustler to his feet...to lift him up in the pumphandle and hit the sideslam. COLE Slippery When Wet! ONE... TWO... THREE! NO!! Saved by Simon. Mariachi returns to the mix and all hell breaks loose. Nick Patrick tries to separate the two but gets caught with an accidental elbow. As Mariachi checks on the referee, Simon tosses him outside...but the flaming luchador skins the cat and takes the Video Voyeur out with him in a headscissors. Inside, Moracca signals for the piledriver. Which is easier said than done. Having spent most of his strength on the pumphandle, Moracca struggles to take Ned up and decides against it. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COACH What are they booing for? COLE They wanna see Blanchard spiked on his head. I kinda do too to be quite honest. Urged on by the crowd Moracca is determinded to give the people what they want. Suddenly, a MUSCULAR BLACK MAN appears on the apron and hits Moracca with a BLOCKBUSTER! COLE No, damnit! COACH I don't know where, but I swear I've seen this guy before. The man with a black shirt reading "CPA" places Ned on top for the cover just as the referee shakes off the cobwebs. ONE... TWO... THREE!!! * DINGDINGDING * *Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime* BUFFER Here are your winners, the BEVERLY HILLS BLLLLOOOOOOOONDSSSSS!! Barely able to stand, the Blonds are carried backstage by the newest member of the Enterprise. COLE Souvabitch! COACH (laughs) Brilliant. COLE The Enterprise have done it again. Unbelievable. Los Diablos de Fuego had the match won. What I wanna know is, who was that man. Somebody his size shouldn't be able to do what he did. COACH In the words of Theodore Moneymaker, money talks. The Enterprise only hire the best. FADE OUT OAOAST SYNDICATED RETURNS~! FEBRUARY 24, 2007 CHECK YOUR LOCAL LISTINGS

"THE LONE WOLF" JAMES WOLFENSTEIN vs. GIBRALTAR (with Saint Andrew) MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is the OPENING MATCH OF ANGLEPALOOZA!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! Buffer smiles, he always enjoys the roar of the crowd and tonight the crowd is definitely roaring. MICHAEL BUFFER It is scheduled for ONE FALL with a 30 minute time limit. Introducing first, making his return to the OAOAST – this monster stands 7 foot 5 inches tall and tips the scale at 502 pounds. Originally from Israel – led to the ring by the infamous Saint Andrew this issssss GIBRANTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRR!! The arena lights dim, only the AnglePalooza logos on the AngleTron are lit up as “Bloody Murder” kicks in. After a few moments, the entrance doors slide open, and Saint Andrew enters the arena followed closely behind by the giant Gibraltar. SAINT ANDREWS Be warned OAOAST, the leviathan is back!! MICHAEL COLE On HeldDOWN Saint Andrew brought back to the OAOAST COACH Yeah and James Wolfenstein suffered the consequences, I was glad to see someone take that smug bastard down a peg or five The lights slowly return to the arena as Gibraltar steps over the top rope and then just stands there in the middle of the ring, towering over the referee as he waits for his opponent. MICHAEL BUFFER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND his opponent. From Dayton in Ohio – this promising rookie comes into the match tonight with a spotless record of 10 victories and zero defeats, here is “The Lone Wolf” JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES WOLFENSTEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN!! WOLF!! WOLF!! WOLF!! WOLF!! ”Move bitch, get out the way Get out the way bitch, get out the way Move bitch, get out the way Get out the way bitch, get out the way James Wolfenstein pushes one of the OAOAST crew to the side and then marches through the curtains into the arena looking like he’s ready to murder someone. ”OH NO! The fight's out I'ma 'bout to punch yo...lights out Get the FUCK back, guard ya grill There's somethin' wrong, we can't stay still I've been drankin' and bustin' two and I been thankin' of bustin' you Upside ya motherfuckin' forehead” COACH Listen to the cracka’ trying to get some street cred by using my boy Ludacris’ track. MICHAEL COLE Or maybe he’s sending a message to Gibraltar. COACH The taped up shoulder is definitely sending a message, it’s saying, “I’m hurt and about to get hurt worse.” ”And if your friends jump in, "Ohhh gurrlll", they'll be mo' dead Causin' confusion, Disturbin Tha Peace It's not an illusion, we runnin the streets So bye-bye to all you groupies and golddiggers Is there a bumper on your ass? NO NIGGA!” The Lone Wolf doesn’t seem too hampered or slowed down by his left shoulder even though it is heavily taped up, probably as a result of what happened on HeldDOWN. James steps up on the apron and stares right at the big man, defiantly daring him to make a move almost. ”I'm doin' a hundred on the highway So if you do the speed limit, get the FUCK outta my way I'm D.U.I., hardly ever caught sober and you about to get ran the FUCK over” When Wolfenstein tries to step through the ropes the giant Gibraltar makes his move and clubbers James across the back with his hamhock of a right hand that knocks James off the apron. COACH Good! Show the little wolf cub what it’s like to face a real man! MICHAEL COLE Come on now let the man in the ring. COACH Why should he? If Wolfenstein isn’t man enough to get in the ring he’s got no business being in the OAOAST. Wolfenstein circles the ring, then leaps up on the apron behind Gibraltar, but once again he’s stopped by Gibraltar as the big man drives a knee into the side of the Lone Wolf. Wolfenstein falls off the apron, staggered by the blow to the head as Gibraltar roars with delight in the ring MICHAEL COLE The match hasn’t even begun yet! COACH And he’s STILL behind, I’m loving it. MICHAEL COLE Don’t forget that this is just the opening match here tonight. COACH Good! Much more carnage to come, I can’t wait. Wolfenstein shakes the cobwebs as he tries to figure out how to actually get in the ring without getting clobbered by the giant. As he thinks he walk keeps an eye on Saint Andrew, the cocky manager who’s getting a little too close for comfort. James staggers, then grabs the guardrail to remain standing. COACH He’s done for, Gibraltar is just too much for him. But it turns out to be a ploy to lure Saint Andrew in because the second the manager is within arm’s reach Wolfenstein grabs the man by his jacket and then nails him with a stiff forearm. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!! And then a second one followed by Wolfenstein hurling the manager chest first into the ringpost. COACH DISQUALIFY HIM!! He can’t put his hands on a manager! MICHAEL COLE The match hasn’t started Coach, can’t disqualify him for that. James grabs the manager by the throat and his pants and then raises him high above him with a gorilla press and then tosses Saint Andrew through the second and third rope into the ring, right at the feet of Gibraltar. Wolfenstein’s plan seems to be to use Saint Andrew to distract Gibraltar as he runs around the corner and then slides under the bottom rope *WHAM!!* The Lone Wolf only gets about half way under the bottom rope before Gibraltar drops his 500+ pounds across James’ back with an elbow drop that squashes Wolfenstein like a Goldberg match. MICHAEL COLE DENIED! Gibraltar rolls through the ropes to the floor, then he grabs Wolfenstein by the throat and tries to haul him to his feet only to be hit with a knee to the nose. Wolfenstein finally has Gibraltar close enough to hit him and uses the opportunity to drive his knee into Gibraltar’s face three times staggering the big man. Wolfenstein breaks Gibraltar’s grip, then takes a few steps back to get a running start for a leap off the apron. GIBRALTAR CAUGHT HIM!! COACH Holy shit Gibraltar caught Wolfenstein in mid air. MICHAEL COLE He caught him by the throat too…HOLY SHIT OUT OF THE WAY!! Gibraltar twists around with Wolfenstein held high above his head and drops the Lone Wolf with a Choke Slam... THROUGH THE HI-YAH COMMENTATOR’S TABLE *CRESH!!* HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! HOLY SHIT!! MICHAEL COLE Monitors flying everywhere! COACH My god he could have broken Wolfesnstein’s neck with that choke slam! The referee rushes over to check on James Wolfenstein as Gibraltar raises both massive fists in the air as a sign of victory. It only takes the referee a couple of seconds to make the dreaded “X” signal to the back. MICHAEL COLE This… COACH Hey let’s see the replay! MICHAEL COLE You don’t have to sound so happy. COACH Let’s *fake sob* see the *sob-sob* replay again then… better? MICHAEL COLE No! 0==== Instant replay ====0 We see a slow motion replay of Gibraltar catching James Wolfenstein as he leaps off the apron by putting his giant hand around the rookie’s throat and then holding him up in the air. As he turns both of the Japanese commentators leap out of their chairs before Gibraltar drives Wolfenstein into the commentator’s table neck and shoulders first. 0========0 COACH He hit it neck first, that’s all of his own weight plus the driving force of Gibraltar putting him through the table. MICHAEL COLE He’s a MONSTER!! Trainers, Road Agents and EMTs flock to ringside both to keep Gibraltar away from James Wolfenstein but also to check on the condition of the rookie. The camera cuts to the OAOAST Anglepalooza 2007 interview set. Josh Matthews is standing by with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowd boos loudly. Puerto is in his wrestling attire, and is carrying his black spray-painted briefcase with him. JOSH MATTHEWS P.R., tonight you will be pulling double duty, as you and your partner, Stephen Joseph Popick, take on D*LUX AND Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles. PRL Yeah. J. MATH (CONT'D) Then, you will compete in the main event in the Lethal Rumble Match. How are you feeling right now? "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN Well, Todd, I feel...pretty damn good right now actually. Yeah, I'm not nervous at all. In fact, I am confident. Very, very confident that tonight I will go 2-0 at Anglepalooza! Because Marc, think about it. Just who am I facing tonight in the Triple Threat Tag Team Match? On one team, you've got two wussies who only wrestle because they can't sing OR dance to save their lives...and they're terrible at the wrestling part too! And on the other team, you've got a pot smoking, Ebonics spewing, doo-rag wearing, bling-bling having JACKASS! And teaming up with him, you've got a midget...or a 12-year-old...or a 12-year-old midget! Either way, this guy doesn't frighten me. In fact, none of them do! Which is why I am going to go into the ring later tonight, charging like a bull, and defeating "Showtime" Shayne Brave, "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, Colombian Heat, and Spanish Fly TO WIN BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY MINE, THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL smiles evilly. He chuckles and strokes his chin before speaking into the microphone again. PRL And then, Kevin Kelly, after I am through beating D*LUX, Heat, and Spanish Fly, it's off to the Lethal Rumble, where I will proceed to eliminate 29 other jabronies! One! By one! By damn one! Until I am the LAST MAN STANDING! And then, I will go to AngleMania VI on April 1st, and defeat Drek Stone like I should have done at World Without End to finally...FINALLY...finally...win the One And Only AngleSault Thread World Heavyweight Title LIKE I SHOULD HAVE DONE ALL ALONG! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" PRL looks right into the camera. PRL And that is why, Dok Hendrix, I will be victorious tonight. Because, there is only one PRL on the face of this planet. And luckily for all of you Lightning Bolts, PRL works for the OAOAST! And since PRL works in the OAOAST, that means that he is going to win the Lethal Rumble and go on to fight for the OAOAST Title at AngleMania! Because I AM the Corporate Champ! Because I AM the P.R. Menace! And because I AM the single best damn Puerto Rican athlete, nevermind wrestler, of ALL-TIME! And that's the truth, Ruth! THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!! JOSH MATTHEWS Thanks for your comments, P.R. Good luck in the Rumble tonight. PRL Anytime, Sean Mooney. PRL tips his hat (if he had one), and then smiles a cheesy grin. The Corporate Champ walks away, with a swagger in his step. Josh Matthews watches him walk away and sighs. The crowd boos loudly. CUE: Commercial Fade in on a black and white screen. The sound of a heart beating is heard. A cheering crowd is also heard. A silhouette of somebody is shown. VOICEOVER He is a gifted athlete. Another silhouette is shown. VOICEOVER He is adored all over the world. Another silhouette is shown. The heart beating gets faster. The crowd cheering gets louder. VOICEOVER He is an icon in professional wrestling. One more silhouette is shown. The heart beating is the fastest it's been. The crowd gets even louder. VOICEOVER He is known by many names, but you can call him... "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" "MAL-I-BU!" The silhouette fades away, replaced with a close-up of Zack Malibu's face. Zack looks PISSED~! The heart has stopped beating, but the crowd is now chanting, "MALIBU!" CUE GENERIC ROCK MUSIC~! A montage of Zack Malibu clips plays, spanning his entire career. V.O. And now, OAOAST Home Entertainment presents...ZACK MALIBU: THE FRANCHISE. A 3-disc DVD set chronicaling the career of the greatest OAOAST superstar, past, present or future! Featuring exclusive interviews with Zack and his greatest allies and enemies! Clips of Zack, AngleSault, Caboose, CWM, PK, Northstar, and Candie being interviewed. V.O. Exclusive footage never seen before anywhere else! A clip of Zack hanging out in the lockerroom is shown. There's also a clip of Malibu standing outside his house. And a clip of Zack singing karoake. V.O. And 16 of Zack's greatest matches, spanning his entire career, from his early days in the In Crowd to his recent rivalry with Bruce Blank and the Wildcards! Featuring: --The controversial title change at Beach Blast 2002! --The 80 minute Iron Man Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title between Zack and Northstar at License To Pin 2003! --Both of Zack's AngleMania World Title wins! --The TLC Match from HeldDOWN~! in September of 2005! --And the recent Wargames match with Zack, Leon Rodez, and the Global Party Exchange taking on The Wildcards and Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix from Syndicated in July of 2006! Go inside the mind, and look back at the most storied career in OAOAST history! Zack Malibu is shown hitting the School's Out to different opponents. V.O. There is only one Zack Malibu, and there is only one DVD set like this! The DVD cover box is shown: Zack is on the cover, naturally, striking a pose. The background is a collage of moments from his career. The top of the box has the words ZACK MALIBU: THE FRANCHISE written on it. V.O. Get the story of The Franchise of the OAOAST. Get Zack Malibu: The Franchise this Tuesday at FYI, Best Buy, Circuit City, Radio Shack, Shop Rite, JC Penney, K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Toys R' Us, McDonald's, and Donald Trump's House Of Waffles all around the country! BUY IT NOW! The generic rock music ends. And so does the commercial. Cut back to live action with a wide pan of the crowd inside the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island. They cheer and raise their signs up in the air, desperately trying to get on TV. COLE Wow. How eerie is it that a DVD set chronicaling the career of Zack Malibu is going to be release two days after Anglepalooza? Two days after what is quite possibly the final match of his career? Is this some sort of sign? COACH I don't know, Mikey. The gods must be playing a sick joke on us! They know how nervous we all are about this match, so they're teasing us about it! Gods are cruel! COLE This is certainly quite the concidence, Coach. I'm sure if Zack loses tonight, he's not going to be in the mood to pick up this DVD on Tuesday, and the man loves DVDs! COACH I'm sure Bruce Blank would buy it...and use it as a coaster for his beer. COLE Well, that might also depend if he wins or loses tonight, Coach. If he wins, he's gonna want to rub it in as much as he can. But if he loses, I don't think he can stand to even see a PICTURE of Zack Malibu ever again! COACH Well, in that case, I hope we lock him up in a padded room littered with nothing but Zack Malibu pictures after tonight! COLE I hope so too, actually. The Survive Or Surrender Match is coming up later tonight, but for now, let's go backstage to the tumbler! Cut backstage, where Bill Watts stands at the tumbler. WATTS We ready to get this thing started? (to someone off-camera) All right, then. Come on in, boys! Reject walks onto the screen from the left side, and Alfdogg from the right. The two exchange looks at each other, as the crowd boos. ALF With all due respect, Mr. Watts, I only see one "boy" standing here. (looks at Reject) REJECT (laughs) Well, it's no problem. Come the Rumble, I'll make a man out of you soon enough. *crowd buzzes* WATTS OK, you two have been chosen as the first two to choose your numbers. Good luck! ALF You first. You can have your draw of any number...but it won't matter in the end. Reject picks his ball out, and opens it, taking a look at his number. He cracks a big smile. REJECT Oh, I think it does matter. ALF Well, we'll see. Meanwhile, let me show you how a man does it. Alf reaches into the tumbler and grabs a ball, then opens it and grabs the paper. ALF You ready? Reject nods, while still smiling. ALF (opens the paper) Read it, and weep! Reject nods sarcastically, as Alf turns and looks at his number. Alf's jaw drops, shocked, as the crowd cheers. REJECT (laughing) Believe me, Alf...I'm weeping inside. *crowd cheers* REJECT (slaps Alf on the back) Good luck! Alf crumbles up his number, then watches Reject leave the room. Alf starts to say something to Watts, but stops, and simply leaves the room in a huff. *Call me (call me) on the line Call me, call me any, anytime* COACH Well, Reject was in a lot more jovial mood than Alf was after those drawings! COLE He certainly was, but more on that later, our next match is about to start right now!

Okay, so I'm finishing up the Triple Threat HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship right now as we speak. Besides that, I've got all the matches except for James Wolfenstein vs. Gibaltar. I've got all the match-up graphics too, which rock, IIRC.

Would it be all right if I used some of the guys in the Lethal Rumble Match in pre-Rumble segments? They're not gonna talk, or really do much, other than maybe stretch and walk backstage, you know what I mean? Just something to set the stage for the main event. Is this okay?

TV-14 L,V * DUN DUN DUN DUNNA, DUN DUN DUNNA * Across a river, over a bunch of mountains, through fields, sweeping past trees and bushes, hovering over the skyline of New York City, the OAOAST logo flies through the air...before sweeping down, brushing past an elderly man who seems understandably shocked to see six over-sized letters fly past him. The logo continues going, nearing a house...which luckily, a woman is leaving, meaning the logo can sweep through the open door, continuing on down the hallfway and into the living room where a young kid is sat on his computer. It sweeps past him, hitting the computer...which explodes with a flash, lighting up much to the kid shock and delight. THE OAOAST...WHAT THE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORLD IS READING~! We fade in on a giant timer. The timer is counting down 10 seconds. We hear a crowd counting along. 10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! * BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT! * NOT VINCE McMAHON, BUT A VERY CLOSE SOUND A-LIKE IT'S TIME TO RUMBLE! IT'S TIME TO LETHAL RUMBLE! IT'S TIME FOR ANGLEPALOOZA! The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2007 logo flashes across the screen at the same time the screen appears to be experiencing an earthquake. The classic WWF Royal Rumble theme song plays in the background, as not-Vince McMahon continues speaking. We see clips of past Lethal Rumble (and OAOAST Royal Rumble) matches. NOT VINCE McMAHON 30 OAOAST SUPERSTARS COMPETE IN THE 30-MAN LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH WITH THE WINNER RECEIVING A SHOT AT THE OAOAST WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP AT ANGLEMANIA VI! SCHEDULED TO COMPETE IN THE 2007 LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH ARE... At this point, everytime not-Vince reads the name of an OAOAST wrestler, the OAOAST wrestler's match-up graphic appears on screen, with their name on the right hand corner of the screen in big white letters. The classic WWF Royal Rumble theme song continues playing in the background. NOT-VINCE McMAHON LANDON "LA CUCARACHA" MADDIX~! ALFDOGG~! "THE MANITOBA MAMMOTH" DEON BLACK~! THE OAOAST HEARTLAND CHAMPION THUNDERKID~! THE OAOAST X-DIVISION CHAMPION REJECT~! "THE CURRENT BIG THING" BROCK AUSSTIN~! ONE-HALF OF THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS COLOMBIAN HEAT~! ONE-HALF OF THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS SPANISH FLY~! THE MUSCLE FOR THE LIGHTNING CREW, CUBAN WALL~! "URBAN LEGEND" TODD CORTEZ~! "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JAMIE O' HARA~! ONE-HALF OF THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE, SCOTTY STATIC~! ONE-HALF OF THE GLOBAL PARTY EXCHANGE, JOHNNY JAX~! ONE-HALF OF BLACK T, TONY BRANNIGAN~! ONE-HALF OF BLACK T, "THE ICE HEART" DAN BLACK~! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN~! THE FINANCIAL CONSULTANT FOR THE LIGHTNING CREW, VITAMIN X~! JAMES RIGGS~! THE MAD CAPPA~! JOHN "ROCK HARD" BRICKSTON~! THE OAOAST 24/7 CHAMPION BOHEMOTH~! KENJI KAWADA~! EL ESPERITO~! "IT"~! THE HI-YAH WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION FAQU~! "AFTER HOURS" FELIX STRUTTER~! "THE NATURAL" CHRISTIAN WRIGHT~! ONE-HALF OF AMERICA'S TEAM, CHARLIE MOSS~! ONE-HALF OF AMERICA'S TEAM, QUENTIN BENJAMIN~! AND TWO MYSTERY ENTRANTS~! For this, two silhouettes appear, each with a giant white question mark on their faces. NOT-VINCE (CONT'D) IT'S TIME FOR THE SIXTH ANNUAL LETHAL RUMBLE MATCH! IT'S TIME FOR OAOAST ANGLEPALOOZA~!!! The OAOAST Anglepalooza 2007 logo fades away, replaced with a shot of the ruckus crowd at the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island. The classic WWF Royal Rumble theme song continues playing. BOOM~! BOOM~! BOOM~! BOOM~! B O O M ~ ! The camera pans over the ROARING crowd in attendance tonight. Fans hold up their signs, in hopes of attaining their five seconds of fame, while the following words appear on the top left hand corner of the screen. LIVE! PROVIDENCE, RHODE ISLAND The set: a giant AngleTron sits perfectly in the center of the entrance set. Underneath it are sliding doors to be used by the wrestlers tonight. On the right side of the AngleTron is a kind of big OAOAST Anglepalooza 2007 logo. On the left side of the AngleTron is a kind of big timer counting down the days until AngleMania VI in Toronto. The entrance stage is small, so that there is no need for a huge ramp. The entrance stage and the aisle are painted to look like a concrete road, to go along with the theme to the Anglepalooza logo this year. The ring aprons are black, with ANGLEPALOOZA written on them in the same style as on the logo, but in white. Black ring steps, black ring posts, black ring ropes, and black turnbuckles complete the package. TONY SCHIAVONE (Off-Screen) It only happens once a year! The Road To AngleMania begins NOW! Welcome to Anglepalooza 2007! Pan down onto our hosts for the evening, standing on top of the world famous OAOAST Wrestling INTERVIEW STAGE~! The classic WWF Royal Rumble theme song dies down. SCHIAVONE Hello everybody, and welcome to our first pay-per-view of the year 2007! Tony Schiavone here, and with me as always, is the one and only Jesse "The Body" Ventura! And fans, tonight, we are in for one hell of a show! It is quite possibly the greatest Anglepalooza in the history of the One And Only AngleSault Thread! JESSE "THE BODY" VENTURA Now Tony, normally I'd laugh at your ridicolous hyperboles, but this time, I have to agree with ya! This Anglepalooza could go down in the history books as the greatest Anglepalooza of them all! SCHIAVONE We all know about the main event. The tradition continues. A 30-man Lethal Rumble Match with the winner to take on the OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion Drek Stone, who is NOT here tonight, by the way, at AngleMania VI on April the 1st. VENTURA The Champ's a busy guy, Tony. He's got that Ocean's 13 movie coming out, so he's probably putting the finishing touches on that film, and don't forget the press junkets. It ain't easy being the champion for the greatest professional wrestling company in the world, you know. SCHIAVONE I know that, Jess, but I was hoping that the Champion of this company would be here tonight so that he could find out first hand just which one of those 30 men in the Lethal Rumble Match tonight will fight him for the World Title at AngleMania VI! VENTURA He'll find out soon enough. You know how fast word gets around in this day and age. SCHIAVONE Anyway, this Lethal Rumble is a star studded Lethal Rumble. 30 of the very best OAOAST superstars will be competing for one gold: a shot at the OAOAST Title at AngleMania VI. You've got your veterans like Tony Brannigan, Dan Black, Alfdogg, who won the Lethal Rumble last year, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican, who will be competing in his FOURTH consectutive Lethal Rumble. You've also got your newcomers like James Riggs, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, and "After Hours" Felix Strutter. And then you've got your guys who have been around for a while, but who have yet to reach the top of the mountain, and this match could be their launching pad. Colombian Heat, Bohemoth, Christian Wright, Jamie O' Hara. And who knows, maybe an underdog will win this match and go all the way to AngleMania! Spanish Fly, "It". And just WHO are the two mystery entrants? So many questions, all of which will be answered later tonight in the Lethal Rumble Match. But fans, not only do we have the Lethal Rumble Match on deck, but we also have the final battle between two men who have been at each others' throats for a long, long time. Zack Malibu will take on his greatest rival, Bruce Blank, in a Survive Or Surrender Match, and the man who loses this match...will have to retire from the sport of professional wrestling. Jess, what are your thoughts about this important match-up? VENTURA Well Tony, I tell ya, Zack Malibu is taking a HUGE risk by being in this match. He has NEVER defeated Bruce Blank in a one-on-one match before, and in fact, has been beaten up and been made humbled by the Redneck Superman on more than one occasion. Bruce Blank has pushed Zack Malibu to the brink of insanity, so it makes sense that he would challenge Bruce to a match where two wrestlers are locked inside a steel cage with a roof on top and no doors to escape through, and the only way to win is by saying, 'I surrender!' SCHIAVONE That cage is hanging above the ring right now as we speak. There has only been one other Survive Or Surrender Match in the history of the One And Only AngleSault Thread. That match took place at AngleSlam back in August of 2004 when Zack Malibu took on "The Female Phenom" Crystal for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Zack lost the Title to Crystal on that night, but if he loses to Bruce Blank tonight, he'll lose alot more than the OAOAST Title. He will lose his very own career! VENTURA Well, we know one person who will be happy if or WHEN that happens. SCHIAVONE Who? VENTURA Sly Sommers! SCHIAVONE Right. Well, he might just be the only person besides Bruce who would be happy if Zack were to lose tonight. Will tonight be the last time that Zack Malibu steps into the squared circle? Will see the end of the greatest career in the history of the OAOAST? Can The Franchise finally beat his toughest opponent ever? We'll find out later tonight, but right now, let's send it over to the announcers for this evening's show, Michael Cole and Jonathon "Da Coach" Coachman! Cut to Double C at Sofa Central~! MICHAEL COLE Thanks Tony! Hello fans, Michael Cole here, along with Da Coach as always. And fans, tonight is a big night! 8 matches are scheduled for this pay-per-view. In addition to the Lethal Rumble Match and the Survive Or Surrender Match, you'll also see the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles defended as Chicks Over Dicks take on the #1 Contenders, The Sooner Bruisers! Los Diablos de Fuego will hope to settle their feud against the Beverly Hills Blonds! The HI-YAH Tag Team Titles are up for grabs in a Triple Threat Tag Team Match where the Champions, Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly, defend their newly won Titles against former Champions D*LUX and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick! Reject battles Jamie O' Hara for the X-Division Title! James Wolfenstein takes on the man who paid off Satan's Foot Soldiers and The South Central Militia to attack him, the returning Gibraltar! And Princess Stacey makes her professional wrestling debut when she takes on Jade Rodez, who is wrestling in her first singles match on pay-per-view! JONATHAN "DA COACH" COACHMAN My girl Stacey should not be treated like this! She's a Princess! Therefore, she should have had more time to train! Certainly longer than THREE DAYS! COLE What? First off, she's not your girl! She's Vitamin X's girlfriend! And second of all, it was a member of The Lightning Crew who accepted this match! Remember? Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez accepted Jade's challenge!? COACH They can't hold off on this match? At least until Anglepalooza 2008? COLE No, Coach. This match is going to happen tonight, and that's final! Coach makes the "sign of the cross" and prays. COLE *Sigh* Anyway, fans, let's go to the first match, as we kick things off here at Anglepalooza 2007 LIVE from the Dunkin' Donuts Center in Providence, Rhode Island! The tiniest state in the union has one of the biggest events of the year! Let's go to the ring! COACH And dear lord, please make my penis bigger. COLE COACH! We're on the air. COACH Oh sorry. Amen. Coach crosses himself again. Michael Cole rolls his eyes. *DING DING DING*

The lights go down in the arena. A Puerto Rican flag appears on the AngleTron. In big white blocky letters, the following words appear on the screen, with Tha Puerto Rican saying them: *THE CHAMP IS HERE!* "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role '99" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and booing. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" throughout the song, while smoke fills the entryway and strobe lights appear on the entrance set. COLE Here we go! Main event time on HeldDOWN~! A few seconds elapsed, the entrance doors slide open, and through the smoke comes "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. The crowds' boos get louder. PR looks at the crowd in disgust, jawing with some fans. He has his right hand on his right hip, and is holding his spray-painted black briefcase with his right hand. PR sneers at the crowd, and then begins his walk down the entrance ramp as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. *DING DING DING* BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Triple Threat Match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, coming to the ring at this time. From San Juan, Puerto Rico. Weighing in at 220 lbs. He is the leader of The Lightning Crew AND The Man With The Golden Contract. "The Corporate Champion" THA PUERTOOOOOOOOOOOOOO RICCCCCCCCCAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! Chants of "P.R. SUCKS!" fill the arena as PRL continues his walk to the ring. COLE Up until last week, P.R. was announced coming to the ring as one-half of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions. But that all changed after the incredible 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match last Thursday on HeldDOWN~!. COACH Oh yap, yap, yap! Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick were ROBBED last week! That first fall shouldn’t have counted! The match should have been a tie, and the belts should have remained with P.R./Popick! COLE Nothing you can do about it now, Coach. PR and Popick are now the FORMER HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, and the belts are now being held by Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! COACH The fact that that midget and that dumbass hold those belts makes me want to puke! COLE You maybe the only one who feels that way, Coach. COACH I don’t care! I march to the beat of my own drum! Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and sneers at the crowd. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans boos while "Know Your Role '99" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican puts his spray-painted briefcase right next to him, and does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still booing loudly. PRL grabs his briefcase and heads to a second turnbuckle, where he raises the briefcase with his right hand. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his briefcase with his right ha nd again. PR hits a third second turnbuckle, and raises his briefcase with his right hand in the air and "smells the electricity" a'la The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving boos. Tha Puerto Rican gets off the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring and hands them over to a ringside attendant, then calls for a microphone. COLE PR has a chance to get his belt back this Sunday at Anglepalooza. But for now, he can get a little ounce of revenge in this Triple Threat Match, a preview of what’s to come at Anglepalooza! Spanish Fly, "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, and PRL will collide in just a few moments, and all three men will join their tag team partners for a Triple Threat Tag Team Match at Anglepalooza this Sunday, January 28th, live only on pay-per-view! COACH Stop shilling for a second, PRL is going to speak! Indeed, The Corporate Champ has a microphone in his left hand. The lights go back on in the arena. COLE What’s he going to say now? COACH Well shut up and let’s find out, okay? COLE You’re mean. "Know Your Role '99" dies down. The crowd starts booing loudly again. Another "P.R. SUCKS!" chant starts up. PRL paces around the ring, a pissed off grin on his face. "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN So this Sunday at Anglepalooza, Popick and myself have got to fight not one, but TWO tag teams, filled with not two, but FOUR jabronies in order to get OUR HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles back! Fine, I’m not gonna be complain about that. It’ll just make our eventual victory sweeter when we have to beat four men to do it! What DOES piss me off is that tonight, I have to face two of those four jabronies in ANOTHER Triple Threat Match here in Boston, Massachusetts! CHEAP POP~! COLE Bean Town coming unglued tonight! PRL I have an important match coming up this Sunday, and you expect me to fight TWO men at the same time just 72 hours before this said match? Why, this is just another example of the conspiracy the OAOAST has against me! They don’t want me to get the World Heavyweight Title, and they don’t want me to wrestle at their pay-per-views! Well, I am going to show the OAOAST Board Of Directors a thing or two when I whupped TWO pieces of trailer park trash tonight in the home of the biggest piece of trailer park trash in the world, TOM BRADY! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE Oh, I think PRL is going to get lynched for that remark! COACH Hit them where it hurts, P.R.! PRL And just like the New England Patriots, Spanish Fly and Tyler Bryant will CHOKE tonight in the main event! And after I’m done whopping their candy asses, it’s off to Anglepalooza where I will get my PRESTIGIOUS CORPORATE HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship back, then go on to win the Lethal Rumble and finally, FINALLY win the OAOAST World Heavyweight Title at AngleMania VI! And that’s the truth, Ruth! Because there is only true threat standing in this ring tonight! And it’s not that boyband wussy and it’s DEFINITLEY not that sawed-off lost member of Menudo! Oh no! It’s the man standing in the middle of this very ring right now! Yours truly, "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! The crowd boos lustfully! PRL has a cocky smirk on his face. PRL (CONT’D) And I WILL win this match tonight, because unlike Spanish Fly, I actually went through puberty! And unlike "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, I’ve actually had sex...with a girl! "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~! PRL puts the microphone away. He bounces off the ropes to get ready for the match. COLE PRL with some not too kind comments for his opponents OR the city of Boston! COACH PRL was speaking the truth, you know. COLE Oh will you stop!? "JUST ONE ON ONE THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT! JUST ONE ON ONE THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT BABY! JUST ONE ON ONE, THAT’S THE WAY WE DO IT!" The crowd explodes in cheers as "First To Believe" by A1 starts playing over the P.A. system. The entrance doors slide open, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant comes out on his own. He stands ready to fight in his denim jeans. Bryant points to PRL, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent. From Auburn Hills, Michigan. Weighing in at 209 lbs. He is one-half of D*LUX, "Tremendous" TYLLLLLEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR BRYYYYYAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT! Tyler continues slapping hands with the fans. COLE Tyler Bryant rarely wrestles in singles matches on HeldDOWN~!, but tonight he will be without his partner! COACH I can’t wait to see him get lost out there without Shayne Brave! He’s going to start panicking, just you wait! He’ll be like a deer in headlights, like a child looking for his mommy in a department store! He’s going to be in for SO much pain! I can’t wait! COLE You’re underestimating Tyler there, Coach. He maybe a tag team specialist, but that doesn’t mean that he can’t make it on his own. In fact, tonight just maybe the night he breaks out as a singles superstar! COACH Yeah! And monkeys may fly out of my BUTT! Stop with the hyperbole, Mikey! This match is PRL’s for the taking, just like the HI-YAH Tag Team Title Match this Sunday will be! They’ve got this in the bag, PR and Popick do! Just you wait! COLE Well, we’ll find out this Sunday. But for now, let’s see who’ll win this singles Triple Threat Match! As "First To Believe" continues playing, Tyler Bryant leaps onto the ring apron. He enters the ring. Tyler raises his hands in the air to cheers from the fans. Bryant takes off his stylish denim jacket and hands it over to a ringside attendant. He then walks right on over to Tha Puerto Rican and gets into a yelling contest with him. COLE Uh-oh, Tyler and PRL ready to get it on right now! COACH They should just do it right now! Let Spanish Fly watch it from his booster chair. COLE Oh, will you stop? Bryant and PRL continue yelling in each other’s faces. COLE Well, tickets are sold out for Anglepalooza, so the best way to see the show is on pay-per-view! Call your local cable or satellite operator to order now! COACH Mikey, stop shilling! A brawl could erupt right now! PR and Tyler still yell at each other. "First To Believe" by A1 dies down. The lights go down in the arena. Two spotlights shine on the entrance doors. After five seconds... *BOOM~!* Spanish Fly shoots out from underneath the entrance stage with pyro right behind him. "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi starts playing. Spanish Fly raises his right fist into the air causing the crowd to cheer. Fly points to his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist and points to both sides of the arena, and then walks down the entrance ramp, slapping hands with the fans along the way. BUFFER And his opponent! Originally from Tijuana, Mexico but now residing in San Diego, California. Weighing in at 175 lbs. He is one-half of the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions of the wooooorrrrllllllllldddddddd! The one, the only, SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! COLE The smallest HI-YAH Tag Team Champion in HI-YAH history, Spanish Fly has proven time and time again that he is a tiny stick of dynamite! He’ll have a tougher match than usual as he takes on TWO opponents at the same time, but if Spanish Fly can survive this, then suffice to say, he can survive the Triple Threat Tag Team Match this Sunday AND the Lethal Rumble Match later on that same night! Spanish Fly continues slapping hands with the fans as "Krokodilamadruinn" continues playing. COACH This is not going to be an easy match for Fly. COLE I know that. Which is why I said he’ll have to fight harder than usual. COACH I was thinking he should just take his pacifier and his teddy bear and go home. COLE Oh come on now. Spanish Fly enters the ring. He glances over at PRL and Tyler, who are still face-to-face, and then heads to a second turnbuckle, where he unstraps his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt and raises it over his head to cheers. Fly has a smile on his face as he gets off the second turnbuckle, and heads to another second turnbuckle, where he raises his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his head again, receiving more cheers from the crowd. Fly gets the crowd fired up. Fly gets off the turnbuckle. He hands his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt to referee Jimmy Korderas, who hands it over to a ringside attendant. Fly then takes off his black Spanish Fly T-shirt (SHILL~!) and throws it into the crowd. COLE Excitement is his middle name! One-half of the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions along with Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly has entertained fans all over the world during the past two years! But it wasn’t until last Thursday night that he won his first title in the OAOAST. Now, in just three days time, he’ll have to defend that title against four of the very best athletes in the world! COACH And he’ll find out that he is no match for Tha Puerto Rican! COLE (ignoring Coach) This will be quite the test tonight and at Anglepalooza. Can Spanish Fly survive this match, the Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match, AND the Lethal Rumble Match? COACH No, no, and DEFINITLEY no! The lost member of Menudo is NOT winning the Lethal Rumble Match! And look, PRL and Tyler Bryant are STILL in each other’s faces. Spanish Fly watches as PRL and Bryant continue being nose-to-nose. The lights go back on in the arena as "Krokodilamadurinn" by Quarashi dies down. Spanish Fly walks a little closer to PRL and Tyler. PRL notices this and piefaces Spanish Fly onto the mat! COLE Oh! What a sign of disrespect from Tha Puerto Rican! COACH He deserves it, that little midget! Referee Jimmy Korderas calls for the bell. *DING DING DING* [b]TRIPLE THREAT MATCH "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN vs. "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT vs. SPANISH FLY[/b] PRL strikes first with a Rock-style punch to the temple! Spanish Fly charges forward...and hits PRL with a headscissors takedown! The crowd cheers! SF turns his attention to "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, striking him with forearm shots to the head. The shots take Tyler into a turnbuckle corner. Fly whips Tyler Bryant into the opposite turnbuckle, where PRL is resting. Tyler reverses, and Fly runs into PRL’s direction, doing something of a Flair Flip onto PRL’s shoulders! Spanish Fly does a backflip, and lands on his feet on the mat. However, Tyler Bryant is right behind Spanish Fly, so he grabs Fly and hits him with a back suplex! NO! Spanish Fly stops the back suplex by pushing himself forward, kicking PRL in the face in the process! Fly then drops down with Tyler to the mat! COLE What fast paced action we’ve had so far, and it’s only been 1 minute into this match! COACH Come on P.R.! Don’t let that dwarf upstage you! Spanish Fly does a standing moonsault onto Bryant, and then covers him. 1... 2... PRL BREAKS THE COUNT! COACH Just like he’ll do this Sunday if the situation arises! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican grabs Spanish Fly and throws him UNDER the bottom rope! Spanish Fly goes sliding out of the ring! COLE Spanish Fly tossed out by Tha Puerto Rican! COACH Go back home to your momma, Fly! It’s the big boys time to play! PRL and Tyler Bryant do some amateur style wrestling on the mat. COLE PR and Tyler going old school on us with some amateur wrestling! Neither man gains the advantage, so PRL and Tyler get up and stare at each other. Puerto Rican notices Spanish Fly getting back up on the ring apron, so he charges forward and knocks Spanish Fly off the ring apron and back to the floor! COACH HA HA! PRL and Tyler Bryant go back to the amateur wrestling. Neither man gains the advantage, so they just stare at each other again. Tyler Bryant notices Spanish Fly getting back up on the ring apron, so he charges forward and knocks Spanish Fly off the ring apron and back to the floor! COLE Again! Knocking Spanish Fly off the ring apron! COACH They’re doing divide and conquer Mikey! Get Spanish Fly out of the equation, and then concentrate on each other! Brilliant strategy. COLE From PRL or Tyler Bryant? COACH PRL. Duh. Tha Puerto Rican grabs Tyler Bryant and throws him down onto the mat, grabbing his legs to apply a Sharpshooter! However, Tyler slips out of P.R.’s grip! Both men get up at the same time. PR grabs Tyler Bryant once again and throws him down onto the mat, covering him while putting his feet on the second rope! COLE Hey! 1...2...TYLER KICKS OUT! The Corporate Champ slaps the mat in frustration. He then turns to see Spanish Fly back up on the ring apron. He charges forward...but Spanish Fly ducks the charge...and headbutts PRL in the stomach! COACH He’s cheating again! COLE No he’s not! Calm down! Spanish Fly flips OVER Tha Puerto Rican into the ring, and then hits "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant with a spinning wheel kick! Spanish Fly gets right back up, so PRL charges forward...right into a drop toehold from Spanish Fly! Fly waits for PR to get up. When he does, Puerto charges forward, but Fly moves out of the way, and PRL hits the turnbuckle sternum first! "Tremendous" Tyler is back up on his feet, and he charges forward. Spanish Fly leapfrogs over him! Tyler ALMOST bumps into PRL, but luckily for him, he stops in his tracks. COLE Close call for Tyler. All that does is allow Spanish Fly the chance to roll Tyler Bryant up for the pin! ONE! TWO! PR BREAKS THE COUNT! COACH Phew. Puerto Rican grabs Spanish Fly by his mask, and whips him into a turnbuckle. PRL charges forward, Spanish Fly jumps up so that PRL runs into the ring post! PRL’s left shoulder hits the ring post! COACH OH! Puerto Rican falls out of the ring and onto the floor! Bryant attacks Spanish Fly from behind, hitting him with forearm shots to the back! He gets a successful back suplex on Fly. Tyler is starting to feel fatigued from this match-up. Bryant picks Spanish Fly up by his mask, and then gives him an Irish whip into the ropes. Samoan Drop! Bryant covers Fly. It gets a two count! COLE PRL is down! It’s just between Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly now! "Tremendous" Tyler picks Spanish Fly up. Phantom Neckbreaker on Fly! "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" "LET’S GO FLY!" COLE Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly are both fan favourites, but in this case, I think the fans would choose to root for Spanish Fly! COACH It’s the size thing, isn’t it? COLE Probably. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant picks Spanish Fly up again by his mask. He gives him a SWEET snap suplex! Cover! 1.... 2... RIGHT SHOULDER UP! COLE And again Spanish Fly gets the shoulder up! COACH If it were PRL doing the beating, this match would be over with! Come on PRL! Get up! Tyler Bryant picks Spanish Fly up again. He applies a headlock on the 4’11" Latino superstar. Spanish Fly gets out of that move by punching Tyler in the stomach repeatedly. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes, Tyler misses a clothesline, Fly bounces off the opposite ropes, Tyler Bryant grabs him...and THROWS him over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Oh! Bryant just tossed Fly out of the ring! COACH That was a little out of character for him. I like it! Tha Puerto Rican slides back into the ring and attacks Tyler Bryant! Puerto hits Tyler with Rock-style punches to the temple! COLE Look at PRL! He was lying in wait! He allowed Bryant to be worned out by Fly, and then look for his opening to attack! COACH PRL has one of the great minds in this business, and this is proof right here! Look at him go after Bryant! He’s ruthless! Ruthless aggression! I like that! *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *CHOP!* "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The knife-edged chops cause Tyler Bryant to fall to the mat. P.R. starts stomping on Tyler Bryant with his shaky leg kicks! He then switches to regular stomps, further weakening one of the men he’ll have to face this Sunday at Anglepalooza! PRL picks Tyler Bryant up by his hair. He gives him a vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through, and gives Tyler ANOTHER vertical suplex. P.R. rolls through again, and holds Tyler up in the air for a third vertical suplex. He lets the blood rush to Tyler’s head. COACH Phenomenal strength from Tha Puerto Rican! Absolutely breath taking! COLE It’s good all right. COACH Good? It’s the best! PRL does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture. He then walks over to the ropes, and drops Tyler Bryant’s stomach on the top ring rope, giving him a slingshot suplex onto the mat to complete the Corporate Trifecta! Afterwards, PRL applauds himself. He makes the cover! It gets two! As PRL picks Tyler up, the OAOAST Starbucks Doubleshot Replay(TM) shows Tyler Bryant throwing Spanish Fly over the top rope and out of the ring. COACH Watch this! Watch this! BAM! Oh man! That was amazing! I loved it! Simply amazing! That oughta teach the little runt where he belongs in wrestling! PRL with another knife-edge chop across Tyler Bryant’s chest! PRL shoves Tyler into a turnbuckle corner, and then taunts him. Bryant responds by chopping PRL across *his* chest! He does it again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") And again! ("WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!") COLE Tyler Bryant is in it to win it! Tyler Bryant Irish-whips Tha Puerto Rican into the ropes--PRL reverses--PR grabs Tyler. Overhead belly-to-belly suplex! COACH Yes! PRL covers Tyler. 1... 2... TYLER PUTS HIS LEFT FOOT ON THE BOTTOM ROPE! COLE That was instinct right there! Tyler doing anything he can to win this match! COACH Nice excuse for that DASTARDLY deed by Tyler! PRL glances angrily towards the referee. He picks Tyler up and punches him in the face with a Rock punch. P.R.L. whips "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant into the ropes--NO!--Tyler reverses--P.R. bounces off the ropes, and gets clotheslined by Tyler Bryant! COLE Tremendous clothesline from "Tremendous" Tyler! COACH Lame. Tyler Bryant stops to catch his breath, and then picks Tha Puerto Rican up. Tyler punches PR in the face! Tyler then takes Tha Puerto Rican over to a turnbuckle corner and slams his head on top of the top turnbuckle pad! Tyler then grabs P.R. and whips him into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline, but P.R. ducks, grabs Bryant from behind, and hoists him up, giving the member of D*LUX a German Suplex! Puerto then gets right back up and pounds his chest while screaming out, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE The arrogant Puerto Rican superstar in control of this match right now! COACH And that’s the way it’ll be for the rest of this match. PRL poses and laughs manically in the center of the ring...which is why he doesn’t notice when Spanish Fly climbs back onto the ring apron and leaps onto the top ring rope, springboarding off of it to deliver a dropkick to the back of Tha Puerto Rican! PRL flies out of the ring through the second rope thanks to that move! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COACH WHERE DID HE COME FROM!?!? COLE Spanish Fly with the cover! COACH STOP IT! STOP IT! ONE! TWO! THRE--KICK OUT! CROWD GROOOOAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN! COLE And Bryant kicks out just before the count of 3! COACH Oh Thank God. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Allah. Thank you Buddha. Thank you Vishnu! Ganesa. COLE Coach, if you thank all the Hindu gods, we’ll be here all night. Spanish Fly can’t believe that he only got a two count. He holds two fingers up as if to say, "I was this close!" But he has no time to mope, so he picks "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant up by his head and hits him with forearm shots to the face repeatedly. Fly whips Bryant into the ropes. Bryant reverses, and when Fly hits the ropes, PRL attacks him and pulls him out of the ring! COLE P.R. ain’t pleased with what Spanish Fly did to him earlier. COACH Serves him right, the little punk! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican slides underneath the bottom rope. He charges with a clothesline, but Tyler ducks, grabs PR from behind, and delivers a German Suplex on Tha Puerto Rican! "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT YEAH-UH~! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Spanish Fly leaps off the top rope with a missile dropkick on "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant! "YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" PRL and Tyler Bryant slowly crawl around the ring. PRL is breathing heavily, same as Tyler. Tyler goes to the outside to recover. Spanish Fly goes to pick Tha Puerto Rican up, but gets poked in the eyes! PRL attacks SF with Rock-style punches to the temple. Puerto grabs Spanish Fly by his left hand and whips him into the ropes--NO!--Spanish Fly reverses. PRL rests on the ropes. Spanish Fly charges forward...PRL grabs Spanish Fly...And Alley Oops him...OVER the top rope...AND ONTO "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT ON THE OUTSIDE! "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Spanish Fly sent over the top rope and onto Tyler Bryant! COACH Meh, if it eliminates Tyler from the match, then good job, Fly! Spanish Fly gets up. Tyler is still lying on the ground. Spanish Fly smiles as he raises his hands in the air. This gives PRL the perfect opportunity to grab Spanish Fly from behind and THROW him into a barricade! COACH This match is moving along perfectly! A PRL victory is only a few moments away! Having dealt with Fly, The Corporate Champ turns his attention to "Tremendous" Tyler. TPR grabs Tyler by his head, and throws him back into the ring. Puerto Rican grabs Tyler again, and takes him over to the ropes, where he places Tyler’s head on the second rope. PRL then drives his left knee into the back of Tyler’s neck. COLE P.R. on offense, just dominating Tyler Bryant right about now! "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" "P.R. SUCKS!" Tha Puerto Rican heads to the opposite ropes. He then charges forward, jumping up, and driving all of his weight into Tyler Bryant’s back! COLE What a move from Tha Puerto Rican! PRL poses, and then goes back to Tyler, choking him on the second rope. COLE Now come on now! This isn’t right! This isn’t right at all! PRL continues driving his left knee into the back of Tyler’s neck. He then grabs Tyler, and starts choking him from behind on the second rope. DOUBLE 6-1-9 FROM SPANISH FLY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111 COLE A double 6-1-9! From Fly to Bryant and PRL! Spanish Fly catches his breath, and then climbs the top rope. COLE Could it be time? Could it be time for the Fly Swatter? COACH Oh no! Look out PR! I don’t care about Tyler, but LOOK OUT P.R.! Spanish Fly is on the top rope. He waits for Tha Puerto Rican or Tyler Bryant to get close to him. He decides to target PRL. Fly leaps off the top rope for the FLY SWATTER... THAT MISSES~! COLE Oh! And Spanish Fly misses his finishing move! COACH That was a close one! PRL then bounces off the ropes, and delivers a seated dropkick right into Spanish Fly’s face (or mask in this case)! COACH That almost knocked his mask off! Get it? Because he wears a mask and it’s on his head-- COLE I get it, Coach. PRL gets up and laughs evilly. He does the "You can’t see me!" hand gesture. PRL turns around--- ---RIGHT INTO THE MERRY TYLER GORE SHOW FROM "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT~!!!!!!!!11111111111111111111111111111111111 COLE The Merry Tyler Gore Show! Tyler Bryant has just given Tha Puerto Rican his finishing maneuver! The crowd cheers loudly as "Tremendous" Tyler quickly covers Tha Puerto Rican. Referee Jimmy Korderas counts, along with the crowd. COACH Kick out! Kick out! KICK OUT! 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 3-- SPANISH FLY HITS TYLER BRYANT TO BREAK UP THE FALL! Spanish Fly rolls Tyler Bryant off of Tha Puerto Rican, and then covers Puerto himself! 1... 2... KICK OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! COLE No! No! No! Bryant kicked out! COACH Boo! I mean, yea! I mean, I don’t know! Spanish Fly slaps the mat in frustration! Spanish Fly picks Tha Puerto Rican up...and gets scratched in the eyes! PRL slowly (very slowly) gets up. Tha Puerto Rican punches Spanish Fly in the face several times. KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE NO! Spanish Fly escapes, and kicks PRL in the gut. Spanish Fly bounces off the ropes. Tha Puerto Rican grabs him, and lifts him up, only to get hit with a front dropkick from Spanish Fly! The front dropkick sends PRL stumbling right into the waiting arms of "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant, who gives PRL a back suplex OVER the top rope and onto the floor! COACH OH NO! PRL lies on the ground on the outside. COLE Oh my! Meanwhile, back in the ring, Spanish Fly charges forward towards "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant. Bryant goes for a clothesline, but Spanish Fly ducks, gets onto the second ring rope, springboards off of it, and gives "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant a hurricarana! COLE Hurricarana to Bryant! Spanish Fly has "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant covered! Jimmy Korderas counts. 1... 2... 2 1/2 2.9999999999999999999999999999999999999 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *DING DING DING* (8:31) "YYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE He got him! Fly got BOTH of them! COACH DAMN IT! COLE Language! COACH Right. COLE What an upset! BUFFER Here is your winner...SPANISHHHHHHHHHHHH FLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! Fly gets his hands raised, only to get clotheslined from behind by Tha Puerto Rican! P.R. proceeds to kick Spanish Fly while he’s down, to the crowds boos. COLE Oh! And now Tha Puerto Rican is back inside the ring! He’s attacking Spanish Fly! COACH Hey, Spanish Fly wanted to win, now he’s gotta pay the price! COLE What? PRL stomps on Spanish Fly some more. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant gets up. He slowly walks over to where Tha Puerto Rican is at. PRL glances over at Tyler, and motions for him to do something. Tyler is hesitant at first, but then nods at PRL...and starts stomping on Spanish Fly too! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE I don’t believe this! Tyler Bryant is HELPING Tha Puerto Rican! After all that he’s done! Why? COACH It’s called divide and conquer, Mikey. Severely weaken Spanish Fly, so that both D*LUX AND PR/Popick have a better shot at winning the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles this Sunday! COLE Still, this doesn’t seem right at all! COACH That’s because you’ve never wrestled. COLE Neither have you. COACH I’ve wrestled a couple of matches. PR and Tyler beat on Spanish Fly for a bit, but that all changes when Colombian Heat comes running down the entrance ramp and enters the ring to help his buddy! COLE Colombian Heat is here! Colombian Heat goes after Tyler Bryant first, punching him repeatedly in his face! The punches take Tyler to a turnbuckle corner. Heat then goes to work on Tha Puerto Rican! Heat takes Puerto over to another turnbuckle and unleashes a combination of chops and punches all over PRL’s body! COLE Colombian Heat going to work on one of the men that he’ll meet this Sunday! Colombian Heat continues punching Tha Puerto Rican...until Stephen Joseph Popick enters the ring! But he gets knocked to the mat several times! Heat goes back to work on Tyler Bryant, unleashing a flurry of martial arts kicks all over Bryant’s body, culminating in a jumping back kick that sends Tyler Bryant slumping to the mat, with his head resting on the bottom turnbuckle pad! COLE Colombian Heat is on FIRE~! And oh my! Oh my! Tyler maybe in trouble here! The crowd comes alive as they know what is going to happen next. And indeed, Colombian Heat heads to the opposite turnbuckle, does the "low-rider" hand gesture, and then charges forward...BUT IS INTERRUPTED BY "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE! COLE Shayne Brave has arrived! All six men that will compete in the Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles are in this ring right now! COACH We’re getting a preview of Anglepalooza this Sunday, Cole! Colombian Heat engages in a slugfest with "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Stephen Joseph Popick has picked Spanish Fly up and has started engaging in a slugfest with him too! PRL beats on Tyler Bryant in the turnbuckle! The crowd is going nuts! COLE All six men! They’re fighting in the ring now! COACH Get ’em PR! Get all of them! COLE We’ve got three separate battles going on at the same time! The brawl continues in the ring! Colombian Heat’s punches stagger "Showtime" Shayne. Heat takes a few steps back, and then charges forward, clotheslining Shayne over the top rope and onto the floor! COLE Shayne is out of the ring! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant rests on the bottom turnbuckle. Colombian Heat gets into a slugfest with Stephen Joseph Popick! PRL battles it out with Spanish Fly! Tha Puerto Rican whips Spanish Fly into the ropes. Spanish Fly fires back with a Rube Goldberg Bulldog! Colombian Heat’s punches stagger Popick. Heat grabs Popick and gives him the Pimp Juice! Heat and Fly look at each other, and smile. Colombian Heat gets onto the mat and applies the HIGHER CALLING on Stephen Joseph Popick! At the same time, Spanish Fly grabs PR’s legs, puts his right leg in between them, crosses PR’s legs over it, and then turns around, kneeling down to apply the SHARPSHOOTER on Tha Puerto Rican! "YYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Look at this! Look at what we’re seeing! PRL and Popick are being put in their OWN submission holds! COACH OH THIS IS EMBARASSING! I CAN’T WATCH! COLE How humiliating must this be for P.R./Popick!?!?!? COACH VERY HUMILATING! Colombian Heat pulls back on Popick’s arms, giving the Most Hated Man In The OAOAST even greater pain. Spanish Fly pulls back on the Sharpshooter. PRL screams out in pain! COLE PR and Popick, is this what’s going to happen to them this Sunday at Anglepalooza? COACH I HOPE NOT! PRL TAPS OUT! He taps out due to the pain of the Sharpshooter! COACH Oh this sucks! PRL being put in the Sharpshooter by a midget! OH GOD! COLE It’s happening right now right before your very eyes! The HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions are in control! D*LUX come back and break up the submission holds! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant beats on Colombian Heat, while "Showtime" Shayne Brave takes on Spanish Fly! COLE Now D*LUX are back! Tyler takes Colombian Heat over to a turnbuckle corner and beats on him. Shayne does the same with Spanish Fly. COLE We’ve got a real donnybrook going on in the ring! Colombian Heat and Tyler battle it out in one corner. Shayne takes it to Fly in another corner. PR and Popick have left the ring. COLE This is a wild mess out here! We’ve got teams fighting left and right! It’s hard to tell what’s going on! COACH Get security out here! Tell them to stop this! COLE I don’t think security will do any good. There’s just too many things going on at once! COACH Lousy security. D*LUX and Heat/Fly continue fighting it out. UNTIL, PRL shows up and hits Shayne Brave in the back of the head with his spray-painted briefcase! COLE Oh! What a shot! COACH Yes! Here comes PR and Popick to save us! Puerto Rican hits Shayne Brave in his back with the black spray-painted briefcase several times! As he does this, Popick beats on Tyler Bryant. Popick grabs Bryant by his right arm, and then whips him towards Tha Puerto Rican-- *WHAM!* --WHO SLAMS THE BRIEFCASE ACROSS TYLER’S HEAD! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE PRL and Popick have knocked out D*LUX! COACH After this, their names should be D*SUX, am I right? COLE Shut up, Coach. Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly watched all of this. After D*LUX get knocked out, Colombian Heat charges forward, right into a briefcase shot to the gut by Tha Puerto Rican! Afterwards, KICK WHAM CORPORATE NIGHTMARE! COLE Oh my! The Corporate Nightmare! PRL has just given Colombian Heat the Corporate Nightmare! COACH Ooh! That’s gotta hurt! HA! HA! Colombian Heat lies on the mat, unconscious. Meanwhile, Stephen Joseph Popick grabs Spanish Fly in a Full Nelson on the second turnbuckle. Popick jumps off the second rope, pulling Spanish Fly over in a Full Nelson Suplex, but then shifts his body weight so that he lands on his ass to give Fly the Stone Cold Stunner! COLE Finality! Finality from Stephen Joseph Popick! COACH Oh yeah! Way to go, Popick! Way to show those scrubs whose boss! COLE Colombian Heat is down! Spanish Fly is down! "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant is down! "Showtime" Shayne Brave is down! COACH And look who are the last men standing, your next HI-YAH Tag Team Champions, Stephen Joseph Popick and "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican! PRL does the McMahon SNEER~! and poses in the ring. Popick laughs manically. PRL smiles evilly. The crowd boos the loudest they’ve been all match, pissed off over what PRL and Popick have just done. PRL laughs manically himself. The camera cuts to a close-up of Heat, Fly, Tyler, and Shayne still knocked out thanks to P.R./Popick. COLE Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick have left their opponents for this Sunday laying! What is going to be the end result of all of this? COACH The crowning of new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, HELLO!? COLE PR and Popick are in control now, but will they be in control this Sunday? COACH Why do you keep asking questions? OF COURSE THEY WILL BE! GOD! Sometimes, you can be a real pain in the neck sometimes, you know that? COLE As long as it makes you miserable, my mission is accomplished. PRL and Popick look at the damage they’ve left. They high five each other. The crowd boos loudly. "Know Your Role ’99" starts playing. The camera shows numerous close-ups of all the victims. PRL takes his black spray-painted briefcase, and leaves the ring with Popick, who holds the ropes for him to exit. Popick puts his left arm around PRL’s shoulders and tells him what a great job he did, while PRL just nods and smiles a wide evil smile on his face. COLE Well, Spanish Fly got the victory, but it is PRL AND Popick who are left standing! And it can be argued that they have the momentum going into Anglepalooza this Sunday! COACH They DO have the momentum going into Anglepalooza this Sunday! The match, and the belts, are theirs for the taking! If you ask me, you will see new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions this Sunday. COLE Well, nobody asked you, Coach. COACH Bite me, Cole! COLE Let’s take a look at the replays for this match. The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen. Cut to highlights from this match starting with the double 6-1-9. COACH Okay. So, Fly struck big with that double 6-1-9, I’ll admit that was pretty cool. But then, Spanish Fly went for the Fly Swatter, and missed. This led to PRL getting hit with The Merry Tyler Gore Show, but luckily, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but luckily Spanish Fly saved him. Then the little booger had to escape from the Corporate Nightmare, which led to PRL getting backdropped OVER the top rope to the floor. The poor guy. Spanish Fly did a springboard hurricarana from the second rope. 1-2-3. Spanish Fly wins. But PR and Popick get the last laugh! The OAOAST HeldDOWN~! logo flashes across the screen again. PRL and Popick are walking up the entrance ramp, with PRL holding his briefcase with his left hand as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. The crowd boos. Stephen Joseph Popick and P.R.L. laugh evilly and gloat over what they did. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and D*LUX are still knocked out in the ring. COLE Indeed, they did. PRL and Stephen Joseph have left their Anglepalooza opponents, including the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, laying. COACH So much for being ’great’ Champions. This gets an A + on the ass-kicking scale if I do say so myself. COLE PRL and Popick may have gotten the last word tonight, but will they be able to get the last word AND the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles this Sunday night? It’s going to be one hell of a match! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick vs. D*LUX vs. the Champions Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly. Will P.R. and Popick get back the Titles they say belong to them? Will D*LUX get some revenge by winning the Titles that they had STOLEN from them at November Reign? Will it be a short title reign for Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly? All three teams have held the belts, and all three teams want to walk out of Anglepalooza as the HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions! PRL raises his hands on the entrance ramp. Popick is already on the entrance stage. He applauds PRL. The crowd boos. COLE Fans, thanks for tuning in tonight on the last HeldDOWN~! before Anglepalooza! We hope you’ve enjoyed all this exciting OAOAST action! We are now just 72 hours away from the start of The Road to AngleMania! The Lethal Rumble Match is this Sunday! Zack Malibu vs. Bruce Career vs. Career is this Sunday! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles is this Sunday! All this and much, much more this Sunday at Anglepalooza! For Jonathan Coachman, I’m Michael Cole, saying so long and we’ll see you this Sunday for Anglepalooza. SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY! BUY! BUY! BUY! ORDER NOW! "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick laugh manically. PRL raises his black spray-painted briefcase over his head one more time, and then leaves through the sliding doors. The crowd boos. The camera does close-ups of Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, "Showtime" Shayne Brave, and "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant all unconscious. The last image we see is of both members of D*LUX, Spanish Fly, and Colombian Heat all lying on the mat knocked out as "Know Your Role ’99" continues playing. Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and "Showtime" Shayne Brave start moving their arms and legs as the credits roll and we fade out. [b]FADE OUT[/b]

My match is DONE! I'm posting it in GCF right now.

The camera cuts to the backstage area where Colombian Heat is standing by, chatting it up with some of the OAOAST's very best: Bill Neilson, Art Simpson, Barry Horowitz, Reno Riggins, and Paul Roma. Okay, so they're all jobbers, but work with me here! Heat is wearing a New England Patriots Tom Brady jersey (CHEAP HEAT!), a Boston Red Sox baseball cap, tilted to the side of course (CHEAP HEAT #2!), and baggy jean shorts (CHEAP HE--oh wait). He's also wearing black Adidas sneakers, a watch on his right arm, a silver medallion around his neck, and his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt around his waist. We catch up with Heat in mid-conversation. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, yo. It ain't no thing but a chicken wing, you know what I'm sayin'? We's pumped those two bustas all over dat ring. Pssshh. It was easy as pie, a'ight? JOBBERS WOW! GREAT STORY HEAT! AWESOME! YOU ROCK! YEAH! HEAT Chyeah. We beat dem two suckas last week. And now, we is going to continue beatin' 'em this Sunday at Anglepalooza in tha Triple Threat Tag Team Match. An' if those two D*LUX cats want a piece of us, then they can come get it! Cuz me and Spanish Fly ain't backing down from nobody! We is gonna defend these Titles with pride, ya heard dat! JOBBERS YEAH! WOW! GREAT! YOU RULE HEAT! YEAH! Suddenly, Stephen Joseph Popick walks into the shot, and he is NOT in a happy mood. The jobbers get the hint, and take off, not wanting to incur the wrath of The Most Hated Man In The OAOAST. The crowd boos loudly. Colombian Heat sees the jobbers leave, then turns around. He smiles at Popick. COLOMBIAN HEAT Yo! What's poppin', Popick? STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK Don't you use your ghetto slang on me, boy! I am SO not in the mood! HEAT Why? You still pissed dat me an' Spanish Fly took you out last Thursday, and took yo' titles? POPICK That first fall should not have counted! You two CHEATED! The match should have ended in a tie, and WE should still be Tag Team Champions! But, I'm not gonna cry about it. There'll be no need to bring me Kleenex. Me and Puerto are going to right what went wrong this Sunday at Anglepalooza, when we take OUR HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles back FAIR and SQUARE! HEAT It'll be the first time youse won something fair and square. HA! HA! POPICK You know what my problem with you is? HEAT No. Wot's dat? POPICK Tha Puerto Rican, he--he strives to be the best. He works hard every single day. He, and people like him, they study hard, they train hard, they absorb everything they can to better themselves, so that they can make something of their lives, and help their people for the better. But then you, and people like you, come along AND RUIN EVERYTHING! It's because of people like you that Latinos get a bad rap in this country! It's because of people like you that the youth of America are the dumbest they've ever been! HEAT Yo, I ain't American. I is Colombian! POPICK Then, let me rephrase that. It's because of people like you that youth culture is the dumbest it's ever been! People like you give people like Tha Puerto Rican a bad name! HEAT Atleast I'm true to mah'self! Unlike Tha Puerto Rican! POPICK What are you talking about? HEAT He's frontin'! PR ain't really like dat! He's actin' all CORPORATE for yo' approval! He wants to be World Champion so bad dat he'll do anything, even act like a different person, to get tha belt! POPICK I don't know what you are talking about Heat. Seriously, I don't. I never understand you! You speak some weird form of Ebonics mixed with stupidity! You make me sick. You, and your stupid hip-hop entrance music! HEAT Don't you come to the ring to a hip-hop song? POPICK The hip-hop I listen to is INTELLIGENT and THOUGHTFUL. I don't come to the ring to no Lil' Jon song! HEAT You should. You're really missing out. YEEEEAAAAHHHHHHH-UH~! POPICK STOP THAT! Why can't you be like me? Why can't you change? Why can't you become Corporate? HEAT Yo, I ain't down wit dat. POPICK Change your clothes. Change the way you speak. Change your attitude. Be a better person. Be CORPORATE! HEAT I ain't conformin' for nobody! "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" POPICK *Sigh* You know, you really disappoint me, Heat. You can be SO much more! HEAT Hey dawg, I can act different. I just don't want to! This is who I really is! I'm keepin' it real! I ain't no poser! Dis is tha real me! I can speak like you. It ain't no hard thing to do. Watch! Heat takes off Popick's glasses and puts them on. POPICK Hey! COLOMBIAN HEAT (speaking in a stereotypical "nerdy white guy" voice) Hello there! Pleased to meet you! My name is Colombian Heat! Why I love what you done with the place! Why don't we go outside later and drink some tea and play cricket? Then, we can read the New York Times and listen to NPR while we discuss economics and Shakesphere plays! POPICK You see! You see? You can do it! You can speak like that! Why don't you do that all the time? HEAT (regular voice) Yo, youse can kiss my Colombian ass if youse thinkin' I'ma gonna speak like dat all the time! The crowd cheers! Popick acts offended by this comment. HEAT An' anyway, I's wasn't done yet. Ahem! ("nerdy white guy voice"): My name is Stephen Joseph Popick! I'm a big four-eyed lame-o! And I wear the same stupid sweater every single day and I am going to (slowly reverting back to his real voice) get mah candy ass kicked this Sunday by Colombian Heat an' his homie, Spanish Fly! The crowd cheers again. Heat hands Popick his glasses back. Popick refuses to put them on. He just looks at them with disgust. POPICK Ah Heat, so young and naieve. You have no idea what you're in for this Sunday night. I hope you enjoy these next four days, because your HI-YAH World Tag Team Title reign ain't going to last much longer. I GUARANTEE it! HEAT Ooh! I'ma SOOOOO scared! (Heat does the Scott Hall "wiggly fingers" taunt) POPICK Keep on making jokes, Heat! Because me and PRL are going to bring you, Spanish Fly, and D*LUX back to reality at Anglepalooza when we make you all realize that we ARE the best damn tag team in the world! See you Sunday, Heat! Stephen Joseph Popick walks away, still looking disgusted at Colombian Heat putting his eyeglasses on. Colombian Heat watches him go with a dirty look on his face. The crowd boos. HEAT An' me and Spanish Fly are gonna make you, PRL, and D*LUX feel the Heat UP IN THIS-- "BI-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATCH~!" The crowd cheers. Colombian Heat spits in Popick's general direction. COLOMBIAN HEAT Punk! Colombian Heat shines his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt, and then walks away, with a swagger in his step. HEAT Gonna get things poppin' at Anglepalooza! Gonna go buckwild in the ring this Sunday! YEAH, YEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (Cut to Sofa Central) COLE Colombian Heat looks to be ready for Anglepalooza this Sunday! The winner of the Triple Threat Tag Team Match is up in the air! Nobody knows which team will come out on top! COACH PR/Popick of course! COLE I don't know Coach. All three teams in the match this coming Sunday have held the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles sometime in the past three months! They all know what it's like to be Champions, but only one team can wear the gold after Anglepalooza! COACH It's going to be P.R./Popick. They've got that Championship edge. They know what it's like to be in big title matches unlike Heat/Fly OR D*LUX! And that experience will help them win back what is RIGHTFULLY THEIRS this Sunday at Anglepalooza! They were robbed last Thursday, but they will get some payback Sunday night! The match-up graphic for the PR-Popick/D*LUX/Heat-Fly Triple Threat Tag Team Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship appears on screen. The classic Royal Rumble theme song plays in the background. COLE (V.O.) It's going to be one hell of a match this Sunday at Anglepalooza! Triple Threat Tag Team Match for HI-YAH Tag Team Championship gold. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick vs. D*LUX vs. the defending champions Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly! And coming up later tonight, a little preview of what's in store this Sunday as Tha Puerto Rican takes on "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant and Spanish Fly in a Triple Threat Match that's our main event for this evening's HeldDOWN~!. That's still to come later tonight! (Cut back to Sofa Central and Double C.) COLE (CONT'D) But for now...

Name Princess Stacey Real name Stacey Robertson Nicknames Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew, The Princess, The Green-Eyed Goddess Age 20 Height 5'2" Weight 115 lbs. Hometown Tampa, Florida Alignment (heel, face, tweener) Heel Stable affiliation (if any) Princess of The Lightning Crew Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.) She doesn't have a wrestling style. She hasn't even been trained yet. Theme music "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.) "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado starts playing. The AngleTron lights up with the words PRINCESS STACEY in pink cursive font. The crowd starts booing. Princess Stacey comes out with a look of disgust on her face. She has her left hand on her left hip and a sneer on her face. Stacey points to the tiara on the top of her head, and then walks to the ring, jawing with the fans along the way. She laughs manically as "Maneater" continues playing. Princess Stacey climbs the ring steps, wipes her shoes on the ring apron, and then enters the ring under the second rope. Stacey stretches her arms out and walks around the ring, an arrogant smirk on her gorgeous face. The crowd boos loudly. Stacey does the "look at my body" hand gesture. Princess Stacey stands near the ropes and does The Lightning Crew Salute. She then taunts the fans at ringside and smiles evilly as "Maneater" by Nelly Furtado dies down. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc) Tiara on her head. Diamond earrings. Sometimes, she'll wear sunglasses, but most of the time, she'll leave her eyes uncovered so that everyone can get a good look at her hyptnotizing green eyes. Ring attire WHEN WRESTLING: Blue sports bra with black trim. Black short tights with PRINCESS written on the rear in pink cursive font, with a small diamond used to dot the I. Black elbow pads. Black knee pads. Black boots. Gold necklace with her name on it. WHEN NOT WRESTLING: Princess Stacey loves fashion, so she wears alot of stylish clothes. Since joining up with Vitamin X and The Lightning Crew, her wardrobe has gotten bigger and better. And no matter what she wears, she'll always have her tiara on her head. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2) N/A Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.) Slap across the face Basic moveset Again, she's not a wrestler. She hasn't even been trained yet. Manager/valet/sidekick Vitamin X. Although sometimes, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez will accompany her to the ring. Other times, Mr. Boricua and/or Cuban Wall will also accompany her to the ring. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures -Arrogant smirk -The McMahon SNEER~! -Sneer -Evil laugh -Looks at her nails when she's bored or unimpressed with something, then does a deep sigh -During matches, at some points, she'll stop the match to check her hair -Poses by stretching her arms out and laughing manically -Sticks her ass out and points to it -The Lightning Crew Salute History/Background/Career Highlights Stacey Francessa Robertson was born and raised in Tampa, Florida. She wasn't a much of a wrestling fan growing up. Oh sure, she watched some wrestling during the WWF Attitude era like everybody else was doing, but professional wrestling had never been one of her passions. That all changed when she met Colombian Heat at a bar back in November of 2005. The two started dating a month later. Heat had been wrestling in OAOVW, but Stacey insisted that he return to the OAOAST to continue his feud with "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican. Heat listened, and on the December 1, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Colombian Heat made his return to the OAOAST. In October of 2006, after almost a year of watching at home, Stacey Robertson began appearing at ringside in the front row to watch her boyfriend at work. In December of that year, Stacey officially became Colombian Heat's manager. It was during Stacey's first match as Heat's manager, on the December 7, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, that Vitamin X, the Financial Consultant for The Lightning Crew, began to show an interest in her. Showing up during the middle of the Colombian Heat/Stephen Joseph Popick match, Vitamin X proceeded to smell Stacey's red hair, and then try to lift her skirt up. That got Stacey's, and Heat's, attention. The X-Man quickly returned to the back, but he had made his intentions known. Vitamin X became more and more aggressive in his quest to win Stacey's heart. After Stacey was knocked unconscious unintentionally by Colombian Heat during the Heat and Spanish Fly vs. D*LUX match for the #1 Contendership to the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship on the December 21, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, VX showed up and took Stacey to the back. Afterwards, X unbuttoned Stacey's top and was only stopped from going any further by Colombian Heat. The next week, X tried to apologize to Stacey by giving her flowers, but then tried to force himself on her. Luckily for Stacey, she was saved by Colombian Heat. Tired of always being chased away by Heat, Vitamin X begged Tha Puerto Rican to help him win Stacey's love. So, later that same night, Colombian Heat took on Mr. Boricua in a match where if Mr. Boricua won, then Stacey Robertson would have to spend New Year's Eve with The Lightning Crew and specifically, Vitamin X. Despite fighting with all his heart, a flying chairshot from VX put Heat down for the count, and thus, Stacey Robertson was dragged away from her man and forced to spend New Year's Eve with The Lightning Crew. Stacey was miserable for the next four days, as she was forced against her will to be with The Lightning Crew. It all culminated on New Year's Eve when The Lightning Crew held a party in a hotel suite to celebrate the end of 2006 and the beginning of 2007. Prior to midnight, Vitamin X gave Stacey a tiara, and a drunk PRL gave Stacey a contract to join The Lightning Crew. Stacey, despite being miserable for the past four days, read the contract, and seemed to be pretty interested in what was written on it. After the ball dropped in Times Square, Vitamin X took Stacey to a motel, just minutes before Colombian Heat came storming into The Lightning Crew's hotel suite to look for his girl. When Heat asked Stacey how it was like being with Vitamin X, Stacey said that Vitamin X was a "gentleman". This set the stage for what would take place on the January 4, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Colombian Heat took on "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican in a No Disqualification Match with the stipulations being that if PRL won, then Stacey Robertson would become a member of The Lightning Crew; however if Colombian Heat won, then Stacey Robertson would put a restraining order on The Lightning Crew, and specifically Vitamin X. The match went all over the arena, including a stop over at Sofa Central, where Colombian Heat beat on Vitamin X for a little bit. After a hard fought battle, Colombian Heat gave his former best friend the Colombian Necktie and pinned him, finally beating Tha Puerto Rican in a one-on-one match, and freeing his girlfriend from the clutches of The Lightning Crew. Or so we thought. Because right after the match ended, Stacey Robertson shocked the world when she slapped Colombian Heat across his face, and then had Vitamin X low blow him. The Lightning Crew did a beatdown on Heat, and afterwards, it was revealed that Stacey Robertson and Vitamin X were now a couple. The heartbroken Colombian Heat watched as his now ex-girlfriend made out with his arch-enemy right in front of his very eyes. Stacey Robertson was now a member of The Lightning Crew, and Vitamin X had finally won Stacey's heart. The next week, on the January 11, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Stacey Robertson revealed her new look. Gone was the sweet and innocent look that Stacey once had, and in its place was a sexy, sultry look befitting of a girl who was no longer an angel. PRL completed the makeover by announcing that Stacey Robertson would now be known as Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew. Vitamin X and Princess Stacey were now the prince and princess of The Lightning Crew respectively, while PRL and Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez were the king and queen. Later that night, Stacey came out to the ring and confronted her now ex-boyfriend, Colombian Heat. Stacey revealed that the reason she joined The Lightning Crew was because Vitamin X had showed her a world that she never knew of...but wanted to be apart of. Vitamin X gave Stacey the best the world had to offer, and it was after experiencing the best that Stacey decided that a life with Colombian Heat was a life that she did not want. The Princess went on to reveal that she did indeed have sex with Vitamin X in the motel on New Year's Eve (after lying about it the week before), and that the sex with Prince Vitamin was better than any sex that she ever had with Heat. Heat interpreted all of this to mean that Stacey was a gold digger. Princess Stacey was offended by this comment, and it was only made worst when Colombian Heat started a gold digger chant in the crowd. The chants caused Stacey to break down and cry and leave the ring screaming and crying her eyes out. Fortunately, Princess Stacey got some revenge later on in the night, giving Heat a low blow, which helped Stacey's boyfriend, Vitamin X, beat Colombian Heat for the first time in his career. Stacey laugh manically as Colombian Heat lied on the mat, holding his balls in pain, a defeated man. Princess Stacey is now the manager for Vitamin X, and also the manager for X's tag team with Cuban Wall, Brains & Brawn. Stacey is not a wrestler, and would prefer never to have to get into the ring. Still, if/when the time comes when she has to stepped into the squared circle for a match, you can bet that The Princess will do her very best...to make sure that her hair doesn't get messed up, or that she breaks a nail, or, most importantly, that she doesn't get the crap beaten out of her. No matter what, though, you can be sure that Vitamin X and The Lightning Crew will always have her back as Princess Stacey tries to survive in the wacky world of professional wrestling. ____________________________________ ____________________________________ ____________________________________ Name Thomas Rodriguez Age 33 Height 5'7" Weight 135 lbs. Hometown Burbank, California Alignment (heel, face, tweener) Cowardly heel Stable affiliation (if any) The Official Referee for The Lightning Crew Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.) He doesn't have a wrestling style. He's a referee who only wrestles once in a blue moon. Theme music "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.) Walks to the ring with the rest of The Lightning Crew Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc) Sunglasses Ring attire WHEN NOT WRESTLING: Doo-rag on his head. Referee shirt with LC spray-painted onto the front in blue. Black dress pants. Black dress shoes. Gold chain around his neck. WHEN WRESTLING: Blue singlet. Long blue tights with PUERTO written down the left leg in big white blocky letters, and RICO written down the right leg in big white blocky letters. Blue elbow pads. Puerto Rican flag wrist bands. PUERTO RICAN written on the rear in big white blocky letters. Blue boots. Gold chain around his neck. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2) Roll up Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.) Low Blow Stomp Poke in the eyes Basic moveset Whatever a green, inexperienced wrestler's is Manager/valet/sidekick Mr. Boricua. Although sometimes, it'll be Cuban Wall, and other times, other members of The Lightning Crew. Thomas never comes to the ring by himself, because he is a coward who is always afraid that he is going to get his ass kicked. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures -Cocky smirk -Gets on his knees and begs for mercy -Sneer -Evil laugh -Tells people that he is a referee, therefore people should RESPECT HIS AUTHORI-TAH~! -Flips the crowd the middle finger -Runs his mouth. Alot. -The Lightning Crew Salute History/Background/Career Highlights Thomas Rodriguez was born into a middle class family in Burbank, California. He lived a normal life, until one day, when he was 17-years-old, he watched WWF Superstars, and became a wrestling fan for life. Thomas dreamed of becoming a professional wrestler, but realizing that he was too small and too terrified to make it in the business, he settled on just being a referee. Thomas refereed, and also was an announcer and an interviewer, for several different organizations for 11 years, before joining up with the One And Only AngleSault Thread in its inaugural year in 2002. Thomas was a referee for some of the most important matches in OAOAST history, including the Wargames match at Zero Hour in February 2003 which saw the end of the aWo. In October 2003, Puerto Rican Lightning met Thomas and asked him to join The Lightning Crew, promising him fame, fortune, and women. Rodriguez, apparently gullible enough to believe PRL, accepted, and Thomas revealed his Lightning Crew allegiance on the October 7, 2003 edition of IntenseZone during the "Shooter" Jay Darring/Puerto Rican Lightning OAOAST North American Championship Match. With the referee for the match knocked out, Thomas made his way into the ring, presumably to make the three count and give Shooter Jay the win and the Title. However, Thomas stopped his count at two, and gave Darring a middle finger salute, then lifted his referee shirt up to reveal a Lightning Crew T-shirt underneath. After being saved by a debuting Colombian Heat, Thomas Rodriguez made the three count and gave PRL the pinfall, making himself the most hated referee in the OAOAST in the process. Since then, Thomas Rodriguez has done well as the Official Referee for The Lightning Crew. He has helped PRL in many of his matches, and given him the victory for some of them, including PRL's big win over Colombian Heat at Anglepalooza 2006. Thomas has also helped several other Lightning Crew members get wins. Rodriguez has also been beaten up many times, but that still hasn't stopped him from doing his job, which is to make sure that The Lightning Crew comes out on top at all costs. Thomas played a big part in "The Conspiracy" that saw "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick win the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles from D*LUX. Thomas repeated what he did to "Shooter" Jay Darring in his debut on IntenseZone in 2003, making the three count only to stop at two and flip two middle fingers at a shocked "Showtime" Shayne Brave. Thomas had, just three days earlier, done a fast count to give Cuban Wall a tainted victory over Tha Puerto Rican, but that was soon revealed to be all apart of the plan at November Reign on November 27, 2006. Rodriguez has rarely wrestled, by his own choice. He did main event the March 31, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!, losing to Panther in a Steel Cage Match. Thomas is a big coward, known to run his mouth, but never ever back it up. He believes that being an OAOAST referee gives him the power to do whatever he wants, but since he is only 5'7" and weighs 135 lbs., nobody ever listens to him, and most of the time, Thomas gets beat up for his troubles. Despite his obvious connections to The Lightning Crew, Thomas Rodriguez is still an official OAOAST referee, some say due to the influence of one Stephen Joseph Popick on the OAOAST Board Of Directors. And despite being told otherwise at Anglepalooza 2006 on January 29, 2006, Thomas Rodriguez has been an official OAOAST referee uninterrupted since he joined the company in 2002. Thomas will continue serving as a loyal member of The Lightning Crew for as long as he possibly can, helping his boss and other Lightning Crew members out in any way possible. Thomas doesn't have to worry about improving his wrestling skills, because he knows that as long as he is a member of The LC, he will always have backup in one form or another, that cowardly bastard.

-TRIPLE THREAT MATCH "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican vs. Spanish Fly vs. "Tremendous" Tyler Bryant Main event, please? -Stephen Joseph Popick and Colombian Heat segment

Brains & Brawn Name Vitamin X Nicknames The X-Man, Prince Vitamin Age 24 Height 5'8" Weight 248 lbs. Hometown Miami, Florida Alignment (heel, face, tweener) Cocky, arrogant, annoying heel just like Tha Puerto Rican Stable affiliation (if any) The Financial Consultant, Second-In-Command, and Prince of The Lightning Crew; One-half of Brains & Brawn Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.) Technical/Power Theme music "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys Brains & Brawn Theme Music: "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by Beastie Boys Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.) The fans hear the sound of a cash register opening up. It is followed by Vitamin X saying, "Come and take your Vitamin X." "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys starts playing, which causes the crowd to boo loudly. Vitamin X comes out, doing the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. He tries to get the crowd fired up, but fails miserably. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as he walks to the ring, bobbing his head to the beat of his entrance song. He jaws with the fans, and then hops onto a second turnbuckle, and then crosses his arms into a X. Afterwards, Vitamin X gets off the second turnbuckle and into the ring, then he does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle again while he waits for his match to start and "Bling-Bling" by The B.G. featuring The Big Tymers and Hot Boys dies down. Sometimes, he'll also dance. Badly, I might add. Note: When X is with another male Lightning Crew member, he will do The Lightning Crew Salute with said member *after* he hops into the ring, but *before* he does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle. Brains & Brawn Entrance Style: The fans hear the sound of a cash register opening up. It is followed by Vitamin X saying, "Come and take your Vitamin X." "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by the Beastie Boys begins playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. Once the rapping starts, The Lightning Crew Mobile, driven by Cuban Wall, pulls into the arena, next to the entrance. Princess Stacey dances seductively on the hood of the car, while Vitamin X and Cuban Wall bob their heads to the beat of their entrance song. VX and Wall get out of the car and raise their hands in the air. The crowd boos some more. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air. Princess Stacey gets off the hood of The Lightning Crew Mobile and directs Brains & Brawn to the ring. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as the three of them walk to the ring, with Cuban Wall's eyes focused soley on the squared circle, with a serious expression on his face. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, while Vitamin X jaws with the fans. Cuban Wall enters the ring over the top rope, while Vitamin X hops onto a second turnbuckle, and then crosses his arms into a X. While X does this, Cuban Wall just stands in the middle of the ring, giving the fans a cold hard stare while "Rhymin' & Stealin'" continues playing. Vitamin X hops off the second turnbuckle and into the ring. X, Wall, and Stacey stand in the center of the ring and do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. Afterwards, Vitamin X receives a kiss from Stacey while Wall jaws with the fans. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises his hands in the air, then gets off the second turnbuckle and shadow boxes for a bit. Meanwhile, Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as he waits for Brains & Brawn's match to start while "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by the Beastie Boys dies down. Sometimes, he'll also dance. Badly. He might even sometimes ask Cuban Wall if he would like to join him, but Wall will threaten to punch him in the face, and that'll be the end of that. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc) Sunglasses Ring attire WHEN WRESTLING: White Lightning Crew T-shirt. Over the shirt is either a dark blue football jersey or baseball jersey (it varies from match to match) personalized with VITAMIN X on the front written in white cursive font, and "THE X-MAN" written on the back in white blocky letters. For pay-per-views, and special occasions, Vitamin X will have something else written on the back of his jersey that mocks his opponent(s). VX written in white blocky letters on the left sleeve. Black elbow pads. Dark blue sweatpants with a small OAOAST logo on the right pant leg. Black Reebok sneakers. Gold chain around his neck. ATTIRE #2: White Lightning Crew T-shirt. Over the shirt is a black baseball jersey personalized with VITAMIN X on the front written in white cursive font, and "THE PRINCE" written on the back in white blocky letters. VX written in white blocky letters on the right sleeve. Black elbow pads. Black sweatpants with a small OAOAST logo on the right pant leg. Black Adidas sneakers. Gold chain around his neck. WHEN NOT WRESTLING: Vitamin X, like Tha Puerto Rican, likes to wear the best clothes money can buy. Except, since he is more experienced with money, his closet is filled with more nice clothes than PRL's. Suits and ties, dress shoes, $500 Rolex watches, gold chains. All of which are apart of Vitamin X's regular non-wrestling attire. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2) The X-Clamation Point (Vitamin X lifts his opponent up into a Torture Rack position. He walks around the ring with his opponent on his shoulders for a little bit, and then throws his opponent off of his shoulders, giving the unlucky opponent a neckbreaker on the way down. Sometimes, he'll follow The X-Clamation Point with the Leap Of Faith.) Leap Of Faith (Flying Elbow Drop) Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.) The Overdose (Double-armed suplex into a neckbreaker) The X Spot (Vitamin X kicks the opponent in the midsection, then he springboards off the second rope and hits a DDT. Like Chris Jericho's Lionsault, but instead of a moonsault, it's a DDT.) Snap Suplex Lethal Injection (Modified STF which is also Vitamin X's submission finisher) Floatover DDT Punch, punch, Shane-O-Mac Shuffle, then a third punch, which knocks the opponent down Basic moveset Chops Fast Kicks Spear/Football Tackle Basic ground grappling THE ARMBAR~! Manager/valet/sidekick Princess Stacey. Sometimes, other Lightning Crew members accompany him to the ring. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures -"Because I am just THAT much better than YOU!" -"Come and take your Vitamin X." -"BOO-YAH~!" -The McMahon SNEER~! -Shane-O-Mac Shuffle -The Lightning Crew Salute History/Background/Career Highlights Quite possibly the breakout star of The Lightning Crew, Vitamin X began his life living with his parents under the oppressive regime of Fidel Castro in Cuba. Luckily, Vitamin X and his family managed to escape the small island on a raft when X was just 4. They settled down in Miami, Florida in the good ol' U.S.A. where Vitamin X worked hard to graduate from Harvard. From there, The X-Man began his road to the top, becoming one of the richest men in America. But let's skip over that part and head right to when he started wrestling. Vitamin X started his wrestling career competing in minor independent federations, but retired due to just wanting to sit back and argue with people. X stumbled aimlessly across the OAOAST and decided to come out of retirement, but in doing so, he found that all he wanted was glory and attention...and ended up pissing everyone off in the process. Looking to go somewhere, Vitamin X joined The Lightning Crew on the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone, shocking The Mad Cappa with a taser gun in his match against Puerto Rican Lightning for the Puerto Rican Championship. Vitamin X helped in the bloody beatdown of Cappa that sent him to the injured list for 3 months. X spent the next two years being just a loyal member of The Lightning Crew, helping his boss whenever he could and always watching his back. However, in July 2005, Vitamin X decided that he had had enough of being just a member of The Lightning Crew. He wanted to break out as a singles wrestler, so PRL told him to go ahead and challenge somebody. On an edition of HeldDOWN~!, VX noticed retired former OAOAST World Tag Team Champion and member of the Dream Machines, The Parka, sitting at ringside with his friend, Eddy Kalm. Vitamin X berated Parka, revealing to the crowd Parka's money woes. Parka remained calm, so VX attacked him with the microphone leading to a pull apart brawl. At License To Pin on July 31, 2005, Vitamin X stole one of the hubcaps from The Parka's famous El Camino vechicle. This led to a brawl backstage which turned into an impromptu match, Parka's first match in a year. Parka, who was suffering from an injured back, fought as much as he could, but The X-Man was able to defeat the OAOAST Original. After the match, Vitamin X took the hubcap he stole from the El Camino with him. On the HeldDOWN~! following License To Pin, Vitamin X came out wearing the hubcap around his neck as a necklace. X declared that he had retired The Parka. VX then spit on The Parka's mask and ripped it to shreds, saying it symbolized how he felt about Leroy Andrew Parka. The next week, Parka's mentor and trainer, the legendary La Parka, came out and berated Vitamin X for what he had done to Leroy Andrew Parka. VX responded by attacking La Parka, but was stopped by The Parka, who challenged X to a Street Fight at AngleSlam. VX accepted, vowing to end The Parka's career once and for all. At AngleSlam on August 28, 2005, Vitamin X took on The Parka in a Street Fight. Parka came to the ring in a brand new El Camino, which greatly annoyed X. Parka controlled the early portion of the match, showing that he still had something left in the tank. However, Vitamin X soon took over, as he brutalized Parka, specifically his repaired back, busting him open. Despite all the pain Parka was in, he would not give up. Soon, The Parka got a second wind, and he bloodied Vitamin X, with the crowd 100% behind him. Towards the end of the match, Vitamin X placed The Parka on a glass table, reminiscent of The Dream Machines memorable Glass Table Match against Totally Endorsed at The Great Angle Bash 2003. However, Parka fought back and put VX on the table. He then leaped off the top rope through the table which was sitting at ringside, shattering it. Moments later, The Parka pinned Vitamin X to win the match, proving to the fans, to the OAOAST wrestlers, to Vitamin X, and most importantly, to himself, that he still had what it takes to win in professional wrestling. Parka also got his hubcap back. While The Parka's win was an emotional moment in OAOAST history, it was a humilating moment for Vitamin X. PRL berated X for losing "to a cripple", but The X-Man wasn't going to cry over spilled milk. Instead, he would move on, into a feud with OAOAST newcomer, Otaku II. The two men engaged in a personal rivalry over the span of three months, battling it out in the ring and outside of the ring. Otaku struck first blood, defeating VX at World Without End on October 30, 2005. However, X returned the favour, pinning Otaku II at November Reign the next month in under 10 minutes. It all came down to the third, and final, match in their feud (ignoring Vitamin X's dubious "victory" over Otaku on the November 3, 2005 edition of HeldDOWN~!), a No Disqualification Match at Climax on December 18, 2005. The two men did indeed take advantage of the No DQ stipulation, fighting all around the arena, using every weapon they could find, including X hitting Otaku with the Leap Of Faith through the announcer's table. In the end, Otaku proved he was the better man, giving Vitamin X the Bubblegum Crash and then finishing him off with an incredible Shooting Star Press off a 17-foot ladder. Otaku II may have won the feud, but Vitamin X showed that he was no joke in the process. The Otaku II feud would soon lead Vitamin X into the feud between PRL and the former members of The Lightning Crew, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, and John "Rock Hard" Brickston, along with "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez and Otaku II. X doved headfirst into the feud, joining Cuban Wall in attacking John "Rock Hard" Brickston on the January 5, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!. X liked the beatdown with Wall so much that he thought it would be a great idea if the two of them formed a real tag team. Wall agreed, and thus, Brains & Brawn was born. Brains & Brawn made their televised debut defeating Spanish Fly and John "Rock Hard" Brickston at Anglepalooza on January 29, 2006 in a Tag Team Tables Match after X hit Brickston in the back with a steel chair which allowed Cuban Wall the chance to chokeslam Brickston through a table. Later that same night, Vitamin X, along with Stephen Joseph Popick, accompanied "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican in his OAOAST 24/7 Championship Match against Colombian Heat. Heat was able to deliver the Colombian Necktie to Tha Puerto Rican and win the 24/7 Title, however, Vitamin X revealed that the referee who made the count, Lightning Crew member Thomas Rodriguez, was not an official OAOAST referee, therefore the pinfall did not count. PRL would soon win the match, and Vitamin X became targeted by Colombian Heat for the screwjob at Anglepalooza. In the meantime, The X-Man began a feud with John "Rock Hard" Brickston after Anglepalooza. The 6'6" big man from Sacramento, California chased the 5'8" VX all around the country for weeks until the two met at Zero Hour on February 26, 2006 in a No Disqualification Match. Nobody gave VX a chance in Hell of beating "Rock Hard", so nobody was surprised when Vitamin X got absolutely no offense at all for most of the match. That all changed when The Lightning Crew interfered, and after Cuban Wall severly weakened Brickston with a taser gun and a Lightning Crew Splash, Vitamin X covered "Rock Hard" Brickston and got the upset victory to the shock of all. That same night, Vitamin X helped cost Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly a victory against Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua. The Vitamin X-Colombian Heat feud was kicked up a notch following Zero Hour, with a match being signed for AngleMania V after Colombian Heat defeated Cuban Wall in under 3 minutes. Vitamin X trained intensely for his AngleMania debut, competing in warm-up matches, working out in his state of the art gym, and studying tapes of Colombian Heat (well not really). At AngleMania V on April 2, 2006 from the Trump Plaza Hotel And Convention Center in Atlantic City, New Jersey, Vitamin X took on Colombian Heat one-on-one in the first match of the show. X tried to get the advantage early on, having Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua attack Heat while he was making his entrance to the ring. However, Heat was able to escape that and kick the crap out of Vitamin X before the bell rang. The match went back and forth, with each man getting some good offense in. Despite interference from Cuban Wall and Vitamin X attacking Heat with a Kendo Stick, Colombian Heat was able to give Vitamin X a Colombian Necktie and pull out the victory, ending the feud on top with a victory in his AngleMania debut. VX returned to the tag team ranks in May, as Brains & Brawn began a feud with the then-reigning OAOAST World Tag Team Champions The Heavenly Rockers. Cuban Wall and The X-Man stole the World Tag Team Championship belts from Logan "Usher" Mann and Synth Esizer and wore them to the ring all the way until their match against The Rockers at School's Out on May 28, 2006. The match went back and forth, but in the end, the reigning Tag Team Champions were able to not only successfully retain their titles, but also get their belts back. Vitamin X went back to being a loyal member of The Lightning Crew, not doing much of note (besides getting an upset victory over Thunderkid in August), for the rest of the year. That all changed in December of 2006 when Vitamin X began showing interest in Stacey Robertson, who, at the time, was the girlfriend of Colombian Heat, X's old rival. What began with Vitamin X smelling Stacey's hair and trying to lift up her skirt, soon escalated into X trying to remove Stacey's top when she was unconscious and trying to force himself on her. Luckily for Stacey, Colombian Heat was able to defend her and chase Vitamin X away. Tired of always being chased away by Heat, Vitamin X begged Tha Puerto Rican to help him win Stacey's love. So, on the December 28, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Colombian Heat took on Mr. Boricua in a match where if Mr. Boricua won, then Stacey Robertson would have to spend New Year's Eve with The Lightning Crew and specifically, Vitamin X. Despite fighting with all his heart, a flying chairshot from VX put Heat down for the count, and thus, Stacey Robertson was dragged away from her man and forced to spend New Year's Eve with The Lightning Crew. After the ball dropped in Times Square on New Year's Eve, Vitamin X took Stacey Robertson to a motel, just minutes before Colombian Heat came storming into The Lightning Crew's hotel suite to look for his girl. When Heat asked Stacey how it was like being with Vitamin X, Stacey said that Vitamin X was a "gentleman". This set the stage for the shocking betrayal which took place on the January 4, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!. Colombian Heat took on "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican in a No Disqualification Match with the stipulations being that if PRL won, then Stacey Robertson would become a member of The Lightning Crew; however if Colombian Heat won, then Stacey Robertson would put a restraining order on The Lightning Crew, and specifically Vitamin X. The match went all over the arena, including a stop over at Sofa Central, where Colombian Heat beat on Vitamin X for a little bit. After a hard fought battle, Colombian Heat gave his former best friend the Colombian Necktie and pinned him, finally beating Tha Puerto Rican in a one-on-one match and freeing his girlfriend from the clutches of The Lightning Crew. Or so we thought. Because right after the match ended, Stacey Robertson shocked the world when she slapped Colombian Heat across his face, and then had Vitamin X low blow him. The Lightning Crew did a beatdown on Heat, and afterwards it was revealed that Stacey Robertson and Vitamin X were now a couple. The heartbroken Colombian Heat watched as his now ex-girlfriend made out with his arch-enemy right in front of his very eyes. Stacey Robertson was now a member of The Lightning Crew, and Vitamin X had finally won Stacey's heart. The following week on HeldDOWN~!, Stacey Robertson was renamed Princess Stacey of The Lightning Crew, and Vitamin X was given the nickname of Prince Vitamin, the Prince of The Lightning Crew. Not only that, but PRL also named X the Second-In-Command of The Lightning Crew, a position that was once held by...Colombian Heat. That same week, Vitamin X finally defeated Colombian Heat in a one-on-one match, thanks to interference from the newly dubbed Princess Stacey. Now back with Cuban Wall, and with a new girlfriend in Princess Stacey, Vitamin X is riding high. He hopes to make a name for himself as a singles superstar in the OAOAST, while at the same time climb to the top of the OAOAST tag team division and win the OAOAST World Tag Team Titles with Cuban Wall as Brains & Brawn. Not to mention, he also wants to be the best lover he can be to Princess Stacey. Vitamin X is also involved in the non-wrestling aspect of the business. He serves as the Official Lightning Crew Announcer/Interviewer, and, thanks to his financial know how, serves as the Financial Consultant of The Lightning Crew. X handles The LC's OAOAST contracts and merchandising sales. He has alot of connections, but he has never revealed exactly who he is connected to. What does Prince Vitamin's future hold? More money and fame? Championship gold? New sexual positions to be used with Princess Stacey? Whatever it may be, you can bet that Vitamin X is certainly looking forward to it, living his life to the fullest, day after Shane-O-Mac Shuffling day, after Shane-O-Mac Shuffling day. BOO-YAH~! Title History 0x World Champion - (The reason why this is mentioned is because it eats away at him) 8x Intercontinental/American/TV Champ/any other miscellaneous upper-midcard belt 3x Tag Team Champion _____________________________________ _____________________________________ _____________________________________ Name Cuban Wall Age 31 Height 6'7" Weight 285 lbs. Hometown Havana, Cuba Alignment (heel, face, tweener) Very over badass heel Stable affiliation (if any) The Muscle for The Lightning Crew; One-half of Brains & Brawn Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.) A brawler who also does some high flying moves, and can do some technical wrestling. Think Undertaker meets Chris Benoit. Theme music "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds Brains & Brawn Theme Music: "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by Beastie Boys Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.) A deep, slow voiced man yells out, "LIGHTNING CREW!" alerting the crowd on who is coming out next. The opening to "No Chance In Hell" starts up as the crowd stands up and boos. The AngleTron shows a picture of Cuban Wall posing in front of a Cuban flag with CUBAN WALL written to the right side of the screen in big white blocky letters. Strobe lights appear on the entrance set, while smoke fills the entryway. The crescendo hits, and "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds begins playing. A few seconds later, Cuban Wall comes out to loud boos. Cuban Wall looks at the crowd and pumps his right fist into the air, then proceeds to walk to the ring, his eyes focused soley on it, with a serious expression on his face. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, and then enters the ring over the top rope. Wall stands in the middle of the ring and does The Lightning Crew Salute, and then jaws with the fans as "No Chance In Hell" continues playing. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises his hands in the air, then gets off the second turnbuckle and shadow boxes while waiting for his opponent as "No Chance In Hell" by Bradley Royds dies down. Brains & Brawn Entrance Style: The fans hear the sound of a cash register opening up. It is followed by Vitamin X saying, "Come and take your Vitamin X." "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by the Beastie Boys begins playing, causing the crowd to boo loudly. Once the rapping starts, The Lightning Crew Mobile, driven by Cuban Wall, pulls into the arena, next to the entrance. Princess Stacey dances seductively on the hood of the car, while Vitamin X and Cuban Wall bob their heads to the beat of their entrance song. VX and Wall get out of the car and raise their hands in the air. The crowd boos some more. Cuban Wall pumps his right fist into the air. Princess Stacey gets off the hood of The Lightning Crew Mobile and directs Brains & Brawn to the ring. Dollar signs are superimposed over the entryway as the three of them walk to the ring, with Cuban Wall's eyes focused soley on the squared circle, with a serious expression on his face. Cuban Wall shadow boxes a little bit, while Vitamin X jaws with the fans. Cuban Wall enters the ring over the top rope, while Vitamin X hops onto a second turnbuckle, and then crosses his arms into a X. While X does this, Cuban Wall just stands in the middle of the ring, giving the fans a cold hard stare while "Rhymin' & Stealin'" continues playing. Vitamin X hops off the second turnbuckle and into the ring. X, Wall, and Stacey stand in the center of the ring and do The Lightning Crew Salute to loud boos. Afterwards, Vitamin X receives a kiss from Stacey while Wall jaws with the fans. Wall heads to a second turnbuckle, and raises his hands in the air, then gets off the second turnbuckle and shadow boxes for a bit. Meanwhile, Vitamin X does the Shane-O-Mac Shuffle as he waits for Brains & Brawn's match to start while "Rhymin' & Stealin'" by the Beastie Boys dies down. Sometimes, he'll also dance. Badly. He might even sometimes ask Cuban Wall if he would like to join him, but Wall will threaten to punch him in the face, and that'll be the end of that. Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc) Sunglasses. Gold chain around his neck. Ring attire Rotound figure. Cuban flag bandana on his head. Pierced right ear. White Lightning Crew T-shirt. Black vest with Cuban flag on the back, and LIGHTNING CREW written on top in big white blocky letters. 4-LIFE is written on the bottom of the vest in big white blocky letters. Blue elbow pads. Black fingerless gloves. Shaved head. Black goatee. Long blue tights with CUBA written across the right leg in big white blocky letters. Red boots. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2) Lightning Crew Splash (Cuban Wall bounces off the ropes, and then delivers a splash right onto his opponent) The Wallbreaker (Train Wreck. Usually followed by the Lightning Crew Splash.) Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.) Grabbing his opponent in a fallaway slam position, and then slamming his opponent's back against all four turnbuckles, finishing off with a powerslam Soupbones all over his opponent's body Chokeslam Avalanche Powerbomb Shining Wizard Enziguiri Chokehold Leg Drop Piledriver Death Valley Driver Flying Clothesline Double-Armed DDT Shoulderbreaker Basic moveset Undertaker and Triple H circa 2000-2001 Manager/valet/sidekick Mr. Boricua, or other members of The Lightning Crew, but most of the time, he'll come to the ring by his damn self Catchphrases/Trademark gestures -Cocky smirk -Does lots of shadow boxing -Flicks his wrists -Gives the fans a cold hard stare -The Lightning Crew Salute -When tagging with Vitamin X, Wall has a habit of punching Vitamin X in the jaw numerous times. No real reason really, it's just that Cuban Wall is very easily annoyed with Vitamin X (and can you blame him, really?). History/Background/Career Highlights Cuban Wall began his life in the communist country of Cuba. When he was 7, his parents made a daring escape to the United States in a tiny rowboat, where they spent 40 days at sea. Wall's family settled in Miami, Florida, and there, Cuban Wall began his obsession with professional wrestling. Cuban Wall was a bully in school, so it made sense that he would transfer his aggression from the schoolyard into the ring. When Wall was 18, he began his wrestling training, and less than 2 years later, he began wrestling in the indies. Wall took wrestling very seriously, and literally beat the crap out of anyone who insulted it. When Cuban Wall went on a talk show, a member of the audience insulted pro wrestling calling it, "A bunch of dumb hicks rolling around a mat in their underwear." Wall attacked the man, and was arrested for assault. He was released 8 months later, and continued wrestling in the indy circuit for 3 years going to Japan, Canada, and Mexico in the process. In November of 2002, an OAOAST agent spotted Wall wrestling in Ring Of Honor. Wall was signed to an OAOAST contract, and spent the rest of 2002, and the first nine months of 2003, wrestling in dark matches before IntenseZone shows known simply as The Wall. On one October night in 2003, Puerto Rican Lightning arrived at the arena earlier than usual. After getting dressed, PRL stopped to view the dark matches before an iZ show, and saw Wall in action. PRL was impressed by the 6'7" 285 pound monster, and decided to persuade him into joining The Lightning Crew. At first, Wall was hesistant. He hated PRL after watching what he had done on IntenseZone for the past 8 months. But after PRL offered him lots of money if he joined, Wall "saw the light" as he would soon proclaim, and joined The Lightning Crew. PRL dubbed him Cuban Wall to play up his Cuban heritage, and Cuban Wall made his official OAOAST debut on October 26, 2003 at the World Without End pay-per-view. Wall interfered in the Puerto Rican Lightning/Blurricane OAOAST North American Championship Match, choking Blurricane out with a steel chain, while Colombian Heat knocked out Blurricane with brass knucks. PRL won the match, and Cuban Wall was inducted into The Lightning Crew with a beatdown on Blurricane. Since then, Cuban Wall has served as The Muscle for The Lightning Crew, watching PRL's back and wrestling when needed. On occasion, Wall will wrestle for his own interests and goals, completely separate from The Lightning Crew. Wall was briefly engaged in a feud with Ryan Smith, which ended in a Chain-On-A-Pole Match at The Year Of Living Anglelously on April 25, 2004 which Smith won. Wall also participated in the infamous Emperor of Deathmatch Tournament at License To Pin: This Ain't Oz in July 2004, where he lost in the first round to Sly "The Sly" Sommers, and was also involved in the first ever Heartland Invitational Chamber Of Hell Match for the OAOAST Heartland Championship which also included the Heartland Champion Alfdogg, Reject, Thunderkid, Mike Guerriero, and JINGUS, and which took place at AngleSlam on August 28, 2005 (Alfdogg won the match). Cuban Wall (along with Mr. Boricua) was in the AngleMania V pre-show Battle Royal and also wrestled at Battlebowl on July 4, 2006 where he and Scotty Static lost to Thunderkid and "The Current Big Thing" Brock Ausstin in a Battlebowl Qualifying Match. On the January 5, 2006 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!, Cuban Wall helped Vitamin X beat down John "Rock Hard" Brickston. Afterwards, Vitamin X suggested that he and Wall form a real tag team. Cuban Wall agreed, and thus, Brains & Brawn was born. Brains & Brawn made their televised debut defeating Spanish Fly and John "Rock Hard" Brickston at Anglepalooza on January 29, 2006 in a Tag Team Tables Match after X hit Brickston in the back with a steel chair which allowed Cuban Wall the chance to chokeslam Brickston through a table. Brains & Brawn would help "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican in his battles against the former members of The Lightning Crew, Brickston, Colombian Heat, and Spanish Fly, along with "Silky Smooth" Leon Rodez and Otaku II for the rest of the winter and into the spring. After AngleMania VI, Brains & Brawn took a break, only to resurface a month later to challenge the then-OAOAST World Tag Team Champions The Heavenly Rockers to a match at School's Out. Cuban Wall and Vitamin X stole the World Tag Team Championship belts from Logan "Usher" Mann and Synth Esizer and wore them to the ring all the way until their match against The Rockers at School's Out on May 28, 2006. The match went back and forth, but in the end, the reigning World Tag Team Champions were able to not only successfully retain their titles, but also get their belts back. Brains & Brawn were put on hiatus for the rest of the year, while Cuban Wall continued trying to make a name for himself in the singles ranks. Wall played an intergal part in "The Conspiracy" to take the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship away from D*LUX by beating PRL up outside the ring on the November 16, 2006 edition of HeldDOWN~!, and then beating him in a match the next week on HeldDOWN~!. As would soon be revealed, it was all apart of the plan, and Cuban Wall is still a member of The Lightning Crew, and still has a good relationship with Tha Puerto Rican. With Stacey Robertson now a member of The Lightning Crew as Princess Stacey, Vitamin X announced on the January 11, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~! that Brains & Brawn were back together to be managed by Princess Stacey. Brains & Brawn look to make a splash in the tag team ranks in the not-too-distant future. While at the same time, Cuban Wall hopes to make an impact in his singles career. He is intent on hurting people and winning championships in the OAOAST, while at the same time, protecting Tha Puerto Rican. Cuban Wall is a loner, not really fitting in with the rest of The Lightning Crew. He would rather win matches on his own, although if he does get help, he doesn't complain about it. At one point in time, Cuban Wall was the wrestler people predicted to break out of The Lightning Crew and become a singles superstar, but that prediction seems to go to only Vitamin X these days. Luckily for Wall, he doesn't give a damn about what people think of him. A heavy metal badass without a heart of gold, Cuban Wall is indeed a wall, plowing through his opponents, showing no mercy. Will Cuban Wall become the legend that he wants to be? Only time will tell.

*UPDATED JANUARY 26, 2008* Name Tha Puerto Rican Nicknames The P.R. Menace, The People's Champion, The People's Champ, PRL, The Great One, Greatness Personified, The Most Electrifying Man In Professional Wrestling, The Latin Lion Age 28 Height 5'9" Weight 220 lbs. Hometown San Juan, Puerto Rico Alignment (heel, face, tweener) Highly charismatic, cocky, arrogant FACE~! Stable affiliation (if any) One-half of The Badd Boyz with Colombian Heat Wrestling style (brawler, cruiserweight, technical, all-rounder, etc.) High-Flyer who gets technical and brawls when neccessary Theme music "Know Your Role 2000" (The Rock's theme circa 2000) Entrance Style (what color pyro, spotlights, etc.) We hear the following over the P.A. system: “THE CHAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP…” *DUN DUN* “…IS…” *DUN* “…HERE!” With that, a lightning bolt hits the entrance, the PRL entrance video plays on the AngleTron, and "Know Your Role 2000" begins playing, with the crowd standing up and cheering loudly. The lights go down in the arena. PR is heard saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" in tune with the beat of the song, while smoke fills the entryway and spotlights circle around and around the arena. A few seconds elapsed, and then Tha Puerto Rican quickly saunters out through the smoke and power walks to the ring, not stopping at all, and keeping his eyes focused on the ring. The crowd cheers louder than before. Tha Puerto Rican stops at ringside to slap hands with the fans before power walking around the ringside area. Tha Puerto Rican gets on the ring apron and gives the fans The People's Eyebrow. Tha Puerto Rican enters the ring. He spins around; soaking in the fans' cheers while "Know Your Role 2000" continues playing over the P.A. system. Tha Puerto Rican does the HBK muscle pose while pyro goes off behind him. The crowd is still cheering loudly. PRL heads to a second turnbuckle and raises his hands. He then heads to another second turnbuckle and raises his hands again. PR then hits a third second turnbuckle and raises his right fist into the air while he “smells the electricity” as a single spotlight shines on him ala The Rock. PRL does the same Rock pose on the fourth second turnbuckle, receiving cheers. Tha Puerto Rican gets off of the ropes, removes his sunglasses and earring from his left ear, and gets ready for his match while the lights go back on in the arena. "Know Your Role 2000" dies down as Tha Puerto Rican waits for his opponent(s). Entrance attire (sunglasses, robe, jacket, etc) Sunglasses. Sometimes Tha Puerto Rican wears a FUBU Puerto Rican flag baseball jersey. Other times, he'll wear a Puerto Rican flag as a cape. He'll also come out wearing HBK-like entrance attire (as in the cowboy chaps and vests with hats) once in a while. PRL will always come to the ring wearing an earring in his left ear and sunglasses, though. Ring attire WHEN WRESTLING: Tha Puerto Rican wears a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head in all of his matches. Blue elbow pads. Puerto Rican flag wrist bands. Black crew cut. Long red tights with blue down the sides with "PUERTO" written down the left leg in white blocky letters, and "RICAN" written down the right leg in white blocky letters. A picture of the island of Puerto Rico with a Puerto Rican flag inserted onto it is on his rear with the words "PUERTO RICO" written in red neon cursive font on top. Red wrestling boots with the Puerto Rican flag airbrushed onto them. For AngleMania, and AngleMania only, P.R. paints two Puerto Rican flags on his cheeks. He also wears a gold chain around his neck. WHEN NOT WRESTLING: Tha Puerto Rican is no longer "The Corporate Champion", but he still likes to dress nice. $500 shirts, expensive dress pants, expensive dress shoes and $500 Rolex watches are all apart of PRL's normal attire outside of the ring. However, PRL will also wear a T-shirt and jeans every once in a while too. He has become more relaxed with what he wears outside of the ring since he's no longer corporate. Either way, Tha Puerto Rican always wears a Puerto Rican flag bandana on his head to symbolize that PR hasn't forgotten where he came from. PRL will also sometimes wear his warm-up gear consisting of a Puerto Rican flag bandana, a gold chain around his neck, an earring in his left ear, sunglasses, a black sweatshirt, blue elbow pads, Puerto Rican flag wrist bands, black warm-up pants, and red wrestling boots with the Puerto Rican flag airbrushed onto them. Finishing Move(s) (try to keep it to 1 or 2) P.R. Nightmare (Edgeacution a.k.a. C.O.D.: Concussion On Delivery a.k.a. Jumping DDT.) P.R. Smackdown (Burning Hammer. Rarely used finisher. And when it is used, it is the guaranteed end of the match. No ifs, ands, or buts.) Signature Moves (ex: Shining Wizard, Rolling Germans, etc.) The People's Elbow Drop (Tha Puerto Rican stands up on the top rope, removes his left elbow pad and throws it into the crowd. He then leaps off of the top rope, doing the "Up yours!" gesture while in mid-air, before dropping his left elbow onto his opponent. Tha Puerto Rican always does a bodyslam to set up the move.) The People's Trifecta (Tha Puerto Rican does a vertical suplex. He then rolls through, and does a second vertical suplex. PRL rolls through again, and then lifts up his opponent into the air for a third vertical suplex, holding his opponent up in the air for a few seconds, letting the blood rush to their head. He then does the "You can't see me!" hand gesture, and then walks to the ropes, doing a slingshot suplex for the third suplex. Afterwards, Tha Puerto Rican will applaud himself.) Lightning Strike (Diamond Cutter) Esto Daño De La Cogida De La Voluntad (Cradle DDT. It's Spanish for "This Will Fucking Hurt".) The Mad Cappa Crusher 2006: The Remix (Kenny Dykstra's cool looking Top Rope Legdrop) Back Cracker The Annexation Of Puerto Rico (Tiger Driver '91) The Cappa Killa (Stone Cold Stunner) Dodge THIS, BITCH~! (Gamengiri a.k.a. Johnny-Go-Round a.k.a. Johnny from The Spirit Squad's cool looking Spinning Wheel Kick) The San Juan Jam (Tha Puerto Rican exits the ring, and stands on the ring apron. He then leaps onto the top ring rope, and then does a Springboard 450 Splash onto his opponent.) Latin Slam (Rock Bottom) The Puerto Rico Elbow (Same as The People's Elbow. Before the elbow is dropped, P.R. will mock his opponent's mannerisms if the opponent has any.) Five Knuckle Shuffle (That's John Cena's move where he pumps up his sneakers, runs to the ropes, stops to shake his shoulders, dusts his right shoulder off, and then does a fist drop onto his opponent's face. Tha Puerto Rican doesn't wear sneakers in the ring, so he simply runs to the ropes, forgoing the pumping up the sneakers part of the move.) Che Guevara Special (Gory Guerrero Special) "Free Puerto Rico Now!" (Gory Bomb) Leapfrog followed by a reversed leapfrog followed by an arm-drag (usually begins his matches) The People's Axe (Double Axehandle from the top rope) Air Puerto Rico (Van Terminator a.k.a. Front Dropkick from one side of the ring to the other, into a garbage can or a chair or whatever other weapon PR can find) Lightning Bolt (Styles Clash) Van Daminator German Suplex, followed by Tha Puerto Rican getting up, pounding his chest and yelling, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" to cheers. PRL then stops to pose. West Coast Pop (Springboard Hurricarana) The Ricochet (Tha Puerto Rican grabs his opponent by his head, brings him towards the ropes, leaps over the top ring rope, bringing his opponent's throat onto the top ring rope, snapping his opponent back onto the mat) Lightning Shock (P.R. follows The Ricochet by rushing towards his opponent, leaping over him, grabbing his head in mid-air and giving him a reverse neckbreaker on the way down) Basic moveset Moonsault Piledriver Wheelbarrow Suplex Fist Drops Rock-Style Punches (including the spitting of the left hand before the last punch) Flying Forearm, followed by the kip up, followed by the stomping of the right foot ala Shawn Michaels (the "Tuning up the band"), followed by the Sweet Chin Music (This usually sets up the P.R. Nightmare) Tope' Suicida Baseball Slide Shooting Star Press Arm-Bar Pescado Sharpshooter Spinning Heel Kick Edge-O-Matic Samoan Drop (After doing the Samoan Drop, PRL applauds himself) Spinebuster (Rock-Style) European Uppercuts Stomping A Mudhole Stinger Splash Double Underhook DDT Russian Legsweep Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker Enziguiri Shining Wizard Bulldog Manager/valet/sidekick Colombian Heat will sometimes accompany him, but most of the time, he comes to the ring by himself. He's his own man now. Catchphrases/Trademark gestures -Cocky smirk -The McMahon SNEER~! -"Smells the electricity" ala The Rock -"Watch out for the lightning strike, because (Insert Opponent's Name Here), you are about to suffer a P.R. Nightmare!" -Does the "That's it!" signal when it's time to do the P.R. Nightmare or the P.R. Smackdown -Always begins his in-ring interviews by saying, "THE CHAMP IS HERE!" -Always ALWAYS ends his promos by saying, "THE CHAMP HAS SPO-KUN~!!!" -After certain moves, PRL points to his head to show how smart he is -After certain moves, PRL will applaud himself -Calls the fans his "Lightning Bolts", like how The Rock called the fans "The People", or how Hulk Hogan called the fans "Hulkamaniacs", or how Kane called the fans "Kaneinites". Originally done to irritate the fans, they have since come to love Tha Puerto Rican, so they have no problem being called his "Lightning Bolts" now. -Once in a while, Tha Puerto Rican will "borrow" a catchphrase from The Rock, and he'll work it into his promo -"I will lay the smackdown on his candy ass!" (Whenever he saids this, Tha Puerto Rican will slap his hands together. It looks like he is making a sandwich, but he is not. He is laying the smackdown on someone. Not making a sandwich.) -"You can't see me!" (Complete with hand gesture) -The People's Eyebrow History/Background/Career Highlights Born and raised in San Juan, Puerto Rico. Picked on in school. Tried to commit suicide five times. Wrestled in the indies for a few years as The Lightning Kid wearing a mask and then losing it and wrestling without a mask. Joined the OAOAST in January 2003 as Puerto Rican Lightning. Debuted on March 10, 2003 on an edition of IntenseZone, taking on The Mad Cappa in a match which ended in a disqualification. Over the next four years, Tha Puerto Rican ran rougshod over the OAOAST with The Lightning Crew by his side. PRL feuded with Leon Rodez, Panther, John "Rock Hard" Brickston, Otaku II, "Reckless" Drek Stone, "The Birmingham Bad Boy" Jamie O'Hara, Colombian Heat, Spanish Fly, both members of D*LUX, and The Mad Cappa, perhaps his greatest rival of all, among others. Through it out, The P.R. Menace has managed to garnered an impressive resume. He is a 3-time OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian/Puerto Rican Champion, a former OAOAST X-Division Champion, a former OAOAST North American Champion, a former HI-YAH World Tag Team Champion with Stephen Joseph Popick, and the holds the record for the longest 24/7 Championship reign in OAOAST at 360 days. At School's Out: Class Dismissed 2004 on May 23, 2004, Tha Puerto Rican formed an alliance with Stephen Joseph Popick. Popick dubbed PRL his "Corporate Champion", and proceeded to become P.R.'s manager and "Career Consultant", helping him win matches and titles along the way, at one point holding the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles with him. The bond between PR and Popick was at one point very strong, and the two men were arguably the most hated men in the entire OAOAST. That all changed in October of 2007. Popick had become tired of PRL's failed attempts at winning the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship, the latest of which happened at Zero Hour 2007 on September 30, 2007 in a Triple Threat Ladder Match between PRL, Zack Malibu, and the Champion at the time, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. Popick took on Maddix for the World Title on the Halloween Spectacular on October 31, 2007 and shocked the world, especially PRL, by defeating Maddix to capture his second World Heavyweight Title. Over a week later on the November 8, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Tha Puerto Rican returned to Puerto Rico to a hero's welcome and challenged Popick to a match right then and there in San Juan. Popick refused, PRL called Popick a coward, and Popick responded by slapping PRL across the face. Just before a physical altercation could occur though, Landon Maddix came out to complain about his loss on the Halloween Spectacular. PR challenged Landon to a one-on-one match for the first time ever and that match was the main event for the San Juan, Puerto Rico edition of HeldDOWN~!. The match went back and forth, but in the end, thanks to Stephen Joseph Popick and the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt, PRL managed to pick up the victory. PRL did not take too kindly to Popick's interference in his match. A Triple Cage Match for the OAOAST Championship was announced as the main event for November Reign 2007. In the weeks leading up to the pay-per-view, tension build between PR and Popick. Popick promised PRL that he would have his back in the Triple Cage, but that he also would do whatever it took to retain the World Title. PRL said that he would do whatever it took to win the World Title but would also have Popick's back, and on November 25, 2007, PRL, Popick, Zack Malibu, "Urban Legend" Todd Cortez, Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix, and Bohemoth all entered the Triple Cage at November Reign in Las Vegas, Nevada, and proceeded to have one of the most memorable matches in OAOAST history. By the end, it came down to just PRL, Zack, and Popick in the third cage. PRL saved Stephen Joseph from a Riot Act Plus on top of the second cage from Todd Cortez, but Popick did not save PRL from getting Angle Slammed on top of the second cage. Instead, Popick took advantage, and grabbed the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt from the hook to retain the Title, shocking the world again. An irate Puerto Rican came to the ring on the November 30, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!, demanding an explanation for Popick's actions at November Reign. Popick announced to the world that his alliance with Tha Puerto Rican was over, but that was not the only surprise for PRL that night. After his request for a World Title shot was denied by Popick, PR challenged Popick to a Six-Man Tag Team Match with himself, Cuban Wall and Mr. Boricua taking on Popick and two partners of his choosing. Popick refused, stating that if they were to have a Six-Man Tag Team Match, who would PRL's partners be. PRL was confused by this comment, which allowed Cuban Wall to clothesline the back of his neck. The Lightning Crew proceeded to do a beatdown on Tha Puerto Rican, unceramoniously kicking him out of the very group he founded. Stephen Joseph Popick revealed that he was now the leader of The Lightning Crew and that they now took orders from him. Even PRL's fiancée, Ms. Lindsay Gonzalez, had turned her back on Tha Puerto Rican, marrying Stephen Joseph behind his back the morning after November Reign. Just when all hope was lost for Tha Puerto Rican, help came in the form of Colombian Heat, who proceeded to clear the ring of The Lightning Crew with PRL. PRL and Heat reunited that night on HeldDOWN~! in one of the most emotional moments in OAOAST history. Together, Tha Puerto Rican and Colombian Heat became known as The Badd Boyz. The next week on HeldDOWN~!, PRL took on his cousin, The Bone Thug, in one-on-one action. But before the match could really get underway, The Lightning Crew interfered, causing the match to end in a no contest. PRL was able to fend off his former friends, that is until a man dressed in a black raincoat came out and gave Puerto Rican a Stone Cold Stunner. The man was revealed to be The Mad Cappa, PR's old rival, who was now a member of The Lightning Crew. Popick had arranged for Cappa to join The Lightning Crew and rid the OAOAST of Tha Puerto Rican once and for all. On the December 13, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa collided in the ring yet again. Dubbed "A Rivlary Renewed", PRL and Mad Cappa proceeded to have another classic encounter, going all over the arena tearing each other apart. Towards the end of the match, The Lightning Crew once again interfered, and The Mad Cappa was disqualified. Still, The Lightning Crew entered the ring and proceeded to do another beatdown on Tha Puerto Rican. Then Popick ordered Cappa to crush PRL's larynx, just like PRL had done to Cappa on the May 27, 2003 edition of IntenseZone. The Mad Cappa was primed and ready to do the same thing evil act PR had done to him four years before. However, something inside The Mad Cappa prevented him from crushing PRL's layrnx. Despite Popick's constant badgering, Cappa refused to crush PRL's layrnx. This greatly angered Popick. Instead, The Mad Cappa jump off of the top rope and hit Stephen Joseph over the head with the ring bell. The Mad Cappa made a mad dash for the exit with The Lightning Crew on his tail while Colombian Heat helped his friend to the back. The very next week, The Mad Cappa was kicked out of The Lightning Crew and forced to team up with Tha Puerto Rican against the team of Mr. Boricua and Cuban Wall, the two big men of The Lightning Crew. Surprisingly, PRL and Cappa fared fairly well as a team, taking it to Boricua and Wall to the crowd's delight. The Lightning Crew once again interfered, but PRL and Mad Cappa were able to fend them off successfully as the show ended. On the December 27, 2007 edition of HeldDOWN~!, Cappa and PRL teamed up again, this time against Cuban Wall and Vitamin X, Brains & Brawn. Like the week before, Cappa and PR worked well together as a team and just like the week before, The Lightning Crew interfered. And just like the week before, The Mad Cappa and Tha Puerto Rican (along with Colombian Heat, who saved The Mad Cappa from a chairshot from Cuban Wall by taking it himself) were able to fend them off successfully. On the New Year's Spectacular on January 3, 2008, Tha Puerto Rican took on Stephen Joseph Popick and The Mad Cappa in a Triple Threat Match for the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship. Popick had said that the reason that PRL and The Mad Cappa got a Title shot at the same time was so that they could focus on each other and allow Popick to sweep in for the victory. However, PR and The Mad Cappa's hatred for each other didn't compare to their mutual hatred for Stephen Joseph Popick, and the two rivals took turns taking apart Popick throughout the match. Fortunately for Popick, PR and Cappa's hatred for each other took center stage a few times in the match also, allowing Popick to strike too. In the end, Tha Puerto Rican did the Cappa Killa on Popick, but The Mad Cappa pulled PRL off of Popick just before the count of 3. Cappa didn't appreciate PRL doing *his* finishing maneuver on Popick. The two got into a shouting match as Popick recovered from the Cappa Killa. Seeing his two enemies occupied, Popick struck, pushing The Mad Cappa into Tha Puerto Rican and rolling The Mad Cappa up while holding his jeans. Popick got the victory and retain his World Heavyweight Title again. His plan to "Divide And Conquer" had worked on Tha Puerto Rican and The Mad Cappa. Tha Puerto Rican is now on the warpath, looking for payback against Stephen Joseph Popick and looking to win the first World Heavyweight Championship of his career in the process. PRL hasn't forgotten about the newly named Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation either, and is looking to get some payback from them for turning on him as well. With his friend, Colombian Heat, by his side, Tha Puerto Rican goes into battle a new man; more focused, more determined, now loved by the fans, but still as cocky and as arrogant as ever! That part sure hasn't changed at all! Will The People's Champion get everything that he wants? Only time will tell. Titles Held OAOAST Puerto Rican/Italian Championship - March 22nd, 2003 - June 29th, 2003 - July 21st, 2003 - March 28th, 2004 - June 26th, 2005 - June 30th, 2005* OAOAST North American Championship - September 28th, 2003 - January 25th, 2004 OAOAST 24/7 Championship - April 7th, 2005 - April 2nd, 2006 HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship - November 27th, 2006 - January 18th, 2007 (w/Stephen Joseph Popick) OAOAST X-Division Championship - April 1st, 2007 - May 10th, 2007 *- The belt was known as the OAOAST Italian Championship at the time. Tha Puerto Rican renamed the OAOAST Italian Championship the OAOAST Puerto Rican Championship on the June 30, 2005 edition of OAOAST HeldDOWN~!.

That was Mike & The Bots.

Deuce kinda looks like The Rock when he wears the sunglasses.

I've edited in the two new matches into my list. So far, we've got 5 matches scheduled for the show, which is not bad actually if we assume that the Lethal Rumble Match will go on for a hour. That's about the number of matches the WWE has for the Royal Rumble usually.

Hopefully, you've all read the OAOAST.com EXCLUSIVE~! in the OAOAST Home Entertainment folder, because... -TRIPLE THREAT TAG TEAM MATCH FOR THE HI-YAH WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly (Champions) vs. "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick (Challengers) vs. D*LUX (Challengers with Jade Rodez)

The main event is in. Also in are my segments, two of which were supposed to take place after the match. So, I edited in one of them after the credits, as some sort of stinger, like how there's a scene in a movie after the credits roll? Like that. Hope that's okay. And the other segment I turned into an OAOAST.com EXCLUSIVE~! which I recommend you all read as it pertains especially to Anglepalooza coming up in two weeks. So yeah. Anyway, as usual, a good show tonight. I haven't read all the matches in their entirety, but I DID read all of the segments in full, and they were all A+. The Bruce Blank "This Will Be Your Life" segment was great, but I have to give Patty O' Green Segment(s) Of The Night honors for the hilarious/depressing Alix segment and the K.I.D./Sooner Bruisers smackdown. Kudos to King Cucaracha for the Jade/Heat segment. I'm seriously considering just having him write all of Colombian Heat's promos from now on, he's that good with him. He's got the character down pat! Good job, man. I don't think I'll go in-depth later on. Maybe. Right now, I'm content with this feedback, personally speaking. So, now it's everyone elses turn! Speaking of which, Tony didn't do feedback last week! That makes me a sadddddddddd panda! Annnnddddd go!

Courtesy of the OAOAST.com camera crew, we are taken to OAOAST President Anglesault’s office after HeldDOWN~! where "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick are bitching and complaining about the result of the 2 Out Of 3 Falls Match for the HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship. PR’s spray-painted briefcase sits on Anglesault’s desk. PRL and Popick are still perspiring in their wrestling attire, showing that they went straight from the match to ’Sault’s office. We begin with them in mid-complaining. STEPHEN JOSEPH POPICK This was a miscarriage of JUSTICE! I’ve done my share of rotten things in my lifetime, but I never did what those two...PUNKS did to me and my client tonight! ANGLESAULT Which is...? POPICK ...uh...erm...BEATING ME AND MY CLIENT! ANGLESAULT Oh come on, you gotta be kidding me. POPICK ’Sault, you gotta do me a favour. You gotta grant us a rematch! It’s the only logical conclusion! We were ROBBED tonight! Spanish Flea--Fly---whatever the hell his name is--that first fall SHOULD NOT count! It was a double team move, and as we all know, double team moves ARE NOT LEGAL! Therefore, that first pinfall should really be a disqualification, and since titles can’t change hands on a DQ, we should still be holding the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles right now! "THE CORPORATE CHAMPION" THA PUERTO RICAN That’s right, Popick! POPICK So you see. We were screwed tonight, not to mention we were the last men to hold the titles, therefore, it should be me and my client challenging for the belts again! ANGLESAULT I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do that. I’ve got about 20 different tag teams lined up to take on Heat and Spanish Fly before you guys. So, wait your turn. Popick can’t believe what he’s hearing. Neither can PRL. POPICK ’Sault, are you joking? AS Nope. POPICK ’Sault, come on. I mean, we’ve known each other since the beginning. We’ve been enemies, sure, but, come on, you’ve gotta have SOME respect for me, right? RIGHT!? AS I do, Stephen, but I don’t do personal favours. I’m trying to get the OAOAST back on the right track, and one of those ways is by doing things fair and square. I’ve got teams lining up left and right for a shot at the OAOAST and HI-YAH Tag Team Titles. And since the OAOAST has a reputation of having the best tag team division in the world, I’d like to keep it that way, by giving title shots to the teams that DESERVE them! PRL Oh come on now! What a load of bull! You’re AngleSault! A 2-time OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion! You’re one of the most notorious men in this business! You did rotten things left and right back in the day! You even tried to destroy this company way back when. Now all of a sudden, you’re nice and sweet? What a crock! ANGLESAULT I’m not denying my past. I’m not proud of some of the things I did, either. But I want to move on. The OAOAST has been through HELL this past year, and I want it to end. That’s why I will NOT be giving you two a rematch, because you DON’T deserve it! Now good day to you! POPICK ’Sault, do you realize who you’re talking to? This man is a future World Heavyweight Champion! You wanna talk about putting the OAOAST on the right track? Then HE’S your guy! HE’S the future of this company! And one of the ways he can prove that he is is by having another shot at getting back what is rightfully his! AS I said no. Now good day to you! AngleSault goes back to reading a newspaper. PR and Popick just stare at the owner of the OAOAST for a few seconds. Then, they walk away. But just as they start walking, Popick motions for PRL to come close to him and whispers something in his left ear. Popick keeps whispering. And whispering. And soon, PRL has an evil smile on his face. Puerto nods his head and laughs. PRL Good idea, Stephen. Good idea! Popick nods his head too, and then motions for PRL to follow him. POPICK Yo, ’Sault! You don’t wanna give me and Ed a shot? That’s fine. But I’m warning you. If you don’t give us a shot at getting back the HI-YAH World Tag Team Titles, we’re going to do something you won’t really like! ANGLESAULT Like what? POPICK Well...we’re....we’re going to sue you! AS Sue me? POPICK Yes, sue you! Anglesault is surprised at this. AS Sue me? Sue me for what? PRL For racial discrimination! AS WHAT!? That’s preposterous! PRL Ooh! Watch what you say, ’Sault! Anything you say CAN be used against you in a court of law! ANGLESAULT Why you little---I’ve heard about all the things you’ve done, but I thought people were just exaggerating! I didn’t realize that you really ARE a horses ass! PRL Horses ass? Why’d you use that particular expression? Is it because I’m Puerto Rican? Huh? Is that it? Huh? You--you think that Puerto Ricans ride on donkey’s? Is that it? AS What? PRL You know, you’re just like everybody else! ALWAYS confusing Mexicans with Puerto Ricans! Hey, boss, PUERTO RICANS ARE NOT THE SAME AS MEXICANS! God! POPICK You see what you’ve done? You’ve done pissed him off! PRL Yeah! Now, I’m gonna sue this gringo for everything he’s worth! Maybe, I’ll get control of the OAOAST after all is said and done! POPICK You might actually get a World Title shot then. PRL Yeah, I just might. Anglesault can’t believe the words that are coming out of Tha Puerto Rican’s mouth. He is absolutely stunned. ANGLESAULT I--I---....Come on now! POPICK Hey P.R., I think I heard Anglesault say back in 2004 that you should be cleaning toilets instead of wrestling in the ring! AS I WAS TALKING ABOUT MARIO LOGAN, YOU DUMBASS! PRL Say, isn’t Mario Hispanic himself? POPICK Why yes, I do believe he is. PRL There we go! More evidence for the jury! AS That had nothing to do with his race! Mario Logan’s an idiot! You know this, and I know this, Popick! POPICK Don’t use your revisionist history on me, ’Sault! I ain’t the WWE and you’re not Vince McMahon! AS Thank God. PRL So when should we start suing Popick? POPICK Oh, how about tomorrow, maybe? PRL That sounds good to me! Can’t wait! POPICK Me either! Anglesault stands up stunned. He tries to think of something to say in this awkward moment. ANGLESAULT Are you serious? PRL Serious as a heart attack, boss. ’Sault thinks this over. He takes a big sigh, and then comes to his decision. ANGLESAULT All right. All right! If it’ll stop a lawsuit...then...you guys will get the first crack at Heat and Fly’s Titles. PRL YES! HA! HA! Thank you Mr. ’Sault! It was pleasure doing business with you! POPICK Yeah! Thanks, "BUDDY"! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! PR and Popick high five each other. They go to leave, when suddenly, barging in through the door comes both members of D*LUX! PR and Popick’s smiles fade. ANGLESAULT Can’t you be bother to knock? PRL What are you two dweebs doing here? It’s too late! We got the first match against Heat and Fly! So nah, nah nah, nah nah! D*LUX are shocked! "TREMENDOUS" TYLER BRYANT Is this true? AS Yes. But ONLY to stop a lawsuit! TYLER Lawsuit? AS It’s a long story. "SHOWTIME" SHAYNE BRAVE Look, Mr. ’Sault, my partner and I have been SCREWED both times we fought these two men! We’ve never gotten a fair fight. Now that there are new HI-YAH World Tag Team Champions, Tag Team Champions we can TRUST, we wanted to know if you could grant us a shot at their belts. PRL It’s not gonna happen, D*SUX, because me and Popick are going to win OUR belts back at the first opportunity we get! TYLER Stay out of this, P.R.! POPICK Puerto’s right. There won’t need to be a D*LUX vs. Heat/Fly match for the Tag Team Titles! Because we’ll only need one match to take our belts back! PRL Hell yeah! TYLER Puerto, stop ripping other wrestlers off! PRL Well stop being in a sissy boyband, Tyler! D*LUX and PR/Popick stand up and get in each other’s faces. Words are exchanged, fingers are pointed. "Yo momma" jokes are told. Finally, to prevent a brawl from breaking out in his office, Anglesault steps in, yelling in that thick New York accent of his. ANGLESAULT ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT! PRL (pointing to Tyler) He started it. AS I DON’T CARE WHO STARTED IT! IT’S GOING TO END ONCE AND FOR ALL! D*LUX, PRL, and Popick pay attention to Anglesault. ANGLESAULT Now then, I know that you two, D*LUX, Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat have been at each other’s throats for a few months now. But the six of you have never been in a match together all at the same time. Well, that’s going to change. Because right now, I am making another match for Anglepalooza! It’s going to be Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly defending their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts against "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick-- PR/Popick raise their hands in the air. AS (CONT’D) AND D*LUX! PRL WHAT!? AS In a Triple Threat Tag Team Match! This feud is going to end once and for all, and it’s going to end at Anglepalooza on January 28th! This match will be the final confrontation between all six of you! PRL Anglesault? Boss, boobialla! You can’t be serious. AS I’m as serious as a heart attack, Puerto! PRL But I’ve gotta fight FOUR guys instead of two? It’s bad enough I’ve gotta fight Tweedle Dumb and Tweedle DUMBASS, but now I’ve gotta fight the two N*SYNC rejects? Come on! ANGLESAULT Hey, this was inevitable. And besides, YOU’RE the ones who started all of this with what you pulled at November Reign! So now, you’ve got to end it! PRL (whining) But I don’t wanna! AS You will, or else I will SUE YOU for breach of contract! POPICK He’s got us there. PRL (through his teeth) Shut up, Popick. ANGLESAULT So, there we go. Problem solved. January 28th, one team walks out the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions and THAT’S IT! No more feuding! It ends on January 28th! So if I were you, I’d start training right this instant, because you guys have NO idea how much harder a Triple Threat Tag Team Match is compared to a regular tag team match. NO IDEA. Now get the hell out of my office! PRL Oh man! AS I SAID GET OUT! PR and Popick whine and moan, while D*LUX look pretty satisfied with this announcement. Anglesault goes back to reading his newspaper, while P.R./Popick and D*LUX leave his office. PRL is still complaining as he leaves, taking his spray-painted black briefcase with him. PRL Triple Threat Tag Team Match? AWWWWWWW! D*LUX closes the door once they leave. Anglesault grabs a cigar, lights it up, and takes a puff. ANGLESAULT Just another day at the office. Anglesault continues smoking his cigar and reading his newspaper as the segment ends. FADE OUT

OAOAST.com EXCLUSIVE~! The camera cuts to the locker room where Colombian Heat and Spanish Fly are still celebrating their victory over "The Corporate Champion" Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph Popick. Spanish Fly has his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his right shoulder, while Heat has his HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belt over his left shoulder. Both men are smiling, and in a really good mood. SPANISH FLY Yo, I can't believe it! We did it! We beat Tha Puerto Rican, and now we're the HI-YAH Tag Team Champions! COLOMBIAN HEAT Yeah, dawg! I's is feelin' very happy right now, g! We've got tha belts, we've made those two silly bitches cry, AN', AN' we beat Tha Puerto Rican 1-2-3 in tha ring! SPANISH FLY (Laughing) Yeah. We did what we said we would do. But hey, how you holding up? Regarding Stacey, and what-not. HEAT It still hurts...but I'ma quickly gettin' ovah it. Havin' these Tag Team Titles sure helps, yah'mean!? FLY Yeah, buddy! Spanish Fly and Colombian Heat high five each other. They go back to laughing. SPANISH FLY A'ight, so we're the Tag Team Champions of HI-YAH right now. That means we gotta be on our toes 24/7. Everyone's gonna want a piece of us. HEAT I know dat. But I don't wanna think 'bout dat right now. Let's think about all of tha things, all the advantages dat come wit bein' Champions. Betta food. Betta clothes. Betta haircuts. Betta hotel rooms. Betta laundry service. And best of all? Betta cars! It's gonna be da bomb bein' Champions! You know what I'm sayin'? FLY Yeah. I hear ya. I hear ya. It's going to be great. I can't wait until we start defending these titles! HEAT Yeah...oooh! I's almost forgot one ding. Since we is Champions now, youse know what dat means... Spanish Fly smiles a wide smile and nods his head. Heat laughs. FLY Oh yeah. I know. SPANISH FLY & COLOMBIAN HEAT MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! MO' MONEY! Heat and Fly continue chanting "MO' MONEY!" in the lockerroom. Heat and Fly dance a little bit. They wave their HI-YAH World Tag Team Championship belts high in the air, waving them like they just don't care. They continue dancing while chanting, "MO MONEY!" as we fade out. FADE OUT

I'm almost done with Heat/Fly vs. PR/Popick.

Bischoff had his character down from day one. Watching the segment, how he tranforms from announcer Bischoff to evil, slimeball Bischoff is seamless! I watched some of the Nitro from the week after, and he was EXACTLY how he would be for the rest of the original nWo run.

Having 24/7 allowed me to finally watch the Nitro when Bischoff joined the nWo. Man, what a great segment. The heat was amazing. I had no idea that the fans threw so much garbage into the ring once the nWo arrived. That segment was played out perfectly.