The Czech Republic

I thought they didn't want a team!!!!! Argh stupid Portland. They're not supposed to actually HAVE any teams sans the Blazers, Portland is just the sports world's empty threat.

Charles Barkley was my spoiler...all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he just yells "Damn! Roy Jones got knocked out! Roy Jones just got knocked out!" in the middle of the halftime report.

I'm watching my Reds game. What song? Well that's the thing I don't know the name offhand. It's mostly trumpets, and goes, dot-dot-dot, dah-dah-dot, dot-dot dah-doo-dot, daah-doo-dot, dah-dah dahhh dahhh dahh dahhhhhhhh....something like that, only, you know, with pitches assigned to the notes. F-E-F, F-E-F, C-B-C-C# maybe?

I heard that song again on the Lakers game...what the hell is that called? AHHHHHHH

??? I think he means that they were the victims of bias. That is what I mean.

It should just be Hampton Roads so as not to screw up alignment. Or even better...Montreal

I'm a smark. But I'm a thin slob.

In my younger and more vulnerable years, I imagined Scott Keith as a youthful handsome man with shoulder-length blonde hair parted down the middle. I'm not kidding. I really did.

You bring up a good point, Mr. Sault. I did not even realize the Schilling-Johnson reunion that would happen. The Red Sox do need a a 5-man rotation. Hmm.

Hey, Teal Dude, I don't see the Utah Jazz bagging all the nationally televised ABC games... But, the Mavericks? The Mavericks are a fan-friendly team. I mean, they won me over. They score a lot whether they win or lose, the games are often close, and watching Cuban and Nelson is always amusing. Nowitzki and Nash are cool. Nuff said. Commemorating the life and legacy of Dr. King with the whitest team in basketball? If the NBA doesn't give a shit about gameplay, why should we? We've seen the Blazers and Kings get extreme ref bias to make sure a big-market team made the Finals. Don't even try to make a case for ratings not counting.

Randy Johnson isn't going to the Yankees. Not going to happen.

What a great game. Windy City Heartbreakers: Eagles shoot down the shocking 2001 Bears in the divisionals and close out Soldier Field with a whimper. Meanwhile the Rams beat the Packers, and just think: A Chicago-Green Bay NFC Championship. The things that could've been. Instead, the Bears moved to Champaign-Urbana for a year, sucked, came back home, and "home" was evidently abducted by aliens whilst the Bears were at U of I. The Jerrys dismantle the 6-time championship-winning Chicago Bulls, as Chicago loses Jordan, Jackson, Pippen, and Rodman in one fell swoop. Bill Wirtz's ownership of the Chicago Blackhawks. 'Nuff said. The Hawks haven't really had any moment of heartbreak, it's just been an ongoing dismal run, one that for all intents and purposes, is completely hopeless. Demolishing the Chicago Stadium certainly didn't elicit joy in the hearts of Chicago athletes or fans. I mean, it made Michael Jordan retire the first time, along with his dad's murder. (Gambling? Huh? No. Stadium and dad.) Honorable mention to the south siders who saw the old Comiskey Park (actually looked like a cool park) get replaced with the new Comiskey, which was then corporate-named in '03. That had to hurt. Well then. Bears, Bulls, Sox, Hawks, I think that basically covers all the heartbreaking moments for Chicago. Thanks for reading. Oh? Yes. I knew I forgot SOMETHING. But what's left to say?

I'm aware. I'm just saying those markets came into being with the losses of the four you mentioned. Bad losses too, since with hockey especially, it's more of a per capita thing than gross numbers when it comes to market size. On a related and stupid note, I remember reading that the Carolina Hurricanes don't consider themselves to be part of the Hartford Whalers. Granted, it's not good history there, but it's better than nothing. On Bettman: for the Gordie Howe episode of Sportscentury, Bettman lamented not having Gordie in the NHL during his reign as commissioner, as follows: "It's a shame that Gordie Howe wasn't around recently, because he was just great, I mean, "Mr. Hockey," that's something you can really market." You stupid fuck.

Hey, Teal Dude, I don't see the Utah Jazz bagging all the nationally televised ABC games...

I heard just the beard. Charity notwithstanding, we can't risk the hair. He may have developed a Samson complex, and we do want the Red Sox in the World Series, do we not?

And one thing I like about the Maloof brothers is their name. Maloof. Just say it a couple times. Maloof. Maaaaa-loooooooooooooof. I'm Gavin Maloof, bitch.

What's wrong with Johnny Damon growing his hair out? I'm growing my hair out. Does that make me a classless asshole? No. (Because I was one with short hair too.) I don't think there's a true correlation between well-groomed hair and no beard and success. Otherwise, the '89 Flames never would've won with that caveman McDonald at the helm.

It's gonna be pretty unwatched too. But then again so will any non-Mavericks, non-Lakers final in this year's NBA. Geez.

What a little shit. I hope you get sent to the Bobcats.

It's a sad irony, but Wayne Gretzky is to blame for Sun Belt expansion. If he wasn't traded out of Edmonton, the L.A. Kings would kept sucking up the joint with 4,000 a night coming to watch them get beat by Winnipeg and Calgary in their ugly Lakers-esque sweaters. But then they got the Great One and everyone decided to watch them beat Winnipeg and Calgary in their ugly Raiders-esque sweaters. Bettman is an idiot. The teams that came into being under his watch are: Dallas Stars Anaheim Mighty Ducks Florida Panthers Colorado Avalanche Phoenix Coyotes Carolina Hurricanes Nashville Predators Atlanta Thrashers Columbus Blue Jackets Minnesota Wild Congratulations, Gary, maybe 3 out of 10 aren't an embarassment to the sport.

I hate the Lakers for various and obvious reasons, but I don't want to see another Spurs-Nets final. It'd be like the back-to-back Bulls-Jazz finals, but, you know, crappy.

All the good arenas are gone. Forum, MLG, Chicago Stadium, Olympia, Boston Garden. Wrigley and Fenway for best ballparks. Football stadiums...who cares? They're all more or less the same to me. Then you've got "Soldier Field" and frankly I'm not sure WHAT they were going for with that.