Kinetic

No, I don't see any reason why New England would win fewer than 12 games this season. Easy schedule, dynamic offense, comprehensive library of opponent's defensive signals, enthusiastic fanbase...this team is built to win, baby. I hope they don't, though, I hate them.

With the bulk of the preseason games out of the way and the regular season less than two weeks away, let's assess what we anticipate our teams doing this year and what we would be willing to consider a successful season. I feel like the Bucs are poised to be exactly as good as they were last year, which is to say slightly above average. While the defense should be top five, the offense will likely be somewhere in the middle of the pack unless guys like Antonio Bryant, Earnest Graham, and Dexter Jackson set the world on fire, which I don't envision happening. One encouraging thing about the offense has been the play of the starting line this preseason, which should open holes for the backs and provide plenty of time for whatever washed-up reject we have starting at QB. So, yeah, I'd say above average team, good for anywhere between 8 and 10 wins. That might not be good enough in our division this year. It's really difficult to say what I'd consider a successful season, however, because the lack of youth in some fairly key areas suggests that Gruden and the FO think they're fielding a big winner this season. If it seemed like we were building toward something, I'd be totally happy with winning the division and making it to the second round of the playoffs. As it is, I'd have to say that anything short of a conference championship appearance will be a disappointment. As such, I'm prepared to be disappointed.

Just got around to watching this show. Really funny, I probably liked it better than The Office.

When not diarrhea, they will be thin and gooey. Never float, always sink to the bottom of the bowl.

And the bloody shit (which really only happened once, for the record) was the trigger for all of this. I was perfectly normal prior to that, but have been a dizzy, sickly mess ever since. But emphasizing this point at the doctor's office took me down the dead-end street of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, which got me prescribed another useless medication.

Diet is a lot of sandwiches. Tuna fish. Burritos. Hamburgers. Not a lot of fruits or vegetables. Vices are smoking, drinking, and staring at myself in the mirror. No medications. Clean living conditions, although I lived in relative squalor when symptoms first presented themselves.

I took the anti-depressants for a while, but stopped because I didn't think I was getting anything out of it. They were useful in getting the panic attacks under control, but that was largely a "mind over matter" sort of deal anyway and I think I could have done it without pills. Yeah, MS, that's the Montel disease, right? So you can lead a normal life with it, maybe even host your own talk show. It is so like me to develop a chronic, incurable disease of the central nervous system. Just my luck.

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Well, the girlfriend has a cat and this all started long before we moved in together. I do have numbness, tingling, and other strange sensations in my extremities, as well as a lot of involuntary twitching of the limbs. If you go into a free clinic (or a nearly free clinic) with a laundry list of mysterious symptoms, chances are they're going to think you're either crazy or full of shit and just prescribe you some anti-depressants. This is what happened to me. All of my blood work came out normal, as did my shit and piss samples. So I don't know. I think I'm going to have to collapse before they'll do anything for me.

First correct diagnosis gets a copy of the piping hot new Jung Billz album. So I came down with some sort of illness in late June of 2006. Here's a rundown of my symptoms: Balance problems- I'm constantly unsteady on my feet and when walking will feel like the ground is sagging underneath me. This is worse some times than others, but is a constant issue. Digestive problems- I feel pretty nauseous most of the time. The consistency and color of my shit has changed entirely and I have frequent bouts of diarrhea. Eating will often worsen my balance issues. Cognitive problems- On a daily basis, I will experience a fog settling over my brain that makes it difficult to think clearly or remember anything. This usually only lasts for a few hours, but will sometimes continue until I go to sleep. Vision problems- My vision has become permanently clouded by a sea of flashing dots. Some are what are referred to as "floaters," while some are just tiny white flashing lights that never stop. I also sometimes experience double vision, particularly when listening to the Foreigner song "Double Vision." I'm starting to think multiple sclerosis. I'm not a doctor, however, and as I have no insurance and no money, it's unlikely that I'm going to get that verified by anybody who is any time soon. So what says you, TSM? EDIT: Oh, yeah, constant fatigue, too. Can't forget that.

rainy day woman is my least fav dylan song from the classic era. the only thing close to a mistep on blonde on blonde, actually. I'm pretty lukewarm on "Leopardskin Pillbox Hat," although the lyrics are kind of amusing. I'm having a hell of a time coming up with anything for this thread. I mean, all my favored artists have songs that I'm not crazy about, but I can't think of any that I actively hate. I guess I've always thought that Bowie's cover of "Let's Spend the Night Together" was a wretched waste of time.

I rather like that one. "Lay Lady Lay," too.

Nice guy, though.

Longtime reader, first time poster. I found this place Googling around for a spot where I could talk wrestling and share photos of my dick with open-minded singles. So, The Smart Marks, huh? That's a pretty silly name, where'd that come from, huh? You guys like John Cena? I think he's all right, but "The Animal" Batista is my fave. I saw him at Kohl's one time, nice guy, even bigger than he looks on TV. Anyway, PM me if you want a picture of my dick. This board seems totally cool, really great, hope to be here for awhile.

I so desperately wanted one of those saggin' Bugs Bunny shirts in 1993. I thought that getting my ear pierced and wearing a hip-hop "Looney Tunes" t-shirt and a pair of jeans backwards would make me the dopest 10 year old in all of Winston-Salem. Looking back, I'm glad that my mother refused.

I made up the thing about Zsasz being a GNR fan. It did seem plausible, though, didn't it?

Chicago's defense (including the starting unit) got lit up tonight. This team has question marks at quarterback, running back, wide receiver, every offensive line position, and apparently at several defensive positions. Their special teams should be solid though, except on kick return coverage, where they'll struggle. 4-12.

I'll give this a shot: 1. "The Modern Age" 2. "Last Nite" 3. "Under Control" 4. "You Only Live Once" 5. "Hard to Explain"

A real QB showcase tonight on Fox, as Kyle Orton's Chicago Bears take on J.T. O'Sullivan and the San Francisco 49ers. It's the third preseason game, too, so these talented youngsters should be on the field well into the second quarter.

I work nights all but two days a week, so it's likely that I'll have to pre-rank and let the thing draft for me.

So he's diagnosed with cancer on Sunday and is dead by Thursday? Terrifying.

I call for a national age of consent. Put it somewhere around the 9-10 area. The legal drinking would then be set at 12. Old enough to bleed, old enough to...drink. Beer.

Should Tebow win a second Heisman this year, I feel that it would be appropriate--nay, necessary--for me to tattoo some reminder of the feat on my person. What tattoo and where? Perhaps Urban Warfare and I could get a split heart tattoo, one spelling "Te" and the other "Bow." What says you?

Lower the age of consent, then lower the legal drinking age. We're doing this in the wrong order.

I never really cared for them, but I had quite a few blob-like stoner friends for whom they were the pinnacle of popular music. They're better than Staind, I'll give em that.