Kinetic

Evander Holyfield's Missing Ear.

The asterisk has been added. Awesome.

So I guess that the blueprint for hanging with New England is blanketing Moss, pressuring Brady, and hoping that your offense can outscore them. So Baltimore has no chance. Pittsburgh, maybe?

I call foul, Pizza Hut's Game Face. You have to wait at least until the final whistle of the Monday night game to start next week's thread. You may feel that you've gotten the glory here, but it will be forever tainted by an asterisk of shame and illegitimacy and shame. And it looks like this: *

"Redondo Beach" is good. I liked this album quite a bit a few years ago, but I never have any desire to listen to it anymore. The "My Generation" cover is alarmingly sans stuttering, so what's the point?

I just want my kids back.

I hope you don't kiss your unborn child with that mouth.

I think they provide better-than-usual coverage of NFL Network games on NFL.com this season. I'll find out how comprehensive it is, because that's probably what I'll end up doing for this game. If it's just the stats and moving, colored lines GameCenter thing, then fuck it. I'll catch the highlights after the thing. Question my fanhood if you must.

I got this piece of crap on a local station, but will have to scramble to catch next Thursday's Dallas-Green Bay game. Damn you, NFL Network!

No. He still sounds like Kermit the Frog and he's made a bunch of headscratching calls and observations. Collinsworth is good, though.

@Minnesota, Dallas, @San Diego, Kansas City, @Green Bay Packers. That's three pretty tough road games for a team that can't win on the road. I can see them winning @ Minnesota and maybe beating Kansas City at home. I guess 7-9 or 8-8 could conceivably be good enough to get in as a wild card in the NFC.

So much for a good Detroit performance on Thanksgiving. I don't think this team makes the playoffs, which would leave the door open for...who? The odd man out between Arizona and Seattle in the West? Philadelphia?

I found out that I'm a watercolor artist of some renown and am running as a democrat in Missouri's 35th district.

The Bicycles- The Good, the Bad, and the Cuddly. Really good.

Yes, I am thankful for slow but sure island justice. I am also thankful for all of the great veterinarians around the country and the wonderful work they do; the emergence of Jeff Garcia as a legit Pro Bowl contender in Tampa Bay; the success of Chris Daughtry; Sharpie-brand Sharpies; the Exploited Babysitters website; and all of my friends here at the Smart Marks, past and present.

Christmas is for family, Thanksgiving is for solitude and quiet contemplation of the year just passed and the holiday shopping season to come. I am alone today. All alone.

I worked in a hot dog shop for a while. With a quality dog, anything tastes good on it. The Chicago is probably the best, but that nasty-ass cheese sauce, chili, and habanero relish is a personal favorite.

An old roommate of mine named his cat Miss Mandible after a Donald Barthelme short story. I thought it was ridiculous and pretentious. Everyone ended up calling her Mandy.

It was the short hair coupled with the vest, I think. Made him look like a skinny Lex Luger.

They have San Francisco's first round pick next year. That's almost certainly a top ten pick...I don't know about first overall.

Who wrote my entry? That is piss poor. I think I've earned something a little more grand, wouldn't you say? Here's what I'd write if I cared enough to do so, which I obviously don't because I'm totally above all of this shit and am about five minutes away from getting off of the computer to do something completely awesome and mindblowing: "Kinetic was a key contributor to the board during the so-called Golden Age of TSM, as well as being perhaps the most acclaimed writer for the short-lived and largely worthless main page. He was the driving creative force behind many of the early TSM's greatest threads and was the catalyst for the board's shift from primarily wrestling-based discussion to an anything-goes hodgepodge of witless quips and go-nowhere gimmick posters. He arguably peaked in 2003, when, while on a three day cough medicine binge, he created--and killed off--the character of Metal Ed, TSM's greatest gimmick poster. Kinetic's long hiatus from message boarding recently ended when his job as a staff writer on the hit FOX sitcom Til Death was interrupted due to the WGA strike."

Yeesh. Good god. They can't hammer out another six weeks of Who Wants to Marry a Midget? or Who's Your Daddy? These new reality shows look terrible!

No blackout in Atlanta this week, hopefully. This is one of the rare opportunities I have to watch the Bucs play without having to leave the house.

What was that all about?

You're the pedialy...oh, wait, is that some kind of medication? I have packets of vitamin c drink mix. I think I'm too hungover to walk to the store for cigarettes. Anyone here live in Athens, GA and want to make a quick 75 cents?