Nighthawk

Kotz took his eighth grader pills before he wrote that.

I'll yell things at the screen in your honor. Anyway, that's why I'm going to the late show. It's like a three hour movie, kids don't generally stay up that late. It should be mostly nerds. They'll appreciate my humor. When they kill Cedric, I intend to yell "That's gotta hurt!"

Yeah, I lied too, I'm actually being escorted to Harry Potter by Doug Simpson, the big man on campus.

Yeah, but I'm probably sexier than you. In any case, I have to see Harry Potter, but if anybody asks, I went to an orgy.

Now something has suddenly come up this evening. I hope my present is still good tomorrow.

I said it in a Jack Nicholson voice, but that doesn't really come across in text.

Oh, Marney just doesn't make sense. Like this one time she wanted me to read this Star Trek femslash without any filth in it, and listen to a song about it at the same time. I tried, but I couldn't even enjoy it a chainsaw massacre kind of way.

I've only done it with two people, and once was as a joke. I tried one other time, but only because Marney cybered with Kotz. She was either too drunk or not enough.

That's a god damn lie.

Thank you, lady and gentlemen. I eagerly anticipate my present.

Yeah, I saw this movie on dvd recently and was fairly dissapointed. I got more Pee Wee Herman than Michael Jackson out of Depp's performance.

If you have a family member who needs a handicapped parking space, you can use it all the time, even when they're not there. I know this because a guy I know has a crippled son. They gave them passes for all their vehicles.

I've noticed you always confuse "has" and "as." Simple mistake to make, if you're developmentally disabled. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I'm just a lazy dumbass. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> By the way, being a lazy dumbass is a developmental disability.

"I'm naked under my clothes." gets a good reaction sometimes.

I've heard variations of that a few times, often with "Isn't he dead?" I also know people who refer to Family Matters and The Simpsons as "Urkel" and "Bart Simpson", respectively.

People who cry over a wrestler's death, I'd be interested to know what else they cry over. I don't fault them, Rosie Greer says it's alright to cry. But I'd be curious. Like, some people cry when their favorite band breaks up. Or at the end of Old Yeller. It's acceptable to cry there, and that's a dog, and on top of that they didn't really kill him. What's so bad about a wrestler?

Oh, I wanted to see that! Thanks for ruining it.

Oh, "Smack My Bitch Up". I love that song.

I certainly can.

I wonder how well fucking your way to the top works for a guy...

I ate a coyote once and it was disgusting. Because they're scavengers, you see, their meat tastes rotten.

What was that song that went "Niggas ain't runnin' a fuckin' thing but they mouth"? I legitimately don't remember.

Performance, but not art. Proper wrestling is more like ballet. That isn't an insult.

I find it rather transfixing.

I'm emotionally attached to my penis. Wait, I mean physically.