Boner Kawanger

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c-gY3yWEqFc I brought this match up when we found out about Festival of Fights. Maybe a better match, sure, but it has Kevin Nash on commentary.

It wasn't the first time a girl had blindfolded me, but it had never happened in a car before. Luckily, I was in the passenger seat, otherwise this amazing story would be lost. Lost like tears in the rain. How deep. Karen was a cool enough girl. Kinda cute, but her best friend was constantly at her side and even more constantly gorgeous, so that hindered her a bit. It didn't matter. She was nice to me and, over the Christmas break, she'd actually gone out of her way to help me out. The troubles of the auto industry had forced my parents into another state, and Karen was one of the few people who fed me while I waited for mom and dad to return home. Genuine care is hard to come by in my hometown, unless you're looking for someone who cares too much about drugs. I don't do drugs. Just marijuana. Yeah, that's from Half Baked. Almost verbatim. I woke up in the guest room of my best friend, Will. Longtime TSM devotees may recall that I had troubles with producers from MTV in the past, and Will was right alongside me. His parents were out of town for a short term basis, and we had thrown a party at his house the night before. Since he wouldn't be awake until five in the evening, I crept downstairs to make a sandwich. My phone rang. It was Karen. She had to take a trip a few hours north. I asked where she was going. She couldn't tell me, so I immediately knew where we were going. I met up with her soon, and we hit the interstate. This was last year, so the remembrances are as scarce as they are inconsequential. As we crossed a state line, she told me to wrap her scarf around my eyes. Never one to deny a lady, I did so without question. I guess if people weren't so willing to be blindfolded to be driven to the Batcave in old Batman stories, I'd have protested, but here we are. If I may interject a thought, I'd like to offer up the fact that I was obsessed with Batman as a child, which may explain my fascination with secret passages. I think that deep down everyone wishes that the book they pull from a shelf will swing a hidden door open to a Nazi laboratory or a spiral stone staircase into the unknown. This becomes important later. We arrived at a house (or so I assume, as I was still blindfolded), and she led me inside. Karen said she had something in the basement to show me. Blindfolded and being led into a strange basement, I wondered what would be worse-being held against my will until I was forced to eat my own excrement or having my asshole torn asunder by a 90-pound girl wearing a strap-on. Then I wondered which one of those thoughts have me half a woody. Karen removed the scarf. As my eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lighting, I was relieved to see no torture rack or shackles. Kinda. We were just in someone's marginally cool basement, complete with a pool table. "Do you play?" Karen asked me, an excitement in her eyes that pool doesn't generate for anyone. I answered her, "Not very well". "Try it out," she commanded. I walked over to the wall and reached for the first pool cue on the left. As I felt the weight of it in my hand, I heard Karen say "Not that one". "Don't tell me how to handle my stick, please." I'd been watching too many Roger Moore-era James Bond movies, and I somehow was failing to get my double entendres to that level. "I just think you'd have better luck with the third one," she replied. I shrugged. If I'd allowed her to practically abduct me here, I may as well be taking her advice. I felt the pool cue in my hand but something was different. I couldn't pick it up. But I could pull it. I did, and I heard a clank. Something had been unlocked. No. Impossible. The wall swung open. A hidden panel. For what sinister purpose, I couldn't tell, because the basement had been illumined by sunlight. Artificial sunlight. My eyes focused again. Karen had brought me to a small grow operation, hidden away by a secret passage. Stuff that had passed the High Times centerfold contest. The same stuff that a Grammy award winning band came by and picked up whenever they could. Stuff that smells like what a skunk would smell like if that aroma was considered pleasing. It wasn't a giant harvest, bit it dwarfed the pool table. It may as well have been a field. A sight upon which I may have wept, had I any tears left. Now I don't want to push a drug agenda or come off looking like a stoner, so I won't say whether or not we smoked a shit ton of fire weed, but I did bang Karen on the pool table. Twice.

Theone is right. If I've never seen Logan's Run, I'm nothing but a 19 year old retard. Would anyone be averse to me posting a thread about my awesome life* now that I'm on ignore and can't read it? I think it'll be kinda kooky. *Includes stories about secret passages

If you don't love Test then get out

Mellowfuljoy, what is your av from? Looks like an aluminum Michael Myers. Someonegreat says I have credentials. Let's list them right here: 1)Doesn't take wrestling or message boards very seriously 2)Is on theone's ignore list 3)Has never revealed the secret of the Wu Tang Clan

Wow, I had no idea there was a thread about me in site feedback. Since the one can't read my posts, someone tell him I'm 22, not 19. And also tell him I smoke weed every day. That'll show him what an adult I am

You can insult Enigma, just not his newz

Redrum-that's murder spelled backwards, Don!

How damn long will it take E to ditch the hideous spinner belt?, We've cena nuff is the best thread. All the hot new posters are there. It's a venerable collection of Rookies of the Year.

Every season of every HBO show on DVD has been 50% off at Best Buy since the 21st, and I just found out today, the day the sale ends. So if you can get to a Best Buy tonight and want a season of Curb or something, sally forth.

Read threads before posting please

Button-mashy. More or less the same sort as the Acclaim WWF games. Did it get released in America? I couldn't find any evidence after I posted the list.

I think Flair was dealing with some kind of vertigo/inner ear problem at this time. He tells a funny story about it in his shoot interview. I'm paraphrasing here, but he talks about having the Lloyd's of London policy and being due a hefty sum due to his ear problem. So the day to collect finally comes around after months of dealing with it, and Flair wakes up (next to a woman he refuses to name in order to protect her) and finds that the problem is completely gone. Frustrated, he exclaims "SHIT!" and tells his mistress why he won't be collecting millions of dollars that morning.

Here's the supposed list of Japanese VC releases for next month: Famicom: * Tantei Jinguji Saburo Kikena Faturi (January 6th) * Getsufuu Maden * Zoids: Mokushiroku Nintendo 64: * Super Smash Bros. Sega Master System: * Fantasy Zone II Sega Mega Drive: * Wonder Boy III: Monster Lair (January 6th) PC Engine: * Rastan Saga II (January 6th) * Kaze no Densetsu Xanadu II (CD) * Spriggan Mark 2 (CD) * Champion Wrestler Does anyone know how Champion Wrestler is?

You should take it back and get MLB Power Pros, the best baseball game available. Everybody else has mentioned everything I would have, but I got Boom Blox for Christmas and had an insanely fun time playing it in one player and with my friends last night. You might can find it for around $30. My Blockbuster had a new copy for $27.99.

We do all of our stuff on Christmas Eve at this point. My uncle gave me $41.28 in bills and change. It was awesome.

Fuckin' Christmas, man...I can't believe I'm missing all this AND the Goldberg crap

Irony Alert: TheFranchise is reading our discussion on burning bridges, and I was just about to bring up Target's own Shane Douglas

Going against your supervisor's wishes and getting hurt and then signing with the competition is kinda the definition of "burning a bridge"

Easy there, buuuuuuudddy

I always looked at the AJ/Kurt/Karen thing as Angle and some of the bookers saying "The original love triangle you had with Steph and Hunter was great, but everyone hated the ending, so we're gonna fix it and do it right!" and then I don't remember how it ended but I bet it was bad

On the other hand, Dolph Ziggler introducing himself one by one to the other guys in MITB would be a 'Mania moment.

None of that makes much sense, RHR

The episode where Dick Grayson quits is equally good

She got hit in the 'gina dude. That's short for VA-gina. As in her pussy. Canadian Destroyer has a huge avatar and I don't and since I'm drunk it vexes me. There were a lot of misspelled words in this post but I'm a perfectionist with spellcheck.