kkktookmybabyaway

Better late than never, I guess. "It is what it is" has been around for a while, at least in my neck of the woods. About eight years ago my mom accidentally called the now Mrs. kkk my ex-girlfriend's name while talking to her on the phone. Of course, this resulted in the usual joyful banter that comes with a situation like this, but I wasn't mad. When I told this story to my one friend, he didn't understand how I was so calm and mellow about the situation. I shrugged and said, "What's the point? It is what it is."

Here is a list of those that look good and bad in HDTV. Funny thing is in the 2005 list that can be found by clicking on a link on that page, Bush and Clinton are listed as those suffereing from HDTV. It's funny (and a little sad) to watch how Presidents age from their first year in office to their last.

• I thought we were over nitpicking animated/G-rated movies after the “outrage” over “The Lion King” and its RACIST overtones, what with the evil hyenas being black and all, but apparently I was wrong. Now these family films are SEXIST. According to some hippie study, male characters outnumbered female characters 3-to-1 overall in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990-2004. From the article: "Joe Kelly, co-founder of Dads & Daughters, said as much as he loves 'Toy Story,' the study made him think about the movie differently. The movie has a positive message about two characters - Tom Hanks' Woody and Tim Allen's Buzz Lightyear - overcoming their differences and working together, but it does have a flaw, Kelly said. 'It wasn't until the study that I went back and realized there's only one toy that's a female character, and it's Bo-Peep. She's standing at the window going, 'Oh, Woody, don't hurt yourself,'" Kelly said. "Not that I want 'Toy Story' to be changed. I don't think there should be any sort of gender formula. But there are other movies to be made with powerful messages featuring female characters.' Well, whenever a kid's movie featuring a strong female character, see it a bunch of times in the theater and buy the 20 DVD versions that come out. Give movie studios a reason to make more of the same. And while you’re at it, go produce a study comparing the ratio of male-to-female evil characters on Lifetime Movies of the Week. While there are too many men in kid’s movies, apparently there aren’t enough in the doll world. After a two-year absence, Ken is going back to Barbie. I’m not too keen on the life and times of dolls, but from what I read these two kids split up after more than 40 years of cohabitation (I'm surprised they last this long, what with Ken missing some essential parts to his male anatomy). To add insult to injury in this breakup, Barbie took off with a new Aussie mate named Blaine. But now Ken is back on the scene. What was he doing all this time? Well, according to the N.Y. Times, "Ken, heartbroken, traveled the world in search of himself, making stops in Europe and the Middle East, dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism, teaching himself to cook and slowly weaning himself off a beach bum life." I’ll say this: These toys have more back story than a number of movies I’ve recently seen. Even though I’m poking fun at Barbie (and making fun of Ken’s inability to “poke” at Barbie, as well), I do feel pity for them. After all, with more and more kids avoiding toys that don’t need a microchip or URL, playing with dolls or action figures seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. I hate to sound like an old-timer, but back in my day, even though I spent way more time with my Atari 2600 than I should have, there was always a place in my heart for playing with my Star Wars action figures in the backyard. • Look, I get that Democrats don’t like President Bush, but is it really necessary for Howard Dean to say things like “"All we ask is that we not turn into a country like Iran where the President can do anything he wants"? You are aware that in another in 2-3 more years Bush will be leaving the presidency forever. Now if he stays in the Oval Office past 2008 then I’ll join Howie and Harry Reid in calling for W.’s removal from office. But until then, can you please lay off the “dictator” talk; say he’s a miserable failure, say he sucks, say he doesn’t care about women, minorities and the poor, but please stop with whining about how we’re turning into some Third-World country where the person in charge stays that way until he A) dies, or B) is overthrown. Saying stuff like this only makes you guys look silly. On second thought, keep up the good work.

$2100 -- damnit, that could have been an extra $40 a week for the both of us this past year.

Well let's just see how your better half looks like after she pops out a kid. BTW: Are you two lovebirds thinking about producing some demonspawn? Oh, and I've heard that Cameron Diaz is one of the worst screen-to-real-life differences in the looks department.

It's been long enough; a mod can un-pin this thread now. Thanks to all for participating, a few notes for next year: If you already claimed your team for next year, I will PM you at the start of the preseason to get your EPs. This is so I don't shortchange someone who may not check into TSM every day during the summer; giving a month to submit EPs is more than fair, imo. As it stands now, here is how the league will look next season. If you're interested now in claiming an open team and didn't have a team this year at TSM or the other place PM me. AFC EAST Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) New England Patriots (Nl-asshole) New York Jets (Gert T) AFC NORTH Baltimore Ravens (Dr. Tom) Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) AFC SOUTH Houston Texans (Bored) Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) AFC WEST Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) Kansas City Chiefs Oakland Raiders San Diego Chargers (Porter) NFC EAST Dallas Cowboys (Marvin Is A Lunatic) New York Giants (Cartman) Philadelphia Eagles: (The Real World's Champion) Washington Redskins (Human Fly) NFC NORTH Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) Minnesota Vikings NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King of the 909) Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) New Orleans Saints (Cena's Writer) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) NFC WEST Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne, or whatever he calls himself now) San Francisco 49ers (Agent Bond34) Seattle Seahawks (C Dubya 04) St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist)

• No wonder George W. Bush doesn’t care about black people –– look at how he was treated at Coretta Scott King’s funeral. Even though she was the dead one at this house of worship, it seemed that some of the speakers at the event were trying to bury the President of the United States. Culprit A was Rev. Joseph Lowry when he said, "We know now that there were no weapons of mass destruction over there. But Coretta knew, and we know, that there are weapons of misdirection right down here.” Culprit B was former president Jimmy Carter, who wasn’t much better by bringing up “secret wire tapping” along with racially charged drivel about Hurricane Katrina. These two dipshits said what they did with the intention of belittling the president, who was seated nearby and had to take these insults with a smile. Didn’t these people learn anything from the Paul Wellstone memorial a few years ago? Keep the insults coming, I say, and watch Bush look like a sympathetic figure more and more each and every time. • Here's what I don't get about Democrats. Hitlery is the latest lib to say that Republicans are playing the "fear card" of terrorism to win elections. And just what in the blue hell does your party do, senator? Whenever election season comes around, what exactly do you call saying that the GOP wants to starve children, throw the elderly in the gutter, pollute the planet, cut social security, slash Medicare, encourage hate crimes, among other things? I'll save my left-leaning friends the trouble of hitting the Fast Reply button and typing in "I call it the truth -- lolz." • A list of the top 10 tech jobs was recently released, and after looking at this list I must agree with these rankings, considering I have no idea what most of the job titles mean. • Monday Night Football is not only moving to a new station, but it's also getting a new announcing team. Replacing Al Michaels and John Madden will be Joe Theismann, Tony Kornheiser and Mike Tirico. Eh. Don't really care. I was probably one of the only people in this world that didn't mind the Sunday Night crew of Theismann, Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire, although it wouldn't have killed them to say a team they were commenting on was "average" or "not quite up to playoff caliber." Even though I have some issues with Michael Wilbon, I wouldn't mind having him replace Theismann in this lineup. This way we could listen for three hours of him and Kornheiser bicker back and forth, much like they do on “Pardon The Interruption.” However, I'd be sure to have the TV on mute whenever the Philadelphia Eagles are slated to appear during a telecast; the knob-slobbing of Donovan McNabb would be too much, even for Patrick to bear. • The Brazilian government is planning on passing out 25 million condoms during the country's Carnival holiday, which is scheduled to start on February 25. Two things: 1) Even though the rate of failure among condoms is debated, let’s just assume for this instance that the failure rate is three percent. That means if you go to this festival, get a rubber from the government and do your thing, you could have one of the 750,000 that won’t stop your boys from getting out, or from anything else getting inside of you. 2) I wouldn’t eat government cheese, why would I slide something onto my winky that was given to me by the State? • So there I was scouring the Internet looking for a photo of Britney Spears driving around with her kid sitting on her lap when I came across this blurb: “The paparazzi came to Britney Spears aid this week when the car which she was driving broke down on a busy road in Malibu. According to reports, Spears was driving her husband's Ferrari near her Malibu home when it suddenly cut out, leaving her stranded on a very busy highway.” Her husband’s Ferrari? Uh-huh. Oh, and here is that stupid picture. • So USA Today is speaking out against those who are cowering in the face Muslims offended by cartoons. In a February 8 editorial titled, “Shameful Appeasement, the article says, “What's clear is that East and West are not just cultures apart, but centuries, and that certain elements of the Muslim world would like to drag us back into the Dark Ages. What is also clear is that the West's own leaders, both in Europe and the USA, as well as many of our own journalists, have been weak-spined when it comes to defending the principles of free expression that the artists in Denmark were exploring.” Now after reading this editorial, you would think that USA Today would stand in solidarity with its Global Media brethren and show it’s readers what the fuss is all about with these drawings? In a February 7 USA Today’s Life section column, Deputy World Editor Jim Michaels said, "(At USA Today) we concluded that we could cover the issue comprehensively without republishing the cartoon, something clearly offensive to many Muslims. It's not censorship, self or otherwise.” • And speaking of these offensives cartoons, I have come up with a way to bring everybody together on this issue. Maybe even Allah will chill out for a few minutes before getting mad at us infidels again.

What is he calling himself now? And what was his "final post" at the other place?

Married With Children is on several stations in my area. And don't be hating Mama's Family.

• Remember what I said yesterday about idiots in my area that complained Bill Cowher could never get past the Conference Championship Game? Well, this morning as I was doing some work outside of my office, I got to listen to one dipshit co-worker of mine talk with another about Sunday’s game. Instead of saying how great it was for Shittsburgh (and he is a Steeler fan) to finally win a Super Bowl, all he did was bitch about how horrible Ben Roethlisberger played. When the person he was talking to said that Ben’s performance could have been due to nerves, his reply was “that’s no excuse.” I love this town. • Speaking of the Super Bowl, a controversy that didn’t take place on the field involved the pre-game ceremony. In one of the more interesting moments in recent Super Bowl history, nearly every Super Bowl MVP was introduced before kickoff. However, two of the better known MVPs, quarterbacks Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, were missing. Some media outlets have claimed that Montana wanted a $100,000 appearance fee for attending this event, while Bradshaw said he didn’t want to take part in order to spend more time with his family. (Montana has since said that him asking for $100k is not true.) Believe each quarterback’s story or not, that’s up to you. However, I don’t fault either man for not attending this event; it was their choice. For as much money as both stars made while playing for the NFL, the league capitalized on each man’s achievements as well. But either athlete shouldn’t be shocked when they get greeted at future pubic events with boos from the crowd, which is their choice to do as well. • The Steelers Super Bowl rally took place today in Shittsburgh, and one of the speakers was Lynn Swann, who is running for Pennsylvania governor. I wonder if this free air-time/publicity is allowed under campaign-finance laws? Then again, current governor Ed Rendell was also at this event, so I guess “equal time” can be applied in this case. • Speaking of the Shittsburgh Super Bowl rally, a local controversy has started up after a school district cancelled classes today because the school’s band took part in the festivities. I have no problem with parents letting their kids skip school to attend a post-championship rally, but I have a problem when a school district enacts this policy. I remember back when I was in high school and the Penguins won back-to-back Stanley Cup titles; our school didn’t close down so students could attend those rallies. Of course, about one-third of the students didn’t come into class for that day anyway, and the other two-thirds of us spent most of the day in rooms watching the events on television. • Denmark’s Prime Minister is calling the protests over those Muslim cartoons a global crisis. Right. And speaking of those offensive cartoons, check out what the Muslim world draws in their media. This one is my personal favorite. I especially like the shades of gray used throughout the image; it really goes well with the flying blood and the overall circular feel of the picture. • Looks like NBC anchor Brian Williams is having trouble trying to recognize two Democrat politicians: Tennessee congressman Harold Ford, Jr., and Illinois Senator Barack Obama. From the Hill: “During NBC’s broadcast, Williams noticed Obama on the House floor and identified him to the viewing audience. Unfortunately it was actually Ford.” Oops. Able to see any resemblance between Ford and Obama? Me neither. I guess Williams got them confused because they both speak so well. • One reason Jimmy Carter got elected President back in 1976 was because voters were tired of scandals such as Watergate and wanted someone who didn’t appear to be corrupt. Well, the voters got their wish. Instead of being corrupt, Carter was just plain stupid. Now his son is planning a Senate run in Nevada; the good news if he gets elected is that he won’t follow in dad’s footsteps and attempt to broker nuclear deals with third-world nations – at least not in his first term. • So now Ray Nagin is looking to other countries to help rebuild his flooded city? What he ought to do is contact the United Nations, which is one of the few institutions more corrupt than his city of New Orleans. • Oh, and speaking of asshole mayors, the one in New London, Conn., is offering a compromise to those homeowners whose property got seized so a private business can make more money for the State. Under this plan, several of the former landowners would be able to say, but they need to pay rent to the city in order to live there. What a great idea. Now even more money will be paid to the State, all in the name of the greater good.

I like just about every person on ATH, even Plaschke. He's a bit of a prude at times, but that's OK. I'm sure he'd annoy me if he was by himself on a show, but on ATH I usually judge a person on how well he does with his peers. Any show with Jay, Woody and Plaschke is usually a good one for me. The only person I really don't like is Jim Armstrong, and Michael Smith sometimes annoys me, but other than that everyone else is A-OK with me.

Dr. Tyler = TSM's Katherine Harris, only with less makeup.

I'm a Woody Paige fan. Skip Bayless doesn't nothing for me. I don't hate him, but the few times I've seen him on 1st and 10 or as a PTI replacement I just shrug and change the channel.

Bah, I do that all the time.

*sigh* I guess it needs to be done since he did win it all.

My thought exactly.

Well Super Bowl XL has come and gone, and I might as well make the obvious “The real MVP for the Steelers were the referees loloneforthethumb2006,” joke and continue on with a few thoughts. • While Seattle got hit with a few calls, I don’t think it was as bad as some people are saying. For example, I thought the Roethlisberger rushing touchdown was good; even though he tucked the ball in as he was landing on the turf, the ball was extended enough to touch the goal line when he was in mid-air. By no means was this an easy call to make, and it took me almost as much time as it took the officials who reviewed the play to confirm my decision. That offensive pass interference call which cost Seattle a touchdown is another penalty I don’t have a problem with. Even though Darrell Jackson barely touched the defender covering him, he was still blocking the opponent right in front of an official, and when viewed in real time it looked a lot worse than it did in slow motion. The sad thing about this play is that it appeared Jackson already had position on his defender and didn’t need to do that push off. The few penalties I had problems/questions about were that one holding call which erased a play that put Seattle on the Steeler one-yard-line and the “cut block” penalty assessed to Seattle quarterback Matt Hasselbeck. I was also curious as to why Steeler linebacker Joey Porter didn’t get a penalty called on him for taking down Shaun Alexander with what looked like a horsecollar tackle. (I could be wrong on this one, but it stuck out when I watched the play.) • Big Ben has played better postseason games, and that one interception deep in Seahawk territory reminded me of Rodney Harrison’s pick in last year’s AFC Conference Championship game. However, Ben did have his moments. The most notable was when he scrambled out of the pocket, took note of where the line of scrimmage was, not to mention the location of the nearest defenseman, and threw a 37-yard pass to Hines Ward that set up his team's first touchdown. • My surprise stat of the night: Alexander’s 95-yard rushing effort. I did a double take when I saw how many yards he gained with his 20 carries. • I agree that Hines Ward should have been the MVP with five catches for 123 yards and a touchdown, as well as a key first-down run that knocked a Seattle safety out for the game. In addition, most of his catches were for first downs, and a number of them were caught despite being poorly thrown by Roethlisberger. • I wasn’t sure about Seattle's chances coming in. I felt they had all the tools to win, but they never proved to me during the regular season that they could beat stellar competition on the road or on a neutral field. Despite several dropped passes, and some questionable clock management, they showed that they could compete; just not win. For the most part their defense played tough. However, they gave up four plays that gained 155 yards, nearly half of the Steelers' 339 total for the game. My doubts about the Steelers blitzing against the Seahawks' pass protection schemes were proven right for the most part, and Seattle's passing game showed that they could move the ball against Pittsburgh's secondary. But when it came time to make the big play, penalty-free of course, they came up short. • This game may have been ugly, but the commercials were worse. The only ads I liked were from Budweiser; topping the list was the “streaker” ad. Oh, and after hearing that godawful rendition of our country's National Anthem, I understand why the NFL outsourced the job of halftime entertainment to a group overseas instead of going with some homegrown Motown sounds. I'm sure the NFL even got a great price considering the "wear and tear" of the band they selected. • I’m happy for Bill Cowher finally winning the big game, because I’m so sick of hearing local idiots around the Shittsburgh area constantly criticizing him and suggesting he needs to be fired. While I have said many times that the Steelers are one of the biggest underachieving teams since the early 1990s, I base this on the fact they have lost four Conference Championship games at home and won one game that they didn’t deserve to win. In addition, in 1992 they had the top seed and lost to Buffalo in the Divisional Round. However, it’s better to have a coach that can get your team to five Conference Championship games in a losing effort than to have a coach which can’t get your team into one. I remember watching Cowher's first game with the Steelers. Coaching legend Chuck Knoll had retired, and this thirty-something guy with a noticeable chin was taking over. The first game of the Cowher regime was in a hostile Astrodome environment up against a Houston Oilers team that was one of the AFC's best. After not doing much of anything on their first drive of the game, the Steelers faked a punt that was good for a long gain. This gutsy play-call set up an early-game score, taking the crowd out of the rest of game. Ever since then, Cowher has been a fixture on the Steeler sideline, and now, thanks to this championship, he's going to be a fixture in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. • Even though I'm from the Shittsburgh area, I consider myself to be nonpartisan when it comes to the local sports teams. This run the Steelers went on late in the season and in the playoffs was nothing short of amazing. After all those years of coming up short when given home field in the postseason, it's funny to see this team win it all while having to play on the road in some of the most hostile stadiums in the NFL. And while this city loves you guys, don't expect it to last long. While listening to Mark Madden's sports radio show this afternoon, there were several callers already talking about how this team will fare in 2006-2007 with the dozen or so players eligible for free agency in the upcoming off-season. So exactly how many more months are there until mini-camp?

I forgot about the Post -- they seemed to be more centered in the city. Ahem. Wait. There's still some stuff in there. Ahem. Much better. You want to read the garbage I get over in Shittsburgh?

CNN visits TSM? After treating someone to a few drinks, I'm sure she can find a suitor for the night.

Working third shifts at the gas station brought in all types of drunken freaks. Usually the rap music I played didn't keep them in long.

Congrats you all for giving Uncle Sam an interest-free loan. The kkk household will be doing their taxes tomorrow, the first filing as a married couple, and the first where we can write off the interest from our mortgage, or whatever that deduction is when you buy a house.

So Tyler, you're saying that Seattle fans weren't disenfranchised and the Steelers didn't steal the game?

That's what I'm talking about regarding my Trib situation. What if I moved? The people who would be moving in to my old residence will get billed; what a stupid business model. Trust me, the Cincy Enquirer isn't a liberal paper, at least not when compared to the Post-Gazette. I thought the Enquirer is/was rather conservative. Also note I derive my "left/right-wing" label by their editorials, although I also factor in a little bit the type of news the newspaper presents. However, mostly it deals with the Editorial section. I don't mind "liberal" opinion pages, as long as it doesn't leak into other departments, which sadly happens quite a bit. What's the other major Cincy paper -- the Dayton Daily News? That to me was a leftist publication. And what did your old man do?

I don't know if the PG would do that, and I'm not going to find out. However, just because I won't subscribe to the PG that doesn't mean the Trib should just assume I will enlist with them, even when they try to screw with me. The Republican party ought to take note. Oddly enough, I was content when I subscribed to the Cincinnati Enquirer.

Won by the whitest person this side of Black Lushus.