kkktookmybabyaway

No, it's still the same purple-haired chick.

I don't know what's going on here, but if cops will be kicking in the skulls of drunken idiots on 10/31, then I say good.

• At least I now know how Al Keiper will be going out, and it will be in style. Wonder if the Phillies will win a World Series by the time his expiration date arrives? • My question here is who would go to an event called the “Turkey Testicle Festival”? And if you go, I sure as hell wouldn't be eating any of the available food for sale. Then again, it couldn't be as bad as hot dogs. Below is the article’s next paragraph. I’m willing to bet that one of the dozen cities the councilman mentions below is San Francisco. • I hate to side with the commies on this one, but complaining about a bumper sticker titled “I’m tired of all the BUSHIT” and giving someone a fine for displaying this phrase on his or her car is stupid. Almost as stupid as the same person who gets fined then sues for PUNITIVE damages over the whole ordeal. (I think I've seen that sticker around the Shittsburgh area -- I know I've seen "Duck Fubya" and "Buck Fush" a few times. What offends me most about these stickers isn't the message but rather the lack of creativity. Then again this is a union town, so I don't expect much effort put forth into anything other than trying to find excuses not to work.) • I don’t really give a shit about Bono. I don’t really give a shit about Bono wanting to save money. But when Bono lectures one country for not spending enough money on Africa, then moves his funds from that country to another one with a lower tax rate, I start giving a shit. Well, maybe “giving a shit” is too strong a word – how about finding the whole thing “post worthy”? • I don’t really care about the political stuff in this article. It’s just when I read this I picture a bunch of Dungeons & Dragons enthusiasts fighting about how someone’s Level 15 thief failed a Save v. Poison roll while opening a treasure chest and died despite the wizard in the party casting a “Detect Traps” spell in the previous round. Then again, the fact I know what this shit means depresses me. Oh fuck it, I’ll embrace my D&D roots. I was always a fan of elves because they could use most weapons and cast spells. Two-handed weapons, if memory serves, were out of the question, but I never liked them anyway because they took too much time to swing.

Because it was a funny thread, or at least it was for me. And while we're on the subject of past threads -- what do you teach?

So Mole's paying some of the bills here? The same Mole that can't afford to go to the dentist. At least your priorities are in order.

One less member at TSM. Oh, dear. Did I just wish death upon another poster?

• I was listening to Fox Sports Radio the other day and the hosts were talking about Jerry Porter now being suspended from the Oakland Raiders. One thing they said Porter was unhappy about dealt with the length of practices -- I think too much practice is the least of the Silver and Black’s problems. But this isn't just a week to rip on the Raiders when you have the Arizona Cardinals imploding in the fourth quarter of last night's game. I do feel bad for Neil Rackers though. He was the Bengals kicker when I lived in southwest Ohio. While going through a tough season, he had to put up with constant crap from idiot fans; I remember there was an incident at some restaurant when he was there with his wife/girlfriend and some dolts were bitching about the Bengals. Go ahead and boo all you want when an athlete is out on the field, but for Christ's sake leave them alone when they're trying to enjoy a meal or share an outing with their family out in public. • I don’t hold humans in high regard, but kitties are another matter. This asshole needs a bullet in his head. Uh, how about taking the kittens in, getting them checked out and putting them up for adoption, you faggot-ass piece of shit? Yeah, that would have been real hard; OMG you would have had to put the animals in a carrier and taken them to a vet. Sure it would have cost a few dollars, but he’s the principal of a government school – I’m sure he could have footed the bill. Hell, get the local media involved and this could have turned into a nice, heart-warming story of two kittens getting a second chance on life. Instead, this bastard unloaded two bullets and now he has me wishing for his slow and painful death. • And now it’s time for the Dr. Laura call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This couple went camping for a few days and left the 17-year old daughter at home unattended. They asked her when they got back if she stayed home the entire time and she said no. She said she spent two nights at her boyfriend’s house. There is a disagreement with how to punish her, and the father says that he wants to be less harsh on her than his wife because the daughter “prides herself in being a virgin,” goes to church and plays sports. While not the call of the day, this one call that got me saying, “I don’t think so, ho.” The chick had a kid with some guy who bolted the moment she announced that she was preggers. She married this other guy, and they also had a kid. The first baby’s daddy contacted this woman and said that he is more than willing to relinquish parental custody of the kid who he has never seen. When the caller asked her current husband if he would adopt the lovechild, he said no because he feared that if something ever happened to their relationship that he’d get saddled with paying child support for the kid that isn’t his. Hell, I don’t blame him one bit – although I’m sure he’ll end up paying support for the one kid that’s not his even if he doesn’t adopt.

AFC EAST Buffalo Bills (Bob Barron) 3-3 < PF: 48, PA: 47, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 2-1 > New York Jets (Gert T) 3-2 < PF: 39, PA: 35, AFC: 3-2, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 1-1 > Miami Dolphins (Spaceman Spiff) 2-4 < PF: 40, PA: 46, AFC: 2-4, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 2-1 > New England Patriots (nl-asshole) 0-4-1 < PF: 39, PA: 36, AFC: 0-3-1, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-3 > AFC NORTH Cleveland Browns (SFA Jack) 5-0 < PF: 38, PA: 33, AFC: 3-0, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 2-0 > Cincinnati Bengals (Teke) 3-1-1 < PF: 34, PA: 34, AFC: 2-1-1, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-1 > Baltimore Ravens (King PK) 3-3 < PF: 39, PA: 39, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 0-1 > Pittsburgh Steelers (Kahran Ramsus) 2-3 < PF: 35, PA: 38, AFC: 2-3, NFC: 0-0, DIV: 0-1 > AFC SOUTH Tennessee Titans (Cuban Linx) 4-2 < PF: 42, PA: 40, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > Jacksonville Jaguars (Always Pissed Off) 3-2 < PF: 38, PA: 35, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 1-1, DIV: 1-0 > Indianapolis Colts (Prime Time Andrew Doyle) 3-2 < PF: 42, PA: 36, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-2 > Houston Texans (Bored) 2-3 < PF: 41, PA: 41, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 0-1 > AFC WEST Kansas City Chiefs (Alfdogg) 4-1 < PF: 39, PA: 33, AFC: 2-1, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-0 > Oakland Raiders (Smues) 3-2 < PF: 41, PA: 37, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 1-1 > San Diego Chargers (Porter) 3-2 < PF: 38, PA: 34, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 1-0, DIV: 0-1 > Denver Broncos (Canadian Chris) 2-3 < PF: 33, PA: 37, AFC: 2-2, NFC: 0-1, DIV: 1-1 > NFC EAST Philadelphia Eagles (Harley Quinn) 4-1-1 < PF: 49, PA: 46, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 3-1-1, DIV: 2-0 > New York Giants (Cartman) 2-3 < PF: 40, PA: 39, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 > Dallas Cowboys (Hawk 34) 2-3 < PF: 38, PA: 37, AFC: 1-1, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 0-2 > Washington Redskins (Human Fly) 2-4 < PF: 40, PA: 40, AFC: 0-4, NFC: 2-0, DIV: 1-1 > NFC NORTH Detroit Lions (Bravesfan) 5-1 < PF: 47, PA: 44, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 4-1, DIV: 2-1 > Green Bay Packers (Vitamin X) 3-2 < PF: 36, PA: 33, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 2-0 > Minnesota Vikings (Danville Wrestling) 2-3 < PF: 36, PA: 35, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 2-2, DIV: 1-1 > Chicago Bears (Agent Of Oblivion) 1-5 < PF: 37, PA: 47, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 0-5, DIV: 0-3 > NFC SOUTH Atlanta Falcons (King Of The 909) 5-0 < PF: 43, PA: 35, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 5-0, DIV: 3-0 > Tampa Bay Buccaneers (Starvenger) 2-3 < PF: 38, PA: 40, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 2-1, DIV: 2-1 > New Orleans Saints (Cena’s Writer) 1-4-1 < PF: 44, PA: 46, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 1-3-1, DIV: 0-3 > Carolina Panthers (Fazzle) 1-5 < PF: 37, PA: 38, AFC: 0-2, NFC: 1-3, DIV: 1-2 > NFC WEST Seattle Seahawks (C Dubya) 3-2 < PF: 40, PA: 38, AFC: 0-0, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 2-0 > Arizona Cardinals (Vern Gagne) 3-3 < PF: 46, PA: 37, AFC: 0-1, NFC: 3-2, DIV: 2-1 > St. Louis Rams (Canadian Guitarist) 2-4 < PF: 43, PA: 46, AFC: 1-0, NFC: 1-4, DIV: 0-3 > San Francisco 49ers (Lightning Flik) 1-5 < PF: 32, PA: 43, AFC: 1-2, NFC: 1-2, DIV: 1-1 >

I don't remember who I pick for your contest; every Saturday I'm like "that's who I picked?", and the reason I PM my picks to you is because I have no idea who is good, outside of the obvious -- USC v. Idaho State Christian Tech A&M. And as long as Thomas doesn't say anything bad about Donovan McNabb, he won't have a problem getting a spot at ESPN. And was that the same fiancee?

What would be worse to lose -- sight or hearing? And don't let the above picture influence your answer.

Jeromy Burnitz ... lol.

KKK’s Top 103 Posters Number 50 and 51: Darrylxlf/AndrewTS Now I know what you’re thinking – why are these two grouped together? Let me explain. I’m pretty sure one of them lives Down Under while the other resides not too far from my residence. At least one of them is a rather conservative fellow, and at least one of them is a video game enthusiast. There’s just one problem. I can never remember which one is which, and I stopped trying to remember because it's a chore enough not to forget other things in life like "first pants then your shoes." And now a word or two from the expert panel I've assembled to comment on the people I've listed. From SFA Jack: From EricMM: • Wow. For all those years I was The Man, unaware or indifferent to the plight of minorities everywhere. While I sat with my fellow fat cats griping about the horrors of affirmative action and racial quotas, we all reveled in sticking it to the poor and downtrodden – and if they were dark-colored or had an unpronounceable name, bonus points were awarded. Well now the tables are turning. The United States is expected to welcome its 300 millionth citizen any day now, and the data suggest that this person will most likely be an immigrant. Probably a Mexican. It's only a matter of time before my people are eradicated from the landscape and my lily-white neighborhood will be overrun by Pedros and Rodriguezes. Why couldn’t things go back to the way they were when the tired/poor/hungry masses trying to get in were Jews? • If being overrun by darkies wasn’t bad enough, now when I’ve finally gotten into God’s good graces by no longer living in sin, I’m in the minority of households thanks to this ring on my left hand. Well maybe if all those people wouldn’t be getting divorces we married folk wouldn’t be in the minority. And the worst thing about this is that when I tried to explain to the better half that we’d be social oddballs by getting hitched, she didn’t share my sentiments. • In case you missed it this weekend, the University of Miami kept true to their thug image by brawling with some hippie team I’ve never heard of before. And the smack wasn’t just on the field. Yeah. WE MUST PROTECT THIS HOUSE. From Florida International. If you let Florida International to walk all over you, who’s next – Temple? Damn, I don’t follow college football and even I know the Owls are lousy. And for the record, I heard those comment by Thomas and was thoroughly entertained. Good job. • Speaking of college football, the BcS standings just came out. Don’t care. College football is a fucking joke. One of the largest sports industries in this country and they don’t even bother with a playoff. You people don’t want a playoff system? That’s cool. But don’t turn around and then have these endless, stupid debates over who really is number one and who should really be ranked number two. Win your conference. Win your gay bowl game against someone from another conference and let it end there. And whenever you want to determine a true national champion, give me a call. • I was fiddling around with Wikipedia last night and stumbled upon Coolio because I had “It Takes a Thief” playing at the time. Why, Coolio, WHY!? In addition to owning “It Takes a Thief,” I also have “Gangsta’s Paradise” and “My Soul.” While “Thief” is by far my favorite of the three; I never really liked “Paradise,” the album or the song. “My Soul” was much better than I thought it would be. And even though he appeared on the “Comeback Show,” I’m sure it couldn’t have been as awful as that abortion of a made-for-TNT-movie dealing with sharks. Holy fuck was that a terrible piece of programming. I must do a mea culpa though because whenever I read that he was a Lazarus Demon in “Charmed” I actually remembered that episode. And then for some reason unbeknownst to me, I recalled him being in the “Daredevil” DIRECTOR’S CUT DVD playing an oppressed black man. (But, then again, aren’t they all?) Not sure if he was in the original theatrical version; I didn't see it but I vaguely remember hearing that he wasn't during some special feature on the DVD. • I began playing Diablo II again after a long, long hiatus. I returned to my barbarian character and am killing lots of baddies. I just started Act V, and if I’m still interested in this game after passing the normal difficulty level I might give another character a whirl. That’s all I got.

End of story. (And I have a graduation application story of my own, too, so I know what you're going through.)

EPs don't have tie-breakers. If you go up against someone using EPs and you two end up tied, as long as you submit a TB score you'll win the matchup. Canadian Guitarist, if the Bears win, you win. Quinn -- you were trailing in your matchup 3-4, and you need Arizona to win/cover in order to get a tie.

Deadline has come and gone. Teke, Bravesfan and Dubya are using EPs

I'd make out with Rumsfeld, no question. Now if it was Hitlery, I'd take the bullet.

• If you read the crap I type at this place for any length of time, chances are you know for the most part where my political loyalties reside. Well despite all the negative press surrounding the GOP, there's one weapon the Party of the Jackass can't counter: Karl Rove. Karl Rove is my hero. Karl Rove has super powers. Karl Rove can suppress votes from urban districts in a single bound. And now my confidence is running at a high that hasn't been seen in months, thanks to this article. Here's how the story starts off: And just why is Karl Rove upbeat? A few paragraphs down we get the answer... While this may seem like an unflattering description of Karl Rove's state of mind, you have to read in-between the lines. It helps if you're a Party Ideologue like me and have your Karl Rove Decoder Ring. Look closer: The voting machines are going to be rigged. I love you, Karl Rove. • Speaking of Karl Rove, is it any coincidence that right after the Mark Foley scandal, the original "Mark Foley," former Masshole congressman, and same-sex page boinker extraordinaire, Gary Studds just bit the big one? (Please note I'm talking about death and not about some well-endowed intern.) Anyone care to wager on who made the arrangements to off this guy? That's right. I love Karl Rove almost as much as I love Halliburton. • There's a reason I don't read so-called humor columns. Because many times straight-news stories carry more hilarity than a month's worth of Dave Barry essays. I bet Karl Rove was behind this, too, just as a warning to this girl's parents as to how they should vote in the upcoming election. My favorite part of the article; a quote from Ms. Wilson. And what about the Secret Service people that grilled her? I'm not dangerous. I mean, look at what icon is in my entry _ it's a . I'm a very peace-loving person. • Oh, yeah. My NFL picks for this week. (1.5) Buffalo at Detroit I say the Tigers reaching the World Series will fire up the Lions and lead them to victory -- or at least a one-point loss. Carolina at Baltimore (3.5) I heard Dan Morgan is out for the year. I like Dan. (6.5) Cincinnati at Tampa Bay Cincy will take their aggressions out on the Bucs. Houston at Dallas (13.5) Dallas will take their aggressions out on the Texans, and T.O. will take his aggressions out on the Cowboys' receivers coach. N.Y. Giants at Atlanta (3.5) I'm hoping my support of the Va-giants will result in a loss for the boys in blue. (3.5) Philadelphia at New Orleans For some reason this game has "letdown after a big win" vibe to it, but I'll still go with the favored team. (3.5) Seattle at St. Louis The Seahawks have been at the top of the NFC West mountain for a while now; until they get de-throned, I'll give them the benefit of the doubt. Tennessee at Washington (10.5) The Titans lost by one point last week when the other team was favored by double digits. I am hoping this is the start of Tennessee losing a bunch of close games. Kansas City at Pittsburgh (6.5) Man, if the Steelers lose this week, I'm going to avoid all local sports talk for the rest of the regular season. Miami at N.Y. Jets (2.5) I find it funny that a pre-season Super Bowl contender now has the Jets being favored over them. (10.5) San Diego at San Francisco Another bad team Philip Rivers can fine-tune his skills with. Oakland at Denver (15.5) For the last few years, every time I thought Oakland might make a divisional game close I have been burned. (11.5) Chicago at Arizona Uh-oh. I have the Bears for this game. Something tells me their winning streak is in jeopardy.

Well I wouldn't want any black people in my establishment, either. Keep up that facade, Dandy.

I'd rather be on top.

Might as well get this over and done with. Buffalo at Chicago (7.5). Incorrect. It looks like the Bears were better and the Bills not as scrappy as I had once thought. I’m curious to see if Chicago can keep this good play going through the regular season and into the playoffs. Cleveland at Carolina (8.5). Correct. I knew the Browns weren’t going to win, but my theory of them scoring on their last drive to get within the 8.5 needed to secure a victory for me was correct. Congrats Romeo Crennel for going for the field goal late to cut the Panther lead to eight points instead of wasting four downs trying to get a touchdown. Detroit at Minnesota (6.5). Incorrect. Goddamnit. Everything was going according to plan until the Lions began playing like they were, well, the Lions. Miami at New England (10.5). Incorrect. Lost by half-a-point. Well, that evens out the Cleveland win I had earlier. (3.5) St. Louis at Green Bay. Incorrect. Lost by half-a-point. Well, that makes the Cleveland win I had earlier all but a distant memory. Tampa Bay at New Orleans (6.5). Incorrect. I’m surprised that back-up quarterback for Tampa Bay did as well as he did. Was that because he’s that good or the Saints defense is that unreliable? Tennessee at Indianapolis (18.5). Correct. Wow, I thought the Titans would lost by double digits, not by a single digit. Either way I look smart (at least for this game). For Indy’s sake, I hope the Colts are just on cruise control and not reeling from last year’s playoff loss and the departure of Edgerrin James. Actually, if I had to get rid of one of Indy’s “Big Three” (Manning, James or Harrison), it would have been James. I’m starting to wonder if this might be Indy’s year to go to the Super Bowl. Back in the 1994-1995 season, everyone thought the Steelers would be headed to the big game, but they got beat by a Chargers team in the Conference Championship game. The next year, with just a fraction of the hype, they made it only to lose to the Cowboys. I’m getting a similar vibe with the Colts this year that I had with the Steelers of the 1955-1996 season. Washington at N.Y. Giants (4.5). Incorrect. Any week Emily wins is a bad week. (3.5) Kansas City at Arizona. Incorrect. The Chiefs demolish the 49ers at home, squeak by the Cardinals on the road and Arizona defeated San Francisco several weeks ago. I guess that’s why they place the games. Christ, now I just made a Chris Berman remark. N.Y. Jets at Jacksonville (7.5). Correct. Nice to be with the winning team during a blowout contest. Oakland at San Francisco (3.5). Incorrect. This is like the “Cripple Fight” of the NFL. Dallas at Philadelphia (2.5). Incorrect. Even though Philly played a much better game, Dallas managed to stay in it until the very end. I heard later Owens was acting like, Owens. I heard some talk about how Drew Bledsoe can’t win the big game, which is interesting to me because I remember him coming in for an injured Tom Brady in an AFC Conference Championship game at Pittsburgh a few years back and played rather well. Pittsburgh at San Diego (3.5). Incorrect. I went to bed at halftime. When I turned on the local news the next morning, the top story was the loss and whether or not Big Ben should have been pulled during the game. Let the “Roethlisberger Sucks” talk begin. Baltimore at Denver (4.5). Incorrect. I was right about Baltimore losing. I was wrong about the point spread. Shit, and I thought I had the Broncos in this one, too. C’est la vie. This week’s record: 3-11. Cumulative record: 34-40. Ouch. But at least I still have a better winning percentage (.459) than the Raiders, along with 13 other teams in the league.

I saw a teaser for this thing -- how does the player "match up" against those hundred people?

• I listen to Glenn Beck’s radio show every now and then from 10-11:30 a.m. in my market (about 2-3 times per week at the most). I guess I have to be in a certain mood for him; God knows what that mood is, though. Every Friday during the NFL season his show spends an hour doing this gimmick called “Moron Trivia.” What they do take a football game scheduled for that week (today it was Seattle at St. Louis), call several convenience store workers from both cities and ask them some current events questions. Whichever city gets the most correct answers from their clerks “wins” the contest, and more times than not what city’s team ends up winning the game. Basically, this is like those Jaywalking segments on “The Tonight Show” or that “Street Smarts” program. Did I mention that I hate these shows? Whenever these “let’s ask stupid people questions so we can all laugh at them” skits sprout up, I generally go “eh” and change the television channel or radio station. For some reason I was listening to “Moron Trivia” today, and one of the questions he asked these Quickie-Mart workers depressed me for some reason. The question was, “The stock market recently a) hit a record high, b) hit a record low, c) is another example of failure by the Bush administration or d) [something about John Kerry – I can’t remember what it was]. The convenience store clerks guessed that the stock market hit a record low. Now do you see why I don’t mind it when the mindless masses don’t bother voting? Seeing how most of these places have several newspapers that get stocked on a daily basis, I find it laughable that these people don’t even bother to read these publications; lord knows I did during my tenure at this job. (The other “Moron Trivia” questions for this segment was “What number month is October?” “North Korea recently launched what?” and “Who is Corey Lidle?”) • Speaking of Corey Lidle, I got sick of hearing how he crashed his plane into a New York City building five minutes after hearing this story when it first broke. Yeah, it’s a shame and all that shit, but who gives a fuck if he played professional baseball? I guess if Joe Smith, an architect who recreationally flew planes, smashed into a building it wouldn't have been as big a deal. Talk about East Coast bias. • Then again, maybe this is George Steinbrenner’s new way of dumping salary. • Thanks to the mainstreamliberalpress, we are seeing Republicans get hammered for hitting on pages, accepting bribes and other types of bad stuff. Well, Medium-Large Media, where’s your outrage over this? We can’t have 61-year old men beating up people who oppose the grizzly practice of murdering the unborn and are, uh, dressed in cockroach costumes while at the ... Kansas State Fair. Man is election night going to suck this year. • So Kathie Gifford is going to play Miss Hannigan in some hippie “Annie” musical. I’m sure there’s a sweatshop joke to be made somewhere in there, but it’s a Friday and I’m running on fumes. • While kids in urban areas have to deal with drive-bys and life in the ghetto, their more rural counterparts have to deal with haircut rage. Uh, OK. How about if someone pisses you off you just stab them with the scissors instead of trying to take a little bit off the top? • Wow. There are a bunch of gems in the latest batch of “odd” stories pile tonight. Last one, I promise. Although I have done a number of things to a customer's order during my days in the food-service industry, I have never peed in someone's soft drink. Now doing such a thing while off the clock? Well, um, I just hope the statue of limitations for that sort of thing has a short shelf life.

Elephant. But that's because I'm a Party man.

You thought that was bad, Scroby? Wait until they actually pick you for a case.

• You may remember me saying that I’m no fan of Christopher Shays. He’s a typical RINO whose only use is taking up space in the “R” section of the Congressional aisle. However, I have to give him props for saying the following, which got a laugh out of me. I’m sure he’ll buckle and apologize for these remarks, but fuck that. And fuck Ted Kennedy. • The Chicago White Sox got a sponsor for their weeknight game times for the 2007 season. Next year, all home contests will be at and sponsored by … 7-Eleven. Call it corny. Call it a shameless way to make more money. Call it whatever. I call it brilliant. If I was getting paid seven figures (or whatever the deal is) to show up for work at a certain time, I'd do it in a heartbeat. • I have mentioned before this program a local supermarket is doing in the Shittsburgh region. This store, Giant Eagle, is giving all shoppers with one of those “advantage cards” that many of these places have nowadays 10 cents off per gallon of gasoline for every $50 in groceries purchased. This program has been such a hit with consumers that another grocery store chain, Shop 'n Save, is copying this business plan and partnering up with Sunoco. That’s when you know you have a successful marketing idea; when your competitors don’t even attempt to hide the fact that they’re ripping off your promotion. Well anyway, when someone decides to “cash in” on this discounted fuel purchase they are allowed to pump up to 30 gallons of fuel. This apparently doesn’t suit one customer all that well because yesterday on a local RIGHT-WING RADIO show she was complaining that her car only holds 15 gallons of fuel and that other motorists who drive SUVs can fill up more with the discounted price. She then said it wasn't fair and that she should be allowed to fill up twice with her discounted price. Christ almighty I hate the human race. • To complete my Quickie-Mart trifecta, I heard this local story about a convenience store employee who had shots fired into his place of employment the other night. Here’s the story. It was 2 a.m. in a not-so-nice part of Shittsburgh (yes, some areas are indeed worse than others) when these three guys entered and began complaining about the price of goods in this establishment. When the cashier told them that there’s nothing he can do, the customers began stealing stuff. This was when the clerk hit a device that locked the store’s doors, effectively trapping him in with two of the hoodlums. After some heated words the cashier unlocked the doors only after the customers put the stolen goods back. Shortly thereafter one of these upstanding citizens comes back into the store and fires off some shots – all caught on videotape. My question is why in the hell did the cashier lock these two thugs in the same building with him to begin with? Fuck that. If you don’t want people stealing from your store at 2 a.m. then don’t make your store open 24/7. There’s not way in hell I would even think about doing this sort of thing back when I was a cashier. If this shit happened to me, I’d just call the cops, who are usually nearby Quickie Marts anyway in the middle of the night – how many other places offer coffee and doughnuts at that time of night? With what cashiers make, there’s no way you should risk your safety because a bunch of idiots are lifting potato chips and soft drinks. The only time those doors should be locked like that is if one cashier is on duty and he or she has to be in the back room unloading and stocking recently arrived merchandise. Otherwise, leave that lock alone.