kkktookmybabyaway

You're right. This is why I decided to abort the "cumulative" aspect of the contest (also because there were only a few people interested, which is fine; Bravesfan did this a few years ago so I figured it was worth a shot to try and bring back). For those that don't have a team, if you just want to submit picks each week and compare yours with those who have a team, that's fine. One thing though: Use the point spreads when making your picks. It'll make my job a lot easier that way.

• Sure the Pirates suck, but there’s a silver lining around this dark cloud that has been above Shittsburgh for the past dozen-plus years. The Pirates are no longer in last place in the N.L. Central. And just who is currently occupying this division’s cellar? Why, it’s Racist Dusty and pals. If there’s one team or person out there that I want to see fail more than the Pirates, it’s Racist Dusty followed closely by Barry Bonds. Let’s go Bucs! • This past weekend I was channel surfing and came across this special on a certain cable news network that makes all of us LOL in 2006. This hour-long program dealt with the cost of higher education and how much of a rip-off it is. During this broadcast we got to follow these middle-class parents who earned $125k/year and couldn’t afford to put their two daughters through college. Now this might have gotten a smidgen of sympathy from me had I heard that these kids also had jobs (they might have; I didn’t watch the entire special, but all signs pointed to “no” on this one), and when the father, who worked several jobs to try and pay for his daughters’ education, mentioned the prospect of his girls going to community college, he was greeted with laughter by his brats. While watching this family was aggravating enough, this special also highlighted the woes of some chick that burned through more than $100,000 in a quest for a Special Education Degree. When she got out of college she owed more than $80,000, and when asked how she was coping with this debt she talked about how all her friends buy retail-priced clothing while she has to look through a store’s BARGAIN RACK. She then began to cry. • Yesterday featured the premiere of Katie Couric on the cBS Evening News. Don’t care. I don’t follow broadcast news, so why should I treat Katie any differently? I will defend her in one area though: I don’t remember NBC’s Brian Williams, ABC’s Charles Gibson or cBS’s Bob Schieffer being criticized for how they looked or what they wore. • Oh man Allah’s going to be pissed: Look at this head -- it's not even a real one chopped off from an unholy Westerner's neck. • And there are those in the media who wonder why so many people hate them. Steve Irwin’s kids have just lost their father to a freak accident. One kid is eight-years old, the other one is two. Can we please refrain from headlines like "Kids of 'Crocodile Hunter' May Follow in His Footsteps" until these kids are old enough to, oh I don't know, be of legal age to work? • Now it’s time for the Dr. Laura Call of the day (or whenever I feel like doing this): This woman’s 18-year old daughter has had a continuous drug problem and wants to know if it would be a good idea if she should unknowingly sign up her daughter to take part in some nationally televised intervention program. What was the reason for the caller to take such drastic steps? Because three previous interventions with this kid have already failed.

Good luck in the field. (What's your area of study -- print, broadcast, radio?) You can either kiss ass and have a chance at getting ahead, or you can do what I did. Trust me, you don't want to do the latter. But at least I still have my pride. Yeah.

Boise State Missouri Notre Dame Clemson Tulsa Colorado State UAB California SMU Georgia New Mexico State Ohio State Texas Tech Oregon Tiebreak #1: 31 Tiebreak #2: 151

When I was a kid I asked my mom to let me try some of her V-8. After taking in a hearty mouthful of this shit, I spit it back into her glass.

Because I have a life outside of TSM, believe it or not.

• Oh, yeah. This will turn out well. • No offense health nazis, but when someone orders a double quarter pounder with cheese and large fries, I don't think they care about their value meal's calorie content. Look, I get that people are getting fatter and fatter, but it's up to each individual to make the proper choices in regards to their health and nutrition. It's true fatty foods are out there now more than ever before, but there are also more healthier choices, too. • I'm sure this Ahmadinejad guy from Iran probably doesn't care too much for my infidel lifestyle, what with me eating pork and letting the better half out of the house every now and then. I'm also quite certain he'd want to chop my head off if given a rusty saw and a video camera to tape the incident for broadcast on Al Jazeera. However, upon reading this headline, I'm sure there's at least a little common ground we can share: Ahmadinejad Seeks Purge of Liberal Profs. • This made me laugh. I seem to remember years back a similar event happening in California. Some hippie group wanted businesses to pay their workers "living wages," but yet these commies wanted to be exempt from the laws they were advocating; they claimed that they couldn't afford to keep their workers if forced to shell out the same hourly wage as they wanted to impose on the rest of us. • That Ryan Howard guy from the Phillies has been on a tear, and it’s possible that he could hit 60-plus home runs this season. One topic du jour around the sports-talk circuit has been that if Howard hits 62 round-trippers this sesaon should he be considered the “true” home-run king instead of those roided-up ballplayers currently at the top of the single-season homer list. I say hell no. For as much as I loathe Barry Bonds, until someone else surpasses his single-season total, let his single-season home-run record stand. And let this be a reminder of how MLB and the fans didn’t give a shit about whether or not the game was being played clean in the late 1990s and early 2000s. While I’m on this subject, boo-fucking-hoo to the players now whining about how the suspicion of illegal performance-enhancing drug use is now over every over-achieving athlete’s head. You people made your bed, now go lie in it. • So last night in-between commercials for the Florida State University/Miami football game I was channel surfing, like any good male does, and what did I stumble across? Some movie about the behind-the-scenes action of the sitcom "Diff'rent Strokes." Who in the world thought this was a good idea to do, and who in the world gave this person the green light to produce this piece of crap? • Wow. Be careful what you wish for; it just might come true. Um, if I’m going to die, at least I want to win the $100 million Powerball 50 years prior.

Ha. I missed that. I turned it off once Morgan got "free." What crimes did his buddies commit?

If someone PM's me their picks I post them on this thread as "Picks PM'd." (Take nl-asshole as an example.) When that person's opponent (in nl-asshole's case bob barron) submits his picks either publicly or via PM (it doesn't matter which way because bob will submit his at the last second like he always does) I will then publicly post both players' selections.

Manny's MySpace profile.

• Steve Irwin has just died thanks to a stingray putting a barb through his chest. I always liked the Crocodile Hunter program, even though half the time the show was about a dozen guys lying down on a reptile as if it were a drunk hot chick at Mardi Gras. Too bad this attack didn’t happen to Jeff Corwin; last night I was watching some retarded “HUGE MONSTERS” show with him pretending dinosaurs or some other large extinct animals were chasing him. Christ was this show awful. I kept watching this piece of shit just for the sheer awfulness of it all. • Speaking of trash, I saw one of Morgan Spurlock’s hippie “30 Days” episodes tonight. I wish Morgan would spend 30 days provoking stingrays in their natural habitat. OMG spending 30 days in jail sucks. No fucking shit, genius. That’s why you don’t BREAK THE LAW. I love it when some guilt-ridden do-gooder tries to tug at your heartstrings by producing something like this “30 Days” show and you end up spending 90 percent of the program either laughing out loud or saying, “And what exactly am I supposed to be feeling bad about, douche bag?” • I don’t care about tennis, but God I loved how every ESPN pundit I paid attention to was predicting Agassi to beat this Becker hippie and go on to face Andy Roddick or other some guy I have never heard of before and will never hear of again. Andre, you had a great career. You made a buttload of cash. You seem to actually care about the human race. This makes you a better person than me. Now go and fuck Steffi Graf a whole bunch of times. Just don’t force your kids to play the sport you and your wife succeeded in for all those years. • Michael Caine isn't happy with today's films. Here’s an excerpt from the article I linked to: I’m not a Caine-hater or anything like that, but should someone who played a prominent role in… …be in any kind of position to comment on the awfulness of Hollywood? • And finally, what the hell is wrong with people? And here is a picture of this raucous crowd. Oh well, at least these people can probably point out Pluto on a chart of our solar system. That’s better than those pseudo-hippies who protest child labor conditions in some Asian or South American shoe factory but can’t find the country they’re bitching about on a map.

Since one matchup has been determined already, this is for the n00bs: Here is how you can track your picks against your opponent's: Below in the "CIN" line are Teke's picks. The "KC" line has Alf's picks. The "DIFF" line shows the differing picks in this matchup, along with the TB scores for each person, if their matchup needs it. In this case, since an even number of differing picks are being used, the TB score may be a deciding factor if the differing picks get split 1-1. Cincinnati (Teke) at Kansas City (Alfdogg) CIN: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/IND/WAS/SD/32 KC: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/SF/NYG/WAS/SD/20 DIFF: DAL/JAX, IND/NYG, 32/20

Thanks, but Corwin was actually my second thought. My first was why couldn't Manny, Mark and Megan have been taken out, but their piece-of-shit show got canned long ago.

Only if his dying words were, "She ... was ... a ... real ... beauty..."

For reasons that exist outside of this folder, these words made me laugh. I guess the stingray got pissed when Steve's thumb went up its butthole. I always liked Irwin. Peace out. (Why couldn't this have happened to Jeff Corwin?)

On Friday I talked about how the better half and I split the maintenance duties for our lawn, among other outdoor activities. I was going to talk about indoor cleaning responsibilities yesterday, but that damn Shittsburgh mayor just had to die from cancer Friday night, and I felt like talking about him instead. I swear one of these days I need to put my priorities in order. I do most of the cooking and post-meal cleaning, but that’s because if I left washing dishes up to the better half she would use the dishwasher. I have a problem with dishwashers; I don’t know why (although this should provide some insight into my reasoning). I guess one reason is because dishwashers cross my laziness tolerance line. Nevertheless, most of the kitchen duties are mine, unless Mrs. kkk wants to bake cupcakes or something for a church event or some other get-together. I should note that my culinary skills don’t require much more than nuking veggies, cooking some meat in a skillet or putting something in the oven, so it’s not like I’m slaving away for several hours at some elaborate dish. In regards to house cleaning, we have a weird system. Every few months the house will get cleaned, and most of the time it’s mostly done by just one of us. On Friday she cleaned most of the house while I was at work. However, the previous cleaning, which took place in early July, I spent an afternoon and evening running the vacuum cleaner and spraying chemicals all over the house. The last time we had a joint effort in cleaning up the house was this year’s Memorial Day weekend. Laundry duties are mostly separate because I don’t like running my clothes through the dryer at medium/high heat while Mrs. kkk does. However, if I’m washing my clothes and the better half’s hamper is full, then I’ll do a separate load or two with her stuff. I must say though that I completely stay away from washing the bedding; that’s all her. So there you have it. Our “ying-yang” system has worked for seven-plus years now ever since we began living in sin. Funny enough, even though Jesus freaks and moralists decry couples cohabitating, I really don’t have a problem with it. If the couple is serious about their relationship, then I think they should see what living together and splitting household duties is like. Getting married is hectic enough, what with all the ceremony and reception planning (not to mention trying to pay this expensive date off afterward, but that’s another story for another time). Fighting over whose turn is it to take out the trash won’t help matters much to a newlywed couple when the honeymoon ends and real life begins (for the record, I’m the trash hauler). I also apply this “tryout” rule when it comes to child rearing. Before popping out a few demon seeds, how about adopting a dog or kitty (or two) from your local animal adoption agency and seeing what it’s like to be responsible for a life form that’s not as high-maintenance as a newborn baby?

Week 1 threads are up. Can a mod please close this thread?

One note: I am also doing a cumulative pick 'em league like Bravesfan had a few years ago before he stopped caring about you all. That contest will NOT have point spreads. I will enter all picks that are submitted in this league into that league as well. If you want to change your picks for that league since it's not using point spreads, feel free to do so. I don't care how you go about doing this. (Send in two separate selections; make notes in your picks about which teams you think will win and which team will cover the spread, etc.) EDIT: See my post later on in this thread that's in-between posts by Bravesfan and CanadianChris.

Some notes for n00bs and those who forget how this works: 1) For those that wonder, this is where I get my point spreads from. I may alter a game's spread or two, but by no more than half-a-point. In general I try to get the picks/spreads up by mid-week, although for special games like the Thanksgiving contests I'll try to get them up earlier. Below are the Week 1 matchups; the favored team has its spread next to them (Example: Carolina must beat Atlanta by at least 5.5 points; Chicago must beat Green Bay by at least 3.5 points.) 2) You have two options as to how to send your picks to me. You can post your picks (and predicted score of how many points your team will score for the week) publicly in this thread. You can also PM me your selections. If you PM me your picks I will send you a PM letting you know I received them (or at least I'll try to remember to do so). I will wait until you opponent submits his picks to publicly post yours. So if you are the paranoid type that thinks you opponent will wait until you publicly post your picks and then base his picks off yours with only one or two different selections between them, just PM me your choices. 3) Some people have asked me in the past what is the best way to list picks. If you just list your picks in the order that I post them each week, it makes my job much easier. Also, don't forget the tie-breaker score (how many points you think your team will score this particular week). Believe me, this tie-breaker score is more important than you may think. 4) Because I'll attempt to do a cumulative league this year, too, I'll try to make deadlines closer to kick-off. The deadline for Thursday's game will be 7 p.m. ET on September 7. The deadline for the rest of this week's games will be noon on Sunday, September 10. I only use emergency picks for Sunday and Monday games, so if you forget to send in picks for the Dolphins/Steelers game, your emergency picks won't cover it. 5) If you have any questions, ask away. Miami at Pittsburgh (3.5) Atlanta at Carolina (5.5) Baltimore at Tampa Bay (3.5) Buffalo at New England (8.5) Cincinnati at Kansas City (3.5) (3.5) Denver at St. Louis New Orleans at Cleveland (3.5) N.Y. Jets at Tennessee (3.5) (4.5) Philadelphia at Houston (6.5) Seattle at Detroit (3.5) Chicago at Green Bay Dallas at Jacksonville (2.5) San Francisco at Arizona (7.5) (3.5) Indianapolis at N.Y. Giants Minnesota at Washington (4.5) (3.5) San Diego at Oakland Miami (Spaceman Spiff 0-1) defeated by Pittsburgh (Kahran Ramsus 1-0) 7-9 MIA: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/STL/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/24 PIT: PIT/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/STL/CLE/TEN/PHI/DET/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/24 DIFF: MIA/PIT, SEA/DET, 24/24 Atlanta (King of the 909 1-0) defeated Carolina (Fazzle 0-1) 9-8 ATL: MIA/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/DET/CHI/JAX/AZ/NYG/MIN/SD/17 CAR: MIA/ATL/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/IND/WAS/SD/17 DIFF: CAR/ATL, BAL/TB, NO/CLE, TEN/NYJ, DET/SEA, JAX/DAL, AZ/SF, NYG/IND, MIN/WAS Baltimore (Marvin is a Lunatic 1-0) defeated Tampa Bay (Starvenger 0-1) 9-6 BAL: MIA/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/STL/NO/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/AZ/NYG/MIN/SD/16 TB: MIA/CAR/TB/BUF/CIN/DEN/CLE/NYJ/PHI/SEA/GB/JAX/AZ/NYG/WAS/SD/17 DIFF: BAL/TB, NE/BUF, STL/DEN, NO/CLE, CHI/GB, DAL/JAX, MIN/WAS Buffalo (Bob Barron 1-0) defeated New England (nl-asshole 0-1) 6-5 BUF: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/NYG/WAS/SD/14 NE: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/27 DIFF: NO/CLE, SF/AZ, NYG/IND Cincinnati (Teke 1-0) defeated Kansas City (Alfdogg 0-1) 7-7 + TB Teke predicted the Bengals would score 32, they actually scored 23. The point difference is 9. Alfdogg predicted the Chiefs would score 20, they actually scored 10. The point difference is 10. Teke was 9 points off, Alfdogg was 10 points off. Teke wins the matchup. CIN: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/IND/WAS/SD/32 KC: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/SF/NYG/WAS/SD/20 DIFF: DAL/JAX, IND/NYG, 32/20 Denver (Canadian Chris 0-1) defeated by St. Louis (Canadian Guitarist 1-0) 7-8 DEN: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/28 STL: PIT/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/IND/WAS/SD/19 DIFF: MIA/PIT, TB/BAL, NO/CLE, JAX/DAL, AZ/SF New Orleans (Cena’s Writer 0-1) defeated by Cleveland (SFA Jack 1-0) 8-8 + TB Cena's Writer predicted the Saints would score 28 points, they actually scored 19. The point difference is 9. SFA Jack predicted the Browns would score 20 points, they actually scored 14. The point difference is 6. Cena's Writer was 9 points off. SFA Jack was 6 points off. SFA Jack wins the matchup. NO: PIT/ATL/BAL/NE/KC/DEN/NO/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/NYG/WAS/OAK/28 CLE: PIT/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/GB/DAL/SF/IND/MIN/SD/20 DIFF: ATL/CAR, KC/CIN, NO/CLE, NYJ/TEN, CHI/GB, JAX/DAL, AZ/SF, NYG/IND, WAS/MIN, OAK/SD, 28/20 N.Y. Jets (Gert T 1-0) defeated Tennessee (Cuban Linx 0-1) 9-7 NYJ: XXX/CAR/TB/NE/KC/DEN/NO/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/SF/IND/MIN/SD/16 TEN: PIT/CAR/TB/NE/KC/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/SF/NYG/WAS/SD/17 DIFF: XXX/PIT, NYJ/TEN, IND/NYG, MIN/WAS, 16/17 Philadelphia (Real World’s Champion 1-0) defeated Houston (Bored 1-0) 8-8 + TB Real World's Champion predicted the Eagles to score 24 points, they actually scored 24. The point difference is 0. Bored predicted the Texans to score 20 points, they actually scored 10. The point difference is 10. Real World's Champion was 0 points off. Bored was 10 points off. Real World's Champion wins the matchup. PHI: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/MIN/SD/24 HOU: MIA/CAR/BAL/NE/KC/STL/CLE/TEN/PHI/DET/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/20 DIFF: TB/BAL, CIN/KC, DEN/STL, NYJ/TEN, SEA/DET, MIN/WAS, 24/20 Seattle (C Dubya 0-1) defeated by Detroit (Bravesfan 1-0) 8-9 SEA: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/STL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/NYG/MIN/SD/27 DET: MIA/ATL/BAL/NE/CIN/STL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/GB/DAL/SF/IND/WAS/SD/13 DIFF: CAR/ATL, TB/BAL, CHI/GB, JAX/DAL, AZ/SF, NYG/IND, MIN/WAS Chicago (Agent of Oblivion 0-1) defeated by Green Bay (Vitamin X 1-0) 5-9 CHI: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/KC/DEN/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/24 GB: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/NYJ/HOU/DET/GB/JAX/SF/IND/MIN/SD/17 DIFF: KC/CIN, CLE/NO, TEN/NYJ, PHI/HOU, SEA/DET, CHI/GB, AZ/SF, WAS/MIN, 24/17 Dallas (Hawk34 1-0) defeated Jacksonville (Always Pissed Off 0-1) 9-7 DAL: MIA/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/STL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/23 JAX: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/MIN/SD/23 DIFF: BAL/TB, STL/DEN, NO/CLE, WAS/MIN, 23/23 San Francisco (Lightning Flik 0-1) defeated by Arizona (Vern Gagne 1-0) 3-8 SF: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/CLE/TEN/HOU/SEA/CHI/DAL/AZ/NYG/WAS/SD/13 AZ: MIA/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/AZ/IND/MIN/OAK/27 DIFF: TB/BAL, CLE/NO, TEN/NYJ, HOU/PHI, NYG/IND, WAS/MIN, SD/OAK Indianapolis (Prime Time Andrew Doyle 1-0) defeated N.Y. Giants (Cartman 0-1) 10-6 IND: PIT/CAR/TB/BUF/CIN/STL/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/SF/IND/WAS/OAK/27 NYG: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/STL/CLE/TEN/PHI/DET/CHI/DAL/AZ/NYG/WAS/SD/32 DIFF: PIT/MIA, BUF/NE, NO/CLE, SEA/DET, JAX/DAL, SF/AZ, IND/NYG, OAK/SD, 27/32 Minnesota (Danville Wrestling 0-1) defeated by Washington (Human Fly 1-0) 7-7 + TB Danville Wrestling predicted the Vikings to score 6 points, they actually scored 19. The point difference is 13. Human Fly predicted the Redskins to score 22 points, they actually scored 16. The point difference is 6. Danville Wrestlilng was 13 points off. Human Fly was 6 points off. Human Fly wins the matchup. MIN: MIA/ATL/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/NYJ/HOU/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/NYG/WAS/SD/6 WAS: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/WAS/SD/22 DIFF: ATL/CAR, NYJ/TEN, HOU/PHI, DAL/JAX, SF/AZ, NYG/IND, 6/22 San Diego (Porter 0-1) defeated by Oakland (Smues 1-0) 9-10 SD: MIA/CAR/TB/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/NYJ/PHI/SEA/CHI/JAX/AZ/IND/MIN/SD/24 OAK: PIT/CAR/BAL/NE/CIN/DEN/NO/TEN/PHI/SEA/CHI/DAL/SF/IND/MIN/SD/27 DIFF: MIA/PIT, TB/BAL, NYJ/TEN, JAX/DAL, AZ/SF

I have no clue. All I know about city council is that the race-baiting black guy got booted in the most recent primary. Ravenstahl said he's going to continue with what O'Connor wanted to do for the city, but I have a feeling there's going to be a back-room conspiracy or two to get him out because God forbid this region can't have any young people at the helm.

Well, if you have a clean slate debt-wise, can afford to pay for much of the debt you'll have with this M.A. pursuit, then best of luck to you.

I thought you had to be of a certain age (around 25) to get this done. If you want to do this, then knock yourself out. It's not my plumbing you're tinkering with.

How much debt do you currently have?

Smitty and some other people in the teaching arena might be able to help you out on this, but aren't some states now requiring teachers to get Maaster Degrees if you want a somewhat decent job in the education field?