King Cucaracha

Landon Maddix vs. Todd Cortez STIPULATION: If Todd Cortez loses, he must join Cucaracha Internacional. If Landon loses... he'll probably cry about it a bunch, I don't know. He's not neccessarily required to though.

COLE We'd like to take a quick second to remind you all that next week, we will be broadcasting live from north of the border, from The Bell Centre in scenic Montreal, Quebec. Already three big matches signed for next week. The Conference Finals of the Anderson Cup to be decided, in addition to Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez one on one with the stipulation that if Landon wins next week, Todd Cortez must join the ranks of Cucaracha Internacional. And with that in mind, we go to the ring and Michael Buffer. "The Church Of Hot Addiction" by Cobra Starship hits, bringing out the OAOAST's resident odd couple, James Blonde leading the way in his faux fur coat, tracked by Faqu. BUFFER The following tag team contest is set for one fall. On the way to the ring, team number one... total combined weight, five hundred and nine pounds. They represent CUCARACHA INTERNACIONAL... the team of "THE TRENDSETTER" JAMES BBLLLOOOOOOOONNDDEEEEEEE... and, his partner, "THE SAMOAN WRECKING BALL" FFFFFFAAAAAAAAAAAAQQQQQUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Blonde raises an arm over his head, pointing to himself incase anybody missed him and his mound of fur. Behind him, Faqu sends a cameraman scurrying with a lunge. Blonde quickly gets in Faqu's ear and presumably tells him to save himself for the opponents, as Faqu leaves the rest at bay and enters the ring. COLE Faqu and Blonde, to do Cucaracha Internacional's bidding here tonight. Not only do they have Todd Cortez to soften up for Landon ready for next week, but also Jamie O'Hara, who we saw get blindsighted by Nathaniel Black [i]last[/i] week. That issue is far from over. COACH So you're saying, two birds one stone? COLE Well, it could be three birds. A win for Faqu and Blonde tonight keeps them in consideration for another World Tag Team Title shot. "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" Faqu glares down the aisleway as "Fix Up, Look Sharp" pumps through the arena. And out swaggers Jamie O'Hara, stopping for a moment as he locks eyes with Faqu but shaking it off and slapping some hands with his usual bravado. BUFFER And their opponents. First, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!! Stopping in the aisleway, O'Hara hops around as he waits for "Oh No" by Mos Def, Nate Dogg and Pharoah Monche to hit. Todd Cortez walks out, showered in sparkles of pyro before he pounds his chest and marches to the ring. BUFFER And, hailing from Hollywood Boulevard! He weighs two hundred and twenty six pounds... "THE URBAN LEGEND"... TTOOOOOOOOOOOOODD... CCOOOOORRRRRRRTTEEEEEEEEZZZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE A big reaction for the master of the Riot Act Plus! COACH And of nothing else whatsoever. Patting his partner on the back as he passes, Cortez slides into the ring and drops down ready to fight. O'Hara is right behind him and Blonde quickly moves to calm Faqu down again. Removing his gold chain and cross, Cortez keeps a close eye on the Samoan nonetheless. The former rivals talk things over in the corner while Faqu is convinced onto the apron by Blonde... [b]"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"[/b] [i]...WAAAAAHHHHH... *DUM DUM*[/i] "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Now, wait a second! ...because there's one more man to make his way out yet. "Megalomaniac" blares through the speakers and all heads turn as LANDON MADDIX appears on the stage, with Megan Skye at his side. Blonde makes a big deal of applauding his newfound leader as he walks arm in arm to the ring with Megan, eyed closely by Cortez as they pass. Referee Jack Doan is ready to lay the law down to them both about getting involved in this match, but Landon innocently holds his hands up, signalling that he's just passing by on his way to Sofa Central. COLE I don't remember anyone saying we'd be joined out here by Landon tonight. COACH When was the last time anyone told you anything? Most people back there think we replaced you months ago. Which may or may not have something to do with me telling them that. Anyway, let's not look a gift horse in the mouth, whatever the heck that means. Getting his headset, Landon shakes hands with The Coach, politely declining the offer of the handshake from Michael Cole however. In the ring, O'Hara sees his partner's focus waning and makes it clear he's going to be starting the match. COLE Landon, nice of you to join us. No prizes for guessing what brings you out here. MADDIX My voice should be prize enough Michael. But, no, I'm out here on a little scouting mission, a chance to get a closer look at my newfound friends in action. And maybe I can impart some knowledge at the same time, who knows? COLE And no coincidence that this match is happening a week away from you facing Todd Cortez one on one? MADDIX I'm the SWF Commissioner, not the OAOAST commissioner. Not my call. COLE Right. *DINGDINGDING!* With the bell sounding, Blonde loosens up and circles with O'Hara. Blonde comes out of a lock-up with a side headlock and dedicates it to Landon shamelessly, before O'Hara manages to escape it by pushing him off into the ropes. Back comes Blonde with a shoulder block though to knock him down. The 'street-wise' Blonde dusts off his shoulder onto O'Hara and hits the ropes again... but O'Hara suddenly nips-up and catches Blonde with an armdrag on the rebound! Rolling to his feet, Blonde misses with an elbow, Jamie underneath it and pulling Blonde out with a whip. O'Hara telegraphs a duck of the head though, getting clubbed in the back as payment. MADDIX Good thinking, very good. After a slap across the back of the head, into the ropes backs Blonde again. Up goes O'Hara for a leapfrog... caught in mid-air by Blonde... but the Englishman tips forward and floats over the back with a sunset flip... 1... 2... No! Blonde tries for a clothesline as O'Hara gets back to his feet. But he continues to be one step behind his opponent as O'Hara ducks underneath the line and springs to the middle rope, twisting off with a crossbody block... 1... 2... Blonde kicks out. COLE O'Hara is so quick, so unpredictable, it's so hard to catch him once he's in motion. With Blonde backed up against the ropes, O'Hara goes into motion again looking to land with a clothesline. A duck of the head backdrops O'Hara up and over the top rope. But he lands on his feet safely, kicking Blonde in the kidneys through the ropes. O'Hara then launches over the top, hooking his ankles around Blonde's head and snapping him over with a headscissors! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" Rolling on through goes Blonde as the SuperJay rushes in again. This time he gets a little ahead of himself though and runs right into a knee to the gut. MADDIX There we go. As O'Hara doubles up in pain, James takes a second to point to his temple to show how smart he is. MADDIX I love this guy. COLE Because he reminds you so much of... you? MADDIX Exactly! Blonde spins O'Hara around and takes him up for a back suplex. Over the top floats O'Hara however, landing safely on his feet and hooking Blonde over with a rolling prawn hold... 1... 2... No! Scrambling to his feet, Blonde has clearly had enough and tags in Faqu! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE And in comes The Samoan Wrecking Ball, right on cue. The workhorse of the team. Whether he likes it or not. COACH I'm guessing he does. MADDIX Oh, Faqu's a little... he's... you know, 'not all there'. But he likes dishing out pain. And that's just the way James likes him. Who am I to argue with success, huh? Faqu steps in and beats his chest, not intimidating O'Hara enough to get him out of the ring. The Birmingham Bad Boy squares up to Faqu and actually goes chest to chest with him, daring him to take a shot. Risky move. Faqu lets out a loud shout and takes a step back... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...CRACKING O'Hara with one hard chop, taking him off his feet! COLE A brave move to stand up to Faqu. Not particularly advisable though. Faqu lifts O'Hara back to his feet and backs him into a neutral corner. The referee lays a count on Faqu, who just looks at him before taking his hands off of O'Hara at four... *SLAP!* "WHOOOOOOOO!" ...to deliver another chop! O'Hara falls down in the corner, stalked over by Faqu who pants like a rabid animal. "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" "JA - MIE!" By the vest-top, Faqu drags the lifeless O'Hara to his feet again. A shove pushes him into the turnbuckles, Faqu ducking low with a shoulder charge to the gut. Faqu then sends O'Hara out of the corner with an irish whip, arrowing him towards the opposite turnbuckles. Grabbing the top rope, O'Hara goes up and ove... NO! Up but not over, Faqu catching him on his shoulder! Faqu peels O'Hara's hands off the ropes, turns and charges with him. But O'Hara slides off the shoulder and lands on his feet behind Faqu, springing up and dropkicking him in the back to create space to get a tag to Cortez! "YYEEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Cortez shows a similar lack of fear and rushes Faqu, beating him to the punch quite literally. Four right hands stagger Faqu, setting him up for an irish whip. Or half of one at least, Faqu spinning and reversing the momentum. Off the ropes comes Cortez, ducking underneath a wild swing from the wildman and connecting with a Spinning Wheel Kick to knock Faqu down! COLE Down goes The Samoan Wrecking Ball! That's no mean feat in itself right there! Faqu gets back up, into a European uppercut! And a second! And a third! The shots to the chest seem to wind Faqu, allowing Cortez to hook him up for a suplex. Lifting Faqu proves much more of a problem however. COACH Not gonna happen. COLE Not just yet, at least. After two fruitless attempts Cortez gives up on the suplex and jumps over the back, trying to pull Faqu down with a sunset flip. Faqu stays on his feet, shaking his head... and SITS OUT... ...MISSING CORTEZ, barely! Rolling clear, Cortez comes off the ropes as Faqu sits hurting in the middle of the ring, blasting the big Samoan in the face with a basement dropkick! He dives on top, trying to hook a leg... 1... Kickout! Todd lets Faqu back up before running the ropes. Down the apron comes Blonde to try and cut The Urban Legend off in mid-stride with a sneaky knee. He doesn't prove sneaky enough though and Cortez puts on the brakes, cracking Blonde with a roundhouse kick that knocks him off the apron! The second with his back turned to Faqu proves costly however. Faqu strikes him in the back with his bare palms, then lofts Cortez up and over his head with a Saito Suplex! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!" MADDIX Yes! Get on him now. KILL! KILL! Taking orders from Landon with the absense of his partner, who's currently piecing his front teeth back together on the floor, Faqu drops to his knees and lays in a blatant choke! "ONE!" "TWO!" "THREE!" "FOUR!" "FIV..." Faqu breaks the choke, looking like he's about to break referee Jack Doan, which sends him scrambling for cover. COLE That's the danger with Faqu, he's liable to do anything. He [i]used[/i] to be a regular, well-adjusted human being, nobody knows what's caused this change and similarly nobody knows what he's capable of now. MADDIX Except for one man, James Blonde. And Nathaniel Black. And now, whadda ya know, me and Megan too! Faqu pulls Cortez up off the canvas, still looking daggers at the referee. A scoop and a slam places Cortez in the middle of the ring, Faqu coming off the ropes and touching his knees in mid-air as he comes down with a tuck bodysplash, flattening Todd under his 300 plus pounds! 1... 2... NO! Back on the apron, Blonde calls for a tag and gets it from his partner. "The Trendsetter" still feels his jaw as he enters the ring, stomping Cortez a couple of times to pay him back for the earlier kick. Blonde then flattens out Cortez again and leaps onto his chest with a Double Stomp! COLE Blonde in and taking over, after Faqu cut off the opposition. Not a new strategy and one that seems to suit this team. Especially Blonde. MADDIX They're the rightful Tag Team Champions! What went down at AnglePalooza was bush league. Where in the OAOAST rulebook does it say using chairs are legal, so long as it's on someone bigger and scarier than you? Nowhere, that's where. An irish whip sends Cortez into opposition territory, hitting the turnbuckles next to Faqu. Finding himself cornered he lashes out with an elbow to Faqu! He then lands a right hand on Blonde! A right to Faqu! A right to Blonde! "YYYEEEEEEEAAA..." The offensive flurry is cut off though, Blonde shooting for and picking out a leg, pinning Cortez in the corner. Faqu tags himself in and catches Todd wide open with an open-handed thrust to the throat! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Angry at the double-teaming, O'Hara steps into the ring and ends up making matters worse. The referee steps in to move O'Hara back to the corner, allowing Blonde to stay in the ring and pin Cortez in the corner, this time with his entire bodyweight, only stepping out of the way to avoid an AVALANCHE from The Samoan Wrecking Ball!! O'Hara is beside himself, taunted further by James Blonde, just because he can. MADDIX I'm telling you, it's only a matter of time before these guys have gold around their waist now that they're under our tutelage in Cucaracha Internacional. That's what Todd Cortez is going to come to realise once I beat him next week. With O'Hara finally moved out of the ring, Faqu covers Cortez... 1... 2... Kickout! With Blonde's approval, Faqu clamps on a nervehold, squeezing away at Cortez's trapezius muscle. "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" "COR - TEZ!" COACH These people are so quick to cheer for Cortez and O'Hara. I don't get it Landon. They nothing but street trash, not well-groomed, clean-cut people like yourself and James Blonde. COLE Why would these people cheer someone like James Blonde? COACH He's a Trendsetter! COLE Call me naive, but I don't see the faux fur look catching on in Mobile, Alabama any time soon. Despite the numbness setting in down his right side, Cortez fights to his feet. An elbow to the well padded gut of Faqu doesn't do him much good. And a clench on the nervehold drops him back down to his knees with a groan. Relinquishing the hold, Faqu then strikes him in the back with a kick to put him all the way down. COLE Faqu has shut down Cortez here, with his size. MADDIX Not with his size, with his ABILITY! He's some giant lump of non-descript mass Michael Cole, he's a competitor, right now a competitor superior to Todd Cortez. It's not about size. Cortez is nothing but a one-move wonder without me! But that flippy-dippy piledriver isn't going to happen with Faqu and when you take that move away, he's not much of a wonder at all now, is he? COLE But taking that one move away is easier said than done for some, right Landon? MADDIX ...I'm not going to have to worry my pretty little head about the 'Riot Act Plus' after next week. Tagged back in, Blonde picks up Cortez... BUT GETS CAUGHT IN A SMALL PACKAGE... 1... 2... NO! Both men scramble back up... but Blonde finds himself in his corner, not thinking to actually tag Faqu as he instead dives to prevent the tag on the other side... and FAILS! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE TAG! Here comes O'Hara! In the only way he knows how, leaping to the top and taking out Blonde with a Springboard Dropkick! MADDIX No wonder Nat hates this guy. O'Hara pops back up and catches Faqu coming in with a flipping dropkick as well. The fact he was only on one foot serves to send Faqu through the ropes and to the floor. O'Hara sees him off and jumps to the middle rope, Blonde charging at him but getting leapfrogged! Into the turnbuckles clatters The Trendsetter, staggering out into a Busaiku Knee Kick off the ropes from O'Hara! 1... 2... NO!! O'Hara doesn't cry over spilt milk, jumping back up to try and make good on the pin this time, after a STANDING CORKSCREW SENTON!! 1... 2... NO!!!! "OOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" COLE Explosive as ever, Jamie O'Hara! Leaving the ring, O'Hara heads up top. Blonde is slow to his feet which allows O'Hara time to get his footing up top, setting himself for a Flying Crossbody Block... 1... BLONDE ROLLS THROUGH... 1... 2... NO! COLE I think Blonde had a handful of... whatever the heck O'Hara's wearing, tracksuit pants... anyway, point is he didn't get him. MADDIX How do you put up with this guy? COACH I convinced some people we fired him months back. See, that way, they ship in my favourite flavour ice-cream, which I keep right he... Trailing off, Coach realises he isn't being listened to anymore as Landon has left the commentary table. He jumps up onto the apron just as O'Hara flips Blonde out of a Guilt Trip attempt and nails him with a Spinning Roundhouse to the side of the head! No sooner has Blonde hit the mat than NATHANIEL BLACK appears, sliding into the ring and MOWING down O'Hara with a BLACK LARIAT!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE HEY! Damnit, the referee didn't see a thing! COACH Haha... perfect. COLE Well, almost. Black slides out of the ring, but realises that Blonde is out and panics. Encouraging Landon to stall for more time he slides back in, Landon struggling to keep Doan's attention while Black drops Blonde on top of O'Hara... *SMACK!* "YYYEEEEEEAAAAHHHHH!" ...AND EATS A SUPERKICK FROM TODD CORTEZ!! COACH He's not even in the match! Thats what the phrase UNF'NCALLED FOR was invented for right there! Seeing his back-up go spiralling through the ropes and to the floor, Maddix shoves Doan out of the way and charges with a double axehandl... NO! Cortez turns around and Maddix, realising he's within at least 3 feet of yet another Riot Act Plus, dives to the side and right out of the ring, proclaiming his innocence. Cortez doesn't waste time arguing with him, as Faqu suddenly charges, the bigman not stopping for anything but finding himself on the floor all the same as Cortez sidesteps him! COLE The Cucaracha Internacional gameplan is crumbling before their very eyes! Landon tries despairingly to pull Faqu up, as in the ring Blonde gets up into a boot from Cortez. The Urban Legend reels him into the standing headscissors, wrapping the arms around the waist... ...and, after locking eyes with Landon, letting Blonde go. Instead he goes behind Blonde with a hammerlock, wrapping on the dragon sleeper and pulling the Canadian down into the STREET DREAMS!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE Submission hold! The dragon sleeper/armlock combination, with the bodyscissors, there's nowhere for Blonde to go! With Faqu too much for him to lift, Landon can only look on in despair... ...AS BLONDE GIVES IT UP, TAPPING OUT AGAINST HIS OWN BODY!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" *DINGDINGDING!* "Oh No" hits again as Cortez lets Blonde go, shoving him off of him and standing tall in the middle of the ring. Landon looks shocked as Cortez dares him to step into the ring a few days early. But La Cucaracha settles for getting Blonde safely out of the ring and gathering his troops. BUFFER Your winners of this contest... the team of JAMIE O'HARA and "THE URBAN LEGEND" TOOOOOOODD CCOOOOOOORRRRRTTEEEEEEEZZZZZZ!!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" COLE And look at the colour drained from Landon Maddix's face. The supposed 'one move wonder' has just given La Cucaracha yet more to think about ahead of next week in Montreal! Cortez helps O'Hara up, having to keep him from bailing out of the ring to continue the fight as Cucaracha Internacional have similar problems restraining Faqu. Despite the pain he's suffering Blonde is able to get Faqu under control, O'Hara yelling some parting words with Black as a clearly frustrated Landon waves his men off to the back. COLE Not quite what Landon had in mind for tonight. COACH Oh gee, you think? COLE It was obvious, the trap was set. But it failed to close on O'Hara and Cortez and instead of having a softened up Todd Cortez to contend with next week, Landon now has a little reminder of what Cortez can do [i]besides[/i] the Riot Act Plus. As if that alone wasn't enough to bother Maddix. Cucaracha Internacional pile out to the back, with Landon getting a last bit of eye contact with Cortez. And it's clear for all to see, next week can't come soon enough. For either man.

That's as much to do with his booking as it is his ability to connect to the crowd. His feud with Finlay was everything Lashley should have been, as were his interactions with Cena. People reacting to him when he was doing the things they wanted to see him do. Shockingly enough. They failed to cover up his negatives and accentuate his positives often enough, that was the problem. Did he even have merchandise?

BUFFER The following contest is a Conference Semi Final Match in the 2008 Anderson Cup, Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, scheduled for one fall! Relieved to have gotten through that mouthful without stumbling over his words, Buffer smiles wide as "Easy Lover" begins to waft through the arena. [i]"Easy lover She'll get a hold on you believe it Like no other Before you know it you'll be on your knees"[/i] Out through the entrance swagger the walking stereotypes that are Rico de Janeiro and Lucius Soul. Lucius picks away at his 'fro with a renewed look of confidence on his face since we last saw him, Rico swaggering out in front stroking his trusty porn 'stache to all the Alabama mammas in the audience. The duo come to an abrupt stop as they're flashed in the aisleway by a fan hoping to earn some Mardi Gras beads. Unfortunately, the fan happens to be a heavily overweight male in his 40s which turns Rico a little green in the gills. VENTURA Don't go getting any ideas Schiavone! BUFFER Introducing team number one! At a total combined weight of four hundred and thirteen pounds... they are the number three seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference... RICO DE JANEIRO and "SWEET" LUCIUS SOUL... together, they are THE MARDI GRAS HHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMEEWRECKING CCRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWii!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Lucius and Rico rule the roost, strutting around like they own the ring. Mainly because there's no big Oklahomans to argue with them, at the moment. SCHIAVONE The Mardi Gras crew looking pretty confident tonight Jess. VENTURA Well they've made it this far, they're now one win away from the Conference Final. And not to mention, they got that big win last weekend on Syndicated over The Bruisers... SCHIAVONE Well, that was in eight man tag team action and it was Synth who picked up the fall. VENTURA Doesn't matter. The record books say Mardi Gras were winners and The Sooners were losers. They've got momentum on their side, which is going to be vital because they'll need every advantage they can get if they hope to advance over the former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions. SCHIAVONE Who were never beaten for those titles, let's not forget. "Frankenstein" by Edgar Winter rips through the arena and the crowd jump to their feet. Muscles flexing to the point of bursting, Big Frank soaks in the spotlight with Uber barking away in the background. BUFFER And introducing their opponents! At a total combined weight of five hundred and thirty pounds. They hail from the great state of Oklahoma... the number two seeds in the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference, BIG FRANK and UBER... THE SOOOOOOOOONNEEEEEEERRRRRRRR... BBRRRRRRUUUUUUUIIIIIISSEEEEERRRRRSSSSS!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA The [i]great[/i] state of Oklahoma!? Is that what we did with JR in the end, locked him away writing Buffer's cue-cards? SCHIAVONE .....The Sooner Bruisers made these pre-recorded comments earlier. [COLOR=orange][i]OAOAST[/i][/COLOR] In the right corner of the screen appear The Sooners in front of a grey OAOAST backdrop. BIG FRANK You know since we've been back, me and Uber, we've been keepin' a pretty low profile. We've been away for a while, we ain't expecting to still be the top of the food chain around here. So we've been hard at work behind the scenes, knocking off the ring rust, getting back in top condition. We came back for competition. But we sure as hell weren't expecting to have an 'L' on our records so quick. Wouldn't ya know it, that smacked up bitch Synth gets a cheap one over us first time we get them sons of bitches back in the ring! UBER But if ya'll think that's a good thing, more fool you. See all it's done is pissed us off! BIG FRANK And Mardi Gras, you boys are in the unenviable position. You're the beta test for the pissed off Sooners, Version 9,000,000.0! Featuring the Soonerline, upgraded for 2008, with 800MB of *WHAM!* Compatible with all chest cavities! UBER OW OWWWWWii [COLOR=orange][i]HELDDOWN~![/COLOR][/i] *DINGDINGDING!* With The Sooners comments comes the opening bell, Big Frank and Uber rushing their opponents at the outset! Uber takes Rico and Frank takes Soul clubbing them with forearms against the ropes. Setting them up, Uber and Frank then send The MGHWC off the ropes with stereo irish whips, loading up those SOONERLINES... but Rico and Lucius grab onto the top rope and drag themselves out of the ring to safety! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" SCHIAVONE That was almost the worst possible start for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew. VENTURA No doubt. A couple of Soonerlines and it could have been curtains. Once they've got their gameplan re-assessed, Rico and Lucius high-five and break the huddle. It's Lucius to start off officially with Frank and surprisingly he doesn't look overly concerned. Lucius jigs over to Big Frank and locks up, jockeying for position. Frank doesn't do much in the way of jockeying though. And as Lucius struggles to move his larger opponent, Frank eventually gets bored and shoves him unceremoniously to the mat! Up sits Soul, looking shocked, as Big Frank shows off his mega-biceps. SOUL Naw, naw, dat just ain't right! As Frank flexes the double biceps, Lucius complains to the referee and orders that he check Frank out. Despite the fact he's wearing no elbowpads. Referee Robinson makes this point, but Soul ducks his head through the ropes, refusing to continue until the check is made. VENTURA If Lucius is trying to play mind-games with The Sooners, he's wasting his time. The crowd get on the Nawlins native's back. But once he's sure that Frank isn't concealing any foreign objects [i]under his skin[/i], Lucius is good to go again. Another lock-up and this time Lucius doesn't try to match power, grabbing a side headlock. Big Frank just shoves Lucius off into the ropes with ease though. Underneath the elbow goes Lucius, rebounding back with good speed. But that speed just runs him into a shoulder check, knocking him clean off of his feet! Lucius scurries to the outside as the fired up Big Frank drops down and does some push-ups in the centre of the ring to show how easy life is right now! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" VENTURA Told ya! There's some mind games right back from two of the best! SCHIAVONE The Sooner Bruisers can intimidate you like no other team in the OAOAST. Size, strength and plenty of unpredictability. Lucius slides back into the ring, solely to tag Rico in legally before bailing back out. A bit more even in size are Frank and Rico, the Brazilian confident enough to lock-up with Frank even after his partner's failings. Frank quickly shifts behind Rico into a waistlock, picking him up off his feet and dumping him face-first. The former NCAA All American then rides Rico, who has no answer to it what-so-ever, except scramble out of the ring when Frank stops to paintbrush him in the back of the head. Getting tired of the stoppages, Big Frank opens up the ropes and 'invites' Rico back inside as he stands on the floor, thoughtfully stroking his porn 'stache. SCHIAVONE And Uber's not going to stand for this. Not at all, as he breaks up a Mardi Gras pow-wow and pitches Rico back into the ring! Big Frank quickly goes back on the offence on Rico... ...but as Uber turns to go back to his corner, he suddenly hits the deck off a CHOPBLOCK by Lucius!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" The referee doesn't see it, only spotting Lucius as he rushes back to the corner. Big Frank meanwhile has Rico up over his head in a Gorilla Press and slams him hard to the canvas. He covers... 1... 2... NO! VENTURA Big power there by Frank, but what he doesn't realise yet is that his partner is out on the floor, looking in a real bad way from where I'm sitting! Shoving Rico into a neutral corner, Frank clubs him across the chest with a forearm. And again. Referee Robinson tells him to get out of the corner and he does, bringing Rico with him by the hair. Whip off the ropes and Rico gets sent around the world, driven down with a real bad landing off the Tilt-A-Whirl Suplex! But as Frank gets up to make a tag, he notices for the first time his brother Uber laid out on the arena floor, distracting him while Rico crawls over to tag out. SCHIAVONE Uber looks hurt Jesse. VENTURA No doubt, when these Sooners stay down you know there's something to stay down for. Lucius clipped out that knee from the back, could have done any number of things to the leg. Ligaments, tendons, if Uber had that foot planted then anything could have gone. As Frank starts to leave the ring to check on his brother, the referee tries to convince him to stay in the ring. Under duress, he does... but as he goes back after Rico, he instead finds Lucius and a Bicycle Kick to the jaWii Down goes Frank, prompting Lucius to dive on top with an eager cover... 1... 2... NO! Mounting Frank, Lucius keeps the pressure on with some right hands before tagging Rico back in. SCHIAVONE And now it's two on one, for the time being at least. VENTURA Which Rico and Lucius are going to have to take advantage of. Simple as that. Lucius holds Frank open, for a boot to the ribs from Rico. The Mardi Gras partiers then combine to hit Big Frank with a Double Back Suplex, for another pin attempt... 1... 2... No! Crawling to his corner, Frank finds no respite as Uber continues to lie injured on the outside. Rico follows Frank in, taking a punch to the gut. And a second. But a rake of the eyes cuts off Frank's third shot, Rico then turning him around and smothering him against the middle turnbuckle. Once he's subdued Frank (and shrugged off the ref), Rico jogs over to make another exchange with Lucius. Leaping in over the top, Lucius measures The Man Of Tommorrow as he pulls himself up in the corner... AND LEVELS HIM WITH A YAKUZA KICK IN THE CORNER!! "OOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" A schoolboy brings Frank down out of the corner... 1... 2... NO!! Lucius gets right on Robinson's case about the count, before he notices Uber starting to pull himself back onto the apron. One kick sends him back to the floor, the left leg clattering off the concrete for good measure. VENTURA That's right, no time to be griping with the referee. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew have to press home this advantage while it's there! Grabbing Frank in a facelock, Lucius tries to drag him over to his corner. Moving the bigman is still a struggle though, so Rico doesn't wait for the tag and comes in anyway. Only the referee's five count can stop The Mardi Gras'ers from their double-team and they're well within that as they hit a double back elbow off a whip. Lucius feeds Rico his foot for the Assisted Standing Moonsault and hooks a deep leg... 1... 2... Kickout! This time a legal tag is made, to bring Rico back in, geed up by Lucius as he enters. "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" "RI - CO SUCKS!" Getting distracted briefly with the fans, Rico allows Frank to get a shot in from his knees! Frank lands two more punches to the gut and gets to his feet, crossing Rico's eyes with a big haymaker. The Brazilian fires back with a right hand of his own. But he makes the mistake of running the ropes, telegraphing a clothesline and falling prey to a German Suplex as Big Frank ducks the shot! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE You cannot underestimate the toughness of The Sooner Bruisers! Frank has been in there two on one all match, but he simply refuses to stay down. Lucius runs in and heaves Frank to his feet... but cannot heave him onto his shoulders for the F2S. A second attempt, no joy. So Soul rethinks, whipping Frank into the Mardi Gras corner. Soul backs up and throws himself at Frank with the Soul Brother Splash... NO! Big Frank sidesteps and GETS THE TAG to Uber! SCHIAVONE Here comes little brother! VENTURA But will the leg hold out on him? Obviously Lucius doesn't think so, having saved himself by landing on the bottom rope. He smiles as Uber hobbles into the ring, sprinting at the injured Sooner... ...AND GETTING CLUBBED DOWN WITH A SOONERLINE!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" SCHIAVONE Oh-ho-ho! Looks like it will Jesse! Uber hops past the motionless Lucius, spotting Rico as he charges with a double axehandle weilded. Catching Rico coming, Uber turns and throws him with a T-BONE SUPLEX, one leg and all! 1... 2... ...Lucius saves! Hobbling, Uber gets up but fails to get the first shot in on Lucius. A kick to the kneecap drops the 260 pounder Bruiser in a heap, Soul quickly barring the leg into a halfcrab! VENTURA Uber's howling. But he's howling in pain tonight. SCHIAVONE What a feather in the cap it would be for The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew, to not only beat The Sooner Bruisers but to do so via a submission! VENTURA They may never have a better shot than now. Uber reaches out but is nowhere near the ropes and struggling to crawl any closer. Lucius wrenches on the knee, yelling at Uber to give it up. Just as Uber is looking to be in trouble though, big brother Frank re-enters the ring. After a shot to the back he drags Lucius off of Uber, butterflying the arms and drilling him to the canvas with a powerbomb!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Flipping him over, Big Frank decides to kick back into the LAY-Z-BOY! VENTURA Now, who's the legal man here Schiavone!? And don't give me that 'I don't think it matters' crap you usually pull when you don't wanna answer! SCHIAVONE Well, if you know the answer already, why are you asking me? VENTURA I just wanna hear you say it! SCHIAVONE Okay then, Uber is legal... VENTURA Right! So why's the referee allowing Big Frank to stay in the ring if he's not legal? SCHIAVONE Well neither is Lucius. VENTURA So two wrongs make a right now? With Lucius shaking his head vehemently, Rico steps in to save his partner. A shot to the back of the head breaks the hold and Rico pitches Frank out of the ring. Rather than leave with him though, Lucius is helped to his feet to assist in a double team on Uber. SCHIAVONE Now, Lucius still isn't legal. VENTURA He's got a five count to get in and out Tony. Read the rulebook sometime. The MGHWC set up Uber for a double irish whip. On one leg he navigates his way back off the ropes, stopping short of the ducked heads and dropping Lucius and Rico with a DOUBLE DDT!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!" Back in comes Big Frank, clotheslining Lucius up and over the top, to the floor. The Man Of Tommorrow then catches Rico with a boot to the gut, ducking his head and taking The King Of The Mardi Gras up into the electric chair! SCHIAVONE Look out, could be the beginning of the end... Frank positions himself in front of the turnbuckles and Uber limps over. But as he tries to go up top, his leg gives out on him and he waves to his brother that he can't go up. So Frank re-adjusts. Getting his arms out in front, Frank flips Rico forward, catching him around the waist and SPIKING HIM INTO THE MAT WITH THE 69 DRIVER!!! "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" SCHIAVONE Well, one way or the other! VENTURA That is end of the end. You could count to a hundred. Frank stands guard, as Uber limps over to apply the pin... 1... 2... 3!!!! *DINGDINGDING!* SCHIAVONE And The Sooners are going to the Conference Final! BUFFER Here are your winners, advancing on in the 2008 Anderson Cup... THE SSOOOOOOOOOOONNEEEERRRR BBRRRUUUUUUIIIIIISSSSEEEEEERRRRRSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Deciding not to try and get back in, Lucius just stands on the outside holding his head having seen his partner get impaled before his eyes as "Frankenstein" hits. Uber has to use the ropes to pull himself up, still cringing at the pain in his knee. Big Frank shows his concern, only flexing [i]one[/i] bicep while he helps Uber get his feet with the other. SCHIAVONE The Homewrecking Crew had a gameplan. Isolate one Sooner, take out the other. And it seemed like it was working, if not for the determination and fighting spirit of these Sooner Bruisers. Uber fought through the pain and Big Frank fought the odds, meaning they will fight in the Conference Final next week against Christian Wright and Theodore Moneymaker, who can't be too pleased right now. VENTURA Maybe not, but there's a glimmer of hope in that left knee of Uber which I'm sure hasn't gone unnoticed in Enterprise Towers. Rico is dragged off to the back as The Sooners celebrate their victory.

That sounds about right. I still can't believe he didn't end up with a similar injury when he landed on his head at Steel Cage Warfare. Or in that singles match against Ricky Reyes at the 4th Year Anniversary show. Or in CZW when he fell off the cage at COD. Or....

He suffered the injuries in Japan, I know that much. EDIT: Apparantly he'll be out until April at the earliest. No idea what he actually did though.

Anderson Cup Conf. Semi Final The Sooner Bruisers vs. The Mardi Gras Homewrecking Crew Faqu and James Blonde vs. Todd Cortez and Jamie O'Hara

COLE AnglePalooza was indeed a night that we won't soon forget. It's a night that Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix will remember for a while I'm sure, for all the wrong reasons. Landon guaranteed victory in the Lethal Rumble Match and... well, suffice is to say, things didn't turn out the way he expected, thanks in no small part to Todd Cortez. [QUOTE=Last Sunday Night at ANGLEPALOOZA 2008] Battles go on around the ring, as in the middle, Landon Maddix is up. Shaken, but up. Maddix soon has a smile on his face though as he sees Cortez getting up with his back to him. Sneaking up behind, Landon takes Cortez by the head and tosses him over... but NOT out! Little does Landon realise this, dusting his hands with satisfaction as he walks away. Reject is up and points out Cuban Wall, Landon nodding and moving in. But he takes a step back and catches out Reject, clubbing him with a cheapshot to the back of the head before picking him up over his shoulders. COACH Looking for the G2S! Maddix carries Reject in the fireman's carry, turning around and... ...taking a boot, from Todd Cortez, shock giving way to fear as Cortez pulls him into a standing headscissors and tumbles forward, SPIKING MADDIX INTO THE CANVAS WITH THE RIOT ACT PLUS~!!!! COACH OH NO! COLE Maddix is read the Riot Act again! With Landon out of it, Cortez picks him right back off the canvas AND PITCHES HIM OUT OVER THE TOP TO THE DELIGHT OF THE CROWD!!!! "YYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" COLE HE'S OUT! Maddix is gone and I don't think he even knows it yet![/QUOTE] *Back to Sofa Central* COLE Another Riot Act Plus for Landon Maddix and another step farther from regaining the World Heavyweight Championship. Well during the week, the good folks at the OAOAST.com were sent a special video message from La Cucaracha, recorded a short time after AnglePalooza. Let's take a look at what Landon had to say, directed to his former running buddy Todd Cortez... [b][COLOR=orange]*WHOOSH~!*[/COLOR][/b] The footage begins with a couple of seconds of static, before suddenly the camera comes to life. The footage is kinda jumpy, much like you'd expect to see on any video on the internet. Indistinct sounds can be heard in the background as Landon leans against a plain beige coloured wall, deep in thought as he looks down at the floor beneath him. With a loud sigh Landon then looks up for the first time into the camera. MADDIX Todd Cortez, I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. Landon smiles to himself. MADDIX Guess I've got plenty to think about. Like you Todd. Like the way things have imploded between us these past few months. Like... all the times you've screwed me over these past few months, out of titles, title opportunities. And Todd, I've come to a conclusion just recently. You see, I understand your frustrations. I understand that you're an ambitious guy and you feel like you could be a somebody around here, amongst a sea of nobodies, of could-bes, of should-bes. But Todd, you see the problem is, you've got ideas above your station. Zack Malibu got in your head with tales of success and grandour. And you bought into it. You bought into those dreams. So you went and you turned your back on me. And ever since then you've been directing your frustrations towards me. Staring into the camera for a second, Landon bites at his lip. MADDIX You stabbed me in the back and at first, that angered me. But I've come to think and I've come to understand... you were doing what you thought was right for your career. And it's down to me to remind you that what is best for your career is being associated with me! Pointing at his chest for emphasis, Landon stops and collects himself. MADDIX You didn't realise, with all these dreams of being World Champion all of a sudden in your head, you were a [i]somebody[/i] when you were with Landon Maddix. Together, we made a great team. We won Tag Team Titles in the SWF. And we dominated the OAOAST as a part of The Wildcards. But something got inside your head and suddenly, you couldn't settle for second best. You couldn't see the big picture. Todd, you're good. But I'm great. And you couldn't stay by my side knowing that. I had the World Title. And you couldn't stay by my side and accept that. It's a damn shame Todd. Because it's a lonely world out there sometimes and your chances of being that success story you long to be are fading with every day you're not associated with me! Landon smiles to himself again. MADDIX You believe that beating me is going to be the next step. And quite frankly, I'm sick of you dumping me on my head with that ridiculous 'piledriver' of yours week in and weeks out trying to accomplish that. So I'm going to give you what you want. One on one, you and me, Todd. But under one condition. MY condition! [i]When[/i] I beat you Todd Cortez, you will be back by my side, the way it should be. You have to do what I say, when I say. You have to tow the line. You're more determined now, you're more focused now, but you're still not the wrestler that I am. So when I defeat you, Martial Law will reign again. Peace will be restored between us. And you will achieve success, I promise you. Drifting off for a second, a gleam appears in Landon's eye as he looks back into the camera. MADDIX And one day, maybe just maybe, you'll turn around... and you'll thank me. Landon stands motionless for a second, before nodding to himself and walking off out of camera shot. Again we go back to Sofa Central. COLE And we can confirm that that match has been signed and sealed by OAOAST President AngleSault. It'll be February 14th in Montreal, right here on HeldDOWN~!, Landon Maddix to go one on one with Todd Cortez. And if Landon wins then Todd Cortez must join Cucaracha Internacional.

We abruptly cut backstage to a scene of chaos. The lone cameraman rushes through the hallways, trailing behind a pair of referees who are just catching up to a couple of their colleagues. Shouts echo through the halls as the referees try in vain to pull apart a fight, breaking out between no less than ZACK MALIBU and BOHEMOTH!! The four officials are far from enough to keep the two from throwing fists at each other. Zack goes low on Bo and tackles him into a wall, Bo trapping him in a facelock and getting in a few uppercuts to the ribs. CHIODA Guys come on! That's enough! Chioda gets shoved out of the way as a shot sends Zack reeling down the hall. But he quickly regains his senses and turns to go back after Bo, jumping up on the bigman with right hands flying! The two turn a corner and disappear off down the hall, the officials running off after them in the vain hope of stopping them. *back to the arena* SCHIAVONE Wow. A real situation brewing backstage... let's go to the ring. *DINGDING!* BUFFER This contest is a Los Infernales Conference Semi Final Match in the 2008 Anderson Cup! .:CUE: "Chelsea Dagger", The Fratellis:. The lights alternate between red, white and blue through the intro to the song, boos ringing out as Nathaniel Black steps out onto the stage. Black raises his arms in the air and stomps to the ring confidently. BUFFER Introducing, team number one. The number eight seeds in the Los Infernales Conference... first, from London, England. Weighing in at two hundred and thirty eight pounds... NNAAAAATHHAAAANNIIIEEEEELLLLLL... BBLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Black slides partway under the bottom rope so he's facing into the crowd, staring out at them with contempt for a few seconds until he bridges up to his feet. SCHIAVONE So Black and O'Hara in their second match as a team, if you can call them that. And as we saw in their victory over Los Diablos two weeks ago, when they're on the same page there's potential in the team. VENTURA But there-in lies the problem. It's not a case of trying to be on the same page, they're being FORCED to be on the same page by AngleSault! I know 'Sault thinks forcing them into finding some common ground is going to sort out their differences, but I'm not so sure. That kinda thinking might work in some nine-to-five office job, but this is pro wrestling. If two people don't like each other, let 'em fight I say! SCHIAVONE It's not just 'O'Hara and Black' though Jesse. It's Black's mindset to people who don't wrestle his way, who don't act his way, that he's trying to sort out. VENTURA What the hell are you talking about Schiavone? He teams up with a crazy Samoan and a guy in a fur coat! They're hardly his kind of people under your criteria! "OOOOOOOOIIIIIIII!" "Fix Up, Look Sharp" pumps through the arena and a man who definately isn't Black's kind of people, Jamie O'Hara, walks through the entrance way with a typical swagger in his step. O'Hara throws some 'shout outs' down the camera in front of him as he heads to the ring, virtually ignored by Black who goes through his warm-ups. BUFFER And, from Birmingham, England... weighing in at one hundred and seventy pounds... "THE BIRMINGHAM BAD BOY" JJJAAAAAAAMMMMMIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE... OOOOOO'HHHHHHAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAA!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" In slides O'Hara, jumping to the middle rope to salute his fans and backflipping off back to the mat. Not appreciating the showboating, Black gets in O'Hara face and tells him in no uncertain terms to cut the showboating out. And again the referee is forced to seperate the 'partners' before their match has even begun. VENTURA See, I just can't see these two ever getting along. Even if they do win the Anderson Cup... even if they win the Tag Titles, there's just a huge clash of personalities that's not gonna go away. As O'Hara and Black continue their disagreement from across the ring, Rise Against's "Like The Angel" hits to remind them they've got opponents to worry about as it is. Out rush MARV and MEL, the brothers Nerdly fist-pumping out to the fans as two seperate rockets of pyro go up behind them, one orange and one blue! MARV and MEL then jog on to the ring. BUFFER And introducing their opponents. Hailing from Edmonton, Alberta Canada... total combined weight, three hundred and seventy pounds. They are the number five seeds in the Los Infernales Conference and former OAOAST World Tag Team Champions... MARV and MEL... THE CHRIST AIR EEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Fireworks, huh? Wonder if their 'secret advisor' had anything to do with that. SCHIAVONE Could be. MARV and MEL get the crowd pumped as Black ducks out of the ring to let O'Hara start the match. Still the disagreements go on though while the twin brothers of The CAE are the very model of continuity. A double high-five gives way to MEL starting out with O'Hara. *DINGDINGDING!* A show of respect from the two opponents does nothing to improve Black's mood, getting on O'Hara's case as he locks up. MEL quickly grabs a side headlock and sinks down to a knee to control O'Hara. Going down with the momentum however, O'Hara pulls out a front flip, over MEL's back and onto his feet to escape the headlock. MEL shows his appreciation for the escape as despite Black's encouragement to "get on him", O'Hara lets MEL up. They lock up again and this time it's O'Hara grabbing the headlock. MEL pushes him off into the ropes and a shoulder block knocks Jamie down. Off the ropes goes MEL now. A nip-up comes out of nowhere from J-OH though, allowing him to armdrag MEL over on the rebound. MEL then walks into a Hurricanrana, cradled into a pin by O'Hara... 1... 2... MEL pushes forward, putting O'Hara down on his shoulders... 1... 2... Rolling through, O'Hara jumps to the side of MEL and throws himself back with a Standing Moonsau... NO! MEL moves... but O'Hara gets his hands out and pushes off the mat and to his feet! Sidestepping O'Hara, MEL drops down and forces him over top as he hits the ropes. O'Hara springboards up to the middle rope on the other side. But as MEL takes a step back O'Hara fakes him out, landing harmlessly on his feet in front of MEL, backflipping from the mat and hooking his legs around MEL's head for a headscissors takeover!! "YYYEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE And that is what Jamie O'Hara can do like no other in the OAOAST. Great speed, incredible athleticism. Finding himself in a neutral corner MEL pulls himself up and stops to re-collect his thoughts. O'Hara meanwhile plays up for the crowd, again to the dismay of his partner. VENTURA That kinda thing's only going to get you so far though. And Black... The fans on each side of the arena rise to their feet in unison. Not for Jamie O'Hara though, but for the sight of ZACK MALIBU AND BOHEMOTH BUNDLING THROUGH THE ENTRANCE WAY!!! Zack and Bo are now being surrounded by at least twice as many officials and suits as they were before, having the same lack of success in pulling them apart as before. Zack is sent staggering down the aisle from big right hand from Bo, the bigman shrugging off the arms of three or four referees to get another shot on Zack. He runs into a right from Zack though, the two bundling into the ring apron as the action in the ring has abruptly stopped. VENTURA What is going on here!? SCHIAVONE Zack Malibu and Bohemoth, tempers have spilt over! They had to be seperated at AnglePalooza and it's going to take the same thing to seperate them tonight by the looks of it! VENTURA It's gonna take more than they've got at the moment, that's for sure! Bohemoth and Zack brawl around the ring as right on cue, another sea of official figures and road agents rush out from the back to try and get some control. The fight continues on unabaited meanwhile, as Zack bundles Bohemoth back into the ring steps hip first, sending Black into the ring to safety. The officials finally get a hold on Zack at this point, but he manages to break free, running at Bohemoth... who cuts him off with a knee and grabs Zack by the head, sending the referees scurrying... *THUD!* "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHH!!" ...BEFORE THROWING ZACK OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE, RIGHT ONTO SOFA CENTRAL!!! Michael Cole and Coach help out the officials by scrambling for cover and running for the lives. But they needn't worry, as the refs finally get in front of Bohemoth and hold him back from getting any more shots in. [b]"LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!" "LET THEM GO!"[/b] VENTURA Let 'em go some other time, we're in the middle of an Anderson Cup Match here! SCHIAVONE I don't think these two care Jesse. I doubt they're even aware where they are. The red mist has descended between these two and they're just worried about getting their hands on each other! VENTURA They're both sore because they're not going to AngleMania! Tell it like it is Schiavone! SCHIAVONE I don't doubt that for a second. And it looks like they blame each other for tha... LOOK OUT!!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The crowd go NUTS as Zack Malibu jumps from sofa to announce table and SOARS onto the sea of people in front of him with reckless abandon! Referees, officials, road agents and Bohemoth of course go down, everybody dragging themselves up quickly in order to pull Zack off of Bohemoth! At this point more reinforcements head out from the back, the LOCKER ROOM being emptied to keep the two apart (and that's a LOT of people!). Amongst them, Leon Rodez gets a hold of Zack's arm and tries to talk some sense into him, which is going unnoticed apparantly as Zack continue to try and wrestle free. Two-thirds of the bodies are around Bohemoth as finally Zack is restrained and the people around him start to manoeuvre him back towards the backstage area. SCHIAVONE I haven't seen Zack like this in some time. He wants to go, he wants Bohemoth! VENTURA And the feeling is more than mutual let me tell ya! There's a lot of hurt pride out there, a lot of tension brimming over. SCHAVIONE O... okay, we're going to go to a break while we sort this out. Don't go anywhere, our Anderson Cup match WILL continue once we've restored order... we'll... we'll be back! [b]*COMMERCIAL BREAK!*[/b] As we return from commercial, it's a thankfully calmer scene in the arena. Zack and Bohemoth have been carted off and the action has resumed, with MARV and Nathaniel Black in mid-flow. MARV goes up and over the roadblock created by Black, rebounding off the ropes and countering with a dropkick as Black attempts to throw him up into the air! "YYEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Welcome back everyone. We apologise for having to leave you briefly, but we've managed to get control and this crucial Anderson Cup Match continues on, as a tag is made. Controlling the arm with a wristlock, MARV holds Black in place for an axehandle smash from the top by MEL. Grabbing the arm, MEL then wrings it out into a wristlock of his own... but suddenly gets yanked forward by Black and turned INSIDE OUT with a Short-Arm Lariat!! "OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" VENTURA That's gonna change the complexion of things. Black picks MEL up off the canvas and runs him back across the ring, into his team's corner. As he stomps away, O'Hara slaps Black on the back and tags himself in. Oddly Black doesn't seem too concerned by that and continues kicking away without getting on his partner's back. Waiting for Black to get out of the way, O'Hara then slingshots himself into the ring, coming in with a dropkick against the bottom turnbuckle on MEL! He drags MEL out of the corner, hooking a leg... 1... 2... No! O'Hara brings MEL back to his feet, before taking him with with a snap suplex. Positioning himself in front of Black, O'Hara then sets... and hits a Standing Corkscrew Press!! 1... 2... NO! BLACK Oi! Gimme a tag! O'Hara obliges and Black waits for him to get into position in the corner. Stomping MEL, Black then positions himself beside the prone MEL and sets, for a Standing... up yours hand gesture to O'Hara, before applying a chinlock on MEL! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA Haha! There's some wrestling right there, none of this gymnastic crap! SCHIAVONE And you can hear which these fans in Cleveland prefer. VENTURA Well, we are in America. Style over substance, truer than ever considering we're in SuperBowl weekend. Fighting to his feet, MEL is abruptly chopped back down with a European uppercut from the European competitor. "That's how us English wrestle!" Black yells at his partner, before tagging in aggressively back into the fray. Shrugging, O'Hara follows his partner's lead, hitting MEL with a considerably less effective European uppercut. MEL stays on his feet, so O'Hara is encouraged to hit another one... but instead he sweeps out MEL's legs and hits a Standing Moonsault! 1... 2... NO! SCHIAVONE Two very different approaches, but the end result is the same, MEL in trouble. VENTURA Yeah, but I don't think Black's convinced somehow. As MEL pulls himself up, O'Hara crouches down waiting on him. SuperJay then takes flight with a spinkick... ducked by MEL, but O'Hara lands on his feet. A waistlock prevents MEL from getting over to make a tag. O'Hara struggles to keep a hold on MEL however, especially when an elbow cracks him up under the jaw. Standing switch by MEL, going behind and applying a full nelson. O'Hara squirms free of the hold and sits down, throwing up his legs looking to cradle MEL. But MEL catches him in a wheelbarrow and throws him up, back onto his feet, re-applying the full nelson and driving him forward with a Full Nelson Facebuster!! SCHIAVONE Face-first goes O'Hara, no way to sugar coat that! Sensing the same thing, MEL turns Jamie over and reaches back for a leg... 1... 2... Kickout! With the pinfall not succeeding, MEL heads for his corner to make the tag now. SCHIAVONE In comes the fresh man, MARV, looking to get over his Lethal Rumble disappointment here tonight. MARV quickly brings O'Hara up and lands a forearm. A second. And a third. O'Hara falls to one knee and MARV grabs a wrist, pulling him back to his feet and whipping him into the ropes. Around the world goes J-OH... and out the other side he comes, landing on his feet and hitting a flipping dropkick! O'Hara then rolls over to his corner, getting the tag out to Nathaniel Black. SCHIAVONE Black wasn't exactly stretching for that. VENTURA Doesn't matter, he's in and he's got MARV in his sights. As MARV picks himself up, Black catches him from behind with a Half Nelson Backbreaker!! Cover... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! With two handfuls of hair (something not going unnoticed by the referee), Black drags MARV right back up. A headbutt unsteadies the Canadian heartthrob. And a second, same effect, setting MARV up as Black hits the ropes... but the Lariat is ducked! MARV boots Black as he turns around and floats over, looking for a sunset flip. The 185 pounds MARV struggles to bring Nathaniel down however, needing the help of MEL with a running dropkick to haul the Englishman down... 1... 2... NO! As Black kicks out, Jamie O'Hara springs back into the match, springboarding to the top and wiping out MEL with a Springboard Somersault Seated Senton! SCHIAVONE You simply can't take your eyes off of Jamie O'Hara for a second! Rolling off of MEL, O'Hara waits in the wings as Black sends MARV off the ropes with an irish whip. As he rebounds MARV tumbles forwards with a roll, forcing Black to hurdle him. As MARV rolls through, O'Hara comes off the ropes in front of him with the Busaiku Knee Kick... but MARV ducks and [i]Black[/i] ends up getting the knee to the face! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" SCHIAVONE Uh-oh, a miscue there. VENTURA Or was it? SCHIAVONE Oh, I think that was unintentional Jesse. With Black down, O'Hara freezes for a second and gets spun around by MARV. A scoop and a slam only half succeeds though, O'Hara floating up and over and getting the slam on MARV. No prizes for guessing where O'Hara heads now. Up top, looking to fly. SCHIAVONE We could see any number of things from the top rope with Jamie. One of those being a punch to the gut, courtesy of MEL. On the opposite side of the turnbuckles from O'Hara, MEL stops him from reaching the top with shots to the midsection which leave O'Hara stranded on the middle turnbuckle outside. With O'Hara stunned MEL then climbs up with him. Both men are precariously placed on the middle rope on the outside, holding onto each other for support while they exchange shots. As this is going on, MARV recovers and quickly rolls back to his feet, climbing to the middle rope on the [i]inside[/i] and looking to help out his partner. VENTURA This cannot end well Tony. Three men in a very dangerous position! MEL and MARV get their shots in on O'Hara, but the Englishman lands an elbow to the gut on MARV. O'Hara then hits a right hand on MEL. Holding onto the top turnbuckle, MEL manages to avoid falling to the floor. He then reels back for a right of his own... but O'Hara has the same idea, both men punching each other at the same time and BOTH FALLING FROM THE MIDDLE BUCKLE TO THE ARENA FLOOR BELOWii "OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" VENTURA Something had to give and it gave right there. SCHIAVONE O'Hara and MEL just took each other out of the equation, in a big way. As they lay on the outside, MARV finds himself all alone up on the middle rope. Before he can think of climbing back down however, Nathaniel Black reaches up from underneath and Powerbombs him down!! Black stacks MARV on his shoulders... 1... 2... KICKOUT!! SCHIAVONE Only two, but with MEL and O'Hara out of the picture we may be down to a one on one match. VENTURA Which can only suit Nathaniel Black! Dragging MARV into the centre of the ring, Black crosses the arms underneath and sets him up for the Pyramid Bomb. MARV does his best to block the lift, dropping to a knee. Black is too powerful though and muscles MARV back up, throwing him up onto the shoulders. However he loses the arms with the lift, allowing MARV to float over the back with a sunset flip... 1... Black rolls through with the momentum and laces up the legs, deadlifting MARV up off the canvas for another traditional Powerbo... ...NO, MARV floats through this time, landing on his feet in front of Black. Hooking the head, MARV then trips out the leg, as MEL slides into the ring and connects with the Enziguri, Black then driven face-first with the Flatliner, sending him to the PEARLY GATES!! SCHIAVONE No, it's MEL, The Christ Air Express with a patented double-team move! MEL carries on out of the ring, as MARV hooks the leg... 1... 2... 3!!!! "YYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!" Black kicks out a split second too late, O'Hara a split second too late getting back into the ring as well. MARV jumps up and embraces MEL, the brothers Nerdly having their hands raised in victory as O'Hara pulls himself up and wonders what happened. SCHIAVONE What a victory for MEL and MARV, let's get the official word! BUFFER Your winners of the match, advancing to the Los Infernales Conference Final... THE CHRIST AAAAAIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRR EEEXXXXPPRRRRRREEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!!! "YYYYYEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!" MARV and MEL leave the ring with fists pumping and eyes gleaming, while Black starts to pull himself up. Looking a little shaken-up still, Black shakes out his head and glares as O'Hara questions him over... well, getting beat. Clearly blaming his partner for the errant knee earlier, Black tells O'Hara to "back off". But as a chant of "LOOO - SER, LOOO - SER" rings through the arena, Jamie cheekily waves for the fans to get louder... *WHAM!* ...AND GETS A LARIAT FOR HIS TROUBLES!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" VENTURA And all bets are off now! Black staggers a little as he stands back up, getting his bearings before putting the boots to O'Hara. But as he does so, MARV and MEL rush back from the aisle and dive into the ring to make the save! Black quickly hightails it out of the ring, holding his head all the while as The Christ Air Express check O'Hara is okay. SCHIAVONE Nathaniel Black proving himself to be a sore loser once again. VENTURA That's got nothing to do with it. Black was told he and O'Hara had to get along as long as they were in the Anderson Cup. Well, now he doesn't have to worry about standing the sight of him anymore, he can just clothesline his head off! SCHIAVONE And I guess AngleSault is back to square one with Nathaniel Black. As Black marches off, O'Hara is helped to his feet by The Christ Air Express. O'Hara graciously shakes the hands of MARV and MEL and raises their hands in the air, with "Like The Angel" striking up again. SCHIAVONE And The Christ Air Express, two matches away from the change of a lifetime at AngleMania!

COLE As we said, the Anderson Cup Conference Semi Finals kick off tonight. For more information, Jesse "The Body" and Tony Schiavone, take it away! Across the arena we pan, over to the interview stage where Jesse and Tony stand with their backs to the entrance way. SCHIAVONE Thank you very much Michael. Just eight teams remain in this year's Anderson Cup competition, with one of those teams just eight and a half weeks away from the opportunity of a lifetime at AngleMania VII! This week and next will see the Conference Semi Finals contested. The Conference Finals on Feburary 14th in Montreal will determine the Anderson Cup finalists. And that match, for a shot at the One And Only World Tag Team Championships, will take place in St Louis on February 28th at the Leap Year Spectacular! Right now, we're going to take a look at the brackets and get some expert opinion from Jesse "The Body" before we get the action underway. [IMG=http://i261.photobucket.com/albums/ii59/KingCucaracha/AndersonCup.gif] SCHIAVONE There you see it. Jesse, your thoughts? VENTURA It looks real nice. Whoever designed it is real talented. SCHIAVONE I was thinking more regarding the matches. VENTURA Oh, of course. Well, you look at the Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference and you see four sets of former champions. D*LUX and Mardi Gras, former HI-YAH Tag Champs. And Wright and Moneymaker and The Sooners, former OAOAST Tag Team Champions. Four very accomplished teams. Over on the Los Infernales side, you've of course got the former champs, The Heavenly Rockers. The Christ Air Express... 'technically' they're former Tag Champs too, although that seems like another lifetime ago. Team Heyross were WDW Tag Team Champions and shown occassional flashes of brilliance here in the OAOAST. And then there's the wildcard of Black and O'Hara, who are anything but a 'team' and yet picked up a pretty convincing victory in the end in the first round. SCHIAVONE One of the tightest fields we've seen? VENTURA Yeah, not too many first round surprises, taking most of the top seeds through. I think what stands out to me looking at those brackets Schiavone... what if The Sooner Bruisers advance out of the MWC Conference... and what if The Heavenly Rockers win the Los Infernales Conference? Wouldn't that be something? SCHIAVONE That would be one heck of a final, no doubt. But the crucial question Jesse is, who's your money on? Jesse grins. VENTURA I think you got it spot on right there Schiavone. The keyword is [i]money[/i]. And my money is on the money! Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright to go two years in a row, ya heard it here first! SCHIAVONE Well, we'll see how they fare later on in our main-event when they take on D*LUX. But first it'll be Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara to try and co-exist once more, against The Christ Air Express! Those matches to come here tonight from Cleveland.

The DVD commentary brings up a few good points actually. My opinion was pretty much summed up on the DVD commentary too (yes, I'm a nerd, shock horror) by either Josh Weinstein or Bill Oakley. As an actual stand alone episode of The Simpsons, it's perfectly good and the story itself is interesting. But it is a pretty 'out there' idea compared to most episodes. Most of the episodes that are a little different, you can usually tell before they come on. Shows like the Spinoff Showcase or Behind The Laughter, you know it's something different coming up. This one, it kinda sneaks up on you, just a normal episode and then suddenly 'what the hell, Skinner's an imposter, where did that come from!?' I think that's why most people who hate it do hate it. Which I guess proves Keeler's point. I mean I like the episode fine, I like the story fine, but I'm still not keen on the general idea that Skinner isn't Skinner, but I don't know why exactly.

What's so 80's about love? Love is universal, man. You just have to let it in.

Speaking of WCW Tag Titles and tournaments, how about the 'lethal lottery' tournament for the belts in 2000? That was a low point in tag team wrestling history, for sure.

I don't know what you're all talking about.

(send all marked matches, promos etc to King Cucaracha) The 2008 Clusterfuck provided not one but TWO major shocks that have changed the face of the SWF completely! The fallout from the 'Fuck doubles up as the build to From The Fire, and there'll be no Valentine's love spread amongst the dateless wonders that are the SWF superstars... not with the possibility of a second new World's Champion in as many shows! Will it be a case of a Date With Destiny or a Date With Disaster in Grand Rapids? SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE Michael Alexander© vs. MANSON Michael Alexander pulled off... well, not a shock upset perhaps because the signs were definitely there, but certainly a surprising win when he dethroned Toxxic, the most dominant World Champion in the last four years. As a result the Mad Scientist of the Mat has claimed the biggest prize in the business, and what's more has become only the third wrestler to do so to have joined the fed since the SJL closed its doors for the last time back in 2004 (the second if we ignore Wes Davenport, and it's company line that we do so, even if he is clearly awesome). The first challenge for our new World Champion? Not the winner of the Clusterfuck, because El Hombre Sin Nombre gets his shot at From The Fire. No, Alexander's first obstacle to overcome is his erstwhile tag team partner, MANSON! Slaughterhouse/5 have yet to capture the tag team titles, but MANSON was on a serious roll in the latter part of last year and is undefeated since Genesis. Form of that sort demands recognition, so Commissioner Maddix booked this match. These men know each other for sure, but as partners, not opponents. It's the former New Blood champion against old blood, one of the longest-serving and cagiest veterans around. Can MANSON turn his seven year on-again, off-again stint with the company into the big singles gold? Or will Alexander cement his place at the top? Will they still be able to tag afterwards? Either way, it should be awesome! Word Limit: 6500 Rules: Standard singles Send To: Toxxic "The Superior One" Tom Flesher vs. Alan Clark The usually reliable Tom Flesher has drifted away from the fed since his failed World Title shot last year, and his failure to even manage a match with Nathaniel Kibagami before Christmas wasn't rescued by a tenacious but ultimately unsuccessful showing in the 'Fuck. Tonight he goes one-on-one with one of the more bizarre men we've had on board, as Clark can never seem to decide whether he's a fun-loving Disney employee, a country musician, a hardcore maniac or, more recently, a fun-loving-in-hardcore-matches Disney employee. Possibly listening to country music. We have two former World Champions here, people. Flesher needs a win to retain his place near the main event, Clark is back from a layoff of several months and is probably itching to prove himself again. Let battle commence. Word Limit: 4500 Rules: Standard singles Send To: King Cucaracha Special Showcase Match El Hombre Sin Nombre vs. Olaf Andersen El Hombre Sin Nombre won the Clusterfuck. Not only did he win it, but he won it in his first ever appearance for the company! Now he has to show that he's more than a fluke win from a Va'aiga lariat, and he needs to go through Olaf Andersen to do it! The Four Norsemen seemed to take exception to the luchadore after his big win, so can he get revenge? Word Limit: 3000 Rules: Standard singles Send To: King Cucaracha Scott Pretzler vs. Dance Dance Dragon Dance Dance Dragon came so close, SO close to defeating Wildchild for the Cruiserweight Title at the Clusterfuck, but he fell short when Wildchild had his scouting scouted (if you get what I mean). Now he needs to take on Scott Pretzler, who came back with a bang but has since slightly faded into the background. Will Triple D dance to victory over the Critic, or will Pretzler score a big win which would be sure to launch him back up the card and towards stardom? Word Limit: 5000 Rules: Standard singles Send To: Toxxic Hardcore Rulez Match Insane Luchador vs. Taiga Star Do you need an description? Insane Luchador IS hardcore, he's so hardcore he's not Mexican, was never masked and doesn't use an 'e' on the end of his name. Plus he bleeds and comes back for more, and can make an offensive weapon out of items that would make even the A-Team draw a blank. Taiga Star is a short, dumpy girl who likes to hit people with foreign objects and is out to show that this is a woman's business as much as it is a man's business! Go fight, people. Word Limit: 4000 Rules: Hardcore Rules! Send To: King Cucaracha Annie Eclectic vs. Johnny Dangerous Yes, you read that right, Annie Eclectic is back. YES, ANNIE IS BACK. Back from the wilderness, back from Japan, back from wherever it is she's been, the self-professed Hardcore Queen is still here, still gay (no-one's seen Chris Wilson recently, right?) and still out to kick ass. Johnny Dangerous is in freefall down the card and needs to start putting in performances before he ends up carrying the Four Norsemen's bags. The Barracuda has a chance to spoil Annie's 4567th comeback, but can he take it? Or will Annie dispatch him and then head onwards and upwards? Word Limit: 4000 Rules: Standard singles Send To: JHawk IN THE HOUSE OF MARVELLOUS The new, 100% shocking, Clusterfuck winning #1 Contender El Hombre Sin Nombre will be in The House Of Marvellous, to announce his choice of stipulation for his World Title Match at From The Fire! The Fabulous Jakey vs. Orden Noash Jakey's another face who's been lacking a little lately. Orden Noash is looking for a win in his first match with the company. Hopefully, one of these two will pull it out and do themselves a favour. Noash might seem to have the advantage, but in the fight of the unusual names it's worth bearing in mind that Jakey is far harder to beat than his diminutive size might suggest. Word Limit: 3000 Rules: Standard singles Send To: Toxxic

Not with Uma(n)ga in it, I wouldn't think.

Yeah, we might call in you in that case. Thanks for the heads up. Card should be up by tonight, once I've cleared a couple of things with Toxxic. And just to clarify, this show will be the 14th of February and From The Fire will follow on either the 27th or the 28th. So this show'll be the lead in to FTF.

"PYRO: ^" got a legit laugh from me when I saw it. I stand corrected on Cena tonight. No terrible toilet humour, no equally terrible homo humour, no salute, only one 'can't see me' gesture. They just gave him a microphone and let him talk about his injury and be himself. I was pleasantly surprised.

So, speaking of NOT basketball, the show is 2/2, correct? Anderson Cup Conference Semi Final The Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara No doubt there will be fallout from the Rumble as well.

I don't want to come off like the typical 'Cena hater' by saying this, but I've got almost zero interest in tonight. Cena's promo will probably be the Same Old Shit as usual, another barrage of catchphrases and gay jokes from The Rock's old and tired repetoire, which is a frustrating waste of a guy who can cut a killer promo given the chance. Orton and Hardy... why should that issue be continuing? Orton pinned Hardy clean at the PPV. That should traditionally be the set-up for them to move onto something new. And JBL and Jericho's are just starting to get into a 'blood feud', so what sense is there in sticking them in a tag match together? Unless they end up getting DQed or brawling off to the back or something like that it really cools the feud down coming off of the non-finish at the PPV. Why would JBL or Jericho be content to just stand across the ring from each other and be held back by one referee, waiting for a tag, if they hate each other so badly? And HHH versus Umaga is a feud that just refuses to die, with the added bonus of Snitsky, who's one of the few guys who I couldn't think of one single opponent I'd be interesting in seeing him paired up with. Which just leaves Santino.

Same here, although now it's the other way around (it's natural now, when they work the New Alhambra it looks odd for a while with the larger ring, plus they 'debuted' a larger ring at their show last night which looked really weird in the tiny Hellertown venue). Probably the same for TNA too. I've gotten used to it. Exactly. It's argueable, with the current popularity of wrestling, which one would be more embarassing to most people to be honest.

Another favourite from A Milhouse Divided. Kirk: Sure. Divorce. Hey, you got it toots! And here's a picture even you can figure out! [draws a circle in a rectangle] It's a door! Use it! Homer: That's a door!? I think nostalgia plays a part in it. The Simpsons currently is far from a 'bad' show, if you treat it as a stand-alone episode in TV. But when you compare it to the older seasons... well, even the goofier stuff that'd get ridiculed today worked back then, put it that way. I was watching the episode where they went to the Ranch on vacation the other day and it was a perfectly funny episode. Didn't enjoy it as much as the older seasons and some bits were absolute duds (Maggie dancing to Britney Spears, the car kicking into the air like a horse at the end), but it was still a good show. And I don't know why, but The Moe Syzlak Connection song at the end always cracks me up. From "A Tale Of Two Springfields" (Season 12) Homer: Television broken? Bart: No. There's a badger in there. Homer: Badger my ass, it's probably just Milhouse. *crawls into doghouse* Milhouse ... Milhouse! *the badger attacks Homer: Yep. It's a badger, alright. Lisa: How did the badger do that without ripping your shirt? Homer: What am I, a tailor?

Clusterfuck is up, next card being worked on at the moment. Thanks to those who made the effort to bail us out at the end.

^ Ditto on all counts.

Brought to you by American Express Taped: January 24th, 2007 First air date: January 26th, 2007 (check local listings for airings in your area) Announce team: Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura Lead corespondent: Tony Brannigan The special AnglePalooza Preview edition of Syndicated opens up with a video package highlighting the 29 announced competitors in the Lethal Rumble Match. The recent interactions in the build up to AnglePalooza between PRL, Mad Cappa and the Stephen Joseph Popick Corporation, Landon Maddix and Todd Cortez and Zack Malibu and Bohemoth are highlighted heavily, as are the likes of Alfdogg, Theodore Moneymaker and Reject who have already spoken of their intentions to win the Rumble. Tony Schiavone and Jesse "The Body" Ventura welcomed us to the show and hyped the big main-event, Internationally Known/Cucaracha Internacional to take on Todd Cortez and World Tag Team Champions The Lone Star Gunslingers. TONIGHT! The show started with a match stemming from last week though. The Christ Air Express took on Simon Singleton and Biff Atlas, subbing in for the still injured Ned Blanchard. ***The Christ Air Express -VS- Simon Singleton and Biff Atlas w/Molly Nerdly*** Clips of the endings to last week's respective singles matches played through the entrances, Biff and MARV qualifying for the Lethal Rumble at the expense of MEL and Simon respectively. Former rivals Biff and Simon struggled to get on the same page at the start of the match and their in-experience as a team showed as The CAE ran them ragged. The tide turned on a cheapshot from Simon, getting a knee in to the back of MEL as he hit the ropes and allowing Biff to hit a big Belly To Belly. Singleton took the lead for his team and got the unpredictable Biff in check long enough to cut MEL off in their half of the ring. The makeshift team got a little too adventurous though and a mistimed attempt at the Beverly Hills Blonds' Rocket Launcher missed the target, allowing MEL to get the tag. MARV cleaned house and it looked bad for Simon and Biff, forcing Melody to jump to the apron and run a distraction. Her brothers fell for it which saved Biff from a Happy Ending. But as Simon passed Biff the clapboard, MEL saved MARV from a shot to the back of the head and dropped him with a DDT on the foreign object! MEL quickly cut off Simon, as MARV then turned around and set Biff up for the Marvellousity (Pheonix Splash) to win the match! Winners: The Christ Air Express, via pinfall As Simon WEPT over his now broken clapboard, we got a timely reminder of the Anderson Cup standings... NEXT WEEK ON HELDDOWN~! The Conference Semi Finals begin... Los Infernales Conference: The Christ Air Express vs. Nathaniel Black and Jamie O'Hara Miracle Weirdness Connection Conference: Theodore Moneymaker and Christian Wright vs. D*LUX ***Denzel Spencer -VS- Worthington Steel*** A nice showcase for the Jamaican, going into his first Lethal Rumble. Denzel used his speed on the mohawked enhancement talent, rocking him with an array of kicks in the early going. Worthington got a brief advantage after avoiding a charge in the corner. But it was only brief, Denzel catching him with a quick DDT and following that up with a Scissors Kick. Denzel then swiftly finished Worthington off with the Carribean Compactor (Northern Lights Bomb). Winner: Denzel Spencer, via pinfall The AnglePalooza RecaPalooza was of the controversial ending to the 2003 Royal Rumble Match, won by Angle-Plex from under the nose of Zack Malibu. Thankfully, revisionist history means we aren't shown any clips of the riot that occured afterwards. Jesse: "Did we really need to see that again?" Up at the interview stage, Tony Brannigan's guest for the week was the International Champion, Felix Strutter. Ahead of the biggest match of his entire life, Strutter was pretty confident, even after Brannigan reminded him of his pinfall loss at the hands of Colombian Heat a couple of weeks ago on HeldDOWN~! Apparantly, that didn't count because it was a tag team match. Always a good excuse. Anyway, Strutter said that he heard Reject "whining" on last week's show and said that he doesn't whine. Instead, he'd go out and turn himself into a big star rather than waiting for them to come to him, by becoming the unified OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion. The HeldDOWN~! recap then focused on Theodore Moneymaker and his shocking announcement that not only does Krista Isadora Duncan have an illegitimate child, but he or she is on the OAOAST payroll! ***Mr. Boricua -VS- Blake Hamilton*** Jesse: "Odds on the child being Mr. Boricua? Eh, I'd say about a 1 in 150. Krista's a fitness queen, after all, I can't see her being into fat love." Boricua, the #30 entrant in the Lethal Rumble, made short work of his outmatched opponent. Very short work. An avalanche in the corner pretty much finished Blake off within 20 second, but Boricua dragged it out a little before finishing off Hamilton with the Latino Bomb and a one foot pin. Winner: Mr. Boricua, via pinfall Jesse and Tony took a moment to run down the AnglePalooza card as it stands. World and International Championship Unification Match, Stephen Joseph Popick versus Felix Strutter versus Colombian Heat; The 30 Man over the top rope Lethal Rumble Match for a chance to main-event AngleMania VII; OAOAST World Tag Team Championship Match, The Lone Star Gunslingers versus James Blonde and Faqu; No Disqualification Match, Krista Isadora Duncan versus Theodore Moneymaker; James "The Pheonix" Cone versus Jester 30 men. One ring. A shot at wrestling immortality on the biggest stage of them all. ANGLEPALOOZA 2007 January 27th(ish), Atlanta, GA LIVE on Pay-Per-View! (BTW, we were the ORIGINAL HD TV, fuckers) Ahead of the main-event, we got a quick reminder of two weeks ago on HeldDOWN~!, when James Blonde and Faqu stole The Lone Star Gunslingers' Tag Team Title belts after an unsuccessful title challenge. Leading to the rematch at AnglePalooza, but first... ***Cucaracha Internacional (Nathaniel Black, James Blonde and Faqu) -VS- The Lone Star Gunslingers and Todd Cortez w/Melody Nerdly*** Blonde and Faqu came to the ring with The Gunslingers' titles in their possession just to really rub some salt into the wounds. The referee assigned Charles Robinson had to keep the teams apart before the opening bell, with the Texans clearly still hot about the theft of their belts. Black started the match for his team and fared pretty well in out-wrestling Jock and then Baron. But a different prospect altogether proved Todd Cortez. An early Riot Act Plus attempt was nixed by Blonde however and the introduction of Faqu into the match shifted it into the favour of the former HI-YAH trio. The Gunslingers could only look on in frustration as Black and Blonde interchanged in and out with the big Samoan, using him to wear down Cortez before they tried to put him away. They couldn't seem to manage it though and eventually, Cortez got out of the Guilt Trip (Playmaker) and turned Blonde inside out with a clothesline! Jock got the tag and The Texas Twister tore through the opposition, even Faqu. The Tag Champions started to run away with the match and disposed of Faqu with a double dropkick before setting up Black for the Lone Star Lasso. A lowbridge from Blonde caused Jock to tumble to the outside though and Black rolled up Baron into a seated butterfly lock. Before Jock could tap, Cortez made the save, wiping out Blonde before getting close nearfall off of an Urban Assault (Sitout Chokeslam) on Nathaniel. As he set up for the Riot Act Plus though, Faqu blindsighted him with a thrust kick and a big splash for a close 2 count! That sent Faqu into a rage but The Gunslingers took him out as he went after the referee, following him to the floor while Blonde set up Cortez in the ring. He got out of a powerbomb attempt though and landed a superkick, before ducking a charge from Black and quickly drilling him with a Riot Act Plus~!!! which put the Brit down for the three!! Winners: Lone Star Gunslingers and Todd Cortez, via pinfall As Cortez started to celebrate his win, Blonde quickly grabbed the Tag Titles and made off before The Gunslingers could reclaim them. Blonde managed to get Faqu to leave, keeping the raging monster from going back for more, as The Gunslingers pointed them down from the ring vowing to reclaim what's their's at AnglePalooza.