Murmuring Beast

I'll be your assistant but I'm not filling that shit out.

Wait, I thought I was Reverse! SCREWJOB! PLAGIARIST! EAGEN OMG

You only get two terms. A term equals a week. After the first week, there'll be a vote to decide whether Banky should stay in.

Piccadilly Circus isn't really a circus...*rimshot* Come to Glasgow instead, much better.

But you act gay, so you should understand.

Please use these special polystyrene bats to playfully hit each other with. Wait, where did the polystyrene go?

Quiet you.

Oh, sweet delicous irony.

I'm still trying to figure out who's in my team. Wouldn't want to knock anyone out with 'friendly fire' Draft Death Count: +0

Edited for clarity. =-Mike And no, he's all three of me.

Edited for clarity. =-Mike

So this whole thing was a ploy to get Fooster? My god, it's genius. I can't believe we all fell for it. The unbridled genius that went into planning and executing this absolutely sterling ploy makes my mind explode, as it is clearly so high-concept that my simple mind cannot fully grasp it in its entirety. Genius, Frigid Soul....genius. FRICTION!

+0 =-Mike

Props for the excellent Brian Wilson pic, Kylie. Nice one.

This is like gym-class all over again.

I have London Calling, but, incredibly, I've not listened to it all the way through. I've never really got any of the two acclaimed Radiohead albums, The Bends and Ok Computer. Those two just kinda went over my head. Maybe I'll get round to getting it some day.

I work on a switchboard which accepts incoming calls about government benefits from London, England, which is weird because I'm in Glasgow, Scotland. Anyway, I've been doing this job for about 2 months now and it's quite good as the money's ok and I'm on fair hours. So today I get a call from some Cockney loud-mouth: Hello, my name's Martin, how can I help you? I want the sick section. I'm on sick benefit There's no such section as 'sick' so I ask him if he's on incapacity, the proper name for the benefit someone ill or who is unable to work is on. Are you on incapacity benefit, sir? I'm on sick. Sick benefit. So it's incapacity then.. NO, it's SICK Don't make me repeat myself! In frustration, I cut the guy off. Partly the reason for this was because I had a caller earlier on who was so kind and who was patient with me when I was trying to look up a phone number which they could ring to get assistance. I thought this guy was just being a pain in the ass. However, the guy phones back and gets through to a more senior member of staff. She's sitting just across from me and I can guess with her tone that it's the same guy. She apologizes for the fact that he was cut off, citing that it might have been accidental on the switchboard operator's part. Then he tells her he wants to speak to a manager about it. Before she puts him through, she asks whether he was speaking to a male or female operator. He obviously says male. Now, there were only two males members of staff in today and the other guy was on his lunch at the time so... Shit. She puts him through to a manager and I get up to go to the toilet to pull myself together because I know I'm in for a roasting. Because the person I was covering for returns for lunch I have to move to another computer to work, and as I sit down I explain the situation to the woman next to me. She is supportive as says she would have done the same thing. I'm not so sure. Anyway, the woman supervisor who answered the phone comes up to me and confronts me about it. I get out of my seat to meet her and we talk in full-view of some other members of staff. Did you have a Mr... on the line, Martin? I say yes in reply. Do you cut him off by accident? I knew I couldn't lie so I put my hands up, literally, and said that I did it deliberately because I didn't care for the way the guy was speaking to me. I explained to her that I regretted it as I was feeling pretty guilty about it. To her credit, she didn't fly off the handle but gave me a stern 'make sure it doesn't happen again' talk. I sat down relieved. Later on in the day, I think the switchboard manager gets wind of the whole situation but she doesn't say anything to me. So all in all, this was quite a fuck-up which could have gone a lot more wrong than it did. And all this after I was given a new 6-month extension on my contract... Any similar stories?

Draft me, even though I am usually a concientous objector to such rubbish.

Top REM Songs at the moment. Can't Get There From Here Losing My Religion Radio Free Europe Wolves, Lower Pilgrimage

Kotz IDRM Lord Of The Curry Agent Of Oblivion Ripper FrozenBlockOfPiss KKK Thumbtack

Source? I'm not saying anything till Meltzer confirms.

-Two epileptic fits -Gashed head -Ruptured testicle

Who the fuck cares about the Honky Tonk Man. You were a shit wrestler and Foley was a hundred times better than you, so try and do something better with your life than clutch to the past and dredging up imaginary feuds.

I'm glad I have your approval.