The Mandarin

I'd go with Summerslam, then the Iron Man, then Wrestlemania. I just loved their Summerslam match. Not trying to take anything away from Wrestlemania, though. All three of them are ****+, but I loved Summerslam the most.

I was at that event. Not too spectacular.

Weekend Stats Titles- World- Vacant Intercontinental- Vacant Tag Team- Vacant Womens- Vacant Television- Vacant Top Faces (EWR's picks, not mine) 1) The Rock 2) Steve Austin 3) Shawn Michaels 4) Chris Benoit 5) Rey Mysterio Top Heels (EWR's picks) 1) Chris Jericho 2) Ric Flair 3) Kurt Angle 4) Brock Lesnar 5) John Cena Maximum Carnage, the first ever 2K4 pay-per-view, will arrive in one week. Top merchandise seller is Shawn Michaels. See you next week with 2K4 Monday Night.

2K4 X Mortis vs Lance Storm. Mortis and Storm put on a ROCKETBUSTER here, folks. Okay, not really, but it was good. Storm countered a sleeper with a jawbreaker and followed up with a legdrop, but it wasn't enough as Mortis won with a spinebuster and the Kanyon Cutt--er, the Rigor Mortis to pick up the victory. Winner: Mortis A video package of Paul London is shown, highlighting his performances in ROH. He's coming up next, folks. Commercial. Paul London vs Little Guido. Paul London and Guido put on a great indy style match here. Scary moment when Guido took a top rope Frankensteiner and landed on his neck. He was okay, though, and the match continued. London then hit a nice Misawa-style Tiger Suplex, and won in the end with the London Calling. Winner: Paul London London headed into the crowd and celebrated his victory with fans. He no-sold several high-fives though. Stevie Richards is backstage with Disco Inferno. He insulted Tajiri and Ultimo Dragon, saying they can never make it in this business without his guidance. Stevie said he was now taking in clients, and two spots were reserved just for them. He then noticed the duo standing beside him, breathing into his neck. Tajiri said that they don't need his crap. They'll see him out in the ring. Their match is comin' up shortly, folks! Funaki vs Billy Kidman. Funaki and Kidman dished out some cruiser action here. Kidman got in a nice dropkick and some hard forearrm shots and was about to go for the SSP..when Funaki rolled him up for the 3! Wow! Winner: Funaki Funaki runs out and celebrates! 2K4's Numbah One Announcer has done it! Kidman has a hissy fit in the ring, ripping the turnbuckles off and rolling around on the mat. Commercial. Ken Shamrock/Jeff Jarrett is up next, folks. Ken Shamrock vs Jeff Jarrett. Jeff Jarrett comes out to the ring with his guitar. Jeff asks if the audience wants to hear a song. Everyone boos. Jeff says that's right, because his masterpieces don't deserve to reach your pig-like ears. He's the Chosen One, damnit, and he's gonna do whatever he pleases. Jarrett gets some pretty big heat. Shamrock comes out to a decent pop. The match is pretty good. Jeff gets a nice running knee lift in, which gets a two count. The match is mostly brawling. Shamrock gets in some suplexes and a gutbuster. In the end, though, Jarrett decides to play us a song. The ref says that this isn't the time for singing, and rips it out of his hands..when Shamrock comes running. Jarrett hooks him, and drops the Stroke. Shamrock's head smashes through the guitar. Ref can't do much about it, he was holding the guitar. 1..2..3. Winner: Jeff Jarrett Jeff yells at Shamrock "That was a priceless guitar!". Jarrett then smirks at the sight of Shamrock's bloody face. Ouch. Commercial. Another strange promo is aired. It's basically the same as the E! True Hollywood Story one on Friday, but this time at the end, it reveals a bit more.."Leonardo Spanky- coming soon to 2K4". It's the first installment of "Recap in 120 Seconds". The week's events are recapped in two short minutes. From Randy Orton to Austin, from Edge and Cena to The Rock and Brock Lesnar, and AJ Styles and Michaels, everything is shown, in case you missed it. You better not have. Tajiri and Ultimo Dragon vs Stevie Richards and Disco Inferno. Match Background: This is the first ever 2K4 Tag Team matchup! Wow! Oh, man, was this match crazy. Basically, Ultimo is dominated the whole match. Ultimo and Disco start off, with Ultimo getting in nice moves such as dropkicks to the knee and many, many leg drops. Disco eventually gets the tag to Stevie and Ultimo starts to get tired. He hits a Diamond Dust but that's about it as Stevie pulverizes him with spears and piledrivers. Ultimo needs to get the tag..but is prevented. Disco comes in and pounds him some more. Ultimo's channelling his best Ricky Morton here. The crowd is hot for Ultimo, as Stevie gets tagged in. More beating..and Ultimo gets a standing leg lariat out of nowhere! Come on Ultimo! Make the tag to Tajiri! Ultimo is inching closer..and closer..and..he's got the tag! Tajiri is in and he's a HOUSE EN FUE..wait a minute, Tajiri just blasted Ultimo in the head! What the hell? The crowd boos as Tajiri has turned on his partner. Stevie smiles and hits the Superkick as Tajiri has just betrayed his good friend! Winners: Stevie and Disco Ultimo is thrown into the ropes..and locked in the Tarantula. Ultimo has passed out, and Tajiri hugs his new manager, Steven Richard. That bastard. The trio pose in the ring. Commercial. Highlights of what just happened. CM Punk, Chris Nowinski and Molly Holly, now known as Straight Edge, are backstage. CM's gonna be facing Raven next, and they need to devise a plan. Chris says no worry, he's already got one. CM asks him to get it. Nowinski pulls out a pink Hello Kitty notepad out of his pocket. Punk asks him what the hell that is. He says it's his strategy guide. He shows the duo a plan that he created earlier. CM looks satisfied, but Molly looks pretty curious. Nowinski has a huge grin on his face. Even though the 2 Minute highlight has passed, we're taken back to this past week, and shown the incident(s) between Christopher Daniels and Rob Van Dam. Wow. CM Punk vs Raven. Good match with a bit of emotion here, as Punk and Raven have a bit of history. Punk gets a huge back body drop which gets a two. Raven gets a spinebuster, which gets 2 and 7/8. That was pretty close. Punk misses a leg drop after stalling too long. Nowinski can't wait any longer, and he points at his watch to Molly. Molly looks a bit upset, but nods and climbs up on the ring apron. Molly yells at the ref. Ref turns around, and Molly pulls up a bit of her skirt to reveal part of her thigh. Ref is confused but continues to ask Molly to leave. Nowinski is loving this, though, as he's in heaven after seeing just a little bit of Molly's skin. Nowinski just stands there in a trance, not knowing that this is the point he's supposed to run in and attack Raven. CM yells at him and he snaps out of it, but still staring at Molly. Chris doesn't even notice as Raven tosses him over the top rope. Ref turns around and Raven hits the Evenflow. One, two, three. Winner: Raven Molly looks frustrated, but Nowinski hops back in with a chair. BAM. He must have majored in chair shots, as he blasts Raven right on the head with the steel chair. Raven is out cold. CM gets up and starts kicking away. Straight Edge have dominated Raven, and they stand in a group pose. Nowinski finally gets a hug from Molly although she doesn't really lean into him, and Nowinski is just loving this. Commercial. Steve Austin is backstage. He threatens Jericho, telling him that he better watch his back, because the rattlesnake is ready to strike at any moment. And THAT's the bottom line, because STONE COLD, not Chris Jericho, said so. Briscoe Boys are in the back. Make or break time. Team Angle vs Briscoe Boys. It's a big match for the two newcomers. Jay and Mark try to get in as much moves as possible, but it's no use, since Team Angle dominate the youngsters after Haas locks Jay in the Haas of Pain. Team Angle celebrate, and dedicate the match to- who else?- Kurt Angle. Winners: Team Angle Show over. Man, I love writing for Straight Edge. Nowinski's a hopeless goofball while Punk plays the straight man. They're the new Odd Couple, I decree.

It's over.

2K4 X Preview- This is the first week of 2K4: Wrestling programming, and it's already gotten off to a great start. This Friday, 2K4 brodcasts the debut of it's third and final show, X. Like 2K4 Monday Night and 2K4 Live! before it, this show will break new grounds in wrestling territory. Join us as some of our hottest young prospects make their debuts. Lance Storm, Mortis, Paul London, and more will all be in action, plus some of the best highlights of what's gone down earlier in the week. Plus, CM Punk will face his old enemy, RAVEN in a one on one bout, while Ken Shamrock will take on Jeff Jarrett. It all goes down tonight, only on GCWTV.

I can tell you one place you're not gonna see them get married: Wrestling- 2K4. ..unless..

Sometime later today. It's a Velocity type show, except longer. So basically, it's a few recaps of what happened earlier in the week with some pretty good matches. I'll post a preview later.

How did Nowinski get injured anyways? I'm pretty sure it had something to do with the classroom brawl he and Dreamer had, but I'm not sure. Can someone tell me? And yes, I'd be forever sad if he had to retire.

Damn, you stole my post. They aired the Shining a few weeks ago, and they only had to wait until 9 to uncensor it. Same with Fight Club. Damn, they always have great movies. Tomorrow, Breakfast Club at 4 pm. Awesome.

You think that's bad, I was already asleep.

I decided to take them out. I was just planning on using Dames' ratings for the first episode. Besides, he was totally harsh on Orton/Shark Boy.

2K4: Live! 2K4 Live is on the air. The video package now includes clips of some of the top wrestlers. It ends with Cyrus' face. The pyro explodes--and the Rock's music hits. His pop is bigger than the pyro itself. Anyways, he gets in the ring and on the stick. Rock brings up his match with Austin last week. He says that Austin and Jericho deserve to get an ass-whooping..but first, Rock has other business to tend to. He brings up Brock Lesnar. Brock Lesnar wrote the number two on his door. Rock says that either Brock was learning his numbers, or he was signifying to Uncle Cyrus that his diaper needed changing. More insults to Brock (and his preschooler mentality). Rock pauses, thinking Brock will come out. Rock pauses some more. Rock is getting pissed now. And, the music hits. ..and it's Rhino. Rhino comes out, telling Rock he's not here to trade insults, Rhino is here to fight. Rhino's good friend Cyrus has let him pick an opponent for tonight, and he chooses The Rock. Rock agrees..but he doesn't know who in the blue hell he is. Rhino tries to bring up ECW, and a couple of matches he's had against him. ..nothing. Rock still doesn't know who the hell he is. Rhino says that he'll just have to show him. Rhino comes down to the ring, and they're ready to duke it out. Punches a flyin'. Rock connects more, whip into the rope, right hand. Rock in Rock Bottom position, waiting in the position and..reversed. Pushes him off, Rock turns around, GORE! GORE! GORE IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN THE POINT ALREADY! Gore! And this match is gonna be a doozy, folks. Commercial. Randy Orton comes to the ring with Trinity. Same scenario as Monday. Randy offers 10 grand to whomever leaves a mark on his beautiful body. And the challenge is accepted by.. Shark Boy vs. Randy Orton Back and forth action. Orton hits a nice Death Valley Driver and hits a fallaway slam. He's channelling almighty hoss here, folks. Shark Boy gets a nice Frankensteiner in at one point. But, in the end, Randy gets it with a spear and the RKO. Winner: Randy Orton After the match, Randy looks like he's gonna lay into Sharky..but Hurricane comes down once again to make the save. No contact, Hurricane just helps Shark Boy up and escorts him to the locker. Randy laughs at Hurricane. Rob Van Dam was backstage, pacing back and forth. Coach asked him what was the dillio. Van Dam said he was waiting for that gold son of a bitch, and once he got here, he was gonna get some revenge. Pre-taped segment with John Cena. John Cena's wearing a Montreal Habs hockey jersey. That's gotta offend Edge. And that's his goal. Cena lays into Edge for popping him one on Monday. Cena said that next week, Cena was going to give him a lesson in Thugonomics. Word life. Commercial. Molly Holly was backstage with Nowinski and CM Punk. Molly asked Cyrus why she wasn't part of the Women's Title match scheduled next. Cyrus said he had no time for petty women and shut her out of his office. Molly looked like she was about to cry, and started complaining that the title should be hers. Nowinski started rubbing her back and told her that he was gonna make it all better. Molly was happy about this, and hugged him. She walked away, and Nowinski started celebrating. He was estatic that he got a hug from Molly. He said he was one step closer to busting her hy-- Punk interrupted. CM asked Nowinski what he was gonna do about the title. Nowinski said that he'd have to think up a plan in the ol' Harvard brain. He ran off to plot. Punk groaned. Ric Flair is backstage with AJ Styles. Flair says that tonight, they were gonna send Michaels a message. While he watches at home on his black and blue ass, AJ was going to beat the living hell out of a newcomer. Flair tells the newbie to come in.. and it's Jay Briscoe from RoH. Huh, how about that. Flair tells Jay that he's gonna be losing to AJ tonight. Jay disagrees. Flair says he'll make sure of it. Mark then walks in the room, intimidating Flair. The Briscoes then walk out. E! True Hollywood Story logo is shown..er, what? What's all this about? Old pictures are shown of someone as a young child. Someone was narrating, saying before his success in the wrestling ring, he conquered the movie theatre. ..And that's all we get to, as the promo ends. But not before "Leonardo" is signed in cursive handwriting. Man, this is strange. Trish Stratus vs Jazz. Match Background: This match is for the 2K4 Womens title. First ever 2K4 title match. I'm so proud. High spots include Jazz hitting TWO PILEDRIVERS(!), and Trish hitting a nice jaw breaker. More action, until Trish gets the Stratusfaction! 1..2..Nowinski breaks up the count. DQ for Trish, oh my. Winner: Trish Stratus (by DQ, title still vacant) Nowinski hits the Double Underhook DDT (Harvard-sized) on Molly. Nowinski celebrates as Punk just looks on, bored. Nowinski then leans over for a kiss from Molly, not knowing she's still kicking away at Trish. CM gets up and slaps Chris right in the face. Nowinski gives the Punk the face you'd give your older brother if he just pissed in your socks. Anyways, Molly's done beating on Trish. The three celebrate, and raise arms. Nowinski starts sliding his hand down Molly's back..but Punk slaps it away. Nowinski gives him a sharp look, once again. Van Dam's still backstage..when he sees a gold reflection in a mirror! Van Dam jumps around and gets ready to strike..when he sees Booker T and Goldust. Booker politely asks what in the good Lord's name he was thinking. Actually, it was more like "'sup wit' you, sucka?!" Van Dam asks if they know anything about the stalker. They deny any involvement. RVD thanks them, and the two head off to the ring. Van Dam watches them go by.. just as Raven walks along, smiling. Booker T vs Eddie Guerrero. Eddie walks out with Chavo, Booker with Goldie Ray. Before the match, Eddie shows Chavo a blueprint of the cheating strategy that night. Good match, Booker plays to the crowd a lot. Tons of bodyslams, several DDTs. Legdrop to the back of the head makes Dames mark out. Anyway, Booker goes for the Book End, but he's pushed into the ref. Chavo knocks out Goldust on the outside, and passes Eddie a tire iron, and he tosses it to Booker. Ref takes the title off Booker and gets ready to dump it on the outside. Ref, being as wise as he is, knows the Guerrero's strategy, and watches as Chavo prepares to smash Booker with a crowbar. Ref escorts Chavo out of the ring, and the two argue. That's when Eddie kicks Booker in the balls, like, three times. Those Guerrero's, just getting lazier. Frog splash time. Yes. Cover. 1..2.. Winner: Eddie Guerrero After the match, Goldust runs in. Guerreros and Goldust brawl. Wait..Team Angle's here! It's a three team brawl (5 out of 6 isn't bad). Officials split it up. These teams really want the straps. Commercial. Kurt Angle is in the ring. He decrees that he will give some lucky participant to come down to the ring and display their technical wrestling skills. If they're lucky, they can get an autograph, he says. So who is it? ..it's American Dragon, folks. American Dragon vs Kurt Angle. Very nice match, both men at the top of their games. Angle hits a delayed brainbuster, so Dragon gives a Diamond Dust. Angle hits the lariat, so Dragon hits a back heel kick. This is just great. In the end, Angle hits a knee lift and locks in the Anklelock. ...and Dragon won't tap! Dragon won't ta--wait, he locks in the heel hook. He's got the man grapevined, folks. It's over. Winner: Kurt Angle Both men get a nice ovation. Dragon gets up and offers Angle a handshake..Angle naturally declines, that heel bastard. Angle walks off, leaving Dragon standing there. Angle is still the technical king, but I have a feeling he won't be for long. Commercial. AJ Styles vs Jay Briscoe. Match Background: Jay Briscoe is making his debut at this show. Both men out by themselves. Just your good action here. AJ reverses a hip toss and hits a rolling kick. Smart man. Springboard dropkicks for all! Jay gets in a nice superkick, but it's not enough, as AJ hits the Clash to win. Winner: AJ Styles After the match, AJ does a beatdown. He's sending a message to Michaels alright, and it's stamped urgent, bitch. Mark comes down to help, but Flair just rams him from behind. Flair is on the ramp, and points and smiles at AJ..and he's superkicked from behind! Michaels is here! Michaels is here! Markout city! AJ and Shawn have a staredown, as Shawn stands over Ric Flair's aching body. Commercial. Someone's sitting by the pool, it seems.. oh, boy. Y2J himself, Chris Jericho is taking in the sun at an undisclosed location. Jericho puts himself over for a while, until he threatens Austin. He says that he's gonna eclipse Austin's star soon. It's gonna be nighty-night for him. Y2J is the future, and he'll just have to deal with that. And that's the bottom line..because CHRIS JERICHO said so. Van Dam gets ready to leave. No sign of the attacker all night. He walks down the hallway, when he sees a shadow is following him. He turns around, and chases after this mysterious figure. They head right into a dark room, where tons of crashing and banging is heard. RVD drags this guy out into the hallway for some light..and it's Funaki. Funaki says he was just looking for an interview. RVD looks puzzled and pushes him away when a gloved hand drags him into the darkness. More crashing and banging. A light is switched on, and yes, folks, THIS is the golden assailant. He's holding a chair over Van Dam's bloody body. He slowly pulls off his mask..to reveal.. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, IF IT WASN'T ALREADY PAINFULLY OBVIOUS. The Curry Man kicks his limp body, smiles, and walks off. Commercial, last of the night. Replay of what just happened. Announcers are in shock. The fallen angel has arrived. The Rock vs Rhino. Decent match. It's all brawling here, so not much explanation. Anyway, nearing the end, Rock goes for a Rock Bottom. Didn't work the first time, buddy, not smart to try again. Reversal. Gore! Gore! Gore..into the ringpost. Rocky moved. Rhino turns..Rock Bottom. Cover, one, two, and three. Winner: The Rock Rock celebrates, but he seems to be waiting for something..and here comes Brock. Brock throws a punch or two, but Rock was prepared, and punts Brock as hard as he can, square in the noggin. Brock is thrown for a loop, and tumbles over the ropes, not before kicking Rock in the mouth on his way down. Brock lands on his feet, that sick freak. Rock and Brock have a stare down as Brock is just a little further than arm's reach from the inside of the ring and out..and Rock notices a drip of blood land on the map. He feels his lip, and it's there's a small cut. He looks back at the drop of blood..and Brock has already wiped it up on his finger. Rock, disgusted watches as this beast takes his finger, runs it across his lips, and licks the blood up. Rock looks like he's gonna barf. Brock has quenched his thirst..with the Rock's own blood. This is just plain scary. End show. Shit, rewriting it is a lot of work when you've got a busy schedule. I think I might have to shorten results next time. No matter though, it was still pretty good. So, your thoughts please.

Nonono, Wednesday on my game is when it's gonna show. In real life, I can do results at any time. I'm doing the results right now. And thanks for all the support.

And again, Tajiri takes my Wrestler of the Week, for the third time now. Japanese Mafia should be good. Cheap plug: Check the sig.

Tuesday Stats- Roster- Main Event- (faces) Shawn Michaels, The Rock, Steve Austin. (heels) AJ Styles, Brock Lesnar, Chris Jericho, Kurt Angle. Upper Midcarders- (faces) Booker T, Chris Benoit, Edge, Jerry Lynn, Ken Shamrock and Rob Van Dam. (tweeners) Raven and The Truth. (heels) Eddie Guerrero, Jeff Jarrett, John Cena, Tazz, William Regal and some nameless freak in a gold mask who attacked Rob Van Dam earlier this week. Midcarders- (faces) Al Snow, Amazing Red, American Dragon, Dan Severn, Goldust, The Hurricane, La Parka, Lita, Paul London, Rey Mysterio, Rico Constantino, Shark Boy, Sharmell Sullivan, Tajiri, Trish Stratus, Ultimo Dragon. (tweener) Billy Kidman, Tito Ortiz. (heels) Charlie Haas, Chavo Guerrero, Christian, Chris Nowinski, CM Punk, Frank Shamrock, Jazz, Johnathan Coachman, Juventud Guerrera, Matt Hardy V1.0, Molly Holly, Randy Orton, Rhino, Shelton Benjamin, Victoria. Lower midcarders- (faces) Brian Kendrick, Spanky, Funaki, Jamie Knoble, Lance Storm. (heels) Little Guido, Mortis. Managers- (faces) Alexis Laree. (heels) Cyrus the Virus, Disco Inferno, Ric Flair, Stevie Richards, Theodore Long, Trinity. Titles- All titles vacant right now. Stables- Team Angle (Angle, Haas, Benjamin) and Straight Edge (CM Punk, Christopher Nowinski, Molly Holly). Competitive Status- Our 2K4 Pro Wrestling did a 7.71 rating while WWE snuck in with a suprisingly high 6.01. WWE's Top Five Stars at the Moment- Vince McMahon, Undertaker, Stephanie McMahon, Triple H, Eric Bischoff. Wednesday- 2K4 Live! Preview Monday, 2K4: Wrestling made it's television debut, with the explosive 2K4 Monday Night. This Wednesday, the second program, 2K4 Live! arrives. It sounds like a slobberknocker folks. It should at least knock a little drool off ya'. Monday, Chris Jericho interrupted The Rock and Steve Austin during their big match. Will these three meet again, or will Brock get to The Rock first? Rock seems to be number "2" on his list. Tune in to find out. Also, who is the masked gold man? He sure likes his curry. And he sure is a man..but he damn well looks like a Conquistador. But he attacked RVD with a vengeance, and you're sure RVD's going to smoke his ass this Wednesday. AJ Styles has joined up with Ric Flair, and their first target is Shawn Michaels. Things are heating up folks. Plus, Kurt Angle DID call himself the best technical wrestler in the world. Will someone show up to correct him? (Editors note: Lou Thesz not confirmed to appear). Plus, appearances by Los Guerreros, Randy Orton and Trinity, John Cena and much much more. It all goes down this Wednesday, only on GCWTV!

That could be one of the greatest events to ever take place. Wrestling would be saved.

Haha, sucker. 2K4 is hoss-free and proud of it. Anyways, sounds nice. Does this mean 2001 is dead though?

Okay, imagine a (VERY UNLIKELY) scenario where WWE had crumbled after the Invasion, and it was just all downhill from there. Not just for WWE, but for wrestling entirely. NWA:TNA folded after a short while and everyone was looking for work. We'd have the same storylines that there are now (Evolution, Goldberg and whatnot) but a LOT less people would be watching. So say a new, upstart federation stole all the big talent and dominated the pro wrestling industry. That ladies and gentlemen, is 2K4. ..And Austin's not a cripple anymore. Er, yeah. Monday Night 2K4- Episode 1 Cyrus the Virus enters the ring. He congratulates himself, calling this promotion his "baby". After WWE went downhill, he scooped all the wrestlers up. Now, Vince's federation is nothing more than a bunch of cripples. He then puts the federation over, telling us what to expect. He then goes on to announce that at the first pay per view, Maximum Chaos, the 2K4 Heavyweight Title will be on the line in the main event. Participants to be decided shortly. But we don't have to wait long for a big match, 'cuz tonight, baby, Austin vs. Rock, ONE ON ONE! End promo. -74% Commercial break. Backstage, Chris Jericho is looking pretty angry. He thinks that he should be part of the first ever main event. Maybe he'll get his way.. Cyrus is the new timekeeper at ringside, smiling devilishly. Edge vs Christian. Former tag team partners duked it out in this one. High spots include Christian hitting a nice Northern Lights Bomb, and Edge hitting a spear, but Christian kicking out at 2 and 7/8's. After a clothesline reversal, Edge was able to hit the Edgeocutioner for the 3 count. **1/4, sez Dames. Winner: Edge After the match, John Cena came to ringside, bustin' out a rap. He said that they were just wastin' Cena's airtime, yada yada. But when he rhymed "brothers" with "anal lovers", Edge had had enough. When Cena went to do his facewash taunt, Edge popped him one right in the kisser. Cena was left on the mat holding his chin. Commercial break. CM Punk, Christopher Nowinski and Molly Holly are backstage. Punk and Nowinski are discussing plans for the tag team gold. Molly is focusing on the Women's. They're up to something. Rob Van Dam vs Matt Hardy Version 1.0. Rob Van Dam and Matt put on a pretty good spotfest here. Top rope DDT popped the crowd huge, as did a piledriver reversed into a big backdrop. Van Dam wins with the Five Star Frog Splash. The match was good at **3/4. Winner: RVD Waitaminute, the lights went out. Damn. Luckily, RVD had a glowstick in his boot (haw), and flares it up. The lights come back on soon, and standing infront of RVD is..a man in a gold suit wearing a gold mask. Huh. Van Dam totally thinks he's trippin'. This masked individual then kicked RVD in the face and went for the Spicy Drop! Van Dam was left layin'. Unfortunately, the announcers don't know much about puro, so he was just billed as a "gold wacko". Sigh. We'll have more on this story as it develops. There's much speculation as to who he might be. Commercial break. Shawn Michaels was backstage, getting ready for his match with Jeff Jarrett when Ric Flair barged in the room. Flair was screaming at him, telling him that the locker room isn't big enough for the two of them. Flair kept screaming about "his boy" until security dragged him off. Michaels ignored this, thinking Flair must have missed his pills today. Randy Orton came to the ring, with manager/girlfriend/maid Trinity. Randy put himself over, and stated, if anyone can leave a SINGLE blemish (bruise, cut, whatnot) on his oh-so perfect body, he'll give them $10,000 big ones. Just then, La Parka's music hit! He came out to the ring, chair and all. La Parka vs. Randy Orton Back and forth action here. Seems like Parka is executing a lot of Davey Boy Smith moves in this match. Why he's doing that, I don't know. Parka hit a nasty mule kick at one point, thinking he was Goldberg. That could leave a mark. Orton hit a nice spinebuster, and then taunted the crowd. But while his back was turned, Parka went for a roll-up, but Orton reversed it into one of his own and got the tights. 3 count. Winner: Randy Orton Orton celebrated, but then started kicking at Parka. Hurricane came down to make the save for his buddy. Hurricane and Orton had a stare down. *1/4 rating, because Parka was quite sloppy at points. Ric Flair was backstage, being interviewed. Flair cursed out Michael's name, and said that his whole life has been a farce. Born again christian, my ass. Flair then said there was no Kliq to save him here (worked shoot time, folks), and that his "boy" was gonna get rid of Michaels once and for all. Woo! ..That nutcase.- 95% Commercial. Booker T seems to be waiting for someone. Just then, Goldust walks into the arena. The two hug, their first meeting in several months. They then discuss tag team plans. For some reason, Raven is watching in the background. Kurt Angle is backstage conducting an interview with Team Angle (Charlie Haas, Shelton Benjamin). Everytime Angle would say something, Team Angle would agree. Kurt's become Pavlov. But when Kurt said that he was the BEST DAMN TECHNICAL WRESTLER THERE IS TODAY (uh oh), Team Angle was sort of unsure. After some encouragement, they agree. Angle heads off to fight Shamrock. - 83% Ken Shamrock vs Kurt Angle. Angle and Shamrock duked it out in this one. Spots include big scoop slam, several German and Belly to Belly suplexes, and both men locking in the Ankle Lock. But Angle came out on top, getting Shamrock to be the one tapping out. -**3/4. Winner: Angle Angle celebrated like crazy. Team Angle lifted him up on their shoulders, and paraded out of the arena. Commercial. Brock was shown backstage. Man, he's pissed. Brock Lesnar vs Jerry Lynn. Nice piledriver on Lynn. Wow, I thought they were banned. Brock mostly dominates, Lynn gets in some offense though, like a nice spinnning bulldog. But Brock came out victorious with the F-5. ** Winner: Brock Lesnar After the match, Brock comes back in with a chair, and absolutely destroys Lynn's face with it. He smears the blood onto his chest, where he makes a symbol that resembles "1". Brock seems to be taking a body count here. Commercial. Shawn heads out to the ring, not really phased about Flair's threats. Shawn Michaels vs Jeff Jarrett. Good match, some nice action. Big lariat by Jarrett at one point. I mean, wow. Anyways, HBK hit a nice spin kick that launched Jarrett across the ring. He then hit his nice elbow drop from the top..but nada. Jarrett went for the Stroke, but Michaels got out and hit the Superkick. Cover, it's over. **1/2 Winner: Shawn Michaels But wait, it's not over. Flair runs to the ring and tries to attack him, but no sir. Michaels lays some punches into him when AJ Styles shows up! Styles Clash on Michaels! Damn that AJ! Damn him to hell! Styles and Flair celebrate. Styles is Flair's new managerial client. Chris Jericho is backstage. He starts talking trash about Steve Austin, thinking Cyrus likes him more. Austin shows up beside him. "What?" Silence. "That's what I thought." Jericho looks smug as Austin walks away. - 98% Commercial. Brock is still walking through the hallway, the blood on his hand not dried yet. Brock then makes a "2" symbol on someone's locker room door, and then walks away. The door then swings open..to reveal The Rock. Rock doesn't notice the mark left on his door and heads out to battle Stone Cold. The Rock vs Steve Austin. The Rock and Austin had a nice main event here. Rock hit the spinebuster and almost the People's Elbow, but no dice. Suplexes and powerbombs a plenty. Austin even got in the Million Dollar Dream In the end, Austin went for the Stunner but it was reversed into the Rock Bottom! Here it comes! ..and Jericho runs into the ring and knocks them down. *** Winner: No contest Jericho picks the tired and groggy Austin up and hits the Breakdown! Austin covers his head. Jericho gloats but turns around right into the Rock Bottom! Rock tries to pull Austin up but no, Rock gets a stunner! Austin celebrates and calls for beer. Cyrus looks pleased with himself, as 2K4 has gotten off to a chaotic start. Overall, 76%

Yep. I used to think they did four counts once in a while.

That sounds really good. I wish Rock was actually available for Survivor Series, but he probably isn't. So I guess we're stuck with Goldberg/HHH. Blah.

Yeah, I'd say so.

Damn. Well, that sucks.

Jesus. Yet Carrot Top is still in perfectly good health. Who's idea of justice is this?

I remember one time in WCW, I think Benoit and Malenko were wrestling, and Benoit missed some punches by a mile. Immediately, they pretended they had camera problems or something... I can't remember much. Anyone know?