The Mandarin

It was better when Jackie Chan did it.

Eddie Guerrero The Road Warriors Jake Roberts Ricky Steamboat Ted Dibiase Jim Duggan Paul Heyman

Another heartbreaker:

Wrestler of the Year Samoa Joe. Even though I think Eddie Guerrero was a bigger asset to WWE than Joe was to ROH this year (unlike 2004), Joe's body of work was better than Guerrero's. Eddie was the MVP, but Samoa Joe is wrestler of the year. Feud of the Year CM Punk vs. Jimmy Rave Match of the Year Samoa Joe vs. Kenta Kobashi, although I have yet to see Gibson vs. Dragon or Strong. Samoa Joe and Lethal vs. Homicide and Ki was also very, very good. Best Brawler Homicide, an absolutely fantastic brawler. JBL is the best WWE brawler, but even he can't compare to the sheer viciousness of Homicide. Best High Flier Jack Evans followed by Paul London and Jimmy Jacobs. Best Tag Team Jack Evans and Roderick Strong, but I enjoy all ROH tag teams. MNM wasn't close. Most Underrated Homicide, I thought he was really strong this year. I really liked the Danielson vs. Homicide feud from what I saw. Most Overrated Carlito tops AJ Styles and Rey Mysterio. Best Promos Eddie Guerrero, easily. CM Punk was pretty good too. Best PPV WrestleMania 21. Worst PPV Great American Bash. Disgusting Promotional Tactic Making fans go to Philadelphia to see Kobashi's last US match

Wrestler of the year is Eddie Guerrero, who single-handedly carried the very awful SmackDown after John Cena left. He did some superb (over)acting against the bland Rey Mysterio. His storyline with Batista was also very humorous. Eddie just did good work all year. You could also argue that about Kurt Angle, but he didn't carry a program in the way Eddie did. Feud of the year is Orton and Undertaker, who have put on two or three very good matches with an okay storyline and some cool visuals. Match of the year is Angle vs. Michaels from WrestleMania. Best brawler would be JBL. That's pretty much all he can do, but he does it well. He threw some great-looking worked punches against the Blue Meanie at ONS. Best high flier is Paul London. He did shit on Velocity that I'm shocked didn't get him fired (i.e. landing on the top of his head once every match; wrestling an athletic contest). Thankfully nobody watches that show. He's one of my runners up for wrestler of the year, just because he didn't fully work in WWE style for a long time. Best tag team is MNM. Absolutely useless by themselves, they put on a few enjoyable tag matches. Most underrated is John Cena, who had a string of good matches from May to late August, when he was at his peak. He's not entirely worthless. Most overrated is Carlito. While everyone, including me, realizes that he is absolutely worthless in the ring, his promos are what are overrated. They are unintelligible and lousy. Carlito is the worst wrestler of the year. Rey Mysterio was also very overrated this year, I thought Guerrero carried their feud. He also wasn't on his A-game for their WrestleMania or Summerslam matches, the ones that mattered. Plus, he let his frigging kid take part in a storyline (which doesn't mean anything, but hey). Rey Mysterio is the second most overrated wrestler of the year, in my opinion. Best promos is Eddie Guerrero, easily. They are why he was the WWE's MVP for the summer. Best PPV is WrestleMania 21 for Orton/Undertaker and Michaels/ECW: ONS was a half-decent attempt but it didn't overly remind me of the company. Worst PPV was Great American Bash. Absolutely horrendous in every way. Most disgusting promotional tactic is letting the fans vote for Taboo Tuesday.

The screen went dark and then you could hear a loud slap and Gerald Brisco screaming.

You are the worst case scenario.

A1 Abyss AJ Styles (although I'm kind of on the fence-- not a huge fan) Alex Shelley The Alpha Male Monty Brown Andy Douglas Apolo Austin Aries BG James Bobby Roode Cassidy Riley Chase Stevens Chris Harris Chris Sabin Christian Cage David Young Eric Young Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels Gail Kim Jackie Gayda James Mitchell James Storm Jeff Hardy Jeff Jarrett Jerelle Clark Jerry Lynn Johnny Devine Kevin Nash Kip James Konnan Lance Hoyt Matt Bentley Petey Williams Prime Time Elix Skipper Raven Rhino Roderick Strong Ron Killings Sabu Samoa Joe Sean Waltman Shark Boy Shocker Simon Diamond Sonjay Dutt Sonny Siaki Team 3D Traci Brooks Those in bold, I would keep. Italics, I'm on the fence. No code, no way. Yeah, my wrestling company would fail, but at least I wouldn't have people under contract that I'm personally biased against. For the most part, I really dislike the roster of TNA.

6'1, I think. 190. I was 140 a year ago. I have gained the weight Franchise has lost.

Average show, not worth the high price. I've got to stop buying WWE Pay-Per-Views. I keep saying that month after month (and I didn't even buy Taboo Tuesday, praise Jesus). Before the show, I watched some of the Bret Hart DVD that I purchased earlier. I saw vs. Owen on Action Zone, vs. Undertaker at ONO and vs. Perfect (incredible, incredible match) at Summerslam 1991. That pretty much ruined me for the rest of the evening, nothing could even possibly compare. Benoit vs. Booker T- I can't say I paid attention to most of this due to pre-existing apathy for any Booker vs. Benoit match. What I saw was bland. Finish was done alright, it wasn't botched. * or something. Melina vs. Trish- Alright work here, best women's match in 2005 that wasn't all about titty (Christy vs. Stacy is my WWE women's MOTY). Nothing terribly offensive although the finisher wasn't great. *1/2 Flair vs. Triple H- That went pretty long but wasn't offensive. Some cool spots. Don't remember much of it. Why Flair got up after three Pedigrees is beyond me though. ***1/2, MOTN. Angle vs. Cena- Just a clusterfuck with some alright work around it. Angle has had better matches this month. I'm tired of this kind of match in 2005. Worst Cena/ Angle encounter ever. *1/4 Bischoff vs. Long- Absolutely terrible in every way. Biggest waste-of-time PPV match since the Stevie vs. Tomko match. Boogeyman's interference was really, really bad. It took forever and didn't look good. Which is sad, because I love everything Boogeyman's done so far. -** Raw vs. SmackDown- I was just so bored with all of this until the nifty finish. Rey took a few nice looking bumps. Commentary was abysmal, absolutely abysmal. Five guys is high even by WCW standards. A complete was Undertaker's return post-match was alright. **1/2 I'm feeling pretty sick right now (no, not due to the show) so maybe when I re-watch it I won't be as hard on it. However, I'm disappointed they did nothing to build up to WrestleMania or even the Rumble. I'm still anticipating Orton/Taker in the HIAC though, although I don't know if I want to drop $$$ on it.

Bret Hart. Ruined his legacy (well, almost) and ended his career. Luckily he got paid well and didn't have to do much, though. I'm reading Death of WCW right now though, and for every page I read I'll add another person to this list.

I'll agree there. Orton certainly didn't do a good job of playing a dink.

I just heard "In an Aeroplane Over the Sea" by Neutral Milk Hotel and was repulsed. I assume it's a "acquired taste".

Uh, no. It didn't really say I had to.

According to the game, I've done all of the easy challenges except "throw 10 superstars out of the Royal Rumble" and I have yet to win the Tough Enough award by winning 10 (exhibition?) matches with created superstars. Except I did throw 10 guys out of the Rumble with Andre and I've won 10 CAW matches. Why are they screwing with me? Do they both need to be accomplished in season mode? Help, please.

Undertaker vs. Orton Pt. I, II, III were quite good. IV, not so good. However, I have high expectations for the next one. It has to be better than HHH vs. Batista. I must say, I did enjoy the feud, as silly as it was at times. Hopefully this is the blowoff.

This can apply to novels, comics, magazines, required reading for university, warnings on your medication, etc. I have so many books just laying around, it's incredible. I'll get to them at some point. High Fidelity (just got that today, however) Black Hawk Down The Long Walk Helter Skelter Silence of the Lambs Jarhead The Death of WCW (although I am reading that now) I also have other books collecting dust that I never really finished, including Wiseguy and Fahrenheit 451. I've got to stop impulsively buying books like this only to not read them. Obviously, I've purchased a bunch of books based on films that I enjoyed since I'm not on the upswing of what the popular reading material is these days. Last novel I read was 1984, which was tremendous. So what aren't you reading?

Here's my ramshackle job:

"He's telling me he has a gun but can't show it to me." Not one of the best episodes, but some stuff was very funny. The Jim/Pam relationship is still cute. Kevin is such a creepy bastard. I don't want to know what he had on his computer.

Batista sold those ropes. Good on him.

Lawler just screwed up his big joke. He has no worth anymore. Terrorists?

At least Snitsky has a great deal of acne to fall back onto.

I stuck Regal against JBL and Regal stunk up the feud to the point that JBL's popularity went down by about 10. Damn you, Willy, I trusted you. I'm playing as SmackDown on GM Mode and beating my friend by a wide range. We're in June now. I hired Bret Hart, British Bulldog and Steve Austin and of course they all lose their first matches (to Chris Benoit, William Regal and Ric Flair respectably). Who amongst you is like me and skips just about every single match? I prefer playing matches in season mode or exhibition. GM isn't the place.

I'm winning, bro. At 6'1, I went from 220 to 140 to my current 190 (approximates) in less than two years. Kind of sad. It was mainly due to exercise and lack of exercise during select periods. I'm starting to do more exercise now and will probably drop weight again. So I'm starting to think my death will sound like a tire blowing out and then I'll fall down some stairs.

My top five: The Simpsons, something Larry David has done because it has to be funny, a pretentious british comedy (you choose), LOST, and My Name is Earl. I am the winner.