Hoff

COLE Welcome back fans! Michael Cole alongside Caboose and The Coach, gearing up for what is going to be a first time ever matchup here on HeldDOWN~! CABOOSE The battle lines were drawn two weeks ago, when the Global Party Exchange returned from hiatus with a new outlook on life in the OAOAST. These two kids feel jaded by Zack Malibu and the rest of us Originals, and sought to take matters into their own hands. COLE Indeed they did, and of course we saw last week that it's tough to have the Originals on the same page, especially with the bad blood that continues to run between Zack Malibu, Some Guy and The Original Elite. CABOOSE Malibu made a good point in that segment earlier. The GPX cannot be allowed to think they'll get away with this, because it's going to feed the egos of other youngsters trying to make a quick name for themselves. This place is already a warzone, but with their skewed view on things, it could get a LOT worse. Don't you think, Coach? COACH YO~! COLE Well, what more needs to be said after that? "In a world full of posers, phonies, and pure wannabe's..." BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CABOOSE And what more needs to be said after that! Listen to the fans! The song that once had the crowd rising to their feet now has them rising their middle fingers instead, as "Make Her Say" by O-Town brings Johnny Jax, The Artist Also Known as Johnny "Jam" Jackson to the ring, along with his GPX partner, Scotty Static. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Coming down the aisle at this time, accompanied by Scotty Static, hailing from "The 313" and weighing in at 215 lbs., this is JOHNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYY JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXXX! COLE I see Johnny Jackson has a new nickname to go along with the GPX's new outlook on things. COACH I dig it. I should change my name to J. Coach! CABOOSE We already have Josh "J. Math" Matthews. COACH Hmph. JC? COLE Like the guy from NSYNC? COACH Dammit, uh... CUE: "Getting Away With Murder" by Papa Roach. CABOOSE Hold your thoughts, Coach, heeeere we go! As Static and Jackson hang around posing in the ring, Zack Malibu, the former two time World Champion, darts down the aisleway, his tag team partner Some Guy powerwalking just behind him. Malibu slides in under the bottom rope and immediately takes Jax to the mat with a double leg takedown, hammering on the youngster to the delight of the crowd! COLE Look at Michael Buffer run out of there! He didn't even get to introduce Zack! Malibu pulls Jax up to his feet, striking him across the chest with a pair of knife edge chops, then whips him to the ropes...only to have the momentum reversed! Zack hits the ropes, and Jackson leaps up with a dropkick...but Zack hangs onto the ropes, stopping himself from walking into Jackson's attempt! Johnny falls on his back, but quickly gets up, until he's knocked over by the running kneelift from Zack! Jackson staggers to his feet by the ropes and Malibu charges, swinging his arm straight out and cracking Johnny across the chest with a lariat that sends him up and over, landing on the ringside floor! CABOOSE Fast and furious start to this one! COACH Hey, remember that night when Paul Walker and Tyrese were here? That was hot shit. Static quickly runs over to Jackson and helps him up, yelling in the ring at both Zack and referee Earl Hebner for what's gone down in the opening minutes. Static says "we don't need this shit" and starts to walk away with his partner...until Some Guy rounds the corner and blocks them, forcing them to backstep...right into a pescado from Zack Malibu that takes them both out! Malibu returns Jackson to the ring, sending him in under the bottom rope, then follows. He pulls Jackson up, but Johnny thumbs him in the eye, then takes him by the arm and sends him into the corner. With Zack stunned, Johnny charges in, but Malibu sidesteps at the last second...and Johnny leaps up onto the middle rope and dives off, rotating his body in mid-air and driving both feet into Zack's chest with a dropkick! Johnny grabs Zack and stuns him with a jawbreaker, then scoops him up...but Malibu slides over Johnny's shoulder and grabs a rear waistlock, only to have Jackson elbow out of it and hit the ropes...and run right into a hiptoss that sends him across the ring! Malibu charges Jackson, but Johnny ducks at the last second and elevates Zack up and over...but Zack lands on the apron! Johnny comes for him and Zack pushes him back by clocking him with a right hand, but when Zack prepares to springboard back in, Static jumps up and pulls him down by the ankle! COLE Already Static's trying to get involved! Get him away from ringside! Malibu kicks Static away, but when he turns around he's met with an elbow to the mouth, then suplexed back into the ring by Jax, who was bought time by his partner. Johnny then goes to hit the ropes, but when he does, Some Guy reaches in and pulls on his ankle, causing Johnny to fall flat on his face! COACH HA! Eye for an eye. Jackson gets up complaining, and Hebner comes over to scold Some Guy, which allows Static the chance to sneak into the ring behind Zack's back and catch him with a running neckbreaker, snapping him down to the canvas! Johnny then hits the ropes and follows up with a legdrop across Zack's throat, and covers "The Franchise" for the pin! ONE! T-KICKOUT! Unaffected by the quick kickout, Jax brings Zack up, hammering him across the shoulder blades and then whipping him to the ropes, where he catches him on the rebound with a huracrana...THAT ZACK ROLLS THROUGH INTO A PIN! ONE! T-NO! Jackson rolls through and pulls Zack up, holding him in a front facelock...then drops him across the ropes, driving the wind out of him before pulling him off of their and driving him into the canvas with a Falcon Arrow! Jackson then stands by the ropes and leaps onto the middle one, springboarding backwards and dropping an elbow into Zack's chest! Malibu rolls around clutching at his chest, hurting from the velocity of the blow, leaving him available for Jax to pick up and ram a knee into his stomach, then whip him into the corner where he crashes chest first! Jax paces himself, waiting as Zack stumbles backwards, then hooks under his arm, trying for the BEAT DROP in the early going...but Malibu slides out over his shoulder once again, and this time uses a schoolboy rollup as his choice of offense! ONE! TW-NO! Jax rolls through and pops up to his feet, striking Zack back down with a lariat once the two are face to face. Johnny then gets up and starts stomping on Malibu, working him over while he's down, before bringing him to his feet and backing him into the corner. Jax continues with his offense, kicking Zack repeatedly in the stomach and kicking him down, but Malibu clutches Jackson's ankle, holding the leg and forcing himself out of the corner while Johnny is hopping on one leg! Jackson leaps up, looking to counter with an enzugiri, but Malibu sees it coming and ducks the attempt, then runs the ropes and drives the head of his opponent into the mat with a bulldog! COLE Some great counter-wrestling from both these men, but you've gotta remember that Jackson has that "x" factor of Scotty Static working in his favor. CABOOSE Some Guy can handle him if it comes down to it, I'm sure. Speaking of which, the cameras get a close up shot of the former member of the aWo as he watches on, also keeping an eye on Scotty Static who acts as a cheerleader for his partner on the other side of the ring. Malibu brings Jax up and rocks him with a European uppercut, then sends him to the ropes. When Jax bounces back, Zack tries to bring him down with a quick clothesline, but Jax ducks underneath it, jumps up, and brings Zack down with a crucifix pin! ONE! TWO! Zack quickly rolls out of it and jumps back to his feet. He tries to run forward, but finds his ankle solidly gripped by Scotty Static standing outside. COLE And here we go. Static interfering for Jackson yet again! With Zack momentarily pinned against the side of the ring, Jax runs forward to try to take advantage. But Malibu, thinking quickly, ducks his head down and catches Jax -- -- giving him a BIIIIIG back-body drop over the top rope -- -- and sending him crashing into Static standing on the floor below~! "YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" The fans cheer loudly as Scotty buckles under Jax's weight, sending the two of them down! COLE And it looks like GPX went to the well one too many times! COACH ....what well? COLE You know....THE well. COACH I don't get it. Who even uses wells anymore? COLE No, no. I mean a metaphorical well. Not a literal well. They went to the metaphorical well one too many times. If they went to a literal well, why....that wouldn't make much sense at all. COACH Agreed. CABOOSE Well, this piece of commentary was unnecessary. With both Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static out for the time being, Zack rolls out of the ring to keep on the offensive. He pulls Jax back up to his feet, grabs him by the back of his head, and runs forward -- sending him face-first into the steel ringpost! COACH YO~! The fans roar as Johnny hits the ringpost full-force and rolls down to the floor. The referee, unbelievably outraged at this shocking turn of events, starts screaming for the two men to take it in the ring. When he realizes that his yells aren't enough to do anything, he does the only thing he can do. Count. Count, count, count until he just can't count no more. ONE!!! TWO!!! Zack stomps around the corner to take care of Jackson, but is suddenly grabbed from behind by Static and SMACKED face-first into the nearby steel steps. *CLANG* The fans explode in boos as the booming sound of Zack slamming against the metal steps echoes through the rafters. Static looks ready to continue the assault, but Some Guy has finally had enough. He dashes around the corner and brings Static down with a hard tackle, banging Scotty's head against the floor! "YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE Everybody is getting involved in this now! This is turning into nothing more than a classic donnybrook! COACH ....donnybrook? The referee stops his count for a second to order everyone back to their corners, but still, nothing is being done. So once again, he continues the count. THREE! FOUR! With Some Guy now sitting on top of Static, peppering him with lefts and rights to the face, he is prone for Jackson to come from behind and yank him off his partner by his hair. Some Guy, not wasting a moment, turns around and starts hitting Jax with nasty punches to the face now. FIVE! SIX! Jax gets the offensive though, hitting Some Guy with a quicker onslaught of punches. Guy starts reeling back and forth as Jax continues with the right hands. He then steps back, looking like he's ready to finish the job. Jackson runs forward with a lariat -- -- BUT SUDDENLY GETS KICKED IN THE FACE WITH AN EXPRESS ONE-DAY DELIVERY OF SCHOOL'S OUT~! COLE WHOA! COACH Zack Malibu just came out of nowhere with School's Out! And Jax is down! SEVEN! Zack falls back down to the floor after hitting the Superkick, leaving Some Guy standing dizzily. But of course, being unaware of his surroundings leaves him ripe for the picking. Scotty darts forward and bashes Some Guy in the head with a hard right hand. EIGHT! Guy starts to stagger up the ramp as Static immediately follows him. Scotty hits him with another right hand as Some Guy stumbles up to the top of the rampway. Scotty tries to follow with another punch, but Some Guy is waiting. He blocks it, grabs Static by his hair, and chucks him right through the entrance curtains! The fans pop loud as Static disappears through the doorway and into the backstage area. Some Guy instantly follows as the crowd then turns their attention back to the referee, still counting. NINE! Unfortunately, with the referee now at nine, it looks like nothing will be done. Johnny Jackson is down and gone after School's Out. And Zack Malibu is finished....or is he? He's on his knees, trying to shake the cobwebs out. The Indianapolis crowd starts screaming for him to get back into the ring. All he needs to do is make one final leap. One burst of energy. One surge of strength and he'll make it back into the ring! Zack jumps up to his feet.... TEN! But it's too late! *DING! DING! DING!* The crowd in Indiana starts to loudly boo as Zack rolls into the ring, clearly missing the deadline by a single second. That concept is reaffirmed as Michael Buffer announces the decision over the loudspeakers. BUFFER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN....THIS MATCH HAS ENDED IN A DOUBLE COUNT-OUT! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" COLE What a tough break. CABOOSE It's unfortunate. It feels like this match ended before it was able to truly start. Zack pulls himself up warily as the fans give him a rousing ovation, showing they still support this OAOAST Original, even after coming up short tonight. COLE Well, folks, there we go. For Caboose and the Coach, I’m Michael Cole saying… The lights in the arena abruptly shut off during Cole’s closing remarks, swamping the building in a sea of darkness. CABOOSE Looks like Indiana STILL hasn’t perfected the concept of electricity yet. There is a definite buzz in the crowd as the arena remains covered in shadow. Suddenly, a sole gold spotlight shines into the center of the ring, directly highlighting a bewildered Zack Malibu. Rather confused, Zack wildly looks around the ring as a strange hum starts to play over the loudspeakers. Soon followed by a low clanging of drums, the fans roar, knowing something is about to take place. Finally, a melancholy female voice starts to echo throughout the arena, in sync with the drums. Accompanying this voice are the peaceful notes of what sounds like an organ. Deceived by my eyes And all I was told I should see Opinions not mine The person they taught me to be The beat starts to kick up a little as Zack warily wipes the sweat out of his eyes. Meanwhile, two gold spotlights now appear at the top of the ramp, diverting Zack’s attention to the entranceway. One night in the dark A vision of someone I knew And in the darkness I saw A voice say I’m you The song gets louder, with a sudden edgier and hard rock sound to it. An electric guitar can now be heard in the beat as a series of golden beams start to flicker, creating a strobe effect in the ring. Inside me, a light was turned on…. The arena lights suddenly turn on as an unknown figure jumps over the ringside barricade and slides into the ring. AND THEN I WAS ALI-I-I-I-VE! The music instantly stops as Zack is suddenly brought down with a STIFF forearm to the side of the head. Zack immediately falls to the mat as the fans collectively gasp at this man coming out of nowhere. COLE What the hell is this?! With Zack prone on the mat, this unknown man starts laying in a series of vicious stomps to the face of The Franchise. After one particularly hard kick to the jaw, the man takes a second to move away from his fallen foe and move right into the center of the ring. The crowd roars in shock as they get a good glimpse of this mysterious attacker and realize it is none other than…. COLE DREK STONE!! IT’S DREK STONE!! CABOOSE OH MY GOD! DREK STONE IS BACK!! OMG GASP “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” With a satisfied grin, Drek takes a second to absorb the crowd’s astonishment. However, he notices Zack struggling to use the middle rope to lift himself up near the corner. Not wanting to waste a moment’s time, Drek stomps over and grabs a huge handful of Zack’s hair. With a yank of the Franchise’s golden locks, Drek pulls him into the center of the ring and sets him up in a front facelock position. COACH Drek Stone is attacking Zack Malibu! But why?! CABOOSE I don’t know! I don’t know! But I mean….Drek Stone is back~! He’s ACTUALLY back! With Zack Malibu helpless in position for the vaunted StoneCutter, the fans loudly boo as Drek lifts Zack up – “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” -- and SPIKES Zack’s head into the mat with a VICIOUS StoneCutter~! COACH YO~! The booing continues as Zack hits the mat HARD, sending a loud thud through the arena. COLE Why?! I don’t get it. For some reason, Drek Stone is HERE and choosing to make a statement through Zack Malibu! The crowd resoundingly boos the former OAOAST Heavyweight Champion, but he simply shrugs it off and steps through the ropes to the outside. Without a moment’s hesitation, Drek grabs the timekeeper by the end of his necktie and yanks him off the chair he was sitting on. He then quickly folds the chair up and climbs into the ring, weapon in hand. CABOOSE Okay, Drek. I think you made your point. With Zack still down on the ground, Drek deliberately sets the chair up in a standing position in the center of the ring. Pleased with its positioning, Drek then looks out at the Indianapolis crowd and arrogantly slaps his chest, earning a RAUCOUS chorus of boos. CABOOSE Oh, how I missed this man. COACH Gone for more than a month, and these fans still truly despise him. That is quite the accomplishment. After cracking his fists silently, Drek grabs another handful of Zack’s hair and pulls him over towards the chair. The majority of the fans let out a short groan as Drek steps onto the seat of the metal chair, keeping his grip on Malibu’s hair. COLE What is Drek doing? He’s standing on the chair and…uh oh. No! What the hell?! Many in the crowd scream as Drek, still standing on the chair, quickly picks Zack up into a piledriver position. COLE No! NO! You’ll break his neck! CABOOSE Drek, come on. Put him down! Don’t do this! Unfortunately, his #1 supporter’s pleas aren’t enough as Drek jumps up – *CRUNCH~!* -- and drives Zack’s head THROUGH the metal chair with a PILEDRIVER!! COACH ….oh my God. The chair collapses in a wreckage of twisted metal as Zack crumples to the mat in a fetal position. Meanwhile, Drek simply sits up triumphantly, casting a cold stare towards the headliner of the OAOAST. COLE What the hell?! What is Drek Stone thinking here?! I thought he was gone! I thought we were done with him! I thought he promised to retire forever! Why the HELL did he feel the need to attack Zack Malibu here tonight?! CABOOSE Who are you even asking these questions to?! I have absolutely no idea why Drek Stone did this! But give the man some time to explain! Drek Stone, satisfied with his work, moves back towards Zack and rolls him over onto his back. The camera immediately gets a close-up shot of a NASTY gash cut across the forehead of Zack Malibu. In a matter of seconds, his face is already covered in blood, staining the mat with pools of crimson. His right eye looks to have quickly swelled up from that piledriver, and the shiny white tooth sitting on the mat next to him is an indication that even further damage might have been done. But Drek doesn’t care. He simply stands over Zack’s body and raises his arm up high as the chorus of that rock song earlier starts to play once again. Defined by another So much wasted time Out of the darkness Each breath that I take will be mine COLE What a bastard! What an egomaniac! The fans LOUDLY scream and boo as Drek continues to stand over Zack Malibu’s body, clearly proud at the carnage he has brought tonight. And the music keeps playing. If you close your eyes Your life A naked truth revealed COLE Zack Malibu could be seriously hurt! And for no reason whatsoever! Dreams you never lived And scars never healed CABOOSE I don’t know the motivation here either. But Cole, it’s time to come to the realization that once again, Drek Stone is BACK~! In the darkness Light will take you to the other side CABOOSE And no one, including Zack Malibu, is safe! Drek continues to look out into the Indianapolis crowd with a wide grin – a proud grin – a chilling grin -- as the camera slowly fades away, barely capturing the final few lines. And find me waiting there You’ll see If you just close your eyes …..if you just close your eyes… *FADE TO BLACK*

COLE We are all set Ladies and Gentlemen. Crystal and Gunner forced this match by beating Axel and Hoff last week in our tag team Main Event. This is a special treat for HeldDown viewers, because its one of the most anticipated one on one matches in HeldDown history. CABOOSE Why isn’t this on Pay Per View? COACH Because it wasn’t booked to be on Pay Per View, and I think it stinks. This is like Goldberg versus Hogan! COLE Well, without further ado, let’s take you down to Michael Buffer at ringside. *DING DING DING* BUFFER The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall... and WEAPONS ARE LEGAL!!!!! COLE Wha? CABOOSE Wow. We’re going to see some bloodshed tonight! COACH Well both men predicted a match that no one was likely to forget earlier, and I think this just confirms it! COLE I am so excited for this match you guys, I can hardly contain- CUE: Glenn Miller's "In The Mood" COLE Zuh? The old jazz song hits, and to the disbelief of EVERYONE, out comes a six foot five old man, with a great grey beard, dressed in a pink shirt, tucked into chequered pants, an old man sweater, and a SHAWL~! CABOOSE … COACH Is that Hoff? COLE Um, yeah, it is. COACH What the hell is going on? The old man who has now been identified as Hoff, walks down the ramp with a walking stick in one hand, wheeling a shopping cart full of all sorts of great weapons in the other. Hoff slowly but surely makes his way down the ramp, dropping his teeth halfway down, as Michael Buffer is given a card by one of the ringside crew. BUFFER Introducing first, from a nursing home outside of Minneapolis Minnesota, weighing in at two hundred seventy five pounds… He is “The Past”… HOFF! Hoff stops at ringside and slowly but surely makes his way up the steps, and into the ring, where he hobbles to the centre of the ring, stopping, and suddenly tearing off his clothes, and revealing his normal ring attire, to the delight of the massive Indiana crowd. COLE Well, yeah. Um, ok. COACH HAHAHAHA! HE’S AN OLD MAN! “THE PAST!” GET IT? HAHAHAHA! CABOOSE Who dragged me into this job again? “In The Mood” slowly dies down and is replaced with a very happy track that is soon known to be REM’s “Shiny Happy People”. Another man comes out, with bright yellow pants and smiley face T-Shirt on, as well as huge Star-shaped glasses, and a smile that would even make DDP go “wait a minute, bro” CABOOSE Is that…? COLE Oh no. COACH Could this be the first OAOAST match to be inducted into WrestleCrap? COLE Well it’s not looking great, let me tell you. Axel is here, and he’s… happy. The OAOAST Champion greets shocked fans around the top of the entrance ramp, skipping and dancing around like Shawn Michaels, but with a cheesy grin. The OAOAST Champion then stops in the middle of the ramp, before doing the Double J strut! He ends the strut with a peace-sign crucifix pose… BOOM! The arena is showered in confetti! BUFFER And his opponent, from the beautiful, lovely city of Hobart Tasmania, Australia where the sun is always shining, he is the reigning OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion… “The Light One”… AAAAAAAXELLLLLL!! COLE The Light One? Oh god. COACH Whoever came up with that idea is G-H-E-Y Gheeeeeeeeeeey. CABOOSE Bobby should be ashamed. Axel skips down to the ring and slides in, going face to face with his opponent and relinquishing his title belt. The bell rings, and the two men step forward to face each other, and… …do rock paper scissors? COLE Well come on now. Axel loses, as his paper gets cut to bits by Hoff’s scissors. Axel reluctantly steps out of the ring and grabs the tag rope, leaving Hoff in the ring alone. Hoff aces around the ring, before grabbing himself around the waist in a rear self-waist lock, and throwing himself down to the mat! COACH Hoff is down! First knockdown of the match to Hoff! CABOOSE Do you have nay idea how stupid that sounded? Hoff lays an arm over himself, and the referee, confused as well as laughing hysterically, counts one before Hoff lifts his own shoulder off of the mat. Hoff grabs his other arm and launches himself for an Irish Whip, coming off of the ropes, and doing a full somersault into the air, and landing on his back in the centre of the ring! COLE For an old guy, he sure does move well! Hoff rolls over onto his stomach and puts both hands under his chin, pulling back for a one-man camel clutch. “The Past” screams in agony, and tells the ref to watch the beard, as he is pulling on it, to which the referee reprimands… him. Hoff escapes his own hold, and connects with a thumb to his own eye, giving him a chance to tag in Axel, and at the same time shout in agony. COACH The OAOAST Champion is into the match for the first time! Axel tries his best to kick himself in the midsection, and while he doesn’t pull it off, it’s a damn good try. Axel sends himself for an Irish Whip, coming off of the ropes, ducking thin air, coming off of the other side and jumping over thin air, coming off the ropes again and doing a somersault of his own, but landing on his back in a one man sunset flip, as the referee counts two, but Axel escapes at the last second. COLE This is absurd. Axel then gets up and spots Hoff, who is laughing in the corner, and points at his opponent. Hoff steps into the middle of the ring and the two men have words, wit the camera picking up Hoff saying ‘lets get serious!’ COACH Well NOW we might have something to call! Axel raises his left arm into the air, inviting Hoff for a test of strength. Hoff obliges and grabs Axel’s hand, locking his into place, and… …placing another hand around Axel’s waist? COLE The hell? The two men stare at each other, and then stare in front, before dancing around the ring! The referee is in shock, the announcers are in shock, and the crowd is speechless! The two combatants dance around the ring once or twice, before both falling down, as if shot! COLE BOTH MEN ARE DOWN! WHO CAN MAKE THE COVER? Hoff crawls ever so slowly toward his opponent, draping one finger over the fallen OAOAST Champion. The referee bends down to count… ONE!!! TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! THREEEEEEEENOOO!!!!!!! Axel JUST gets a shoulder up. COACH HOW DID AXEL KICK OUT THAT WAS AMAZING RESILIENCE! CABOOSE Don’t try and make this match into something it’s not. That being, good. Hoff can’t believe it. He gets an ANGRY~! Look on his old face, and rolls to the outside to his shopping cart. There he grabs… A TOWEL! COLE Well they’re sure as hell bringing the work rate tonight guys! CABOOSE If they were retarded midgets, I would agree. They just HAD to screw up Crystal and Gunner’s plans, didn’t they? Hoff rolls back into the ring with the offending bright pink towel, aiming it at the back of Axel, and FLICKING IT, making a massive sound all over the area causing Axel to roll around on the mat like D-Von Dudley after a decent move. Hoff repeats the process a second, and then a third time, causing ‘The Dark One’ to act like he’d just been shot. Axel rolls to the ropes and pulls himself up, but Hoff flicks the towel and-- NO! Axel CATCHES THE TOWEL!! J.R. BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!! CABOOSE Shoo! Axel grabs the towel and yanks it away from Hoff, causing the big man's eyes to go wide. Axel grins an evil grin, rears back, and SNAPS the towel into Hoff's midsection, doubling the big man over. Axel walks over to Hoff, grabbing the towel in both hands... AXEL "HIIIIIII-YAAAAAH!!!!!" ...and SMASHING Hoff across the back with it! The fabric collides with Hoff and sends him down like a pile of bricks, and Axel dives on Hoff, making the cover! The referee counts!! ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE--NOOOOOOOOOOOOO~!~!~!~! Hoff JUST gets a shoulder off the mat!! COLE This is absurd! CABOOSE I think I'm gonna puke. Axel throws the towel out of the ring and then slides to the outside, digging into the shopping cart. Hoff tries to get up, but he keeps falling over, unable to stand after the vicious assault! Axel grabs....A CAMERA!! COLE A camera?! Hoff finally makes it to his feet, swinging wildly at the air as Axel slides into the ring. Hoff puts his hands up like a boxer, but Axel aims the camera at him and *CLICK* And HOFF GOES DOWN!!! COACH OMG WHATTA SHOT!! COLE He JUST TOOK HOFF'S PICTURE!! Why would that hurt? COACH HE'S HARDCORE!! Hoff falls to the mat, kicking and flailing in massive amounts of crippling pain. Axel looks down...then turns the camera on himself and smiles that cheesy grin. COACH AXEL, NO!!! *CLICK* And AXEL GOES DOWN!!! COLE Oh, no. Both men roll around on the ground as, bewildered, the ref starts a ten-count. Before he gets very far, though, Hoff rolls to the outside and heads back to the shopping cart. CABOOSE What now? Hoff reaches in and grabs...A BAG OF MARSHMALLOWS~ COACH COLE Hoff has the marshmallows! J.R. BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP!! Hoff slides into the ring, yelling "get up!" at Axel. Axel immediately stops writhing in pain and gets to his feet, laughing. CABOOSE This is NOT how a champion is supposed to act. Hoff holds up the bag of marshmallows and Axel nods. Hoff opens the bag, and grabs a handful of marshmallows...and throws them at Axel! Axel COLLAPSES to the mat!! COACH NOT THE MARSHMALLOWS! HOff, HAVE A CONSCIENCE!! Hoff laughs maniacally before eating a marshmallow...and holding his gut in pain!! COLE Wait, what now?! Hoff falls to his knees, doubled over. The ref takes the bag and reaches in, pulling out...A VIAL OF GREEN LIQUID!!! COACH POISON! AXEL POISONED THE MARSHMALLOWS!! CABOOSE WHEN would he have even done that?!? COACH SO DEVIOUS!! Hoff falls as Axel gets to his feet, slowly, and looks down at Hoff. Axel quickly runs to the shopping cart, reaches in, and pulls out....A LIGHTSABER!! COLE Episode III hits theaters today, fans! CABOOSE Quit shilling. Axel turns to Hoff...but the lightsaber flies out of his hands as Hoff reaches forward! COACH HOFF CAN USE THE FORCE~! AMAZING!! CABOOSE AXEL JUST THREW THE LIGHTSABER AT HIM, YOU DUMB @#$% Axel looks shocked, until he reaches into the cart and grabs ANOTHER lightsaber! Hoff gets up, and both men "activate" their lightsabers by releasing the plastic tubing. They step toward each other....and have an EPIC LIGHTSABER DUEL!! COACH SOMEONE GET JOHN WILLIAMS UP IN THIS BITCH!!! The two clash swords for a good minute, ending when Axel finally pokes Hoff in the arm. Hoff GRABS his arm, SCREAMING in pain, as Axel laughs. Axel throws down his lightsaber and goes back to the cart, grabbing....AN EGG CARTON!!! OLLIE WILLIAMS HE GON' GET IT!! Axel slides into the ring as Hoff gets to his feet, and Axel readies...and SWINGS THE EGG-- NO!! Hoff DUCKS, and the two men face each other. Hoff with a THREE STOOGES EYE POKE...NO! Axel BLOCKS with the HAND IN FRONT OF FACE...and CATCHES HOFF WITH THE EGG CARTON!!! COACH THAT'S IT!!!! Eggs go flying as Hoff gets broadsided, hitting the mat. Axel pounces, hooking BOTH of Hoff's legs in a pin cover! ONE!!!!! TWO!!!!!!!! THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *ding ding ding* COACH WHAT A MATCH!! "Shiny Happy People" plays as Axel LEAPS off of Hoff, celebrating. The ref tries to raise his hand, but pulls away as his hand becomes covered in egg. BUFFER The winner of this match, "The Light One," AXEL!!!! Hoff gets up and holds his head in his hads, sobbing. Axel celebrates...until Hoff shoves him. COLE What the hell? Hoff looks at Axel, Axel looks at Hoff...then they both turn to the crowd and DO THE WAVE!! CABOOSE What. The laughing, cheering fans do the wave with them, dancing in the stands. COLE Well, folks, I have to say, this was one of the most unique matches I have ever seen. CABOOSE They did promise us something we'd never forget. Hoff and Axel keep dancing...until Hoff grabs Axel by the shoulder and points to the entrance! COLE What the...it's GUNNER! The fans BOOOOOOO as Gunner Sharps comes stomping down to ringside. Hoff and Axel turn to meet him...not noticing the slim figure sliding into the ring! COLE Hey wait a minute! It's-- *CRACK* CRYSTAL cracks Axel across the back with a steel chair, sending him to the mat! "BOOOOOOOOOO" Hoff turns and advances on Crystal, only to be spun around and CLOTHESLINED out of his boots by Gunner! The dastardly duo high-five before Crystal slides out of the ring and looks under the apron. Meanwhile, Gunner takes turns stomping each man, laying down a vicious beating! COLE This is awful! CABOOSE This is GREAT! COACH What's Crystal getting? Crystal finally pulls a LADDER from under the ring, drawing a cry from the fans. COLE Crystal with that ladder! Is she looking to send a message to Axel tonight? Crystal slides the ladder into the ring, then follows it in. Gunner pulls Axel up and holds him as Crystal grabs the ladder and sets it on her shoulder. Crystal runs forward and drives the ladder into Axel's face! "BOOOOOOOOOOO" COLE We need help out here! Crystal laughs as she straddles Axel, driving the ladder repeatedly into his ribs. Meanwhile, Gunner leaves the ring and goes under, coming up with a TABLE! COLE Come on, no, don't do it! CABOOSE Hey, weapons are legal in this match! COLE The match is over, somebody needs to put a stop to this! Gunner hurls the table into the ring, then climbs in after it. Gunner gets up and grabs the table, setting it up in the corner. Crystal throws the ladder down and picks Hoff up, tossing him gently into the table! The table buckles, and Gunner sets up in the opposite corner! He charges...and delivers the SHARP END THROUGH THE TABLE!! COLE Good LORD! This is sickening! Crystal laughs as she pulls Axel onto his feet. Once again, she hooks him in a reverse fireman's carry...before dropping him with his own AXEL SLAM...ONTO THE LADDER!! COACH DAYUM~! Axel lies in a heap, clutching at his face, which made direct contact with the ladder. Gunner grabs a mic from the timekeeper, and hands it to Crystal. CRYSTAL Boys...THIS is hardcore. "Plug In Baby" plays to a chorus of boos as Crystal throws the mic down. She exits, followed by Gunner, who spares one last boot for Axel's ribs. COLE Fans, I cannot believe what just happened. Hoff and Axel came out here not to fight each other, but to entertain the crowd, and Gunner Sharps and Crystal laid them out. CABOOSE Crystal and Gunner wanted to make sure that Hoff and Axel were beat up before School's Out, and if they weren't going to do it themselves, then they'd do it for them! What a beating. Crystal and Gunner laugh at the top of the ramp, and the camera cuts to Axel and Hoff slowly picking themselves up off the mat. COLE Well folks, we've got more to come, including Zack Malibu versus Johnny Jackson! Stay tuned! The scene fades....not to commercial, but to a shot of a still-sweaty Jay Richards in the locker room, still in his battle gear. Jay talks on a cell phone as Jumbo simultaneously downs two bottles of champagne. JAY You damn right I did it! ...Yeah! ...Yeah...no, I think we're good. Nah, that woman doesn't-- Jay is cut off by Jumbo, who pours some of the champagne over his head. Jay laughs as Jumbo slaps him on the back before going back to his conversation. JAY Nah, man, she has no idea. We're all set. Jay pauses, and a very genuine smile replaces his cocky grin. JAY I can't believe I did it, either. Thank you, so much. Even if none of this was going down, I'd still want to be here. But this is going to make it all the better. As the other person responds, Jay's cocky grin returns. He nods as he says... JAY Excellent. I'll see you soon. Jay hangs up the phone, then turns his attention back to Jumbo. JAY WOOOOOOOOO! JUMBO YEAH!!! The two celebrate as "LaLa" plays, and the shot cuts to Zack Malibu walking down the hallway. COLE Folks, I don't know what that was, but I know what this is! Zack Malibu, Johnny Jackson! NEXT!

Michael Buffer: Introducing, from Death Valley, Asmodai, Mephisto, and Lilith, collectively known as Satan’s Foot Soldiers! ~The group comes out as “Lightbringer” by Interfector hits and walk down to the ring, where they all make mock crucifix poses and utter nonsense.~ Michael Buffer: And introducing their opponents, Otaku II, Ayane Mitsui, and “The Sheriff” Tony Capella, collectively they are known as Team Otaku! ~Team Otaku also walks down the ramp and gets to the ring in a very no nonsense manner before getting into the ring, where SFS attacks them.~ Cole: Both of these teams are making their OAOAST debuts, and they apparently couldn’t wait for the bell to get started, ~The referee signals for the bell as both teams continue to brawl. He gets Tony and Ayane to go to their corner while SFS triple team Otaku II until the ref finally gets them under control. Asmodai stays in to battle Otaku II. He keeps Otaku at bay by using his reach advantage with kicks to the midsection and punches to the head. Otaku catches a kick and dragon screws his foe. He signals to the crowd, then begins to go into the Sharpshooter, but Lilith flies off the top rope with a springboard dropkick to stop him. Coach: Why is she getting in there? She’s not the legal…, er, person in! Caboose: Because she’s trying to prevent her team from losing, ya idiot. ~The referee cajoles Lilith into going back to her corner, but the damage was done, as Asmodai has taken control of the match by mounting Otaku and pounding him with closed fists to the head. Ayane, the closer member of the team to Otaku, stands on the bottom rope and reaches for her husband so he can make the tag sooner. Asmoadi continues to assault Otaku, but the ref notices that he’s using a closed fist, and the referee warns him to quit it. Asmodai lets go of Otaku and gets in the referee’s face and threatens to burn him with a flamethrower later on, but when he turns around he walks right into a HUGE DROPKICK by Otaku II. Cole: Otaku II MUST make a tag! ~Otaku II manages to get back to his feet, stumbles toward his corner, then dives into the corner to make the tag to Ayane Mitsui! Ayane grabs Asmoadi by the head and pulls him into a Thai clinch where she delivers a series of knees to the midsection. She pulls out and attempts the Golden High Kick, but her leg gets caught, and Asmodai spins her around then scoop slams her down. He then pulls her back up by the hair and drags her into the SFS corner where he tags in Lilith. Lilith mocks her foe and blasts Ayane with a knee to the midsection, and Ayane folds in half. Lilith then throws her down to the mat, headfirst. Lilith applies a chokehold, and the ref begins his count. She lets go just before 5, then tries for a pinfall. Tony comes over and breaks it up, but Lilith gets up and BLOWS A FIREBALL in his face! CAPELLA’S FACE IS BURNED! Cole: What a vile trick! Coach: There was no reason to do that. Caboose: Yes, there was. It’s called winning a match. You do whatever you need to do to win. ~The referee warns SFS that if any of them try any more illegal tactics, they will be DQ’ed. Tony Capella has been rolled out of the ring and taken out on a stretcher.~ Coach: This match has just become a handicap match! There’s no way Tony Capella will return to this fight. ~Lilith pulls up Ayane and applies a headlock. Ayane starts to show signs of life, and begins hitting Lilith with elbows to the midsection. Then she takes down Lilith with a judo throw! She stumbles to her corner and tags in Otaku II! Lilith tags in Mephisto! He charges! Otaku hits him with a lariat! Asmodai attacks! He gets a punch to the face! Lilith dives at him, but she gets a martial arts kick to the head. Otaku picks up Mephisto and BAM! Bublegum Crash! The pin! 1! 2! 3! Cole: Team Otaku picks up a win despite some serious hardships! Well, folks, we're moments away from Hoff taking on Axel in what should be a hell of a match. Josh Matthews and Jackie Gayda are standing by with the two, so let's go to them! We cut back to Jackie Gayda, standing by in front of the HeldDown Logo backstage. JACKIE I am lucky enough to be joined right now by the man who will take on his new found friend Hoff tonight. The OAOAST Champion… Axel. The shot widens and we see the reigning Champ, title belt over his shoulder, training gear on, looking focused for his match tonight. JACKIE Firstly Axel, do you think the recent ladder stipulation that HeldDOwn General Manager Josie Baker added to your match with Crystal at Scholl’s Out disadvantages you at all? AXEL Well I doubt it. Crystal’s a fast competitor, that’s for sure, but its not as if its going to be “bell rings, then first one up the ladder wins”, is it? In a ladder match, you have to incapacitate your opponent so much that they can’t stop you from climbing the ladder and grabbing the championship belt. And at School’s out, it won’t just be any championship belt, it’ll be the OAOAST World Heavyweight Championship belt. And as you have seen from my title matches, I don’t take them lightly. JACKIE Axel, tonight you face a good friend in Hoff in a non title match. Are you going to be able to still be friends after this match, and will you hold back? AXEL Will I hold back? Oh come on Jackie, please, questioning my integrity as a competitor the first time you interview me. Hoff knows, and everyone else in this arena knows, that I never hold back in my contests. Hoff and I spoke earlier today, and we know the importance of this match. We know exactly what this match means to both of our careers. I don’t deny Hoff the opportunity to face me one on one, and go full tilt at it. We’re going to have one hell of a contest tonight, and something you’re never likely to see again. Jackie, if you’ll excuse me… JACKIE Certainly. There we have it guys, Axel and Hoff, one on one for the first time in nearly a year, later tonight! The scene switches to Josh Matthews, with HOFF, still dressed in his workout gear. The fans cheer as Josh looks up at the focused Hoff. JOSH Hoff, what are you thinking right now, going into a match with a man who has become a friend to you? Hoff closes his eyes and breathes in before looking down at Matthews. HOFF I never wanted this match, Josh. I never asked for this match. I want a piece of Axel as bad as anyone...but not this way. Axel, you know I want you one-on-one, man-to-man, for the title you wear around your waist. But this is the hand we've been dealt, and I intend to play it out. Hoff grabs the mic from Josh and looks hard at the camera. HOFF Axel, we may be friends, we may be teammates, but tonight we're rivals in the most anticipated match of the year. Every fan, EVERY FAN has been dying to see their two heroes clash head-to-head. Axel, I don't intend to disappoint my fans. I don't intend to disappoint your fans. I'm going out tonight to give the people what they want. "YEAH!!!!" HOFF But as much as I want to make these fans happy, there's one more very important reason I'm going out there tonight. I'm going out to show you what I'm made of. What I'm all about. To let you know that the belt around your waist isn't safe. Sooner or later, I will get my shot, at MY title, and tonight, you get a sneak preview. So Axel, you better get ready. Get ready for the fight of your life, because tonight, I'm taking you out. Hoff looks hard into the camera, eyes dark, before stepping back and flipping the microphone to a surprised Matthews. Hoff stares Josh down for a moment, then turns and walks off. COLE HOFF! AXEL! NEXT!!!!!!!!

EARLIER TODAY A cameraman, shockingly in the right place at the right time (who'd have thunk, eh?), catches Some Guy and Zack Malibu coming into the building. With bags slung over their shoulders, Malibu and Some Guy walk and converse with each other, until they stop short, leaving our camera to pan to the left and show Dan Black, Tony Brannigan, and CWM standing in their path. MALIBU What? BLACK Don't give me that, Zack. What's this crap about you taking on Jackson tonight? MALIBU Well, it's quite the process, see. We're wrestlers, who work for a company. Said company then has the power to book us against...ready for this...OTHER WRESTLERS! Pretty neat how that works out, huh? TONY Cute, Malibu, but you know what, if you guys hadn't stuck your nose in T.O.E. business last week, there wouldn't be a Jackson to fight tonight. We had those boys done for, but you guys got overzealous, got greedy, and had to step in for a piece of the action, didn't you? SOME GUY Wait...were we watching the same match? The GPX were ready to bail out on you guys until we forced them back to the ring, and the only thanks we got was from this a--hole dropping me with a Pollycutter. CWM I'd do it again to. In a second. Some Guy drops his back, and goes nose to nose with his old foe. SOME GUY Try it. Black T then pull CWM back, while Malibu tries to calm Some Guy. MALIBU Look, all I know is I got him tonight, and we BOTH have them at the PPV. Now I'm far from friends with you guys, but maybe, just maybe, if we worry about the GPX first and ourselves second, they won't be able to put one over on us like they have the last few weeks. BLACK Come off it, Malibu. Here you go, trying to be the savior again, the voice of reason. Tony and I have handled the GPX well enough in the past, so if you think that we need YOUR help to take them... SOME GUY Does this look like the same GPX to you? TONY He does have a point, Dan. BLACK ... MALIBU Look, I'm not asking for any help from you. All I'm saying is to put them at the top of your hit list, worry about us after the fact. Otherwise this whole thing is going to snowball in all of our faces, because you saw what Crystal said last week. She approved of what they did, and if they manage to brainwash even one more person, this place is gonna become anarchy central. The Original Elite look on, silently. MALIBU Forget it. You guys do what you want. I've got a match. Let's go, SG. Malibu and Some Guy walk off, leaving The Original Elite to ponder what Malibu has said to them. *cut to the ring~!* COLE Fans, we're all set for our X-Title match! *The Wall by Kansas strikes the Pepsi Arena and the crowd gives off a mixed reaction for their hometown product Alfdogg as he comes out from behind the curtain* Cole: Some of the people here still cheering on Alfdogg Caboose: We’re in Indiana Cole. These people aren’t clapping, they’re probably swatting at the flies surrounding their dirty selves. *Alfdogg approaches a young male fan wearing a Sandman9000 t-shirt looking for a High-5. Alf looks to appease him but instead purposely misses the kid’s hand and slaps him in the forehead instead. Alfdogg cackles and continues his way to the ring while security holds back the parent who’s trying to make their way over the guardrail for payback* Coach: Alfdogg is really pushing the crowd’s buttons tonight… *Alfdogg enters the ring and removes his flannel while the Ring announcer officially introduces him. The Wall stops though and is soon replaced by Boogieman, which causes the entire arena to boo with the exception of one crying kid, his furious parent, and a bunch of people in Reggie Miller jerseys.* Cole: This could be the first time The 70s Dude has ever received even a small amount of applause Caboose: And that’s a crying shame Cole Cole: Crying Game? Caboose: No, “crying shame”… Cole: Oh…cause I liked that movie Coach and Caboose: … *The 70s Dude makes his way out and down to the ring with his groovy new title on his shoulder. After being announced to the crowd The Dude hands the title over to the ref and Alfdogg rips the title from Nick Patrick’s hands and holds it high in the air. A couple of fans cheer but most boo before The 70s Dude turns Alf around and levels him with a right haymaker. The title flies out of the ring and Alf hits the mat causing Nick Patrick to ring the bell and start the match~* Cole: The 70s Dude not waiting at all here *The Dude brings Alf back to his feet and whips him into the ropes. Alf bounces off and runs back like a screaming savage and hits a Lou Thesz press. The “unique” Indiana native and fat hippy roll around the mat exchanging punches before falling off the apron and to the outside. The Dude gets to his feet first and walks off the cobwebs. Alf gets up and once again runs at The Dude but this time Alf doesn’t get as lucky as before and is hip-tossed into the steel guardrail.* Cole: Good gravy! Alfdogg took a hard shot there Caboose: He’s never been one to rely on his brains. You should see him try to play Trivial Pursuit. *The Dude brings Alfdogg back to his feet and whips him further up the aisle into the other steel guardrail. Alf slumps down and favors his lower back. The Dude looks out to the crowd and begins to dance a bit before once again turning his attention to the challenger. The 70s Dude readies himself and runs like a wild locomotive towards Alfdogg and looks to land one of those fat man splashes, but the little kid from before seeing Alfdogg near him again slaps Alf in the forehead causing him to fall. The 70s Dude too full of momentum to stop hits the steel guardrail hard and gets the wind knocked out of him.* Caboose: Somebody should eject that child from the arena! This is another case of fans getting involved with sports and… *As Caboose finishes his rant The 70s Dude looks up to the little kid and tries to throttle him. The kid runs away and Alf nails The Dude from behind with a Double-Ax Handle. Alf then takes The Dude by his hair and leads him towards the back and throws him out of the first Emergency Exit they come to. The Dude stumbles awkwardly outside and Alfdogg follows him out with a smug grin. Alf tries throwing a right hand but its blocked and The Dude short arm clotheslines him down. Alf hits hard and The Dude lays a boot into him* Go by this map The Dude continues to stomp Alf, sending him scampering up the West aisleway. COACH Where are they going, Cole? They appear to be battling away from the ring here! COLE That's exactly what they're doing, Coach! They're in the concourse here between the Pepsi Coliseum, and what appears to be a barn of some sort... The Dude continues his assault, kicking Alf on the ground, then drops an elbow. The Dude then picks up Alf and takes him outside, ramming him into the side of the barn across the path! COLE They're OUTSIDE! This X-title match has spilled onto the fairgrounds here at the Indiana State Fair! Alf retreats to the entryway of the barn and grabs a handful of hay, which he uses to rake the face of The Dude! Alf then gives The Dude a Russian legsweep into the side of the barn! COLE OH, The Dude hit the back of his head hard on the wall there, and now they're going into this other building... COACH That's a cattle barn, Cole! I can see cows in there! I shudder to think what kind of "weapons" they could find in here! Alf picks up the Dude for an atomic drop, and drops him onto a gate! He then measures the Dude, and delivers a superkick, sending him into the cow pen! Alf then grabs a Pepsi from a nearby fan and takes a drink, dumping the remains on the Dude, before coming over the rail with a guillotine legdrop! COLE This is great! Who would have thought we'd see part of an OAOAST championship match contested in a cowpen, and they're slugging it out right in there with the cows! Alf spots a huge pile of cow shit, and flashes a devious grin...before setting up The Dude in suplex position! COACH Oh NO! (laughing as he says it) Not in the cow poop! The Dude blocks the suplex, and gives Alf one of his own, sending him back outside the pen, as a group of nearby fans boo. COLE Obviously those fans wanted to see Alf taste the poop that time... COACH ... Did you just say TASTE the POOP? COLE That's NOT what I meant! COACH You are a sick, sick man, Cole. The Dude heads out the North door of the barn with Alf by the hair, as they head towards another building. Dude throws Alf through the closed door. COLE These two are getting farther and farther away from the Pepsi Coliseum...where are they this time? COACH This appears to be some sort of 4-H building, I see some produce on display in the background... Dude takes Alf down onto a table with a clothesline, and grabs a pumpkin! Dude waits for Alf to recover, and smashes the pumpkin on his head, forming a pumpkin helmet on Alf! COACH For those who don't believe in The Great Pumpkin, we've found him right here in Indianapolis, baby! Somewhere Linus Van Pelt is smiling! Dude throws jabs at the pumpkin as it's over Alf's face, as Alf swings blindly, then rolls Alf onto the table and gives him a DDT! However, this finishes the job on the pumpkin, and Alf shoves The Dude over another table, then jumps to said table and delivers a clothesline off of it! COLE Alf able to come right back on The Dude there! You got to think that the pumpkin was able to cushion the blow somewhat on that DDT. COACH There's some PBP you don't hear every week, that's for sure...and now Alf's going for the veggies! Dude makes his way to his feet, only to receive a squash right between the eyes! COACH Well, Alf's used to squashin' kids, but this isn't exactly what we had in mind! Alf ground pounds The Dude for a few seconds, then goes and grabs something else... COACH What the hell goes Alf have now? COLE I have no idea...it looks like an ant farm or something! Wait... Alf tosses it at Dude's head, then immediately makes a break for it! A fan yells "BEES!!!" and everyone in the building runs around frantically! COLE ...that wasn't an ant farm, it was a BEE FARM! The building is evacuating! Dude gets out of the building, escaping from the bees, and searches for Alf. COLE Dude on the look for Alf, who made a mad dash for the exit! He knew what he was doing there! Dude appears to be headed back towards the Pepsi Coliseum now, and you have to remember, Alf grew up here in Indiana! He knows his way around these fairgrounds probably like the back of his hand, Dude I'm sure has never been here before! Dude makes his way north of the Coliseum, when suddenly Alf, posing as a vendor, rams a Dippin' Dots cart into him! Alf pounds Dude some more...then STEALS NACHOS from a little girl! COLE Now why did Alf have to do that? Look at the little girl crying, this isn't funny Coach, why are you laughing? COACH Look at that little girl, she's too young for nachos anyway! Alf eats a chip covered in chili & cheese, then offers them back to the girl, before pulling them back and slamming them onto Dude's head! COACH The Pacers and Pistons are playing playoff basketball downtown right, but Alf just slam-dunked those nachos right on the Dude! Nacho Girl's dad then has words with Alf, and gets superkicked onto a table! Alf then rams Dude into the cart again...and scales the corn dog stand! COLE What is Alf doing here? Dude is on concrete, Alf can't jump onto that! COACH Wait, I don't think Alf has his eyes on the Dude here, Cole! COLE Oh, you've got to be kidding me! Alf can't be THIS sadistic, can he??? COACH Sure he can! He isn't a former World champion because of his kind-hearted nature! Alf gets his balance on the top of the stand, just behind the lights, as The Dude goes inside the stand! COLE Now where's the Dude going...OH MY GOD! Alf gives Nacho Girl's dad a FIVE-STAR ALF SPLASH from the top of the corn dog stand through the table!!! COLE That's a FAN, and Alf puts him through a table, off the top of the corn dog stand, with a Five-Star Alf Splash! COACH And in the meantime, Dude seems to be having a little concession break! Dude comes out of the stand eating a corn dog, laughing at Nacho Girl's dad as paramedics attend to him. He then sneaks up on Alf, who is still feeling the effects of the splash himself, and starts jabbing him in the forehead with the corn dog stick! COACH The Dude is lacerating Alf here with a corn dog stick! Look, he's jamming it right into the forehead, Alf is starting to bleed profusely! Dude grabs Alf and throws him inside of the next stand, where elephant ears are being made! COACH That's where I'm goin' right after this match, Cole! I LOVES me some elephant ears! Dude takes the top off of a cinnamon-sugar shaker and throws it in Alf's eyes! COLE That's a bad place to be blinded, right by those fryers...and SPEAKING OF THE FRYERS... Dude tries to force Alf's face into one of the fryers, as Alf holds on to the edges! Alf is able to come to his senses and kick the Dude low, then knocks him back out of the stand! Alf and Dude slug it out, back to the pathway, where Alf thumbs Dude in the eye! Alf looks West down the pathway, then stomps The Dude in the chest and runs in that direction. COACH Here comes the train, Cole! COLE Alf running toward the train here... Alf gives the train driver a right hand, and throws him out of the train as the old ladies on the train scream! Alf grabs the train walkie-talkie: ALF "Thiiiiiisss is your new driver, Captain Alfdogg. Everyone sit your asses down and grab a hold of something, because it's going to be a VERY...bumpy ride!" COLE YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! Alf immediately floors it after finishing his sentence, but Dude rolls out of the way just in time, and Alf slams the breaks...and Dude springs up with a SPEAR~!, sending Alf out of the train! Dude grabs Alf by the hair, and throws him into another barn. COACH PIGS! They're in a PIG BARN now! Alf goes to the eyes again, and sets Dude up for a German suplex into a pig pen! But Dude goes low, then grabs onto the rail. When Alf comes to his senses, Dude jumps up with assistance from the rail, and grabs Alf around the head with his ankles, and pulls him into the pen!!! COLE ALF'S IN THE PIG PEN! ALF'S IN THE PIG PEN! Dude follows Alf into the pen, and drops BIG FAT LEGDROP! Dude then picks up Alf, and sets him up for THE DRAFT DODGER~! COLE DRAFT DODGER COMING UP...oh no, he's walking towards the trough! Dude stops in front of the trough, but Alf has another handful of hay, and rakes the eyes! Alf then slides off the back...and gives The Dude a trapped-arm belly-to-belly INTO THE TROUGH~!!! COLE OH! THE TROUGH~!!! THE TROUGH~!!! THE TROUGH~!!! DUDE INTO THE TROUGH~!!! Alf goes back in for a move...but is reluctant, because the back of the Dude's shirt is soaked from being in the trough. So Alf rips the Dude's shirt off, then grabs him and drags him with him, then throws him through the concourse as the horses walk through! Dude luckily doesn't get trampled as he gets up and walks with the horses into the barn, with Alf in hot pursuit once the horses are done crossing! Alf follows The Dude through the East concourse, FINALLY back into the Pepsi Coliseum! COLE How about this? This match may be decided in the ring after all! COACH And look, the referee's even still there, he didn't want ANY part of that! *The 70s Dude grabs a steel chair upon entering the building and hides behind a corner. As Alfdogg finally makes his way into the building he’s greeted from behind with a nasty chairshot to the back of the dome sending him to the ground. The 70s Dude brings Alf to his feet and irish whips him into the entrance way ala’ No Mercy for the N64. The two tired competitors brawl their way back to the ring. Alfdogg grabs The 70s Dude by the back of the head and slams him face first into the ring apron. Alf wipes the blood from his own corndog-stick-mauled face before sending The 70s Dude back into the ring.* Coach: This is one of the most brutal matches I’ve seen in years. Caboose: Every Alfdogg match is brutal to watch *Alfdogg signals it’s the end for The 70s Dude who is slowly making his way to his feet. Alf grabs The Dude and positions him for a Burning Hammer!* Cole: We could be seeing a new X-Title holder here! *The Dude sensing how truly screwed he is claws some of the nachos cheese and hay stuck in his beard from earlier and then rubs it all in Alfdogg’s eyes as a last resort. Alf slowly drops The Dude harmlessly and falls to the mat clutching at his eyes. The 70s Dude goes for the pin and even grabs hold of some of the tights! Nick Patrick oblivious to the shenanigans makes the count* 1! 2! 3!!!! Ring Announcer: Your winner…and STIIIIIIIIIIILL the X-Champion. The 70s DuuuuuuuuuUuuuuude! Coach: What a finish! Caboose: Alfdogg was foiled by his own snack treat of choice *The Dude leaves the ring and grabs his title while Alf still tries to rub the nacho hay from his eyes. As all this is happening The Superstar makes his way down the aisle with another referee beside him. Supes and the ref enter the ring and both explain to Nick Patrick what happened as Alfdogg gets to one knee. Nick Patrick then goes outside with the other ref to the ring announcer and tells him something.* Ring Announcer: Due to shenanigans it is my duty to tell you that the decision is reversed… *The crowd doesn’t really care at this point as they’re all just confused as to what they’ve witnessed* Ring Announcer: and your winner of this match via DQ is…ALFDOGG!!!!! Caboose: This is an outrage! *The 70s Dude becomes livid and starts screaming at Allen from outside the ring. Allen goes to help Alfdogg to his feet but the still blinded competitor sometimes known as “Poopdogg” doesn’t know what’s going on and knees Allen in the mid-section. He then grabs Allen and hits him with a Burning Hammer before laying on the mat once again with chili-cheese sauce still stuck in the corner of his eyes. The 70s Dude laughs at the outcome and HeldDown fades to commercial.*

~The camera goes backstage, where we see Team Otaku, which consists of Otaku II, Ayane Mitsui, and Tony Capella. “Mean” Gene Okerlund stands by with them, mike in hand.~ Okerlund: Hello, I am here with Team Otaku as they prepare for a six person tag team match against Satan’s Foot Soldiers. Now, earlier tonight, your opponents said that Satan himself is in their corner. How do you respond to such an amazing claim? Tony: Well, personally, I think they’ve been smokin’ a little too much wacky tobaccy, if ya’ll know what I mean. Otaku: Look, these guys are quite clearly off their rocker, but I don’t care about that. Whatever gets them in the ring gets them in the ring. We are going to do our very best to get a clean pin in the ring. No one else has anything to do with this. We’re going to wrestle tonight, and it will come down to who has the talent and the heart and no God or devil or anything will change that fact. Ayane: They’re all about being showy, I think. They had better be ready to bring their all, because we certainly will! Okerlund: Okay, well, I think we have a pretty good idea of what these folks think. It looks like a great matchup. Back to you guys! We return to a shot of the ring, where hopeful grappler Jay Richards stands at the ready! COLE We're all set for the tryout match of Jay Richards, and this should be interesting! CABOOSE Kid's been itching for this for weeks, and now it's time to put his money where his mouth is. COACH For you money is pounds! You want to eat fat people! CABOOSE WHAT?! COACH Dude, that's wack. In the ring, Buffer gives us the intros. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this match is a tryout match for an OAOAST contract. If the man to my right should emerge victorious, he will be our next OAOAST superstar. That man, weighing in at 205 pounds, and hailing from Orange City, Iowa, is JAY RRRRRICHARDS!!! Richards, dressed in black workout pants with white stripes, and wearing black elbow pads, raises his arms into the air and smiles with what could be a hint of arrogance or simply youthful exuberation. COLE Jay Richards looks good! COACH He looks REALLY good! CABOOSE Gross. I gotta say, the kid has a body, at least. COLE We're told that Richards is 23 years old, and that he's been wrestling on the indy circuit for just about a year! CABOOSE This right here is a big step up for such a young competitor. The salsa rock sounds of "Flight of the Phoenix" ring out across the arena, and the fans give some nice applause to their resident luchadore! BUFFER And his opponent, from Tijuana, Mexico, weighing in at 175 pounds...PHOENIX!! Phoenix comes down the aisle, bounding to the ring and slapping hands with the fans. Phoenix slides into the ring and climbs the ropes, raising his hands into the sky to some nice cheers! COLE So Jay Richards draws Phoenix, a highly skilled competitor! CABOOSE Ha! I call this luck. Phoenix might be speedy, but he gets put down more than Coachman. COACH YEAH-UH~! CABOOSE Ugh, jeez. Phoenix hops off the ropes and comes to the middle of the ring. Buffer exits as the referee reads the rules, taking extra time to make sure Richards understands them fully. The young grappler nods, looking respectful. The ref calls for Pheonix and Richards to slap hands, and they do, then move to their respective corners as the official sounds the bell. *ding ding ding* COLE And we are officially underway! Richards and Phoenix circle, looking each other over. The dart together, and Richards flips Phoenix over with an arm drag! Richards gets to his feet and looks at Pheonix as the latin fan favorite gets to his knees. Richards smiles and shouts "yeah!" COACH Jay Richards is pretty excited about an arm drag! CABOOSE Hey, any victory is worth a celebration. Phoenix gets up and the two circle again. They come together, and this time it's Phoenix flipping Richards over! Phoenix drags the arm and rolls to his feet, slapping his chest and throwing his hands to the side as Richards looks frustrated. COLE And Phoenix turns it around! Richards gets up, and the two come together again. Collar-and-elbow tie-up, and Phoenix pushes Richards back, but Richards reverses and throws Phoenix into the buckle. Jay unloads a knife-edge chop, stinging the chest of Phoenix, and another, and another. Richards smiles as he whips Phoenix cross-corner. Richards runs after the masked man, but Phoenix leaps onto the ropes and flips over Richards! The hopeful grappler hits the corner, and Phoenix catches him in a momo clutch! The ref counts, but Richards kicks out at two! COLE Close call! Richards kicks Phoenix away and rolls backwards onto his feet. Phoenix turns, and the two come together, both leaping with high flipping dropkicks! The men's feet tag each other, and they fall away unscathed, quickly hopping back to their feet. They try again, and the result is the same! Both Richards and Phoenix hop up, and Richards dashes forward with a clothesline, ducked by Phoenix who dropkicks him in the back! Richards hits the ropes and bounces back, and Phoenix leaps and throws him over with a headscissor takedown! Phoenix hops to his feet as Richards hits the canvas! COACH So far, Phoenix's speed has been the dominant factor! Richards climbs to his feet, where Phoenix greets him with a forearm shot that backs him into the ropes. Phoenix fires Richards off, and Jay comes bounding off the strands. Leapfrog by Phoenix, and Richards keeps running. Richards comes off the far side and Phoenix catches him with a hiptoss -- but Richards lands on his feet! Richards snaps a kick to Phoenix's ribs, doubling the luchadore over, and attempts a rocker dropper, but Phoenix flips him over! Jay lands on his feet, and gets knocked down by a spinwheel kick from Phoenix! COLE Nice agility from Jay Richards but Phoenix was a step ahead of him! Cover! The fans cheer as Phoenix hooks Jay's leg, but the would-be star kicks out at two. Phoenix finds his feet and runs the ropes as Richards gets to his feet, but Richards leapfrogs his foe before Phoenix can pull out another maneuver. Phoenix comes off the ropes, and Richards presses him up and lets him fall...but Phoenix swings his legs forward and blasts Jay with a front dropkick as he falls! Jay falls onto his back and rolls over, finding his feet as Phoenix rolls up to a vertical base of his own. Phoenix charges at Jay and leaps for a hurricarana, but Jay grabs him by the thighs and falls backwards, dropping Phoenix jaw-first on the top turnbuckle! CABOOSE Now THAT'S a nice move! Phoenix grabs his jaw, staggering back in obvious pain, right into a schoolboy from Richards! ONE, TWO, THR-- NOT QUITE, as Phoenix kicks out. COLE Did I see a handful of tights? COACH I don't know, playa! The Coach was checking out some hot action in the third row! CABOOSE Man-on-man action? COACH HOLLA~! CABOOSE Well, *I* didn't see a thing. Both men get back to their feet, and Richards beats Phoenix to the punch, or the chop, as he blisters another knife-edge to the chest of Phoenix. Phoenix staggers back, and Richards whips him into the-- no, Phoenix reverses, and Richards hits the ropes. Richards grabs the top strand, and Phoenix charges...into a back body drop that sends Phoenix ALL THE WAY to the arena floor! COLE Wow! The fans applaud as Richards looks down at his foe. As Phoenix slowly starts to rise, Richards grabs the top rope and leaps, bounding over the strands, twisting in mid-air, and landing on the second rope, back to the fans, and in one fluid motion, performs a dazzling Asai moonsault onto the masked Phoenix! Both men crash in a heap, to the cheers of the crowd! "HO-LY SH*T!" "HO-LY SH*T!" "HO-LY SH*T!" Richards gets to his feet and grabs Phoenix by the back of the mask, rolling Phoenix into the ring and crawling after him. Richards falls on top of Phoenix, and the referee counts! ONE! TWO! THREE NO!!! Phoenix gets his shoulder up at the last second! COLE Jay Richards hit an incredible moonsault, and it almost got him a spot on the roster! CABOOSE That was an amazing move, an AMAZING move. Richards slaps the mat in frustration as he gets to his feet, and pulls his opponent off the canvas. Richards grabs Phoenix and whips him into the corner, and Phoenix hits back-first. Richards charges in, but Phoenix uses the ropes to kick his legs over Richards and roll through, trapping Richards in a victory roll! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT!! COLE There's some fight left in Phoenix yet! Richards kicks Phoenix off of him and rolls to his feet, charging with a clothesline, but Phoenix ducks and hops onto Richards' shoulders with a crucifix! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Richards kicks free of the pinning combination! CABOOSE Richards is losing control in there! Richards gets back to his feet, but Phoenix is up first and meets him with a boot to the midsection! Phoenix runs the ropes and charges at Jay, somersaulting OVER his back and landing behind him! Jay turns around, and Phoenix kicks his legs backwards! Jay instinctively catches him, and Phoenix springs upward, reaches back, and grabs Richards' head, driving him down with a bulldog! Richards' face hits the mat, and Phoenix rolls him over, draping an arm acorss his chest! ONE! TWO! THREENO!!!! Richards gets a shoulder up just in time! Phoenix gets to his feet, looks around the ring...and grabs Richards, pulling him toward the corner! The fans cheer as Phoenix points to the heavens!! COLE Phoenix is looking to put Richards away here! CABOOSE This is bad news for Richards! He is...hey, wait, what the...what the hell? Who is that? COLE Who is that! Phoenix heads onto the apron as a large man comes running down the aisle! COLE It's...it's JUMBO!! COACH Ricardo Montana! Jumbo in the house! COLE But why is he out here?! Phoenix climbs up the ropes as Jumbo makes his way to the ring and calls up to Phoenix, drawing the masked wrestler's attention! Phoenix looks down at Jumbo, who is yelling some nasty stuff...and suddenly Phoenix falls, crotching himself on the turnbuckle!! Phoenix's eyes go wide as Jay Richards falls acorss the rop strand! "BOOOOOOOOOOOO" COLE What the hell is this? Come on! The fans jeer as Jumbo laughs, while Jay Richards crawls up the corner. Jay grabs Phoenix and sits him on the top rope, then leaps into the air and hits him with a SUPER RANA off the top rope! Phoenix lands hard on the mat, and Jay crawls on top of him and hooks a leg! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! *ding ding ding* CABOOSE HE DID IT! Jay rolls off of Phoenix and raises a fist into the air as he lies on the mat. BUFFER The winner of this contest, and your newest OAOAST superstar....JAY RICHARDS!!!!!!! Jumbo climbs into the ring as the ref pulls Jay up. The official raises Richards' hand, but Jumbo throws him aside, grabbing Jay by the cheeks and shouting at him with a smile on his face. COLE What is the relationship between these two?! Jay's eyes clear, and as he realizes what has transpired, he LEAPS into the air with a wild grin! Jay jumps into the waiting arms of Jumbo, who holds him into the air as Jay celebrates, like a quarterback and his #1 lineman. Jumbo puts Jay down, and both men smile as Jumbo raises Jay's hand into the air. Some of the fans are booing, but a good many just don't know what to think. COACH Well, we've got a new playa on tha block! COLE Jay Richards has won his match, and we are looking at the newest addition to the HeldDOWN roster. But how does Jumbo figure into all this? CABOOSE Who cares? What matters is that we've just seen the birth of a career! Richards and Jumbo celebrate-- UNO! DOS! TRES! CATORCE!! "Vertigo" hits and the fans cheer, as out from the curtain steps our lovely General Manager JOSIE BAKER! Josie, mic in hand, shakes her head as Jay and Jumbo break off their celebration early. JOSIE Jay...oh, Jay. Somehow, I expected something like this. From the moment you showed up, I haven't trusted you for a second. The fans cheer as Jay yells in protest from the ring, but Josie cuts him off. JOSIE And given your past and who you used to run with, this doesn't surprise me at all. And Jumbo, don't think I haven't been watching you like a hawk. The big man bristles, but Jay holds him back as Josie continues on. JOSIE But, I've got to admit, I set a challenge before you, and you made good. You beat one of the most athletic competitors we have, and congratulations, sir, you are now an OAOAST superstar. Jay smiles, nodding arrogantly. JOSIE Oh, yes you are. And I've got your first official match. At School's Out, it's going to be you, Jay Richards...versus PETER KNIGHT. "YEEEAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jay's mouth drops and he grabs his hair, shocked at the bombshell. Josie smiles as the fans cheer. COLE Oh my goodness! Jay Richards against PK! JOSIE And Jay, just so you know, I've told PK that he's allowed to take certain...liberties. Buddy, you may have a contract here...but I'm going to make you remember who's in charge. So good luck, because you're gonna need it. "Vertigo" hits to a big pop, and Josie smiles mischeviously as she heads back behind the curtain. In the ring, Jay complains to Jumbo, who can only shrug at the announcement that's been dropped. COLE I can't believe it! Jay Richards thrown right into the fire, and put against Peter Knight in his fist official match! CABOOSE This is completely unfair. Whatever the relationship between Jay and Jumbo, it's not Josie's business! COLE Well hopefully we'll find out more next week, but for now, the victory party has been cut short! But like it or not, we've got a new superstar in the OAOAST! COACH HOLLA~! The cameras cut to a shot of Hoff, in his locker room, warming up. The fans cheer wildly for the big man as he tapes his wrists, rolling his neck out. COLE Hoff, tonight, involved in what many are calling the match of his career as he goes one-on-one with the World Champion, Axel! CABOOSE Two annoying jerks. The door to the room opens, revealing the man himself, AXEL! The fans get louder yet as the Dark One walks into the room, a dour expression on his face. Hoff stands with a smile. HOFF Hey, man, what's goin' on! Axel and Hoff slap hands, but it's lackluster on the champ's part as his expression remains unchanged. AXEL Hey, mate. Listen, there's something that's been botherin' me lately... Hoff raises an eyebrow. HOFF What is it? Axel sighs. AXEL Listen, man. It's been fun as all get-out takin' the piss and muckin' around like a pair a' pranksters, but-- HOFF Whoa, whoa, slow down, buddy! You wanna translate for those of us who don't speak Aussie? Axel chuckles, despite himself, before looking back at Hoff. AXEL Listen. It's been great and all jokin' around, but, is this the way we want to go about things? I mean, we gotta get down to business, mate. Hoff nods, mulling it over before looking back at the World Champion. HOFF So, you want to get serious, huh? Well, let me tell you something. Tonight, Crystal and Gunner want us to mop the floor with each other. They're sitting in the back, and they can't wait for us to tear each other apart. AXEL Are you saying you don't want to have this match? HOFF I'm saying we have to, and those two are gonna love every minute of it. So I plan on showing them just who they're dealing with. Axel, I'm not gonna hold back, and neither should you. Tonight is about showing those two that they messed with the wrong guys. And if I've gotta take you down to do it, so be it. Axel stiffens up as Hoff nods solemnly. HOFF Tonight is going to be a show that they will never, ever forget. Axel stares at Hoff for a moment, then nods sternly and walks off. COACH I can't wait, playas! COLE Hoff and Axel, later tonight, and emotions are running high! But up next, we've got the X Title on the line! Alfdogg and The 70s Dude! Don't miss it!

The scene opens on the hot OAOAST crowd, always intelligent. The camera zooms in on some signs -- "ZAK ATTAK," "CHRISTUN WRONG (lol)," "NEW NEW MDNITE XPRSUCKS," and other such luminaries. CABOOSE These fans make Coachman look smart. COACH This is Indiana... CABOOSE Nice. COLE Fans, as you know, last week the Sk8ter Boiz pulled off one of the greatest upsets in OAOAST history when they defeated the World tag team champions New New Midnight Express. Jim Cornette and his men are so furious about their loss, they've decline requests for a live interview. Instead they sent the OAOAST a tape to air tonight. Right now, as a matter of fact. We'll go to that right now, and then for some words with the Sk8ter Boiz. Let's air the tape. Jim Cornette sits behind his desk, covered with paperwork, leaning back on his chair. The OAOAST.com home page on his computer monitor, a collage of still photos on the main page, with a celebrating Sk8ter Boiz in the center with a caption reading: "TAG TEAM SHOCKER!" CORNETTE (whiny voice) "Sk8ter Boiz win! Sk8ter Boiz win! Sk8ter Boiz win!" Those were the words spoken by Michael Cole after my New New Midnight Express were downed by a couple of obsessive fan boys. But who still has the belts? We do! You see, I've experienced my fair share of win and losses over the years, but never have I been more embarrass than I was last week. It's one thing to lose to a team like the Global Party XChange or Black T, but to lose to a team with the win-loss record of the Sk8ter Boiz is an absolute joke! 99 times out of a 100 we'd beat trash like The Marv and Hell Mel. But as they say, every dog has his day. So-- * RING RING * Cornette picks up his phone. CORNETTE Hello? Michael Cole? What do you want? Yeah. Uh-huh. The Frankensteiners? I see. J.C.E. doesn't comment on speculation and innuendos. (hangs up phone) Sorry about that. So, as I was saying, Sk8ter Boiz, you got lucky and caught us on match 100, but can you do it again? Can you beat the New New Midnight Express two-times? I'm so confident you can't that I'll put up $20,000 of my own money in addition to the tag team belts at School's Out, Sunday night May 29th. Think about it. This isn't some measly 1,000-6,000 dollars, I'm talking about $20,000 -- American! That's 10 grand a piece! Imagine all the things you can buy with $20,000. The "Star Wars" franchise from George Lucas? You want it, buy it. That guy'll do anything to make a quick buck. The challenge has been issued. Now all you gotta do is accept? Will you? Cornette laughs as we cut backstage to Tony Schiavone standing by with the Sk8ter Boiz. SCHIAVONE Guys, we heard the challenge for School's Out -- $20,000 and the tag team titles on the line. The Boiz glance at each other in horror. THE MARV Jiminy Jillikers! We're screwed! The Marv rests his head on Tony's shoulders, wiping away tears. SCHIAVONE Wait a minute. You just beat them last week? HELL MEL Yeah, last week, Tony. Let's be honest now. We're two kids from Canada living our dream of being professional wrestlers. We beat the WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, man. The odds of doing that again are well...pretty damn slim. So pray for us. Pray to whatever higher power you believe it. We're going to do our best to realize our dream. If that means loss of blood... THE MARV Oh, no! I can't stand the sight of my own blood. HELL MEL (CONT'D) ...broken bones... The Marv shrieks. HELL MEL (CONT'D) ...paralysis... THE MARV (sobbing) I don't want to die a virgin. HELL MEL (CONT'D) ...so be it, as long as we get some offense in. Fans, come strong. We're gonna need all the support we can get. THE MARV We're screwed! HELL MEL (somber) I know, my brother, I know. But you gotta believe. You just gotta believe. SCHIAVONE Boy, I've been eyewitness to many events in my career, but never have I seen a wrestler or tag team be so concerned about a match after having defeated said opponent. The Sk8ter Boiz have accepted Jim Cornette's challenge for School's Out...in a very unique way. It'll be the New New Midnight Express defending their OAOAST World Tag Team titles against the Sk8ter Boiz live on pay per view May 29th. If the Sk8ter Boiz win, they'll also receive $20,000 of Jim Cornette's own money. School's Out is going to be another great OAOAST event, so call your local cable our satellite operator and order right now! The cameras cut back to Triple C. COLE That Schiavone is such a shill. It disgusts me. Folks, right after HeldDOWN~!, make sure to keep it glued to this channel for the pilot episode of the newest sitcom to hit the airwaves..."The Suite Life of Zack And Some Guy". What ensues when two red blooded male wrestlers end up moving into a hotel room together? Why, HILARITY, of course. Take a look. And watch out for a special guest appearance... COLE I still don't know why you had to use the bat. CABOOSE It's a running gag Mikey. Running gags are all the rage. COACH MAH BABY GUUUUUUUURRRRRRRLLLLLLL~!!!~!!~! COLE ... Backstage, Christian Wright is sat at a makeshift desk (read: catering table). Sat in front of him is a big, BIG sign with the words "CHRISTIAN WRIGHT INVITATIONAL SIGN-UP!" daubed in black paint...and next to that, the sign-up sheet itself. Which has exactly zero names on it. Wright is busy tapping his pen on and off as he impatiently waits for someone, anyone, to pass by. But, there's no-one. No-one. WRIGHT Okay Bo...tildebang 'em. Yes. Interest is so sparse so Wright is pulling out the last resort. Solemnly, Bohemoth picks up a balck can of paint from underneath the table, takes a deep breath before this monumental occurence...and paints a squiggle in between the "P" and the "!" Bo then steps back, admiring his work. And as if by magic, a young trainee walks past, taking a detour when he sees the desk. TRAINEE I couldn't help noticing your tildebang... WRIGHT Keeeep walkin'. The young trainee hangs his head and walks off. But before long, someone else has noticed the tildebang. More than noticed. This person runs over to the sign, dropping to his knees and staring at the tildebang in awe and amazement, drooling at the mouth. Yep, it's Igor. Wright takes one long at Igor...and smiles, giving a thumbs up to Bohemoth. WRIGHT Can I help you my young friend? IGOR DAH! WRIGHT You like the tildebang, huh? IGOR DAH, DAH, TILDERBANGER! DAH! WRIGHT Well, you know, that tildebang represents excitement and amazement. Getting a tildebang is no mean feat. And you know, if you signed up to my open challenge, that'd be pretty tildebang worthy. People all over the earth would be amazed and excited about your good self and YOU could be worthy over your very own tildebang. So... Wright smiles towards Igor, who has competely glazed over and is now staring at Wright, bemused. Sighing, Wright hands Igor a pen and the sign-up sheet. WRIGHT Just sign here. IGOR GUH? WRIGHT Sign. S I G N. IGOR ...GUH? WRIGHT Oh for crying out...what's his name, Bo? BOHEMOTH Igor. WRIGHT EEE...GOR. IGOR AH...IGOR, IGOR!! Finally, Igor seems to understand what's being asked of him, crawling "IGOR" down the length of the paper. Wright smiles as Igor tosses him back the paper and the pen, picking up the sign and jigging off with it cackling. Looking on, Bohemoth shakes his head in disgust, as Wright stands up and chuckles to himself. BOHEMOTH Christian, you're kidding, right? WRIGHT Nobody forced him to sign, did they? Besides, I want to get off on a winning foot don't I? And let's face it...there's no way I can lose to that goof. Now, let's get this back to Josie so she can sign this kid's death wi...I...mean, sign the match. Of course. Wright laughs away, as we fade back to Sofa Central. CABOOSE Ha ha! I love it. COLE That's ridiculous. Christian Wright has duped poor Igor into a match at School's Out and there's no way Igor can survive that. COACH Hey, he's got a win over the World Champion. COLE Oh, please. Poor Igor. Fade in on Josie’s office. Josie herself is sitting at her desk chatting with a director while a technician adjusts the lighting behind her desk. DIRECTOR Ok, let’s next talk about how you first got into the business. Then we’ll go into your relationship with Ken. JOSIE Ok, but I’m expecting someone…. *Knock knock knock* ….right now I guess. Come in!! The sound of a door opening is heard and Peter Knight walks in. The arena crowd watching on the Tron lets out a cheer at his appearance. KNIGHT You wanted to see me? JOSIE Yes I did. How’s the arm? KNIGHT I’m all set and ready to get back in the ring. First guy I want is Alfdogg for putting me on the shelf like that. I know he’s busy tonight, so I want him next week. JOSIE Well, I’ll take that into consideration, but first…(to director and cameraman)…excuse me, can you give us a minute here? DIRECTOR Sure, come on Steve. STEVE THE CAMERAMAN I gotta change tapes anyway. I’ll be at the truck. Both men stand and head out of the office. Steve decides to turn around and get an artsy shot of the office door closing and Josie and PK talking. JOSIE I’ve got a problem……. *commercial*

We return from break to a shot of Alfdogg standing in the ring! COLE Alfdogg has joined us in the ring! CABOOSE I think they get it. COACH Hey, Alf is in the ring, huh, how about that. I'd never have known if Mikey hadn't said anything. CABOOSE You son of a... ALF Ah yes, Indiana, and my hometown people! *crowd cheers* ALF And the Indiana State Fairgrounds...you know, it's fitting that I'm here to win a title tonight, seeing that downtown right about now, the Indiana Pacers are going out without a whimper...*crowd boos*...and sending Reggie Miller into retirement EMBARRASSED, and ASHAMED, thanks to this team of smug, arrogant prima donnas assembled around him. *crowd boos louder* ALF I don't know how their so-called "leader" for the future, Jermaine O'Neal, will be able to look himself in the face tomorrow, knowing that he put on such a pathetic performance when his team needed him the most, and knowing that even Rick Mahorn's fat ass, could pull the headset off, and go out there, and take him to school, at ANY MOMENT HE WANTS TO, with the way he's playing right now! *crowd boos still louder* ALF And don't even get me started on Fred Jo... *just then BoogieMan interrupts the Champion of Champions; Alfdogg causing a mixed reaction from the crowd. The 70s Dude grooves his way on out with the OAOAST X-Title over his shoulder and a microphone in hand* The 70s Dude: Now The Dude aint watched basketball since the days of Dr. J, but I’m still familiar with some of the terms. One of them that comes to mind is the “slam dunk”. See tonight The Dude is going to slam his fist into your face and then dunk your head into a commode where you can sleep with the feces. *The crowd laughs and chants “Poopdogg” which riles up the former OAOAST Champion* The 70s Dude: So get ready, because while it seems you may have forgotten how rock’n the 70s were after tonight you’ll never forget how rock’n The Dude is. *Boogieman hits up again and the crowd continues their chant of “Poopdogg” during it while Alf glares at The 70s Dude who makes his way back behind the curtain.* COLE Wow! The ometown crowd getting on Alfdogg! That match will go down a little later tonight, but first let's take you to "Mean" Gene Okerlund, standing by with an...ecclectic group of people. Gene? ~The camera shows us “Mean” Gene Okerlund standing with Satan’s Foot Soldiers. They’re all in their robes, which include hoods that cover most of their face(think like AJ Styles’ hood) and create quite a contrast to Gene’s tuxedo.~ Okurlund: Hello, this is Gene Okerlund here with a group just arriving in the OAOAST, “Satan’s Foot Soldiers.” ~Lilith steps forward and grabs Okerlund’s mike.~ Lilith: That’s right! We came here to show SATAN’s greatness! He will lead us to victory over all. OAOAST doesn’t stand a chance! SATAN is on our side! Asmodai and Mephisto: SATAN IS OUR HOMEBOY!!! ~”Mean” Gene gets his mike back~ Okerlund: All right, I’m getting out of here. Back to you guys! The shot cuts back to Triple C, staring blankly. COLE Well. That was odd. COACH I like these guys! They use words like "homeboy!" CABOOSE You disgust me. COACH HOLLA~! CABOOSE Ugh. COLE Let's take you to our next match. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, this tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. Your referee for this match...Charles Robinson. Charles smiles and gives the fans a wave... CUE: "Flip Reverse It", Blazin' Squad ...but the smile disappears as the Birmingham Bad Boyz make their entrance. Robinson tries not to look the BBB's way while at the same time, checking they're not looking at him. Only...they are. And they don't look very happy. BUFFER Introducing first. At a total combined weight of three hundred, ninety seven pounds...the team of Jamie O'Hara and Ryan Burgess... THE BIRMINGHAM... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADD BOOOOOOOOYYYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! The crowd boo as the BBB stride down the aisle. Burgess gets himself into an arguement at ringside while O'Hara rolls into the ring, staring over at Robinson. In rolls Burgess too, as Robinson cowers away, glancing momentarily at the BBB... O'HARA Oi! Wot you lookin' at!?! BURGESS You startin' sumthin'!?! ROBINSON *eep!* ...and quickly dives out of the ring as the Bad Boyz start to walk his way. As Robinson runs for cover behind Sofa Central, O'Hara goes to follow, but Burgess stops him with a hand on the shoulder. CUE: "Spirit In The Sky", Norman Greenbaum Which is just as well. The crowd cheer, as suddenly, James Blonde comes sprinting out of the entrance way and hits the ring. Funyon doesn't have time to talk and only just time to run, as Blonde slides in and gets jumped by the BBB!! Meanwhile, Faqu breaks into something resembling a jog. COLE Here we go! *DING DING DING!* Robinson emerges from behind the Sofa and calls for the bell. Blonde is paying for his impatience as Burgess and O'Hara stomp away on him in the middle of the ring. But Faqu finally reaches the ring and rolls in, clotheslining down O'Hara! And clotheslining down Burgess! And O'Hara again! And Burgess again! Referee Robinson finally feels safe enough to get back into the ring and slides in. Meanwhile, Faqu is a SAMOAN HOUSE OF FIRE!!! as he nails the BBB with a double clothesline and FIRES up the crowd!! O'Hara and Burgess are again up quickly but do little more than wobble on the spot, until Blonde gets to his feet, catching a Bad Boyz a-piece with each leg from a dropkick. Both O'Hara and Burgess stumble backwards and crash out of the ring, as Blonde high fives Faqu. COLE Wow! James Blonde and Faqu are on their game tonight! The Bad Boyz regroup on the floor, taken aback by Blonde and Faqu high tempo start. So taken aback in-fact, that they say 'to hell with this' and start to walk towards the back! Boos are thrown their way as they walk up the ramp... "ONE!" ...throwing their hands up in disgust... "TWO!" ...until O'Hara stops, turning to face Charles Robinson, who is counting them out. "THREE!" ...which O'Hara apparantly doesn't like, as he detours and runs back to the ring! Robinson quickly stops his count and runs to the opposite side of the ring, as the pissed off O'Hara chases after him...but gets intercepted, by a Blonde back body drop! O'Hara clutches his back as he stumbles over to Blonde. A boot to the gut is waiting, as Blonde hits the ropes and snaps O'Hara's head back with a running knee lift! O'Hara goes flying, Blonde scrambling behind to make the cover... 1... 2... Kickout. Blonde grabs O'Hara by the jeans, tagging in Faqu. Together, the OAOAST trainees grab and arm and whip MC Super Jay across the ring, catching him coming back with a double knee. O'Hara drops to one knee winded. But Faqu pulls him straight up, with a scoop and a slam. With a smile, the Samoan then stands over O'Hara, ready to squash the annoying chav like a bug. Bursting into the ring, Burgess runs over to save his partner... ...but Faqu backdrops him, right into his partner's gut... ...BEFORE SITTING OUT, SQUASHING O'HARA JUST FOR GOOD MEASURE!!! COLE DEATH BY SAMOAN!! COACH Anyone order pancakes? COLE This one is over! The Samoan doesn't go for a cover though. Instead, he stands up off of O'Hara, giving him chance to breathe again...as he tags in Blonde. CABOOSE Well, that was a stupid move. COLE I don't think Blonde and Faqu want to simply beat these two kids though 'Boose. They're out here to teach them a lesson in respect! Blonde grabs the convulsing O'Hara and pulls him to his feet, nailing him with a right hand. O'Hara slumps to his knees, but again Blonde pulls him back up and hits a right hand. And another. Another. Another! Another! Another! O'Hara is backed up against the ropes and is rocking and rolling on his feet, a loose guard up which is doing absolutely nothing. Stopping, Blonde wiiiiiiiiinds up...but doesn't nail a right hand. Instead, he pulls O'Hara off the ropes and into a full nelson, turning him to face Charles Robinson. And with a smile, Blonde encourages Robinson to take free shot! CABOOSE What the hell... Shaking his head, Robinson reminds Blonde he's a referee. But Blonde doesn't care, again telling Robinson to exact some revenge. "LET'S GO CHARLES! LET'S GO CHARLES! LET'S GO CHARLES!" The fans. The atmosphere. The moment. They're taking over Robinson! And he balls up his right fist... ...but he can't do it! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Aw, come on Charles! CABOOSE He can't hit him you idiot! If he does that, he'll have to disqualify Blonde and Ragu. COLE Faqu. CABOOSE No, fuck YOU! The disappointed Blonde tosses O'Hara aside to converse with Robinson. But as he does, Ryan Burgess has snuck into the ring and schoolboys Blonde up!! 1... 2... ROBINSON ...HEY! You're not the legal man!! Robinson stops the count and the crowd go BANANA~! As does Burgess, releasing the pinning cradle and grabbing Robinson by the collar! But Robinson is saved, as Faqu comes in from behind and clubs Burgess in the back. Out rolls Burgess, Faqu following behind. In the ring, Blonde is back up and grabs O'Hara, driving a knee into the gut and setting for a suplex. O'Hara floats over the back and lands on his feet, pushing Blonde off the ropes and catching him coming back with a jumping calf kick! Blonde is knocked loopy, but O'Hara is still hurt himself and can only make a makeshift cover... 1... 2... Kickout! Again Robinson is sent cowering as O'Hara gets up and swings for the scrawny ref, only to get grabbed in mid swing and schoolboyed by Blonde... 1... 2... Kickout! Both Blonde and O'Hara rush to their feet. A clothesline by Blonde is ducked and countered, O'Hara pulling the Canadian into a DDT. O'Hara then goes over to the corner and perches himself on the middle turnbuckle, crudely encouraging Blonde to get back up. Slowly he does, wandering in search of O'Hara and finding him, tumbling off the turnbuckles...but Blonde ducks, causing O'Hara to miss the Blockbuster! The cocky youngster manages to roll through and motions to the fans, before turning around... *SMACK!* ...and getting KOed with a superkick!! COLE Right on the button! Blonde knocked him out! O'Hara is out and Blonde knows it, but instead of going for the cover, Blonde hits the ropes...and gets tripped up by Burgess!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE Damn it...that should be a DQ right there! CABOOSE Considering what happened last time, I seriously doubt Robinson wants to DQ these kids for a second week running, do you? Bouncing face first off the canvas, Blonde rolls onto his back in his dazed condition. Quickly, Burgess rolls into the ring and just as Blonde did moments ago, hits the ropes...but just like Blonde, he gets tripped from the floor, this time by Faqu!! "YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" This time its Faqu the tripper, sliding into the ring. The bigman pulls Burgess up from the canvas and wraps his arms around his waist, setting him for a belly to belly suplex. Burgess pulls a double ear clap from out of nowhere though, breaking free and hitting a dropkick. Faqu stays on his feet, so Burgess takes a step back before hitting a second dropkick. Still Faqu is up though. So Burgess tries a different tactic, looking for an irish whip. Faqu reverses the whip though, sending Burgess into the ropes...and taking him off his feet with a hard shoulder block! Wasting no time, the bigman then hits the ropes and hits the big spla...NO! Burgess moves and Faqu crashes into the mat like a small building being demolished! Only...with less rubble. The winded Samoan pushes back up, as Burgess grabs James Blonde and tosses him over the top rope. COACH AUTOMATIC DQ!! CABOOSE What? Since when was this Smokey Mountain frikkin' Wrestling? Now Faqu is left alone with the Bad Boyz, who regroup in the centre of the ring and measure their opponent... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...hitting the Smack Ya Bitch Up... ...BUT FAQU NO SELLS THE TWO SUPERKICKS AND RRROOOOOOOAAAARRRSSSSS~!~!~!~! "YYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!" CABOOSE Oh, Jebus! COLE It's a scientific fact, Samoans have harder heads than any other race of human beings, ever! CABOOSE Well, THEY don't know that! You think they even WENT to school? The Birmingham Bad Boyz look shocked as Faqu beats his chest, calling on more. So they set again... *SMACK!* *SMACK!* ...hitting another Smack Ya Bitch Up... ...NO EFFECT!! COACH Uh oh! They done did it now! Faqu is still standing and quite frankly, the BBB don't have a clue what to do. So Burgess does the first thing that comes into his head...and PUNTS Faqu below the belt!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" ROBINSON Ring the bell! *DING DING DING!* COLE Robinson has no choice and for the second time in two matches, the Birmingham Bad Boyz have been DQed! But they're not done. Burgess starts to clubber Faqu as he doubles over holding his groin. Meanwhile, O'Hara rolls out of the ring and grabs James Blonde, irish whipping him shoulder first into the ringpost!! Blonde smacks off the steel and collapses backwards to groans from the crowd. With no remorse, O'Hara turns away from Blonde and grabs a steel chair from the announce table, before rolling into the ring with it. COLE Wait a damn minute here...this is getting out of hand here! CABOOSE And Robinson can't control these two kids. Especially when he's running from the ring, chased out by the chair weilding O'Hara. As Robinson runs for safety, the BBB now have Faqu alone in the ring. O'Hara re-adjusts the chair as Burgess grabs the big Samoan in a front facelock, turning him to the side... *CRACK!* ...AND ALLOWING O'HARA TO SMASH THE CHAIR INTO FAQU'S LEG!! COLE Oh my God, right to the knee!! Get someone out here!! *CRACK!* O'Hara nails Faqu a second time... *CRACK!* ...and a third, causing the now one legged Samoan to crumple to the mat like a rather large sack of potatoes. Faqu grabs his knee and groans in pain, boos filling the arena. With a sick smile, O'Hara opens up the chair and grabs Faqu's ankle, sitting it onto the chair and holding it down...as Burgess backs into a corner and climbs to the middle rope. COLE Oh no...no, they're going to break his leg! CABOOSE What do you want me to do about it!?! COLE Well...you saved Zack. CABOOSE Yeah, well, I'm not saving this idiot. As O'Hara reaches through the back of the chair and continues to hold Faqu's ankle in place, Burges stands up on the middle rope, flipping off Faqu...AND DOUBLE STOMPING FAQU RIGHT IN THE DAMN KNEE!!!! "OOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" COLE NOOO! Faqu's knee leg bends where Burgess' feet connect and the Samoan lets out a blood curdling howl. Before Burgess and O'Hara can do anything else, James Blonde suddenly rolls in, weilding a steel chair of his own and sending the BBB scurrying out of the ring. The damage has been done though, Faqu writhing in agony on the canvas clutching his leg. Blonde quickly drops down to check on his partner as the Bad Boyz make their leave, smiling at their handywork. COLE Faqu may be seriously injured here. What a sickening attack...an unprovoked attack. And those two degenerate punks need a dose of authority, because what happened tonight was ridiculous. CABOOSE Wah wah wah. Enhancement talent's a dime a dozen. COACH He's got a point. COLE ...I need a vacation. CABOOSE Not as much as Faqu does. COACH BA-ZING~! COLE ...commercial. ...please.

HeldDOWN is presented by OAOAST Entertainment. *^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^* OAOAST HeldDOWN~! The annoying, grating strains of Ashlee Simpson's LaLa play over the TV sets of America, for ANOTHER "one more week anyway." Dammit all. Our opening montage airs, highlighting the amazing athletic acrobatics you can only find here, as indicated by our flashy logo.... And we cut LIVE to the arena, at the State Fairgrounds in Indianapolis, Indiana! It's a packed house as the fair is open for one night only, and the atmosphere has the crowd buzzing! Fans scream holler, hold signs, and then cheer for the FIREWORKS.... COLE WELCOME TO HELDDOWN!!!!!! CABOOSE Every week I tell myself I'm going to quit. COLE You wouldn't want to quit this week! Folks, we are STACKED as we continue on the road to School's Out! We've got seven matches tonight, including the one everyone is talking about, Axel versus Hoff! COACH I know the Coach is excited, playa, and that ain't all we got! We've got Zack Malibu taking on Johnny "Jam" Jackson! COLE The battle of the old versus the new continues! Also tonight we've got the in-ring debut of Otaku II, we've got the X-TITLE on the line as The 70s Dude defends against Alfdogg! As well as the tag team champs, the New New Midnight Express, in action! But let's throw it down to the ring for our opening bout! "Frankensteiner" hits and the reaction is mixed when the Frankensteiners appear, making their way to the ring. Sporting sunglasses and tight black shorts with "69" in the crotch area and a comic-book style drawing of himself on the back squeezing the globe, Frank is accompained to the ring by his street clothes-clad older brother Frankie. COLE It was just two weeks ago that Frank told the world he and his brother are no longer looking for the approval of the fans, saying they can cheer however they want. Well, they're choosing to boo. The crowd ROARS. BOOM! Logan "Usher" Mann hits Frank in the back with a STEEL CHAIR, sending him rolling down the aisle and the fans into a frenzy. Before Frankie even has time to react Synth grabs him from behind and whallops him with a big right hand, no longer wearing the brace used after breaking his arm months back. The Synthmeister hammers Frankie against the guardrail with punishing right hands. With Frankie slumped against the railing, he removes Frankie's BELT AND WHIPS HIM ACROSS THE CHEST AND BACK! The Pyscho Gremlin, still being whipped, walks past Logan and Frank, who is RAMMED HEAD-FIRST INTO THE RING STEPS. COLE It's happening again, guys! Another chaotic brawl between these two teams. We were scheduled to have Frank Frankensteiner versus Logan Mann in a one-on-one match, but things have obviously changed. Nobody understands the animosity between the Heavenly Rockers and Frankensteiners, they skirt the issue whenever it's brought up, but in my judgement, it's the Frankensteiners who habor ill-will towards Synth and Logan. Personally, despite their quasi--denoucement a couple weeks back, I firmly believe the Frankensteiners are aligned with Jim Cornette Enterprises. Cornette vowed revenge on the Heavenly Rockers, and who better... COACH Than Kanyon? COLE (CONT'D) ...to do the job than the hard-hitting, smashmouth in-your-face suplex machines out of Oklahoma. Or as good ol' J.R. liked to call them when we spoke a few days ago, the Sooner Brusiers. In the ring, Frank reverses an Irish whip attempt and brings Logan in towards him, wrapping his massives arms around the much smaller Mann and planting him into the canvas with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX. One, two, th--kickout! Frank uses Mann's head to pick him back up, clubbering the back with a massive forearm shot before DOUBLE UNDERHOOKING the arms. Sneering and cursing at the hostile crowd Frank ensures he has Logan positioned to his liking. TIGER DRIVER... ....COUNTERED INTO A HURRICARANA! ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO! Frank kicks out with a venageance, immediately rising back to his feet and leveling Logan with a vicious STEINERLINE. Frank twirls his index finger in the air, shouting "That's it!" He whips Logan to the ropes and leaps off his feet, wrapping his legs around Logan's head as he (Mann) ricochets back towards him. FRANKENSTEI-- NO, POWERBOMB! Logan countered the Frankensteiner into a sit-out powerbomb. Referee Nick Patrick goes to count. ONE... TWO... THRE-- NO, SHOULDER UP! Frank just got the shoulder up as Nick's hand was coming down for 3. Logan scoopes the Man of Tomorrow up and slams him near the corner. He climbs up to the top turnbuckle, just as the brawl outside between Synth and Frankie spills into the ring. Nick Patrick tries to get both men out of the ring, but he moves out of the way as Logan comes off the top with a MOONSAULT, HITTING BOTH SYNTH AND FRANKIE, ALL 3 MEN LANDING ON TOP OF FRANK! * DING DING DING DING * BOOOOOOOOOO! Logan pounds the side of Frankie's rough, beared face from his knees with lefts. The Heavenly Rockers send Frankie into the ropes. DOUBLE BACKDROP. Frank pulls himself back up with an assist from the top rope. DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE OVER THE TOP! The Heavenly Rockers turn around and duck under a clothesline by Frank. They both stun him with a quick strike to the midsection and set him up for DOUBLE PERCUSSION, but the Man of Tomorrow shows a tremendous amount of strength and BACKDROPS BOTH ROCKERS! OAOAST officials storm the ring and tackle Frank, driving him into the corner to keep him as far away from the Heavenly Rockers. Surrounded by dozen of officials doesn't stop the finger gesturing, cussing Frank from trying to break free. Frankie is quickly surrounded himself when he re-enters the ring. Luckily for the officials, Frankie walks over to his brother instead of trying to cause more trouble. The Frankensteiners and Heavenly Rockers stare each other down admist a load of security. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has ruled this bout a double disqualification. BOOOOOOOOOO! COLE The fans aren't -- understandably -- happy with the decision to stop the match, but it's a good call. It's out of control. As it usually is with these two teams. Fans, I'm being told through my headset that we'll have an announcement concerning the Frankensteiners and Heavenly Rockers next week. COACH Well, apparently, Josie's handing down a pretty major announcement right now! We're treated to a shot of HeldDown General Manager Josie Baker, which entices a sizeable pop from the crowd. The camera pans out, and we see one person on either side of her, the challenger to the OAOAST Championship at School’s Out Crystal on the one side, and the reigning champion, Axel, on the other. JOSIE Now, I don’t want any trouble between you two in my office. Just remember, I can suspend you in a second. And don’t think just because you’re like a brother that I won’t do that to you Axel. CRYSTAL Cut to the chase, girly. JOSIE Well, I decided earlier today that your singles match at School’s Out, well, it really wasn’t going to cut the mustard as a normal contest. You’ve had many of those before. I think we need to settle this once and for all. So, I have decided to make your OAOAST Championship match at School’s Out… …A LADDER match. The crowd pop at this huge announcement, and the two wrestlers give their retorts to Josie’s comments. CRYSTAL That’s fine. Adam, you know you got lucky at Mania. I beat you last week, and I’ll beat you again in ten days. This ladder stip? It’ll just make my victory that much sweeter, as I climb the ladder, and grasp the OAOAST Championship, MY OAOAST Championship, in my hands, with you lying below me in a puddle of your own blood. Oh, and good luck against your little super best friend tonight. AXEL So confident and cocky Crys, and you really think my Mania victory was a fluke? Well Josie, I’m glad you changed the stip, because a ladder match also means no disqualifications, no count outs, no pinfalls, no submissions. You know that that means Crystal? That means you can bring anything, and anybody you want. Go ahead, bring Gunner. Bring a sledgehammer, bring a damn gun if you want to, it won’t make a lick of difference, because after School’s Out, you will never want to step into the ring again… because I’m gonna eat you alive. Oh, and Crystal, sit back and enjoy my match with Hoff. Thanks Jose. Axel leaves the room, leaving a seething Crystal staring death at the champion, and muttering “I can’t wait until you and Hoff destroy each other later…” COLE Oh my God! Axel versus Crystal has just been made a LADDER MATCH! What a night, and we're just getting started! Don't go anywhere! We'll be back!

- Nice arrogance from the GPX. - I'm not a huge fan of the Sk8er Bois, but it was nice to see a new team get a win. - Not everything has to be flash and dazzle, and I liked Otaku II's debut promo. It has to lead somewhere, though. We shall see. - Bohemoth looked real good in his debut, but I wonder if it's wise to have him outshine "the boss" so soon. I really like these guys' characters, though. - BBB wasn't a bad match, although again I'm not so into these characters personally, but the more the merrier. The rants on the letter Z and which Conquistador is which had me laughing, though. - gr0ss stuff w/Blonde, Faqu, and Robinson. - The Docs kind of defy the odds a bit, and I'm getting into them a bit more this way, as opposed to them being overly dominant...not that they were, but I'm just saying I like the direction. - I liked the old people promo, but I have to agree with FM, it likely wouldn't have been so peaceful. - Hot match with a hot ending between CWM and Scotty. - Alf vs. the Dude should be good. Thanks to everyone who left me feedback; it hasn't gone unnoted.

Folks, we're having some technical difficulties, so bear with us.

Everything to me by the normal time, kids.

The show will be held in the Pepsi Coliseum at the Indiana State Fair. The fair will be in town for a special occasion during this event, so feel free to use that to your advantage, or not.

No worries. It's easy to get caught up in the excitement of your own debut. And, feel free to add more, but what you said was more than enough, and some people could stand to learn from your example. *wonders when he's gonna get called on not leaving feedback this week yet*

Papa, you're always welcome here. Anyway, I'll read these when I can devote more attention to them, like when I don't have six IMs open at once.

'Tis generally the practice to write your own intros.

Moi.

Indeed. It was very cool. Taking off the shirt midway through was very effective. New guy gets feedback first; more for YOU lot when I'm not getting ready for work.

LIVE from Indianapolis, Indiana. Hoff vs. Axel X-Title Match: The 70s Dude vs. Alfdogg Zack Malibu vs. Johnny Jax Team Otaku vs. Satan's Foot Soldiers Frank Frankensteiner vs. Logan "Usher" Mann The Birmingham Bad Boyz vs. James Blonde and Faqu Jay Richards' tryout match We'll hear from PK We'll hear from the Lightning Crew "Something" from CWM A possible Love Doctors match or segment

It was pretty good. More to come.

© 2005 OAOAST Inc./HeldDOWN Entertainment CREDITS Hoff Zack Malibu CWM Nice Guy Adam CanadianChick Alfdogg The #1 MST3K Mark Tony149 Masked Man of Mystery King Cucaracha Mystery Eskimo FailedMascot

COLE Ladies and gentlemen, we have come to our main even this evening: Hoff and Axel versus Crystal and Gunner Sharps. Let's take you through how this one came to be. COACH Well, it all started earlier this evening, when Hoff had a different partner, Igor Stoyanovich! COLE Hoff and Igor were set to take on Crystal and Gunner, but our general manager Josie decided the match needed a special guest referee -- Axel! CABOOSE Right, and to no one's surprise Axel screwed Crystal and Gunner. COLE Axel may or may not have been responsible for Igor getting a quick three-count on the Female Phenom. Either way, the decision left the dastardly duo enraged, and in their anger they challenged Hoff and Axel to the match those two wanted all along! COACH Right, but there's a catch to this one. Whichever team loses, next week, has to fight each other! COLE The stakes are high. The emotions are high. A lot on the line, and it happens...right now! *ding ding ding* FINK The following contest is scheduled for one fall! Howard Finkel stands in the ring with a microphone. The house lights go down as Muse's "Plug in Baby" echoes over the arena speakers. The fans boo as the hated duo of Gunner Sharps and the Crown Jewel, Crystal, make their way down the aisle. FINK Making their way down the aisle, at a combined weight of 525 pounds, the team of CRYSTAL and GUNNER SHARPS!!!! Crystal and Gunner largely ignore the jeering fans as they talk strategy on their way to the ring. One fan reaches out to poke Gunner with a posterboard sign, and Gunner grabs the kid's sign and rips it in half. Gunner laughs as he and Crystal hit the ring. Gunner climbs a corner and throws both arms into the air, while Crystal looks out over the fans arrogantly, smirking. COLE Not a popular duo. Crystal's theme dies down, replaced by Chevelle's "The Clincher" toa MONSTROUS reaction! FINK And their opponents! First, from Minneapolis, Minnesota, weighing in at 275 pounds.......HOFF!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! Fireworks explode as Hoff steps out to a standing ovation. Hoff stands on the top of the ramp, looking out over the fans, then throwing a fist into the air! Hoff lets our a roar, driving the fans into a frenzy, before heading halfway down the aisle...and stopping, shaking his head. Hoff smirks at his foes, then turns his head back and ponts to the entranceway.... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM~! COLE Wow! FINK And his partner, from Hobart, Tasmania, Australia, weighing in at 255 pounds...he is the OAOAST Heavyweight Champion of the World....AX-EL!! "Eat You Alive" plays as the champ enters the arena to an ENORMOUS reaction, the fans cheering their lungs out. Ominous in his long trenchcoat, Axel looks left, looks right, and... BOOM! hits the crucifix pose to another round of cheers. Hoff smiles, nodding, and Axel meets him on the ramp, before the two charge the ring! Gunner and Crystal stand in their corner, patiently, as the two fan favorites slide in the ring. The each hit a near corner, Hoff standng on the second and thrid ropes and thowing a fist into the air, Axel unstrapping the OAOAST World Title and holding it high overhead. The flashbulbs fire until the heroes hop off the corners, meeting referee Mike Chioda in the center of the ring. Axel hands Chioda his title belt, as the official calls Crystal and Gunner to him to go over the rules. COLE These two teams have very bad blood. Neither Hoff nor Axel like Crystal or Gunner. The same holds true going the opposite direction. There's a lot of history in that ring. Axel and Crystal need no explanation. Axel and Gunner were former best friends, driven apart by a woman. Hoff beat Crystal to win his first OAOAST Title. Crystal beat Hoff last month to win her shot at that title. Hoff and Gunner have never, ever, ever liked each other. Coming up together in the Underground. Hoff breaking the back of AJ Flaire, the fourth man of the once proud Bleeding Souls. The other three stand in that ring, ready to war. COACH Good speech, Mikey! CABOOSE Surprisingly so. COLE Thank you. Chioda finishes his explanations and sends the combatants to their corners. He hands the World Title to the timekeeper, and calls for the bell! *ding ding ding* Axel and Gunner step onto their respective corners, leaving Hoff and Crystal in the ring. The two technically-savvy grapplers circle, looking for a weakness. COLE So we start off with a rematch from Living Anglelously, and you have to ask, after all the wars Hoff and Crystal have had, how well do they know each other? CABOOSE Very well, I'm sure. Don't forget, in addition to their singles bouts, these two have been on opposite sides in many tag teams, for years now. They know each other's styles, and it's now simply a game of looking for an opening, looking for the other to make a mistake. Now, my money says that'll be Hoff. Hoff darts in to grab Crystal for a lock-up, but the Female Phenom skirts away. Crystal and Hoff circle, then finally come together in a collar-and-elbow tie-up. Hoff pushes Crystal back a step, but Crystal quickly twists her body, tripping Hoff with a modified drop toe hold. Hoff hits the mat, and Crystal quickly applies a hammerlock! Hoff pounds his fist on the mat in frustration, but Crystal stops any momentum he might have with a well-placed knee to the back. Hoff, though, is able to fight up to his feet! Crystal torques Hoff's arm with the hammerlock, but the fans cheer as Hoff throws a back elbow to Crystal's face, dazing her! Hoff turns his body through the hammerlock, escaping, and he takes Crystal down with a drop toe hold of his own! Crystal hits the mat, and Hoff quickly applies his own hammerlock! The fans applaud the sequence. COLE Solid mat wrestling, which is what we have come to expect from these two. Crystal tries to twist out of the hold while on the mat, but Hoff copies her tactic from earlier and drives his big knee into the small of her back. Crystal, though, is able to fight up while still in the hold. Crystal gets to her feet...and Hoff grabs her head from behind and the fans get to their feet!! Hoff shouts "THIS IS IT!" and reaches down to lift Crystal up... COLE FUTURE SHOCK! CABOOSE NO! Crystal, though, stops Hoff's attempt by punching him in the head. Crystal, still in Hoff's grasp, twists so that she's facing Hoff, and drops him with a double-leg takedown...and tries to turn him over!! COLE CRYSTALLING!! Crystal struggles with Hoff's legs...but the big man kicks her away! The fans cheer as Crystal staggers back. Hoff rolls to his knees, then hits his feet as Crystal charges at him...and takes her DOWN with a headlock takeover!! Crystal lands hard on the mat, and Hoff keeps the side headlock applied, cinching in to the cheers of the fans. COLE Both Hoff and Crystal tried to end it early, but neither one could hit their move! CABOOSE Now it's back to basics. Crystal somersaults backwards in an impressive display, rolling through and out of the headlock by Hoff. Crystal lands on her knees, and gets to her feet before Hoff. Hoff gets up, and Crystal meets him with a kick to the midsection. Hoff doubles over, and Crystal darts behind him, hooking him in a rear waistlock! Crystal tries to throw Hoff over for a German suplex, but the big man blocks the move, hooking his boot around Crystal's calf! Hoff breaks Crystal's grip and pulls a standng switch, but Crystal kicks her legs up behind her and rolls forward, hooking Hoff in a modified victory roll! Chioda counts, but Hoff breaks free at two! Both competitors roll to their feet! Hoff charges forward, throwing a vicious lariat, but Crystal ducks under the move! Hoff turns to face her, and eats a BEAUTIFUL spinning wheel kick! Hoff hits the mat, and the Crown Jewel quickly makes the tag to Gunner Sharps. CABOOSE Oh, here we go. Yeah, baby, yeah. COACH Shagadelic, Caboose! CABOOSE Quiet. The fans let Gunner have it as he steps over the top rope and into the ring, looking cocky and confident as Hoff gets back to his feet. Gunner pulls his rival up the rest of the way, and nails him with a big fist to the forehead. Hoff reels, and Gunner grabs him, whipping him into the ropes! Hoff comes bounding off...right into a BIG BOOT! Hoff crumples to the canvas, and Gunner kicks him onto his back and places a boot on Hoff's chest. Chioda counts, but Hoff rolls away at two. COLE Gunner Sharps is awfully arrogant for a man who got BEAT by Hoff only a month ago! CABOOSE The past, Cole, all the past. Gunner laughs as he stalks over to Hoff, picking the fan favorite up off the mat and violently whipping him into the corner. Hoff hits with a sick thud, and Gunner charges in, but Hoff grabs the top rope and kicks both his feet up into the air! Gunner runs smack into BOTH of Hoff's boots, and reels back, grabbing his face. The fans cheer as Hoff comes stomping out of the corner, spinning Gunner around and grabbing him by the legs. Hoff lifts Gunner up, and drops him groin-first across his knee with an inverted atomic drop! Gunner forgets about his face, grabbing his crotch in bug-eyed pain. With an angry look, Hoff rears back and FLOORS gunner with a HUGE standing lariat. Gunner hits the mat, and Hoff looks out over the crowd with a smile...before tagging in Axel!! COLE Here comes the champ! The fans cheer as Axel steps into the ring! Hoff heads to the apron as Axel stalks his prey, waiting for the groggy Gunner to find his feet. Gunner gets up, and Axel whips him off the ropes, then leaps HIGH into the air and catches Gunner with a nice Harlem Sidekick! Gunner hits the mat, and Axel makes a quick cover...but Gunner gets out at two! COACH Gunner's taking some punishment. He needs a tag! COLE You have to remember, even though Gunner and Crystal are allied, they're not used to teaming together. Axel pulls his former friend up, and rocks him with a big right hand. Axel throws another, and Gunner reels. Axel throws a third, but Gunner blocks it and drives a knee into Axel's ribs! The fans boo as Gunner grabs Axel, scoops him, and lifts him WAY up high before bodyslamming him to the mat! Axel's back arches as the champ reels in pain. Gunner lets Axel feel it for a bit, then reaches down with both hands and pulls Axel up by the hair. Chioda warns the seven-footer, but Gunner ignores the official. Gunner scoops Axel again, and this time drops him rib-first across his knee! Axel falls to the mat, holding his midsection as Gunner laughs...and Crystal calls for the tag. COLE Oh, sure now that Axel is hurting she wants in. If he was fresh, she wouldn't want any part of him! CABOOSE Nah, Crystal's wanted in all along. She can't wait to get her hands on Axel! COLE Yeah, right. Gunner grabs Axel again by the hair, prompting a sterner warning from referee Chioda. Gunner pushes him away, then tags Crystal into the match. Gunner grabs Axel's arm and lifts it, exposing his midsection, and Crystal snaps off a sharp kick to the ribs. Axel audibly groans in pain as he falls to his hands and knees, prompting a round of boos from the audience. COACH Looks like Gunner and Crystal have a strategy! Crystal walks around the fallen Axel, laughing. Axel gets to one kee, and Crystal puts her hand on his shoulder, leaning over and taunting her former beau. Crystal, six inches from his face, blows Axel a kiss..and Axel NAILS her with a big right hand! COLE Whoa! The fans come to life as Axel borrows a page from his teammate's playbook, hammering away at Crystal with vicious right hands! Crystal tries to block, throwing her hands up, but Axel pours on the punishment, driving Crystal into the ropes! Axel whips Crystal off the strands, Crystal comes running off the far side, but the Female Phenom leaps onto Axel's shoulders! Crystal takes Axel over with a-- NO! Axel holds on, and drops Crystal with a sit-out powerbomb! Axel keeps Crystal hooked and Chioda starts his count! ONE! TWO! THR-NO! Crystal kicks Axel in the head and breaks free, rolling away. Axel gets to his feet and styomps toward Crystal, who scurries backwards to a neutral corner. Axel follows her in, but Crystal stops him with a boot to the midsection! Axel doubles, and Crystal steps out of the corner...and Axel BLASTS her with a big uppercut blow! Crystal slumps into the corner, and Axel lifts her onto the second strand! COLE Looks like Axel's going to elevate this match with something high-risk! Axel follows Crystal up, climbing to the second rope. Axel lifts Crystal up to the top rope, but Crystal regains her senses and STINGS him with a knife-edge chop! Axel reels, and Crystal pushes him off the ropes! Axel lands on his back, and Crystal steadies herself on the top! CABOOSE Crystal turning the tables on Axel! That's why it's called a high-risk maneuver! Axel slowly gets to his feet, and Crystal dives off the top with a missile dropkick! Crystal catches Axel square in the jaw, sending him to the mat! Crystal lands and crawls over to Axel, hooking his leg! Chioda counts! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! Axel barely gets the shoulder up! COACH Now it's Axel who needs a tag! Hoff reaches over the ropes, stretching his arm out, but it's no use as Crystal pulls him over to their corner. Crystal reaches out, and tags in her confidant, Gunner Sharps. Gunner laughs arrogantly as he trades places with the Crown Jewel, laying in a few stomps to Axel. "AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL! AX-EL!" Gunner shoots a glare at Hoff, who is slapping the turnbuckle and waving the fans up. The crowd pours on the noise, trying to will Axel back into it, but Gunner quelches that by picking Axel up, kicking him in the ribs, and lifting him up for a gutwrench suplex...then dropping him across his knee! COACH DAYUM~! COLE An innovative maneuver by the huge Gunner Sharps! Cover! Gunner does make the cover, but the World Champion kicks out at two. Gunner gets up slowly, pondering his next move as Axel lies on the mat in pain. Gunner paces around his old friend, looking partially angry, partially in thought. COACH Gunner always seems so pissed off! CABOOSE I love it. Finally, Gunner picks Axel up off the mat, then scoops him and sets the champion upon his shoulder. Gunner walks to a neutral corner, and with a yell charges forward...but Axel slides off of his shoulder! Axel lands behind Gunner and pushes him into the corner! The fans cheer as Gunner hits the buckle chest-first and staggers backward...right into a fireman's carry!! The fans come ALIVE! Using all his strength, Axel hoists Gunner on his shoulders...but Gunner slips off! Gunner lands on the mat, and rolls to the outside! Axel heads to his corner and reaches out to tag-- NO! Gunner YANKS Hoff off the apron! The fans get irate as Hoff's jaw hits the edge of the ring, and the big man falls to the outside. Gunner smiles...until Axel slides out of the ring!! The fans go crazy as Axel spins Gunner around and BLASTS him with a big right hand! Axel starts pounding away at Gunner, driving him to the guardrail! Chioda slides out of the ring, trying to break the two up, but Crystal comes dashing around the ring! Crystal pulls Chioda away, and the two fiends start double-teaming Axel! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" Crystal and Gunner start kicking at Axel...until Hoff gets to his feet and yanks Gunner off of his partner! Hoff nails Gunner with a clubberin' right hand, and another, and then THROWS Gunner into the steel ringpost! Gunner hits with a *CLANG* and reels back, and Hoff grabs him from behind and slides him into the ring! Hoff follows him into the squared circle! CABOOSE He's not the legal man! COLE The referee isn't even in the ring, Caboose! Chioda is busy trying to pry a brawling Axel and Crystal off of each other as, meanwhile, Hoff pulls Gunner to his feet! The fans cheer as Hoff whips Gunner off the ropes, and sets for the SPINEBUSTER~, but Gunner puts on the brakes and kicks Hoff in the midsection! Gunner grabs Hoff and puts him in a standing headscissors, and slashes his arms! CABOOSE YEAH! This is IT! COLE Gunner looking for All Guns Blazing! Gunner hoists Hoff up, lifting him onto his back, and runs forward...but Hoff slips off of Gunner's back and lands behind him!! Gunner turns around...RIGHT INTO A ROCK BOTTOM! CABOOSE NO!!!! COLE This is what we saw last week during Hoff's International Amnesty Exhibition! History repeats itself! CABOOSE Oh, no....Gunner, get away! Hoff pops up after delivering the Rock Bottom...and grabs Gunner's ankle! The fans ERUPT as Hoff turns Gunner over and applies the ANKLELOCK!! Gunner taps like a madman, but the ref is still on the outside!! CABOOSE There's no ref, Hoff isn't the legal man...this is ALL WRONG!! Crystal, spying what's taking place in-ring, shoves Axel away and charges into the ring! Crystal runs at Hoff, but Hoff sucks a clothesline! Hoff lets go of Gunner's ankle and turns around, grabbing a surprised Crystal by the waist and flinging her overhead with a belly-to-belly suplex!! Crystal lands hard and rolls out of the ring! The fans cheer as Chioda slides into the ring and orders Hoff onto the apron! Hoff exits the ring. Meanwhile, Crystal heads back to her corner, Gunner hobbles up, and Axel slides into the ring! COLE And we pick up right where we left off! CABOOSE Plus one anklelock! Hoff oughta be disqualified! Axel grabs Gunner with a front facelock, but Gunner charges forward and drives Axel into the corner! Gunner stands up and starts driving his knee into the champ's midsection! Gunner pulls away and grabs Axel, looking for an Irish whip, but Axel reverses. Gunner hits the corner back-first, and Axel charges in, but Gunner stops him in his tracks with a SPEAR~! COLE SHARP END! The Sharp End from Gunner to the heavyweight champion! What's gonna happen next! Too tired to make a cover, Gunner lies prone on the mat for a moment before slowly crawling to his corner! Axel, meanwhile, slowly regains his bearings and does the same, looking for Hoff! COACH It's a race to tag! Both Axel and Gunner get close...and it's Gunner who tags first, sending Crystal into the ring! Axel lunges--NO! Crystal grabs his boot and pulls him away from Hoff's outstretched arm! The fans jeer as Crystal turns Axel over, looking for the Crystalling...but Axel kicks her away! Axel rolls to all fours, and Crystal dashes toward him...but Axel LEAPS and makes the tag to Hoff! "YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!" COACH Oh, snap! Hoff comes in HOUSE AFIRE, flooring Crystal with a HUGE right hand! Crystal gets up and Hoff knocks her back down! Crystal up, and right back to the mat! Crystal comes up slow, and Hoff hits her! BAM! BAM! BAM!! RIght hand after right hand after right hand! Hoff grabs Crystal, whips her into the ropes, and catches her with a HIGH back bodydrop! Crystal soars into the air, then lands with a sick thud! Crystal, disoriented, tries to get up, but falls back to the mat! She comes up again, and Hoff pulls her up the rest of the way, grabbing her in a front face lock and hooking her outside leg...and Hoff snaps her over with a PERFECTPLEX!! ONE!! TWO!! THR-NO, as Crystal breaks the bridge! Hoff rolls to his feet, pulling the Female Phenom up with him. Hoff grabs Crystal and presses her high overhead! COLE What power! Hoff is-- HEY WAIT! Hoff, holding Crystal, turns...RIGHT INTO A SPEAR FROM GUNNER SHARPS!! Hoff falls and Crystal lands on top of him! COLE Come on! Not like this! Chioda makes his count! ONE! TWO! THREE-NO~! Hoff barely kicks out at the last second!! Chioda ushers a smiling Gunner out of the ring, while Crystal gets to her feet! Crystal drags Hoff to the center of the ring...then heads for the ropes! The former champ jumps once, twice, DIAMOND IN THE-NO!! Hoff gets his knees up and Crystal drives herself into them!! Crystal rolls off, holding her ribs, and Hoff crawls to Axel and MAKES THE TAG! The fans go ballistic as the World Champ hits the ring! COLE Axel has a chance to put it all away here!! Hoff rolls all the way to the floor as Axel stands behind Crystal, and FLASHES THE CRUCIFIX POSE as the Crown Jewel gets to her feet! Crystal turns around, and Axel scoops her up into a reverse fireman's carry! Axel turns...and puts Crystal down as Gunner heads into the ring again! COLE Come on, control him! CABOOSE You can't control a wild animal! Chioda holds Gunner back as he tries to get through the ropes...but Axel heads to the corner, reaches over Chioda's back, and NAILS Gunner with a huge right hand that sends the seven-footer off the apron and to the arena floor! The fans cheer--but the cheers turn to boos as Crystal sneaks up behind Axel and NAILS him with a LOW BLOW! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" COACH Aw, that's cold, son! COLE And Chioda didn't see a thing!! Axel staggers, blinded with pain, as Crystal stands up and scoops him with a fireman's carry! Crystal lifts Axel up...and drops him with his OWN Axel Slam!! The fans drown out the arena with their displeasure as Crystal rolls Axel over and hooks his leg! ONE! TWO! THREE!!! *ding ding ding* CABOOSE What a victory! "Plug In Baby" hits as Crystal gets to her feet. FINK The winners of this bout....CRYS-TAL and GUNNER SHAAAAARPS!!!! Chioda raises Crystal's hand. Gunner slides into the ring, shoving the ref away and raising her hand himself. COLE Well it took a low blow, and Axel's own finisher, but Crystal and Gunner Sharps pulled it out tonight. COACH Wait, do you know what this means? This means next week we're gonna see...we're gonna see Hoff versus Axel! COLE Axel against Hoff, next week! Oh, my! CABOOSE Oh, yeah, that's right. Next week the two bozos take each other apart! I can't wait. Gunner holds the ropes for the triumphant Crystal, allowing the Crown Jewel to exit the ring. Gunner follows her, and the duo walk up the ramp, holding their arms in the air. Meanwhile, Hoff slides into the ring, checking on Axel's condition. CABOOSE Oh yeah, you're real concerned for him now, but let's see how you feel next week! Hoff and Chioda help the champ to his feet, and Axel looks at Hoff. The two men's eyes lock, and each takes a step back, staring at each other. COLE Folks, what a night it has been, and there you see the results. Next week, live on HeldDOWN, it will be Axel...versus Hoff. The two fan favorites stare each other down, neither man moving, as we....... FADE TO BLACK

"In a world full of poser, phonies, and pure wannabes..." BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! For the first time ever, the introduction to O-Town's "Make Her Say" draws boos from the fans of OAOAST wrestling, as HeldDOWN~! comes back from commercial and gets right back into the swing of things with what promises to be a most interesting matchup. Scotty Static and Johnny Jackson come out from the back, their usual jovial bopping and fan interaction replaced by cocky, full of themselves smirks. While Jackson is still clad in street gear, Static is decked out in new baggy cargo tights and a tight, sleeveless shirt. The two young superstars hit the ring, and when they hit their prematch taunt and pose, they act shocked at the fan response. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Coming down the aisle, accompanied by Johnny "Jam" Jackson, he hails from HOTlanta, GA. Weighing in tonight at 192lbs., this is SCOTTTTTTEEEEE STAAAAAATIIIIIIIC! COLE Two great athletes for sure, but what a change in attitude for the GPX lately. After going AWOL for a few weeks, they returned with a vengeance...literally...last week at the end of our program. CABOOSE We've seen these guys all over the show tonight, and they're not meshing well backstage with anyone, with the exception of Crystal, who seemed to enjoy what they did. These guys are making a big mistake by demanding respect from the Originals, rather than earning it. COACH If you ask them, they say they earned it last week when they punked your boys and Black T out. CABOOSE It took some balls to go out there and pound on four guys...four of the top guys in the world today. It takes an even greater man to do it face to face. Right now the GPX are looking for the low road, and if they're not careful, they're gonna crash and burn. Static and Jackson give each other daps, and Jackson ducks through the ropes and positions himself at ringside, while Nirvana's "You Know You're Right" hits, and rather than the usual backlash upon hearing the song, a more mixed reaction welcomes one of the OAOAST's original superstars. COLE Love him or hate him, he's got that company pride flowing through his veins...look out Scotty Static! Buffer can't even belt out the intro, as CWM has charged the ring, prompting Static to slide out to the floor and avoid the oncoming assault! The angered veteran superstar stalks the ring, urging Static to get back in the ring, but Static and Jackson don't like the look in the eyes of CWM, and start to retreat from ringside, back up the aisleway! CABOOSE There's an example of what I said earlier! They aren't capable of taking their frustations out face to face! Static and Jackson back up, eyeing CWM and mockingly waving "bye bye" to him...until "Quiet" hits and the crowd EXPLODES!?!?!? COLE Well, I never thought I'd see the day. Tony Brannigan and Dan Black come out to the shockingly warm reception, due to the newfound disliking of the Global Party Exchange. Static and Jackson's jaws drop when they turn to see their old rivals come down the aisle slowly, forcing them back towards ringside...and CWM slides out of the ring and takes Static, rolling him into the ring to get the match going! DING! DING! Mike Chioda calls for the bell, and immediately Static begs off, backing into a corner and calling for CWM's forgiveness. CWM moves in closer, and Static bursts forward, raking the eyes, then charges out...only to get bieled across the ring with a hiptoss from CWM! Static gets up, only to get sent back to the canvas with a running lariat! CWM pulls him up and backs him into the ropes, whipping him to the other side...but Scotty reverses it, sending CWM for the ride! He drops his head, looking to toss CWM over his back, but CWM puts on the brakes, kicks his head up, then grabs him for a POLLYCUTTER...NO! CWM gets shoved into the ropes, and Static busts out a huracanrana to take him over! Both men get up quickly, and Static hits a running knee into CWM's stomach to double him over, then hits the ropes again...only to be caught trying whatever he was about to try and driven down onto his back with a Boss Man Slam! CWM tries for a pin, but Static quickly does a logroll out of the ring and into the waiting arms of his partner, avoiding any further contact with the Original Elite member. COLE These guys are working a complete 180 from their usual style. We're used to fast paced starts and all out aerial assaults from these two, and now it looks like Static would rather be anywhere else than in that ring! COACH Would YOU wanna be in the ring with an angry CWM? Static is consoled by Jackson, who snaps at Chioda when he sticks his head through the ropes to tell Scotty to return to the ring. Jackson mouths off, saying "give him a minute", but a minute is too long, as Chioda instead chooses to give him until the count of ten! Chioda gets as far as two, and the crowd suddenly starts CHANTING three familiar initials, although instead of GPX, it's CWM! CABOOSE This is surreal. Even I find myself rooting for the bastard tonight. Static stomps his feet in anger, and Jackson covers his ears. Frustrated by the crowd's choice of favorite, Static throws his partners hands off his ears and slides back into the ring, getting to his feet and calling CWM on! CWM rushes forward, but immediately Scotty backsteps towards the ropes, sticking his upper body through the ropes so that CWM can't get him and has to be backed away by Chioda. Static, seeing the ref back his opponent up, then comes over and lunges over the ref's shoulders, drilling CWM in the cheek with a sucker shot! CWM, never one to take any shit, tosses Chioda aside and moves for Static, who tries to back away...then falls facefirst on the ringmat, as Tony Brannigan reaches in and pulls his foot out from under him! The crowd actually cheers the heelish tactic, and cheer even further when CWM takes Scotty by the frosted tips of his hair and tugs on it, bringing him up as he smashes a fist into his temple. Scotty reels back against the ropes and CWM unloads with two chops, cracking the sternum of the young superstar. Static then gets sent to the far side, rebounding back towards CWM with a head of steam, only to get elevated up in the air and come crashing down hard via back bodydrop! Static is hurting, and the hurt continues, as CWM pulls him up and stuns him with an atomic drop, then runs the ropes and comes right at Static, hitting him with a lariat that spins him inside out! CWM then lays him flat and hits the ropes, coming off with a huge legdrop, and goes for the cover on the former OAOAST Tag Team Champion! ONE! TWO! KICKOUT! COLE This match has been all CWM, and if it continues at that rate, the GPX may not make it to School's Out! COACH Static's being schooled right now though. Holla! CWM picks Scotty up, but Static shoves him away, into the corner. Scotty then charges in, eating boot when he does, and CWM hops up onto the middle turnbuckle, leaping off and grabbing Static's head, bringing it down with a bull...NO! Scotty slips his head out of the grasp of the OAOAST icon and lets him land hard on the canvas! CWM sits up, but Static leaps over his body, snapping his neck forward with a rolling snapmare, then turns around and blasts CWM in the chin with a basement dropkick! Static then ducks out of the ring, but this time it's not out of cowardice...he's decided to climb the ropes. He readies himself on the top turnbuckle, waiting for the right moment to strike...and leaps off, soaring down upon CWM with a graceful bodypress that would make Ricky Steamboat proud...ONLY CWM ROLLS THROUGH WITH IT! ONE! TWO! Static kicks out, but Jackson was ready to slide into the ring if he had to, and Chioda caught it. He runs over to make sure Johnny Jax stays put, and when CWM brings Scotty up, he's struck with a low blow! Dan Black jumps on the apron and tries to come in, but Chioda has turned around and sees this, rushing over to make sure HE doesn't interfere...which leaves an opening for the GPX, as Jackson springboards off the ropes and comes down at CWM, spiking him with a springboard DDT! He rolls out of the ring just before Chioda turns around, but now Tony Brannigan is giving chase to Jackson on the floor! Johnny rounds the other corner, trying to escape...but Dan Black is coming at him from THAT side! COLE They've got him trapped! Jackson, with nowhere to turn, quickly slides into the ring and right through his own partners legs, crawling out to the floor on the other side! Static sees both Black and Brannigan coming in after Jackson, and HE bails out on the match, as the GPX know that The Original Elite is out for blood. Tony helps CWM up, and the three of them stare at the GPX, calling them back out to finish the match, but Jackson and Static continue to retreat up the aisleway... CUE:"Getting Away With Murder" CABOOSE Haha, better luck next time GPX...your asses are about to be handed to you! The fans roar, and the faces of Static and Jackson drop, as from the back, Zack Malibu and Some Guy come racing out! Malibu takes Jackson, while Some Guy takes Static, and they both forcefully bring them down to the ring, rolling them in at the feet of the Original Elite! Zack and Some Guy then climb in as well, and five of the OAOAST's longest reigning stars stand over the cocky upstarts... ...then ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE! Malibu and Some Guy trade off on Jackson, ping-ponging him around with punches. Static is led to his feet by Dan Black, and he and Tony prop him up so that CWM can run the ropes and wipe him out with a diving clothesline, a modified Hart Attack! Dan Black starts putting the boots to Static, while CWM moves towards Some Guy, Zack and Jackson...and spins Some Guy around and blasts him with a Pollycutter! COLE What the... CABOOSE Bad blood never dies, Cole! CWM takes out Some Guy, so now Malibu dives for his legs, taking him down and pummeling him until he's grabbed by Dan Black...and then THOSE two start going at it! The feud between The Original Elite and Zack Malibu and Some Guy continues on...and it allows the Global Party Exchange to make an escape! COACH They're getting out of there! COLE Can you blame them! What a mess this is! Referees, trainers, road agents, hell, even a popcorn vendor rush the ring to break up the scuffle between the two other teams. Everyone is seperated and pulled apart after some slight struggling, but it's not that that pisses them all off. It's the sight of Johnny Jackson and Scotty Static pointing and laughing at them from the ramp. CABOOSE As much as I hate to say it, if these kids are gonna learn anything, then Black T, Zack, and SG are going to have to put more of a focus on settling their score with the GPX, rather than letting these old issues burn. COLE Easier said than done, Caboose. GPX have picked a prime time to strike, knowing that the feud is hot between Black T, CWM, Some Guy and Zack. You can surely attest to that. CABOOSE They picked the right time to strike, but they picked the wrong people TO strike. With those words, the scene closes with the ring clearing of everyone and GPX quickly disappearing behind the curtain, knowing that soon enough, they'll feel the wrath of Black T, Zack Malibu, and Some Guy. COLE Well, fans, it's been a wild night so far, and we hope that you can join us and all the action when the OAOAST comes LIVE to your hometown! COACH HOLLA~! VOICE-OVER GUY There's nothing like the thrill of seeing the OAOAST superstars LIVE! A shot airs of the GPX doing cool aerial moves, flippy stuff. Another shot of Zack Malibu kicking someone's teeth in. V-O Next week, HeldDOWN comes LIVE to Indianapolis! A shot of Leon Rodez posing with the X-Title airs, followed by a shot of Hoff on the top rope, then a shot of Gunner Sharps' entrance in his big orange jumpsuit. V-O Next weekend we stop in Cincinatti and Columbus, Ohio! A shot of Axel flashing the crucifix pose, and Black T giving some poor soul the Black Body Bag. Then a shot of CWM laying down a Pollycutter. Ouch! V-O And in two weeks, HeldDOWN comes to Cleveland! The HD logo flashes again. V-O Experience it all, live and in person! Call Ticketmaster for tickets...today! *Boogieman fills the arena, which as always leads to the entrance of The 70s Dude. As he walks out from behind the curtain the crowd boos and a small "Superstar" chant tries to break through between both the boos and music.* Caboose: I know its been awhile since Chicago has seen one, but this is no way to treat a champion. *The 70s Dude ignores the fans and makes his way down the aisle and into the ring. The music dies down and The Dude motions for somebody to hand him the stick.* The 70s Dude: Last week, James "Superstar" Allen vs Sarcastic Simon with a shot at my gold on the line. An important match ruined by The Sk8ter Boiz interfering and costing Simon the match. *The crowd boos the statement remembering all too well what really happened last week. As they boo Benny the Bull makes his way down to the ring with a big Chicago Bulls brand sack full of goodies. The Dude ignores him as he passes out T-shirts and caps.* The 70s Dude: So Allen, you got your shot even if you didn't really earn it. The Dude aint about to back out of a war he has a shot at winning like Tricky Dick did with Vietnam. *The fans boo further but the front row even more-so as Benny the Bull is handing out Washington Wizards gear* The Dude: So at School's Out you're gonna see The Dude put the X back into eXtreme... *a strange look now comes across The Dude's face as Benny the Bull is in the ring, attempting to hand him a Wizards Round 2 T-shirt. The Dude snatches the shirt and shoves Benny down! The Dude yells at a security guy about the situation, when suddenly Benny pulls a set of nunchucks out of his costume and attacks the Dude with them!* COLE What the hell is this??? Benny the Bull, the Chicago Bulls mascot, has attacked The 70's Dude! *Benny then pulls the head off his costume to reveal...* COLE What the hell??? IT'S ALFDOGG!!! Alf has been masquerading as Benny the Bull all night, and now he's laid out The 70's Dude! What the hell is going on here??? ALF I told you all last week, that I was going to get my title shot. And now, I've got it! Me and The 70's Dude next week, for the OAOAST X Title! Get used to this picture, because it's gonna be seen a lot after next week! *"The Wall" by Kansas hits as Alf poses over The Dude with the X-Title belt.* COLE What a match in store for next week! It's Alfdogg challenging The 70's Dude for the OAOAST X Title, RIGHT HERE, next week on HeldDOWN! But up next...are you ready? CABOOSE You know it! COLE It's time for our main event: Gunner Sharps and Crystal taking on Hoff and Axel. Don't go anywhere, 'cause it is NEXT!

For some reason, we're now transported to the men's bathroom, where resident OAOAST development graduee James Blonde is setting a good example to the youth of america and washing his hands. What a guy. Visable in the stall nearest to him meanwhile are two, bare, Samoan feet. BLONDE So then I send "Crystal, baby, I don't mind you following me to the gym...I can cope with the all night sessions in the jacuzzi...I can cope with you bringing your friends over and engaging in rough, unbridled, passionate lovemaking with me...but I swear, if you leave your underwear in the back seat of my Merc one more time, then this might not work out." And that was that. True story. FAQU Sure. Suddenly, Blonde jumps as the bathroom door swings wide open...and to his surprise, the Birmingham Bad Boyz struggle through the door, dragging poor Charles Robinson behind them. Burgess and O'Hara let go of Robinson's heels, giving him a brief chance to escape. But he doesn't get far before they grab an arm each, dragging him into a spare stall... ROBINSON No...please, NO... *FLUSH!* ROBINSON Oh...oh, god! No...not again... *FLUSH!* ROBINSON Ugh...oh...the bleach... *FLUSH!* BLONDE HEY! Finally, after getting his hands suitably dry, Blonde jogs over to the stall and pulls the hapless referee to safety. The BBB emerge from the stall and glare at Blonde, who sets the drowned rat resembling Robinson underneath the hand dryer and casually turning it on. BLONDE What the hell is wrong with you two punks, eh? BURGESS Wot'z it goh'a'do with you, prick? BLONDE What's it got to do with me? I'll tell you kid. I'm OAOAST, through and through. I worked my ass off to become an OAOAST superstar and I respect this company too much to see two scrawny little chavs come in and cause havoc around here. BURGESS Up yours. O'HARA Oi, you wanna start sumthin!?! I'll break ya face mate! Blonde laughs off the threat. BLONDE It seems you two kids have some sort of...lack of respect for authority. Well, me and Faqu'll be more than happy to BEAT some respect into you, right here, in that ring, TONIGHT! The BBB turn to each other and nod, holding their arms out and encouraging Blonde to get the fight started early... *A - HEM!* ...before a cough from the stall interrupts them. FAQU James...I can't fight tonight. A little embarrassed, Blonde chuckles, before moving closer to the stall for a little 'private' chat. BLONDE Why not? FAQU I...uh...I've... BLONDE C'mon big man. This is our chance to get on the show! We can beat these two punks! FAQU Yeah, but... BLONDE What? FAQU ...I got taco shits. Blonde pauses for a moment. BLONDE You're Samoan though. FAQU Well, you know what they say..."When in Rome". BLONDE We're not in Rome. We're not in Mexico either. FAQU ...I got hungry. Sighing, Blonde turns away from the stall and back to the BBB, who are busy trying to steal from the condom machine. BLONDE Okay...next week. You two versus me and Faqu. And Charles... Blonde turns to the sopping wet ref, who looks up. BLONDE ...you're going to be the ref. Robinson's eyes burts open as the BBB look over and smile, O'Hara making a 'gun with his fingers and pointing it at Charles. Blonde spots them though and chases the BBB off, before sighing to himself. BLONDE Taco shits. Zack Damn It! The scene cuts to Sofa Central, and an ill-looking Triple C. COLE "Taco shits?" CABOOSE I think I'm going to be sick...again. COACH Man, I miss Benny. He would have made the bad, bad mental pictures go away. COLE All right, if we can try not to vomit here, we've got a HI-YAH tag title match to call! CABOOSE Bloody good. BUFFER The following contest is a four way tag team contest, set for one fall and is for the HI-YAH tag team championship! Cue: Generic tinkly Oriental music BUFFER Team number one, from Japan and representing HIYAH, at a total combined weight of 450lbs - Golden Cobra and White Tiger - they are the Ark of Violence! The two masked wrestlers, in gold and white, obviously, sprint down to the ring and slide in, before climbing the turnbuckles and looking out over the capacity crowd. COLE HIYAH tag titles on the line, right now! First out we have a team sent over by HI-YAH to showcase some of their homegrown talent. CABOOSE I hear these guys are pretty good. Couple of hard striking guys with stupid masks and names. Cue: "Hit Me Verdi One More Time" BUFFER From the Depths of Hell, combined weight 756lbs, JINGUS and the Sadist - HELLS HIT-MEN! COACH These monsters are former HIYAH champs and they want revenge on the current champs for taking the straps from them. CABOOSE Always a huge danger in any match. One big move from either of these guys can take you out. The Hitmen enter the ring and look curiously at their Japanese opponents, who don't back down. Cue: And the fans leap to their feet for TAFKA The Saints! BUFFER From Las Vegas, Nevada, total combined weight of 432lbs, Logan Mann and Synth Esizer - the Heavenly ROCKERRRRRRRS! Logan and Synth rock it down to the ring, wings and robes and all, Holly just behind them, pointing at her waist and telling the camera with a frown "Bout time my boys had some gold!" Finally, the rocking theme cuts to, er, another rocking theme, as Kiss plays the champs to the ring. BUFFER And from Chicago, Illinoise, total combined weight of 427lbs - Dr. Max Anderson - Dr. Steven Pigley - they are the reigning and defending HIYAH tag team champions - the LUUUUUUUUUURVE DOC-TORS! The crowd give the Docs a decent pop and reception, but its clear from the chants of: "HEAVENLY ROCK-ERS!" Clap clap, clap clap clap "HEAVENLY ROCK-ERS!" that the fans are firmly behind one team in this match. The Hitmen growl at the Docs as our referee, Billy The Ref (yes, he had his last name changed. That's how much he loves being a ref) keeps order. It's decided that Max Anderson will start for the Docs, with his opponent being Golden Cobra. COLE Only two men in the ring in this match, but the wrestlers can tag out to anyone. First pinfall or submission wins the titles. DQ or countout will end the match with no title change, so the challengers need to keep things within the rules. COACH That could be a problem. 8 men can get pretty wild together. COLE You're telling me! *DING DING DING* Max and Cobra lock up. Anderson goes to a wristlock, which Cobra counters to his own. Max rolls forward, grabs Cobra's arm and flips him over with a hip toss. Anderson works an armbar on the seated Cobra, who slowly gets to his feet. Anderson backs Cobra near the ropes, where Logan Mann slaps Golden Cobra on the back to tag himself in. Max releases the HIYA competitor and beckons Logan on. COLE First time meeting for the teams of the Docs and the Rockers. Lock up, and Logan gains the advantage by clamping on a side headlock. Anderson pushes him off to the ropes and then flattens himself to the mat. "Usher" leaps over Max and rebounds off the ropes on the opposite side. Anderson springs up to meet him and takes Logan over with an arm drag. Logan springs back to his feet as Max charges him and returns the favour with his own arm drag, and then a seated dropkick to the face as Dr. Anderson picks himself up! Max is propelled back into the Hitmen's corner, and as he gets to his feet JINGUS tags himself in via a punch to the back of Max's head. JINGUS beckons Logan to take him on. Mann runs the ropes and drives his body into the Devilman's with a shoulder block that has no effect. Another attempt also fails. JINGUS laughs menacingly and swings at Logan, who ducks and fires a few hard kicks into the leg of the monster. Logan runs the ropes again and this time clips the leg out, landing JINGUS onto his back. Mann brings JINGUS up in a headlock and backs into the Rocker's corner, where Synth tags himself in. The Rockers whip the Devilman to the ropes and connect with a double dropkick. COLE I feel like we should be saying something. CABOOSE No, nothing exciting happened yet. Let's keep quiet and pretend we're awed by the match. Synth brings JINGUS up as Billy The Ref "ushers" Logan out. Ha ha. The Devilman shakes off the effects of the dropkick and blocks Synth's attempted punches, then grabs the Heavenly Rocker and whips him all the way across the ring to the Hitmen's corner. JINGUS runs after him and squashes the Synthmeister with a huge avalanche. JINGUS stands aside to allow Synth to step forward and Flair flop to the mat, before tagging Sadist. Sadie climbs to the top rope, arena lights glinting on his bald head, as JINGUS lifts Synth onto his shoulders! Before Sadist can attack, Logan runs in and delivers a chopblock to the legs of the crouched Sadist! The pain loving warrior is propelled down to the floor. Synth flips back off the Devilman's shoulders, landing behind him and pushing him forward into a superkick from Logan! Synth rolls JINGUS up as he staggers back - ONE! TWO! Steve Pigley breaks it up! Pigley smiles and shrugs his shoulders as Logan glares at him. COACH The Heavenly Rockers can't expect an easy ride to victory here. Each of these teams will be on alert to break up any pinfall. COLE The best chance to win this match will come if anarchy descends and someone can sneak a quick pin. Synth brings JINGUS up, but they're close to the corner of the Ark of Violence, and White Tiger tags himself in to replace JINGUS. Tiger springs into the ring and flexes, beckoning Synth on. Synth looks amused, but they lock up. Tiger immediately shoves him off and lashes him hard with a knife edged chop, then a couple more that propel Synth to the ropes. Tiger grabs his arm and attempts an Irish whip, but the Synthmeister reverses it. As Tiger flys back, Synth catches him with a neat, hard impact powerslam into a cover: ONE! TWO! Tiger kicks out as both his partner and Max Anderson make to enter the ring. Synth picks Cobra up and applies a front facelock, looking for a snap suplex, but Cobra blocks it and then connects with a hard knee to the gut of Synth. Cobra then grabs the Rocker and drives him down hard with an STO. Cobra drags Synth across to the Ark of Violence corner and tags White Tiger, who immediately grabs Synth's arms behind him, looking for a Tiger Suplex, but Synth breaks out, getting a full nelson on White Tiger. Tiger drops to his knees, with Synth keeping the hold locked, but Tiger breaks out by flipping up, wrapping his legs round Synth's head and flipping him over with a modified head scissors. Both men spin to their feet, and charge. Tiger ducks Synth's lariat and jumps on his back in the crucifix position. Tiger tries to tug Synth over, once, twice, and on the third time succeeds, and with impact, as he flips Synth off his feet and crushes him into the mat with the Crucifix Bomb. Cover: ONE - and immediately broken up by Max Anderson, who ignores the pleading of Billy The Ref to hammer away at White Tiger. Anderson flips the stunned Tiger onto his shoulders and then runs across the ring, jumping forward and smashing Tiger to the canvas with the Air Raid Crash. Billy forces Max out. COLE The Love Doctors have hardly been a factor in this match so far; I think there's some frustration with them now. CABOOSE This is a big match for the Docs, no question. They need to win this and start to build their reputations once again. Everytime in this match wants the HIYAH titles, but ultimately, those OAOAST straps are their real goal, and to get them wins are needed. Synth brings Tiger up, but Tiger suddenly busts out a dropsault, and then rolls over to the nearest corner to tag out - and it happens to be to the freshly recovered Sadist. Sadie steps over the top rope and grabs Synth, who throws punches into the near 7 foot monsters gut that are totally ignore. Sadist wraps his hand around Synth's throat and tries for a chokeslam, but Logan runs and dropkicks Sadist in the chest, causing him to drop his grip. The Heavenly Rockers whip Sadist to the ropes, but he decimates them with a double arm lariat as he comes back. Sadist then casually military presses Logan and drops him out of the ring to the floor. The pain loving freak then turns to the rising Synth and nearly decapitates him with a running boot to the head. COACH Impressive power from the man known as the Sadist. He's never really reached his potential yet in the OAOAST. COLE He's one of the few hosses of this company, and that alone should guarantee him some title hold, if there was any justice in the world. Just like Cole's Bar should be syndicated across the world. COACH I hear last weeks episode, where Caboose beat you about the head with a cricket bat for 25 minutes, was your highest rated yet. CABOOSE I'm a star. And so is Mr Bashy, the bat. He'll be back in a few weeks on Cole's Bar. COLE In the ring, Sadist scrapes up Synth, who is badly in need of a tag, and grabs a full nelson. Sadist goes for the full nelson slam, but Synth rolls out and tags to Steve Pigley. The crowd pops as Pigley, in long electric blue tights, vaults into the ring and hammers on Sadist with forearms and chops. Dr. Steve grabs Sadist around the neck and runs to the corner, trying for a Sliced Bread #2 type move, but as his boots meet the top rope, Sadist just shoves him off and down to the floor, where Pigley hits hard on the guard rail! Seeing Pigley isn't moving, referee Billy The Ref allows a bending of the rules as Max Anderson leaps in to take his partners place, nailing Sadist with a springboard lariat as he turns back into the middle of the ring. Anderson waits for Sadist to rise, and then rolls him up a La Majistral: ONE! TWO! Kickout! Logan and Synth regroup in their corner, with Holly giving them a pep talk. The Ark of Violence is also itching to get back into the bout, as Max quickly climbs to the top rope in the empty Docs corner - but Sadist shows surprising speed in running up after him! Anderson and Sadist slug it out up top, until JINGUS runs into the ring and helps Sadist subdue Max. They grab him for a double team superplex - but the instead of falling into the ring, they just drop Max all the way down to the ring floor! Anderson connects with a terrible noise, and both Docs are down. COLE A horrible, Hellish move by the Hitmen! Both Docs hurt, and chances are we'll have new champs now. Billy The Ref makes JINGUS leave the ring, as Sadist goes out and grabs Max back into the ring. Cover - ONE! TWO! THREE! No! Golden Cobra breaks it up! Sadist, breathing heavily after a long spell in the ring, tags out to JINGUS. The Devilman brings Max up and flips him onto his shoulders in position for a Burning Hammer - but Anderson escapes behind JINGUS and dizzyly tags in Logan, who charges at JINGUS - and the monster sends him flying out over the top with a belly to belly throw! Synth immediately runs over to check on his partner, as both Cobra and Tiger charge in and attack JINGUS. Sadist runs in the aid his partner, as Billy The Ref looses control. Sadist grabs Cobra and drills him with a chokeslam, as Tiger nails JINGUS with an enziguiri. Cobra and JINGUS rolls out as Sadist charges Tiger, who backs off, pulls down the top rope and allows Sadist to fly out to the floor. Tiger sees the mass of bodies on the floor and turns to run the ropes to leap onto them - but runs right into Dr. Steve Pigley, who kicks him in the gut and delivers the Time of Death (Michinoku Driver)! ONE! TWO! THREE! *DING DING DING* "Calling Dr. Love" plays, as Pigley rolls out of the ring and unites with Max on the floor, leaving the rest of the wrestlers in shock at the sudden victory. COLE Out of nowhere, Steve Pigley hits his big move to pin White Tiger! Docs retain! CABOOSE That match was being dominated by the Hitmen, but the Docs put one over on them once again, and they survive this tough bout. In the ring, Billy The Ref realises that while Pigley never technically tagged out, White Tiger was nowhere close to being a legal man, and he sobs quietly to himself. As the Hitmen and Ark of Violence depart, The Heavenly Rockers gaze in surprise at the celebrating Doctors of Love - and don't see two men run out from the back. They don't see two men knock them to the floor with hard chair shots to the back, but they probably do feel it. The Frankensteiners laugh (and bark) over their fallen foes, as Holly tries vainly to ward them off. Frankie pushes Holly down, grabs Synth up and gives him a german suplex onto the ramp. COLE This rivalry between the Frankensteiners and the Rockers erupts yet again! A rush of security runs down to pull the Frankies away from the Heavenly Rockers. Frank spills a flood of obscenities at everyone in his vicinity. COACH Things are really getting out of hand between these two teams. They have to settle this. COLE And away we go to something else! Backstage, CWM is taping his fists up when he suddenly feels the presence of someone else by him. He lifts his head and looks to his left, and the camera pans over to see SOME GUY standing by him! SOME GUY Evening. CWM What? SOME GUY Heard you're "stepping up for the company" tonight, hmm? CWM Kids need to learn, who better to teach 'em? SOME GUY Hmm, well, how about someone without their own agenda? CWM What are you saying? SOME GUY What I'm saying is that me, Zack...even Dan and Tony, have a right to go after those kids for what they did last week. Now you might be with Black and Brannigan, you've got that whole stable thing going on and that's cool...but where do YOU fit in to all of this? CWM I... Before he can answer, CWM is interrupted by Black T, who approach slowly, wondering what Some Guy is doing with their associate. TONY Can we help you? SOME GUY As a matter of fact, you can. See, this concerns what went down last week with the GPX. BLACK It's taken care of. SOME GUY Excuse me? BLACK I said it's taken care of. You didn't think Tony and I were gonna let those teenyboppers get away with what they did now did you? SOME GUY So what's your plan? BLACK Who are you, my best friend all of a sudden? Look, all you need to know is that come School's Out, those boys are gonna be "Old Schooled" as they'd say by Tony and myself, one more time. SOME GUY Wait...you've got a match with them at the pay per view? BLACK Yeah. I mean, yeah I know we've kicked their asses time and time ag... Dan stops in mid sentence, and the camera pans over again to ZACK MALIBU, which draws a pop from the crowd watching his on the Angletron. MALIBU Gentlemen. None of the Original Elite respond. MALIBU Nice to see you too. Hey, SG, did you fill these boys in on what's going down? TONY No. MALIBU Well, see, as nice as it is for CWM to stick up for all of us, I'm hoping that you save a piece of the GPX for School's Out. BLACK Heh, too late Malibu, we've already gone over that, and at School's Out, WE'VE got the GPX. MALIBU I know you do. TONY OK, no games Zack. What are you getting at? MALIBU No games at all, T-Bod. At School's Out, it's true...you DO have the GPX. But you have us too. The crowd roars, Black and Brannigan seem to know where this is going, and are not happy. MALIBU C'mon boys, do the math. Three teams, bad blood running amongst them all, so what better way to solve things than with a THREE WAY DANCE? BLACK WHAT? No way...you can have the leftovers, IF there are any. MALIBU Look, none of us get along, that's a fact. It's also a fact that you guys and the GPX go way back, and there's a lot more hostility there. But what they did last week, they did to ALL of us, and judging by their words, it's gonna keep happening unless we cut it short ASAP. TONY So what, you want a marriage of convienience or something? "Banding together for the common good?" Please Zack, even being back in goody two shoes mode you can't be THAT stupid. SOME GUY Look, the three way dance is as much for our hatred of you as it is them. All of us can kill two birds with one stone. You guys could get us and them out of the way. Me and Zack can get revenge two fold, or the GPX can eliminate four of the longest reigning OAOAST stars. There's a lot at stake. CWM Yeah well, we'll see how well they do after tonight. Static's mine. MALIBU Fair enough...but we'll be sticking around, you know, just in case you boys need some help. With that, Malibu and Some Guy exit the scene, and The Original Elite mutter words too hot for television under their breath. COLE CWM vs. Scotty Static! NEXT!

The scene opens on Jay Richards pacing in front of an unmarked door, looking nervous. COLE Fans, we're back live here on HeldDOWN, and what is this Jay Richards doing in the building? COACH Pacing! COLE Well I don't think that-- Cole is cut off in mid-sentence by the door opening, and the lovely Josie Baker stepping out, accompanied by an aide. As the pair talk, Jay falls into step behind them. JOSIE Okay, so I need you to get all that cued up, before they decide to go on stage. And don't forget the new system. AIDE Right, ma'am. The aide turns down a hall, off to do her business. Josie smiles. JAY Ms. Baker! Josie looks back, then rolls her eyes as Richards steps into frame. JOSIE Mr. Richards. How lovely to see you. I thought I already told you we weren't interested? JAY Yeah, you did, but I'm here to ask you to reconsider. Josie stops, turning to face the would-be superstar. JOSIE Look, I've given you a lot of thought. Now, as I said, one day, you migh be a superstar. But I think it's just too soon! Now I can talk to the people at HI-YAH, give you a reference, but I-- JAY Wait, what about a tryout match? JOSIE ...I'm sorry? JAY Why don't you give me a tryout next week. You say I'm not good enough? Well let me show your people what I can do, and then decide. What do you have to lose? Josie thinks it over for a moment. JOSIE Well...I don't know if we'll have room on the show... JAY Come on, you can find the time! I mean, what if nobody had ever given K-Money his opportunity? Josie looks up sternly. JOSIE Listen, kid. Don't try to pretend that you know me. You don't know me, or Ken. Keep my family out of this. JAY I don't care about your family! All I want is a shot. Josie looks down, nodding to herself. JOSIE Fine. Next week you get one shot. But you had better impress me. Elation spreads over Jay's face as he shakes the GM's hand vigorously. JAY YES! Thank you, thank you so much, you won't regret it!! Jay walks down the hall, pumping his fist in the air as Josie turns and walks away. *cut to Triple C* COLE So Jay Richards is going to get his shot! CABOOSE Well, I hope for his sake he doesn't blow it. Although it would be funny. COLE Fans, a few weeks ago, we saw two young kids going by the name of the Birmingham Bad Boyz. With a 'Z'. Which instantly makes them better than those no Z losers like Black T and The Heavenly Rockers. If they were the 'Heavenly Rockerz' with a Z, it'd be a different story. Don't even get me started on the New, New Midnight Express...an X and no Z? What's wrong with the New, New Midnight Exprezz? And...uh...where was I? CABOOSE I don't know, but it was bloody intolerable. COLE ...oh well. Tag team action on the way, let's send it up to The Buff! Okay then. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Latin Amerrrrricaaa~! LLLLOOOOSSSS... COOOOONNQUUIIISSSSTADOOOOORRRRRSSSSSS!!! A mixed reaction goes up for the masked duo who raise their fists in the air. As they do, "Flip Reverse It" by The Blazin' Squad hits and the crowd boo the assault on their eardrums. Swaggering out through the curtains, The Birmingham Bad Boyz are already mouthing off to the nearest fans. COLE These two young kids don't seem to like Chicago. COACH COZ THEY'RE CHAVS, INNIT~! CABOOSE Failed Mascot's right, we do have too many commentators. COLE And that's a shoot, brutha. *poses for 7 minutes* COACH ONE MORE MATCH! ONE MORE MATCH! As they walk down the aisle, O'Hara grabs a beer from one of the fans and walks off, only for the one and only CARL WINSLOW~! (~!) to appear from nowhere and tackle him to the floor. Winslow quickly 'leaps' to his feet, pointing his gun at the fan who supplied a minor with alcohol, while O'Hara enters the ring. BUFFER And introducing the opponents. Making their OAOAST debut...the team of Jamie O'Hara and Ryan Burgess... THE BIRMINGHAM... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADD BOOOOOOOOYYYYZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" COLE See!?! See how much cooler the Z is!?! O'Hara and Burgess raise their arms in the air, only to get mercilessly booed. The two take offence and turn to the outside to argue with the fans. As they do, the taller of the two Conquistadors sneaks up behind Burgess and swipes his Burberry hat!! Burgess turns around in shock, as the Conquistador puts on the hat and WALKS LIKE A CHAV~! Which is only really funny if you know what that looks like, I guess. CABOOSE I thought we sent all the goofs to Japan. Pissed, Burgess fumes in the corner, waiting for the Conquistador to turn around...before WIPING him out with a clothesline!! *DING DING DING!* The bell rings as Burgess stomps away on the Conquistador, whilst O'Hara charges across the ring and bundles the second Conquistador out. Referee Charles Robinson quickly motions O'Hara back to his corner. Meanwhile, Burgess continues to stomp. And stomp. And stomp. And...retrieve his hat...before stomping the Conqistador below the belt. COLE That's Conquistador Dos in there. CABOOSE How do you know that!?! COLE Because it's either Uno and Dos. So Uno is on the floor. So that must be Dos. CABOOSE ...that didn't explain anything. Burgess grabs Dos...or Uno...or...grabs the Conquistador off the canvas, throwing him into a corner. Desperatly Dos tries to cover up, but Burgess starts throwin' hands and pounds Dos into a seated position. O'Hara shouts encouragement from the corner as Burgess backs up...and CANNONBALLS into the seated Dos! COACH STRAIGHT BALLIN', YO~! Getting to his feet, Burgess goes to make the tag. But O'Hara is busy arguing with a couple of 'gypos' in the front row. Robinson is distracted by this for some reason...which allows Uno to reach into the ring, pulling out the winded Dos and switching places with him! Some of the crowd cheer, the rest continue their march to the concession stands, as O'Hara finally tags in. Thinking he has a weakened Conquistador in the corner, O'Hara charges...BUT UNO GETS A FOOT UP TO BLOCK THE BRONCO BUSTER ATTEMPT!! O'Hara bounces away and holds his groin, as Burgess enters the ring. Uno rolls underneath a clothesline though, as Burgess hits the opposite ropes and runs into a standing dropkick! COLE Right on the button from Dos! CABOOSE I thought Uno was the one on the floor? COLE He is. CABOOSE Yeah... COLE So that must be Dos. CABOOSE But they switched a minute ago. COLE Did they? Oh, well, I couldn't tell. To be honest, I can't tell these Conquistadors apart. CABOOSE ... Back in the ring meanwhile, Uno has O'Hara backed against the ropes. Unloading with open handed strikes, Uno grabs an arm and whips O'Hara across...and hits a standing dropkick on him too! Uno dives into the cover... 1... 2.. Burgess breaks the count! Staggering away, Uno tries to get away from Burgess. But Crazee B catches up with him and clubs him with a forearm. And again. Irish whip by Burgess, but Uno baseball slides through, leaving Burgess wide open for Dos and a springboard...EYEPOKE!! "YEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!" Robinson admonishes Dos, but the Latin American doesn't seem to understand him, assuming Robinson is saying 'poke him in the other eye'...which he does! "YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Waving frantically, Robinson finally gets his point across. And instead of poking Burgess in the eye, Dos stomps on his foot! Burgess howls and hops on his good foot as Uno and Dos link arms...but Burgess ducks a double clothesline. On run the Conquistadors, but Burgess ducks again. Suddenly, O'Hara runs into the picture and as the Conquistadors rebound again, they get KOed with stereo superkicks! COLE A superkick a-piece for Uno and Dos! Suddenly, the BBB are fired up and launch into attack, stomping the hell out of Los Conquistadors again. Burgess drops to his knees and starts to choke Dos, while O'Hara splits Uno's legs, dropping a knee south of the border. Literally. Referee Robinson seems lost as O'Hara grabs Uno again...and again drops a knee south of the border. Literally. Burgess meanwhile mounts Dos and pounds away with right hands. Robinson has finally had enough though and forgetting who the legal men are, grabs O'Hara and tries to restrain him... ...but gets nailed with a back elbow!! COLE Hey! He hit Lil' Naitch! CABOOSE Heh, he's never gonna live that debacle down, is he? As Robinson lays on the mat, O'Hara goes back to beating the crap out of the Conquistador. *DING DING DING!* COLE ...wait a minute...referee Robinson's calling for the bell here! Ignoring the bell, The Bad Boyz continue to mercilessly club away at the Conquistadors. Until that is, Michael Buffer walks over to the dazed Robinson and asks what the hell is going on. BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen...your winners of this match, as a result of a disqualification... LLOOOOOSSS... CONQUISTADORRRSSSSS!! "YEEEEAAAAAAHHHH!!" COLE CONQUISTADORS WIN! CONQUISTADORS WIN! CABOOSE For jobbers, they've got a pretty good record, huh? Hearing the announcement, Burgess and O'hara turn their heads towards Buffer. Wisely though, The Buff sprints off and hurdles the guardrail for safety. Charles Robinson isn't so lucky though. The BBB advance on him and Robinson tries to scramble away. But Burgess catches an ankle, as does O'Hara. With a leg each, the BBB then roll out of the ring, dragging Robinson out and pulling him by the ankles, up the rampway, Robinson clawing and screaming all the way. But nobody seems that bothered about him. Especially Los Conquistadors, who are groggily celebrating their victory. COLE Well, there goes Charles. Let's hope they don't kill him. Or rape him. COACH Ew. CABOOSE Is that all you can say, ew? COACH No, it's not that. I just hate these blue M&Ms. Anyone want the rest?

COLE Welcome back, fans. Hey Coach, it's Benny the Bull again! He's coming over here! COACH HEY BENNY!! HI!! HI BENNY!!!! Benny walks over to the Sofa, and hands Coach a stuffed teddy bear in a Bulls T-shirt. COACH COLE Wow! Pretty cool, huh, Coach? COACH CABOOSE A special gift for our special little man. Benny pats Coach on the head, and walks off. COACH THANKS BENNY!!!! ~“Axelay Kick My Axe OC Remix” by Midee starts playing and as the lead guitar kicks in a man walks out onto the stage. He’s wearing a black luchadore mask with some designs on it, a shirt that reads “R.I.P. Chris Candido”, and black tights with blue text on the sides. One cannot help but notice a few scars on his arms. He calmly walks down to the ring, high fiving any fans who stick their hand out. The crowd remains quiet, unsure how to react to this stranger. He gets into the ring and gets a mike, then addresses the crowd.~ Mystery Man: Hello, everyone. My name is Otaku II. My late father was the original Otaku. I have come to the OAOAST from a now defunct wrestling organization that was once among the most prestigious out there, but due to legal reasons, I cannot mention its name. I consider myself to be a hard worker and a tough wrestler. I always fight clean and I never break the rules, but I am not just another squeaky clean up and comer. I fought in some of the most brutal matches imaginable when I started my career in wrestling over in Japan. ~At this point, this man we now know as Otaku II pulls off his shirt and reveals his scarred chest and back.~ Otaku II: I have survived barbed wire and I have survived fire and I have survived being in matches where C4 was strapped to wooden boards. I do not give in easily, and I always give matches my all. I will be making my wrestling debut in the OAOAST next week, and I hope that you all will be watching and will like the style I bring to the ring. See you all next Thursday. ~Otaku then puts down the mike, leaves the ring, and walks to the back.~ COLE Wow! A statement made by the man known as Otaku II! CABOOSE I like this guy. COACH You do? CABOOSE Well, more than you two. COLE You are just mean, Caboose! CABOOSE It's how I roll. The cameras again cut to Buffer as we prepare for our next match! BUFFER Ladies and gentlemen, your following contest is scheduled for one fall. In the ring, from Chicago, Illinois... *cheap pop* BUFFER ...he weighs two hundred and thirty, Chicago-bred pounds... *cheap pop* BUFFER ...BRRRRRRRIIIAAAAAANN... GGRRRRRRRRAAAAAVVVEEESSSSSSSS!! *awkward silence* "YEEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!" screams one lone fan in the front row. In the ring, the youthful looking Graves gives him a thumbs up. But the smile soon dissappears from the kid's face, as the strains of AC/DC's "Back In Black" kick in. Some of the crowd pop, simply for a bad-ass song...but the pops die out as the monstrous Bohemoth steps through the curtains, closely followed by Christian Wright. COLE Well, here come a couple of controversial figures. As if we didn't have enough of them around. Bohemoth stops on the stage, flexing 'TEH GUNZ~!' to applause from Wright. BUFFER And his opponent...accompanied to the ring by "The Natural" Christian Wright. From Greenville, South Carolina. He weighs two hundred and eighty four pounds... BOOOOOOO - HHHEEEEEMMOOOOOOOTTTTTHHHHHHH!! "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Reaching the ring, Bohemoth leaps to the apron. The fear is evident on Graves' face as he looks across the ring at the fate awaiting him. Bo meanwhile enters the ring and gives a nod to Wright. CABOOSE This could be very quick and VERY painful. *DING DING DING!* The opening bell seems more like the dinner bell to Bohemoth, as he instantly charges Graves. Tackling him into a corner, Bo starts to club away on Graves, who desperatly covers up. The strikes still get through though, dazing Graves. Bo eventually grabs an arm, pulling Graves out of the corner and into a HIGH BAAAAACK~! body drop! COLE Oh MY! Graves must have been 7 or 8 HUNDRED feet in the air!! CABOOSE *sighs* A collective groan escapes the fans as Graves rolls underneath the bottom rope clutching his back. Before he can reach the floor though, Bohemoth grabs the kid by the ankle and pulls him back in. Graves tries to crawl away again, but Bo drops a BIG elbow across the ribs to stop him. Before dropping the elbow across the back of the head. Bohemoth looks emotionless as he then picks Graves up, scooping him up and dropping him across the top rope throat first! "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" On the outside, Wright turns to the fans and yells at them to keep quiet. The chants don't bother Bohemoth though, as he drops a big leg across Graves' throat. Graves chokes and splutters for breath, causing referee Hebner to check on him. Bohemoth brushes him aside though, picking up Graves and whipping him into the turnbuckles. Out staggers Graves... *WHAM!* "OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" ...INTO A STIFF, STIFF LARIAT!! COLE Oh my God! CABOOSE I told you. Very quick, very painful. With Graves out cold, Bohemoth pulls himself up, staring down at his motionless opponent. His head then turns to Christian Wright, who with a smile, gives the thumbs down. CABOOSE Uh-oh. Bo nods down to his buddy, before picking up Graves. "LE - ON!" Hooking an arm under his arm and head, Bohemoth scoops Graves up into his arms, carrying the two-thirty pounder in his arms with ease. "LE - ON!" Before swinging him around... "LE - ON!" ...out... "LE - ON!" ...AND DOWN!! COLE He calls that The Erotic Awakening Of B! I call that the end of Brian Graves. 1... 2... 3! *DING DING DING!* "Back In Black" hits again as Bohemoth pulls himself up and casually brushes off Graves' sweat from his shoulder. BUFFER Your winner... BOOOOO - HHHEEEMMMMOOOOTTTTHHHHHH!!! With a beaming smile on his face, Christian Wright rolls into the ring and pats his 'associate' on the back. Bo smiles back, before raising his arms skywards triumphantly. CABOOSE What an emphatic win. COLE And now we know why Christian Wright is so outspoken. With THAT man watching my back...even I'd be outspoken. And tha...HEY, wait a minute!! Suddenly, Da MC stops as Christian Wright pulls Brian Graves to his feet and looks on a front facelock. Already the boos are audible around the arena, as Wright sets Graves up for a vertical suplex. He gets Graves up about half way before stopping, holding Graves at 90 degrees for a second or two...before twisting to the side and SPIKING Graves on the top of his head!! The crowd let out a mixture of gasps and jeers as Wright stands over Graves, staring down at him, with a sick smile on his face. COLE What the hell was the meaning of that!?! CABBOSE I don't know...but I think we're going to find out. Caboose is dead on, as Wright demands a microphone from ringside. Standing over Graves and raising the mic to his lips, Wright has to pause... "LE - ON! LE - ON! LE - ON!" ...waiting for the chants to die down before continuing. WRIGHT Chant all you want...Leon isn't coming. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT You won't be seeing Leon Rodez for some considerable time. Which is for...your own good. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" WRIGHT Leon...I know you're watching. And I know that eventually, you will make your 'triumphant' return. Well...if tonight wasn't a clear enough message sent your way, as to what to expect when you do return...then I suggest you use some of your tainted, dirty money for good and order School's Out. Because, at School's Out...for you, school will be well and truly in. For I am issuing a challenge...to anyone who dares step up against me. I will have my first competitive OAOAST match at School's Out. And Leon, maybe THAT will get you to change your ways. Wright drops the mic and smiles a wry smile, as the crowd boo wildly. COLE An open challenge, issued by Christian Wright. Who's going to accept the challenge? COACH Not me. COLE Where'd you come from? COACH I dunno. Seems like one minute I'm here and one minute I ain't tonight! COLE Well don't YOU go anywhere, folks -- we'll be right back!